Imagine calling Beau a "beta male." The guy who goes into the projects after a hurricane with a chain saw and some baby formula. Literally more heroic than the stars of most disaster movies
I don't always agree with Beau, sometimes I vehemently disagree. (Not on this topic, he's dead on) But he is ANYTHING but a beta male. I learn from him even when I disagree. Dude should be running this shit. I'd follow him into hell.
It's so sad when some guy who's likely single calls a married guy a "beta male" and tells him he'll "always be lonely" when he's happily married. That's sorta pathetic honestly.
I just want to say I have heard "structured time" in only one other context before: It was describing a period of time where elementary school kids would be given time to play within the confines of what was available in the classroom. The intent was literally "some freedom but not so much you lose control of them". Describing a date with a fully grown adult woman as "structured time" really tells me what kind of a person you are.
I have personally found that supposed 'alpha's' tend to be the most beta of all. I don't believe in the whole alpha /beta crap, but if there was any truth, an alpha doesn't need to talk about being an alpha, they know they are and what they can do. Like the giant dog that is super mellow and gentle until a threat appears, as opposed to the little dog that barks at every shadow.
All I knew about Beau's wife before this video was that she's an RN, but the moment that message implied they thought she's a passive 'tradwife' I started laughing because I work with nurses. There are, of course, a variety of personality types in every career, but it's unwise to assume someone who is willing to care for wounds, remove sutures, assist patients bigger than they are in and out of bed, change catheters and IV lines, etc. is a docile and delicate creature who lets their partner make all the rules.
Yeah, anybody who expects a freaking nurse to be a submissive doormat is too dumb to live and will richly deserve it when a pack of offended nurses tear him to small, bloody shreds (only verbally if he's very, very lucky) Do these types seriously expect that somebody who will day after day go and work with kids with terminal cancer or dementia patients who lose a bit of themselves each day because their patients need them will be impressed by their silly attempts at "showing dominance"?
Not to mention risking their lives to care for people during a pandemic. Many of whom treat their saviors with disrespect and hatred. It's called dedication and compassion.
Not to mention having to put up with a lot of beurocratic stress from our disfunctional medical system and "medical" businesses that tend to prioritize $$ over quality patient care. This comes up as poor salaries, being understaffed, unstable work schedules, etc. You have to have a lot of personal drive and dedication towards your patients to keep working under those conditions. The system as it is set up now depends on being able to exploit this empathetic work ethic. I have experienced this second hand through my partner for 10 years and now her daughter.
I am a 68-y.o. guy, and never wanted a "trad. wife" even back in the 1970s-80s. Sweet Jeebus, in the post Vietnam War era, a lot of us saw the 1950s and 60s, as why the country was so messed up. I found my wife in grad school, and found her intellectually stimulating these last 40 years. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Key addition here, if you don't mind: Treating your crush in like a fellow human being an equal does NOT constitute courtship in its own right. Instead it is the most fundamental requirement for dating to even be considered. Then comes the hard part. Relaxing in her company and being able to read your own feelings about her and be true to those.
The whole time that guy was talking about how you have a tradwife stay at home horse mom, I was sitting there thinking "Wait, isn't Beau's wife a registered nurse? I could have sworn he said she was working frontline in the pandemic..." I wasn't remembering wrong, that guy just never listened to a word you've ever said about her and made up a fantasy in his head. Good gods.
He may be a new viewer that didn’t hear about Beau’s wife being an RN during the pandemic. His audience has grown so much. That being said, I had the same thoughts, “Isn’t she an RN? She does have a career and is likely a force to be reckoned with. This fool just stepped in it”.
Prior to that, she had some sort of crazy hard core job that was something akin to running a military ICU or something like that. Sounds like a total rockstar to me.
I am that "trad wife". I loved being a homemaker. I was good at it. 30 years later, he wanted to know why I wasn't contributing "my share", demanded I get a job, spent our life savings to buy a derelict yacht, filed for divorce two days before Christmas, and has effectively *ruined* my life because, despite not being able to pick up his own socks without needing a round of applause, he thinks he's going to sail around the world with his new girlfriend. He's going to get away with it too, because the judge thinks my disabled ass can get a job and build a career; a whole, brand new life, including retirement income, I guess - beginning in my 50s. And my story isn't even new or interesting - it's a cliche. Being a "trad wife" is just too risky, even if she wants to be, boys. You'd best resign yourself to the idea that a woman isn't something you are entitled to and start learning better now, because we're probably not going to allow our daughters to end up like we did.
@@TruCat Ma'am I'm sorry to hear this. Im blessed with my Mrs of 63yrs. She was Called to be a RN. But there's no shame if one chooses to be at home full time too. Your Ex is unworthy of being referred to as a Man. Prayers n God Bless Caitlin.
Almost every man can have that experience. They just have to be open to having feelings. Unfortunately, American culture has been about dominance for hundreds of years. You can clearly see it in MAGA Cult culture, where the men are certain that women are the weaker of the species, in every way, and women should be at home birthing men's babies. But now, this intersection of Q-nutz, MAGA, and INCEL is turning domination of women to hatred of women. Although this causes much pain for American women, the GREAT news is Q/MAGA/INCEL is going to work itself out in a Darwinian fashion on one generation. If men become too stupid to get laid, then those men do not get to breed the next generation of Q-nutz, MAGA, and INCEL.
I had a work friend once who would stand in our group and continually bash his wife. Day after day, I listened to his drivel, and finally I stopped him. I told him that everyone here who had seen him with his wife, including me, knew how desperately he loved her and to cut the crap. Bashing his wife was only tearing his marriage apart, whether she heard him say these things or not, and it is disloyal. He looked surprised, everyone laughed and agreed. He must have thought about it, because thereafter, we only heard how wonderful she was. I know he was only trying to prove he was alpha, but it had had the opposite effect and it had hurt his credibility.
Beau's analogy of the Head and Neck is a perfect example of the partnership that a marriage should be between two people that love and respect each other.
Definite self-own! Reminds me of a Twitter screenshot I saw recently on Quora where one of these types insisted that the female orgasm doesn't exist because he'd had sex with many women and had never seen one reach it. The first answer on the screenshot was "waterboarding wouldn't have gotten that admission out of me!" :P
What's wrong with that? Low expectations are easier to meet. Why wouldn;t you want to make things easy? My expectations for a relationship are very low. All I want is for her to be nice for me. They're low because that's incredibly rare
@@painunending4610 It would be okay if he also had low expectations. But you know this dude wants a woman who looks like she's straight out of an ad and takes care of all the parts of life he doesn't like.
@@painunending4610 The first thing about my husband that drew me to him is that he talked and listened to me like a person who genuinely wanted to know who I am, and wanted me to know whe he is. Then came the work of figuring out if together we could use love, strength, tolerance, and mutual respect to make it work long term. Are we consistently nice to each other? Nope, we're only human. Setting aside one's ego and sincerely apologizing is a good ingredient in any relationship. We met in 1990, married in 1993. So far, so good.
"Nice for me." That's about as vague and useless a metric as you can give someone as regards your expectations. Plus, your last line indicates that your expectation isn't even low to begin with. Besides; the comment wasn't about your expectations; it was about HER expectations. If you want a partner that has low expectations, you must not think very much of yourself.
One of the most important things that my grandfather ever told me, when I was a little girl, was, "Any guy who thinks his manhood's threatened by his woman's accomplishments ain't got no manhood to begin with." In case you're wondering if he was a "Beta", he was a decorated sailor in the US Navy who served with distinction in combat in WWII.
Yup. Real men in any age have never been afraid of strong women. It's only been the man children desperately needing to posture to prop up their fragile egos who feel threatened and let themselves be consumed by envy and jealousy just because some of the competition happens to have breasts instead of a dick to measure theirs against. Even as what being a man means changes over time, that truth remains constant.
But trumpiots (not patriots as they believe themselves to be ) would absolutely call him a beta male because they saw a meme , played a violent video game and watched some porn so now they're battle hardened.
Same - My dad was a Korean War vet who served aboard diesel subs. The man was so tough, Chuck Norris probably asked him for pointers. Nicest, most caring man ever. He taught me to respect myself as a human being & to not to take crap from anyone who would treat me (or anyone) as "lesser".
It is all about self confidence. If you have accomplishments, reasons to be proud of yourself, you can date a woman who makes 6 figures and not feel inferior. You can be with a doctor, lawyer, corporate executive, and still feel secure in your manhood. But if you are not learning new things and growing, not helping other people, not making something of yourself, then even if you are not living in your mom's basement literally, you are doing so figuratively. At that point a woman with accomplishments, or even the agency to someday have accomplishments, is above you. So you have to tear a woman down, beat her down, so she can't be "better," than you because if she is better than you she will leave you. You can never have a woman worth having because you are shit and know it. That is what Tate fans are.
I'm an old Curmudgeonly fart, 90. Been married 63 yrs,happily. One of my old favorite TV shows is George Burns n Gracie Allen. In the very 1st episode? George is doing an opening monologs. My Favorite line as he introduces the new show n Gracie,,then himself? He says "You may recognize me. IM GRACIE ALLENS Husband!" (FYI, she ran for president in early 40s. Against Roosevelt. She actually got near 50,000 write in votes! Her political party was called "The Surprise Party". 😉
@@alphaomega5909 That is wild. I just looked it up and the whole thing is just totally off the charts insane. “ everybody knows a woman is better than a man when it comes to introducing bills into the house.” & other funny campaign speeches were given. The mascot was the kangaroo and it’s motto was “it’s in the bag. Just a few of the funny tidbits, I found on Wikipedia.
@@DEIDREROG See,, she played the Ditz. But in real life was a Brilliant comedienne. If you want read George's book on her, their career,life. Titled "Why? I Love Her That's Why!" .
Amazing! I am officially now "old as f***"! I think back to the first time I rescued a woman in distress; it was summer of 1970, she was sitting in a booth across from me in a little diner, made eye contact and I realized she was uncomfortable, so I used the "wow, it's been so long since I've seen you" intro, paid both bills and walked her out and got her safely on her way. It was just a thing that felt right. I've had the opportunity to do similar actions since; now at 74 years old I am anything but lonely, I have a beautiful family who care for me, many friends of all genders, and continue with my interesting life. I'm just trying to help those around me have as good a life as mine. It costs me nothing that I can't afford, and it brings me great pleasure to see others thrive. I expect to continue my "beta" ways for several more years, without the stress of being an "alpha" I'm sure to continue to live long and prosper. Thanks for this "just a thought"; it makes me feel validated.
To add to the nobody does that, i can add my own story. I worked as an IT guy on professional events like medical congresses. Usually my client organized the congress, and hired a team of hostesses, myself to take care of IT things onsite… well one evening, the congress was closing, and a doctor who probably had a bit too much champagne was harassing one of the hostesses, i was walking by but saw her looking at me, with that look in her eyes. I just went towards her, and I heard her saying to the guy that he should repeat what he just said in front of her husband, at this moment i understood and played the part. The guy just went out, telling me I was a lucky guy. From that day we started calling each other “honey” when she had someone in front of her being disrespectful. That was our code. She was a pretty girl, was in a couple, we were just colleagues, i just was her fake congress husband. ;-)
That one guy said you were failing to display dominance, and I have to say that I agree. I've been watching your channel for about a year now, and you consistently reason through the complexities of issues without resorting to easy "gotcha" arguments that fall apart on further examination. Your ability to eschew dominance for wisdom is one of the things I respect most about you.
I never understood why some people believe they can only get around being dominant in every aspect. I actually think living like that, makes living together with other people in a society, not only living together as a couple, very complicated over time.
@@alexanderkupke920 Usually it's because they're not in a great place and want to be someone that other people respect. They just picked a bad way to achieve that goal.
Dominance is the symptom of insecurity and weakness. Real toughness doesn't need to appear tough on the outside. I have to agree with u. Beau commands respect thru wisdom, not a facade of strength thru controlling others.
@@nikki41308 That very much summarizes I thought I had today. They make themself believe they are dominant and try to appear to the outside that way, but actually all they do is hiding their absolute incompetence to read other people, to competently interact socially with other people, or to simplify it, what dumb idiots they are. They need to have everything and everyone under their control, otherwise they would be meaningless with that mindset, like St Trollmore said. It is nothing but a very selfish or egocentric mindset, focused mostly on their own outside apperance. Everything supporting the own Supposed "greatness" is welcome. Anything else is stupid wrong looked down at and othered. Also thinking about some women in and around family in the past, which might at first glance fit into the tradwife role they like so much, but thinking back how many of those actually had been the ones in charge in a household and keeping all the household and finances together, which the men werent necessarily able to, those guys might be up to a surprise they don´t like. (Despite that the women were in control and otherwise the guys would have made it no further than the next bar with their sallary, this is still a role with so many restrictions of some sort, I think of as simply outdated today)
I will never understand these people talking about wanting a partner with low expectations and ambition but different strokes for different folks I guess.
"I want a 'traditional' 'submissive' wife. So I'm going to be a controlling dickhead to every woman I interact with until I find someone who complies." That bodes *extremely* well...
@@destroyraiden yeah, og as in "doesn't have a choice in the matter" not the new kind ala BDSM where it's just play and everyone's consenting because they couldn't handle that as it's an actualized adult person who understands themselves and what they want even when it means going against societal pressures to get it....which would (among other things) just remind them how incredibly insecure they are. (Also, there's no such thing as a low-maintenance bdsm submissive)
Couldn’t agree more with Beau. This 74 years young woman has always felt that if two people agree on EVERYTHING, one of them is unnecessary. I am in a wonderful loving relationship with a great guy that I’ve only known since I was 69. We celebrate our diversity every ever loving day.
@@deciduousrex1219 yeah, they've been incapable of actual conversation the past few years. Far as I remember it started when orange toddler started running for Führer. They switched into a weird language of whataboutisms, talking points, playground insults, and feigned ignorance, and haven't looked back since. 20 words, though? Most of them don't seem to have a vocabulary that big. If you can even call it a vocabulary, mostly it just seems to be regurgitating whatever they hear their betters say. Sort of like little children playing house and imitating their parents, only it's adults promoting fascism.
I've never known a truly strong, confident, high achieving man who felt the need to go around telling everyone he's an "alpha". And he never has the need to go around pulling manipulative moves to put others beneath him.
The number one thing I love about Beau is that he never gets riled by the assholes who message him. It must irritate them so much that they can’t provoke an angry response from him.
I think that's only half true. There are moments where you can see in his look, his facial muscles and his tone of voice that he does get angry. He's just not unloading his anger directly into the face of people that piss him off. Which, in itself, is an admirable trait, of course.
@@shadowcat1606 You're right, we've definitely seen videos of Beau where he is visibly holding back his anger. The thing is though, his anger is never with the individuals who send him these ignorant or insulting messages. Beau's anger is mostly with stuff like systemic injustice or society's intolerance or ignorance, for example those pushing this "alpha male" bullshit as some ideal to strive towards. His anger is with an unfair or biased game, not the players within that game, except if they're the ones that rigged it of course.
If you want to see Beau mad. Go to 7:20 and you will see angry and upset. When they called his background a "green scree" that hurt. And I know why it hurts. He has built that thing like 3 freeking times. Can you imagine going though all that effort to recreate that whole thing just for authenticity just to have it insulted as not being real! I would be pissed too.
They don't want a "trad wife"...they want someone who will take care of their every need without demands of their own. They want Mommy. They need to grow up, but never will. The other thing: I had no end of men that decided I was what they wanted. But they never considered whether they were what I wanted. They never were.
As a woman it is really scary to me this undercurrent of hate that is out there. I will never let myself to be in a position to be completely dependent on a man, because waaayyyy to many change when they get the upper hand. I remember watching my dad tell my mom she didn’t need basic clothing, a new bra, because she didn’t need to go out in the world(she was a stay at home mom). He also would get jealous of money my grandmother would give us so we kids could have clothes for school(he didn’t make enough to provide for us) and would use a portion of it for himself. He also at times had a second job, but that money was just for him though. Tough childhoods make for interesting people. Sometimes I wish I was less interesting, but wouldn’t change it because I like who I am.
I'm also scared by the amount of hate there is out there for people like me. People really seem to hate insecure, lost, men who haven;t had intimate relationships and for the life od me I can't fathom why. I think it's because deep down they're holding onto this masculine ideal of being totally confident and getting women easily Stay strong. It's hard but you can carve out a place for yourself in a world filled with hate :)
I had a father who was married to a mother who would stand up for herself but had no problem with him smacking two little girls around to prove what a big man he was. I married a very stupid man simply because he was big and strong enough to smack around my father if he tried to bully me. Not a great decision.
@@painunending4610you have to leave this circles of self proclaimed “alphas” and join the real world. Then you’ll realize you’re “normal”. Drop the act, and find something you LIKE to do. Everyone says Nerds don’t get layed, but I know several who met their wives around a D&D table, Renaissance festival or Comicon. I play an online game for 5 years, and there are many couples who met in game first, then in real life. Do what sparks your passion, and you might find someone who share your interests.
Years ago I used to be a bouncer. I can’t even count how many times women specifically asked for me to interrupt their dates. If you see these “alpha” men doing the types of things that they are criticizing, be willing to be that brand new best friend. You’ll save someone’s life.
👏👏👏 I would only go to a bar to relax after work if I knew the bartender or bouncer would be my safe person if needed. Thanks for helping keep the gals safe
@@thealienwatcher540 so Briffault's law basically says that short of rape a man can't have sex with a woman if she doesn't think she will enjoy it in some way. A statement that is equally true of men. "It takes two to tango," is a much better expression of this law. A woman who is not approached by a man and who, when approaching men, is rebuffed is experiencing the exact same problem, which would suggest that "where the male can derive no benefit from association with the female, no such association takes place." Hell, this is the real reason for Incels. They are not involuntary celibate, they are refusing to end their celibacy with willing women who don't meet their "standards." "Bettys," who are not rich supermodels and therefore not worthy of an Incel's time.
I laugh at those who call themselves "alphas", and everyone else "betas". In their minds, I'm sure they think they're owning everyone around them. Everyone around them is just laughing at them.
Regarding the "this never happens" response; for at least a few years there's been a campaign trying to spread the word among bartenders that if a patron asks if "Angela" is there or orders an "Angel Shot," it means they're in an unsafe situation and need discreet help. If these things never happened, there would be no need for that. Keep up the good work, Beau.
Guys like that expect women to just fall over themselves to marry them when they brag about having/offering the bare minimum... sometimes, not even that. It's sad.
It’s sad but that’s what society projects. Really rich men do that all the time and we put them on a pedestal. You see rich men going through wives, presumably because they truly have nothing to offer or someone can’t live up to someone’s expectations, and everyone thinks that’s pretty coo. They make entire shows dedicated to it and people watch it. WTF world so you live in.
Your story of the taxi driver reminded me of an event of my misspent youth in Manhattan in the 1980s. A man I met in my usual restaurant asked me to go with him to a popular discotheque. When we got in his car, he drove straight to the highway. We ended up in the empty Wall Street area. Horrified, I hopped out and walked in the opposite direction his car was facing so that he could not follow me. I knew that I would have a long walk late at night to get home. Within a few minutes a taxi stopped at a red light near me. I hopped in, startling the taxi driver. He was an "angel unaware" who safely drove me home.
They use it as a confidence crutch. Fake it til you make it and all that. That one silver bullet that will allow them free passage through all their troubles. Just need to keep blasting those morning motivational speeches and JP quotes. I should know... I was deluded enough to fall for it once. Funny shit is a few months after I let all that shit go, I started making friends and even scored a few dates. He's absolutely right. This whole Alpha PUA mentality is horseshit sold by master class con artists to naive confused and vulnerable people. Scary part is how easy it is to get sucked into. One bad experience creates a feedback loop that isolates you into these types of communities. The whole time I was in I thought I was hot shit but I was miserable.. on some level it makes me feel bad for these guys, but I still can't excuse their actions. Some of them take it way too far
I'd bet that if you asked Beau's kids, who's in charge. They'd say their mom. Alpha/Beta is dumb, but if we need to use those terms. A true Alpha would be fine with that. He'd be strong enough to know she's got this and appreciate that she choose him.
As much as I disagree with. This is one thing I will give him absolute credit for. Having healthy masculine traits. By what those types consider “Beta” I would be one as well. Broken, validation seekers. That’s all they are. Same as the “boss B” women.” Damn world full of emotionally 12yo people. “Bless their hearts.” 😂
What;s wrong with having delicate and fragile masculinity. Why do you expect all men to be strong all the time otherwise they're not real men? Why do you hate insecure men? I am insecure and fragile and damn proud of it. Knowing that you hate me fuels me to be the best version of myself
@@Mrnoddingdonkey so, you agree with the rest of us...but are stuck with a made up term like a child who hasn't learned sanitary habits yet. Have you learned how to wipe the ligma off your arse yet?
You are such an accomplished teacher, Beau! I am an elderly woman, hardly the target audience for this video, but I took a spectator’s pleasure in how you constructed this lesson.
I feel like any human trying to be a better human is in Beau’s target audience… Nice little story: awhile back Beau found out his videos has been used to de-radicalize people who typed in certain search terms were diverted to his videos. Pretty great. Had he known about it he would have supported it. He only found out about the program after it had been terminated. Some idiot went public with it so that put an end to it. think it went on for about a year. i’m fuzzy on the exact details, other peeps may know more
My dad who would’ve been 83 this year had a talk with me when I was considering dropping out of college for my boyfriend. He told me about one of his high school friends who quit college for her boyfriend. He ended with “Every time I see her she’s unhappy and you would be too”. My parents were married over 50 years.
I settled when my EX wanted to settle down. I gave up EVERYTHING. I can strongly agree that your dad was right on the money! Do you....the. add a partner to that. I promise it will work out better! If you have a BF/GF that won't wait and support you while you figure out how "you" is, then they aren't right for you in the longrun.
@@Pamlandy2 I didn’t drop everything to marry my ex. I did try to be what he wanted me to be. It nearly broke me. The day he said “I bring home money, don’t drink or beat you”, I knew it was over. Took a few years but I got out. My current spouse is great!
I thought that was just being a competent adult human being. I know I'm lucky to have good examples in my life--my dad's a better cook than my mum, actually, since he'd worked part-time in a restaurant when he was younger. I don't know why I'm still surprised when I see yet another guy insisting that they want to get coddled even through adulthood. I shouldn't be surprised by the letters Beau is reading out loud, and yet here I am, watching in disbelief.
Heinlein said something like "A human being should be able to build a structure, butcher a hog, cook a tasty meal, plan an invasion, change a diaper, bind a wound, fight bravely and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." I'm sure I missed a few and notice he didn't restrict the list to one gender. Granted, I can't butcher a hog and my military experience didn't include actual combat but I have the rest of the list (planned an invasion at war college).
I do wish that many men could learn that toughness does not imply violence or cruelty. Toughness avoids these and means compassion first. This is true masculinity.
But for some men, trapped in the darkness of misogyny, might be the only light they get. Surprisingly enough of them watch and commented on this channel to get this follow up video
Easy way to tell if you're an "alpha:" Do you walk around exclaiming you're an alpha or feel the need to prove you're an alpha? If "yes:" You're not one.
Your last sentence says it all: they have low expectations for themselves and thereby need a doormat they can trample on so they can bolster their egos. Their idea of Alpha: needing someone to subjugate so I myself can feel significant.
Thank goodness my parents, especially my father, taught me not allow anyone else to control me. These guys are the ones that are going to end up lonely and alone. Women no longer have to stay with sub par men because they need his paycheck.
Yup and that’s why these manosphere types are usually far-right lunatics. They realize the only way to “attract” a woman is to take their rights away so they have no other choice. Or they could just change their personality and drop this PUA crap, but I guess that’s far less likely.
Unfortunately, these guys are already lonely and alone… This is how they initially lash out… The scary thing is that they have unfettered access to firearms…
My Dad, a father of girls, told us he would provide us college educations because he did not want us to be dependent upon anyone. He had seen his mother struggle after his father died young and experienced the German alpha male who became his stepfather.
Yes, thankfully women do have more of a choice these days. A divorce may plunge them into poverty but that's better than staying in a miserable marriage. Unless the man that believes "if I can't have her nobody can". And there are still a lot of those around. So many news stories about a guy killing his wife and sometimes the kids too because his wife wanted out. Maybe that's an alpha reaction? I know some women also kill their partners, but I wonder what the statistics are for women doing it compared to men. If I remember correctly the number 1 cause of death in pregnant women is murder by a partner.
Unfortunately, these guys are also the ones who join far right groups because they offer simple answers for complicated questions. They assign blame on an Other that these guys can heap all their frustrations on. Leftists of all stripes need to peel themselves out of the corners of Twitter and counteract these harmful messages. There are plenty of good male role models of the progressive variety that can definitely reach these guys.
Some folk, like the guy who originally wrote to Beau, realize that they can become a better person through humility and compassion, also known as "growing up". And then there's the guy who can only say "beta" every second because that's the new "nerd" or something.
I'm 57 and went to university and was a professional computer programmer. My mother taught me to be a programmer like she was. She made more money than my step-father who was a professor. My step-mother worked as a manager for the state making more money than my father who was also a professor. Both my mother and step-mother were born in the mid 1930s, got college degrees, and were professionals. It's been going on for a long time.
Real men don’t go around using words like alpha and beta to describe themselves or others. They don’t try to manipulate or put others down to make themselves feel better. Instead, they actually try to uplift others and be a positive role model. They’re honest and considerate in their interactions because they know that’s the key to genuine relationships. A foundation of lies will ultimately crumble. Real men see real women and know that they’re people too, with their own feelings, hopes, dreams, worries, sorrows, regrets, problems, solutions, ideas and everything else just as they do. They are deserving of the same respect and consideration as anyone else. Side note: It’s actually kind of cringe to say “real man” and claim what a “real man” is, but I felt it was warranted in this instance since it’s aimed at self-proclaimed “alpha males”. Speaking of which, an actual alpha, if anything, is a parent who leads, protects and provides comfort for their family. In other words, they don’t aim to dominate or make others feel uncomfortable.
At the risk of not being a real man... If you say you are an Alpha or Omega, you are a Beta. If some thought leader has taught you to describe yourself as a greek letter and you slavishly follow their instructions on how to be a leader, you are a follower.
My experience in indoctrination at college was being exposed to people of different countries, different cultures, and different experiences. I don't see that as a bad thing.
All I can say is kudos to the original guy who messaged you for realizing he had to break away from this trash, toxic, and dangerous (to others) mentality.
When asked about my wife and why we married. I can explain how much she has added to my life. She's quiet, but she is smart. She has a very dry humor, but when she throws a joke out it's not only funny it makes you think. If loving her, if supporting her, makes me a beta male. Oh well. As to why she married me. She once told me I never questioned her goals and have always supported her. She also says it's because I'm so much cuter in the morning.😍🤔
I tell my husband of 45+ years that I married him because he's the best man on earth. He tells me he married me because he'd never be bored and that I could have done much better than marrying him. The truth is we suit and we're both stubborn as hell and remain madly in love with each other. He's still the lively, gallant man I married and I am still the cutest fluffy bunny he married - despite both of us being retired, old, gnarled, gravely debilitated and grey.
@@kayallen7603 you are so blessed. That sounds like my husband and me… except that I lost him after only 40 years. 😢 I wish you and your husband many, many more happy, healthy years together. ❤
Sooo true. When I was dating I would let prospective dates know up front that I had a decree, was independent financially, etc. I said it in a way not to brag but just to get the data across. MANY of them would just walk away. That worked for me because I did not want to waste time with a person who wanted a "TRAD" female. Sometimes the "RED" flag was the initial controlling behavior (subtle at first). Then I walked away. I am currently married to a great guy and we are both retired. We found each other later in life. We are partners. We do not NEED each other, we are friends, equals and respectful of each others accomplishments, etc. Definitely worth the wait. One other thing to the females, YOU cannot FIX these guys. Walk away!
I couldn't help but think of my Mom when Beau was describing his wife. She was a Captain (during WW2) and an RN, and anything but traditional. She had an independent streak that never quit. The love of my life is also a nurse.
I grew up in a family of independent men and women. I've seen a lot of guys that are scared of such women. I never have been. I welcome them. I encouraged my daughters to be and they are. Both are happily married, one with kids and the other has one on the way. I have no fear for those children's futures. They will thrive, whatever the world becomes.
I married in the late 1980's, my wife stayed at home and provided care for our child. It was about the third year of marriage I realized that my wife would become depressed or challenged with feelings about her own internal value. It was at this point I understood that I was seen by her as a vehicle for her experiential worth. I encouraged her to return to university and pursue her own passions. And Beau, it was a way to avoid the GIF, or as you say, "a JPEG that moves". My motivation was not purely selfless, it was also to avoid after ten years of marriage, my wife would possibly become quite resentful. Women are people, too! It all boils down to this simple axiom.
Being an “alpha” is never about grace, manners, education, self restraint or real confidence. It’s about a perception- it’s a facade and if anyone challenges it, you fight them and take their woman (because she will love that). So if you identify as an alpha, we are laughing at you.
My grandfather served in the Alamo Scouts in WWII. behind enemy lines in the pacific. Rubber boat from submarine type special forces style (they weren't called that back then). Yeah... He'd laugh at these "alpha guys" then hold the door open for any woman or man. Politest person you've ever met. He'd ask what she wanted for dinner, or to drink. And move heaven and earth to get it for her. If she wanted to pay, well, he was old fashioned enough to offer, and smart enough to let her, if she wanted. So called "alphas" could really learn a lot from the generation they claim to want to emulate.
I had many marriage proposals that I turned down. I got they wanted me to marry and commit to them, but never got that they wanted to marry and commit to me. I was a good catch for them, they were not a good catch for me. Worse, they decide in about ten minutes and get offended if you aren't grateful to upend your good life when you don't even know them.
@@alexiswinter6948 A coworker explained to me that he needed someone to help make his mortgage payment to save his house; when I declined he found someone who would. I had my own mortgage to support with my own home equity to preserve. To give up my hard-earned financial stability for a stranger's financial benefit seemed weird to me.
Once ,long ago, after a big blow up with my wife, my father gave me some advice. He said that if two people agree on everything all the time, one of them is not necessary. Good words to keep in mind in any relationship, I've found.
In a reality where insecure men feel like they have to classify each other with names like Alpha and Beta.. Real men live and enjoy life, they dont waste their time comparing themselves. Genuine confidence is a quiet thing that never has to be bragged about. Being disrespectful and controlling of your partner just announces on loudspeaker how small minded and insecure a guy is.
People who like to call themselves "alpha males" really should look at some of Jane Goodall's old chimpanzee footage. The kind of desperate insecurity and attention-seeking they'd see in those dominant males is downright embarrassing, and it isn't hard to see it reflected in human dominance strategies.
Exactly. Most so called alpha males are fragile egos that think being domineering is strength when it shows lack of ability to accept people as they are. You can be strong with good manners and thoughtfulness and consideration for other human beings and be a great leader. If you are a macho blowhard you may get obedience but little respect and rarely real love. Bossing isn’t strength. It’s bullying. Most women don’t like macho men because their psyche is too fragile. If you demand obedience check why your ego requires it. It’s not alpha- it’s inability to see and respect the other person out of fear of losing face - kind of sad.
"All my dating moves are based on observing wolves in captivity". I feel like if this is true for people and they admitted that proudly when making a date with someone, it would save everyone a lot of trouble in advance.
Why cant people just treat their partner like their best friend? Works for me, and been working for 30+ years for my parents and most of their friends. If your partner is your best friend and you communicate with them as an equal there’s usually very little to worry about.
Priblem is, they don't want a friend -- they want a whore* in tbe bedrikm, and a mommy everywhere else. *Absolutely no disrespect to sex workers. It's how these little 'alpha' boys think of them.
This comment really needs a lot more eyes on it. I'm so over all the differing role crap. Just be a good human/best friend, that it's. That's literally it.
These overgrown children will never have a true partner -- they're looking for a sex slave/cook/housekeeper that they can dump for a new model when they get tired of her. Until they actually grow up and become adult men, they will have nothing more than a series of 'conquests' (most of which will be complete fantasy) to brag about with their equally childish friends.
@@b.a.d.2086 You and @robrod7120 are the few lucky. It doesn't work like that for everyone. You should read Briffault's Law: Women Rule for you to understand. It gives a perfect explanation. Women wield the ultimate veto power in the mating game. It is women who give thumbs-up or thumbs-down to any advances or proposals from men. Briffault embellishes this truism by asserting that intimate relationships between men and women result from a calculated cost/benefit analysis by women. Will she or won’t she acquire a net gain from any relationship with the man? This does not necessarily mean monetary gain, although it mostly does. Other types of gain might be social status, sexual compatibility, anticipated future happiness, emotional security, and the male’s capacity for fatherhood. Even though a woman has accrued past benefits from her relationship with a man, this is no guarantee of her continuing the relationship with him. (Translation: What have you done for me lately?), If a woman promises a man to continue her relationship with him in the future in exchange for a benefit received from him today, her promise becomes null and void as soon as the benefit is rendered. (“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.“), A man’s promise of a future benefit has limited ability to secure a continuing relationship with a woman, and his promise carries weight with her only to the extent that the woman’s wait for the benefit is short and to the extent that she trusts him to keep his promise
OMG. I remember friends/family pushing that whole PUA thing to me. I always felt so cringe-y using those kind of tricks, but I still used them because I was lonely and thought it would work. I ended up just being a total jerk to some awesome women who didn't deserve it. I was a toxic mess because I was trying so hard to be the image of masculine they portray as the ideal. But like you suggested in the previous video, I spent some time figuring out me. Things got a lot better after I did that. I met my wife when I knew a l lot more about who I was, and what I wanted from life. I cringe at the old me daily, and try to make up for the harm I caused. My wife and I try to chuckle that I've become the trad wife I always wanted. Thanks for the videos about this. I really wish I could have watched them when I was in my 20s. Would have saved me a lot of headache.
Best dating advice I ever got was from my best friend. She told me this, "Before you even think about having a relationship with another person you have to be comfortable with your own company. That means liking spending time with yourself. It's simple, if you don't enjoy being around you why would someone else." Then work on becoming what you want to attract, character wise.
Sad and lonely? How many kids has Beau got? And he is happily married. I remember his explaining what his wife had to do during the pandemic when she got home. Beau washed her clothes for her to keep infection out of the house.
The idea that anyone would call Mrs Beau a stay at home horse wife or trad wife is beyond hilarious. Lady was out there as a nurse putting herself at risk during peak pandemic while Beau was the one at home putting out videos
One of the insults that the message writer threw at you was about you being old "a.f." I laughed so hard at that. I've been following your channel for several years and although I might not agree with every single word that you say, you still have taught me a whole lot.....and I'm probably old enough to be the grandfather of your children, yet I don't think of myself as old as f*ck.....because I am still enthusiastic about learning new things.
I've worked construction and machine shop (I know, I don't look it.) And the things men will say among each other when they think a woman isn't paying attention is pretty shocking. They weren't all 'bad' guys or consider themselves 'alphas' and some were even really good involved fathers. On the other hand, they weren't exactly prizes. The thing that stood out the most was how selfish a lot of them were, some might say 'self centered.' So, yes, I ended up having high expectations and I've told my dad (a former boss) he, and his good example of being a good man, is why I have these high expectations. And a big start is to find a man who doesn't value their worth by outside things. Outside things can be taken away, and even health can go without warning. This has been an interesting series.
The amazing thing is that they've convinced themselves that this is what women actually want. Or, well, they let themselves be convinced of it by dirtbags like Andrew Tate.
I agree. You should read Briffault's Law: Women Rule. It gives a perfect explanation. Women wield the ultimate veto power in the mating game. It is women who give thumbs-up or thumbs-down to any advances or proposals from men. Briffault embellishes this truism by asserting that intimate relationships between men and women result from a calculated cost/benefit analysis by women. Will she or won’t she acquire a net gain from any relationship with the man? This does not necessarily mean monetary gain, although it mostly does. Other types of gain might be social status, sexual compatibility, anticipated future happiness, emotional security, and the male’s capacity for fatherhood. Even though a woman has accrued past benefits from her relationship with a man, this is no guarantee of her continuing the relationship with him. (Translation: What have you done for me lately?), If a woman promises a man to continue her relationship with him in the future in exchange for a benefit received from him today, her promise becomes null and void as soon as the benefit is rendered. (“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.“), A man’s promise of a future benefit has limited ability to secure a continuing relationship with a woman, and his promise carries weight with her only to the extent that the woman’s wait for the benefit is short and to the extent that she trusts him to keep his promise
Yeah the bar for a "good date" for some of thee guys is so low that "he didn't hurt her" qualifies as "a good date". Just wow. I guess "he didn't kill her" would be still in the realm of an "okay date"... LOL
Geez, that certainly brings up memories of disastrous dates and then later having to keep ‘shooing’ the a$$hole away and having to call a LEO while he’d wonder aloud about what was wrong w me….
Not just captive wolves in an artificial environment, but JUVENILE wolves in a captive environment that act out as bullies because of fear. (I've been following Mech's work since 1993/1994).
Oh, that makes it sound more like Lord of the Flies than real life behaviour. I recently watched a nature documentary where a wildlife videographer was filming wolves on Baffin Island. After weeks of determining he was neither prey nor predator, they left him to babysit the cubs while the whole pack went to take down a muskox. He felt honoured.
One of my favourite definitions of “alpha” is to use the one from software development - it’s buggy, lacks a whole lot of features and just can’t do a whole lot of what the complete package can do. To the guy asking how to get a good woman, the answer is to be good enough. The complete package - smart, funny, self-confident (as opposed to arrogant - which is what the alpha program teaches), kind, thoughtful and most importantly… interested in her as a person, not as a conquest or a future spouse. Pretty much the opposite of what those “alpha” courses teach.
I think "confident" is reallllllllly over-hyped. Confident is like a neutral trait to me and adds nothing. Vulnerable is where it's at. Not everyone isn't funny either and that's also ok. Nothing wrong with serious.
@@denisekeeran9883 true… but people who are able to laugh (especially at themselves) are usually more functional individuals than people who can’t. As far as confidence goes, I don’t mean arrogant or cocky or any of the other personality traits that the idiots who teach there alpha courses try to instil in the poor kids they are ripping off. That is not confidence. Confidence is being able to take rejection without becoming angry. Being able to function when plans go awry. The ability to be spontaneous, to have fun in the moment. To not feel intimidated if your date is more successful, more intelligent, has seen more of the world than you, understands something better than you. Confident is the opposite of the guy who says “you will not embarrass me”.
I'm truly heartened, that so many of these "Alpha men" are watching Beau and taking the time to interact with him and the other "Betas" etcétera, hopefully it shows that they are nearly ready to take that first step on the road to self discovery. I did say hope.
The way that Beau talks about his wife - and I wish we had a pseudonym for her rather than just Mrs Beau because I'm sure he's just as much Mr "Beau's Wife" as she is Mrs Beau - THAT is what women want. They want someone who actually respects them, and recognises their accomplishments, intelligence and humanity. Someone who doesn't talk over them, doesn't treat them like a possession, and who actually supports them. Not some controlling "alpha" who thinks women are objects and possessions.
Beau's far from a "beta" male. From his own words, he sounds as if he supports her ambitions and dreams and accomplishments, cherishes her as a living, breathing person, appreciates who she is outside of being "Missus Fifth Column" but will defend and protect her (and the family they have built) without hesitation. That's not beta behavior; that's what men should aspire to be like.
"don't embarrass me" is a thing that many DV survivors hear early and often when being groomed by their abuser. usually not in the first date. some are actually good at being charming in the beginning. but they all seem to be using the same playbook. unsurprisingly its very similar to the alpha beta brain rot.
I would be surprised if most PUA/"Alpha" types who got married *didn't* turn to violence to maintain control. I imagine that, other than being raised in an abusive household, PUA/"Alpha" teachings would be the #1 cause of abusive behavior.
Wow... I experienced a version of this weird machismo man thing when I was first dating, which was also laced with a unique brand of racism (ya know just for funzies... *Please read sarcasm there*). I thought it was bizarre at the time (15 years ago) and I kept trying the dating thing. Not too many days after that 1st "red flag" date, I experienced another bad date that went from "uncomfortable" to "terrifying" real quick, just as Beau had said in the earlier video. Fortunately, I was able to walk away from both those dates safely but definitely all the wiser about how someone can seem like a "nice guy" until you are on a date with them and they start trying to "structure" the whole thing for you. No one got physically hurt, and I'm sure my dates left thinking that everything was normal on their end. I'm so grateful I met my husband soon after from my dating experiences, but it's creepy and scary to think back at those bad dates prior to my husband and realize how bad things could have turned out before I ever had the chance to meet him. To be honest, for many years following those experiences, I had thought those "nice guys" were just random and weird occurrences... (I know, I was naive when I started dating). However, as I matured, I began to understand what real good men actually look like. In my opinion, a real man is not threatened by a strong partner, and yes, he will be challenged by his partner. They will challenge each other. In fact, each will be stronger because of it and learn how to grow together through those challenges. A man who wants some submissive picture-perfect doll who doesn't have a voice... doesn't really say much about his own fortitude - rather a lack thereof.
Beau, I've been a fan for a couple of years now and these two dating videos are some of your finest work. You call out the issues without insulting the individual, yet at the same time holding them responsible. You clearly explain how a healthy relationship evolves. Here's to high expectations! Thank you for being a feminist and helping to educate some of the men who have been sucked into the MRA vortex.
It took me a minute to figure out the trad wife thing, but now it all makes sense... they're so intellectually and emotionally lazy they can't even say they have to abbreviate what they're looking for. Gee, that must feel great to know the guy who wants you without knowing anything about you can't even be bothered to refer to you as anything other than an abbreviated bro code. Ladies, take care.
@@havable But the minimum is 15 pieces of flair...sorry for the Office Space reference, but you're right. It's insulting. It doesn't seem to cross their narrow minds that women are human beings too. Here's hoping they can evolve.
I Already love your wife, And her saying is funny but true lol Been married 40+ years to a man that not only loves me; he has always respectful and “never has hit below” the belt during an argument, arguments open doors for problems, he supported my college aspirations, my career, has always helped with the house, stepped up to cooking when I was too tired, supported my hobbies, volunteer work etc. and the times I chose not to work And we raised 4 boys!
![[Live] : ONE 169 วันนี้!! "อนาโตลี vs อูมาร์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IK3YZVWuFJg/mqdefault.jpg)
Imagine calling Beau a "beta male."
The guy who goes into the projects after a hurricane with a chain saw and some baby formula. Literally more heroic than the stars of most disaster movies
Amen.
This. ^
Real men don’t need a label and don’t care what labelers call them.
I don't always agree with Beau, sometimes I vehemently disagree. (Not on this topic, he's dead on) But he is ANYTHING but a beta male. I learn from him even when I disagree. Dude should be running this shit. I'd follow him into hell.
Dunning-Kruger is a helluva drug... 😞, and those sending in these messages are at a near self-lethal dose.
It's so sad when some guy who's likely single calls a married guy a "beta male" and tells him he'll "always be lonely" when he's happily married. That's sorta pathetic honestly.
*Some guy whose dates likely signal strangers for help
My thought on this video, we know Beau is married, I'm like how is he alone? Lol
These guys are the very DEFINITION of pathetic.
@@katatonikone6232 because he’s not only a beta, but a ligma too.
@@Mrnoddingdonkey what?
I just want to say I have heard "structured time" in only one other context before:
It was describing a period of time where elementary school kids would be given time to play within the confines of what was available in the classroom. The intent was literally "some freedom but not so much you lose control of them".
Describing a date with a fully grown adult woman as "structured time" really tells me what kind of a person you are.
I've been a much happier person since I realized I could just refer to "alpha's" as "douchebag's".
You can do it without the apostrophe.
I didn't want to be that person, but yes, that's not where an apostrophe is used.
Yep. It's just a lie they tell themselves ... it doesn't even exist.
They prefer to be called Incel Americans.
I have personally found that supposed 'alpha's' tend to be the most beta of all. I don't believe in the whole alpha /beta crap, but if there was any truth, an alpha doesn't need to talk about being an alpha, they know they are and what they can do. Like the giant dog that is super mellow and gentle until a threat appears, as opposed to the little dog that barks at every shadow.
All I knew about Beau's wife before this video was that she's an RN, but the moment that message implied they thought she's a passive 'tradwife' I started laughing because I work with nurses. There are, of course, a variety of personality types in every career, but it's unwise to assume someone who is willing to care for wounds, remove sutures, assist patients bigger than they are in and out of bed, change catheters and IV lines, etc. is a docile and delicate creature who lets their partner make all the rules.
Not to mention restraining the occasional unruly patient.
Yeah, anybody who expects a freaking nurse to be a submissive doormat is too dumb to live and will richly deserve it when a pack of offended nurses tear him to small, bloody shreds (only verbally if he's very, very lucky) Do these types seriously expect that somebody who will day after day go and work with kids with terminal cancer or dementia patients who lose a bit of themselves each day because their patients need them will be impressed by their silly attempts at "showing dominance"?
Not to mention risking their lives to care for people during a pandemic. Many of whom treat their saviors with disrespect and hatred. It's called dedication and compassion.
Not to mention having to put up with a lot of beurocratic stress from our disfunctional medical system and "medical" businesses that tend to prioritize $$ over quality patient care. This comes up as poor salaries, being understaffed, unstable work schedules, etc. You have to have a lot of personal drive and dedication towards your patients to keep working under those conditions. The system as it is set up now depends on being able to exploit this empathetic work ethic.
I have experienced this second hand through my partner for 10 years and now her daughter.
Truth. I’ve witnessed a nurse go up against a man literally twice her size. He backed down.
I am a 68-y.o. guy, and never wanted a "trad. wife" even back in the 1970s-80s. Sweet Jeebus, in the post Vietnam War era, a lot of us saw the 1950s and 60s, as why the country was so messed up. I found my wife in grad school, and found her intellectually stimulating these last 40 years. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Beau is the literal example of what it means to be a man. He focuses his strength on helping others and his community, not to hurt or control others.
Fact.
Right? Beau seems to be a good example of a "real man"; he appears self assured, secure, kind, compassionate...in other words, not a "dick".
yup
I'd have beers and bongs with Beau any day
@@Hysteric_Subjects he’s a ligma though
Here's the trick to getting into a lasting, meaningful relationship: treat her like she's a human being - because she is one. That's it.
If you've noticed, those types of guys treat women like they're a completely different and lowly species.
Thank you! From a woman
This is the one my parents use and they've been married for almost 40 years now lol.
That’s about as useful as “use salt for a better taste”. Technically right but far from enough.
Key addition here, if you don't mind: Treating your crush in like a fellow human being an equal does NOT constitute courtship in its own right. Instead it is the most fundamental requirement for dating to even be considered. Then comes the hard part. Relaxing in her company and being able to read your own feelings about her and be true to those.
The whole time that guy was talking about how you have a tradwife stay at home horse mom, I was sitting there thinking "Wait, isn't Beau's wife a registered nurse? I could have sworn he said she was working frontline in the pandemic..."
I wasn't remembering wrong, that guy just never listened to a word you've ever said about her and made up a fantasy in his head. Good gods.
He may be a new viewer that didn’t hear about Beau’s wife being an RN during the pandemic. His audience has grown so much. That being said, I had the same thoughts, “Isn’t she an RN? She does have a career and is likely a force to be reckoned with. This fool just stepped in it”.
I believe she's a retired RN who went back to work during the pandemic when her old boss asked. Not sure if she's still doing that now.
@@sassenachdragon more like he just stepped on a Bouncing Betty. Time for him to kiss his legs, ass and thinking organs goodbye... :P
Prior to that, she had some sort of crazy hard core job that was something akin to running a military ICU or something like that. Sounds like a total rockstar to me.
"Made up a fantasy in his head" is EXACTLY what those guys do.
I am that "trad wife". I loved being a homemaker. I was good at it. 30 years later, he wanted to know why I wasn't contributing "my share", demanded I get a job, spent our life savings to buy a derelict yacht, filed for divorce two days before Christmas, and has effectively *ruined* my life because, despite not being able to pick up his own socks without needing a round of applause, he thinks he's going to sail around the world with his new girlfriend.
He's going to get away with it too, because the judge thinks my disabled ass can get a job and build a career; a whole, brand new life, including retirement income, I guess - beginning in my 50s. And my story isn't even new or interesting - it's a cliche.
Being a "trad wife" is just too risky, even if she wants to be, boys. You'd best resign yourself to the idea that a woman isn't something you are entitled to and start learning better now, because we're probably not going to allow our daughters to end up like we did.
That's horrible. What state are you living in that doesn't give a damn about you? I'd like to avoid it in the future.
😧😔
@@chrisdonovan8795 Don't worry, you already know it, for sure. I like to call it "landlocked Florida."
@@TruCat willing to bet it is too, or a Bible Belt State.
@@TruCat Ma'am I'm sorry to hear this. Im blessed with my Mrs of 63yrs. She was Called to be a RN. But there's no shame if one chooses to be at home full time too. Your Ex is unworthy of being referred to as a Man. Prayers n God Bless Caitlin.
Moved by how clearly Beau respects his wife and is proud of her. Such a contrast to the people writing the messages.
Almost every man can have that experience. They just have to be open to having feelings. Unfortunately, American culture has been about dominance for hundreds of years. You can clearly see it in MAGA Cult culture, where the men are certain that women are the weaker of the species, in every way, and women should be at home birthing men's babies.
But now, this intersection of Q-nutz, MAGA, and INCEL is turning domination of women to hatred of women. Although this causes much pain for American women, the GREAT news is Q/MAGA/INCEL is going to work itself out in a Darwinian fashion on one generation. If men become too stupid to get laid, then those men do not get to breed the next generation of Q-nutz, MAGA, and INCEL.
I had a work friend once who would stand in our group and continually bash his wife. Day after day, I listened to his drivel, and finally I stopped him. I told him that everyone here who had seen him with his wife, including me, knew how desperately he loved her and to cut the crap. Bashing his wife was only tearing his marriage apart, whether she heard him say these things or not, and it is disloyal. He looked surprised, everyone laughed and agreed. He must have thought about it, because thereafter, we only heard how wonderful she was. I know he was only trying to prove he was alpha, but it had had the opposite effect and it had hurt his credibility.
@@e-spy virtually EVERY guy who claims he's an alpha and throws around the term "beta" as an insult, does not qualify for the term.....
Beau's analogy of the Head and Neck is a perfect example of the partnership that a marriage should be between two people that love and respect each other.
@@timhyatt9185 And life is not a hierarchy, it's a mandala. The sooner the human species gets that, the better off we'll be.
"I want a woman with low expectations" WHAT A TELL!!!!!
Definite self-own!
Reminds me of a Twitter screenshot I saw recently on Quora where one of these types insisted that the female orgasm doesn't exist because he'd had sex with many women and had never seen one reach it. The first answer on the screenshot was "waterboarding wouldn't have gotten that admission out of me!" :P
What's wrong with that? Low expectations are easier to meet. Why wouldn;t you want to make things easy?
My expectations for a relationship are very low. All I want is for her to be nice for me. They're low because that's incredibly rare
@@painunending4610 It would be okay if he also had low expectations. But you know this dude wants a woman who looks like she's straight out of an ad and takes care of all the parts of life he doesn't like.
@@painunending4610 The first thing about my husband that drew me to him is that he talked and listened to me like a person who genuinely wanted to know who I am, and wanted me to know whe he is.
Then came the work of figuring out if together we could use love, strength, tolerance, and mutual respect to make it work long term. Are we consistently nice to each other? Nope, we're only human. Setting aside one's ego and sincerely apologizing is a good ingredient in any relationship.
We met in 1990, married in 1993. So far, so good.
"Nice for me."
That's about as vague and useless a metric as you can give someone as regards your expectations. Plus, your last line indicates that your expectation isn't even low to begin with.
Besides; the comment wasn't about your expectations; it was about HER expectations. If you want a partner that has low expectations, you must not think very much of yourself.
One of the most important things that my grandfather ever told me, when I was a little girl, was, "Any guy who thinks his manhood's threatened by his woman's accomplishments ain't got no manhood to begin with." In case you're wondering if he was a "Beta", he was a decorated sailor in the US Navy who served with distinction in combat in WWII.
Yup. Real men in any age have never been afraid of strong women. It's only been the man children desperately needing to posture to prop up their fragile egos who feel threatened and let themselves be consumed by envy and jealousy just because some of the competition happens to have breasts instead of a dick to measure theirs against.
Even as what being a man means changes over time, that truth remains constant.
But trumpiots (not patriots as they believe themselves to be ) would absolutely call him a beta male because they saw a meme , played a violent video game and watched some porn so now they're battle hardened.
Men of quality aren't threatened by women of equality.
Same - My dad was a Korean War vet who served aboard diesel subs. The man was so tough, Chuck Norris probably asked him for pointers. Nicest, most caring man ever. He taught me to respect myself as a human being & to not to take crap from anyone who would treat me (or anyone) as "lesser".
It is all about self confidence.
If you have accomplishments, reasons to be proud of yourself, you can date a woman who makes 6 figures and not feel inferior. You can be with a doctor, lawyer, corporate executive, and still feel secure in your manhood.
But if you are not learning new things and growing, not helping other people, not making something of yourself, then even if you are not living in your mom's basement literally, you are doing so figuratively.
At that point a woman with accomplishments, or even the agency to someday have accomplishments, is above you. So you have to tear a woman down, beat her down, so she can't be "better," than you because if she is better than you she will leave you.
You can never have a woman worth having because you are shit and know it. That is what Tate fans are.
Beau's Wife's Husband gives good advice
I'm an old Curmudgeonly fart, 90. Been married 63 yrs,happily. One of my old favorite TV shows is George Burns n Gracie Allen. In the very 1st episode? George is doing an opening monologs. My Favorite line as he introduces the new show n Gracie,,then himself? He says "You may recognize me. IM GRACIE ALLENS Husband!" (FYI, she ran for president in early 40s. Against Roosevelt. She actually got near 50,000 write in votes! Her political party was called "The Surprise Party". 😉
Perfectly stated!
@@alphaomega5909 That is wild. I just looked it up and the whole thing is just totally off the charts insane. “ everybody knows a woman is better than a man when it comes to introducing bills into the house.” & other funny campaign speeches were given. The mascot was the kangaroo and it’s motto was “it’s in the bag. Just a few of the funny tidbits, I found on Wikipedia.
@@DEIDREROG See,, she played the Ditz. But in real life was a Brilliant comedienne. If you want read George's book on her, their career,life. Titled "Why? I Love Her That's Why!" .
@@DEIDREROG Oh most all the TV episodes or most on TH-cam in full. #VOTEforGRACIE.😉
Amazing! I am officially now "old as f***"! I think back to the first time I rescued a woman in distress; it was summer of 1970, she was sitting in a booth across from me in a little diner, made eye contact and I realized she was uncomfortable, so I used the "wow, it's been so long since I've seen you" intro, paid both bills and walked her out and got her safely on her way. It was just a thing that felt right. I've had the opportunity to do similar actions since; now at 74 years old I am anything but lonely, I have a beautiful family who care for me, many friends of all genders, and continue with my interesting life. I'm just trying to help those around me have as good a life as mine. It costs me nothing that I can't afford, and it brings me great pleasure to see others thrive. I expect to continue my "beta" ways for several more years, without the stress of being an "alpha" I'm sure to continue to live long and prosper.
Thanks for this "just a thought"; it makes me feel validated.
My brother-in-law once told my husband that he was glad he didn't get the mouthy one. To which my husband said " It's OK I'm man enough to handle it "
Your husband has a sense of humor and can think on his feet. I like that.
You are a lucky woman who chose well ❤️ Kudos to you both!
Love it!
Nice. It's sad that some of these guys think it's all manly to squash and control a woman instead of being man enough to handle a real partner.
I'm so sorry your poor sister had to settle for second best. ; )
To add to the nobody does that, i can add my own story. I worked as an IT guy on professional events like medical congresses. Usually my client organized the congress, and hired a team of hostesses, myself to take care of IT things onsite… well one evening, the congress was closing, and a doctor who probably had a bit too much champagne was harassing one of the hostesses, i was walking by but saw her looking at me, with that look in her eyes. I just went towards her, and I heard her saying to the guy that he should repeat what he just said in front of her husband, at this moment i understood and played the part. The guy just went out, telling me I was a lucky guy.
From that day we started calling each other “honey” when she had someone in front of her being disrespectful. That was our code.
She was a pretty girl, was in a couple, we were just colleagues, i just was her fake congress husband. ;-)
May you be blessed, honey❤
You're awesome. Thanks for caring.
What a lovely important story. Thank you, we all need people like you in our life.
Awe, a real man! We see you.
We woman love you. May your spouse be as brilliant as you!
That one guy said you were failing to display dominance, and I have to say that I agree. I've been watching your channel for about a year now, and you consistently reason through the complexities of issues without resorting to easy "gotcha" arguments that fall apart on further examination. Your ability to eschew dominance for wisdom is one of the things I respect most about you.
Wisdom is the strongest muscle and the most difficult to develope.
I never understood why some people believe they can only get around being dominant in every aspect. I actually think living like that, makes living together with other people in a society, not only living together as a couple, very complicated over time.
@@alexanderkupke920 Usually it's because they're not in a great place and want to be someone that other people respect. They just picked a bad way to achieve that goal.
Dominance is the symptom of insecurity and weakness. Real toughness doesn't need to appear tough on the outside. I have to agree with u. Beau commands respect thru wisdom, not a facade of strength thru controlling others.
@@nikki41308 That very much summarizes I thought I had today. They make themself believe they are dominant and try to appear to the outside that way, but actually all they do is hiding their absolute incompetence to read other people, to competently interact socially with other people, or to simplify it, what dumb idiots they are. They need to have everything and everyone under their control, otherwise they would be meaningless with that mindset, like St Trollmore said. It is nothing but a very selfish or egocentric mindset, focused mostly on their own outside apperance. Everything supporting the own Supposed "greatness" is welcome. Anything else is stupid wrong looked down at and othered.
Also thinking about some women in and around family in the past, which might at first glance fit into the tradwife role they like so much, but thinking back how many of those actually had been the ones in charge in a household and keeping all the household and finances together, which the men werent necessarily able to, those guys might be up to a surprise they don´t like. (Despite that the women were in control and otherwise the guys would have made it no further than the next bar with their sallary, this is still a role with so many restrictions of some sort, I think of as simply outdated today)
"You don't want a traditional wife, you want a .jpeg that moves."
Spot on, Beau. Spot on.
I will never understand these people talking about wanting a partner with low expectations and ambition but different strokes for different folks I guess.
@@MK_ULTRA420 cry about it more why don't you.
Sooo a .gif?
@@Colin-kh6kp I would have gone with “waifu pillow” instead of “jpeg”
@@uncletyrone that one's too smart. It would go over their heads. Jpeg they'll probably understand.
"I want a 'traditional' 'submissive' wife. So I'm going to be a controlling dickhead to every woman I interact with until I find someone who complies."
That bodes *extremely* well...
Right? These young men are being groomed into abusers & their parents are probably the ones flipping out about teachers respecting pronouns.
What these alphas mean by they want a trad wife is they want an OG slave then dump her when they decide they want a new model w/o consequence.
It's exactly why the Eastern European and Asian "mail order" bride businesses exist.
You nailed it with that comment.
@@destroyraiden yeah, og as in "doesn't have a choice in the matter" not the new kind ala BDSM where it's just play and everyone's consenting because they couldn't handle that as it's an actualized adult person who understands themselves and what they want even when it means going against societal pressures to get it....which would (among other things) just remind them how incredibly insecure they are.
(Also, there's no such thing as a low-maintenance bdsm submissive)
Couldn’t agree more with Beau. This 74 years young woman has always felt that if two people agree on EVERYTHING, one of them is unnecessary. I am in a wonderful loving relationship with a great guy that I’ve only known since I was 69. We celebrate our diversity every ever loving day.
I'm a woman who came to the rescue of another woman... I've been there and only wished for rescue. I'm concerned for these people who don't get it.
Was it a ligma male after her?
I've done this as well.
man, Beau must get some of the most cringe comments. someone calling him a beta is just too rich.
You should ask him him about all the 💀 threats against him and his family. At least he’s not in it alone.
Thats what happens when you have 20 words in your vocabulary.
honestly cant people use 'beta' unironically... its mega cringe
Hes not a beta. He’s a huge Ligma
@@deciduousrex1219 yeah, they've been incapable of actual conversation the past few years. Far as I remember it started when orange toddler started running for Führer. They switched into a weird language of whataboutisms, talking points, playground insults, and feigned ignorance, and haven't looked back since.
20 words, though? Most of them don't seem to have a vocabulary that big. If you can even call it a vocabulary, mostly it just seems to be regurgitating whatever they hear their betters say. Sort of like little children playing house and imitating their parents, only it's adults promoting fascism.
I've never known a truly strong, confident, high achieving man who felt the need to go around telling everyone he's an "alpha". And he never has the need to go around pulling manipulative moves to put others beneath him.
The number one thing I love about Beau is that he never gets riled by the assholes who message him. It must irritate them so much that they can’t provoke an angry response from him.
I wish I had just a sliver of Beau's patience lol
I think that's only half true. There are moments where you can see in his look, his facial muscles and his tone of voice that he does get angry. He's just not unloading his anger directly into the face of people that piss him off. Which, in itself, is an admirable trait, of course.
@@shadowcat1606 You're right, we've definitely seen videos of Beau where he is visibly holding back his anger. The thing is though, his anger is never with the individuals who send him these ignorant or insulting messages. Beau's anger is mostly with stuff like systemic injustice or society's intolerance or ignorance, for example those pushing this "alpha male" bullshit as some ideal to strive towards. His anger is with an unfair or biased game, not the players within that game, except if they're the ones that rigged it of course.
agree
If you want to see Beau mad. Go to 7:20 and you will see angry and upset. When they called his background a "green scree" that hurt. And I know why it hurts. He has built that thing like 3 freeking times. Can you imagine going though all that effort to recreate that whole thing just for authenticity just to have it insulted as not being real! I would be pissed too.
They don't want a "trad wife"...they want someone who will take care of their every need without demands of their own.
They want Mommy. They need to grow up, but never will.
The other thing: I had no end of men that decided I was what they wanted.
But they never considered whether they were what I wanted.
They never were.
I feel like you just described a trad wife. Cause I could have sworn these types of dudes call their wife mother.
What the hell is a trad wife??
@@deathandcats "Traditional wife," like the image of the consummate homemaker from the 50s and 60s on TV and the movies or whatever.
@@deathandcats Think June Cleaver, depending on your age you may have to Google her.
At my age, they want a nurse and a purse. And they're everywhere.
As a woman it is really scary to me this undercurrent of hate that is out there. I will never let myself to be in a position to be completely dependent on a man, because waaayyyy to many change when they get the upper hand. I remember watching my dad tell my mom she didn’t need basic clothing, a new bra, because she didn’t need to go out in the world(she was a stay at home mom). He also would get jealous of money my grandmother would give us so we kids could have clothes for school(he didn’t make enough to provide for us) and would use a portion of it for himself. He also at times had a second job, but that money was just for him though. Tough childhoods make for interesting people. Sometimes I wish I was less interesting, but wouldn’t change it because I like who I am.
I'm also scared by the amount of hate there is out there for people like me. People really seem to hate insecure, lost, men who haven;t had intimate relationships and for the life od me I can't fathom why. I think it's because deep down they're holding onto this masculine ideal of being totally confident and getting women easily
Stay strong. It's hard but you can carve out a place for yourself in a world filled with hate :)
I had a father who was married to a mother who would stand up for herself but had no problem with him smacking two little girls around to prove what a big man he was. I married a very stupid man simply because he was big and strong enough to smack around my father if he tried to bully me. Not a great decision.
I'm glad you were able to find peace with yourself
@@painunending4610you have to leave this circles of self proclaimed “alphas” and join the real world. Then you’ll realize you’re “normal”. Drop the act, and find something you LIKE to do. Everyone says Nerds don’t get layed, but I know several who met their wives around a D&D table, Renaissance festival or Comicon. I play an online game for 5 years, and there are many couples who met in game first, then in real life.
Do what sparks your passion, and you might find someone who share your interests.
Years ago I used to be a bouncer. I can’t even count how many times women specifically asked for me to interrupt their dates. If you see these “alpha” men doing the types of things that they are criticizing, be willing to be that brand new best friend. You’ll save someone’s life.
👏👏👏 I would only go to a bar to relax after work if I knew the bartender or bouncer would be my safe person if needed. Thanks for helping keep the gals safe
❤
Thanks for helping people when they were in need. ♥️
@@SallyStClair-tv9gfSo you are a living proof of Briffault's Law?
@@thealienwatcher540 so Briffault's law basically says that short of rape a man can't have sex with a woman if she doesn't think she will enjoy it in some way. A statement that is equally true of men.
"It takes two to tango," is a much better expression of this law.
A woman who is not approached by a man and who, when approaching men, is rebuffed is experiencing the exact same problem, which would suggest that "where the male can derive no benefit from association with the female, no such association takes place."
Hell, this is the real reason for Incels. They are not involuntary celibate, they are refusing to end their celibacy with willing women who don't meet their "standards." "Bettys," who are not rich supermodels and therefore not worthy of an Incel's time.
I laugh at those who call themselves "alphas", and everyone else "betas". In their minds, I'm sure they think they're owning everyone around them. Everyone around them is just laughing at them.
Hmmm, alphas?
Back in the 80's, we called them ass-holes.
@@michaelmartinez3674 now we call them ligma
Delusions of grandeur maybe?
As is often the case, if you have to tell someone you're "alpha", then you're really, really not.
In their minds they think they are wolves but they can't even raise wolves.
Regarding the "this never happens" response; for at least a few years there's been a campaign trying to spread the word among bartenders that if a patron asks if "Angela" is there or orders an "Angel Shot," it means they're in an unsafe situation and need discreet help. If these things never happened, there would be no need for that. Keep up the good work, Beau.
"Tell me you have never met my wife, without tell me you have never met my wife."
Right on Beau.
“I want a wife with low expectations” (because that’s all I expect to be able to meet). It’s incredibly sad, actually.
Guys like that expect women to just fall over themselves to marry them when they brag about having/offering the bare minimum... sometimes, not even that. It's sad.
It’s sad but that’s what society projects. Really rich men do that all the time and we put them on a pedestal. You see rich men going through wives, presumably because they truly have nothing to offer or someone can’t live up to someone’s expectations, and everyone thinks that’s pretty coo. They make entire shows dedicated to it and people watch it. WTF world so you live in.
Your story of the taxi driver reminded me of an event of my misspent youth in Manhattan in the 1980s. A man I met in my usual restaurant asked me to go with him to a popular discotheque. When we got in his car, he drove straight to the highway. We ended up in the empty Wall Street area. Horrified, I hopped out and walked in the opposite direction his car was facing so that he could not follow me. I knew that I would have a long walk late at night to get home. Within a few minutes a taxi stopped at a red light near me. I hopped in, startling the taxi driver. He was an "angel unaware" who safely drove me home.
THAT was SMART!! And also, “Bravissima!” 🪷🌷🐚
I'm so glad you made it home safely! As we know, some don't 😔
Anyone who calls himself an alpha is likely a lonely, lonely cuss.
And they really need to look up the definition.
Well,lol. Not me. Look up my reply,comment here under another quip about "Alphas "! 😉
They use it as a confidence crutch. Fake it til you make it and all that. That one silver bullet that will allow them free passage through all their troubles. Just need to keep blasting those morning motivational speeches and JP quotes.
I should know... I was deluded enough to fall for it once. Funny shit is a few months after I let all that shit go, I started making friends and even scored a few dates. He's absolutely right. This whole Alpha PUA mentality is horseshit sold by master class con artists to naive confused and vulnerable people.
Scary part is how easy it is to get sucked into. One bad experience creates a feedback loop that isolates you into these types of communities. The whole time I was in I thought I was hot shit but I was miserable.. on some level it makes me feel bad for these guys, but I still can't excuse their actions. Some of them take it way too far
What are you? A ligma?
Careful around anyone who calls himself an 'alpha' they're the type that need date rape drugs to get laid...
The only thing I took from this that didn’t make me cringe and hate society is….
Beau’s wife is a f’n badass!
As much as I'd love to hang with Beau, I'm starting to think that meeting his wife would be an AMAZING (and humbling) experience!
I'm pretty sure she'd have zero problems putting those little boys back in place and good for her.
She's a badass. Y'all know they have 6 kids, right?
Busy people.
Mrs Beau is a fning bad ass, she’s a combat nurse, mum and animal rescuer extraordinaire
I'd bet that if you asked Beau's kids, who's in charge. They'd say their mom. Alpha/Beta is dumb, but if we need to use those terms. A true Alpha would be fine with that. He'd be strong enough to know she's got this and appreciate that she choose him.
Obviously, Beau's masculinity is not as delicate and fragile as these guys. Bless their hearrrts!
As much as I disagree with. This is one thing I will give him absolute credit for. Having healthy masculine traits. By what those types consider “Beta” I would be one as well. Broken, validation seekers. That’s all they are. Same as the “boss B” women.” Damn world full of emotionally 12yo people. “Bless their hearts.” 😂
😂😂😂👍
What;s wrong with having delicate and fragile masculinity. Why do you expect all men to be strong all the time otherwise they're not real men? Why do you hate insecure men?
I am insecure and fragile and damn proud of it. Knowing that you hate me fuels me to be the best version of myself
@@painunending4610 Well, bless your heart!
@@joiedevivre2005 thank you. Ill take all the blessings I can, even if they are sarcastic
Going after Beau is a losing battle. He will calmly and intelligently tear you down.
As a ligma would.
its like punching a brick wall.
@@Mrnoddingdonkey so, you agree with the rest of us...but are stuck with a made up term like a child who hasn't learned sanitary habits yet.
Have you learned how to wipe the ligma off your arse yet?
You are such an accomplished teacher, Beau! I am an elderly woman, hardly the target audience for this video, but I took a spectator’s pleasure in how you constructed this lesson.
Elderly women are some of the greatest teachers in the world. What y'all have to teach us very important. I bet Beau would agree.
Actually, you probably are part of the target audience for this video. I'm pretty sure Beau makes these videos for everyone.
I feel like any human trying to be a better human is in Beau’s target audience…
Nice little story: awhile back Beau found out his videos has been used to de-radicalize people who typed in certain search terms were diverted to his videos. Pretty great. Had he known about it he would have supported it. He only found out about the program after it had been terminated. Some idiot went public with it so that put an end to it.
think it went on for about a year. i’m fuzzy on the exact details, other peeps may know more
My dad who would’ve been 83 this year had a talk with me when I was considering dropping out of college for my boyfriend. He told me about one of his high school friends who quit college for her boyfriend. He ended with “Every time I see her she’s unhappy and you would be too”. My parents were married over 50 years.
My Dad was strong on "Every woman needs to be able to support herself."
I settled when my EX wanted to settle down. I gave up EVERYTHING. I can strongly agree that your dad was right on the money!
Do you....the. add a partner to that. I promise it will work out better!
If you have a BF/GF that won't wait and support you while you figure out how "you" is, then they aren't right for you in the longrun.
@@veramae4098 well your dad was a ligma then
@@veramae4098 mine too. He taught me basic car stuff, hunting and fishing, and got me into science.
@@Pamlandy2 I didn’t drop everything to marry my ex. I did try to be what he wanted me to be. It nearly broke me. The day he said “I bring home money, don’t drink or beat you”, I knew it was over. Took a few years but I got out. My current spouse is great!
I love how we inadvertently got the story of how Beau met his wife out of these comments 😂
Being like Mrs. Beau is a LIFE GOAL. She's got a college degree, served in the military, and has a fantastic family. Trad wife? I don't think so.
I'm so glad that my mom taught me to be a beta like in being proficient at cooking, cleaning, sewing, and taking care of the kids as well as myself.
I thought that was just being a competent adult human being. I know I'm lucky to have good examples in my life--my dad's a better cook than my mum, actually, since he'd worked part-time in a restaurant when he was younger. I don't know why I'm still surprised when I see yet another guy insisting that they want to get coddled even through adulthood.
I shouldn't be surprised by the letters Beau is reading out loud, and yet here I am, watching in disbelief.
Do the young folk still call it "how to adult" ;)
I like that term
Setting a healthy positive example is being a man.
Nothing wrong with having a skill.
Heinlein said something like "A human being should be able to build a structure, butcher a hog, cook a tasty meal, plan an invasion, change a diaper, bind a wound, fight bravely and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
I'm sure I missed a few and notice he didn't restrict the list to one gender.
Granted, I can't butcher a hog and my military experience didn't include actual combat but I have the rest of the list (planned an invasion at war college).
I do wish that many men could learn that toughness does not imply violence or cruelty. Toughness avoids these and means compassion first. This is true masculinity.
I'd choose a 'beta' over an 'alpha' any day. Thanks Beau for being you.
No one needs to cast an "alpha" in a bad light...they do that themselves.
Lol!!yeah
But for some men, trapped in the darkness of misogyny, might be the only light they get.
Surprisingly enough of them watch and commented on this channel to get this follow up video
Easy way to tell if you're an "alpha:"
Do you walk around exclaiming you're an alpha or feel the need to prove you're an alpha?
If "yes:" You're not one.
Joffrey Baratheon: "I am _the KING!_ " *spit flies onto Varys*
Tywin fuckin' Lannister: "Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."
Your last sentence says it all: they have low expectations for themselves and thereby need a doormat they can trample on so they can bolster their egos. Their idea of Alpha: needing someone to subjugate so I myself can feel significant.
Thank goodness my parents, especially my father, taught me not allow anyone else to control me. These guys are the ones that are going to end up lonely and alone. Women no longer have to stay with sub par men because they need his paycheck.
Yup and that’s why these manosphere types are usually far-right lunatics. They realize the only way to “attract” a woman is to take their rights away so they have no other choice.
Or they could just change their personality and drop this PUA crap, but I guess that’s far less likely.
Unfortunately, these guys are already lonely and alone…
This is how they initially lash out…
The scary thing is that they have unfettered access to firearms…
My Dad, a father of girls, told us he would provide us college educations because he did not want us to be dependent upon anyone. He had seen his mother struggle after his father died young and experienced the German alpha male who became his stepfather.
Yes, thankfully women do have more of a choice these days. A divorce may plunge them into poverty but that's better than staying in a miserable marriage.
Unless the man that believes "if I can't have her nobody can". And there are still a lot of those around. So many news stories about a guy killing his wife and sometimes the kids too because his wife wanted out. Maybe that's an alpha reaction?
I know some women also kill their partners, but I wonder what the statistics are for women doing it compared to men.
If I remember correctly the number 1 cause of death in pregnant women is murder by a partner.
Unfortunately, these guys are also the ones who join far right groups because they offer simple answers for complicated questions. They assign blame on an Other that these guys can heap all their frustrations on.
Leftists of all stripes need to peel themselves out of the corners of Twitter and counteract these harmful messages. There are plenty of good male role models of the progressive variety that can definitely reach these guys.
Some folk, like the guy who originally wrote to Beau, realize that they can become a better person through humility and compassion, also known as "growing up". And then there's the guy who can only say "beta" every second because that's the new "nerd" or something.
"Growing down" seems to be the ambition there.
I'm 57 and went to university and was a professional computer programmer. My mother taught me to be a programmer like she was. She made more money than my step-father who was a professor. My step-mother worked as a manager for the state making more money than my father who was also a professor. Both my mother and step-mother were born in the mid 1930s, got college degrees, and were professionals. It's been going on for a long time.
Real men don’t go around using words like alpha and beta to describe themselves or others. They don’t try to manipulate or put others down to make themselves feel better. Instead, they actually try to uplift others and be a positive role model. They’re honest and considerate in their interactions because they know that’s the key to genuine relationships. A foundation of lies will ultimately crumble.
Real men see real women and know that they’re people too, with their own feelings, hopes, dreams, worries, sorrows, regrets, problems, solutions, ideas and everything else just as they do. They are deserving of the same respect and consideration as anyone else.
Side note: It’s actually kind of cringe to say “real man” and claim what a “real man” is, but I felt it was warranted in this instance since it’s aimed at self-proclaimed “alpha males”. Speaking of which, an actual alpha, if anything, is a parent who leads, protects and provides comfort for their family. In other words, they don’t aim to dominate or make others feel uncomfortable.
Oh, you're just being an upsilon. (has that one been used yet?)
@@rafetizer 😂
At the risk of not being a real man...
If you say you are an Alpha or Omega, you are a Beta.
If some thought leader has taught you to describe yourself as a greek letter and you slavishly follow their instructions on how to be a leader, you are a follower.
My experience in indoctrination at college was being exposed to people of different countries, different cultures, and different experiences. I don't see that as a bad thing.
What he wrote is also a Fox talking point.
All I can say is kudos to the original guy who messaged you for realizing he had to break away from this trash, toxic, and dangerous (to others) mentality.
When asked about my wife and why we married. I can explain how much she has added to my life. She's quiet, but she is smart. She has a very dry humor, but when she throws a joke out it's not only funny it makes you think. If loving her, if supporting her, makes me a beta male. Oh well. As to why she married me. She once told me I never questioned her goals and have always supported her. She also says it's because I'm so much cuter in the morning.😍🤔
I believed you until the last bit 🙂😉
A-a-a-w-w-w! Izzums dat coot!!!
I tell my husband of 45+ years that I married him because he's the best man on earth. He tells me he married me because he'd never be bored and that I could have done much better than marrying him. The truth is we suit and we're both stubborn as hell and remain madly in love with each other. He's still the lively, gallant man I married and I am still the cutest fluffy bunny he married - despite both of us being retired, old, gnarled, gravely debilitated and grey.
@@kayallen7603 you are so blessed.
That sounds like my husband and me…
except that I lost him after only 40 years. 😢
I wish you and your husband many, many more happy, healthy years together. ❤
Sooo true. When I was dating I would let prospective dates know up front that I had a decree, was independent financially, etc. I said it in a way not to brag but just to get the data across. MANY of them would just walk away. That worked for me because I did not want to waste time with a person who wanted a "TRAD" female. Sometimes the "RED" flag was the initial controlling behavior (subtle at first). Then I walked away. I am currently married to a great guy and we are both retired. We found each other later in life. We are partners. We do not NEED each other, we are friends, equals and respectful of each others accomplishments, etc. Definitely worth the wait. One other thing to the females, YOU cannot FIX these guys. Walk away!
Don’t walk… Run.
so what's your decree?
@@AnthonyStabler DeGree = Biochemist
@@deborahmarlewski6786 my bad, I was just being an anal alpha.
@@AnthonyStabler LOL , NP.
I almost spit out my drink when he called your wife a tradwife. Curious what her reaction was.
I couldn't help but think of my Mom when Beau was describing his wife. She was a Captain (during WW2) and an RN, and anything but traditional. She had an independent streak that never quit. The love of my life is also a nurse.
I grew up in a family of independent men and women. I've seen a lot of guys that are scared of such women. I never have been. I welcome them. I encouraged my daughters to be and they are. Both are happily married, one with kids and the other has one on the way. I have no fear for those children's futures. They will thrive, whatever the world becomes.
@@ernestnichols5186 So say we all!
If one was to look for male role models online, Beau is one of the best. It's hillarious to see these people try to insult his masculinity.
I married in the late 1980's, my wife stayed at home and provided care for our child. It was about the third year of marriage I realized that my wife would become depressed or challenged with feelings about her own internal value. It was at this point I understood that I was seen by her as a vehicle for her experiential worth. I encouraged her to return to university and pursue her own passions. And Beau, it was a way to avoid the GIF, or as you say, "a JPEG that moves". My motivation was not purely selfless, it was also to avoid after ten years of marriage, my wife would possibly become quite resentful. Women are people, too! It all boils down to this simple axiom.
Being an “alpha” is never about grace, manners, education, self restraint or real confidence. It’s about a perception- it’s a facade and if anyone challenges it, you fight them and take their woman (because she will love that). So if you identify as an alpha, we are laughing at you.
My thoughts exactly
My grandfather served in the Alamo Scouts in WWII. behind enemy lines in the pacific. Rubber boat from submarine type special forces style (they weren't called that back then). Yeah... He'd laugh at these "alpha guys" then hold the door open for any woman or man. Politest person you've ever met. He'd ask what she wanted for dinner, or to drink. And move heaven and earth to get it for her. If she wanted to pay, well, he was old fashioned enough to offer, and smart enough to let her, if she wanted.
So called "alphas" could really learn a lot from the generation they claim to want to emulate.
@@troyphoto7 your grandpa sounds like a ligma
I had many marriage proposals that I turned down. I got they wanted me to marry and commit to them, but never got that they wanted to marry and commit to me. I was a good catch for them, they were not a good catch for me.
Worse, they decide in about ten minutes and get offended if you aren't grateful to upend your good life when you don't even know them.
Yup. Like the ones that expect the 1st date to permit them to spend the nite or move in…🤢
Same here. Men who actively look for a wife are like sad, lost puppies. But with so much less to offer.
@@alexiswinter6948 A coworker explained to me that he needed someone to help make his mortgage payment to save his house; when I declined he found someone who would. I had my own mortgage to support with my own home equity to preserve. To give up my hard-earned financial stability for a stranger's financial benefit seemed weird to me.
Think that though 'I want someone with low expectations'
...so they'll settle for you? Match made in heaven.
Once ,long ago, after a big blow up with my wife, my father gave me some advice. He said that if two people agree on everything all the time, one of them is not necessary. Good words to keep in mind in any relationship, I've found.
Your father is a wise man and so are you.
In a reality where insecure men feel like they have to classify each other with names like Alpha and Beta.. Real men live and enjoy life, they dont waste their time comparing themselves. Genuine confidence is a quiet thing that never has to be bragged about. Being disrespectful and controlling of your partner just announces on loudspeaker how small minded and insecure a guy is.
People who like to call themselves "alpha males" really should look at some of Jane Goodall's old chimpanzee footage. The kind of desperate insecurity and attention-seeking they'd see in those dominant males is downright embarrassing, and it isn't hard to see it reflected in human dominance strategies.
I read the first part in the movie announcer voice.
Exactly. Most so called alpha males are fragile egos that think being domineering is strength when it shows lack of ability to accept people as they are. You can be strong with good manners and thoughtfulness and consideration for other human beings and be a great leader. If you are a macho blowhard you may get obedience but little respect and rarely real love. Bossing isn’t strength. It’s bullying. Most women don’t like macho men because their psyche is too fragile. If you demand obedience check why your ego requires it. It’s not alpha- it’s inability to see and respect the other person out of fear of losing face - kind of sad.
I’m a ligma
"All my dating moves are based on observing wolves in captivity".
I feel like if this is true for people and they admitted that proudly when making a date with someone, it would save everyone a lot of trouble in advance.
I'd wager good money that most "alphas" have never dated in their lives.
Why cant people just treat their partner like their best friend? Works for me, and been working for 30+ years for my parents and most of their friends. If your partner is your best friend and you communicate with them as an equal there’s usually very little to worry about.
Same here. 50 great years.
Priblem is, they don't want a friend -- they want a whore* in tbe bedrikm, and a mommy everywhere else.
*Absolutely no disrespect to sex workers. It's how these little 'alpha' boys think of them.
This comment really needs a lot more eyes on it. I'm so over all the differing role crap. Just be a good human/best friend, that it's. That's literally it.
These overgrown children will never have a true partner -- they're looking for a sex slave/cook/housekeeper that they can dump for a new model when they get tired of her. Until they actually grow up and become adult men, they will have nothing more than a series of 'conquests' (most of which will be complete fantasy) to brag about with their equally childish friends.
@@b.a.d.2086 You and @robrod7120 are the few lucky. It doesn't work like that for everyone. You should read Briffault's Law: Women Rule for you to understand. It gives a perfect explanation. Women wield the ultimate veto power in the mating game. It is women who give thumbs-up or thumbs-down to any advances or proposals from men. Briffault embellishes this truism by asserting that intimate relationships between men and women result from a calculated cost/benefit analysis by women. Will she or won’t she acquire a net gain from any relationship with the man? This does not necessarily mean monetary gain, although it mostly does. Other types of gain might be social status, sexual compatibility, anticipated future happiness, emotional security, and the male’s capacity for fatherhood. Even though a woman has accrued past benefits from her relationship with a man, this is no guarantee of her continuing the relationship with him. (Translation: What have you done for me lately?), If a woman promises a man to continue her relationship with him in the future in exchange for a benefit received from him today, her promise becomes null and void as soon as the benefit is rendered. (“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.“), A man’s promise of a future benefit has limited ability to secure a continuing relationship with a woman, and his promise carries weight with her only to the extent that the woman’s wait for the benefit is short and to the extent that she trusts him to keep his promise
"how to get a gf"
Live life, be kind, keep hiking to the top of the hill
You'll meet someone along the way, the roads are not deserted
OMG. I remember friends/family pushing that whole PUA thing to me. I always felt so cringe-y using those kind of tricks, but I still used them because I was lonely and thought it would work. I ended up just being a total jerk to some awesome women who didn't deserve it. I was a toxic mess because I was trying so hard to be the image of masculine they portray as the ideal. But like you suggested in the previous video, I spent some time figuring out me. Things got a lot better after I did that. I met my wife when I knew a l lot more about who I was, and what I wanted from life. I cringe at the old me daily, and try to make up for the harm I caused. My wife and I try to chuckle that I've become the trad wife I always wanted.
Thanks for the videos about this. I really wish I could have watched them when I was in my 20s. Would have saved me a lot of headache.
Best dating advice I ever got was from my best friend. She told me this,
"Before you even think about having a relationship with another person you have to be comfortable with your own company. That means liking spending time with yourself. It's simple, if you don't enjoy being around you why would someone else."
Then work on becoming what you want to attract, character wise.
Sad and lonely? How many kids has Beau got? And he is happily married. I remember his explaining what his wife had to do during the pandemic when she got home. Beau washed her clothes for her to keep infection out of the house.
Yeah. That whole message made me wonder if the video that triggered all this pearl-clutching was the first one the writer had seen. Lol!
@@hks2377 Pearl clutching is an awesome graphic description of what’s goin on round here. Very funny. Very real
The idea that anyone would call Mrs Beau a stay at home horse wife or trad wife is beyond hilarious. Lady was out there as a nurse putting herself at risk during peak pandemic while Beau was the one at home putting out videos
One of the insults that the message writer threw at you was about you being old "a.f." I laughed so hard at that. I've been following your channel for several years and although I might not agree with every single word that you say, you still have taught me a whole lot.....and I'm probably old enough to be the grandfather of your children, yet I don't think of myself as old as f*ck.....because I am still enthusiastic about learning new things.
Yeah...that made me laugh too. Beau is like mid 30s. That preteen writer obviously conflated maturity and age.
Lol same
It is the beard
‘You’ll always be sad and lonely” as the writer types in his parents basement 🤦🏻♂️🤣😂✌️
I've worked construction and machine shop (I know, I don't look it.) And the things men will say among each other when they think a woman isn't paying attention is pretty shocking. They weren't all 'bad' guys or consider themselves 'alphas' and some were even really good involved fathers. On the other hand, they weren't exactly prizes. The thing that stood out the most was how selfish a lot of them were, some might say 'self centered.' So, yes, I ended up having high expectations and I've told my dad (a former boss) he, and his good example of being a good man, is why I have these high expectations. And a big start is to find a man who doesn't value their worth by outside things. Outside things can be taken away, and even health can go without warning. This has been an interesting series.
Jeez … I’ll take a beta ANY DAY! All of my alpha experience has been horrendous.
Would you take a ligma?
The amazing thing is that they've convinced themselves that this is what women actually want. Or, well, they let themselves be convinced of it by dirtbags like Andrew Tate.
I agree, those guys don't deserve Early Access.
"You're probably very different."
It nearly spit my drink on the screen. lol
That was a moment of pure beauty when he spoke those words.
Identifying yourself as an alpha is like giving yourself a cool nickname that nobody ever uses.
Between the 'alphas' sending the messages and Beau, I know which one I would rather be stuck with if a disaster happened....
"A jpeg that moves"
In this video, Beau subtly avoids the thorny issue of how to pronounce "gif"
Nothing thorny about it. It's pronunciation is clear, and unambiguous
It's clearly gif and not gif, just like data and data.
@@CeeJMantis you look like you could use a gin and tonic. A giant one.
My dad’s favorite saying was happy wife=happy life. They were married for 50+ years, passed within months of each other. They were VERY happy!
My Step-Dad's is "a working woman is a happy woman" which was pretty feminist for his era but is a little cringe now. Still, he tries.
And, this is why so many women stay single.
Beau, as always, great content!!! 🥰
I agree. You should read Briffault's Law: Women Rule. It gives a perfect explanation. Women wield the ultimate veto power in the mating game. It is women who give thumbs-up or thumbs-down to any advances or proposals from men. Briffault embellishes this truism by asserting that intimate relationships between men and women result from a calculated cost/benefit analysis by women. Will she or won’t she acquire a net gain from any relationship with the man? This does not necessarily mean monetary gain, although it mostly does. Other types of gain might be social status, sexual compatibility, anticipated future happiness, emotional security, and the male’s capacity for fatherhood. Even though a woman has accrued past benefits from her relationship with a man, this is no guarantee of her continuing the relationship with him. (Translation: What have you done for me lately?), If a woman promises a man to continue her relationship with him in the future in exchange for a benefit received from him today, her promise becomes null and void as soon as the benefit is rendered. (“I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.“), A man’s promise of a future benefit has limited ability to secure a continuing relationship with a woman, and his promise carries weight with her only to the extent that the woman’s wait for the benefit is short and to the extent that she trusts him to keep his promise
Yeah the bar for a "good date" for some of thee guys is so low that "he didn't hurt her" qualifies as "a good date". Just wow.
I guess "he didn't kill her" would be still in the realm of an "okay date"... LOL
"Any landing you can walk away from"... probably looks different from the plane's POV.
Geez, that certainly brings up memories of disastrous dates and then later having to keep ‘shooing’ the
a$$hole away and having to call a LEO while he’d wonder aloud about what was wrong w me….
Not just captive wolves in an artificial environment, but JUVENILE wolves in a captive environment that act out as bullies because of fear. (I've been following Mech's work since 1993/1994).
Oh, that makes it sound more like Lord of the Flies than real life behaviour.
I recently watched a nature documentary where a wildlife videographer was filming wolves on Baffin Island. After weeks of determining he was neither prey nor predator, they left him to babysit the cubs while the whole pack went to take down a muskox. He felt honoured.
Bullying animals have their behaviour corrected by the pack, the Leader leads by consent , and shares the 'role' with others as needs dictate.
One of my favourite definitions of “alpha” is to use the one from software development - it’s buggy, lacks a whole lot of features and just can’t do a whole lot of what the complete package can do.
To the guy asking how to get a good woman, the answer is to be good enough. The complete package - smart, funny, self-confident (as opposed to arrogant - which is what the alpha program teaches), kind, thoughtful and most importantly… interested in her as a person, not as a conquest or a future spouse. Pretty much the opposite of what those “alpha” courses teach.
I think "confident" is reallllllllly over-hyped. Confident is like a neutral trait to me and adds nothing. Vulnerable is where it's at. Not everyone isn't funny either and that's also ok. Nothing wrong with serious.
@@denisekeeran9883 true… but people who are able to laugh (especially at themselves) are usually more functional individuals than people who can’t. As far as confidence goes, I don’t mean arrogant or cocky or any of the other personality traits that the idiots who teach there alpha courses try to instil in the poor kids they are ripping off. That is not confidence. Confidence is being able to take rejection without becoming angry. Being able to function when plans go awry. The ability to be spontaneous, to have fun in the moment. To not feel intimidated if your date is more successful, more intelligent, has seen more of the world than you, understands something better than you.
Confident is the opposite of the guy who says “you will not embarrass me”.
Love the alpha release comparison. Made me laugh perty gud.
Beta release usually hasn’t been fully tested and debugged either! Lol. So what’s desired is the stable release? Hm yes that checks out.
@@sasentaiko yes, stable, fully functional adult. Pretty much what we’re all looking for in a partner.
I'm truly heartened, that so many of these "Alpha men" are watching Beau and taking the time to interact with him and the other "Betas" etcétera, hopefully it shows that they are nearly ready to take that first step on the road to self discovery.
I did say hope.
I would never have dated anyone who did not first respect me as a person. These guys need to learn how to be a good friend.
Wanting a woman with low expectations is just the most devastating self owns I can think of....
Right? If they weren’t potentially dangerous, I’d almost feel sorry for them. Almost.
The way that Beau talks about his wife - and I wish we had a pseudonym for her rather than just Mrs Beau because I'm sure he's just as much Mr "Beau's Wife" as she is Mrs Beau - THAT is what women want. They want someone who actually respects them, and recognises their accomplishments, intelligence and humanity. Someone who doesn't talk over them, doesn't treat them like a possession, and who actually supports them. Not some controlling "alpha" who thinks women are objects and possessions.
These alphas seem more interested in impressing other alphas than anything else.
Beau is a good guy with a good wife living a good life. They are blessed and worked for that blessing. Good for them. 👍👍👍
Beau's far from a "beta" male. From his own words, he sounds as if he supports her ambitions and dreams and accomplishments, cherishes her as a living, breathing person, appreciates who she is outside of being "Missus Fifth Column" but will defend and protect her (and the family they have built) without hesitation. That's not beta behavior; that's what men should aspire to be like.
I’d say he’s more of a ligma
And I am sure she is perfectly capable to defend what ever needs defending right by his side together. No shy little maiden in distress.
Exactly right
If Beau is what is considered a beta male, then all men should want to be a beta.
@@ankem4329 sorry..didn't meant to offer that Misssus Fifth Ciolumn could not defend herself, her home, or her children
I love when people say “you’ll be lonely forever” and forget that the person they’re talking to already has a wife!
Particularly when the ones making these pronouncements are very much the "forever alone" type themselves :P
"don't embarrass me" is a thing that many DV survivors hear early and often when being groomed by their abuser. usually not in the first date. some are actually good at being charming in the beginning. but they all seem to be using the same playbook.
unsurprisingly its very similar to the alpha beta brain rot.
I didn’t know that one. Thank you for the warning.
I would be surprised if most PUA/"Alpha" types who got married *didn't* turn to violence to maintain control.
I imagine that, other than being raised in an abusive household, PUA/"Alpha" teachings would be the #1 cause of abusive behavior.
It's a common expression that what men fear most about dating is being embarrassed and what women fear most about dating is dying.
Wow... I experienced a version of this weird machismo man thing when I was first dating, which was also laced with a unique brand of racism (ya know just for funzies... *Please read sarcasm there*). I thought it was bizarre at the time (15 years ago) and I kept trying the dating thing. Not too many days after that 1st "red flag" date, I experienced another bad date that went from "uncomfortable" to "terrifying" real quick, just as Beau had said in the earlier video. Fortunately, I was able to walk away from both those dates safely but definitely all the wiser about how someone can seem like a "nice guy" until you are on a date with them and they start trying to "structure" the whole thing for you. No one got physically hurt, and I'm sure my dates left thinking that everything was normal on their end. I'm so grateful I met my husband soon after from my dating experiences, but it's creepy and scary to think back at those bad dates prior to my husband and realize how bad things could have turned out before I ever had the chance to meet him. To be honest, for many years following those experiences, I had thought those "nice guys" were just random and weird occurrences... (I know, I was naive when I started dating). However, as I matured, I began to understand what real good men actually look like. In my opinion, a real man is not threatened by a strong partner, and yes, he will be challenged by his partner. They will challenge each other. In fact, each will be stronger because of it and learn how to grow together through those challenges. A man who wants some submissive picture-perfect doll who doesn't have a voice... doesn't really say much about his own fortitude - rather a lack thereof.
Beau, I've been a fan for a couple of years now and these two dating videos are some of your finest work. You call out the issues without insulting the individual, yet at the same time holding them responsible. You clearly explain how a healthy relationship evolves. Here's to high expectations! Thank you for being a feminist and helping to educate some of the men who have been sucked into the MRA vortex.
It took me a minute to figure out the trad wife thing, but now it all makes sense... they're so intellectually and emotionally lazy they can't even say they have to abbreviate what they're looking for. Gee, that must feel great to know the guy who wants you without knowing anything about you can't even be bothered to refer to you as anything other than an abbreviated bro code. Ladies, take care.
Great comment
I think they think "trad" has more flair or something. But yeah, it doesn't. No flair to it.
@@havable But the minimum is 15 pieces of flair...sorry for the Office Space reference, but you're right. It's insulting.
It doesn't seem to cross their narrow minds that women are human beings too.
Here's hoping they can evolve.
"You're probably very different." I have never seen the slyest, sickest burn of all time. Well done, sir.
Yes very ligma of him to burn this guy that way.
@@Mrnoddingdonkey What's that way?
I Already love your wife, And her saying is funny but true lol
Been married 40+ years to a man that not only loves me; he has always respectful and “never has hit below” the belt during an argument, arguments open doors for problems, he supported my college aspirations, my career, has always helped with the house, stepped up to cooking when I was too tired, supported my hobbies, volunteer work etc. and the times I chose not to work And we raised 4 boys!
I worked in a job were we housed a bunch of “alpha” males. The most “alpha” were kept in the SHU behind a solid door doing 23 & 1 alone.
It's hard to smell your own stink.
Props to those guys that are learning and hopefully trying some deodorants.