I got some: -It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they are always taking things literally... -A dyslexic man walks into a bra... -The soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He's a seasoned veteran. -A boy swallowed some coins. The doctor checked him and said "No change yet!" -Definition of a will: It's a dead giveaway. -I should have been sad when my flashlight went dead. Instead I was Delighted. That's all for now.
Quinn Scott two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says "I would like an H20". Second scientist says "Why the fuck are you talking like that we're not at work anymore?" the first scientist goes to the toilet and cries. His assassination attempt has failed
A midget was escaping from prison as I watched, as he was climbing down the fence he sees me and sneers. I thought "Well thats a little _condesending_"
As someone who makes way too many puns in a given day, the best responses to us are the ones where people are on the verge of walking away lol. The worse the pun the worse the response the more entertained we are.
Step 1: Place thumbs up at waist level. Step 2: Ask audience, "This is a lighter." Step 3: Raise a thumbs up to shoulder level, or just make sure it's obviously raised. Step 4: Ask audience, "If that was a lighter, what is this?", referring to the raised thumbs up. The answer would be "highlighter".
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles Why was the soldier pinned down? He was under a tac What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A bucaneer
its not stealing he publicly said that so he can use it as he pleases and all the jokes in the video were "stolen" they didnt come up with any of these
+I ate a whole pizza Many people say they would go back in time and kill baby Hitler but if they went to his parents house they would see he was adolfded
+MrNeutral01 lol that's awesome.i might end up using that sometime. if i ever get paid for it i'll let you know and give you a bigger cut than i'm gettin.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "get out of here, we don't serve your kind!" The mushroom says, "come on, I'm not so bad, I'm a fungi"
+Vanishing_Troll Im more confused on why he putting up a symbol as a republican and then crying about gay jokes... theyre the god fearing homophobic party. Why are most politicians gay? Because they can only mandate.
***** But the whole party system is a hivemind. If you identify as one or the other you get all the associated stigma about the group. Its an echochamber where they get their ideologys circlejerked.
Man, that "I was going to get a brain transplant then I changed my mind" joke is painfully ironic now @Thick44.. Hope you are doing well and your recovery also! Kisses
I used to work as a Crime Scene Investigator. At one of the crime scenes the murderer had left behind a pack of playing cards. It was my job to swab the deck.
Surprised no one mentioned Neeb's laugh sounding like Jared Leto's Joker laugh.... (yes I know this was upload way before the movie was even released and talked about but still)
2:15-2:46 "If you're greeting card birthday 5:19 nothing beats a girl with a great singing voice, except chris brown 6:52 smaller babies can be delivered by a stork, the heavier ones need a crane! lol 8:25 what do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off 8:56 what kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? size 4? kids?? sneakers? PUMPS. White Vans!
![ลองสั่งของจากแอพ temu ถูกจริงหรอ?? ( part : 1/2 ) [โกงไหมครับ ep.89 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RTcZSQTiDZw/mqdefault.jpg)
![[#SHORTS CLIP] ใช้ของของตัวเองไปเลยสิคะ l ซานิเบาได้เบา l One Playground](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ea_mTywx2p4/mqdefault.jpg)
I got some:
-It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they are always taking things literally...
-A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
-The soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He's a seasoned veteran.
-A boy swallowed some coins. The doctor checked him and said "No change yet!"
-Definition of a will: It's a dead giveaway.
-I should have been sad when my flashlight went dead. Instead I was Delighted.
That's all for now.
I applaud you sir
Ba dum tss
i started a bar called erectile dysfuntion
nobody came
it was a complete flop
Lol
Reaper Should've ended after nobody came.
my spleen!!!!!
that's great
Reaper that’s a 2 for there
I was going to tell a chemistry joke, but the best ones Argon
When this guy dies we'll have to barium
You two should stop being Borons.
NaBrO
+Celso Victoria Are you made out of Bismuth, Technetium and Hydrogen?
Because You're a BiTcH
Lmao this went over so many heads.
So I met this girl the other day in my African languages class.
We started talking and just clicked.
this shit is good
I don't get it.
@@Ericstefanik260 lots of african languages have clicking sounds in them
Iraqnophobia - The irrational fear that spiders may be secretly developing weapons of mass destruction.
[sic] damn. I gotta remember that one
@@yourlocalbinchicken7975 Still remember?
What do you never say to a guy who has Aids? Stay positive.
Augh
Alexander Krestan murder me now
Bro lemme help you, you're bleeding out. What's your blood type?
B positive
I'm trying but your bleeding out!
I dont get it
"Don't let an extra chromosome get you down' is the best one liner joke!
damn right😂
+Mi2Lethal I like Richard Pryors....'I'm not addicted to cocaine, I just like the smell of it'
+TheWayOutisThru
So you like the smell of gasoline
I don't think you understand dude,....
+TheWayOutisThru
Nah I get it you like to smell gasoline
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
So he isn't spotted.
CosmosGaming 😮😲 wooooaaaaahhhh
CosmosGaming Nice
(Appsro laugh) HAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Okay that was actually pretty good.
ah ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
5 years later and this is still golden we need more vids like this love you guys
why did the hipster burn his tongue.
because he took a sip of the coffee before it was cool.
Genius
I'm not sure if I should laugh or feel disappointed
already knew it
Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So a man was walking the plank on a pirate ship. The captain gave him one last wish so the man asked for some root beer.
Why?
Because root beer floats
lol
+Kevin Dyer it's still spelt "beer". I read "bear" as an animal the first time and it screwed the joke for me.
+PallyWoods i did not noticed it being misspelled
Mario Holmes I usually don't on these things but with the nature of puns, I look more closely I suppose.
+PallyWoods all well
a new broom that is sweeping the nation? must be the wonder-broom
Evyatar Arbell I'm happy I got the reference
Gman 0_0 :)
Evyatar Arbell it will soon be our day
Gman 0_0 OUR DAY!!!!
Evyatar Arbell yes just what I was gonna say
What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up
Awesome!
lol
My names Bond. Ionic Bond
+Alec Roman what happens in a gay drive by?
they pull up, then throw skittles at you and yell "taste the rainbow"
What a grape joke.
Here's a chemistry joke. Two guys walks in to a bar. The first guy asks for H20. The second guy asks for H20 too. The second guy died.
Quinn Scott two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says "I would like an H20". Second scientist says "Why the fuck are you talking like that we're not at work anymore?" the first scientist goes to the toilet and cries. His assassination attempt has failed
I love this joke
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
:D :D :D :D Thanks to chest pain I couldnt focus on watching... Then I read this xD
Good thing he didn't tell that chemistry joke, because the Finebros would of sued for the reaction
I applaud you sir
Yes.
If you want to tell a quick chemistry joke give a cat a list
+Crazcosmo Finebros, please apply cold water to burned area
Fuck the fine bros they got nothin on neebs
I made a belt out of watches. It's such a waist of time
Friend of mine: "why are you trying to climb Big Ben?!" Me (with a British accent,): "I want to be on time!"
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
they taste funny
nice pun dude
+Mario Holmes that's not a pun...
+dug turner just a really old bad joke.
+dug turner yeah my dad told me that, he dad joked me
+MrBitemeidareya was that suppose to be a joke?
I was just about to tell a joke about my testicles but I didn't have the balls to say it
I'm between xD and :|
i'm totally at ....... :/
Lhh
I don't think I've ever seent a group of guys that are as talented at punning with each other as the neebs crew.
Im pretty sure they were looking up a lot if it on their phones.
+Parker Styers They said in the video that they were
I wasn't referring to their jokes. I was referring to their chemistry.
+Sammy McSamsquamsh And I was not replying to you, I was replying to the other guy
So was I.
How do you make a squirrel cry?
By smashing its nuts.
“A steak pun is a rare medium, well-done.”
“I-I wasn’t listening.”
Neebs, you’re a fucking god.
Hearing thick’s voice after what happened is so heartbreaking
Agreed, rest well wyvern king
You guys should do a riddle episode
+Neebs Gaming do it
Neebs Gaming do it now 😤😤😤
Neebs Gaming
DO IT PLEASE! IT'S BEEN OVER A DAMN YEAR!
DO IT ITS NOW OVER 2 YEARS
@@NeebsGaming still waiting lol watching all the old ones right now
(◍ ᴗ ◍)❤
What do you call a bunch of seals that are sitting on a beach?
A cluster phoque (you probably didn't get that if you don't speak french)
How do you stop your web browser from getting pregnant?
Get it's youtubes tied.
What do you call a Midged that can talk with the dead while running from the police?
A small medium at large.
A midget was escaping from prison as I watched, as he was climbing down the fence he sees me and sneers. I thought "Well thats a little _condesending_"
A thief tried to escape a 3 story bank by taking the elevator. It was a con descending condescending!
Debbie321lopez that is gold
This made my whole day, I live for puns!! here's one I created
You know how George Lucas left Star Wars??
Ewoked away 😄
+MrTrollingUnicorn BANG!
*Neebs' weird pun laugh*
George Lucas must have been really spaced out when making the Star Wars prequels
ohhhhh you!
+Simon The Gamer 1:05
As someone who makes way too many puns in a given day, the best responses to us are the ones where people are on the verge of walking away lol. The worse the pun the worse the response the more entertained we are.
Step 1: Place thumbs up at waist level.
Step 2: Ask audience, "This is a lighter."
Step 3: Raise a thumbs up to shoulder level, or just make sure it's obviously raised.
Step 4: Ask audience, "If that was a lighter, what is this?", referring to the raised thumbs up.
The answer would be "highlighter".
Sorry, it's "tell audience" at Step 2.
+Shaik Siraaj
I don't get it :P
+Peter Farrell Basically, he raised the lighter so it was higher. HIGHlighter.
I need Neebs' laugh at 1:05 to be my message alert.
GuiltyOfPleonasm_ Same
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
For being outstanding in his field.
I was gonna tell y'all a football pun...
But I knew it wouldn't kickoff
If you're not going to tell me the joke, can I have my quarter back?
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles
Why was the soldier pinned down? He was under a tac
What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel
How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A bucaneer
The fact that out of all the jokes that Thick44 could have picked he picked the brain one... just recently having brain surgery... that's pretty wild!
It’s weird that thick says the brain transplant pun and 5 years later he has a Brian surgery
The brain joke from thick felt kinda unreal
😔
I had a boomerang joke but it hasn't come back to me
What do you call a team of toddler foot soldiers? INFANTry. XD.
Someone stole from wildcat I see
its not stealing he publicly said that so he can use it as he pleases and all the jokes in the video were "stolen" they didnt come up with any of these
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?
A steak to the heart
Henry Pelmas you stake it
Henry Pelmas you steak him
Give him garlic? Cuz garlic is a vegetable lol
Neebs was doing the Joker laugh 3 years before it was cool.
The joker laugh was always cool before Joaquin
You should take these puns and hide them so nobody can find them,Anne Frankly I don't care where
You. I like you.
+sam frizzell I nazi that coming
+sam frizzell I needed to czech if that was a pun or not as i wasn't sure.
+I ate a whole pizza Many people say they would go back in time and kill baby Hitler but if they went to his parents house they would see he was adolfded
sam frizzell I must say i'm out of mein kampf-ort zone
Neebs came up with Joaquin Phoenix's "Joker" laugh four years ago. Maybe he's a fan of the channel.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels
Or was it the bagel?
Joaquin Phoenix totally stoled neebs laugh for the joker
want to hear a joke a out some cats neebs?
just kitten...
+shadowfox ahh you've cat to be kitten me right meow
+Greenietom3 that's so fuckin stupid i gotta laugh. good video though. never would have expected to laugh so hard at a puns video.
Yeah I agree
+shadowfox get out, right meow
Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer?
I was gonna tell you a zelda pun, but I didn't wanna try and force it
Shout out to you guys just for being so rad. You guys deserve the NeeBell prize.
Did you hear about the guy who got knifed?
It was forked up, man!
...too spoon?
5:02 you're getting fined by the finebros
a neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink. he says for you no charge.
what did I do to deserve this PUNishment?!
they are the PUNishers
omg thats so bad it funny you make my eyes bleed
I was gonna say something witty, butt fuck it.. it's no big dildo
no bad
NO
these are supposed to be bad right? good.
Why cant Rabbits have a monarchy?
Because their all heirs. huh? ya.
lol
Ya
Neebs: I knew I wouldn't get a reac...
Finebros: see you in court.
Where did the tourists go when all the hotels were full?
The "Last Resort".
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Don't worry he woke up.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
BISON
Why do ghost love elevators? Because they "Lift" their spirits:)
i know a guy addicted to brake fluid. he says he can stop at anytime.
I dont trust stairs. I think they're always up to something
I know someone who had a period. I told them “ It was less of a period and more of an exclamation point. “
5:47 Thick knew it was coming, he just didnt know it yet
My Mom said I could never drive spaghetti, the look on her face as I drove pasta.
My sisters mad at me for saying one of these
+tyler baron Tell her to act like a bridge and get over it?
UnfortunateGun
Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it.
+MrNeutral01 lol that's awesome.i might end up using that sometime. if i ever get paid for it i'll let you know and give you a bigger cut than i'm gettin.
***** lol, I'll be awaiting a paycheck.
I spend hours at a time looking at the mirror reflecting on my life, but looking back at it I can see that it was well spent.
if anyone needs me, I will be standing outside.
Tell them that I am busy being
outstanding
I'm going to start a business selling knives. I'll have the latest cutting edge technology.
What does the bra say to the hat?
"You go on ahead I've got these two."
A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "get out of here, we don't serve your kind!"
The mushroom says, "come on, I'm not so bad, I'm a fungi"
The World Trade Center ordered pizza, I thought they ordered pepperoni not plane😂
😂😂😂😂😂
😔
For some reason I want to say too soon but this is wonderful
+poser sh!t ok I guess it's fine then
*Triggered*
Neebs pun laugh sounds just like Joaquin Phoenix's joker laugh
Enough with the gay jokes, come on guys
+Vanishing_Troll Ha, that's what it started out as, just made my it for fun but I don't upload anymore
+Vanishing_Troll Im more confused on why he putting up a symbol as a republican and then crying about gay jokes... theyre the god fearing homophobic party.
Why are most politicians gay? Because they can only mandate.
more gay jokes, more nation jokes, moar jokes after which people get butthurt
***** But the whole party system is a hivemind. If you identify as one or the other you get all the associated stigma about the group. Its an echochamber where they get their ideologys circlejerked.
+Vanishing_Troll he'd be a real ass otherwise
Man 1: "An Eskimo fell into a frozen lake."
Man 2: "Cool story, bro!"
5:45 That's pretty heavy, considering the tumor. This was 2016 though.
I just lost an electron. You really have to keep an ion them
here's one that might relate to Battlefield.
What's the worst part of being a doctor and a soldier at the same time?
You get SHOT either way!
Kenway2059 um don’t you mean going to the doctor?
Thick's brain transplant joke hit different now
why did Jimmy not go on the swing? because he got hit by a car crossing the road and had to get his arms amputated.
+Jack Nicholl this isn't an anti-joke video, but they should make one.
Where was Sally when the bombs dropped everywhere
+Matthew Aguilar Sally was in the hospital after falling of the swing ;)
+Jack Nicholl knock knock?
not jimmy
Thick's brain transplant joke hits a little too close to home in 2021.
8:55 Thanks Thick for clarifying that joke. Nobody understood the joke.
Well just because u didn't doesn't mean every one else didn't
+jack muncy I was joking.
+jack muncy he was obviously being sarcastic.
I wish Thick clarified the last one, I didn't get the white van pun 😭
+Omar Ashraf really?
+Omar Ashraf r u kidding?
"Sounds weird, tit!"
I laughed harder at that part
Man, that "I was going to get a brain transplant then I changed my mind" joke is painfully ironic now @Thick44..
Hope you are doing well and your recovery also! Kisses
I was going to tell you a chemistry joke.
But all the good ones argon
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
do a "walk into a bar" episode
I agree.
The pun about the broom sweeping that nation brought me back to the Wonderbroom from D&A.
I'd like to hear best (worst) Dad jokes
did you hear about the invention of the shovel? It was pretty ground-breaking!
My friend was hit in the head with a soda, he's lucky it was a soft drink
Ethan Julson XD I read this while Simon said that
I used to work as a Crime Scene Investigator. At one of the crime scenes the murderer had left behind a pack of playing cards. It was my job to swab the deck.
Surprised no one mentioned Neeb's laugh sounding like Jared Leto's Joker laugh.... (yes I know this was upload way before the movie was even released and talked about but still)
EndMySuffering neebs needs to sue jared leto
Thicks brain joke makes me chuckle... I miss that SOB
What does a hot dog say when it wins?
I bun! I'm a wiener! I relish you mustard up the courage to ketchup to me
wow.....thnx now i wont eat a hotdog without thinkin of this pun :'( lol
I pulled 32 hairs out my asshole today.
Here’s a pun: What do you get when you put a cow in an earthquake? A MILKSHAKE
shit, they made a white van joke before damn daniel
I wasn't dropped as a baby, I was just rocked alot.
mama used a big rock.
I met a woman with 12 boobs, sounds weird, tit. I laughed so hard at that one xD
dozen tit
L
Me too. It was funnier than the intended joke.
The human hand has 25 bones. 26 when your lonely.
Levels, Too good
I’m watching this video and I get to Neeb’s terrible asphalt joke when it immediately cuts to a commercial for Pavement Services.
2:15-2:46 "If you're greeting card birthday
5:19 nothing beats a girl with a great singing voice, except chris brown
6:52 smaller babies can be delivered by a stork, the heavier ones need a crane! lol
8:25 what do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off
8:56 what kind of shoes does a pedophile wear? size 4? kids?? sneakers? PUMPS. White Vans!