🏳️🌈coming out to my mom as trans
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ค. 2023
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#shorts #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #nonbinary #pronouns #agender #ftm #mtf #trans #transgender #genderfluid #agender #bisexual #intersex - บันเทิง
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If god wanted me to be an adult WHY WASN’T I BORN AN ADULT?!
😂Right😂
W move
Bc that’s not how human anatomy works 🤓
@@user-hr3xz9zl5u Yes and gender is pretty much how your brain works that sometimes doesn't depends on your anatomy.And being an adult too , sometimes people in 11 are more mature than people in 21 . And you cant talk with a Cristian about science, they dont really except it even these days
@@user-fk6ic3ce9d I guarantee you there are teenagers who could run a country better than Sunak or Biden
It implies that the person did this on purpose just to hurt the parent. It also implies that the pain they will go through (the parent) will be worse than the trans person’s pain which invalidates them. This response can also make the person feel incredibly guilty.
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out. Acts 3:19
Can ask is possible for question your parent ask that invalid you as in my dad ask me how do i know i feel like woman when i am bad at taking care myself and then saying real women know how take care themselfs
Ah yes. People choose to be trans just to hurt their parents right?
@@avthendiarie9955caring for one’s physical appearance isn’t related to gender.
It’s related to where you place your priorities, and how you feel about your body in general (it’s easier to care for something you love vs something you hate!).
your dad’s question assumes all women are feminine and exclusively focused on their physical appearance in a way that caters to the “male gaze”. That’s simply untrue.
I’m a woman (cisgender, in my case). I don’t like wearing makeup. I prefer pants & shorts over skirts most of the time. “Doing my hair” usually means putting it up in a clip, and it happens to be long only because in my case, long hair is lower maintenance (easier to keep out of my face, less money spent on haircuts, etc.)
I majored in mechanical engineering in college. My main hobbies are long-distance cycling, cooking/baking, reading science fiction, and gardening. I do most of the literal heavy lifting in my marriage, because my husband has back issues.
I’m not particularly feminine, but I am a woman. Your dad is confusing being feminine and having priorities that place physical appearance high on the to-do list (fashion, makeup, etc.) with being a woman.
I feel comfortable in my body because my sense of my own gender (female) happens to match my physical appearance (female). To feel female, but live in a male body, would be really disorienting and painful, and would probably make it very hard for me to adequately care for my body!
@@liz9843 okay thanks it kinda something that keeps bothering me because you see i am trans woman and i try coming out to my family but everytime i try come out and i kinda dwell on my emontions to my cousins and once cause fight between me and my dad and that little kinda reason he ask because my mom try bring up and i try aviode but my dad got annoyed and ask me questions like do i know what means be transgender and that question it kinda made me uncomfortable s9rry
I am not trans, but even before i came out as gay my mom and dad had said that would be okay with anything, and that felt so safe. I am still so grateful
My brother is trans. The funny thing about his story I absolutely love. For the basically the entire pregnancy, the ultrasound tech and doctor kept telling my mom she was having a boy, a boy, a boy. So day of delivery, the nurse goes: so what are you gonna name your girl?! My mom goes: "seth, what are you talking about??"
Turns out the tech and doctor were wrong. But, now that hes trans, we joke the doctors were right all along 😂
That's still a girl...
lol!!!!!!
Hilarious Coincidence
I've seen this a lot with trans identified people with their mothers often not identifying with the assigned genders when pregnant with them. This to me is a tell that even in utero, they are making it known who they are but have not had time to verbally express it.
@@blackperson5283No, their brother is a boy.
The way i came out to my mom was asking her “how would you feel if i changed my name?”
And she said “well, what did you have in mind? You wouldnt have asked if you didnt have a name picked”
I told her my chosen name and she thought it was the coolest name ever and has supported me ever since.
(Shes a nurse who wants to work with other trans people in gender affirmation care because she thinks the whole thing is so cool.)
I wish everyone that kind of love and support. Stay safe everyone.
UPDATE: my mom is an LVN and is in a nursing program to get her BSN. Im very proud. Every essay shes written for school so far has been about “The Gay Community” (im working with her on the vocab, but she’s got the right spirit). Its adorable. Shes just so passionate about Queer health and health disparities. And every essay she writes she calls me up to help edit and shes just so floored about the inequities she learns about.
She even recruited all of her professors to help get information about my upcoming surgery. She’s asking them ALL the questions on female reproductive systems and hysterectomies and what to do and all that.
I wish everyone someday has a mom in their life, blood related or otherwise, that will pester their professors for hours at a time in attempts to better understand what their child is going through.
May love find each and every one of you.
(And if you dont currently have a mom you feel safe coming out too, my mom has said she is adopting all y’all. Congrats. She is your mom now. I hope you like pugs, viking shows, and chaos gardening)
Great mom. Also a good way to come out
Amazing mom! My parents are super religious and are homophobic. I feel my mom would be more understanding of me but still. I’m nonbinary
That is wonderfull!!!
What a nice way to come out!! I’m transmasc and have been trying to decide how to tell my mom. I know she’ll be supportive of me, she’s just always busy and tired (she’s a mother of 4) so I don’t really know when the right time would be. I also recently came out as lesbian, but that was before I realized I’m transmasc so idk if I’d be like “I’m not lesbian anymore!” Or smt. I’m open to advice if anyone has any :]
@@Your-local-les3-du7ls if your mom is super busy and you know she’s supportive. Heres what i would do.
Say “mom, im going to make dinner on *night that is a few days out you know she will be home and able to eat with you* and i would like to have a little meal with you”
Tell your siblings youd like to talk to mom during dinner and they can watch a movie in the other room or something. And over the meal you made, tell her. Not only is she getting bit of a break, its a one-on-one moment with your mom and you can explain what you need.
Its a bit of an extravagant round-about way if doing it. But i think it would be effective.
People set aside time for food, like at least 10-20 minutes, and that could be enough time to get your piece in.
Regardless, i wish you the best of luck on your journey friend.
I'm not really sure how my mom would react (due to her not being here anymore), but when I came out to her framed picture, I had good dreams that night.
That's really sweet.
I’m sure she’s very proud of you and loves you so much
Im glad you had good dreams
Jandhehbshrh this comment makes me feel so many good but really sad feelings 💚💚
I have a feeling that was her way of telling you she was proud of you for being yourself… Don’t be afraid of who you are… be you and don’t let anyone stop you.
@@ChaoticAngelKitten Yeah... In fact, on that same year, I had a dream on her birthday (June 5th) where I was at a bookstore and I noticed some books that felt familiar... It was written by her spirit. In one of the chapters, it said "Out of all the regrets from my past, giving birth to my daughter was never one of them". I woke up crying happily. This year for Mother's Day, I watched the movie "Selena" (we used to watch it and enjoyed her songs from a cassette).
GOD. DOESN’T. MAKE. MISTAKES which is why you should be loved and accepted no matter what. Many people’s goal is to be like Christ and he loves unconditionally so why shouldn’t we? 🏳️🌈❤️
I'm not religious but that's a great world view, I salute you
Christ does not love the sin
@@Sparbtw but doesn't he forgive us for our sins! RIGHT? I'm not religious but I've heard many people say that
@@localdragonpuppeteer Jesus offers forgiveness. We accept His forgiveness when we come in humility, realize we’re wrong and ask humbly Him for forgiveness.
Leviticus 18:32
Leviticus 20:13
Jude 1:7
Romans 1:26-28
Genesis 2:24
Mark 10:6-9
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
1 Corinthians 7:2
2 Corinthians 5:17
1 Timothy 1:8-11
Hate the sin, not the sinner. Love the sinner, not the sin.
If i have a daughter that comes out to me as trans, i wouldn't have a daughter.
I would have a son.
If my daughter came out as trans I would have a daughter. Not a son.
@@rlw3508 If I had a child, I wouldn't have a child,
I would have a being who is yet to be an adult. Aka a child.
Nahh you would just be delusional and have a son. Same thing, one way you accept them, the other you don't. Doesn't change anything you still have a son.@@rlw3508
@@c1nn4m4z1ng you got me in the first half lol
@StarOnPawzzz if my parents supported everything I wanted to be or do in life I would be Spiderman who was also an astronaut and fighting Darth vader.
As a parent, I can't even fathom responding in this way. Whenever your kid speaks to you about anything the first response is always love, acceptance and a promise that you'll always be in their corner. Regardless of the subject! If your parents didn't respond this way for you please hear this from me. 'You are loved and accepted and you always fit with us, our love for you is constant, it has no limit. I'm so glad you shared this with me, I'm so fucking proud that you're my kid!'
Omg that’s soo sweet keep making the world a happier place
@@bethezebra get help
@@bethezebra bro you arent funny
@@labyrinth4799 get love.
@@bethezebra bro thinks their really getting me
Why even be a parent if your only gonna have a “me! me! me!” mentality?
THANK YOU COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER.
It’s a big shock to the parents. It’s not a me me me mentality. They reacted in a shock manner because they weren’t expecting what would be a massive change and they aren’t prepared for it. Think about what you say. It’s both sides that won’t be OK about this.
it’s almost like when parents say they love their children unconditionally, the child expects that they’ll be loved no matter who they are. if you’re going to hate your kid for being something other than what you have pictured in your mind, congrats, you love the child as an extension of yourself. NOT the person they are.
But what if god wanted him to be trans, think about it. Either way if my future kids came out to me as LGBTQ then I would accept them because they trusted me enough to tell me that they wanted to be different.
YES JUST YES
YES!
@@Athena-Marina-Ace God doesn't want people to be trans. God makes people a boy or a girl and that cant be changed
@@MrCat757w woooommmmppp wooooommmmppppp
@@AlexaBacon-bk7lb Clearly you watch to much TH-cam shorts
I got the “oh it’s just a phase”
If you got the same thing
👇
it was for many people
Dude I told my friend (who is homophobic and superstraight oml) that I was a lesbian and she told me that exact same phrase and it is SO FUCKING ANNOYING. (Ik this has nothing to do with transgender but still it’s just annoying that people say that)
@@Jester_Pip for some it is
@@Jester_Pip well I didn’t say I was trans I said the exact same thing you did but to my parents and it was “iTs JuSt A pHaSe”
@MrsAthena_Gaming yeah, phasing out your old gender to become more comfortable😊
When I first came out, one of my first real conversations with my mom about it was in a meeting between my school counselor, my mom, and myself. She made it clear my transitioning was going to heavily affect her and how she felt so emotional about it, almost as if she hadn't shut me down when I had a breakdown over my family, who I had been out to for a month, kept misgendering me over the explanation of "It's going to be hard for your newborn brother".
It's been five years, and even though my mom is now supportive of me and has been, I always remember how she hurt me over how she helped. We remember how people have pained us over everything because it's a lot of our experiences. Parents seem to not think about how we hurt when they feel entitled to who we are as people.
I agree mom's reaction in this case wasn't the best. Clearly this came to her as a shock. But her daughter isn't exactly responding very well either by publicly mocking and shaming her mom on the internet.
Sounds like you gave your mom some respect and TIME to adjust. I'm also pretty sure you didn't post a video that was equally disrespectful to your mom.
my mum reacted the same way. shes been getting better and come around but the way she reacted originally will always stay with me. i understand that we should be understanding of parents because of change, but theyre adults, theyre also responsible on how they react. those reactions really affect us. its also the selfishness of the way they speak, as if they owned you, its very sad.
My mom did the same kind of thing, just more focusing on me and how it would hurt me (likely just a cover given how well everything went) I have still never forgiven her, or dad for that matter and likely never will as they betrayed my trust and actively outed me to one of the only people i said not to while acknowledging it themselves
@@Panguinolucy so you wanted them to lie to one person?
@@SB-iy9vn I agree that my mom probably shouldn’t have believed one persons advice on how to treat me, turns out that’s why she was so bad for so long. A lie on how to help is certainly a concerning thing
“If GoD wAnTeD mE tO diE, tHeN wHy WaSn’T I bOrN dEaD?”
Every human being dies, but God wants you to know the meaning of life. Meaning of everything. So it’s all in sequence, you become a kid with an amazing childhood, get married have kids, live old as a family then DIE. And who said if God wanted you to be born “dead”
@@Kortani_star cool but some people don't want kids
@@localdragonpuppeteer that’s fine, they don’t gotta get kids. People who don’t want kids, just want a husband or a wife. Or some people opinions change overtime.
That's not a good analogy. Everyone does eventually, but everyone is their own biological gender.
@@brobot_8371ur sus
I hate when parents act like that it's not right and it's fucked up your mom said how much it hurts her but she doesn't even think how much it hurts you for how she was reacting
She really said no Taylor Swift, I’m not the problem, it’s not me.
little did she know, taylor was right all along. she is the problem, it's her.
Yes, its ALWAYS about the "trans" person. ME ME ME ME ME. LAVISH ME WITH ATTENTION!!!!! IM SO IMPORTANT. WHO IM ATTRACTED TO IS SOOOOO IMPORTANT
@@smolperson2112Can I ask why you think that?
@@user-si7qi4xtriad Ain't that the truth. What so many forget is that their friends and family (in this case, mom) DO have the right to THEIR feelings about anything that's going on in lives of people they love (in this case, the daughter).
They also forget no one can force anyone to go along with it.
@mer3556 yes people are allowed to have feelings but there's a difference between having feelings and verbally blaming a kid for being trans because of how it makes THEM feel. Actions(speaking) and having emotions are two very different things.
If I decide to have kids in the future, I'll love and accept them no matter what.
Epic
Tbh i can't seem to do that so i will have no children lol
What if they wanted to be like Jeffery Dahmer?
@Sparbtw Ok yeah, I'd disown them immediately
@@nightwolfgamer0341 😂
Reasonable reaction
I am a non binary trans man, and came out at 22, im now almost 30. my mum was a little hesitant at first, she didn't really understand anything about queer or trans people. The wider family wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. (We were raised in church) she never threatened to kick me out, or acuse me of trying to hurt her or take away her daughter, thank the gods above. It took her around 6 months to fully come around but now, she's so so supportive of everyone, she bought rainbow pins and badges and has one that says "free mom hugs" on a progress flag. She constantly brags to everyone how amazing her son is.
I know I'm incredibly lucky to have my mum be so supportive, she even jokes about adopting my queer friends.
As a Christian that’s Bi, god doesn’t make mistakes and he made you that way for a reason. Even if you’re parents don’t see
Thats precisely what i said to my mom when she asked if i thought god mad mistakes in reference to me being trans. Just because someone is different doesnt mean they are a mistake.
So a woman god did not create you sinners of the lfbr satan did god made Adam and eve not Adam and steve
Exactly and that’s why you are fine the way you were
A person of god who understands😊
@@sturggaming6759I would like a story about Adam and Steve😂
It sounds a lot better the Adam and eve. (No offence to Christians)
My mom said this stuff. You know, after she told me that we would work through it all together and she would love me either way. She told me I wasn’t allowed to go by my chosen name or pronouns yet because she wanted me to make sure I was absolutely ready and also talk to my therapist about it. So she made me come out to my therapist, who supported me. Since the therapist supported me, my mother said there was a misunderstanding and almost took my therapist away. My therapist ended up “agreeing” with my mom apparently.
Eventually I got tired of the waiting game and came out to my friends and eventually the school caught on. However i go through a lot of dysphoria due to being unable to cut my hair (mom told me I would look ugly) and eventually my mom caught me going by jasper at school after she told me not to. I got yelled at for hours, and she threatened to pull me out of school or move away. Everything was “I gave you the name ___ and it’s SO disrespectful to ME that you want to change the name I gave through after going through the pain of bringing you into this world” and stuff like that. It was all about her, even when I broke down crying she still yelled at me. I had a panic attack when she was finally done and she punished me and told me how angry she was at me for going by jasper because it hurt her feelings and she said that she “knows im not trans” and that “im just trying to fit in because my friends are trans” I met those people after I came out to her. If I wanted to fit in I wouldn’t go through the daily bullying from my classmates because I go by Jasper. I can’t wait to move out of this hell house.
Parents like this only care about themselves and their needs, and not what is good for their children.
@@Anti-PornCrusader I was taken away from my parents because they weren't the best, but that doesn't mean I still don't love them. They never made any choices for me, my Nana did.
@@Anti-PornCrusader No.
Hey, friend, I know we don't know each other, but I hope you're doing well :) I've had a similar experience with my parents, so I think I can kinda understand how you feel and you're not alone❤ I'll be rooting for you so stay strong❤❤
Hey Jasper, I wish you all the best, keep to the people that are good to you and respect you 🌱 You are worth that.
Many people won't understand you and your mother not even trying to understand and listen to you is one of the hardest experiences a child can have, but you don't owe her control over the person you are. Stay strong, take care of yourself, I wish you happiness and good times with your friends!
they said me being trans is just a mental illness, they also said that God assigned me a female, and no surgery or male clothing or chopping off my hair would change that. they said that they won't really ever address me as their son, then blamed it on this generation and my friends😭
But you can never be a man
@@TanjiroBoi um yea they can
@@Cloudyyyyyy00 bro how
I'm so sorry you got this reaction. Parents should love their children unconditionally, even that is in the Christian religion. They have failed you as parents and have absolutely misunderstood (as too many) the heart of Christ's message of Love. I hope you have a support network, it's too tough to go through these things alone.
This is why I often disagree with religion, because the truth is that some (not all, but some) religions encourage beliefs that are incredibly ignorant and harmful. I think religious people need to just accept that LGBT people have a right to exist, and I hope that religion will change over time to be more accepting
"if god wanted you to be a boy you would have been born a boy" I feel like a good comeback to that is "god put me here to test how kind you are and you are failing"
I came out to my mom as a lesbian (at the time I was, now I'm aroace) and she simply said “oh.” in a monotone voice. She never really did or said anything to make it clear if she supported it or not but she did start hypersexualizing me a lot whenever women came around, whenever a female character came up on screen she'd ask me to rate them and ask if I would date them or have sex with them if they were real. And whenever I brought up my friends who were girls she'd get in this weird mood and talk in a condescending voice asking if I was dating any of them and made jokes saying that I'd make out with them behind the bleachers at school. Now she completely ignores anything to do with love or my sexuality whatsoever. Definitely was a weird experience.
Bro I feel you. Im bisexual and my mom would also make weird sexual comments like "I thought you didnt like fish" I HAD NO WORDS I JUST WENT BACK INTO THE CLOSET. WTF IS THAT COMMENTTT
It made me SOOOO uncomfortable I definitely cannot come out as trans now. Its so weird bro.. I was like 13 at the time 😕
@@stxrstruck6755 my mom told me something similar, she said “so all of a sudden you like fish now? But I thought you couldn't handle the texture” (for reference I'm autistic and have ARFID) when I finally admitted to her that I had a crush on one of my female friends. It was so gross and uncomfortable. Especially when I was 11 at the time..
@- Mini Phénix - I can't tell if this is sarcastic or not
Damn that’s tuff, but coming out multiple times as different things not helping the situation. Just makes it more awkward. Also you don’t have to make a big announcement every time you change your orientation. 😅
@@stxrstruck6755I got a friend group and my mom keeps asking if I’m interested in anybody srsly wtf it’s none of your business
Classic parent believing their child is a mini version of themselves and is their property rather then a separate, living thing with their own thoughts, feelings and opinions.
Nah she’s just ashamed her daughter failed in life. I wouldn’t even waste my time crying and screaming, I would just straight up tell her to pack her bags and get out of my sight. I’d buy her an apartment so she doesn’t end up on the streets but that’s the last bit of kindness I’d do for her.
@@H.K.5that’s the rudest thing ever. You’d be the one who fails in life if you kicked out your own child out of your house. You just would give up with loving them?
@@H.K.5 clearly you're the one who failed in life with this much hatred in your "heart" (doubt you have one)
@@AlotOf_Karma cain is mostly right
@@himmybutler464 how? I'm just curious
She’s basically guilt tripping you into making you feel bad for her so you don’t do this. If anyone struggles with parents like this, I’m adopting you and you are now my child and I am your queer, trans father. ❤
Key word "ME" she is more concerned about herself
I came out mid fight with my mom and I thought she wouldn't except me but now, my mom calls me by my name, is doing research about it, and is getting me a binder soon 😁
Even during a heated fight she accepted you! I love that!
Congratulations!
I can’t get that from my dad (my mom thinks I’m a Demi girl not that I’m non binary) so I’m getting it from my sister❤
Love ya sis
@- Mini Phénix - yes I have and can't wait to get one 😁
Horrible parent to not take you to a therapist, the right kind, instead.
Fun fact: it’s been scientifically proven trans people exist :3
Edit: wow- okay- my replies are VERY controversial- but tysm for the 310 likes!
THANK. YOU.
And It has been proven
That trans is a lie
It hasn’t been like this until 2010s
Weong
:3
In the future, if I have a child that comes out as Bi, Gay, Trans, Asexual or whoever they are. I will hold them in my arms and tell them I will be there to support them and love them, unconditionally. They will be my flesh and blood and nothing will change that.
You will be an amazing parent. All kids deserve this kind of love and support🌟
If my future kid said they were trans I would be like:✨GRAB MY KEYS WE’RE GOING SHOPPING AND IDC WHAT YOU GET LETS GO ALREADY✨
What is wrong with you people...
Ikr?! Me too. If that was my kiddo, I would be having a proud daddy moment
Alright I wouldn’t be like “OMGGG YOUR TRANS LETS GOO!” But I would be understanding and respectful
Your kid being Trans is 👏 NOT 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU. 👏 Just be respectful and supportive of your kid. HOW IS THIS HARD?
Yikes
Being a parent full stop is not about you. Narcissistic people should be banned from reproducing and raising children.
As a parent it is about you. If your kid is trans or gay and an only child... That means your entire lineage has ended
@@aadoyt lineage means jack shit these days. Only a truly unevolved troglodyte would care about that. I feel sorry for any woman who has ever had any contact with you.
With this logic, this world is fucked!
I came out to my mum as being trans and she literally turned it into a guilt trip on me saying a bunch of shit like “oh but when my brother died I lost my light then when you were born as my first daughter my light came back your not a boy your my little *insert dead name* you saying your a boy and that your name is your dead name really hurts me it’s like I had another child die your my princess how could you do this to me”
Me a 17 year old who for the past 6 years had figured out my identity and who I am: 🧍🖕🕴️👻
And now I live 16 hours away from her at my dads house who is super supportive of me and my decision like my mums younger brother and mum who she disowned as family respect me more then she does
I mean shouldn't she be happy that she has a child after losing one? Idk
Can i ask u a question, how did u know that u wanted to be a boy? Like some basic real life instances so i could understand. I dont know the complex terminology or philosophy anything, but i would like to know.
@@The_Mosaic I mean everyone’s experience is different but it’s basically like u kinda knew ur whole life that u wanted to be the opposite gender. Most kids already have a sense of what their gender is and that somethings wrong (this is the case for most people). For me, I already knew that my gender wasn’t right when I was younger but no one saw it as me being serious about it. There’s also a bit of science that about y people r trans too.
Yeah I had that almost exact same conversation. I live 45 minutes away and I'm slowly cutting off contact.
Hey there i support u
I came out to my parents a few months ago and they were chill af about it
Oh my mom said all those things to me when i came out as nonbinary
That way, a parent makes you feel like you made a mistake. That it's your fault that you don't feel ok.
Victim blaming.
Being trans is neither a mistake nor your fault! Stay strong :)
@Ligma_is_not_sigmamore like your username is a mistake
@Ligma_is_not_sigma Oh so you agree that its the parents fault for making us a "mistake" and not actually ours
Yes, its ALWAYS about the "trans" person. ME ME ME ME ME. LAVISH ME WITH ATTENTION!!!!! IM SO IMPORTANT. WHO IM ATTRACTED TO IS SOOOOO IMPORTANT
@@user-si7qi4xtriadtrans isn’t about who ur attracted to boo. Trans is the gender you want to identify as, and coming out to family is very hard as you don’t know how they’ll react especially if ur in a very religious household. So yes in this scenario the trans kid does deserve and need that attention
@@totallynotzizii i think they don’t mean it that way most people do it for clout fame attention because it’s a fad wait 5 years suddenly your friends aren’t gay or trans
Because, your child's health, should matter more than your biggoted opinion. If your own child isn't happy and is mentally in pain, you should do something about it, try to understand, talk to them, you shouldn't react like that.
Your child's happiness matters more than your beliefs and religion. If you want to be a good parent, listen to your kid,have a conversation with them, talk it out. You are the mature adult here, act like one.
And if you're saying stuff like "basic biology" biology supports trans people. And there was never 2 sexes.gender and sexes are different.
And if you say stuff like "they brain washed you !"
Trans people have existed since the dawn of time. We have proof of trans people existing in -2000 b.c.
And if transitioning socially (or medically at some point, if your kid is sure about it, it's also reversible, so even if they don't feel like transitionning, they can always go back.) Makes them happier, do it. What is there to lose ?
They are thinking ABOUT THEIR CHILDS HEALTH. Which is why it scares them, being trans gender can come with so many health problems not just mental but physical as well. It's ok to react like this, because it's a STATE OF shock for a parent.
While I agree with what you are saying, and wish my parents would have this response, some parts of medical transition are permanent (voice drop, infertility though uncommon is possible) it is important that people understand that. Have a great day 😊
@@MJAYZ007 yeah but not once did the parent say "you" all the parent said was "I" and "me" if they were worried for their child the first thing would've been talking to them about a therapist
@@ace..of..hearts_they-them_ in my opinion a better response would be asking how long the child thought about it, discussing the possible negatives of physical transition with them to make sure they are sure, asking them about alternatives to ensure this is specifically the right thing and giving empathy and respect.
That's what my mum did and after we figured that all the negatives meant nothing me and that the comfort and joy outweighed it for me as well as me definitely being trans rather than anything else.
@@J4CKS0N_D34R3ST That is definitely true, that is also what my mother did, but this child is not going to medically transition in any way for years, let her have a sweet moment after coming out to someone.
If your child tells you they're suffering and you respond by screaming at them and asking why they're 'doing this to you', you are an awful person and not ready to be a parent.
You don't even have to be pro-science or pro-trans to know that getting angry at someone who is going through something is wrong.
This was my mom when she figured out I was having a mental health crisis (and she wonders why I didn't tell her about all the other times...)
My go to response for “if god didn’t make you [preferred gender] then they wouldn’t want you to be [preferred gender]” or similar lines is
“If god didn’t want me to transition then they would have made it impossible”
I came out to my mom as trans, and she took it well. However, when I was ID as nonbinary, she said "she" chose my name (however, my father was the one to name me). She made me feel guilty that I was going by a different name. I later went from a nonbinary person named Kye, to an enby who went by then name Benjamin, and finally a trans dude named Benjamin.
One of my class mates r trans ❤️❤️
What is enby?
@@princessjen99A Nonbinary person:)
Than don’t
❤ OMG you're so special I'm jealous 😢
Main issue: she said "why would you do this to ME". Nothing is being done to the parent. The child is still the same child, just in a more comfortable position. For anyone to say that someone else's comfort is hurting them is self-centered bc that persons decision is not hurting them.
Also: the child even said that they've tried other things so it's not a random spur of the moment decision. It was thought through and can't be helped that the kid feels this way.
Also, Also: no parent should ever automatically resort to yelling and blaming. Period
Absolutely something is being done to the parent
@@MJAYZ007 nah nothing is being done
@@MJAYZ007 While there is usually a grieving period and such, nothing REALLY happens to the parent in the long run. They're not the one who has to go through dysphoria, self-hatred, and possible hate crimes. All they have to do is accept their child for who they are
I won't argue that parents don't go through SOMETHING when their children come out, but it's not about them
@@Harudodo maybe not but also it is the initial state of shock for her. There is something that happens to the parent. It makes them question things, it does cause a state of fear for their child. It causes them to go through things on their own time. It makes them think about all of the things that their kid has been thinking to prevent this, and yes it could make the parent blame themselves because THEY are scared. It's a NATURAL response, it's a scared response. Because you don't know what it's like for a parent to have to go through this, you don't know the scared thoughts a parent would be going through. I'm not saying her response was 100 percent right in any way. It may not physically effect them or the things they go through, but it will always mentally effect them, when you become trans, regardless of how you feel, whether that be you are supportive or not, there is ALWAYS gonna be a mental state of fear for your a child. A mental shock, a mental wondering of what this person might of done. It's NATURAL, this is a person the parent thought they knew all THEIR life, this is a person that the parent raised and brought into this world and a bond between a parent and their child is a bond I could never come to understand or comprehend I don't think. But it's a grieving process, it's a scared reflex that this parents first reaction is
"What did I do to you to make you become this." Because it's a natural RESPONSE when situation comes up like this because of FEAR of reason why they are doing this to begin with.
@@MJAYZ007 I never thought parents can't have feelings. That's fine. It takes time to adjust. It's NOT okay to be mean, yell, or make the situation about you
If god wanted you to be a boy, why didn’t he??
Me: maybe he made a mistake, everyone does
All jokes aside, I think problematic parents need to stop saying that to their kids, if your kid has said “I am trans and I just want you to love and respect me” then just do it, they just want their parents to still love them ❤
Oh I like that one ❤
@@Duolingo3450 thank you! ☺️
Loving people (in want you to feel fine and be Ok way) is the cristian thing to do. This mom missed the target.
/Cristian swedish bi-cis-woman
"I was born a boy, but nobody told me so I had to figure it out on my own."
LITERALLY ME
It implies the parent's comfort is more important than the kid's, as well as it's guilt tripping out the wazoo.
It's the same level of not okay that it is when my mom tells me that it feels like I'm telling her that her little girl never existed/died when I talk about things that I'm figuring out from my childhood. For context: I have DID and I've been trying to open up more about the things I face day to day with it with my family.
Also (most likely) trans or at least nonbinary and uhhh welllll there's a reason the only people I've asked to use he/him are my sister and my younger cousin.
Guilt trippin? Gas lighting?
Ohh
Like how you tell parents you can have a trans child or a dead one.
@@SB-iy9vnDo you even know what Gulit Tripping and Gaslighting are? 💀
@@NovaNoah._.Studios What i've stated is the Literal definition Of gasling
@@SB-iy9vn Gaslighting is manipulating someone, telling someone to respect and be there for their kid is not a form of “Gaslighting.”
Or you can not have a father like you.@@SB-iy9vn
What a lot of people do not know, is that being transgender is for some people that they have (if it's ftm) a female body but a male brain. It's not just a thing we can get over, because those are feelings and you cannot just change how you feel.
Yeah if we could not bring terfy transmedicalist bullshit into this conversation that would be great because the shit that you're saying literally is just transphobic.
100%
thank you, this has been scientifically proven since earlier than the 90’s
If I feel suicidal, people should just let me die then.
@@alextran1104 if you feel this way, you tend to talk it out with someone, like all things that change in one's life, safety is the priority for oneself and others
My youngest is trans and I love him no matter what!
If my future kid told me they were trans I would say
“Get in the car. We are shopping right now for new stuff for you. And me”
People (parents especially) usually have a very hard time understanding an actually very simple concept:
IT'S NOT, ABOUT YOU.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
It may not be about them, it could just be a reaction of fear for their child. A parent is a parent at the end of the day no matter no matter what. They may not always say or do the right things at first, and may say things they don't always 100 percent mean. As we are all human, and we all say things we don't mean at the time when we receive news like this. That's the thing, all of you guys seem to just want to parents to just react with just all of this support. You expect them not to be scared or ask any questions and just say, OOOO IM SO HAPPY for you. Or Ohhhh this is 100 percent great news for you. But no not every parent is the same, parents get shocked, scared, terrified even. This parent raised this child, this parent has known her child for many years as one way, one gender, their whole life. And for many parents, it's like a punch to the gut from their child, to them it's like losing the child they always knew as one way.
@@MJAYZ007 3 words. No one cares.
@@ktm1125 apperently you guys must if you use this moment to talk like the only one to blame from a 10 second story is the mom. You don't know the whole situation as it's only said one way.
@@MJAYZ007 oooohhhh trans people so scary.
@@CDart13 trans people are not scary from what I can tell. In fact I know quite a few trans people who would agree that transition for kids and teens isn't the way to go.
My child came out to me when they were 7. My response was " H&M is having a sale on sundresses, Do you want to go get one?" That was a healthy response I think.
It was not about your Mom or how she feels. She is the adult and you were the child. You needed and deserved her support. She dropped the ball.
As a side note, I later came out as Nonbinary. Seeing my child blossom gave me the courage to be my authentic self too. I think some people who are Trans that were shamed into staying in the closet by thier parents,can get very sensitive when they see the younger generation be the brave ones. It's very scary.
Brave ones
More Like doing it just for the attention
@@SB-iy9vnBro, do some research-
@@NovaNoah._.Studios Try to be realistic
Try using your brain
@@SB-iy9vn Bruh💀 I'm hard-headed, bro, wtf
@@SB-iy9vn Its ironic hearing people who know literally nothing about the matter say "try using your brain".
I came out as bisexual to my parents and they did not give a shit. They wes just like.........okay.
Because they had realized that they have failed as a parent and that you are a failure to everyone you know
Whether or not you are trans or gay or bisexual or any other member of the LGBT+ community, It is YOUR body, YOUR life, so they should focus on seeing you as their child that they raised and not an alien.
If gender is a made up social construct not based in objective facts, then how do you know you are trans?
I agree, but your parents shouldn't make you feel inferior because of how you feel.
Your parents job is to guide you, because if you woke up today as an 18-year-old and identified as a 50 year old that does not make you 50
@@ShadzVibezthe thing is if they don’t accept their child they are denying that child’s happiness for Trans folk it means they just have to live with gender dysphoria which nukes their mental health or a queer person who will never know true love
Clearly mom DOES see her as her child or as a Christian, wouldn't have responded with such pain. Was it the "right" response? Maybe not. But the ONLY person that has the right for THAT opinion is MOM.
The grown child ALSO needs to be supportive of her mother instead of mocking mom's reaction online and publicly. Mom clearly needs time, patience, love and support from her daughter.
my mum is 100% like this. she doesn’t want me being anything but a girl and with the amount of times that i’ve come out to her, she still doesn’t understand me. it’s like she doesn’t want me to be happy and to be myself
@@bethezebra I can't tell if you actually believe this about yourself or you are making fun of her?
@@bethezebra ....can you enlighten me on what even a Zoo-y is? Because I have no idea what that is I mean do you believe that you are an animal or something?
@@MJAYZ007 I don't believe op identifies with she/her pronouns?
@@MJAYZ007 no I've replied to you in other comments and I will say this person is either making fun of the LGBTQ+ community like BAD or they are serious and that's a WHOLE other problem
@@labyrinth4799I just WANNA KNOW WHAT the heck that means...
This made me think of the time i told my mom that her transphobia towards me was really harmful and she told me, and i quote, "you being trans is worse for me than it is for you". Ive been no contact for a year now and say i only have a dad, no mom.
I hope she gets better over time. Not just for your sake, but for hers.
tbh,call my a 10 year old but say,womp to the fucking womp
Its not about the parent, parent needs to chill and learn how to love their child better. No wonder child wasn’t okay
Let’s get this straight honestly it is up to the parent everything they fought for was for you they carried you for 9 months and keep you with them for 18 years even long and they are always the ones to have your back and plus you are nothing without the parent because that’s what is inside you honestly should have took the plan c with your ass one kick down the stairs while you were in the belly
it's not rocket science to know what the LGBTQ+ community goes thru just by being them. most parents are aware of that, and that's why they don't want their kids to be that.
@@tlogsdon38 So the parents get to decide their kids identities? They get to treat their kids like shit?
You’re a transphobe and a bigot, you don’t know if the person telling the story was a child, don’t use that sort of language, as it caused to get generational trauma, PTSD, and an anxiety attack
@@tlogsdon38 Yup, true. It's completely up to the parents if they want their children to feel trapped inside of their own body! These parents who don't support this are just trying to suppress something that the child will just end up making happen later in life when they move out and never talk to their parents ever again.
i would like to say i am not american but my reaction would be i accept you as you are and i will support you to the best of my ability and i would be happy if we could find a way to deal with this together. why is it so difficult for so many no one expects you to be an expert you have to show support and willingness to learn
my mom would whip my ass if i was trans💀💀
This 👏 world 👏 needs 👏 more 👏 people 👏 like 👏 you
They make your own hardest moment about themselves and do not care how much it hurts you.
If after hearing that someone wants to hear a good comming out story to feel like the world is less shit:
I cam out to my mom twice as bi and as nonbinary, my mom has next to no knowledge on queerness and I live in a pretty queerphobic country (not an illigal kind, but very, no rights, and spreading misinformation and fear mongering on national tv kind) and I was sobbing both times, but both times, because I didn't know if this isn't gonna be "too much" and "making stuff up" for her this time, but my mom just hugged me and told me that she loves me, and doesn't care, and just wants me to be happy, and I can do what I want (she was concerned about my plans on top surgery, because she didn't know what that is and if it's safe, but ai explained everything and she's totally ok with it now). I love my mom. Not every parent is terrible. My mom is 62 years old, and from the country we are from and yet she can still be accepting and loving, so if you were loosing your hopes, know that there are people out there of any age who will care for you, and who won't hate you for existing ♡♡♡
My child’s gender identity or sexual orientation is not mine to control nor something they “do to me”.
I want them to be happy in their own skin, full stop!
Well what does your child's ethnicity have to do with the topic you mentioned before about your child's sexuality, those are two different things
@@zzzzzzz2601they said nothing abt ethnicity??
@@somedragonbastard they literally said "I want them to be happy in their own skin" which is a really different topic compared to gender or sexual orientation
@@zzzzzzz2601 thats a phrase used to refer to the whole of the body in general not their skin color? Like walking a mile in someone's shoes doesn't literally mean stealing their shoes until you understand them, feeling at home in your own skin is about being comfortable with your body
@@somedragonbastard but they never even said "feeling at home in their own skin" they said comfortable, even if they somehow said your definition, that still has nothing to do with gender orientation or attraction related to the topic spoken before
My mum was just like " IT'S BECAUSE U WATCHED HEARTSTOPPER, YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO WATCH HEARTSTOPPER ANYMORE" and then I said " I WAS TRANS BEFORE HEARTSTOPPER BUT I WAS IN THE CLOSET"
tell your mum it was the vaccinations that made you trans. No, no, it was the aspartame in the lemonade you drank at 5 yo. Ah pfff, we all know it's the videogames causing this. Either way it's not a phase and your mum better shape up and learn to talk with you about it. Or she'll loose the connection to her child AND she'll never get to meet the awesome adult you're growing into. Love you.
How did you found out you're trans?
@@Sakashixx even if not, if they decided they are trans, it's decision, no way in the world to identify if it's true or not. If no way to identify then it means it's made up
What the actual heck
@@niewiemkurde900People usually know that they're trans because they feel like they're in the wrong body or feel like the opposite gender.
My mother broke my trust completely and left a mental wound that will never fully heal because she practically forced me to come out to my dad when I was NOT ready. She threatened to tell him herself even though I asked her to let me do it when I was ready and even explained that I was scared, but she still refused to listen. I don’t tell her anything anymore and she still wonders why. I don’t have a problem with not wanting to keep secrets from your spouse because you’d feel guilty but I asked her beforehand if I told her would she tell him and she lied to me.
That one 5 year old: THAT MOM IS SO SIGMA!1! 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿
My daughter started telling me she felt like a girl when she was 4 years old (biologically male). She’s 6 now and very secure in who she is. I trust her understanding of who she is and follow her lead. Because I’ll be damned if I ever make my girl feel bad about herself. 🏳️⚧️❤
You're an awesome parent by taking her feeling in and helping her❤
I am so happy for your daughter! I'm sure she will grow up to be wonderful and confident in herself, because you have supported her through her journey so far, and I hope that you will continue to :)
Your son at four felt like a girl and you went along with it? seriously?
@@emmib1388 if they change their mind later, there's not any consequences for that. Better than forcing their kid to be what they want them to be.
@@syro33 if the son has surgery or takes drugs because he 'feels' like a female, there are consequences when he realizes what he did .
When talking about stuff like this you always have to remember that you only hear about the bad parents. There are lots of supportive parents out there.
A mom is not being bad to reject their kid's viewpoint. It's not hate just because it's not affirmation and acceptance. By and large, your parents love you and believing that they are bad because they don't agree on this is unbelievable.
@@corneliadennis2892 I never said anything about that. Although I do believe that, even if the parent doesn't agree, they should still try to make their child feel comfortable and safe.
@@Beartastic_ what is feeling comfortable and safe to you though?
@Melissa Jones I would say probably if people were, even if they're views weren't the same as mine, that they respected my beliefs and let me live the way I want to live.
@@Beartastic_ there you are if you are an adult then yeah love the way you want and raise your kids how you see fit. If you think letting them transition at a young age is ok then ok. But other parent might not be as supportive.
This is exactly what happened with me and my oldest brother (hes ftm and I'm demiboy, nb, and some xenogenders) when my parents found out. They cut him mostly off but i chat with him sometimes.
I got the “well, you’re not doing that in my house” and the “ It’s illegal here anyway” also the “ what are you planning on doing because it’s not like you can magically change your sex” which really hurt me but at the same time I can kind of understand because it’s true, I can’t do that at the moment and I don’t have funding. Also I feel like my mom is just going through denial that her sweet little girl is changing but changes happen whether we like it or not right?
You have the most soothing voice. I love your straightforward clarity and support for queer folks.
As a parent who took YEARS to come to terms with the fact that my "precious daughter" was NOT a girl? That's MY issue, not theirs. That's MY thing to deal with, NOT to put on them. They have more than enough to work through and process and learn to love about themselves and determine what form of expression best suits them and celebrates their beautiful self. MY adjustment to who they truly are is MY JOB to do with myself and others who are NOT my awesome kid, who doesn't need extra pressure from me.
My parents both said "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US!?" I'm bisexual and non-binary...not that I'm telling them the second part especially since I had to come out as Bi in and argument...
@@mysterygirl1606, gods I'm so sorry. You didn't DO anything TO them. You were an honest and authentic person, sharing your true self with the people who most should go to the ends of the earth to protect and love and stand up for you. Their response should have been about how much they love you and will love you no matter what because you are their child. You deserve no less than to be adored and defended for being the one and only you that has ever been or ever will be.
@sirpaillasson2671, I am here to pressure on my kids: WHEN THERE IS A NEED TO. When my children tell me who they are, my job is to BELIEVE them and support them. And if that is hard for me, then it is my job to put aside that difficulty and DO IT ANYWAY. I'm the grown-up, and it is not my job to make my kids' reality harder. It is my job to support my kids, to teach them after THEIR own way.
Do they need pressure to do school sometimes? Yes. Do they need pressure to participate in the household, to get a job, to learn important skills? Sometimes yes. Their progress to be functional adults, to stay healthy, to contribute, to finish what they started: THOSE are the areas where it is my job as a parent to apply pressure to help them succeed.
It is NOT my job to tell them WHO they are. They are not my possessions, and I do not own them, nor do I determine their paths in life: they do.
My kids don't have a "false view of reality," they are the authority on themselves. It is my job to love them, make sure they know they have a safe haven here where they are loved and accepted, and to give them, from that place, a safe launch point into the rest of their lives.
@sirpaillasson2671, it is not my job to tell my children what they like, whom they should or should not date, what hobbies they should enjoy, what movies they should see, what work they should do.
May I offer suggestions? Say, "This maybe a safer option than American football" or the like? Certainly.
May I engage in conversation of, "I think this friend helps you be a better person" or "I see this friend using you"? Certainly.
May I say, "I think computer science might fit your skills"? Certainly.
But they are independent humans. They are their own people. They are 22 years old. My younger son seemed like a good fit for Computer Science. He loathed it. And he finished an Associates in that field, from which we learned it was not a good fit.
It is not my job to be a puppetmaster, nor is it ethical, moral, or right. Nor, I might add, is it *possible*.
@sirpaillasson2671, you are very wrong.
You are right about one thing: I do know what my children are; they are vibrant, smart, empathetic, kind, passionate, caring, beautiful young humans. It continues to be the greatest privilege of my life not just to be their parent but to know such good humans.
I hope that no one who relies on you, who craves your approval, who values your opinion, comes to you to tell you who they are. If it doesn't fit your narrow worldview, you have the potential to cause a great deal of harm in denying them their own self-determination and truth.
Fun Fact: In Greek Mythology, the story behind trans people is that Apollo got really drunk and accidentally gave people the wrong genitalia!
That's what I'm saying!!!
Yet another W for greek mythology
Regardless of the topic, someone imitating their mother like this is not okay. This is disrespectful.
tbh that is the most reasonable response i have ever heard LOL
So an adult having a temper tantrum is reasonable? That would be a normal reaction for a 5 year old who is confused not a grown lady.
Because it makes the child (not necessarily by age but by relationship) responsible for the parent's emotions. It also implies that being trans is a bad thing and that the child chose it and did it to hurt the parent. The parent is putting their feelings, their want for validation from the surrounding community for having "ideal" and "normal" children, (edit to clarify: ideal and normal refering to impossible standards of not having any health issues and not being part of any minorities and not having healthy developmental traits of kids being kids because adults find those traits annoying or embarrassing, such as asking questions, talking without being spoken to, playing, making noise, having needs and wants) first over the child's psychological needs for freedom of identity and a sense of belonging and safety. Under no circumstances should wants be more important than needs.
you literally do get to choose though. you don’t have to transition. were you born with xx chromosomes or xy chromosomes? xx = women, xy = man. that’s it.
@@penny-pasta how tf do u choose ur chromosones, the character selection screen before u were born? 💀
@@icedcoffeeidklol5520 you don’t choose your gender but you can choose to not transition
@@penny-pasta people can transition if they wanna, if it makes them more comfy w their body n stuff, then go ahead. Idrk what ur tryna say in ur 1st reply, if this is just a misunderstanding, i'd like to apologize
@@penny-pasta my sister was born with XY chromosomes
I love how they call us the snowflakes but will always act this way when a trans person is within a 5,000 mile radius of them.
If gender is a made up social construct not based in objective facts, then how do you know you are trans?
@@Tylerd838 personality is also a social construct. you know who you are and how you act and what doesnt feel right! you can put on a different personality infront of different people but you still know that its fake and not your real personality, just like gender identity. you and only you, know what feels right.
@@two_5 gender refers to sex, not your feelings. Your genes don’t give a damn about your feelings.
A few weeks ago I thought about me wanting to be trans and I had no clue what my mom would say
ive met God and he isnt transphobic
I told my mom about my trans friends ans she was so excited to meet him
Now that's the energy we need.
The mum we all need
I had a coworker who was a supportive proud mother of 4 daughters. One of her daughters is a lesbian (I know this is for people coming out as trans, but hear me out). She admitted to me when her one daughter came out she was originally not supportive. And reacted the same way as shown in the video.
But then she sat down and really analyzed why she felt that way. They way she explained it was "I had dreams and expectations from my girls. But my daughter is her own person with her own hopes and dreams. And it wasn't fair or right for me to project that on to her."
The answer as to what's wrong with this is pretty damn simple. Anytime anyone comes to you with an issue about *THEMSELVES* , *any* issue, its about *THAT PERSON* not about *YOU* 🤷♀️🤦♀️
You’re mom is right.
I just told my parents I was *questioning* my gender identity, didnt even come out yet, and they did similar to this. I feel like the parents that do this take it as a personal attack, or that "youre killing their baby (insert agab here)", or any number of things. I recognize that it can be hard for the parents to adjust and get used to, but you're still you, you're the same person, just now you're being truly yourself, and its hard for the parents to see that sometimes if they dont understand or if they are afraid or worried you might "be going down the wrong path". its a problematic behavior that can hurt your relationship more than you being trans will hurt it. I have a sister that I'm really close to, and if anything, this has just strengthened our bond. to anyone that reads this, I know your pain. You'll get through it, you are valid and worthy of every good thing in this world
The first time I came out to my mom, she said "well you're still my DAUGHTER"
I didn't ask her to address me as anything else, I never implied I didnt want to be her child, I didn't do anything wrong imo.
I came out again a few years later, with the same identity and she just didn't reply. She knows I'm gay and acknowledges it but not that im non-binary. I don't care enough to potentially cause drama so I've been leaving it alone
I told dad "Hey there's apparently a name for this thing I identify as! It's cassgender!" He basically said 'Cool'. When I was older I realised I was genderfluid and the reaponse was basically the same 😂
If god wanted me to grow up and have a good future, why did he make my life a failure 💀💀💀💀
My mother said something very similar to this when i accidentally came out as gay. She ignored me for three days, it’s almost been a year and we haven’t spoken of it. She doesn’t even know that i’m probably trans (ftm) yet. If you are going through this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is love, and peace. And i am so proud of you for making it this far
See issue is...they are conditionee to hate this issue...there are 2 ways...if u need her love...stop blaming her...try to change her mind...second if her opinion is zero for u...then cut ties....
I accidentally came out as well and my parents were accepting. After I came out to one of my friends, they became less close to me. The second I put nail polish on, he went on about not liking people who change their pronouns and how making your identity entirely gay is not okay. It’s just freaking nail polish.
If I had my kid come express a mental health issue then there’s no way I would make them feel guilty. I’d be immediately organising the best psychologists I could afford to help them.
ain't God the person who said you trans like bruh 😅😅😅
Why discuss why the reaction was "not okay" that's pretty obvious and doesn't need comment. A better question would be "why does she feel like this?". I watch these videos to try to understand people who have different views than me. I don't see much evidence of people here trying to understand people like the mother in this story who holds a different view to them...
My dad told me that and the best part is I believed him for a long fucking time. I thought something was wrong with me because I "felt something that is clearly not me." Now I'm happily out and finally feel like myself again, thankfully, but he still can't seem to understand or grasp it. We are working on it though.
In my situation, I tried to explain to my mom that being able to actually be the real me would let me be genuinely happy - but then she flipped the whole situation saying that I don’t care about her happiness? ._.
Any tips? Because our relationship is rocky atm to say the least…
I'm in the same boat. Sadly I don't have advice, people who act like this are harder to get to accept. Maybe ask why it bothers her so much
I’d flip it back on her. Does she not care about your happiness? The thing is that you being trans doesn’t affect her happiness in the way it affects yours, or at least it shouldn’t. She needs to unpack why she’s so upset about your decisions. Is she worried about being ostracized?
In a parent child relationship the child's wellbeing should be the priority. It's literally her job to take care of you and therefore your happiness should be prioritized, especially in a case that's clearly about your life choices not hers. If she wanted you to be a doctor and your dream job turns out being a teacher, she would have to arrange herself with it, this isn't much different. Your life your decision.
the only tips i have for you are:
1. the tip of a ballpoint pen signing your emancipation papers
2. the tip of a broadsword being held at your "mother's" throat until she loves her child as is.
@@crawlingnemesis2967Just because you turned out to be a teacher doesn’t mean she has to be happy about it because just like you nobody can tell you how to feel. It also DO NOT mean she should try to make you feel bad about it either. Just don’t bring it up at all if you value that relationship.
That response was completely justified
Who justified you being hateful
@@ll-lllllll me
That's a Real Mom
Just support your fucking kids for who they are. It’s not hard.
If gender is a made up construct, then so is your gender identity.
If gender isn't a made up construct, then your gender identity is a made up construct.
Either way .... gender ideology fails when you challenge it. And if left unchallenged; it ruins lives. Turn back now before it's too late.
Don’t use the word “kid” as not all offspring may identify as kid, edit or delete your comment, as I found that actually offensive and bigoted, 👏no👏transphobes👏zone
No
Detrans
Will rise to take the lgbt out
What if there a drug addicted or a serial killer or a rapist
Listen here buddy I'm 9 years old and I still think that people should be what they want to because we have freedom too
Give your moms phone back kid💀
Bro if my son came to me saying he wants to be a girl I’m taking him to the home depot and giving him lessons on how to be a man instead of freaking out
I’m honestly thankful for my mom, since she found out from my sibling’s tik tok of the name change. Though we don’t say their name change when around parents still, since they haven’t come out yet, Mom got stickers for my sibling with their chosen name on them for their water bottle (Aries is their chosen name, though was originally going to be Ares, but chose Zodiac instead.)
That, and My mom adores my sibling and their BF (a trans male), and finds them so cute together and such. That, and supports our sexuality as well, with me being Omnisexual, and my sibling being Pansexual. Plus, Mom is 99.9% sure she’s Omni as well, but doesn’t do much with sexuality and stuff, since she is with dad.
My child is trans, they’ve been out about 5 years now and I still cry over the thought their childhood was lost to the wrong gender… Pains me so much to learn they lived in a pastel world when they deserved glitter and rainbows!
thats so sweet of you! i feel like not many cis people understand how it feels that most of the life you lived you havent been yourself. missing out on so many experiences from being in the closet it so hard and its amazing to have someone who understands that!!
they aren’t
@@two_5 I appreciate your kind words but acceptance isn’t hard to provide a person, least of all your child.
@@TheBreechie its sad how rare parents understanding their queer children is. especially trans kids
@@two_5 it’s very sad, there is some really ugly-souled, hateful folk out there…
I feel that, for many families we know in a similar position, it’s been a transition that requires a lot of processing and awareness but it’s also one fraught with potential for inadvertent harm… healing from moments of rupture and doing repair work becomes a very important aspect in maintaining, changing and growing the relationship in a meaningfully accepting way…
Families have to breakdown heteronormative cis-oriented perceptions and cognitively restructure things like language, or concepts of sex, gender and identity. Most do the best they can with what they have but mistakes still happen… Some want their child to be their educator and it can come across challenging rather than curious, they may forgetfully use the wrong pronouns while mastering new ones, they’re distracted and accidentally dead name their child, or they speak of a memory that painfully revisits their old gender…. Harm is easy to cause, sometimes there isn’t an intention to cause it but it still happens in the most loving and accepting families…
It’s lovely to see communities like this, they’re educational, accepting, safe and strong!!!
🏳️🌈🫶🏳️⚧️💪
It’s not ok because parents should love and support you no matter what, also you should be able to change your body as long as it’s not harmful to yourself 😊
Changeing your body is the literal definition of harmimg your self
@@SB-iy9vnname how changing your body is harming yourself?! Ya cant because it's not!!!
@@Idontknowwhattosay-rq3zt
Hmm idk does surgery that cuts your junk hurt your body?
@@SB-iy9vn that is surgery ya know the thing that is performed by doctors with medical degrees. It douse temporary harm you ill give ya that but the pain heals quickly 8-10 weeks even then then pain wont be bad near the end (I've had brain surgery I know the pain of surgery and the recovery)
First rule of parenting is love your kids unconditionally
I'm not sure why a gender would hurt anyone?
its wrong because for one, parents should be supportive of their children no matter what. for second, her reaction of *screaming* probably made you feel really scared and uncomfortable.
It's a parents responsibility to educate and raise your children and teach them from what's right and what's wrong.
Your mom is only doing what's right.