Autistic Burnout Explained
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ส.ค. 2023
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd
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Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (TH-camr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
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We live in a neurotypical world, therefore we can’t just ourselves or else we end up isolating ourselves or falling behind. So how can people tell us to be ourselves when it doesn’t benefit us in this world?
see, here’s the beautiful thing. you can only change the paradigm with praxis. to create a world where autistics can be themselves necessitates you, as an autistic, being yourself.
so let loose the magnificent beast within you. refuse to conform. ask a wizard to make you even more autistic. force the Overton window of normalcy to come to you. brother together we are bonded in a holy fight for our peoples freedom and hot diggity dog are we damn well unstoppable
BROTHER, thank you for this one!!! I was hangin on by a thread but with your words you helped me to remember instantly that EMBODIMENT starts with ME just BEING BRAVE enough to be ME, unmasked. It feels like life is pushing me to this point and I'm only now seeing just how much of a holy fight it TRULY IS! To be free and unashamed is to free others like us. Here I go, releasing that magnificent beast with the Wiz. "Autisticnus Maximus!" @@wormisjunkd
we have always associated #autism with our gender
we are also #2Spirit hence the pronouns - 1 man soul & 1 woman soul sharing this singular male 🍆 body
we are #indigenous 🏹 to Europe 🎰 in culture
we find our burnout is rooted in the arbitrary hate that people throw at us because their culture erases our gender
similar to transgender ppl on the gender binary they can’t help but perceive us as disgusting and entitled
they all universally leave you alone to end your own misery alone cause you’re not a person to them
#ottawa
edit: we trigger #audhd into the sum of their indigenous erasure it’s why we appear entitled and arrogant to them
no they’re just Abrahamic in culture (atheists included)
@@wormisjunkd Yeah. I’ve really started noticing my strengths definitely don’t lie in the mundane. And perhaps it’s best not try and walk a mundane and neurotypical path because on that path I’ll be at a constant disadvantage. But on a path of my own, I can rely on my inherent strengths, rather than try to cover up my inherent weaknesses.
Well, I went 73 years before discovering the Autism Spectrum and my little place on it.
Burned out several times but I managed to survive.
I took long walks all by myself.
I bought a workbook about cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety and depression, and drove miles away to find a picnic table or I went to a big library or just sat in the car. Had to be alone.
Wrote all kinds of things brought up by the workbook.
I have never gone back to read what I wrote.
The only people I saw were in gas stations and I made it a point to smile at the clerks and wish them a happy day.
It all helped.
I feel so much better now that I know why I think and react so differently. What a relief to know the why and wherefore of my life!!!!!!!
I can also recommend taking a small picture frame out on walks, and stopping to look at pieces of the world thru the frame and thinking how moving the frame a little one way or another can make a weed, or tree stump, or crack in the pavement look like a satisfying piece of art.
Also, try smiling at yourself in the shower or lying in bed and turn your brain off and just feel your face smile! It is sort of amazing how calming that is.
😊 thank you!
What a wonderful comment! Thank you 🙏🏻❤
Awe thank you
Absolutely beautiful, and brilliant words. As a younger Autistic currently in burnout, thank you for sharing your story, inspiring SO much hope in me, and offering such practical advice. I have found great comfort and delight in it.
Thank you so much for sharing 💗💗
After working four and a half years on my local crisis team as a peer worker I quit, within a month of learning about masking. Once I started to truly acknowledge my masking everything fell apart really quickly. This was a couple years ago now thankfully. These videos always speak on an experience no one around me speaks on. Thank you.
I can relate in a way in terms of what you said about masking and everything falling apart after learning about it. Can you please (if it’s okay) elaborate on that situation so I can please possibly have a better understanding of myself, will be really appreciated, thank you.
@@jackr819 Sure. I was hired to work on a crisis team per recommendation from a friend that worked at the company, I got this position because I masked myself as a professional. In the last year of my employment I had reached a boiling point, countless supervisor visits for pointless infractions. for example, though most coworkers in the office at some point during the day took their shoes off, I was the only one reprimanded for it and was directly told not to never take my shoes off inside. There were so many frustrating moments with HR support and very questionable supervisors. It wasn't until I joined a small group of other peoples that talked about autism and adhd masking--regarding their personal experiences--, soon everything made too much sense, why I acted the way I did and was exhausted afterwords, ect. Finally I had a way to express these complex feelings and experiences I never could before. Yet all of my neuro-typical coworkers and supervisors just saw a crazy person getting crazy. All in all the experience that has been the most difficult has been re-experiencing my whole life moment by moment yet with a new masking and autism experience awareness. Like looking a old childhood photos with a new special lens that reviles more about what's in the picture. I couldn't work 40 hours talking to people in their crisis anymore, I had to work through my own.
I had a similar experience in a peer role and yes after I left that job everything came crashing down in about 4-6 weeks. I had no idea how much I had been masking to cope or even that I was masking. These videos are helping me so much in understanding myself and my experience.
Thank you for describing how I’ve feel feeling for the last year. Constant state of burnout that i can’t ever get a full handle on. This is important stuff 💜
Thanks for educating the neurotypical world about this important matter.
It's good for other neorodiverse individuals as well. I live with a neorodiverse person but living together is a struggle 'cause they spend 99% of their time in their room either sleeping or playing video games when they are home. It's very overwhelming since it ends up with me doing 99% of the household chores which sometimes includes taking care of their plant & pets. (She has 1 plant & 4 pets).
I'm at that point. No support. I've been at that point, no support. I'm going to be stuck at that point for the foreseeable future. No support.
Feelin ya! Been broken a few years now..
i feel you. i’m sorry you’re going through this, i’m also at that point. it’s been years for me now and it’s frustrating because i’m at the prime of my life and have so much ahead of me, but i’m stuck in a dark room. i’ve learnt that no one will support us, unfortunately. it’s only us, so i’m trying to finally get life together this year. although all my previous attempts failed, i’ll surely get back on track :) life is too big for me to be stuck in a small room
As an autistic person, I can never explain to allistic people that no matter how hard I try, if I am in an autistic burn out I will not do any work you give me and I will not want to engage in conversation. This happens in school and lately it’s been so tiring. Like I have multiple big projects but I’m way too mentally, physically, and emotionally tired to care. I want to have a job and I don’t want to fail school, but it’s so hard with the world we live in.
I have that kind of burnout during school confusing anxiety and very much don't know what to do
Right there! Right now! Also, have no idea how to explain my way out of these difficulties with dealing with people. Now, i just cannot function. Thank you for addressing this: what can we do???????
Check out the strategies in the full length video.
I hate how there’s a few people like you in the world who understands us, people either misunderstand people like us or don’t care to understand people like us
If I “be myself”, then that means staying in my comfort zone, which then means isolating myself and staying in bed all day. But when I try to push myself, this burnout happens. What is there to do?
Find something to do like a creative hobby or freelance work that doesn't involve leaving your room, unless under extremely necessary circumstances
Try working out in gym riding a bike
Stroll
Things that might help...Find supports that work for you. Wear ear plugs/head phones in noisy places. A hat or sunglasses for florescent light or if able ask for lights to be turned down. Limit the time you socialize with the expectation you may need alone time after, and don't do it if you are struggling that day. Some fidgets help. Stim a lot to relieve stress. Sometimes it is hard to figure exactly what is so overwhelming if you have been masking for so long, so figuring it out can take time. Try to find a group of friends who support you in your mask (be willing to parellel play and not expect conversation). Hope this helps
That sounds an awful lot like depression
this happened to me. i stopped caring for myself: not eating, not showering or brushing my teeth (for months on end), even stopped going outside, and stopped having social interactions with people my age. school overwhelmed me so much along with other things from life that i completely shut down. i’m still like this and it’s been years now but i am getting better this year (not fully healed, but getting there)
I do this routinely. I never know why. I’m not diagnosed but I see these things in me more and more. Not sure how a diagnosis would help me so I’m not doing it. I crash and restart my life about every 4 years. Each time reinventing myself. It’s been very hard on loved ones. Lost many. But I’ve “lived” many interesting lives this way.
Holy Shite , I finally figured out I’m Autistic ….. Thank You 😮
Best of luck with everything my friend, I genuinely hope this helps you navigate this world for the betterment of your health!
I wonder if I have that... I am in evaluation for autism right now, even though it's slow, and I am barely alive in battery power.
Anyone else get exhausted after brushing hair? I leave my hair so long and its a frequent cycle . It hurts so much
I haven’t brushed my hair in 4 months I think 🤔 You can cut it pretty short and it is much easier to maintain
Omg cutting my hair short was the biggest game changer highly recommend !
Yea but while I am on the spectrum it’s mainly bc my hair is so freaking curly and long
@@kewoshk thank you I cut it shorter, much better ☺️
i cut just a couple of inches off long hair and it saves heaps of effort and pain.@@CraftyMamaBean
Very very familiar to me
This is exactly it!
My family doesn't really take me seriously when im saying that I'm burned out because I'm in an 'easy' year of school thats actually very overwhelming. There's basically no predictability this year
After stopping the masking I haven't had an instance of burnout.
Very well explained! It's so hard trying to explain to others what I'm going through. This video sums it up so nicely. Thank you for all your videos and advocating for the autistic community! :)
I have had a huge multi-year burnout after my first first full time job. Now I work part-time for myself and it is much better, but I still experience mini versions of burnout that can last from a couple days to a couple months after social events, the busy holiday season, travel, or the end of larger life projects.
GAWD FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS WHY I DO THAT😭
I basically pushed myself too long to others expectations of me for 30 years with several burnouts in between. Now I’m in one big burnout and want to do literally nothing with extra complications
🙏Thank YOU ❣❣❣
Just hearing you say this gives me comfort
In a world where comfort is almost impossible to come by
Thank you❣
Ye, today my mum told me I couldn't have my 3 hour long bath that I've had every Thursday after my hirse riding lesson since my brother moved out over a year ago. I couldn't have this long bath because he needed one to, I had alot of changes happen in school today too, new teacher, being put on cover ect ect. So my mum said I was being so over dramatic because its just a shorter bath. But I don't think she realises the impact that had in my daily/weekly routine
Do you have any advice to get out of burnout?
Absolutely. Check out the strategies in the full length video.
Thanks for the validation, I really needed to hear this right.
I am slowly learning i am in a state of autistic burnout been diagnosed with high functioning
Autism and severe ADHD with learning disability as a child and now as a adult I’m kinda get burnout from social interaction and having weird stuff having to happen to me like today
Yes😊😊😊
I am not doubting this phenomenon. I am autistic and feel I experience this. However, as you described it, this sounds like regular burn out all humans feel. We need a video detailing why Austitic Burnout is different.
Not all humans struggle like we do. Usually when neurotypical people burn out they have extenuating circumstances like losing an important person, being overloaded at work or similar. Also, neurotypicals have strategies, they advocate for their needs, they dont have the high baselines for stress that we do, they understand the world more intuitively, taking less effort, neurotypicals burn out in one part of their life, in autists it's more global.
Well said indeed.@@ravenspace
I didn’t think there was so many of us that have autism and have there’s struggles
When I was a teen, LOVED going out at night, walking, riding my bike, or driving. However I am sensitive to excessively bright lights, and nowadays i loathe night driving because of the super illuminating headlights. Sometimes as the driver, running errands late in the day in town, by the time I get home I am burned out and just need to sit on the bed, or in a chair in the darkness and let my eyes heal and brain decompress.
And I can never tell when that is going to happen......until it does!😒
oh I know now I'm burnt out now I know what and why everytime I go out for 5 hours I'm nearly falling asleep because of exhaustion . neurotypicals just don't understand.
I’ve been in burnout for about a year. My body is being very stubborn.
Im here. I cant get my dishes done and no one will listen. Im alright. Just burned out
I am getting checked for ADHD and autism at the moment since I’ve had lots of trouble with school (I don’t go to school at the moment) and generally everday life and social interactions. I many times can’t understand the need for talking about meaningless things and usually have a hard time acting like I am actually interested or listening at all. I get really tired after being out in new environments and meeting new people to the point where I get ‘meltdowns’ as my mom calls them. I basically get very fatiqued and stop speaking since my brain can’t deal with it at the moment? There’s many times where I’ve hung out with a friend for a few hours and then need the rest of the day and the next by myself to recover. Is there a possibility this is related to neurodivergency? (Sorry if I didn’t explain it well enough. My first language isn’t english)
Would be better with less flickering text (trigger) and slower speach, especially for non natives
As a person who is in a new relationship with a man who has autism how do I support him during burnout times?
being autistic sounds like i feel my ADHD tbh
Autism and ADHD are both quite similar, also, someone can be autistic and have ADHD
As a NT wife I have a question. What should be done if ND spouse cannot take on any home or childcare responsibilities without burning out? I am left to do everything (not exaggerating sadly) myself while he spends most of his day isolated from us doing special activity. I want to help him but also want him to participate in family life and be involved with our children…
Hey. That really sucks, but it doesn’t have to. I think starting small could help. Have you tried talking to him about it when moods are good? Also, maybe present 2-3 smaller or easier tasks to him, and let him choose which one he’s comfortable with. See how that goes for a bit. If it doesn’t work well, he can try a different task that may work better. Also Explain to him that it will 9/10 make him feel better about himself as well once things are accomplished.
how long can i live in burnout, its been 3 years already, only diagnosed this time last year. solo parenting with no support. Feel like i wanna not wake up. what can i do?
I admit I may sound like a jerk saying this but my best advice is to find a support network. So friends, family, medical professionals, mental health professionals, counselors/therapist, social groups. Just anything to have a connection with another person.
@@HaruDoneYet working hard on this, i 'look good on paper'(=white, bright, articulate and have a house and a healthy child) and given that i was masking for 50 years and been diagnosed for 1 year, it's a struggle, mums death ten yr ago when my daughter was only 2yrs started my slide into dysfunction, cuzzies resent that i as an only child inherited the house and my father has a deep and unacknowledged resentment of me since birth and was always one of my main tormentors growing up.Took ages and lots of $$$ to get dagnosed. have gp and social worker but still hard.
nobody i've yet spoken personally with seems to have an understanding of either late diagnosis or the deep levels of autistic burnout. my trust of anyone let alone new people is at an all time low.
Literally having one right now waiting to hear back if I got this 6 figure job I applied for. He’s suppose to call anytime now. 🤞🤞🙏
Lol I saw the thumbnail and assumed you were Australian right away knew it Australian men have this particular nose shape for some reason
😢
Hey Orion, I sent you a message about a month ago in regards to being a cousin or yours but never heard back. Do you answer your emails? Also how do I purchase some books for family, friends and relatives all in the spectrum? I will need a out 40 books shipped to California. 😊😊
Hi, I'm sorry I didn't receive that email. My book is available on Amazon.
My percentage diagnosis for the spectrum was 8 to 9 percent only, and I have an I.Q. of 182. For that reason, I am extremely intelligent, and I'm very aware of how to act properly. However, for my entire life, I've been discriminated and accused for being different than others, not because of the spectrum, but because of people who don't care about me. I'm as normal as anyone else, because I can get along with someone if I was only given the chance to be their friend, but nobody wanted me. If only I was appreciated and accepted for the good things about me, then I would know that someone cares. It's a shame to go through this world alone, and many people are still disregarding us as if that's how we're supposed to stay. Life is not difficult strictly because someone is on the spectrum, it is because of the lack of help from others that don't care, so it's our circumstances that leave us as we are. People think that we're deranged, but the truth is, we are the real victims of getting shunned and distrusted in society, whether we like it or not. No matter how nice we are, it's because of the carelessness of people around us who don't accept us for who we are. I've been under isolation for the last few years, because I'm struggling to get ahead, I'm failing to get employed for not having a college degree, and I don't have relatives or friends that I can be with on a daily basis. I'm wasting the best years of my life without anyone, and I'm devastated, but nobody cares. One step at a time, I am succeeding, but I'm moving very slow. I'm tired of stress, and I'm tired of being lonely without anyone beside me everyday. I hope I can eventually see the day when I can finally be happy, and that's the day when someone kind and caring really wants to be my friend.
I'm hungry but I choose to drink wine because food is getting me comfortable and I prefer to stay on the edge because it's easier not to fluctuate, fuxk
Ex fricking zactlally
😂😂😮😅😊😊😊
Well Orion I have to say everyone gets to a point of burnout, it's just that Autistic folk like my son get there quicker and maybe a little more often. Obviously It's all part of emotional regulation and with practice it can be made less of a problem. At my sons school he has a place where he can go if things are starting to overwhelm him, but this is getting less and less because he doesn't want to miss out on whats happening in his class so he's unconsciously learning to have more control of how he feels because he's eager to participate. Anyway that's us and maybe not every person on spectrum.
TIMMAH
??
Your Australian accent caught me off guard