Autistic Burnout Exposed - Unlocking the Secrets to Thrive Again
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ค. 2024
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore the topic of Autistic Burnout. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike
⏱ Index:
00:00 - Welcome
00:33 - What is Autistic Burnout?
02:01 - Causes
04:56 - Experiences
11:12 - Strategies to Avoid
19:03 - Strategies to Navigate Out
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (TH-camr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD
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I wonder if autistic burnout is much more pronounced in those of so many of us who remained undiagnosed for so long, when we had nothing to attribute our struggles and challenges, and sense of being different, to, and had nothing to explain or even call this phenomenon. I think this lack of knowledge of being autistic can be the most difficult thing for autistic people.
100% agree with this. I was diagnosed late after trying for decades to deal with meltdowns/anxiety, and couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get better.
I agree in part, because what I have been learning from the autistic communities on reddit, is that many people that learned early on, are still taught (therapies or family) to mask. Many places (maybe most?) consider autism a childhood condition, and that once people turn 18, it doesn't even matter if they got there with or without diagnosis, autism is simply gone once people become adults... So I have been finding an alarming amount of people that try to be "normal" for as long as they have the strength to do so, which is what i did without diagnosis. In these cases, it's a complete and very common lack of understanding and support.
From my experience, this is a very easy "trap" to fall into even for people that are diagnosed, because we are pretty strong until our 20-30s. We are also taking shape as adults, and learning so we push to mask heavily because there are moments when masking works giving the illusion that we are becoming normal... And we can do it more and more for a decade or two, until we can't... when age+exhaustion catch up to us... and for the next decade or two, most of us keep doing it anyway in hope that it will get easier again, but it only gets harder now to mask, it never makes us "normal", and we eventually burnout badly.
So I would like to know statistics, because of how many younger people (already diagnosed) I see in these communities following the same dangerous path that I did (not knowing). We need medicine to catch up and support autistic people properly...
Maybe you’re right. I’ve been going thru it today. Crying and feeling like I’m going crazy…. I just don’t know 😢
I feel immense guilt about having not done anything during my time off work, but the truth is, I'm suffering from extreme burnout and I just need to sleep and be away from people and not doing anything for a while, just to recover. Unfortunately then I'll have to go straight back to work. It's relentless, I don't feel like I ever get to be myself or do the things that I want to do because I'm always too tired.
If I want to have a holiday then I basically have to book a week off work to recover from burnout, and then another week after that to have the actual holiday (which will probably exhaust me if it involves doing new things and organising stuff and being around people).
I dropped out of my Masters degree 95% completed because of Autistic burnout. Didn't know I was on the spectrum back then. It's still difficult to accept failure especially when it's linked to an unfinished issue....even now years later. My way out was complete withdrawal. Moved out of my appartement into the attic of my grandmothers didn't do anything but think. Merely existing not living. It was one of the worst periods in my life but it was 100% necessary. I guess my advice is, if you can, go to a monastery (or the like) for as long as it takes to process. A place with strong routines minimizing exposure to demands. Once you are out of the burnout pick up Yoga as a regular routine. Some physical exercises with a focus on breathing, mindfulness and acceptance can not be overstated as an incredibly powerful tool for Autists.
THIS. I shut out the world for over seven months.
I did the same thing. Got right up to the end of my masters program and it all fell apart. That was 30 years ago. I had no idea I was autistic at the time either and had to muddle my way through it. I had to find work and pay the bills. I had no real time or space to recover. I still haven't found it, I guess.
@@nonnymoose6260 I'm told I'm selfish and self-centered by my SO all the time. I have to let it go. I have no hope of getting away as much as I need. I don't think I will ever recover from this burnout phase. There is just no way to get far enough away.
I was in RN school and had a panic attack and quit. I was soooo burned out of people, group projects, trying to cope in social settings. I'm glad to see I'm not alone.
I made it thru my masters but jsut barely. Looking back it was definitely burnout and a lot of bridge burning to go with it. I'm still not diagnosed but I knew for sure I had some mental illness I couldn't hide from in the ivory tower.
Great advice Orion. I think your point that autistic people should avail themselves of supports and ask for accommodations BEFORE they reach the point of burn out is very important. I lost a great deal of functionality after a devastating burnout episode prior to diagnosis and 5 years later I’m finally learning that self care and putting my needs first is essential not just preferable for me as an autistic person. ✌️💕🌻
I guess it depends on where you live. There is no support available for some people.
I tried asking for accommodations at work before I burned out but was denied because I wasn’t in distress.😢
@michele219 that's terrible! I've been there too...that's why one of the reasons I am not working right now. 😢
@michele219 I was told to stop talking about the ADHD/autism thing to my colleagues and just act normal. After five burn-outs (I'm 56) I have huge problems concentrating. Reading a book is pretty much impossible now. I used to read several books a week 😢
@@Htrac😢😢
Awesome video. I'm 58 and only found out 2 months ago that I"m autistic. I always wondered why others got pumped up in social situations and I felt like it was sucking the life out of me.
Welcome to the tribe!!!!
Welcome to my world.
Right there with ya! I only recently came to realize I am autistic and I will be 56 this year. And always wondered why I was so different from everyone else.
50 and just found out, too. It's like a black hole in the center of my mind is being explained finally.
@@this-that57yes! I have 20 years more than you, but i so identify!
For the record, I'm an Autistic adult about to turn 24. It's been so weird getting so many autistic youtubers in my feed. Being born and raised in Texas, for the longest time my only perception of autism has been from TV shows or how neurotypical and ableist people practically describe sloth from The Goonies. I've ALWAYS struggled with imposter syndrome because of this, like I've never felt disabled enough to mention it or bring it up and when I do, I suddenly stop being human to others and become the little brother even though I'm more "functional" than them a surprising amount of the time.
But it genuinely makes me so genuinely happy seeing other Autistic people that are just like me with similar issues and tendencies. Like it's been a huge weight that's been lifted and lately I've been feeling more secure in myself. So uh, thanks for existing? haha
Happy Birthday!🎈🎁🎉🎂🎊
@@Shnikey Your timing on that is scary lmao, it was this past weekend. thank you! 😂
@@grumplo3321 you are very welcome! yay for good timing. 🙂
I feel the weight lift sensation too. That others struggle really fucking hard as well. It helps. It's calming.
💕💕
i'd be cool to have a video about having no support, cause it's really disheartening everytime ppl bring that up like "it's really important to have a support net and blablabla".
I scrolled down and found the reply that i identify with! I agree with the video, but if i had been told this 10 years ago, as well as been told that i had autism back then... as opposed to learning last year, just as my burnout started (and going strong). I am past these steps, since my life as I always knew it is over, and I don't even know how to unmask. But I appreciated this description of burnout.
You're so right - very sadly. I also don't know what to do at this point... We probably need to hang in there and wait for better days and maybe a wonder 🤷
I relate. There’s no support for some people. I wish😅
Oh man I love 'going in a cave' made me laugh. I'm laughing and sad as I finally, at 63 , am realizing I'm autistic, I figured ADHD a few years ago. I'm a woman with high IQ, but quite a crazy life. Not all bad, but some serious challenges. You are a life saver
Yes.😊😊😊
Stress is a killer, don't forget, slow murder/suicide if not controlled, best antidote is solitude, deep breathing exercises w super quality diet/music while appreciating your autistic gifts and picking "friends" very wisely ~~
Absman: ..... YES! Everything, especially on picking friends. You can be destroyed by associations. Never accept as a friend a person who lies about you , even one time. ...... Foods can really help if more natural and low in sugar. Proteins seem to help me.
Orion, You've laid this out in a way that is easy for the neurotypicals to comprehend autistic burnout but also help us understand ourselves. Chronic burnout is hard yakka. Helping people comprehend what it is and how to help us (and themselves!) is definitely the way forward!
When I'm really burned out, or a meltdown interrupts my day (sometimes more than once..), I have come to realize that I forget all those things that help, I forget who it was that told me to call them when I'm not okay, so having a chart or journal on hand with a list of things for meltdown, burnout, and daily self care. A dot journal helped me immensely as I had paper everywhere before that system was in place.
I feel like personal organizational systems aren't emphasized enough anywhere, for anyone, but I believe that personal organization systems are part of the key to having that structure and routine that we all crave and often times need.
Thank you for your wonderful work and advice, its invaluable
I hope you're feeling much better! You're a treasure.
💖
Dear Orion
For your own encouragement, this video will become an essential part of my autistic toolkit. It explains everything I have experienced in burnout so well - far better than I could relate it to anyone else. I have saved it to replay for my own benefit and to explain to others what they just cannot grasp. Many thanks. Keep up the good work. CD
Me too
Me three! Thanks, Orion!
Same here. I kind of know how to navigate it, but trying to communicate with significant others what my needs are is a huge hurdle. This video sums it up pretty well.
Yep. It's just so good ❤
I'm autistic with a visual impairment and your videos have been really helpful for understanding both my condition and myself as an autistic person. This video was exactly what I needed to see in my current mental state. Shit's been real rough for the past month or and I've been in burnout for awhile now so I hope this can help me.
Thanks for doing what you do. I really mean it.
I feel your pain. I've been limping through a burnout for years. I've been able to 'successfully' mask my way through for a long time, but I no longer have the energy.
This is THE BEST video on autistic burnout I have ever watched. It talks about all the stages. It talks about how it feels, and how easy it is to fall into and steps to take to avoid it or recover. As a late identified autistic this is crucial. The only thing I would add is, each person has their own internalized timeline for ending it. The burnout that ended my career took over 5 years to recover from.
I think every burndown, i cannot even over years, get back. Like negative stairs but exponentially intensified by magical memory of the pinnacle apex of one brief spike .....
And then, the skill minimum circle is drawn just above that miraculously perceived entitlement to demand social output for all an autistic's ridiculously excessive appropriation of air and space
Stop trying to accommodate allistic special needs and just be alive. Find joy in experiencing life, and you bring joy to those of any neurology who deserve to share.
It sometimes takes all of my concentration and energy just talking to someone.Half an hour of conversation leaves me mentally and physically exhausted and sometimes if a third person says something to me during a conversation my brain can’t cope and I literally can’t understand what they’re saying.
Autistic burnout led me to getting diagnosed recently. Still in it. Trying to practice radical self-acceptance, self-love and meditation ❤
Hey Orion. I am 38 years old, and five months ago, I found your Autism vs Introversion video. That was a massive light bulb moment for me, where I started to realize that I am actually autistic. I binged through more of your content after that, and for some days I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.
Since this started it's been an intense process of research and connecting the dots for me, and I'm 110% convinced this is the case.
I am starting a formal assessment in two months, and I feel like I'm very well prepared.
Your content was the trigger that started it all for me, so I would like to say thank you, and I want you to know that you are making a difference!
Been in this for years... didn't know until now. I just thought something was wrong with me, been trying so hard to fix it all.... while all the masking I'm doing was killing me. Never realized the depth of anxiety and stress I carry, like it hid in the background. Now I see it, thank you. 🙏
I’m there 6:25
What are your symptoms
I found the therapists really had no idea how to help, often suggesting things that you know don't help but they refuse to accept that.
Also, avoiding sensory overload is difficult when you need to go to the grocery shop. I know you can go online but they don't have everything online. I need to go to the shop to get food, find the cheap items, cheaper items etc.
I'm definitely in burnout.
You need a different therapist
I found a therapist who specializes in autism. She's been helpful. Unfortunately, we have to live in a world that's difficult for folks like us to navigate. Learning those coping skills is difficult. Especially when you are all burnt out like a cinder.
@@Slim_Chiply do you get pain with it everyday muscles for me
@@Truerealism747 I have pain. I call it psychic pain because I don't know how else to describe it. It's kind of a physical manifestation of my mental pain. It's nowhere and everywhere at the same time. It's mostly a dull pain, but it can also be painful.
@@Slim_Chiply mines in my muscles everyday ime getting a jaw splint apparently it's linked are you hypermobile it's
I never had autistic burnouts until i developed cptsd and severe insomnia.
Problem was I didn't get the autism diagnosis until I was in such a bad burnout I may never recover.
💔😢🙏🙏🙏
@@joycebrewer4150 thank you joyce
That's my fear do you have pain late diagnosed to
@@Truerealism747 there is some physical pain from the increased sensory sensitivity. Mostly mental anguish. I'm finally past suicidality and starting to recover but as I say in my book, I feel like I have been smashed into a thousand pieces and will never be as resilient as I was before.
the activity component is so important. nothing grounds me better than reminding my body that it exists!
This all gets more complicated as an AuDHDer, since we have trouble maintaining routines as it is let alone with burnout lowering our executive functioning that much more. Staying on stimulants and trying to force focus actually makes it worse, you need like a full brain break but can't maintain your own routines which help with the stability you need since we usually have to expend so much mental energy to do so and now don't have said mental energy....ugh. Let alone *remembering* anything about how to recover when you're in burnout, since our memory doesn't work like that, so we probably won't even be able to figure out what to do and will be lost in haze
"learn to say no. Simple" comes across as pretty condescending, since for people with fawn trauma/cptsd (aka...a fuck ton of late dx masked autistics who have been conditioned to please others first and put their own needs second) it is FAR from simple and that seems quite an insulting way to phrase that, similar to if someone told you to just "learn not to have sensory overload. Simple!". It's a trauma response/sympathetic nervous system response, not a rational response, so there is no simple way to 'learn to say' anything when blood has left your logic centers and flooded your amygdala and adrenaline rushes your body while fight/flight imperative isscreaming "SAFTEY = FAWNING, SAYING NO= MORTAL DANGER" so yeah
💯this
Thank you for this excellent video, I think it covered pretty much everything! 😊
My problem is that my partner is my biggest trigger, he talks all the time! I need DAYS after we’ve met to just be myself again, to think my own thoughts and have some quiet for emotional regulation, because all focus is on his thoughts all day long when we are together.. I lose myself totally. I’m exhausted by this circle, I don’t think I can do this relationship thing.
You need to sit down and have a talk and just tell it like it is,if he loves you he’ll understand,from there you can both adapt and make it work.
I'm glad this vid came out. especially today. I've been experiencing 99% of every example you gave for the last 5 or so days. It's extremely difficult. I was diagnosed only 10 months ago, I am 26 now and still trying to adapt. Thank you for your content and videos!
Yeah I can relate to a lot of this. Never thought that those days I feel like I can never get enough sleep were related
i had always thot I was different because my life hadn't been mainstream and had a lot of experiences of the unusual. it wasn't until my '60's that i realized i fall under the autistic umbrella and I value your videos in understanding myself - and that my "quirks" are shared by this community. i liked being unique among my circle and it's been a little sad for me that I'm not really unique - but learning why i react/reacted to life has been a good trade-off. my masking skills were excellent, so much so i fooled myself. so many things, from childhood until now, makes so much more sense now
Thank you for this video. it's a very handy thing to send to my friends/loved ones to explain my burn out without having to burn myself out by explaining it
Burnout and trying to self advocate is a nightmare! I especially struggle with health anxiety and not having a good connection to how I feel. I often leave things much later than I should when I dont recognise how severe my pain levels are. For example it took me months to go to get my chest pain checked out. I was diagnosed with clots on both lungs, oops! Thank you for sharing as I have picked up some new techniques to try out. I have been burnt out since my ASD and ADHD diagnosis in 2021 at age 38. I'm finally able to do some basic household stuff but i find no fun in anything and stay home in bed apart from getting my medications and food shopping. I miss nature and outdoor sports 😢 My health and mindset at times can be terrible.
Hope ypu can find an interest like reqding music videos mangas animes or maybe video games. Cooking food. Working out at home 😊
@@turtleanton6539 Thanks, I'm hoping I will gradually start to enjoy doing things I used to like some of the things you mentioned.
Once again, a huge thank you Orion. Late diagnosed (51) having slipped quietly through the cracks in the system here in the UK. Your Channel has been the biggest support that I've had over the last 2 years. I really can't thank you enough.
Me to diagnosed 43 after sons diagnosis
Thank you so much. I found this so helpful. I have been struggling so much more the past year, constantly on the edge of a meltdown, unable to regulate myself. This has helped realise that I really am in an Autistic Burnout, I’ve been thinking for a while that that was the case, but your clear explaining has helped me put the vague, disconnected feeling into a understandable understanding. Thank you, now I can step back, be kind to myself and gradually work on how I handle this situation. Have you ever done a video of sleep, it’s certainly a bit issue for me, especially at the moment. Thank you you have so helped me today.
These are good suggestions but what about those who *can't* get help or support? What if you have absolutely no way to seek support even from professionals? I'm a single solo mom to my non speaking medically complex autistic son. I have no one to watch him, he still needs me to do everything for him and sleeps in my bed. We're together 24/7 and I'm not exaggerating that. I'm so focused on caring for him I can barely care for myself. The only break I've gotten in 5 years was the 3 days I was hospitalized due to a heart attack and acute heart failure. I have to keep going for my son but I also have to bring him with me anywhere I go. Even if I had an adult to talk or vent to, my son would have to be with me and I can't talk about important adult stuff in front of him. Well technically I could but that would not be good parenting so I just can't. I'm so beyond burnt out it's literally kiIIing me and there's no end in sight...
Can he tolerate noice-canceling headphones? With music maybe? For the privacy issue, I'm thinking.
What ways of communication do you prefer?
I'm not a parent but I have the deepest respect for the good, hard work that you are doing obviously. Especially in your situation.
In what country do you live? Is there professional help you can seek online? Are there local autistic networks or meetings?
I may just ask irrelevant stuff. I mean, I get it. Orion's suggestions sound good, but sometimes they just don't ... apply. But I don't want to give up hope that you can get SOME kind of help or support, you know?
Mom on the Spectrum might have some things that would really speak to you, seeing as she's a single mom herself.
Yo Samdy Sam isn't a single mom, but she still parents an autistic child, so she might have input.
Same with Purple Ella.
Olivia Hops might?
I know Meg of I'm Autistic, Now What? has made some mention, but I don't think she's put out a full-fledged video on the topic.
These are all autistic parents that (if my memory serves me right) also have an autistic child, so if you haven't looked into them before, I hope these can be helpful resources also!
I know this is easier said than implemented, but remember: You have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. If you don't take care of yourself first, you might not be around for your son all that long. I'm not saying to neglect, obviously. I'm saying I believe a solution is possible for you and your son. I believe in there being help available and timely. You've made a very good step in reaching out!
please go online and look in your area for support groups. There are other people out there who can help in very real ways. you can’t go on being isolated with so much very personal responsibility and this monumental lack of support 💕💕💕
Great video! One change that has help me a lot is, as a general rule, to eat lunch by myself at work. And only eat with my teammates when I feel I can handle it. And more generally, don't overexpose myself to social situations if I don't feel able to handle.
Before knowing I was autistic, I used to have lunch with my teammates almost every day (and in Spain lunch is always a big, lengthy, noisy social occasion). Most of those day, I ended up in the bathroom stall with the lights off and headphones on simply siting there waiting to regulate. The cubicle's door reaches the floor so most sensory stuff are kept out. I assumed everyone did that.
I've just had to say no to one of my volunteer commitments. It was one too many things that I was doing and something had to change. I was already feeling burned out and finally had to say no more. Some people think self care is selfishness (I've heard it described that way), but it is absolutely needed. Thank you for another great video!
Boy, do I feel that statement! " Some people think self care is selfishness." I had run into financial trouble. Family took me in, but with the expectation: I, of course, would participate all day, every weekday in babysitting 2 grandsons and a granddaughter. Plus church, and socializing the family did. There was some hope in there, I would get a job to help pay bills.
The oldest was definitely autistic, the second suspected. The third just tried to keep up with the older ones. All while I was being pressured to learn deeper masking skills than I already had, though it wasn't expressed that way.
By 3 years in, I was isolating absolutely every moment I could, just to survive. Burned out, you bet! And no let-up in expectations. By then, I finally had my own dx officially.
I had not appreciated how much alone time could be built into a rural lifestyle until I was forced to give it up. I still miss that, though I found a different place to live.
Probably the most validating video I've come across in quite some time. In fact, autistic burnout is preventing me from explaining just how meaningful and deeply important this video is to me and how practically all these symptoms you described apply to my current daily life. Cheers friend.
I am 17 years old, and was diagnosed with Autism at the early age of 4. I can handle crowds and the like, but one situation that I can't seem to handle at all is making a change from one environment to one that's completely different from the former environment. And I'm also extremely claustrophobic. I have never liked tight spaces. When my living environment is extremely cramped (to the point of my arm's reach being able to encompass most of the space,) it tends to trigger burnout after about a year or so.
True CoasterMan ~~ was 19 back in 1967, drafted into VN war and Autistic very stressful changes, then suffered war PTSD, got married upon discharge to a narcissistic bitch even tho homosexual wasting 16 precious years, all the stress contributed majorly to life threatening cancer in 1991! So, consider yourself lucky to have discovered who you are early and ways to survive/cope, wo learning hard way like me!
Fully agreed 😊
@@sbsman4998😊
I've had depression for 7 or so years, with honestly no hope in sight because nothing seemed to really work. In February I got diagnosed with autism and learned that my depression is likely caused by/coupled with chronic autistic burnout and things are finally starting to make sense. Even though I've experienced a lot of regression in being able to handle things I normally can (I can't even leave the house anymore without my earplugs and sunglasses and sunhat), I am learning a lot and am finally starting to hope again for my future. Trying to accommodate myself when I don't yet know what I struggle with has been a task, but I'm going back to school on a lower level so I can have more down time and less pressure and I'm trying my best to learn to set boundaries on things I can and can't do.
Your videos have helped me a lot on this journey so far! Unfortunately there's still a long way to go but I now have the motivation and a path to follow
You’ve done fantastically well to have such awareness.Don’t think in terms of “I’m not there yet” - there is no ‘there’,just an ongoing experience we call life,so all is good right now!👍
@@redpillnibbler4423 so it's neurosthenia I was diagnosed with that 1998 unknown had autistic until son's diagnosis this year
@@Truerealism747
Could it be caused by electromagnetic fields (wifi etc?)
@@redpillnibbler4423 well my grandfather was diagnosed n1925 sczophrenia personality which layer called Asperger's my mum obvously had it just lost her to severe ms and my grandfather's mother had it all hypermobile but maybe it makes things worse ime getting a mouth guard next to try
This hurts I was put thru the foster system instead of trying to figure out what was going on with me and trying to help me now I’m 30 learning so much thanks to my daughter opening my eyes :)
Thank you Orion. I'm in my 40s and think I've just had (in the middle of) my first burnout. Listening to you describe it sounds like you were inside my head seeing it firsthand. I've made an appointment for a thorough assessment. Maybe this is why I have been "off" my whole life.
I think of it as like low-battery mode on your phone. We take a performance hit to save mental overwhelm (slows down processing/input/output), trading for better energy usage/recovery. As a bonus since we can't control the frequencyf or intensity of outside stimuli (sounds/social interactions, whatever internal or external sensory input you get the deal) we have to avoid them and go hermit mode, giving us a space to hopefully not be interrupted and be able to recover with less sensory distress.
Have you ever used larger equipment that needs more power than plugging it in can give, so you have to charge a battery first, and even if you plug it in while charging it eventually runs out? Like, burnout is that, we're at the lowest point and if we keep using energy there's never enough fuel built up in advance to deal with it for more than short bursts at a time, it really is about reducing both performance activities and sensory and just chilling while refilling your physical and emotional reserves (the recovery bits), once you let your tanks get a bit of a lead before burning the fuel at a (hopefully) more reasonable pace with that head start.
Cool presentation! You brought up cognitive restructuring-would love to see a video on CBT, it’s effectiveness, and how it works. I personally want to identify solutions that’s already well structured and adaptable for autistic and adhd peeps in particular, and ideally easy to self-implement without the guidance or intervention of a therapist/psychologist.
Cheers, thanks ;)
Been like this probably since childhood/teenager, nice to finally have a name for it.
This happened to me 3x.
Once in college after death of Mom; in 2020 after well...7 months of living in 2020 😂 Both times I ended up admitted to Psych hospital.
This also fits my experience with an episode of Post Partum Depression. I shut down completely but was not admitted to psych hospital.
I'm dx ADHD and this video makes me wonder if I'm actually Autistic. It would explain a lot.
Thanks for posting this. I was diagnosed a bit less than a year ago. I've been in a burnout phase for a very long time. It has become very acute over the last couple years. I'm hoping this video will help my family understand burnout and successfully navigating it. They don't seem to believe me when I attempt to communicate my needs. I'm sure you can imagine the outcome. You do a great job. Perhaps a video specifically geared for friends and family might be helpful. Thanks again.
I’ve been suffering from burnout really badly lately. Mainly caused by sensory and social issues that i have to endure at work plus having to work a constant changing rota that doesnt allow me to follow a set sleep routine. My wife has been trying to persuade me to just stop working and be a stay at home dad so i dont suffer so much but for now i’ve decided to just take 3 weeks holiday and then return to work on lower hours and on a set shift pattern to see if that helps me manage my burnout and sensory overload and help me find a routine
You nailed it! My head is tired from shaking it up and down with practically every word you said.
Awesome video Orion. I think I started burning out a few years ago but I only found out that I was Autistic and have ADHD a few months ago. It might be too late to recover but I am doing my best. I wish my medical people, work managers and HR had all this information. I tried to send it to some of the work contacts but they haven’t been able to support my needs unfortunately. All the information I see indicates that Burnout is somewhat temporary when you do all the right things to recover (assuming you know that it is autistic burnout and can find adequate support), but I think I have suffered some permanent or long term negative effects. I have other conditions too that may have even manifested from ‘coping’ in this world as an undiagnosed autistic. Hopefully in time I can improve my nervous system and make a contribution to the world again. Keep up the good work. ❤
Do you have pain symptoms everyday I have hsd Asperger's add diagnosed neurosthenia 1998 more pain what's the problem fatigue second
@@Truerealism747I have chronic body aches like you get when you have a fever but no fever. I feel physically ill too and get bad headaches and light sensitivity.
11:23
I am stunned and so grateful. Thank you for this, Orion.
I have begun keeping an electronic journal, hoping for a diagnosis one day, convinced, but knowing I’m going to have to build my case- and feeling completely physically (my gut is macramé-ing itself while I’m writing this), emotionally, mentally, just COMPLETELY overwhelmed at the slightest thought of that process.
Up until this point, I could tell my husband (and hopefully, somebody ‘officially’ helpful further down the line) that I think I have suffered a massive autistic burnout.
But now I can actually provide this very succinct delineation of the exact events that led up to it.
Each
and
every
item
you
listed
was
involved.
Consistently. Continuously.
thank you🌸
thank you🌸
thank you🌸
ps about the journal: I put the link for this in both my written page and my links page. I don’t ever want to lose it.
I exist in a state of perpetual burnout. Sometimes it gets so bad I have seizures. I wish they had a medication that would help me just keep on moving wi htout this burnout mess.
You may not believe me, Orion, but this was perfect timing to hear. A lot of your videos relate to me, but this one is definitely gold! I cried not because I was upset, but I feel understood...Just by this video alone and it brought me some hope. Last night, I had to set boundaries with someone who was having me help build up their company..I finally had the courage to say no more to them. After failed attempts in the past, expressing my burnout to them, I had to take courage and let them go. I noticed my ability to communicate effectively was becoming more and more impared because of the pressure they put me through. There were a lot of misunderstandings, miscommunication, favoritism, and lack of adequate support. Perhaps...questionable ethics. I tried so hard to express *exactly* what you described. I wish I could share this video with them but I am sure they are going to dismiss it. I don't need people who are not for me and fail to understand my limitations. Like lgitha said, you are a treasure! Thank you once again, Orion!
Thank you Orion, I just needed this video so badly right now! Watching your videos has become one of my relaxing and coping strategies 😂 I feel so seen and understood and soothed now! ❤
Just came home from a 2 week's "vacation" trip. I communicated my needs (that I was aware of) clearly beforehand, but they were just ignored. Everything you mentioned here happened every day. I had several meltdowns and breakdowns and I got even blamed for that.
I've developed some coping strategies for my usual everyday life, but during these 2 weeks I felt just as helpless and exposed to the will of others as during my childhood. It was like being teleported back to those days.
I know I'm a pro at masking, and I created my life just the way that I even thought I didn't need routines.. I even believed that I didn't even have routines that I had to stick to. That I'm quite adaptive and functional. Hahahahah, wrong! This journey taught me otherwise 😅 Probably believed my own mask 😅
So... this journey taught me more about myself. Now I have to process it, recharge and carry on..
Btw... I'm back since 4 days and I'm still so confused about my feelings. It often takes me a while to really understand, process and communicate my feelings. Sometimes even days up to weeks. Does someone relate?
These videos have done more for me than years of therapy. I don't know if that means I'm seeing bad therapists, or if I just needed to hear it from another autistic person for it to make sense.
Thank you. I realized last night that I am hugely on autistic burnout and I feel completely off the rails. Thank you. This video brought me back on track.
Not engaging special interest leading to burnout, that's so very true and something that's easy to forget when you're pressured to wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, wake up, etc.
I have over the past year been going downhill. It happend at work one night when I ended up basically sitting in the middle of a huge inventory at a large company where I work and I felt completely lost and overwhelmed. Since then it went down - and I have on multiple occasions ended up sitting in my fork lift or in our truck just crying. When at home I can barely get myself to visit my parents who are both old and somewhat need my help. I just spent 3 weeks of summer vacation where I stayed home - did basically nothing except just staying alive. Even that is troublesome and I have on several occasions found myself in a situation that could have had a different outcome. I have no idea of how to get out of this feeling. Luckily I live alone with my cat so I only have my parents that I have to support.
Since before christmas I went to therapy every week but nothing helped.
I feel absolutely empty and alone.
The feeling will pass and you’ll begin to feel better.Don’t feel bad about feeling bad,if that makes sense because the mind plays tricks like that.
Just observe it for what it is - a temporary state of being at this time in your life.❤️👍
@@redpillnibbler4423 I hope so but it feels like absolutely devastating.
This video explains everything ive been going through. i have been through hell struggling with employment this past year being discriminated and fired and this woke me up. I am doing better at my current job but the trauma i endured still lingeres with me everyday and am feeling burnt out. I cant just quit because i need the money. thanks for the tips on dealing with burnout.
Going through this now. Too many things stressing me all at once. Really can knock a person way down....🙁
I've experienced this a lot, and I've learned some relaxation and emotional self-soothing techniques throughout the years, but you explained everything so particularly well. I saved this to my Encouragement playlist. Thanks Orion!
Another great representation of being autistic, Orion! Thanks for being you @orionkelly
Another very good and informative video, thanks, Orion .
This is the wife of pictured... I've been working in a busy deli for over 7 1/2 years. I'm 57 years of age. I have a son and grandson diagnosed with autism. I do not currently have insurance, and have not pursued diagnosis, but I have no doubt that I am on this spectrum. After learning more about this, I understand more about my entire life. Why I do stemming, have to turn or spin to find my orientation, strong stimuli responses, and getting interactions and conversations many times all wrong. I have felt extreme fatigue mentally again this week, and cannot afford complete burn out... I'm addicted to having a roof over my head. lol. I found this video at the right time... thank you so much for putting this channel up and being there. Sheer tenacity has been getting me through... and my faith, of course. You have opened a window for me. Work is hectic, and I never know what will be coming at me next. I don't think I should at work solicit help or support for something with which I haven't been properly diagnosed, but you have explained some tools that I will strive to use. Some things you mentioned do get me through already, but I shall employ more. I can't thank you enough:)
thankyou for this video. My emotions are all out of whack the last few week sand i think it may be some sort of burn out. I work in a call centre so the work can be a sensory nightmare. I will see if I can get support from my manager. I appreciate all of your work for what it is worth
I thank you so much for posting these videos! I was diagnosed with autism as an adult a year ago, wish I would have been diagnosed with it earlier.
Thank you Orion. Resentment big time with those who always know everything and are always right.
Just hearing you talk about these issues makes me feel like I have value that makes me feel better about myself ❤
I cannot tell you how useful this post has been. Being kind to yourself is the simplest but one of the hardest things to do. I am going to save this and watch as a reminder on a regular basis. Thank you! Greetings from Shropshire UK 😊
How is it you post this a day ago and I just started researching this today! I’ve been researching all day different TH-camrs and articles and I can’t get enough, just want to make sure this is really happening… you’re videos are great! Keep it up 👍🏾
It still amazes me, watching your videos, how accurately you describe what’s going on in my life, and around me. Thank you for the work that you do and the effort that you put into making these videos. You ARE absolutely making a difference.😊
Your helpful video's are calming and so relaxing because I feel that with your information I can cope alot better out there!😅😅😅
That was brilliant. Wish Orion had been around to give advice like this when I was growing up!
Wow, finally someone explains this, literally every single word you said in that video resonates with me and I've been struggling for so many years to figure out why sometimes I talk to people why sometimes I don't and other people have been trying to figure out why I closed them out Absolutely the best video Word for Word that I've seen, good job what you're doing, I have had so many failed relationships and even jobs in the past because of this very thing, people just don't understand they think I'm weird, I have an idea for a new video, the relation between autistic and alcohol, keep these videos coming out, this video absolutely amazing, thank you
Thank you for everything. You’re videos are most helpful🙏😊
Thank you so much for this video! When I first started looking for help for myself, I was only finding info for non-autistics to support autistics, and nothing for autistics to support themselves. Your work on this channel is very much appreciated.
Thank you Orion, this is so helpful - I'm literally taking notes lol
Unfortunately the only place in my house where you can have some privacy is the bathroom, and that's also at risk because my mom tends to break in if she needs something. There is no relaxing at home. So, when I need time for myself I usually stay longer in the office. I teach at night, but I usually go after lunch to work, and if I'm feeling a bit fed up I go in the morning and just stay the whole day at the office.
OK, your are super awesome and you make me feel way better,
I have always been struggling until I found your channel. Now I am on my way!!!
Keep it up brother.
I have a youtube channel too that is an autistic mess... but I have 245 subs,😂😂🎉❤
Nailed It, Orion! Thanks Heaps.
Thank you for the tips, Orion! Jesus loves you! ❤
I've just started a new job, today me (undiagnosed) and my coworker diagnosed were left in a building where every fire alarm was blaring, having to take phone calls and listen for people at the door. This went on for around 2 hours. Afterwards I could barely function, quite a few comments were made about my poor job performance. I'm really worried I might not make my probation period at this rate.
OMG! 2 hours?! I was almost a quivering jelly after 20 minutes stuck in a hallway with fire alarms blaring - and that with knowing it was a drill, not a real fire!
"if you think that neglecting taking time to be alone and work on your special interests won't lead to meltdowns and burnout, you're wrong"
I'm in this picture and I don't like it 10/10
I’m going through a assesment for autism just now at the age of 35 ,
I'm trying to get a referral for one right now @ 40 ... our generation's parents/doctors didn't have half the knowledge.
@@hazelheywood4551 the only reason I was reffered was because I had a serious accident and have mental health problems they where worried about my mental state and sent me to see someone who believes I have autism and he pushed for me to get assessed thru a place called number 6 who specialise in autism in adults otherwise I would’ve been sitting on a waiting list to get assessed thru the mental health team
@@hazelheywood4551they did but couldn't be arsed my grandfather got diagnosed 1925 as sczophrenia personality disorder
this was very helpful, and exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks
Love your videos. So helpful and informative. Hope you know how appreciated you are.
I really, truly needed this right now. Thank you.
This explains so much about what I was mentally with last year and why certain actions , such mindfulness and alone time, where a huge help before I understood I was austic.
Great source to understanding my husband. Have you done a segment with your wife? Thank you
We’ve done 2 videos together on neurodiverse relationships.
@@orionkelly I saw them. Thank you
I'm not diagnosed as autistic but the segment of strategies is very helpful, really good points for everyone to live in a more comfortable way, thank you !
You've no idea how much this video means to me🙏🏾 Thank you.
Undiagnosed, 58 y.o. fem.
I've learnt more about Autism from Orion than any professional. Thank you fella!
Thank you so much mate, I needed this
This has helped So much! 😭 Thank you 🙏🏽
Absolutely it does build up. And getting the inertia to get out of burnout is horrid. I know I am in a terrible and unenthusiastic mood and just want to be able to be happy and take things in my stride and not feel I am drowning in a cognitive exhausted ram state
Love your videos! they've been so helpful for my family and me, thank you
Thank you for this. I shared it with my spouse so that he might understand better how I'm feeling when I cannot describe it in words.
Thank you Orion
This was so helpful to me. Thank you!!!
Thanks Orion, for all your content, it helps
Going through a burnout right now..
I just received your book, ordered after the very raw video you did about your being a facilitator for that big meeting. Thank you for sharing, and you are helping more than you will ever know. I jumped into the book this afternoon and as I read it I heard it in your voice. Wonder if anyone else experienced that 😂 Thanks again Orion!
So here I am, roughly, half way through my existence here on earth. I keep getting confirmation after confirmation that I'm likley undiagnosed autistic. I've lived life up until this point completely disappointed in my inabilities to keep up with the "simple" daily activities and duties of life.
Now with the idea that im likely autistic (and with there not being any adult aid for this unique mindframe/disability),
I've been wanting to track my behavioral changes/cues leading up to autistic burnout.
My only thought on how to help myself with preventing burnout is to learn the signs (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, and cognitive processing). I'm just lost at how to start. My mind is too jumbled to plot out the process and how to track the number of signs.
I think this would help me to identify my threshold. Essentially what I should reliably expect from myself. I'm just so use to pushing and pushing. I'm ready to learn a new method🙂
I'm so frustrated at the moment. I have twins that have been diagnosed for 10 years. Thru learning about ASD thru my experiences with them, it dawned on me that this was why I was the way I am. I've known for 10 years that I am autistic, and have described myself as such.
However, I've been hitting burnout in regards to work more and more frequently, and now I need an "official" diagnosis in order to get any accommodations, or even any empathy, at work.
But, there is literally NO ONE in my area that diagnoses adults, only children. I'm frustrated beyond belief.
I don't understand why it is so difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult. I know I am autistic, but can't get officially diagnosed because insurance won't cover it for adults and it is so expensive!
Hello. I am a high functioning autistic too.. I'm still in burnout. Nice to know I'm not alone.
My phone broke and I lost my ability to do practically anything...
I watch TH-cam videos about anything and anything for stress relief.
I didn't notice how dependent I was until I couldn't do that and I had to give myself treats so I could cope with existing long enough to get help from my sister by walking across the city without a map because I couldn't think of anything else I could do to fix the problem.