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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Have you ever fallen victim to a narcissist? Narcissists are smart, manipulative and will not give up on achieving what they want to. Outsmarting a Narcissist is considered to be science; you can’t use rational logic because unfortunately, the narcissistic brain is pathological. Narcissist's brains don’t work the same as our brains. We have to understand what makes the narcissist tick; what they are looking for in interactions with us and how their brain works.
DISCLAIMER: This video is intended for educational purposes only. If you have been affected or been the victim of narcissistic behavior or abuse, please speak to somebody you trust or seek professional support. The following suggested points are tips that may help you take back some sense of control as there are no permanent solutions to being involved with a narcissist.
Want more videos on narcissism? We made a video on the things narcissists would say: • 10 Things A Narcissist...
Writer: Jade Hamilton
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Minh Nguyen
/ minhthebird.art
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References
Goddard, E. (2020). How to outsmart a Narcissist. Retrieved January 20, 2021, from thriveglobal.com website: thriveglobal.com/stories/how-...
Kay, D. (2018). 11 Ways to outsmart a narcissist. Retrieved January 20, 2021, from Daylight Out of Darkness website: www.daylightoutofdarkness.com...
Psych2go aims to make psychology and mental health content accessible for everyone around the world free of charge. Sponsors like Endel helps make this possible because we get to reinvest the funds to create more amazing content for everyone, while at the same time sharing companies that are working towards a similar mission.
The best way to outsmart a narcissist is to succeed without them. You don't need them, they need you.
yep pretty much
Well said.
@@Rose-gy1cc Thank you. It's also fun to write about.
Empath and the Narcissist
An all so common relationship dynamic
Starts as a whirlwind, ends up in panic
The empath truly has love and compassion
The narcissist requires constant validation
The narcissist feels truly empty inside
Afraid to be alone in their darkened mind
Afraid of the voices in their head
Believing they're worthless, better off dead
The empath has nothing to gain
They build you up to shut off your pain
What the empath doesn't realize
Is the narcissist's inability to empathize
The narcissist thinks it's a power struggle
The empath has all their feelings to juggle
Pushing and pulling, a constant fight
Waiting for the next rage to ignite
Idealize, devalue, and discard
The narcissistic calling card
The empath is tired of insulting their soul
They awaken and take back their control
Narcissist moves on to another fixation
Unable to live without validation
Never to blame, ego increases
While the empath is left to pick up the pieces
The narcissist, outsmart one at your peril, you need to control your behaviour, if you end it, expect a backlash, distance yourself from any contradictions, put up a resistance, yóur position is determined by the element of surprise, if your not calm you'll be accused of being emotional, if you play the victim, empathy is a game of chess, trauma from emotional abuse, reach out and get help☀
@Faith Found the unaware narcissist! It's easier than finding Waldo. 😜
the worst part is when you expose and call them out on everything they do, instead of owning up to it they pretend they were the victims and will lie to others to make it seem that you were the perpetrator. narciccist are truly the worst and should be avoided at all costs. its not even worth the "lesson learned" the toll on your mind and body is too much to bear.
THAT PART!!
And especially when they constantly use the word to describe you.
Ask what a book is about "are you so narcissistic that you require other people to read and summarize information that you can otherwise do but don't?", as if you aren't an hour drive away and don't even know the title.
You offer to help with a project, they accept, following morning you send them links to what other people have done to take inspiration from, suddenly you're a narcissist because you're doing too much.
You don't get along with & cut out of your life a different narcissist they are having fights with regularly, suddenly you are now a narcissist because you can't bare to look at yourself & you are the 1st person they have met that deserves every bad thing that has ever happened to you.
YES!!!!
My ex is a narcissist. After our breakup he was the one still holding on and trying to take control. He had a bit of a following on Instagram. Make pathetic breakup posts, portraying me in a negative light. That I was the one that ruin everything,I was the bad one in the relationship, I ended things with a “good” guy for nothing. He had a random girl harass me online over him, she went on and on defending him and how horrible I was. When none of that was true. He wanted to ruin my image. I decided to get offline after the countless threats I would get because of him, even after blocking him he’ll just create throwaway accounts to message me. Been offline since and never been happier. That guy was seriously narcissistic he only cared about himself and entitled to think everything he’s done has been justifiable and reasonable to do. The worst kind of people..
Agreed!!! I tell or ask my mom why is she so hateful,. She says,. I’m not hateful,. You are! Haha! 🙄. Good Grief!
My advice (along with Nietzsche) is: "If you are fighting with a monster be careful not become one yourself."
Major Key! I started becoming a person I dont even recognize just trying to keep up with the tit for tat and constantly giving that "energy" back. Smh so draining
@@Mamienapower yea i wonder. perhaps its our job to become the even bigger monster in order to kill all the other monsters?
⭐
@@pdog9372 that's an interesting point. never though of that.
If you cannot be a monster you’re an easy target to the next narc. If you can choose being monster when appropriate or not monster then you are strong and safe.
1. heal yourself
2. mirror their behavior
3. cut off contact
4. use the grey rock method
5. agree with them
6. keep your cards close to your chest
7. challenge your own thoughts and situation
8. you need to remain very calm
9. find ways to disengage
10. refuse to play
11. listen to your body
as someone who was raised by a narcissist and was dangerously close to becoming a full blown one himself up until this past year, i can agree following these tips will definitely get on a narcissist’s nerves and eventually they’ll leave for good. i hope whoever is dealing with one can find the strength to overcome such a terrible situation, and for those of you who are falling into that path: there is nothing wrong or shameful with admitting you are in the wrong, be okay with the discomfort of facing your flaws and find ways to improve now before you lose everyone you love ❤️
Thank you!
God bless 💜
I'm actually good at the calm part since i have a habit of hiding my emotions and have this poker face where it looks like i do not give a fucc
People like you JC who chose to heal and help, instead of letting the defense mechanisms take completely over are in my experince some of the very best people around falwed/hurt or not.
as someone who's mom is a narcissist, thank you
“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. He will treat you so horribly that you will become withdrawn and depressed and then he will turn around and say, ‘You’re no fun anymore, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams
You realize women can be narcissists too? I’d argue women are more than men if you focus on the inability to take criticism as one of the main traits.
My boyfriend actually said to me tonight "it used to be fun" talking about our relationship because I'm no "fun" anymore and it really got me thinking... My whole life, I've let people take advantage of me. I want to divide myself up and give myself away because it's more comfortable than wanting to keep myself whole. I'm in a really bad spot in life but my hope is that maybe one day, I can look back on this point in my life and be proud of how far I've come.
@@JKStone234 well, what you’re saying is true, however, the commenter was just quoting Susan Williams, so there’s nothing wrong with their comment since they’re just quoting someone else’s words.
Hang on. There IS Winning. For myself after 8 yrs of returning to earth from planet WTF. I can see VERY clearly ab
and with only minimal contact required as we share a son. I know I wind him to levels he has never been to. With occasional necessary friendly brief messages. Which I dont give another thought to. And drive him Batshit frustrated that he has ZERO influence any more. My fear though. Is for the influence he will try to have on my son. I need to protect him from his own Dad. ☹️
@@JKStone234 literally chill. No one said women weren't narcissistic. Both men and women have equal narcissists. Please stop being childish and making this a gender issue.
Grey rock has worked really well for me!
Examples to use:
- that’s nice
- if you think so
- …….so anyway
- it must be tough (them: WHY?) to have your insecurities showing like that
- (any answers don’t need to be elaborated on, like “how’s it going”) Good.
Periodt
The point of grey rock is to be so boring that they give up because they’re not getting what they want. Grey rock vs. Jade
You deserve to be around people who appreciate your jade.
I heard of saying, “Whatever.” is another good response.
Im adding “must be tough” to the rotation, Thank you!
Hands down Grey rock works best for me too!
I also use
-Hm.
-Blank stare (literally)
And text/email communications for serious matters to prevent gas lighting in the event of them not being able to recall what they said or flat out denying what was said.
#whenyoucandisconnect
mkay
I tried the grey rock but they can be aggressive when they didn't get what they want
It’s hard to outsmart them. In a relationship the constant gaslighting makes you confused. Cutting off contact worked me only. But be prepared for their revenge!
I agree. No contact rules! It is the only way, but be prepared for a lot of loss- I read after I did it that most people lose 75% or more of their social contacts, friends, and family members after initiating no contact with a narcissist. Nothing can really prepare you for that heartbreak, so it definitely helps to have support from a group or therapist before doing it. Otherwise, you WILL have that weak moment, all alone and perfectly vulnerable... Wishing you all the best!
the reveng even follows in small things like not being welcome in activitys, not being invited to going eat , ignoring my special eating needs. Simply ignoring the fact i need food too. I wont excist as long i wont say something i need food. He says "he buys" a Matress for me from cheapest Sales , when i say i need t test the matress can i ddecide on my own what good for me ? He exploded into victim role how mean i'm and called me stupid bi****
❤❤❤❤❤
It makes you weak honestly and often times accepting things you didn't do 😌.
Yes indeed revenge. I just experienced it! Oh brother!:p
Narcissists are like babies. They cry to get their needs met. They are great actors and often use tears as a tool of manipulations. After a while, you begin to see through their facade.
yeah sounds like my ex gf, and a crazy one too
Sounds exactly like my ex husband & my sister 🙄
how about people with depression? but well, people judge for what ever reason...
Dealing with my grandmother who raised me, I’m finding strength in my (grandmas favorite) cousins including my sister finally realizing her behavior, I’m pretty strong myself of course sensitive but now being a mother, I don’t have time for the emotional games anymore for the bs games and your right once you see through the facade is when you have the upper hand and it heals that inner child for me a little bit more 💚
Id like to think of myself as a teen with a mental illness rather than a literal infant but ok
Tysm I needed this my mom always compares to me to my cousin with adhd and because I have it too she compares in rude ways this really helped
Holy crap 1k ty
I'm sorry that you have to deal with that kind of treatment from your own mother😔 Someone who should be protecting you and nurturing the relationship. The only thing that I will say on her defense is that most likely that was the dynamic between her mother and her? In other words, the way she is treating you is most likely the way her mother treated her. And that's all she knows about what a mother is supposed to do to her daughter? It's up to you to break that toxic cycle of the generational trauma? I have been taking the same task on since 2017 and it hasn't been easy but, it has most definitely been worth it. The relationships have gotten so So SO MUCH better! It takes alot of diligence to stay constantly aware of your own toxicity like character defects. And you have to see them coming before they happen so you can start to change your behavior. It's just easier to see your old self coming before you react on old ways cause once you act like you used to by blowing up you could do more damage in those little bits of time while reacting with anger. And you may do something that you can't take back and wasted the time and energy that you were making so much progress. Start by being willing to be totally honest. Especially, about the dark thoughts or negetive emotions like insecurities and jealousy. When your feeling those things swallow your pride, show humility by bringing the dark into the light and just watch how the people around you appreciate the honesty. It will bring value to important people in your life by being vulnerable.
@Nicholas ok tysm
@@Justineyedia it’s ok I’ve dealed with it since I was 9 basically since last year
@SSuperior yes :) I’m just a use full bitch who doesn’t want to die because she doesn’t want to leave her gf
@SSuperior ??? why would they die cause they're dating while young?
1. heal yourself 0:43
2. mirror their behavior 1:07
3. cut off contact 1:27
4. use the 'grey rock method' 1:44
5. agree with them 2:10
6. keep your cards close to your chest 2:44
7. challenge your own thoughts and situation 3:03
8. you need to remain very calm 3:33
9. find ways to disengage 4:01
10. refuse to play 4:23
11. listen to your body 4:55
I hope I could help!
Thank you
Thanks
Thank you!
woahh 1 months ago
@@ragestuffin and already knows the whole video as well
NO! DO NOT AGREE WITH A NARCISSIST!!! They will see this as an actual admission of fault and use it against you! If they're attacking you or accusing you of untrue things, simply say things like "you're entitled to your opinion", or "we'll just have to agree to disagree" or even give a vague "okay" in response and leave it at that!
Even the absolute worst narcissists fear me, not only will I see through you, I will also humiliate you. Emotionalism works zero on me. Blackmail works zero on me. I really am your worst nightmare. I can smell people's intentions.
@@gdwiggy3612 You're suffering from what's called narcissitic abuse syndrome. That vengeance can become toxic. Tread lightly friend ❤️
I completely agree with you but i think the video suggested that just as a quick "out" bc a fucking narcissist will argue u into the fucking ground about any and every damn thing. draining..
WHAT DOES THIS COMMENT EVEN MEAN
@@looweegee252 I eat narcissists for breakfast
Biggest blind side of a narcissist is they underestimate others use this to your advantage 💪🏾
idk. whenever u play with them, u gonna burn ur hand.
@@pdog9372 yup. U will burn urself. But it still leaves them baffled. At times, its fun to see them suffer too. They are actually very weak people
-Something I've learned from a narccissist, Mental Healness, *yes* they *are* aware of the manipulative behavior they're doing, even if they don't know why.
-Expanding on the Grey Rock part, make yourself around them as unegaging and boring as you can be. Seperate yourself from the situation if they start to get a rise out of you (in any form, not just anger). It helps if you can emotionally numb yourself to them, but that's easier said than done.
-Never defend yourself, defending yourself 'proves' in their mind that what they're saying is true. They'll try to trick you into defending yourself by claiming that your refusal to defend yourself is agreement, it's a trap. Don't agree, don't defend, if you can, don't even acknowledge the accusation. Keep pretending you didn't even hear/read it.
-Beware of enablers.
-Be aware of the signs of triangualtion, and the high probability that they've already started a smear campaign against you *long* before you find out about it/there's a break in the relationship.
I got the whole package you described, I wont go into my sad story, but I had to move a world away with our 12 year old son{who's A.S.D bless him } to get away from him and his side kick from hell.....And i am not young I had our son when I was 44 and he was 56...Its only been a year and a half of no contact. I am getting there slowly but dear God what an 11 year hell mentally it was ,my son occasionally asks can he email his father and i say ,when your older son,I simply cant allow any crack to give him a way in to hurt us anymore ,mentally...Believe me when I say my Dear Son is better off without him, my son is my priority to protect from his own father... And I intend to do just that from hear on in...
Jesus, everything you've said is SO relatable. It actually makes me sad to think what I was enduring and was none-the-wiser. ESPECIALLY the smear campaign. Thank God I'm finally free!
My dad is a narcissist, I'm seeing him for Christmas, this'll help me deal with him, thank you :)
Hope all was well! How did it go?
@@Psych2go thank you for asking, it went fairly well, he had a few outbursts, but this video really helped me, thank you so much for putting this information out :)
@@queenalice7483 sorry you have to deal with that. Happy Holidays!
@@queenalice7483 do u see him being a monster as positive or negative? my dad is a big narc too.
No! Cut him off. They never, ever change. Never. Go get another life without them. You will be subjected to mire & more. Get rid of a dad like this. Get support from a therapist and goid friends. Please. Your life will get better & better the longer you stay away. Pretend he’s dead. Im not kidding. He will find a way to ruin your lufe if you don’t. Change your name. Seriously.
We are already smarter than they are. The key is to not allow what makes us more evolved, our emotional maturity, cause for us to have so much empathy for them that we allow for them to abuse us. Most times, it is this empathy that gets us in trouble. We don’t respond the way we should at the first sign of misconduct because we assume that we are incorrect in our judgment. We are smart enough to know that if someone is damaged they are going to act out and mistreat others. So, we are more patient with them. This is where the problem comes in. Our caring and ability to identify with a person’s pain causes for us to fall victim to their callous behavior. We move the boundary for them because we believe if we do, we can help them. We believe that all they need is love. The problem is, they don’t really want it. They just wanted us to move the boundary. They literally want to see if they can continue to make us do things we not wish to do. They want to see if they can cause a reaction that is out of character. They want to watch us unravel. It makes them feel powerful. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,
Wow, nicely put. That sounds very, very right.
@@ct6852 It was a spam. Stay safe, keep your money
As someone who cohabits with a few, I can clearly say that the best thing to do is to remain silent, act unaware and withdraw yourself.....
that is terrible advise.
Yes. It’s survival.
I did this, the narcissist still managed to turn it on me and say I make their life so hard by never talking to them/ avoiding them. You really can never do right, the only option is cut contact tbh
Great idea
In the past when I was being verbally attacked I would just go silent as I couldn't think of anything to say. This would always make the person in question even more angry and only make it worse for me. So refusing to play their games doesn't always work and can backfire
They up it, don't they. Until it is something so abusive and horrible, -like attack your dog- that you DO give them what they want, -you showing your rage or emotional devastation. The only one that works is NO CONTACT. If you do all those other things you WILL enrage them. They will do something sneaky to your car to cause an accident. No joke. MY goal with those people to feel indifferent towards them, and to keep them far away from anything I treasure.
I have a tip to share 🙋♂️
Narcissistic tend to distract questions directed to them making us feel angry
The best way to deal 🎯
👉 Be calm
👉 keep asking questions
👉 make them feel that you are aware of their distraction 😶
That’s the best way to respond 🤷♂️
Thanks for reading 📖
I think getting away from a controlling narcissistic parent is the hardest thing I've ever done.
I had a friend who is a narcissist.
She never owned up to her mistakes and while running away from her problems she’d victimise herself and make it seem like it’s your fault.
Recently she dragged me into drama that she caused and said it was caused by my other friend and said I’m not asking you to choose sides buuuuuuut here’s a list of cons of this person- dude that’s choosing fricking sides.
Any personal information you give to her, she’ll use as her ammunition.
I feel sorry for her boyfriend, he has to deal with that, if she doesn’t own up to her problems I fear that she’ll be alone.
We’re not friends anymore, I didn’t break it off. She did and said a whole bunch of horrible things to me for no reason. It’s because of this drama she broke it off. Drama that she cause, blamed me for saying stuff to this other person about personal stuff she told me which I did not and I stand by that, no matter what she doesn’t listen. It’s like if she’s not happy then I can’t be happy.
Selfish bitch.
@Faith
I have a lot family that are toxic (not all of them, but a good hand full are) probably picked something up from them.
After all as an autistic person (not using this as an excuse) I learn differently and is very socially awkward and so on. I learned by watching people, as creepy as that is. And most of the people I learn from are family... sooooooo.
After all autism is a learning disability (people seem to forget that when trying to use that as an excuse).
I might be a narcissist I don't fucking know. Anything's possible. This person that has hurt me, she claimed I was a sociopath some years back. Through I gotta disagree with that, my doctor's who diagnosed me would have picked up on it if I was a sociopath so that's untrue.
So it's probably because of the traits I've picked up over the years.
I mean if you want I can talk about the toxic people of my life, i will not name them as i have done before, no race, no religion, just people. They aren't always bad but they most definitely have their moments.
Also about the bitch comment, that wasn't for the recent events, that is for over the years of her screwing people over. She's screwed me over thousands of times, times that I chose to be in arrogant bliss and deny that your best friend- your only friend would do that and said behind your back. Over the years I've had at least 3 to 5 close friends, before the drama it was 2 now, then after the drama it was 1 but recently (last couple of weeks) I've reconnected with an old friend that I've known since kindergarten, primary, intermediate and good old Waiopehu college (which is a high school) so I at this moment have 2 friends.
@Faith
Sorry if I gave you too much infomation. Cause I don't know when it is too much, cause people don't tell me anything they just expect me to know (this is something I'm extremely bitter about because they still do this)
Don't fear that she'll be alone. That would be a blessing, these persons cannot change, and only thrive by destroying the lives of their partners.
@mantislazuli
Not too long ago, I've learned that she has BDP, but doesn't do anything to help herself. Creates problems out of thin air, blames people for her problems and victimizing herself.
And holy hell I didn't even realize I haven't been her friend for 2 years, doesn't even feel that long.
Most narcissists are totally unaware of their disorder, unless it is serious enough that they have literally been diagnosed with NPD. Even then, their grandiosity might still prohibit them from admitting their own shortfalls and flaws, thus causing them to repeatedly make the same errors in life.
Thus the first step to outsmarting a narcissist is quite easy... is to learn about and understand narcissism. This immediately puts you ahead of probably 90% of them.
I would then say that the 2nd key weakness of narcissists is their ineptness at long-term thinking. Much like a 5 year old, they do not know how to delay gratification. This is evidenced through their addictive behaviours, substance use, boredom, promiscuity/short term relationships, and inability to hold down a job for a meaningful amount of time.
Their general inability to think long term means that they are appalling at anticipating negative consequences. This is where you can beat them: just plan further ahead than they do. Though narcissists might overcompensate this shortfall of theirs through paranoid & controlling behaviours with the intention to fend off those consequences, it is exhausting for them and they frequently make mistakes (evidenced through self-contradictory behaviours such as lying and spreading alternate versions of the truth to different people).
Their 3rd weakness is they think they are more liked than they actually are, thanks to their grandiosity and propensity for shallow & short term relationships (whether they be intimate or platonic). It is a numbers game to them. Quality over quantity. They also show strong preference towards 'friends' that have something materialistic to offer them. This actually leaves many 'friends' of theirs feeling dissatisfied because their relationship lacks depth and authenticity. It is not that difficult to turn people against narcissists once you have identified those individuals.
4th on my list is nasty and I actually won't talk about it. It can be misused on anybody with PTSD.
Thank you for your take and please share the 4th, I’m hoping it could help me in my situation
One of the proudest moments of my life was when I finally came clean out of a relationship with a nacisisst and started flourishing again 🌺
"Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty and the pig enjoys it,'”
-George Bernard
Protect your energy my friends!
The best and ONLY way is to stay away from them. For good.
1.love yourself
2. Don't get sway by their flowery words.
3. becareless with them ignore them.
4.enjoy your life without that narcicist person.
5. Make that narcicist see there someone else will come for you better in the future.
6. Don't commit on them.
7. Ghost them.
8. Show that narcicist you don't him/her
9. Show them their not always right.
10. Don't conversate them special when they just play the victim
Just Ghost them.
These are all true, I'm from a toxic relationship with a narcissist. The emotional burden I experienced is too much I feel like crying just remembering it, much worst I don't have anyone that can help me that I trust enough not to judge me. To anyone who's currently dealing or dealed with this kind of people I completely understand how you feel, I hope we all be happy we deserve it.
Totally Agree & understand!!! Me Too on all counts!!! It’s Sad!
I feel you 💜 I've been in love with a narcissist for 10 months now. It's really confusing and I'm torn between love and pain , between staying and leaving , but can't seem to do either.
same, i raised in abusive environment, even i go toxic because years of abuse, depression, trauma, i just don't know anymore, many times end up crying alone in my room, just last week realize i got alters, i hate Narcissist honestly....
I'm currently in a relationship with a narcissist for 14 years!!! Just realized a few months ago that he was...I'm still trying to figure out what's best for me and try to stay positive..but it's hard and I cry every night confused...
I feel ur pain as I was with narc for 38years 😢, to scared to talk with anyone anymore after being discarded what I thought was my friends 😢
I still take baby steps and no contact for nearly 12months, but I will have to meet him regarding divorce and property.
I don't have any income after what others have done and continue to do😢 but I will keep telling my truths ❤🙏
I really need this, atm I'm trying to get over a narcissist who's been using me, I dont know why but its just so hard to let go :( this is one of the first people I've felt this connection with someone
I think that's issue "one of the first people I've felt this connection with someone". I've been in this situation the whole year this year. Battling with myself in trying to leave or to keep holding on, 'cause I just can't accept nor comprehend the person I trusted and respected so much is /also/ the main cause of toxicity in my life. It was a long process of understanding things, but also took a lot of crossing the lines for me to finally decide 'that's it. no more'.
It's a difficult process and I hope you find your way out soon. Just remember to prioritize yourself first and foremost. If I learned anything from my experience, is that it's simply best to move on and spend your energy and time on people /who actually won't hurt you/. Otherwise, no matter the history of your connection, it's simply a waste of time because it's just a constant cycle of you allowing them to be a narcissist in your life.
@@siugarr thank you so much
@SSuperior if you really know what someone goes through. If you were to even know my age you would retract that statement.
@SSuperior hun you're probably in your mid 30s looking for a life, I am a 13 year old girl that needs support at the moment, how about you let people be and do somthing better. Read a book or somthing. Get a counselor yourself
@SSuperior 20 isnt that much better, you're still attacking a 13 yr old 🤨
Life is always a game of who is the sharpest.
Wrong it about kindness care action with good word😞
@@uletfyren9784 absolutely! But at the same time it is always a game about Who is the sharpest.
@@willedscroll8394 yes the best among the rest.. will be a winner human being full of contest.. goodluck
For anyone who's experiencing this, I know that one of the worst feelings that you can experience is forgetting someone that you just can't really forget, that they make you totally codependent already at some degree, but you have to understand as well that your life is better off with someone.
A narcissist isn't just not aware of what they're doing, they lack self-awareness that's why they not just can't even tell if you're being hurt by their actions, but they're also not welcoming your opinion since they think they are always right, and you can't just help those people.
I love watching these videos of yours Ma'am! 🙂
am i not toxic or/and a narcissist if i admit my wrong doings and truly apologize?
i have a toxic releation ship (please correct) with my brother and very fast i apologize and cry.
I almost throw a piece of metal from the anger outburst just from a simple thing.
Ill be very happy if you understand what im going through.
I dont totally agree. Some narcissist ARE in fact, aware (at least in some situations) and still continue. Some just don't care due to a lack of empathy and/or the mindset, "no one cares about how I feel, so why should I care about how you feel".
@@shanitrapotier583 That best describes me.
I am aware that im doing something wrong, yet it just pops out of nowhere and i do it.
@@hashirogreenstar5025 Well maybe find a mental health professional to discuss with with. You can get better if you want you
Hurt people hurt people👍
Definitely relate with this. I bonded with a woman who was sad over being verbally abused and had been her biggest supporter for years. This year, I really saw her true colours, but I made the mistake of forgiving her for her nasty attitude... that she never ever apologised for. The last time I spoke to her was the day she seriously crossed the line where she put words in my mouth, tried to turn another friend against me and called me an asshole. After all I've done for her, being at her beck and call, had the courage to stand up against people abusing her, she called me an asshole. It was totally unbecoming. So the steps I took from this video were:
1) Healing myself
2) Cutting off contact
3) Disengaging from her manipulative sweet talk.
4) Challenged my thoughts and situation--and my peace and mind that I did nothing wrong was when my friend she tried to turn against me assured me that I did nothing wrong and she was the one who went overboard.
5) and listening to my body by being lenient to my other friends where I work, and the work I do is a good distraction also.
This was back in August, and the only interactions were strictly business related, and there were very few of those as well. That was how little she cared about the bond we had. It was a shame too since she has always called me "The son she's never had". But I have a real mum who raised me right and I have a lot of friends where I work that I can connect with. Aside from a few nightmares about our last falling out here and there, I've been feeling great ever since.
Thank you Psych2Go for this, I have definitely been benefitting from your videos and your life tips. Dare I say, you make everybody's lives brighter 😊
@e e same
@e e Thank you.
I've come to realise that as well
@e e You're right there.
Because with this woman, she always acts like victim to every bad thing that happens to her and has a lot of people, like me, stand by her side, but then she thinks she has every right to treat others however she likes--and as mentioned before, she never apologised for her attitude... that's a big sign of how self-absorbed she is and something I shouldn't have overlooked.
@@stanleypelham8965 Sounds like my mother! Ugh!
It sounds like you were being codependent before you cut her off. Good for you for not doing that anymore.
Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable and “rude” the first few times you do it. Setting boundaries can cost you. Considering how much peace and sanity you get in return, it is totally worth the price.
10. refuse to play 4:23
Forfeit the game before somebody else takes you outta the frame.
Linkin Park - Points of Authority
Moral of the story: "Dont let ur emotions take over, dont be to open, dont let people know ur vulnerable"
My older brother just calls out our mom on her bs whenever she acts like a victim lol it's so satisfying to witness
Thanks very much 🥰 I repeat this in my head several times a day: your joy is a narcissist's misery, and your misery is a narcissist's joy. Never give them joy again. Self love, strength and peace to all us survivors of narcissistic abuse. Namaste 🙏😍😍💪💪☮️☮️
amen!!!
My friends are the opposite of a narcassist they give when i dont want and it fills my heart
These videos are so relaxing and help so much. (Not commenting for attention, I really mean it!)
Oh wow. Gonna report that.
I did it.
This aint what im looking for im looking to unnarcicist my friend
@@abbadullreee3298 Lol
The info in this attached video is life changing and the best news you will ever hear on earth, literally th-cam.com/video/MGqCrbjH0pA/w-d-xo.html
Dealing with this now, thank you for the good advice.
Same here 🙏🏼
My favourite strategy on dealing with a narcissist is what I like to call the Turtle Shell tactic. Imagine the narcissist is an alligator and you are a turtle. When a narcissist attacks you, you just let their own behaviour bounce back to them: pretend that you agree with them, don't raise your voice, don't let they get into you and make it very clear, passively, that you are the mature one and watch their heads explodes with anger. It is the same as an alligator trying to bite a turtle: the turtle hide in their shell and the alligator ends up hurting itself.
This is very beneficial for me to avoid narcissistic people.
"If you're the best at everything then that means you're the best at being the worst."
Oh yes. I learned almost half of these at the age of 17 when escaping my mother, who I think never realised how unbelievably toxic and manipulative she is. A lot of narcissists I've noticed are arguing-machines, and they HATE it when you agree with them because ultimately you're killing the energy of the argument. Like purposely giving them the win. When I ran away, my mother still tried to keep contact by phone. I did feel a little bad for ignoring her, but she never learned how much she hurts those around her, and ignored my requests to leave me alone. Eventually I destroyed my phone and phone entirely. Since then I haven't heard from her, nor my step-father or any of my family. Tragically, it's probably the best thing I've ever done.
If they can't get positive attention/praise, they'll settle for negative attention (through arguments, drama, ridiculements, put-downs etc etc)
as someone also with a manipulative mother, im so glad you escaped!
I have that I will escape myself. I just need to stay in college, so I can supporters to drive me away from my manipulative mother.
I'm 17 and my mother is like this too. She has always been the victim in every situation since I can remember, and lately it's even worse. I'm hoping to move to my dad's tomorrow, I have a feeling I'll do the same as you and cut off contact. I don't think I'm capable of feeling bad for her anymore though, since all I see in her is manipulation and her trying to victimise herself. It's like the boy who cried wolf. It baffles me how narcissists can try to play victim whilst constantly attacking everyone around them.
This is how my mom acts too, it helps to know that other people have gone through the same trauma with a narcissist mother. I’ve cut all communication with her too.
Mirroring their behavior is rlly fun, they sometimes would disagree-even if it's an idea of them- it's so ironic it's funny😭
Fr 😭😭
I think I’ve been showing some signs of narcissism,
1. Highly doubting others
2. Underestimating people
3. Thinking there is always a way for me to win in any situations
I mean I doubt I really am a narcissist since I’m the type of person who can actually admit when I’m wrong. And etc. but I’m kinda worried.
A narcissist will never admit that they are wrong or a narcissist. So you’re on the right track.
That’s so awesome that you are self aware. I used to have narcissistic traits and you seem to be doing the right thing with being self aware and finding self help. Doesn’t sound like you have a full blown personality disorder. Big love
I think it's fairly unlikely that you truly are a narcissist. Just the fact that you float this suggestion is, at least to my inexpert understanding, probably an indicator that the 'problem' (if there actually is any problem, I don't wanna judge upon that) might be a different one. From what I know, most narcissists would never admit to them being narcissists - instead, they'd supposedly project it onto their inobedient supply, trying to make them look like the aggressor. If your line of thoughts regarding this causes you to be concerned, though, why don't you talk to a therapist to ease your mind?
Seek God while there is still time. Jesus comes back soon. th-cam.com/video/MGqCrbjH0pA/w-d-xo.html
@@ragephil5609 i think im a narcissist as well with all that signs and my parents, grandparents, great grand parents have those signs so i guess its kinda like a trait.
Thanks so much for this video. My father is a narcissist. I 4 years ago decided to try and cut the contact between us, since the mind games he played hurt me. It was a really hard decision to make.
I have used alot of the methods mentioned in this video. I will definitely recommend these tips, to someone who may need them.
Thank you, for again clarifying that I am not crazy
You are definitely not!
Had a narcissist mother (decided to cut my relationship with her and sort of "parent" myself from now on) almost two years ago, been in therapy the whole time and believe me, the sensation of finally being free from that trauma and abuse is incredibly big and full of hope, it hasn't been a straight way up and she has tried any way to contact me but, I'm the one in controll of my life and that has allowed me to finally have some emotionall stability before my 30's ... to all people who have any kind of narcissist, fight for yourself, you'll get there!
thank you for this. my brother is a narcissist and a sociopath so this was helpful.
I'm really sorry.
@SSuperior he has lowkey traumatized me throughout the course of over a decade by saying stuff like: "you're so annoying" and "you have no friends" and "everyone hates you" etc. because of his abuse I have become cripplingly anti-social because interactions with people make me so stressed out and paranoid that I might annoy the person or make them dislike or hate me.
Glad it was helpful! :)
Related to one. I’ve learned the best way of dealing with it is ignoring them just enough. Still in contact but treating them as if they don’t matter to you. Drives them crazy. Even when they really try something to gain attention, just react calmly (like suggest in the video) and ignore. They do the same to you if the can. Don’t budge or ever let your guard down. If you’re not related to them, and if you don’t have to deal with them on a normal basis, move on. You deserve better.
I needed to hear this. My mom just grounded me for 3 days because I didn't want to watch Christmas movies with her and because i make her feel like i dont love her enough to spend time with her. She knows i hate the holidays because of my depression but she still forces me to participate even when it makes me uncomfortable.
Dealt with a narcissistic father, had to endure it for years after my mother divorced him before I finally found a way to cut him off for good. I liked to call my plan "the no-sell technique": Not showing any emotion, not reacting in any intense or confrontational way, letting their words fall flat for a good few seconds and then just agreeing with the most calm tone I could put in my voice. Really helped me out when I eventually ended up in a relationship with someone who turned out to be narcissistic too, I followed the same steps to keep myself afloat until I found a way to fully cut contact.
I don't want to agree w/them cus i don't want to feed their delusions, so I just ignore them (the grey rock method)
@@tlam8086 I couldn't just ignore him, it was my father. If I ignored he would just keep demanding that I acknowledged it, and back when I was 16 we actually got into a fist fight because of it.
My method was to make him understand and listen to what I had to say. But everything I said was like "stop responding to me, you're this you're that" even though I was just trying to explain myself. It's very tiring and draining to just keep listening to them without saying a word. How did you do it? I always get to a point where I can't take it no more and start crying
@@io100x100 I usually answer that I'm way too stubborn for my own good. In all honesty, I think it's just how life built me. From my mother's own values, she raised me mostly by herself, to the struggles I had growing up, to my love for pro wrestling evolving into actually becoming a wrestler myself and thus learning how to stay stoic when I'm in pain. When I finally cut him off of my life I was 27, and it feels like I lived those 27 years under constant training. Just to survive until that glorious moment.
I had a shingles outbreak within 3 months of getting back with my narcissistic ex. At that time I didn’t know I was in the narcissistic cycle of being vacuumed in. I truly thought he did the work to grow and change for the better. Move back together, and BLOOP his true character revealed itself. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! Praise God something told me to start looking up narcissistic trait videos to know I was in a never ending cycle and to run before he truly put me back in the dark hole I spent 4 years climbing out of!
All of this is so true. Don’t explain, don’t argue, just ignore them and let them be the weirdos they are. I have 2 in my life - a sister especially. It’s awful.
This would've really helped last year, but then again I fought back and cut them off all on my own!
Which, again, last year was rough for me were it not for this channel as well. Thanks Psych2Go!
Same here. I dealt with one for almost a full year.
@Nicholas That's awesome to hear that you're doing well! And thank you for the recommendation.
@@gumballfan13 The hard part is walking away, isn't it?
@@nickthepick8043 Yeah it was. I'm super sympathetic, so I always felt bad for him. Eventually I saw him for who he was and left him.
Me 2 it was so bad
I've never met a narcissist, but this is still useful.
I highly doubt that
then youre the narcissist
@@Joegengstah I guess if I have, then I've been so affected by them I haven't noticed
@@rarecringe2446 Well, If I'm a narcissist, then I'm sure you're right as rain to be attacking random people on the internet. Seriously, calm down a bit.
@@anatoliasterling122 spoken like a true narc
I deal with an narcissist and a lot of this is spot on. Everything is always about them, all things my fault, very insecure, jealous and constantly I'm the blame or problem for literally EVERYTHING!!! He projects his issues and problems onto me, try to hurt me with words etc. Before even watching this video I didn't realize that I have begun to take the necessary steps to break free and reclaim my power. I do not deserve to be manipulated, mistreated emotionally, mentally, physically or any adjective... nobody deserves it. It was hard I constantly ran back to him time and time again because I thought I could work it out and because of our children, but now I have the strength and my spiritual eyes are open to exactly what is going on. You are worth more than what they are trying to get you to believe that you're not and you deserve the greatest things in life despite anything they say or do!!! Leave, reclaim your power!!! Most importantly if you have children DO NOT teach them how to be the narcissists toy and door mat!!
I remember my experience pretty well even though it happened years ago. He was a good friend who I knew for years. We grew up together. He was one of my first actual friends and the first person I met when we moved where I'm now. When we were young he never showed a sign or two about being a narcissistic or toxic person and we were like a brothers. Then a couple of years later he changed. I knew why he changed but at first I didn't noticed because I had a problems of my own (I was depressed for years and even to that days I was trying to wake myself up from this nightmare). He was acting more like an extrovert even though he was a one years before. He was having friends outside our group we had (We were 20 or more kids from the nearby buildings and we had a big outside area were we've played and grew for years). That didn't bothered me at first. Yet after some time I saw him truly and saw the big change. He made me a clown in front of my friends, which I really respected and viewed as my other big family. He used me so he could show to the others what a cool friend he is by which he distanced me from the others. He was a very good manipulator. He even set every of my childhood friends against me and I even had to fight with one of them (I lost). He brought down my self esteem lower than I ever imagined ( Know that I was in a heavy stage of my life and the depression was really hiting me hard even before his change). I really saw everything but I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to end my relationship with him but after everything he did I couldn't forgive him. At the end I revealed to him what a person he became and he used every last trick in his book to invalidate what I said him. At last he tried to attract to his side my most important and last childhood friend who I had. He used every situation, every little detail to make himself a really nice person in front of my friend yet I knew everything and saw through his lies. He even used that his family is relatively rich and showed my friend his cool material possessions which I didn't have. At the end I angrily took my friend home after we left without saying a word and told my friend everything. My friend understood and told me he would never ever talk or have any contact with him. I too cut all contact with him and that's how I ended it. At the end he destroyed my most important relationships, made me more cold towards other people and nearly made me a friendless introvert who is scared to go outside and meet new people. This was 5 to 6 years ago and the effects of our relationship can even recall to this day. Yet now I am at my best. I am feeling pretty well for a person with long time depression ( last time I felt it was like a year or two ago but I still feel it creeping around. I will deal with it no need to worry). Today I have a lot of good and respectful friends, which I respect even more after this nightmare. The fat big lesson which I learned and you should from now on is to be very careful with who you meet and become friends. This is one of the not so bad stories i have from my 17 years experience which I am sure can teach a lot of lessons. Now I think it's time to apologize because my English is not the best. Thanks to all who read this comment to the end.
awww, that's nice story i love seeing depressed people finally stand up and having good times, as im still depressed....
hope your day going good Michael, your hope and goals get a succes and making this life the best thing you ever live, never gone bsck into depression again...
i envy you michael...
@@Peanuts76 Thank you a lot!!! I hope that everything changes for the better in your life. I can't really say I achieved happiness and I still classify myself as depressed. Yet nowadays I am grateful for what happened during this dark era of my life. It gave me a lot of lessons which help me in my everyday life. Don't envy me because there is no point in comparing two different in a lot of ways stories. Depression took 11 years of my life and destroyed pretty much everything I had before it. I hope you succeed in your goals and find your way out of the deep, sad and creepy hole in which you are.
@@michaelkovachki5160 nah, michael, seeing people like you fighting all those suffering alone, i obligate to company you michael, you got friend here, as we are the same person, but differs in situations and where we live....
live probably very hard, but well, we have to make easy on us, as i know depressed people are pretty harsh and judgemental sometimes....
what's the time there buddy? it'ss already midnight here, 1:30 AM...
@@michaelkovachki5160 we are those lonely people, but idk if there's any possibility that you make new friends out there, Europe probably very different with where i live, as I'm Indonesians, people here like to socialise so much, idk about how Europes socialize though...
@@Peanuts76 well it's really complicated. I live in one of those small and underdeveloped countries that are in Europe and here for person like me it's hard to find people with which I can make meaningful relationships. If I am correct in Europe is not as hard as it's in here. On the other hand I am a lucky guy because I have a small group of helpful and understandable friend who are by my said in every needed moment. Yet I keep my life and problems away from them in a lot of the cases.
I always thought my dad was just doing his usual "Parenting," I grew up to become a better person to realized that it wasn't like that, this video indeed is a great help for everyone with a Narcissist person, and it all happened to me and my sister and my mom. We were backstabbed by our own father, didn't even know how to say "I'm sorry," properly, funny that he is also good at chest and is indeed willing to take you down no matter what.
It's been almost 3 years we didn't have contact with him, our last conversation indicates that he had lost, you can literally see him break down and started stating lies. At that time, he looks for sympathy, he would say he was sorry but continues to state "facts" that we can't live without him, he even threatened us, infront of his family who raised him that he will sell our house, threatened he will leave us because he know that "you're nothing without me," but we we're far beyond than that, we ain't falling for it,.
And now, he's with his family who raised him, which, ironically, he backstabbed them before and refuses to admit that he did and blamed it on us, now we look the bad image. However, we didn't go dwell much into it, we moved on as of now.
I highly suggest this video, I gotta thank Psych2Go for making this great video. If ever you are in a relationship with a Narcissist, I suggest leaving as much as you can and follow these ways!
Thank you, Like me you are on the road to a happier life ...Happy Christmas to you and your Family
@@alisonmansfield9052 Ah, thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you and your family as well!
this sounds so much like my father. he backstabbed me (us) too, just that he was doctor at a hospital and therefore had an important linking spot, which caused serious problem. im still struggling today, its just crazy. its like, backstabbing family is the highest honor thing for them, cuz it shows they have no mercy with own family, and make familys life as hard as possible. adults in generla... its better than an orgasm for them, to work against the family. its social virtue signaling, they can go to peers, and tell how strict and good parents they are loool
Having "been there" I would say these are excellent ideas. One of my favorite things about this is that you don't need a therapist to do this. In fact, It could be worthwhile to listen to this video over and over a few times to drive home that YOU have more control over your own life (and who you chose to spend time with) than you may have thought. Good luck to those of you who are still trying to break free. You may think you need that person, but ultimately you have the potential to see that they are the ones who needed you to act on their dysfunction.
"I know I should despise you, but I can only pity you for what you are. I would help you to better yourself but I think life is simply a lot better without you and frankly, you are unworthy of my time."
- my dad's response to his last narcissistic partner
He's wise enough to spot the signs early so thankfully she never really managed to get a grip on him.
When you have family members who are narcissistic, you fear of becoming like them
Thankfully, they have become my muse for characters in novels and stories
Yes. I agree. It’s a struggle.
Yup yup I'm making them as a villain in my light novel series and the only way to get out of toxic relationship is by follow of your growth nurture, even you're strict or something else, it's better to be honest than following a shallow path
Omg. I agree writing is one of my biggest ways to cope. And sometimes I will incorporate my experience into the stories I write.
good, as I don't have any talents in writing, my english pretty bad, but well, hope you got good stories there...
@@lil_britz7589 do you like comics? it might be a good ideas to expands your stories into comics and drawings....
My brother truly is one of the most ruthless narcissists i've ever known and for all my childhood I was his punching bag. I'm glad I managed to develop some of these on my own but there is truly great advice here.
Take care, reach out, find friends. It's great to bring attention to such a common source of distress
Which tip really worked for you? I am experiencing this as well.
This video helped me realize my last relationship was with a narcissist. I’ve always been very strong minded of a person, so it was odd to me when they would come at me with their anger or self victimization or when they would want me to communicate at all hours of the day. During the course of that relationship I got so worn down and I was mentally and physically exhausted to the point I had a psychological episode and needed to be hospitalized. Two years in retrospect I’m glad I’m free of that situation and I’ve had ample time to rebuild myself and to heal from the trauma of not only loving a narcissist but living with one. These tips work, from my experience, and I hope they help someone else free themselves from this kind of situation.
I find that making or fixing things is useful because there is something tangible resulting from a negative motivator.
🤗 that hug is for anyone that is the child of a narcissist. I'm sorry.
I've been having the most difficult time after breaking up with my ex who displayed quite a bit of narcissism. It hurts like hell to realize too late how much you poured your heart into the relationship, and it meant nothing to them. I'm feeling a bit better these days, but still dealing with a fair amount of trauma from it. These videos help me a lot, thank you. 🌻
OMG! I just realized thru this video that every person I have ever interacted with in my life is undiagnosed Narcissist and I have always been the victim. I thought these were just people not acting in a way that I like, but since this video I have the skills to diagnose them as NPD as if I was an experienced Clinical Psychologist
lol i hope u r sarcastic
@@piggyscute943 shhhhh dont give it away
LMFAOOOO
bUt iM aN eMpAtH
I find mirroring or agreeing to em as the most best if you would still want to be their friend.
This’ll help me deal with my narcissistic stepfather who doesn’t treat my mother right. Thank you, kindly. 😌
Feel ya
I can’t thank you enough for this information. I was severely abused by my father & other family members & am one the family scapegoat. Despite EVERYTHING that some of my siblings have seen as well as gone through themselves. They not only continue to take his side but will go on extravagant vacations with him & send me pictures of their trips in addition to denying how severely the abuse still continues to impact me today.
I work so hard every moment of every day to try to heal myself & now thanks to this information & many of your other videos it will continue to give me the tools & strength to continue to heal. Thank you so very much 🙏🏼
Thanks for the advice. I've grown up with not one, not two but three narcissists in the house and it's driving me mad how powerless I am against them.
be patient and educated, try to make plan to get out if you can....
Ditto! Hello! Join the club!
Having dealt with parents who behaved narcissistically (neither are, in my estimation, clinical narcissists) and struggled really hard to reclaim my own person including educating myself via the likes of Ross Rosenberg and Anna Runkle (both TH-camrs), I want to flag that what was said under "grey rock technique" is not bad information or advice but definitely not the grey rock technique. The technique is indeed the main try when complete cutoff is not an option, but it's mainly about pretending to be a grey rock - hence the name of the technique. Show no sincere thought or emotion; offer no reactions; volunteer no details; show no interest; give answers so generic and vague as to be meaningless; give them absolutely nothing to hook onto. "Nothing to see here; move along."
And the points of advice I would really stress other than grey rock technique are complete cutoff where possible, understanding yourself, learning to establish and defend your own boundaries, and finding community where you get genuine empathy. Narcissists have a nose for people who are empathic by nature and lack proper boundaries; people with proper boundaries get a sense something's wrong once they get beyond the initial impression a narcissist puts on, and narcissists find them unattractive. Similarly people looking to offer empathy tend to get attracted to people who want to consume tons of it (narcissists for example) - so if you are such a person, find community where you can express your empathy to people who take ownership and responsibility for their own feelings and are grateful that you're willing to spend your emotional energy on them even though you don't owe it to them.
May everyone be blessed with healthy relationships that have good intentions towards you and love you just as you are🌿
i really think no contact is the best solution. when i went no contact with my narcissistic father i stopped my depression medication immediately, i felt relieved. i know going no contact is hard and not realistic sometimes but it is the best solution.
Moreover, this constant stress we live with a narcissist can lead to autoimmune disorder. I believe that my multiple sclerosis is because of living under constant stress. i believe my body!
the pain I lived I use it as my driving force to help others who are undergoing the same thing.
There is hope, it just needs awareness and time!!!
I'm a narcissist. My sister mirror my actions like you said *Psych2Go* and it kinda work!
Thanks to you, my sister is growing stronger. Thanks :)
💖🥰😍❤
Yes, remaining calm is the best, they love chaos so refuse to engage 💜
my old best friend used to be very narcissistic to me, he always loved to tell me that i'm not; attractive, enough, smart and so on. My boyfriend helped me realise that, that it's really unhealthy and this video helps me honestly alot, so I don't try to go back to that person. Thank you.
As someone who has recovered from a decade-old narcissistic friendship that ended right before the pandemic this list is super helpful as I try and make new friends (I’m particularly wary about this because I tend to attract narcissists).
However I would like to know the definition of mirroring in this case- are you supposed to treat the narcissist the same way they’re treating you? If so this seems a little dangerous depending on the situation, as I feel it could enrage the narcissist to a violent peak, but maybe I’m over-thinking it (my previous friendship wasn’t physically abusive FTR). In any case would love some further insight into this.
Thanks PTG!
it's more like ridiculousely provoking them constantly without being "secretly" mean and always do it on non important things, they will be annoyed but they won't be able to blame you since you can keep your calm and force them to actually show that they are the asshole
@@Narvalo_Lastar Got it, thanks! Either way I don't think I could be brave enough to do that one lol - props to those who can!
You’re not alone I also got out of a decade long friendship with one I just wanna let you know that you’re not alone in this and I wish you a great recovery God bless.
A good friend of mine told me one of the greatest pieces of advice just be aware of your surroundings especially when it comes to people when you start making new friends
I was unfortunately friends for many years with a narcissist. Took me a long time to suss that person out, and only after reading up in psychology. I now realise how much damage was done to me as a result. It's incredible how your life improves when such a person is cut out of your social circle.
I’ve noticed myself having narcissistic patterns and it’s not even intentional. I even began shutting myself off from people because I was afraid I was starting to hurt them. I’ve gotten better now and I’ve explained to the people closest to me and they say it’s fine they became accustomed to it and that I’ve improved greatly. Having boundaries set on me and sticking to them really helped
i’m struggling with this right now. i’ve lost close friends because of it. they told me that i’m really toxic and i make everything about me. knowing that i hurt people is ruining me. i don’t know how to get help. i’m very aware of it at all times and feel so awful and i can’t help it. i would never try to make people feel bad on purpose, im a really bad person. do you have any advice? i don’t want a therapist because i don’t think i’d ever be able to admit this to someone face-to-face.
I needed a reminder after 5 years of no contact. Thank you. It’s like they have a rolodex of cycled victims and fly monkeys.Compassion for the fragile soul.
I learned a lot of these techniques as a kid, without even realizing it or knowing what I was dealing with, instinctive tools of survival; but boy oh boy did I get a kick out of the reactions they would get... I had a wonderful mother and two well-trained sisters.
To avoid narcissists, don't allow yourself to be put in a position where you can be utilized for their advantage; which is nearly impossible in meaningful relationships. I learned this when overseas in developing countries where almost all so-called love is for some non-love based gain. Don't allow their charm to seduce you. Watch for manipulation. Peace.
My mother is a narcissist and its very common for her to make me feel guilty so I'd do work for her. She did it recently by telling me to not come for Christmas
It so happens I’ve got nobody to speak to about this and actually feel heard. I’m thankful these videos exist.
I was working under a narcissist through last year, and at some point he called me an enigma after a year of emotional abuse. Being an enigma and deadpanning in conversations with him ended up being what helped me get out of it. While I am still triggered by the mere mention of his name, these tips really are helpful and I can feel myself healing every day
Rethink and Reverse tactics could also work. Relating to 2:45. What I mean by that is rethinking what they actually meant and do not take it personally. You can then frame in your head that it is them who talk rubbish, not you. You are good enough.
xo Amy & Jim
i dont even know how to explain how much I needed this rn
thank you so much psych2go
Same
Each time I watch a video about narcissit people, I'm afraid to recognize my older sister more and more. Behaviours, trauma she left on my parents and I... I honestly never thought she could be such person, but I can only say that yes, she is a narcissist. There's too many things that she does and says, that are on those videos, not only this one in particular. I thought it was only me, but now I understand why I am so insecure, stressed about everything about myself and many other stuff. First step for healing is to understand what's happening ! Thanks for sharing and helping people out to understand more about themselves and people around them.
Didn't define what is Narcissist at first.
I mean, you nicely give people answers to unknown questions, can't help wondering what are we solving.
So sweet voice.
It’s the “explaining myself” that I find hardest. Thank you for showing me this ☺️Merry Christmas 🎄
In my art class, is a narcissistic person, now the whole class can see this video, and use it against her. Thank you
@SSuperior
That’s right nobody cares, especially about your opinions.
Send it to them all lol
@SSuperior
Oh I know and no worries you didn't offend me, you're just annoying.
@SSuperior
I'm not a guy.
@SSuperior
I don't really see how that's funny.
I really don't understand boys.
My dad is a narcissist and I have to go see him this Christmas. I can’t not go otherwise he will take my mum to court again. Your videos really help ❤️❤️
What’s crazy is that even after everything this person has put me through, there’s still a part of me that finds myself thinking about them and even longing for them, and I don’t know how to stop it. I think of all the terrible moments and feel so angry, but then the good memories flood through my mind and it makes me miss them, although I clearly shouldn’t. I don’t know how to get through it.
Look up trauma bond.
This is more Indepth than I've ever gone on the topic. How do you deal with a narcissist that you can not get away from? Like if they're your parent and you'll have to deal with them for years before you can even take care of yourself.
Exactly! That’s what I’m wondering!
if you that ongoin person, why not getting out and making new friends?
minimize your time as little as possible around your parent, my lil brother done this, as probably this also work with you...
Living for 30 years under a father who had the full range of dark tried traits, I have used all of these tactics and a few more. My mother, who was gullible and not quite so perceptive, died as a result of all his years of abuse. The fact that I survived is living proof that these tricks work.
i also have a friend which is a narcissist ..this really helped me bc she always discomforts me
I have a narcissist roommate. This video was spot on! Thank you ! It was very helpful! Don’t engage. Walk away! It works! Stay CALM.
Great vid as always❤️
A friend of mine is actually in this situation. So Im glad for this video cuz now I am informed and can actually help my friend deal with his situation
Your visa have helped me so much, as someone I know literally fits the exact description of a narcissist. They bully me, lie to my friends, and then say I overreact to everything and I have emotional issues. Now that I follow these guidelines, he is at a loss for words. THANK YOU!!!
The pain is so great. The struggles and challenges seem endless and unendurable. You almost feel broken or are broken. Rest if you must but don’t stop. Don’t give up, Don’t give in. You can and will surmount the insurmountable. Rise up, put yourself together and march forth. Make it count and be remarkable ❤️.
I think most of your videos make me high up my standars in any relationship which may be a good thing in a way but, unfortunally I think it can become too much because although are very educational, a lot of the times you cannot change certain dynamics in your life (and of course people) unless you remove yourself from the situation. And even by doing that it might take some time to heal. ):