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What You Can Do When When Death Is Messy
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My wife died with ALS disease. She was diagnosed 2/2014 at Mayo Clinic. The doctors there said she had 3-5 years life expectancy. We got involved with ALS local support group. They were absolutely wonderful for both of us. Specialized Drs checked her progress monthly and every month she went downhill. First came the wheel chair and walker. Then came her inability to speak or swallow food. She had everything she needed. We used our own code to communicate. Bathroom was moving feet side to side. Yes was wiggle right foot . No was wiggle left foot, etc. we had Hope Hospice the last six months and they were great. Breathing machines, monitors for everything. Feeding tubes, medication schedules. The whole time she never once complained about anything. We prayed to our Lord Jesus a lot! We had close friends and neighbors that came in and helped, so I could run errands and grocery store. She died 1/17/2019. Grieving never stops. I include her in my prayers and I pray often. "For God gave his only begotten son so that those that believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life"....
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hello everyone, im just a cleaner but a cleaner in an instiution where people with the end stage of dementia are living. I have seen some heavy stuff and i have conversations with some people everyday. I like it a lot. It makes me feel good to help them with a cleaner living room for example. In the last 9 weeks ive seen 5 people die.....but still i feel good to have helped❤
My great grandfather passed when my grandma was 12. That's who was there when her time was close. She threw up her arms and excitedly yelled "daddy". Not a single one of us in the room was surprised that he was the one.
I wish my family would stop denying what is happening to me. I can not discuss it with them because they think death is a bad thing. I'm excited to see the beyond. I would be more so if I were free to discuss it.
Also, people see that I am on the younger side and even put down my intellect and say things like, "you are too young to think about death". I'm in heart failure, kidney failure and reached the later part of emphesema. I've had many close calls already. And the thing is, a person knows. When you are nearing that place. You feel it and you know. I'm sad because my family are refusing to allow me to say my I love yous.
Please say what you want to say! They will deal with it when they can, but if they hear you say the I love you's then they will be able to reflect back to these days when you were still here.
God bless you when you cross over, hopefully going to Him! ❤️ 🙏
Deanna, you do look so young and beautiful. I’m truly sorry for your pain. God bless you.
🙏💐
It's really important that you say what you have to say now, even if your family don't want to hear it. You need to have peace in your last days/weeks/months and when you're gone your family will remember what you said. If they truly won't listen, could you write it down for them?
maybe you cant make them listen. but you can say, what you want. when you want. and as often as you want.
maybe you reach them anyway.
may the force be with you. ❤
My brother was in the hospital and decided to stop all treatment. He lived apx 8 days after that. The nurses were so wonderful. They administered the morphine he needed to stay comfortable. There was 1 CNA tho that I become enraged over her actions. My mother noted that no one had changed my brother diaper in at least 10 hours. She told the nurse. The CNA came in a chewed my mom out because she got in trouble. I told the head nurse in front of the CNA “when it’s your child dying you wouldn’t tolerate that and I definitely won’t tolerate anyone chewing out my family while my brother is dying “. Thank god we never saw her again
That beyond horrid! I'm so very sorry y'all went through that. My heart aches for you.
That many hours in a wet or soiled diaper is definitly unacceptable. Nobody needs a diaper rash on top of everything else they are suffering. If family wasn't there looking after him, nobody would ever even know.
I like to see both sides of any situation though. These places are typically understaffed and the nurses overworked. Family being there, any chance they might have changed their loved one's diaper ??
Proud of you for being an advocate for your loved one. This homecare/hospice nurse is proud of you.
Some people should never be CNAs. They make it to easy to be one I think. So sorry for Your pain and loss. 🤗
I am so sorry about that
My father in law passed away in May 2024, about a minute or two before his last breath he had frothy vomit, not a lot but no one told us, except you, to expect that. I would have freaked out otherwise, but I expected it, calmly cleaned him up and watched his last breath. Our hospice team was wonderful and we will forever be thankful for them, but you are the bomb....thank you, thank you, thank you.
My brother was on hospice for hepatocarcinoma. He had no pain until the day before his passing. He had 1 dose of morphine. The next morning he passed so peacefully. As much as it hurt to know he died, I was so thankful he had a peaceful passing. As my grandmother would have said “he just slept away to Jesus”
My husband had terminal agitation about 48 hrs before he died. I had no idea what was going on or how to deal with it. He suddenly didn't know me & thought he was being poisoned with meds & water. He refused both. Hospice nurse came & couldn't calm him either so just left me alone with him & told me to stay out of his sight & call fire department to help get him up if he stood up & fell. I was at whits end. Thank God the next day after several calls to hospice he was moved to hospice house & was calmed & well cared for til passing. He once again called me his "sweetie pie" before he went peacefully asleep.
Julie, these videos have been so helpful. I am currently watching my father pass with cancer 3 types and suffering agitation. It's exhausting, and this video will help my mother understand what dad is doing and why hospice nurses are adjusting his medication. Safety for him and us. Thanks for helping me share what we are seeing.
I'm so sorry. Sending prayers your way.
God bless your father. I am so sorry.
@kitties260 I know exactly what your going through honey, I just lost my mom and had to witness this it was horrific! Had to keep her sedated and morphine to keep her pain free and calm . The agitation was horrible! Nurse Julie’s videos helped me tremendously! God bless you soon your dad will be in Paradise no more pain and suffering! Hang in there . 🙏🙏🙏
@@lisaleed7615 Bless you. Sorry for your loss.
I understand what you're going through. My dad passed away in 2022 of congestive heart failure in hospice. He definitely went through agitation. It was heartbreaking and painful to see your loved one go through this. I didn't even know there was a process of dying until my dad. Losing a parent is one of the hardest and most painful things to go through. I actually was the one who discovered my dad dead. I woke up with a lot of anxiety and just knew he was gone. I got up to check on him, and I was right
My mom had terminal agitation until hospice gave me meds for her. She needed it. She had broken 4 ribs in a fall and was still trying to move around and get out of bed pretty consistently. Once she came home from the hospital and was on hospice, it was better for her. She died just 2 days after being on hospice.
My mom too. COPD. I had to do the meds. My sister and aunt wanted me to hold off the second night. My mom was out of it. I was my mom’s caretaker because my sister lives in FL and my brother lives in RI and was still working. My mom had to be constantly medicated because she could no longer breathe even with the oxygen. I’m still struggling but I do know I helped her transition into her next journey. It’s so hard
@@annemariewheeler1404 💓
I wish we could get Medical Aid in Dying rights and care in every state. Human beings should not have to suffer miserably in their last days.
Get your last wishes for care and medical instructions in a living will. Hospice social worker can help.
Agree!!!!!!
My husband passed away two days ago with assistance. I thank God he didn’t have to suffer to the end with pancreatic/liver cancer. A saving grace indeed.
@@michele-su6zy so sorry for your loss 😢
@@michele-su6zy sincere condolences with your immeasurable loss.
Your channel is so needed, I’ve always been terrified of the dying process after seeing my grandma gasping for air and looking terrified. You have brought perspective and understanding which helps me a lot and makes me less scared
I agree there is a lot of scary myths, lack of knowledge of the bodily process of dying and misunderstandings. Death and dying process education is essential, especially for the terminally I'll and the family, friends and care givers. Education and knowledge of the process can greatly dispel the fears and guilt that comes with death.
I truly hope that this video will have given you some comfort and reassurance. I also would have been terrified witnessing this and it is one thing that has really bothered me about the passing of my drling father from Covid in the week before official lockdown came into force.
Once in hospital (admitted for a suspected UTI) but tested positive for Covid, my family and I were told we could NOT visit (even in an emergency) and were NOT even able to speak to him on his OWN phone. We were also told to STOP phoning to see how he was and tOLD a Dr would phone ONCE a day at Midday with updates 😞
Five days after being admitted he took avery fast downturn and died totally alone. He was "found" over an hour later than his last nurse round, soiled and in bed. I have had nightmares due to guilt and stress of imagining him choking and gasping for air, basically slowly suffocating.
I applied for his medical records and wish I hadn't as a DNR form was signed by a Dr when he was FIRST admitted into ER !! We were neither phoned, asked or advised this had happened so he passed with no medical assistance 😞
Channels like this are so vital in helping to remove the fear and hell that many relatvies will go through and suffer from.
My father passed just over four years ago and the guilt is as bad as the fvery first days of his passing and the night terrors still happen too.
Thank you for all who post here and for Nurse Jackie especially 🙂x
Totally agree and have experienced the same with my Grandparents! Julie has been such a blessing to me as I prepare myself on what to expect with my elderly parents!
I’m sorry she died that way. Was she on hospice?
@@twintasticboys3499 How awful, for you and your Family. I'm am so incredibly sorry that your Dad and your Family, had to endure this...that is heartbreak, on a whole other level. Sending you huge hugs ! 😔😔😔
What I can’t stand is family who doesn’t want their loved one to be medicated. They are against “drugging” the person. Why the hell not? It’s cruel.
I agree
If you have to give me so much it takes me out. Do it. Don't drag it out!
@@monongahelacats I think from my experience with my mom dying from Parkinson's and I was the family member who was talking to our hospice nurse, the rest of my family was against pain relief drugs because of fear of my Mom getting addicted, lack of understanding of death process and symptoms and stages as Julie has explained. My mom died 5 years ago and my brother and sister both were against the pain reliever and to my knowledge did not want to learn about it or the process. At times the disagreements were quite intense. I can't even begin to mention how helpful Nurse Julie has been, even these years later. I purchased her book as well.
@@sandradankowski6120 True, but when a person has less than 6 months to live, who cares if they become dependent on the medication? 🤪
@@monongahelacats I agree totally with you but for some people that is where denial comes in and lack of understanding of the process. Some people also react more emotionally rather than practically, as I mentioned.
@@sandradankowski6120 I absolutely agree with you. Denial is strong factor that I see all the time.
I cried when you described Termin agitation because my husband had that for literally weeks before he went into hospice and he only went into hospice because we asked. He’s been gone eight years. I did my best, but I am crying right now. I wish we had known someone like you months before he died.
❤
This very is valuable but painful to absorb. Let's all hope to pass away in our sleep.
I want to be awake, alert, and aware. What you propose makes me not want to sleep and I'm already a lifelong insomniac. Nonetheless, I hope you go peacefully and as you wish.
This is my wish as well
Amen to that. 🙏
💐🙏
Watching a dying loved one suffering from immense pain is really hard. You got drugs, you got needles, make it go away! NOW! That’s got to be tough on you nurses.
Respect to the nurse julies out there.
Nurse Julie, I really wish hospice companies would let families know what you're educating us on, so that people would know what to expect, when the process is very near. Your videos are very comforting. Thank you! 😘
You are worth more than gold, Julie, thank you.
My mother had a massive brain stem hemorrhage, so she was locked in - aware of what was going on, but unable to communicate. She showed signs of agitation, so they heavily sedated her. (She was in ICU in the Houston Medical Center.)
This morning, daughter held her grandmother in laws hand and wished her safe journey. She passed at 6:30 am. She fought so that she got finally put in the hospice and thought to get her pain meds. This poor lady suffered for almost a year with pain. The whole family didn't want her on medication. I'm really glad she was able to escape her bonds and be pain-free.
I'm so sorry for the "battle" the family went through! When someone is on that last journey, medications should be the least of their worries. It reminds me 35 years ago my uncle-in law got upset with the Dr's trying to deny pain meds for breast cancer that had spread with his life time companion. He said, "WHAT, IS SHE GOING TO GET ADDICTED? MY GOSH, SHES DYING" !!!!!
@@mariehampton740 I think that was the families issue They were worried and I kind of was really shocked that they were denying pain medication. This lady had massive gangrene in her foot They were days away from taking her in for amputation surgery when she passed away. So this poor lady was in pain for over a year
❤🎉
@@vampyresimmortalkiss We have been so brainwashed against drugs like morphine and afraid of addiction that when it is needed to provide comfort from pain in the dying process of a family member, we won't give it to them because we are afraid of addiction. They won't get addicted because they will die first and dose is not that strong . I had this disagreement with my brother and sister when my mom was dying. They were afraid she would become an addict and it would kill her. Well the hospice nurse & I gave it to her when she was agitated the last few days of her life. It took the edge off the agitation and pain. Thank you nurse Julie for affirming my decision to use it in spite of family.
I feel it’s ridiculous to keep a loved one in pain because the family members are afraid of addiction or whatever….they are dying, let them have some relief. Let them leave this world not suffering. This is how my family sees love and kindness at the end.
You have truly given people more confidence and strength for end of life scenarios. Which is something that a lot of people, even to this day, refuse to talk about.
My mom and dad had to be put in 24 hour Hospice Home, because me and my 5 siblings live in states far away from California, my mom fell in January and I knew as soon as I saw her in Early February, that she was dying. She, who was always so patient with our dad, couldn’t handle his non stop talking & keeping everyone awake. He can’t stand up or walk, but somehow, he was getting up in the night and rearranging the beds and my mom was in the worst pain I’ve ever witnessed. We had to open his comfort kit and give him Lorazapam at night. In March, I knew, from watching your videos, Julie, when mom stopped eating and refusing liquids, that she was dying that week. I knew immediately when she entered Active Dying and she passed calmly and peacefully on March 19, 2024. My dad got very lucid, while she was dying and so I was comforting him and checking her, that last afternoon, evening, she passed at 7:03pm. Funeral was beautiful and I am grieving, but my dad is still with us, I just spent a few weeks with him. Me and my siblings are doing our best to visit him as often as possible. He is deaf with dementia, so it’s hard to know how long he has left. He gets agitated, but he’s calming down, because they keep readjusting his meds. He knows who I am, he knows my siblings and our spouses, but he’s not able to talk well now, he works hard to speak and he is so sweet and loving, he’s confused and he misses mom, they were together for 70 years. I keep watching your videos, hoping to learn more and try to help my dad. He truly wants to be with mom, it’s going to break my heart again, but I know he’ll be happy when he gets to be with mom. I can’t tell him he can let go, because he can’t hear me.
I lost both my parents on hospice one day apart,February 4and 5 ! It still hurts when I think of them ,but I do know they are together and in a better place.Hang in there you are stronger than you think!
I am so sorry for your loss. I buried my mother in March 2024 (Hospice at home). May God bless your dad and your family.
If you are dying you should get all the good kinds of pain meds. I was a cna doing end of life home health care. So stupid doctors not wanting to get the dying person addicted i have seen family refuse to give pain meds for that reason to. I can just imagine things have gotten worse with the whole attitude on pain. I already live in chronic pain i am afraid they will just leave me in pain.
My dying grandmother would not take her morphine because she didn't want to become a "damned drug addict!" People that are dying don't become addicts. Please, keep them comfortable as they pass!
Just ordered her book. Her videos have helped me feel reassured that I made the right decisions during my mom's dying process. we had hospice and they were great the last two weeks of her life, but I had witnessed many of the dying process symptoms prior to engaging with Hospice. Now in retrospect processing those decisions has greatly helped my understanding thanks to Nurse Julie.
I don't want anyone to tell me I must wait 12 HOURS for pain relief. That's unacceptable!
My take on that was that it may take up to 12 hours to figure out the correct dose of the correct medications - maybe during those 12 hours the dose will be too high and knock you out for a bit, or too low so that you still feel some pain. But I didn't get from this video that you wouldn't feel any relief at all for 12 hours. At least, that's what I'm hoping!
You are not understanding what she is saying. It takes time to find the right dosage of medication, for example, morphine for pain, that will give the patient pain relief. We start at a low dose and work our way up. We have to find the right amount that will give them relief and not over sedate. We cannot start out at a high dosage, over sedate and depress their respirations. Does that clear things up? Julie does a remarkable job explaining various aspects of hospice nursing.
Yes mam I agree
@@gemmarozich1518 yes you are correct I consulted our hospice nurse as I medicated my mom and slowly increased dosage under advisement until she was calmer or in less pain. We had to record our use and dose amount of the controlled drugs. It was a process but glad I had nurse to consult when light dose didn't work. That's what they are there for..
We were waiting for medication to be given to one of my dying residents. It seemed like it was taking forever. Poor man was calling out for his mama. I warmed up a blanket in the dryer for him and when i wrapped it around him he became 70% more relaxed. Now its one of my go to's. Anxious mad aggitated? Here lets get a warm blanket.
I love how you cover all bases Julie. You have a natural intelligence to use your command of the English language and reassure your followers that it's not the rule. You avoid absolutes so you don't mislead us. I notice you're always very careful with your wording & it comes completely natural for you. Your compassion, knowledge & amazing communication ability are so important to the dying and their loved ones. Thank goodness people like you have our backs. Its very comforting having our fears validated and explained. I dont believe anyone in the dying process should suffer pain & distress, if that means bigger doses of medication you reassure us the only thing to do at these times is to sedate the patient.
Ive heard some frightening stories of doctors & nurses going by the clock with medication, reminding the patient they have to be very careful because strong pain meds are addictive.
I've never heard a more stupid statement when the patient is terminal & in their last days/weeks.
I agree for patients expected to recover fully that yes, medical professionals must be mindful of the potential for addiction. It's simple common-sense. I know this, I'd love to have someone like you supporting me and/or my loved ones when our time comes. I hope you can pass your amazing skills onto your colleagues.
Gabapentin was a life saver for me when I had shingles. That stuff was a God send!
I purchased your book and it has helped me tremendously. I am in cancer remission and talked about death with my family a lot but they did not want to hear it. I am not scared to die, not that I plan too anytime soon but I wanted your book not only for me but for my family to read. My father in law almost died last year and the talk of death was talked about briefly but avoided. Thank you for the work you do.
@@rosannenunnery9643 oh you are so wise to get her book. I just ordered it. I hope you stay in remission. End of life and dying process issues are some of the most difficult things for family and friends to discuss openly and frankly. Too much fear and emotion involved, that actually could be alleviated to a great degree if discussed
@@sandradankowski6120that is what I am hoping because it is a reality. I know emotions are high especially when someone goes from being very vibrant to suddenly unable to walk.
Julie, my husband is in the last stages of cancer (lung cancer gone to the bone). I’m trying to help him stay ahead of the pain. He is getting very confused at night and in the morning. He travels around the house at night usually ends up on the back deck looking at his river. I usually let him sleep, because if he passes, that would be the most beautiful ending for him.
I helped my Mothers caregiver change her diaper in the last days. What a gift. She changed 1000s on me. Opportunity to to help and heal. IMHO
I think I have commented before. My husband has Glioblastoma mf, we found this out in January. He did radiation but couldn’t tolerate Chemo. They gave him a short Expiration date, but it is now almost 6 months. He is totally bed bound and is on Hospice, and we have a minor child. My point is that I learned so much from watching you. People were saying he needed a feeding tube, and I had an educated retort, thanks to you. I am in the Medical field but didn’t like this part of life. Things are difficult but I have a better understanding of the process, and educated responses for my child. Thank you for all you do!❤
😢❤. If he’s a veteran it has been linked to deploying under the PACT Act passed by Congress. Don’t know if that helps. I wish your husband a peaceful as possible transition.
Thank you Julie for helping me understand my dad’s final weeks of life. We had hospice come in and showed us how to manage his pain and keep him safe and comfortable while letting him pass at home. Your videos have helped me the last 6 months understand the process and prepare for his last days without being afraid. Bless you for educating myself and my family and allowing my dad to have time at home with all of us there when it was time to say goodbye with dignity. You truly gave me the strength and knowledge I needed to say goodbye and help him pass surrounded with dignity and love. You are an angel. Thank you!
This is such a great video - I wish I’d have had it 2 months ago before I went through the end with my mom, who was unconscious but had terminal agitation and signs of being in pain at the end. It took hours to get that under control during her last night and it was horrible for ME to watch, it haunted me afterwards. I felt guilty that I didn’t know how to help my mom relax and alleviate her pain. Meanwhile the hospice nurse was trying to get the pain under control, but it took time, like you said. We’d give her medicine then she’d choke on it, then we’d have to wait an hour to see how that affected her, then give more… so many times I lost count. FINALLY she settled down, relaxed, and actually passed away within 2 hours of being at peace.
Good for you discussing this. My husband's last 2 weeks were endlessly agitated ,plus he pooped about 8 times a day despite not eating and I had to clean him and change him constantly. Luckily my hospice people were very supportive and informative. His last few hours saw him agitated despite medicating him up the wazoo. I hit him with everything we had. Knowing what to expect was a huge comfort and help, because it became a chaotic situation.
My husband is in hospice at home with Alzheimer's and a live-in caregiver. The hospice nurse is great. She listens to me and we come up with next steps of medication. I trust her. The pain from metastatic prostate cancer is now controlled by oral morphine. I have the regular drugs he is taking be control anxiety but the option to add another dose of one of the drugs is a big help. Hospice is great!!
Thankyou Nurse Julie! Also my grandson bought your book "Nothing To Fear" 2 times: one for him and one for me online! I love it. Hope you get another book going in the future. 👍🙏 My grandson wants to learn what to expect because l have the Big CA and wants to be prepared for whatever comes up in the future. Also he watches your videos.
Thank you Julie. Your education and advice is so essential and accurate. God Bless you and all hospice nurses.
My late mother had dementia. She couldn't tell us what hurt, but was clutching her left side. The hospice nurse and the hospice doctor (over the phone) decided it was Diverticulitis. Well......enter Morphine....she couldn't eat and slept all around the clock. Yes her sphincter relaxed. Long story short, she didn't have diverticulitis. She had fallen (known; but she got up), and had cracked all of her ribs on her left side. Enter MORE Morphine. She was dead within days. I have issues with the hospice nurse, the hospice doctor, and my own sister who is herself a retired LPN. She never had Diverticulitis. She had broken ribs, and she died in agony. Until of course the Morphine made her comatose.
Thank you for these videos. I've been through this twice with both of my parents. Dying seems to be harder on the families and survivors; than it is for the person who is leaving us. I am in complete awe of hospice caregivers. You are all amazing.
You are a true professional. Thank you for explaining end of life to us.
What I'm afraid of, is I am sensitive to Glycol and most medications use Glycol. I have different responses, from hives, to feelings of worms under my skin, to extreme migraines, to nerve agitation. I've told my kids to just put me out, but they refuse because then I could not talk to them. I said, "it's not about you, it's about me". They just are so selfish about it.
I have been watching you for a couple of months now. You have helped me understand more about what happens. My Dad passed yesterday and you came to mind I was wishing you were with me but I knew I had this. He passed peacefully with me and mom. We talked to him until it happened and after. Thank you for being you
Less than a month ago, my brother was diagnosed with an agressive leukemia. The Drs gave him 2 weeks. He signed papers to have himself put to sleep, so he did not have to suffer as much. Its been 3 weeks hes been in hospice now, and hes in and out and complaining they are keeping him alive against his will. I think hes ready to go most days, but my dad wont let him. I wish more than anything i could go and see my brother, but i cant afford to. My dad wont even put the phone to his ear so i can tell him i love him one last time, hes worried i will cry and upset my brother. I have told him i will not, i will be trong i just want my brother to hear it from me. We had not spoke much the past few years, and its one of my biggest regrets. Do not forget to tell those you love what they mean, before its too late.
My grandfather dying of lung and throat cancer in 1973 was horrendous for me to see at 8 years old, no hospice died at home, he died in terrible pain black everything from his mouth ears, nose 😢😢😢😢 it was God awful
Thank you,I keep asking my palliative care team about what I might experience when my husband passes. He is concerned about his bodily fluids upon death. Thank you for being clear, concise and honest about this subject.
Ok this just made me scared and sick!! I think the only thing that will make me worry is unable to breathe! I appreciate you very much Julie… but this is…. 😔😢
That's my fear, too. 😥
@@Sherry-hj6kuSame here with me
I think that is everyone’s fear. But they are smart nurses and can and will help
Same with myself…..fear of unable to breathe
@@richcarnaggio1525Yes! I agree with you!
Julie, Honestly, I’m not sure how your YT feed popped up on my YT interests listing, but I’m now a fan of yours. I have casually been reviewing your educational briefings and realizing, now, my personal pros/cons of hospice care a few years back when I said goodbye to my dad. Currently, I am grateful to you in helping prepare me for the future loss of my family/friends, including my own move into the eternal spiritual world. One question for you, when my day comes, how do I get you to be my hospice nurse?! Keep up the good work my friend. -Jim
Thank you for what you do. I think most people push thinking of dying waay back in the recesses of our mind. You are bringing this locked and (never discussed) issue out in cohesive easy to understand.You have educated me!
This video was news to me. There is so much about life and death our doctors don’t tell us. Thankful for you.
12 hrs to get a dying person out of pain is cruel. Thankfully my father's hospice prescribed more frequent doses at the end of life.
Julie, you're so amazing with all the info you give out. I wish I had known about your channel when my mom was in end of life hospice.
Hi Nurse Julie,
Thank you for your education of the dying process. As a nurse myself I appreciate the physiology as I am a L&D retired nurse. Very different. I have followed you for a while and really appreciate what you do.
Currently, in the last 6 months, I've had 2 family members on hospice. One recently passed away from ALS, and the other is a friend of my son age 29. She was just sent home on hospice.
I pray 🙏 is all I can do.
Julie I’ve been learning from you for a year now. THIS IS THE BEST OF THE BEST LESSON …so far
You keep making me feel at peace with everything that has to do with the “end of life” processes. Thank you SO much for your guidance.
I so wish I found you when I was working as a Hospice Nurse. I had never done Hospice work in my nursing career until the last 4 yrs. I always felt a calling to it and loved it. My only regret is that I did not know how to explain to pts family's all that you teach and how you explain it. I knew all of what happens at end of life and could make sure my pts were cared for BUT not always how to calm families. 😢
You are an amazing person Julie.
You’ve helped ease my worries in ways I cannot explain. I’m the type of person that researches the buhjeezus out of everything. I have an aversion to not being prepared for the inevitable. The information you share will make me a better caregiver for my mother when that time comes. I don’t want my lack of knowledge to make that final experience for my mother one filled with anxiety or fear. I’m a pretty high strung, hyper observant individual and my anxiety is infectious.
So, thank you for sharing the knowledge with us.
I so wish you would have been my mom's nurse at the end of her life 😢 Even though she had nurses around, I was the only one who really cared about and for her. They were not even gentle or considerate when they were showering her. Before she passed away, she suddenly started bleeding, from internal bleeding, I guess (she had had cancer) and when I called in a panic the doctor, he said I should not worry and that she does not need to be cleaned and changed...It was the most cruel thing 💔😢
Thank you for your videos about hospice/end of life situations. My mom had to go to hospice because of terminal cancer. The hospice workers were our God-sent angels in helping with her comfort, and also keeping us informed about what was happening to her and the reasons for what they needed to do - and what we needed to do to help the transition be smooth as well. These people (which I will refer to as "terminal person-family advocates is a better description) are special people like yourself. May God bless you and the people especially at Treasure Coast Hospice for helping my mom and family through this really, REALLY sad event.
There is no reason to allow someone who is dying to suffer from pain. There are medications to make terminally ill patients comfortable and not suffer. The suffering and pain are with the family who is watching their loved one pass.
Well done, I have been a nurse for 30 years. I remember my first death, there was a lot of fluids, school did not prepare me for this. Appreciate that you continue to educate everyone, it can be scary.
Wish I had discovered your videos three years ago. Thank you for sharing
Thank you Julie and those that have shared their videos for educational purposes. The thing that bothers me the most is why we even have to let people get to these stages of death. Most of us certainly wouldn't let one of our beloved pets get to this point before we compassionately euthanize them. Most of the US does not allow for this in humans. IMHO there should be a box a person can check that allows for euthanasia on whatever form they use for their advance directives. Julie, you say that they are not suffering when they are actively dying. I think by the time they've reached the hospice stage, many people have suffered greatly. A human being should have the choice of Humane euthanasia. They shoot horses don't they?
Hi Julie it is very sad when we lose someone we love and really care about. I see it more clearly now. Thank you Julie.
Julie can patients ask for continuous sedation at end of life process so they can just pass peacefully and have the most comfort and less stress
Julie I just died in your arms tonight it must’ve been something you said !!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks.
That just explained my Dad's end. I just wish that someone there had told me at the time.
Thank you Nurse Julie.
Thank you for your videos. 🙏
I’ve seen deaths both peaceful and painful. It is important to let people know there are both kinds of passing. Thanks for every video you show us.
At one point in my life I was a hospice team director. Once in awhile I would run into pts with terminal fevers. This was always distressing for families. I've seen people work their heart out to get the temp down and feel defeated when they just can't. Maybe you might do a video on this.
Youre the best!......you should open your own Hospitable Hospice.......the "conscious dying" movement is blowing up, and much needed.....i'll help!.....
Dear Julie! My mother died two hours ago while I was watching your video. I want to thank you very much for all the help you provided through your videos. I could understand the dieing process much better and knew this was our last visit this afternoon in her retirement home. In two weeks she would have turned 95. In Germany we have no permission to keep the urn at home or spread the ashes. But I'm going to find a way how her ashes can return to the place where she was born.
I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.
@@nancylang4294 thank you
Thank you so much, Nurse Julie 🙏🏼💖
Listening to videos of NDEs, Hospice, VSED etc. gives distraction and comfort.
Every time you say "hospice company" I'm surprised. In Australia hospices are generally run via public hospitals on a community basis and funded by the State or the Federal Government. They have beds where family can come and stay with the patient, and facilities for babies and children. Families do make donations when they can afford it. Lots of people are trained as volunteers. Everyone I've known who has had involvement finds it life changing and frequently go on to fund raise or train as a volunteer or sit on the board. I'd just never thought of a company for hospices. I'm sure you all do a great job, just remarking on something that's a bit different to my experience. These videos are really interesting, thank you.
Thank you nurse Julie.I really enjoy the information that put out.👍🏼👊🏽😎🧡💛🤔
Love your channel Julie great job and info
Sadly Gabapentin is considered a narcotic now. I'm on it for nerve pain. I have RSD/CRPS.
Thank you so much for all your time and energy, both in what you do off and on You-tube 🙏🏻❤️.
Thank you for your honesty!
I will be fine with it however which way my time ends, thank you Julie!
Hey thank you for sharing with us ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I know this is a different topic than that of this video but still along the same end of life subject.
I will try to keep this as short, clear and simple as possible.
I was in ICU, in a coma for around 10 weeks suffering from Sepsis, total organ failure inc kidneys and liver, and Encephalitis.
I appeared to be in pain so I was pumped full or morphine, which I think helped give me delusions and THE most awful night mares/nigh terrors, and of which I still suffer from eight years later!
The Specialists told my husband I had about 2/4 hours to survive so Life Support was "turned off" and ALL medical intervention was stopped, which left me with oxygen starvation to my brain so I then suffered from Hypoxia.
The hypoxia still effects me to this day - my memory is SHOT, especially short term. I am not sure if this usually effects short term memory over that of long term memory but it is extremely frustrating as I am aware of it 😞 It has had a very negative effect on my concentration and (even now I am struggling to think of the word of it) right, got it !! CONFIDENCE. I rarely leave my house any more and need my husband with me when in a group of people to help nudge me along if talking 😞
Writing is easier and probably why I write such long posts (which must get on people nerves), but this is now my new way of "socialising".
I said I would keep this short but have gone right off track - this is what my (lacking/ qwkward concentration does for me).
Anyway, once all intervention was stopped I remaine as I was for a couple of days and then I started dribbling a little urine and very slowly came too.
All whilst my husband and three sons who were 11,11 and 14 at the time, stayed by my side and witnessed all my near misses and ups and downs. I have always said I feel I had the easy part of this journey and my husband and sons suffered tohe real horror and Hell of it all.
I am full of guilt over this and was wondering if there is anyone else who has gone through this and what they did to help themsleves or any problems their husbandor children suffered from?
I also wondered if lovely Nurse Jackie, or any other ICU nurses have come across this and if there is any advice out there?
I can only thank anyone in advance for any pieces of help/advice they may post or leave here.
Many , many thanks 🙂
Love and Best Wishes from the UK xx and aplogies for the longish post !! x
❤. I use God math to make informed decisions as I experienced loss of memory from the dosing I was given to calm my terminal agitation after I was diagnosed of Schizophrenia. If you notice from my sentence, I have issues with punctuation. For my kids and husband, I have to study and observe and contrast to correct the uninformed decisions I made before I learnt about God Math. I hope you understand my unpunctuated write up. 😂. Above all, I love living
Or so do I feel
Thanks!
I still don’t understand why caregivers are so against giving narcotics to a dying patient when they are obviously in pain. Never have understood this.
Excellent information!
Ever had a paranomal encounter? Like when a patient passed, did you feel their presence?
I have been a hospice nurse for many years now! Yes! I experienced quite a few paranormal encounters when my patients die! Even have sensed their presence after they have passed!
This is a common experience in most cases! Actually I am surprised when these experiences do not happen with the individuals who die in my presence!
Yes. When my dad passed away from cancer in his bed at home the funeral home took him away. Later that night we were all seated in the kitchen eating supper when we all heard the bedside bell ring that we had for my dad to use if he needed us. The strange thing is the dog also heard it perked up her ears and ran into the bedroom ahead of us as we followed the dog. Of course there was no one there and nothing to see and the bell was in it's place on the nightstand.
@@sandradankowski6120Thank you for sharing your experience with us! I appreciate it!
Julie addresses this in another video and also I think in her book. If you read the comments in that video a lot of people share their experiences with the Paranormal. Pretty interesting
My family members who have passed play with electricity. Flickering lights, fans turning on with zero explanation. The flickering lights occur on special dates like birthdays or anniversaries. It has happened weeks, months, even many years later. After my dad passed, that evening we were sitting in the family room and heard something fall down the nearby basement stairs. One of my dad’s tobacco cans (he smoked a pipe) fell off a shelf. Never happened before!
My brother had a “hospital smell” wafting through his bedroom at the exact time my grandmother died. She was in the hospital but her death was unexpected. Too many stories to tell here!
if someone is terminally I'll and they are aware or family is aware...Why can't they go when THEY want to? I wouldn't want to suffer or my family. It's just a money maker to stay alive being terminally ill😢😢
I see this all the time as a caregiver. The families don’t want to hear it. It’s heartbreaking. Why let your loved one suffer?
Calif passed a law a few years ago, Death with Dignity or similar. It allows the patient to choose their exit time. You must meet requirements but then the dr can assist with meds. Oregon or Wash has a similar law.
@@debramagliano6672 Julie has done e video about this
Thank You 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
You are a gift! You don’t “have” a gift, you ARE a gift. My chronological age fully qualifies me as “old” but I still have all my original parts which still work. But the idea of “terminal agitation” resonates with me. Is there a med that works better than others for that? I know you mentioned several, but other than general sedation? (cont’d)
Thanks Julie
My very best friend was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. It was hard to help her, she lived 10,000 miles away, but I became her go to person whenever she was down, or angry, or sobbing, and I gave her reasons to keep fighting. Her family and I worked for 4 years to give her the best life possible, but in the end, with our last phone call I first made her laugh hysterically (I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair), then said something I had never said, nor thought I could say. I said, "Goodbye Mo, see you the next time around". She needed me to say it was OK, that she had fought the good fight, and it was time to let go and meet Jesus. She passed two days later, with her family around her, peacefully in her bed. I miss her so much, I'm crying as I am typing this, that was 19 years ago. I will see her again..........
When my father was dying from Covid, he wanted me to wring water from a washcloth over his head. He had no fever. By the time he passed, he was soaked. Have you ever had a patient go through the same thing?
12 hours? It took our hospice a week to get my mother's pain under control. She had agitation until the day she died 5 days after her pain was controlled.
Same for my poor aunt. She died in agonizing pain from colorectal cancer. Very hard to see her suffer that kind of torment. Death is brutal for some patients. Not everyone gets a clean, smooth ending. 😢
you do such a great job
My father’s death was messy. He was screaming in pain on a video call because he was in the Covid-19 isolation facility and he was very scared to die alone because we couldn’t be there next to his side. He went into a shock and died. 😢😢😢
@@guardianforceps how sad and traumatic that was for you and your family. I hope Julie's videos are s help and a blessing for you as you continue to grieve and process his tragic death. I'm so sorry.
@@sandradankowski6120 Thank you very much 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you sonmuch for your every word
I'm not going to sugar coat this. I've watched 3 loved ones leave this world in hospice, only one got the full respect and care every being deserves.
1563 days since my partner, my BFF passed. My grieving just isn't letting up😢
thank you for all your teachings,