This is TED talk material. I have not found anyone else on TH-cam who has not only wanted to, but also been so well able, to articulate what you do about makeup, shame, fantasy, and the experience of being a woman as a whole. I have struggled with the same things as you have around makeup and spending and have spent a lot of time thinking about the root causes, as you have. As soon as I started watching you I was like "She's my people." haha. Thanks so much for taking the time to create these videos and share your thoughts. It feels so good to be able to watch someone and be like "yes. yes. yes!!!" You've helped my meandering thoughts on this topic solidify and it's inspired me to take similar actions as you have in regard to spending less and really thinking about the why.
All of your content is so impressive. Thank you. When I was 27 in 2015, I survived a brain aneurysm rupture. I shaved my head and lost my identity as the smartest kid in the room. I clutched to makeup to try and fix the external deformity, but it was really to soothe the loss I felt inside. None of my family understands. Thank you for your words. They made me feel understood for the first time in 5 years 💜
I got really into buying makeup in 2015 at the age of 25 when I had been diagnosed with an AVM and aneurism. The meds had made me begin to gain weight and feel sick. Makeup helped me feel more like my old self and feel like I was put together and worthy.
I read about a study that showed women who wear “discernible amounts of makeup” at work are perceived to be more competent. That’s literally why I started wearing makeup.
I've heard that too. When I reached a certain management stage at work I started wearing more makeup and then realized....fuck it? Now I only wear it if I feel like it, or have an important meeting. Or if I'm having a major breakout (though sometimes trying to cover it just makes it more noticable, you know?)
I've read about that, too! If I remember correctly, the study got really specific with different work scenarios, such as women who wear makeup were perceived to be on time for work more, complete their tasks, be easier to work with, etc. SO CRAZY!!!
Jep, wear too little and you're slobby. Wear too much and you're vain. Wear and foundation, mascara and lipstick and you're competent. Like what? 🤦♀️ Women really are judged by how they look before anything else 😤
Man I’ve been watching you since pretty close to the beginning and I think you produce the most thought provoking content within the beauty space. Not only do these videos require us to question the community as a whole but it also asks us to look within ourselves. Well done Hannah 👏🏽👏🏽 Believe me I will find away to write about this phenomenon in one of my upcoming sociology classes in the fall semester
This reminds me of what I always say about people buying lottery tickets. You’re not actually buying a very small chance a prize. You’re buying a fantasy of becoming a millionaire and thinking about what you’d do with the money, even if they know it’s not likely to win the lottery.
I think along with the fantasy of youth is the related, the fantasy of health, or even, the fantasy of a kind of immortality. My first exposure to this growing up was that on days I covered up my naturally dark circles, people would comment about how healthy, how “awake” I looked. Then when I didn’t wear concealer, people would ask if I was feeling ok. 😳 Now as someone with fibromyalgia, I use makeup as one...a way to promote my “healthy identity” in the public space, and two...as a way to convince myself that maybe I was a little less tired than I feel. I think this fantasy has become peculiarly resonant of late...we are suddenly confronted with our mortality in a new, and frightening way. At the same time, we have lost our “performative” public spaces where makeup plays its social role. For me makeup has become both less important (as I wear it less frequently) and more important, because the days I do wear it give me great artistic pleasure. A lot of things to roll around in our heads. Thank you for this video! I am going to try to notice my makeup fantasies more this week.
Can you please explain what you mean by the performative public spaces where makeup plays a social role, because this sounds really interesting! Have we lost it generally or right now temporarily because of covid?
I relate to this. A slightly different but related comment: sometimes I don’t want to wear makeup but it’s less work to apply makeup than to deal with negative comments about whether I am “ok” because I haven’t covered my dark circles or neurofibromatosis and therefore I “look sick” even though these conditions are benign (for me! These are not benign for everyone!) and are not related to whether I am tired, sick, healthy, or happy. I get exhausted from comments asking if I am tired :/
Omg yes, makeup and chronic illness is a whole other can of worms. I always debate with myself if I should wear makeup to the doctor's office, like if I should "show like I'm making an effort", or if I should avoid "looking too healthy and happy to be complaining of so much chronic pain". I can't win. 😐
Naomi and Corvin I have done the exact same calculation about the Dr’s office. Almost every time I go. One time I went without makeup and the Dr wanted to test me for anemia. 😳 I usually opt for a lightly made up face, which in my case is concealer, mascara and blush. The dr can see my pallor still, but they aren’t worried I’m a zombie. Sending good vibes yo you! Hope you are feeling well.
Natalie McDonald I understand completely. I started wearing concealer and mascara. That way I don’t scare anybody and no one comments on my health. 😘❤️
I relate to the idea that we don’t truly know ourself without having seen ourselves move and act around people, as well as how we sound talking or singing. And that our appearance is not as important as our personalities and mannerisms or what we say and how we say it. We don’t usually remember how someone looked in detail years after seeing them but we do remember how they were or what they did. This should tell us to not worry so much about appearances but that’s not how we are programmed. Love your content and the different subjects you create a discussion about! 🌸🌺💐
Hannah Louise Poston I think your hair looks so cute! I didn’t even notice the bump until you pointed it out, it’s a cute look for switching things up!
Someone in my instagram network recently remarked that they felt that putting on makeup was 'glamour magick' and I really can't overstate how much I identified with and loved that concept, despite it perhaps indulging heavily in that projected fantasy self. When I smear a very rich, dimensional eyeshadow over my eyelids, or when I press a lip product into my lips that stings like little bees, I cant help but feel like there is some credence to that magic claim. Maybe this experience is particular to me, but as someone who has always struggled to identify with her face in the mirror, the tactile meditation of examining my cheekbones, and then smearing a particularly lively cream blush onto them, helps me to feel connected with my body and (like you mentioned) with my femininity. I really like the idea of makeup (and fashion choice) as domestic ritual, in the same way that brewing the perfect coffee / tea, or cooking the perfect meal, or folding the linens in a particularly pleasing way might be. Thank you for another lovely & thought provoking video! 🖤🖤🖤
You are brilliant ! I thank you for being the antidote to our unhealthy relationship to beauty as women. And thank you for giving language to this important topic for so many of us. I wish I could be as eloquent as you. Please just know that you are an absolute breath of fresh air with your insight! I especially appreciate your explanation of the notion of the fantasy of natural beauty, the tension between having to look great but being shamed for trying. I am not sure what the answer is. However, after my 50 years I find that getting my inside right makes me far more comfortable with the outside. And that means looking however I want when I want, no matter what others opinions are. It's the gift of growing older.
Since I started watching your channel, it has made me smarter, and more discerning about my make-up and why I'm buying it - thank you for turning these thoughts and anxieties into tangible ideas that I can grasp for myself. For years I've been mulling over this idea of how make-up makes me into the "ideal woman," and how much is "too much" or "too little" - it's so convoluted! Let's all live our best make-up filled or free lives!
So true!!! Hannah, you are not someone who makes people buy x or y, but makes me and many more think about why we want to buy things. Your videos stir my thoughts every time 😃
Please don't underestimate how much your marvelous vocabulary is also part of your identity too :) Your lilting voice and fulsome phrases linger longer than your lashes ever will! I think that one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is "What will indulging in THIS particular fantasy actually do TO and FOR me?" Artificial confidence, Excellent! Make me feel rich for the 20 minutes when I buy it, maybe not so great.
One of the things I think a lot of people relate to (and is the basis of Parti Starr's new marketing) which fits into several of these has to do with size inclusion, not of influencers or advertising, but the fact I can walk into a makeup store and while some products might not be suited for my personal coloration, ALL 'fit' me. When you are plus sized, there are very few stores you can just walk into and feel that way, especially if you are with friends of different sizes. To not be looked up and down by a clerk and know from their face that nothing in there is going to fit me, that trendy color combos and products are only limited by the price ranges they are offered and and what you can afford and not by what size the brand goes up to (assume it will even fit my body right in my size anyway), not to be sent to the corner in back with the handful of frumpy and basic colors. That I can talk with people of all sizes, genders, and presentations about it and have a shared experience. It's a fantasy where my body isn't the negative center piece of how I present myself- I get plenty of comments on how 'well' I dress my body implying that it's remarkable that I can look good in clothes in comparison to what is socially expected, but any comments about my makeup are in relation to their own skills and interests in it.
Hannah, I don't think I have ever said this but: I LOVE YOU. your thoughts, your person, everything that goes on in that wonderful brain of yours and your ability to share that with others. You held my attention the ENTIRE time you spoke and I just feel so lucky that this platform allowed me to hear and learn from you, such a compassionate and thoughtful human. A true champion of femininity and autonomy! You give me much thought to chew on tonight
Hannah Louise Poston and every time you reply to my comments I do too! (I’ve recently changed channels to protect my privacy now that I make content) but you have irrevocably changed my life since posting content three years ago. In fact, I attribute much of my adult conscience (esp in the beauty space and in being a woman doing her work in the world) to you and that mind of yours! Thank you again for all you do ❤️
There's also the idea of the 'fantasy self' that has a different life/does different things than you actually do. Buying lots of glamorous makeup and ball gowns as if you're someone who goes to parties and the theatre several times a week... when the reality is that you work in a very non-glamorous job, and in fact go out to a fancy party or the theatre two or three times a year. Speaking from experience. 🙈
How prescient this video is! I realized just yesterday that when I buy eyeshadow or am lusting after eyeshadow, it’s not the thing I want but rather the idea or the fantasy of the thing. Most of the other categories of my makeup collection I don’t have a problem keeping down to a couple of products, but my eyeshadow collection has seriously spiraled out of control over the last two years. And I hardly even wear it! About a month ago I finally admitted to myself that with my hooded eyes, there’s not even much point in elaborate daily eye looks anyway. I realized that I am buying the idea/fantasy that I am the kind of person that (a) wears eyeshadow regularly, (b) is creative with eyeshadow, hence going on wild goose chases after certain colors, (c) want to be seen as the kind of person who is artistic and adventurous. But I’m not! I’m an academic, and any time I take the time to apply eyeshadow I feel guilty that I’m not reading because my brain assimilates the most information in the morning. I only ever put eyeshadow on when I go out on the weekends. Even if I do become that fantasy self that wears colorful eyeshadow often, I have so much eyeshadow that I could scarcely need more for years. However, I have also noticed that I tend to buy the most makeup when I am stressed, which is typically around finals. Perhaps this is the tension between the reality of my life and my fantasy self manifesting. I indulge in my fantasy when I am stressed about reality, and imagining myself to be the kind of person with fewer time commitments and more artistic creativity. Buying eyeshadow is the real escape for me, not even wearing it. It’s the idea of the thing and the idea of who I am that motivates my purchases. Thank you for this video, Hannah. It helped me connect the dots.
Yes, the fantasy of age! At 46, I finally stopped coloring my hair. It’s been 5 months since I last colored my hair. I hated doing it but kept doing it so that I would look younger. What finally changed my perspective was the verse Proverbs 16:3 Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained by a righteous life. Why hide my age when I’ve been blessed to live long enough for my hair to lose its pigment? Makeup, on the other hand is a soothing process to me which I still enjoy. I’m much more basic now but I still enjoy playing with the powders and creams.
I love when fantasy becomes reality - I want to be the kind of person who wears black glitter eyeshadow to parties, I buy black glitter, I wear it to a party, I AM the kind of person who wears black glitter eyeshadow to parties! mAGiC
The fantasy of temporary transformation is a large aspect within the mermaid community of which I participate; as well as cosplay. Give anyone the opportunity to play with makeup and tell them to paint upon their face their persecption of what a mermaid/merman/siren/nagini is and you will see what that transformation means to them. I see an explosion of happiness, confidence, happiness, and power the more they allow themselves to inhabit this mythic version of a being they are allowing themselves to be in that moment. Personally I find my expression of my "mersona" taking shape in the expression of angles, spots, minimal colour, all base and defined face shape; a sharp powerfulness appears. Whereas someone elses mersona takes shape in riotous colour, glitter brows, scale faces, blue and green lips; a playfulness appears. It is beautiful and amazing considering the makeup I put on when I desire to wear what I want on my face with no limitations, I too become colorful and playful. Cosplay is another way i utilize transformation to showcase my masculine parts of my being. Changing my face shape, binding my chest, shaping my body with clothing, hair and makeup with the knowledge from my feminine self in order to bring forth and revel in my masculine self.
Watching this video was oddly emotional because it summed up so much that I've never been able to fully articulate myself. This is *prime* HLP content. Thought provoking, applicable, relatable, and introspective. Listening to all the points you've made here, I'm dumfounded by how you've managed to fully and accurately depict every personal pondering and internal conflict I've had with makeup myself. My initial reaction to this makeup discussion (not so much a response, as that requires more thought than my sleepy brain can conjure), is: What happens to all these points when makeup fails us? How do we feel when our mascara smudges and migrates, or our foundation cracks around our mouths, or we get lipstick on our teeth. The feeling of defeat and, almost sneakily, shame that overcomes us with feeling as if we've done something wrong; shattering the illusion of perfection and status that we've, now emphasized by our tangible mishap, purposefully *created*. Excellent video, as per usual. This is one to watch again and again. You hear and learn more every time.
Such an interesting point! To me this is where shame and capitalism intersects. If we couldn't make that foundation look flawless and perfect the whole day, it's probably us who are not good enough at makeup application, because it looks like everyone else can make it work (i.e. everyone *online* aka not reality). Maybe buying a new foundation brush will help us achieve the desired/promised effect. Maybe another foundation. Maybe another primer. Or setting powder. Just this perpetual motion machine of capitalism fueled by our disappointments when we fall short of achieving the promised/advertised perfection we were trying to buy.
Your idea about the fantasy of desirability really hit home for me... the pressure of the male gaze is so strong! I was also thinking about extending this to the fantasy of agelessness... femme presenting people in media images seem to not be “allowed” to age with wrinkles, or else they will be seen as gross or ugly. Yet somehow, male presenting people seem “dignified” as they age. The patriarchy is so deeply ingrained in us, that it’s so hard to get out of this mindset!
I like makeup because it’s a aspect of myself that I can change everyday. Like I can’t have a new wardrobe and new shoes to match my mood everyday but I can switch from neutral soft glam to red eyeshadow and black lipstick and completely change how people see me.
Yes! I gained a bit of weight after going on a new medication a few years ago, and realized that even though I didn't fit into some of the beautiful, curated, vintage outfits anymore didn't mean I couldn't still wear a beautiful face of makeup or have fun hair
Wow, I loved this video and the last one so much!! This feels related to the way American culture heavily promotes the fantasy of self-optimization. This idea that if we're just "productive" enough, fit enough, thin enough, if we have no zits, if we make enough money - whatever, then you can become perfect. This idea that there's got to be some kind of spiritual contentment at the end of the long road of self-optimization, a road which of course involves buying lots of products. And the message that if you haven't reached that contentment yet, it's because you haven't properly self-optimized. I'm realizing more and more that having a robust sense of self-esteem and contentment with your own imperfection, especially if you're a woman, is a direct threat to systems of power.
Oh girl. Yeah. I am generally nonplussed by discussion of 'fantasy self" discussions on other channels, and that's mostly because I don't believe the other channels really get at the truth of it. I grew up showing dogs across the country on a high level (like Jane Lynch in Best in Show) and was in part raised by drag queens and gay men and people who used fantasy for performance in life and showing animals (my own little subculture). And so fantasy self in terms of makeup purchasing has never been a problem to me. I've also spent a lot of time in other subcultures where makeup creates a fantasy version of self that one engages in from time to time. I'm 43 and my makeup consciousness came from Vogue and the grunge supermodels in 1992 and not instagram and youtube, which I think matters in terms of understanding that its a look and not reality. Linda Evangelista is gorgeous, but she clearly did not wake up like this, in Patrick Demarchelier photos in tartan and dirty Berlin black and white. But the fantasy of wealth. That's the dangerous one and the one i feel like most people don't speak about or get into with more superficial discussions of fantasy life. And Lauren talked about this in her last video and some previous videos (all the amens Lauren)., I can say, that at times when I have been unable to buy truly and stupidly expensive designer fashion because of my size, because at that point I was plus size and couldn't fit into lululemon (worst corporate ethics of life, but I still want to wear it) or Kate Spade or Prada or fill in the blank, I was more inclined to buy more expensive makeup because it was expensive and not because it was good. Not because I WOULD buy a $400 dress or a $1,000 coat, but because I literally could NOT. And forget Sephora, I shopped at Saks and MAYBE Nordstrom. The degree to which my body image and how I felt I looked in what I could buy, what a bunch of designers decided I was "allowed" to buy because of my size, affected the makeup I bought and the amount I spent was insane. And since I have been able to wear and buy more designer brands, its not that I do very much (and part of why I appreciate the SO FASHION of rental services), but the reality that I am now "allowed" to buy that Michael Kors dress on my Nordstrom wishlist or the Zac Posen line at Brooks Brothers (I die), affects what I see as value. So yes, Chanel makes some great products. So does Sisley. Also Tom Ford. But I don't need to only buy those brands and compulsively so to "supplement" my wardrobe and make myself feel as though I am feeling and projecting success. I can be content with one pair of red and one pair of black designer shoes and wear them for years (and into the ground), ditto for all the fashion. And so my makeup choices have calmed. I know Pat and Natasha are luxury, but its not the same thing as buying the ENTIRE spring line of Chanel/Dior/YSL/Sisley makeup at Saks. Circling back so this makes something approaching a coherent point, since the very beginning on your channel, you've discussed that your purchases had a component of the fantasy of wealth (your VIB rouge during my no buy year video nails this). And that's what I've appreciated the most, because I think other discussions of "fantasy self" can either be over generalizations or can miss why the fantasy self is a positive and often gloss over what is personally dangerous to me. Plenty of channels get it right too, but the notion of "fantasy self" is not inherently bad or wasteful or destructive. It's a question of whether in that morass, you, the consumer, have a specific trigger or pain point, not whether maybe you have a couple of glitters or cake liners, or red lipsticks for your dominatrix vibes that maybe you won't completely use up. Because I'm completely fine indulging in my Russian spy or German dominatrix looks to go to Whole Foods on Saturday. I am not fine dropping thousands of dollars at Saks on makeup because I cannot fit into their luxury fashion and I want to look as successful as I am (or worse, want to feel). (side props to Lauren for hitting this point a few times as well).
The idea of the “fantasy self” is one of my favorite things that I have learned/found language for from your channel! Definitely has fueled my make up buying habits in the past. And I’m fascinated now by wondering what actions/behaviors define me to other people. Loved this discussion!
absolutely agree with this! it's amazing how well you can catch yourself in certain behaviours and notice them much more sharply once you "have a name for it".
This could be a series! Even if it's not going to be I'm here for talking about makeup and philosophy. HERE. FOR. IT. EDIT: Some thoughts after watching. At the end you touched on "the fantasy of identity projection" which is the main reason I love makeup. When I was younger I dabbled, but I never really fell in love with makeup until my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 (she's okay now, living her best life cancer free!). But in the midst of chemotherapy, makeup helped her appear as if she was healthy. She never wanted to be "a cancer patient," she wanted people to see *her*. I then realized that makeup can be very powerful and began to use it to change others' perception of me. Specifically, I used it to make myself look more mature and older as in my early 20's I owned a small business and I wanted people to take me seriously since I have always looked younger than I am (a two-edged sword). I am also an artist so I love that aspect of it as well.
I really wrestle with how much of my makeup love/makeup buying habits is me fufilling an idea of myself that is healthy (a person who has a good relationship with taking care of herself and also has a great time playing with concepts of fashion) or an idea of myself that is unhealthy (a woman that is attempting to adhere to norms that I havent thought critically about and could be based in misogyny and white beauty standards) its so hard to tow that line. Especially when the tools or products are so expensive!!
oh man, this is such a great topic! i think about this stuff a lot. i took a marketing class back in the day and i have often sort of reverse engineered a marketing message to bring myself back to reality. so, if a product is clearly trying to sell me X fantasy, i can check myself if that is why i'm buying it. what i found really interesting, in my 10+ years of observing the beauty community on youtube like some kind of sociologist/anthropologist, is the rise of people amassing previously unthinkable amounts of makeup (and then skincare) fueled by the fantasy of abundance that then turned into the fantasy of minimalism and the perfectly curated collection. when all this excessive consumption was happening i really wondered how it would end, but just like so many things in life, it turns out to be a waveform: it builds up and then it comes down. and i bet once our world feels more settled again there will be another uptick in excessive consumption.
I think the fantasy of “natural” make up has gripped me the most in the past 6 months or so. The idea that I woke up this way has a strong pull on me and I think health has also played a roll. However last year it was way more the fantasy of wealth that took over in regards to makeup. Strangely enough when I got better with finances my fantasy with makeup shifted. Maybe when I get to a spot where I feel more healthy my relationship with makeup and the fantasies that surround it will also change.
I loved this ! I’m an image consultant and always teach my clients that we are a book the most important part is the inside but the reason they hire me is to show who they are in a coherent way so that the cover of the books matched their best real self and their goals and dreams, so that this gives them the opportunity so that when they are on the shelf people will see the cover and get a glimpse of their wonderful inside content. I adored this video I’m actually giving a masterclass today about this to women around the world that want to work on their image. I love you Hannah you are a great book with a beautiful matching cover ❤️
As a type A. Oh fantasy. Oh how I wish I was perfect. Maybe not even in my physical appearance. How I interact with the world and my family. That my home would be tidy, minimal. That I would have great relationships with my kids. That my relationship with husband was the bomb (though it’s pretty close a lot of days). Oh how I fantasize about not being plagued with Chronic fatigue and getting all the things done. The workout. The meals, the fun...it goes way beyond makeup. So much deeper than makeup. I put makeup on because it looks like I did something. Anything.
Your content is so good. It's so nice to hear your opinion about this, because selling a fantasy is such a huge part of this community... and it's very important to know that sometimes said fantasy may not be what you actually want/need for your life. What you said about how the makeup of big/popular youtubers look in real life vs. in photos really resonates with me, because I used to think that I needed to wear full glam every single day to look pretty and healthy, but at the end the day, I'd looked at myself in the mirror and I hated how cakey, crusty and awful my face looked with that much makeup. Now I've come to terms that I don't need to wear so much stuff on my face because it doesn't look in real life... and it's even kind of nice to let my hyperpigmentation marks free, so I don't wear foundation. I think you gave me the idea when you mentioned that you usually don't wear foundation except for the photoshoots for your clothing store. It's difficult to see through the fantasy, but content like yours and many other youtubers are making it easier to watch and love beauty content from a more realistic and practical way.
I am so happy you mentioned that it doesn't matter how we look but how we act. I realized this quite a long time ago, but it always helps to hear it again.
This video speaks to me so much. You bring up so many things that I’ve learned to be true about my own relationship with makeup and beauty. Your content runs deep, but that’s what makes it so unique and valuable.
This resonates with me so much. You're articulating and connecting thoughts that I've had in the back of my head- things that motivated me to buy products, fantasies I entertain knowing they're not real deep down.
I found this so interesting and these sorts of analyses are why I keep coming back to your channel despite rarely wearing or buying makeup myself. I really think this is useful for anyone to hear regardless of age, gender, mindset etc as it is so applicable to everything.
cutting myself off from unnecessary advertising is what helped my self image so much!! not being super involved in beauty instagram, no longer reading magazines targeted to women, getting youtube premium so i’m not subjected to needless ads, and taking it upon myself to purposefully NOT edit my photos or using filters. and when i do my makeup, i do still have some element of flawlessness in mind. but doing these things has helped significantly with not constantly chasing perfect. just a tailored, artistic, expressive version of myself
Love all of this. I resonate with the contradictions within different aspects of fantasy, especially with wanting a natural look, also covering my acne scars, and then going full glam for a party. I agree that recognizing the fantasy is really important to putting having/using/buying makeup into perspective. I feel like there's a strong connection between fantasy and anticipation connected to shopping behaviors, especially frequent shopping where you're looking for that next hit of dopamine.
12:00 You really hit the nail on the head talking about how expensive luxury makeup is more affordable than other luxury goods so owning luxury brand makeup is a way to support the fantasy of and desire for wealth. Very insightful video. Your the only beauty channel I follow because your the only one I’ve found that actually uses their brain. 😘
I love this video. I would also love to see this conversation continue by possibly turning it into a series if you’re up for it. I’d love to see one video per category, and maybe really dive deep into that category by exploring a few makeup items you’ve bought (whether currently in your collection or decluttered) to achieve that fantasy, but also maybe ad campaigns or brands that perpetuate that fantasy. So how it is personal to you, but also how it plays out on a cultural level. I am currently reorganizing many areas of my house (quarantine activities) and when I go through my makeup, I am excited to think about this-which category of fantasy caused me to buy this? Again, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, as you said. But what I think I’ll see is that the whole point of fantasy is that it is something we strive for, not something we achieve, and that no purchase fulfilled the fantasy, at least not long term. So I wonder: what role did that item play in my fantasy? Was it useful, productive, “positive”, or was it just another item? At a time in my life when I was struggling with control, feeling like everything was chaos, I turned to makeup to teach myself not to be so afraid. I joined Ipsy and told myself I had to wear everything in the bag out of the house (this was key) before the next bag came or I had to cancel. This taught me that it is okay to feel like I’m failing, to not be able to control how people saw me, because if a purple lipstick or orange blush came, I had to wear it. This project did WONDERS, and it is one reason why I still love subscription boxes (I only allow myself one subscription at a time). It taught me that not being able to control my image did not make as much of a difference as I thought it did. As you said about editing your videos, it taught me that there was so much more to me and to the world than what I thought I could control. To say it changed my life is not an overstatement. ButI still want to mindful not to assume that if one lipstick helped, then five lipsticks will help more. But makeup taught me that it’s okay to fail, that it’s more important to try, and that I never had the control I thought I had, and that’s okay. This is why love makeup so much.
One of the best videos you've ever done. Philosophical, personal, structured, innovative, well spoken and on topic. WOW Hannah, this is a masterpiece! I'll be revisiting this video as it has a larger message. Love love LOVE!
Having just found your channel I am mesmerized by how you went into this topic, you brought so many proto-thoughts of mine to surface I can only thank you for this video and save it so I can rewatch it time and time again!
What a beautiful essay like discussion about fantasy self that absolutely gave me life. The control fantasy though. That one hit me in the feels. I do want to write the narrative of how people see me. Recently my very wise younger friend told me that I control a room, and it really struck me, because I thought of myself as aggressive when she said it. And she explained that it had nothing to do with that. It was more that I was the light. The light that kept the room glowing, and that was regardless of looks, but rather because of who I am. What a defining moment for me. Thanks again for this. You’re the best HLP
I have been thinking about similar concepts for so many years and looked for others thoughts about it, but I was mostly disappointed that they didnt go as deep and nuanced as you have. Thank you for taking a dive into this topic like only you can, this was such an interesting video and I hope and think it will be part of a great discussion that will enrich us all.
I relate to this with makeup and clothing. 99% of the time when I buy an item of clothing or makeup it's not for practical reasons, it's because I think it'll make me appear a certain way and usually that means I want to look "cool" or "interesting". For example, I'll look at an item and get caught up in how grungey/edgy it'll make me look and that other people who admire that aesthetic will in turn admire ME. I also think what you're saying about with the wealth fantasy is so spot on and I see that a lot with other items like handbags too. I worked in a very upscale mall where you could tell that people who could barely pay rent in that increasingly gentrified area were coming in and buying designer items. I think it feeds into the fantasy of upward mobility. If you can't have vacation homes and luxury cars at least you can walk around with a Louis on your wrist. It's so so messed up.
I think in a way I've been using the fantasy of identity projection in the lock down. I've been spending my time pretty much every day to do my makeup in a way that makes me feel like I "look put together", even though no one sees me but my mom most days, but it helps me feel put together. To be more productive (in a healthy way, not an over productivity toxic way), and makes me happier. I feel like I can face the day better because of some concealer and cream blush. I love that power of makeup
I shower and get dressed to feel put together. If I just stay in pajamas it puts me in a funk. The application of makeup for me is just for fun these days. I really just do my eyes and put on highlighter any more though. Interestingly to me, back in March I wasn't even sure I liked highlighter. Now its pretty much my favorite face product. I think it might be because I found Mary Lou Manizer. She's so pretty! I enjoy putting a look together and wearing it throughout my day even if no one sees me. Kind of like wearing fun socks / underwear. No one in the grocery store knows I'm wearing hot pink socks, but it sure puts a spring in my step anyway. :D
Thoroughly enjoyed this topic and especially enjoy looking for the overlap where makeup and fashion (especially fast-fashion) encourage the false promise of the "this is who I need to be today" fantasy/need. Sidenote: How did your brows make it through the early aughts?
they made it through because in the early aughts I didn't even know that brows were a thing! I didn't even pluck the hairs that grow BETWEEN my brows until 2008. Brow shaping for me started around 2013. #latebloomer
Specifically these kinds of videos in the recent weeks have been such a treat. :) Thank you for exploring more deep going questions as well as the "regular beauty content"! These videos made me think of Autumn Whitefield-Madrano's book "face value", a lot of similar thoughts about the messiness, the good and bad aspects of make up/beauty myths for women. She also debunks a bunch of "science " on beauty, like the studys that want to prove what kind of metrics make a face/body beautiful. Turns out it's manly nonesene with unprofessional studys, that would be immediately and easly discredited if it where in a different field of research.
@@HannahLouisePoston I really liked it as a companion to "the beauty myth" by Wolf, they go quit nicly togehter. :) I thought a lot about one argument that wolf doesn't speak about but is getting discussed in "face value" is that make up and fashion can also be a great way to bond with other women. Even though it is superficial at first, it is an easy conversation starter and opens up a way of connecting with other. I think this becomes so true for the online beauty community, in which wonderful bonds are created over the initial factor of loving colourful powders.
Watching this while getting ready and just as you mentioned the red lipstick, I was applying a red lip for the first time in forever. Thanks for your content!
Love this video & the conversation you are starting! My fantasy self is physically healthy and has a casual, simple relationship with makeup, but this hasn't been my "reality self" since I was around 12 years old! You definitely look perfect! I look forward to reading the comments because the majority are generally thoughtful & interesting!
So much of this! My day to day job, I am the only woman there, or one of very few women. I wear steel toes, safety glasses, hard hat, etc. I don’t get to dress cute, it’s jeans and plaid shirts every single day - so makeup is a way for me to feel more feminine in an overwhelmingly masculine space. It also gives me a chance to be creative. I used to paint sometimes, I have been artistic since I was a child, and I miss making art. Putting together an eye look that coordinates with my flannel shirt, and now also a face mask, is a bright spot in my day. And yes - with long work days and very early morning wake ups, I enjoy that it makes me look more awake, put together for meetings, and a little younger. I’m finding that not using a crease shade ages me - my eyelids sagging is more noticeable than when I deepen my crease and outer corner. I turned 50 this year, my skin has been good for SO long and now it seems it’s hitting a wall and starting to slide. I’ve been fortunate with genetics, and I’ve been trying to take good care of my skin since my early 20’s. I’ve done a lot of work and invested years and money into preventing wrinkles, etc. I’ve never done fillers or Botox, never thought I’d want to and now it’s at the point - I might. It’s expensive though! Skincare a bit at a time is much more affordable. For a long time all I wore was mascara, and then I’d wear a little shadow, maybe some blush. Now I’ve decided that my makeup is sitting there going bad, waiting for me to use it on weekends - why not wear it during the week too? I’ve been watching TH-cam beauty videos for a very long time - many of the large influencers were in relatable because of how young they were, how many fillers, etc they used and how unrealistic their looks were for me to attempt. And a lot of it was very “drag” makeup - which is so fun- love love love it - but it didn’t translate to real life. And then I daydream I’ll somehow end up fabulously wealthy, I can wear flowing loose fitting clothing and feminine shoes, leave my hair down, have all the cosmetic surgery, and spend my days luxuriating around my home, relaxing, reading, entertaining and maybe wear something besides jeans and steel toed boots. 😂🤷🏼♀️
And of course, I have a third comment. I am a HUGE advocate for the exercise of identity projection. I just think you have to get really clear about it and strip away the fantasy. I can't remember if I said this here, yes, I think I did, but I often approach makeup as though I am actually a drag queen or a performer. And sometimes its just a mood. I need to be creative in my professional work (law is way more creative in many ways than people think), so I do very editorial makeup to create a mood to work. But I hugely use it in depositions to alter the way the other side sees me. I'm 43 and a woman but I read as younger than I am. And I 10,000% play that up with makeup and dress. I don't fight it, I encourage it. Because it creates a space where people underestimate me until they realize they should not. I do this because I enjoy celebrating being feminine and being a very feminine lawyer. And I just got exhausted trying to pretend I wasn't (then) a young, blonde, female litigator. So tired of fighting for people to know I am intelligent and capable and talented. So I flipped it. I dress how I dress and I do my makeup to project femininity and an interest in beauty. And if the witness or other attorney interprets that to mean I'm not good at m job well, they will learn I am. I don't have to rail against it. So to some extent, by projecting this identity, I am being my most me self. (And its not like you can't find out 1 million things about my career online in 20 minutes). But I am also projecting an image that is contrary to stereotypes of academic, powerful, experienced, well-read, and so on portions of myself. it's an easy image to see past. Ask me what I am reading or what cases I am trying or what boring things I do for fun. But it works enough that I find it to be an incredibly powerful way of flipping the script in terms of expectations of female litigators. And then sometimes, because of my area of law, I will do the opposite and dress super casually in minimal makeup because that projects a different aspect of my experience as a human and lawyer. But I do not dress or act like a man as I feel so so so so so many female lawyers feel pressured to do. And this works and is empowering because I am honest about it. I know what I am doing and why I am doing it. It doesn't affect how I speak or act, it's just me playing with how people perceive me already and instead of apologizing for it, I use it as an advantage. And thank you for coming to my Ted Talk on makeup for litigators. :-) This is one of my favorite videos this year Hannah. So so good.
Such a great breakdown. I've been using your idea of the fantasy self for a while to help me understand my impulses. I'm a sucker for the fantasy of perfection, and I get sucked in by the promise of makeup/skincare/whatever solving a problem and bringing me one step closer. It makes me feel "productive" when I'm struggling to get things done.
Also the perfection of application or collection!! Angie Di Battista tells her students to let go of this idea of "the best product". It really opened my eyes to how I consume certain TH-camrs' content.
This video describes-probably much more clearly than I’d explained to myself-something I’ve been challenging myself to do a lot lately with regard to potential purchases...which is to practice acknowledging the reality of myself first...and THEN apply the fantasy of the makeup to see if the relationship is symbiotic. So, for example, I might see a gorgeous lipstick and instantly want it. But I’m challenging myself to remember that such a lipstick would only ever go on my lips. I’m not buying anybody else’s lips. It sounds so stupid to say this aloud! But imagining MY lips...would I still like that lipstick? I think I’m interested in cultivating a healthy relationship between self-acceptance and fanstasy with makeup. Is that a contradiction? I don’t know. ❤️
I'm not a makeup person but your thoughts are applicable to me in other aspects of my life. I noticed after your video ages ago on the "fantasy self" that a lot of my spending was ruled by this. That would explain all the unread books, unworn clothes and shoes I have. A me in another life would have owned those things
Fantasy and wealth - that’s my problem right now. Buying expensive makeup makes me feel like, in some aspect of my life, I am successful, for being able to buy this expensive thing.
I am terrible with meal planing and budgeting on food. So much goes to waste. You have alluded to how you plan and make meals and I would be so interested in a video on that.
If I know I have a stressful day coming up at work-a day involving talking to a lot of people and putting myself out there-I spend more time with makeup in the morning. I told my bf it was because makeup felt like armor against their gaze but I’m guessing it’s a blend of makeup as disguise and as a fantasy of embodying a role.
I love the way you touch on how difficult it can be to embrace and express your femininity in this video and the one about shame around make up. Personally, I used to resign very quickly, because I developed this impossible standard that I should look like influencers or celebrities, but without "trying too hard". I'm just starting to enjoy to take care of my appearance and viewing it more as a form of nonverbal communication.
I totally get the fantasy of staying youthful. I was never a makeup wearer in my youth. Wasn't till I turned 30 and thought I should start wearing makeup to "cover up" signs of aging. Now I'm nearly 40 drawers full of makeup. Over the last year or two Ive stopped wearing makeup daily and now think "who cares, why can't I just be me?"
I began wearing makeup around the age of 30 because of the fantasy that I could control the way people perceived me. I'm 4'9" with a baby face and was getting kind of tired of being condescended to constantly as if I were 10 years younger than I actually am (I am 36 now). It was not only fun but also a sort of desperate attempt to be taken more seriously. The truth is that some people treat me completely differently with makeup on and some people treat me the same - it depends on the person. But I now wear makeup for me, not other people. Over the years it has morphed into fun self-care and an artistic expression - something much healthier.
Thank you for making this video!! For me, the fantasy of makeup is of having the most exciting and expensive products. I think like you said this is the fantasy of wealth. I think for me it's because I watched so many youtubers who showed off their collections and the products they had were so "Instagrammable." I just recently realized... NO ONE is coming into my bedroom to admire my fancy candles or lipstick and it doesn't impress the only other person who sees it (my husband!)
I love your bangs but this hairstyle is also very beautiful! I’m not here for the makeup content but for your always so interesting reflections on shopping behaviour in general - and as always I find many aspects also in the makeup content that is relevant for me! That‘s why I don‘t miss any of your videos! Sending you lots of love!
Oh gooooodness, have you hit the nail on the head! When I turned 52, I felt the only way to stave-off the impending doom of losing my youth & fading into the background of society becoming a wilted flower to be scorned by it, was to take fairly extreme measures: so, I decided to train & participate in a figure competition by the end of that year. Yes, my body looked more amazing than it ever had - and people did truly treat me differently, with more respect, I’d say. And, while I enjoyed the process of training and then as the event got closer, the beauty aspect of stage poise & appearance, the actual event didn’t have the personal payoff of accomplishment I’d anticipated, even tho I did come home with a trophy... I don’t know what I’d imagined that payoff would be exactly, but I did enjoy the feeling of confidence I’d gained in working thru my insecurities & persevering to achieve a goal. Soon thereafter, I was asked to be a fitness instructor at a private golf resort, which sparked the fantasy of feeling accepted & desired by the wealthy in my community. In one of your earlier videos, I’d posted a comment that I’d since quit that job (after 3 years) due to the stress of trying to “do it all” & “be it all” which we all get caught-up into to some degree. I write all of this because I now realize that what you’ve indicated for buying beauty products to satisfy fantasy or meet expectations (perceived or recognized) to gain/maintain societal acceptance in the myriad roles we play goes so much deeper than the makeup we wear - it literally molds our life choices. I love this new perspective you’ve given and will be keeping it close as I examine my triggers, choices, etc. Sending you much love & appreciation for the insights you share, and for inspiring me to look deeper💕😘👍🌸
Great topic, well-thought out and articulated, as always; thank you for your contribution to the conversation on beauty. My personal makeup fantasies are: the fantasy of natural beauty, and the fantasy of artistry (I have all my palettes depotted to larger palettes, I like sleek pro-mua-like packaging, I mix products..). Thank you for helping me put my finger on that.
The first time I touch make up, I was six years old...It was a mauve lipstick that my mom wear...I found my mom to so pretty with it that I just want to be like her. Makeup came back in my adult life because I need to be feminine and to have some control in my life life. I been very sick. I had breast cancer and I have five kids and wants to look ok for me and for them. I wanted to look normal.It's hard to loose tour hair, your brows and your lashes, to look so pale and to weird skin color because of the chimio. Makeup helps me to get through this harsh journey, it help me put a smile on my face. It felt good. So I'm better now. I survive and I continue to wear makeup and play wirh color...Thank to be you...Your such a beautiful woman and soul... Sophie
I don't ware make up, but I am a human women person, and therefore still incredibly preoccupied by my appearance. I was never able to make and/or never able to believe that make up would help me with the fantasy of being perfect or beautiful or desirable. Whether I was unsuccessful so I became uninterested, or uninterested and there for never tried enough to be successful with it, I could never make it work. I never feel more beautiful while wearing make up. It always feels like a clumsy lie that does more to highlight my imperfections than cover them up. I am sometimes critical of what I precive in others as delusion, or a willingness to play into corporate exploitation, but I am so jealous of and impressed by people who have talent and artesty with make up. I feel stupid now for not learning how to use it as a tool because of what you describe in your last points about transformation and identity projection. I wish I had it as a tool, because whether or not I wear make up I still have a preoccupation with the fantasies of being beautiful, perfect and desired. I would love to use my own power and artesty to dress my self up and beat my face and "feel the fantasy" for the night. That's part of why the idea of "living" and "realness" were created, right? Because it is empowering to live your dream self by crafting a look that begets an attitude that begets the dream. To channel something more powerful and beautiful inside of you. To manifest it, to create it, to let it give you strength or energy or protection. I have no access to that, I'm just the same every day (accept those surprize sometimes when my hair decides to look amazing for no reason and I feel completely UNSTOPPABLE). If I wake up in the morning feeling like I look like shit I have no control at all. I feel I can't do anything in the face (lol pun) of my plainness or unattractiveness or imperfections. At the same time maybe someone might be jealous of me for my ability to feel more or less complete and presentable without make up on? Most of the time I do have a comfort level with my own skin that I am pretty proud of. Would I tade one for the other? (I am definitely NOT insinuating being comfortable in your own skin and having skill with make up are inherently mutually exclusive.) Wounderful video. You're last point in particular about editing yourself was something I really needed to hear. It was really beautiful to see the conviction with which you say it.
I’m admiring your beauty as you speak. Please do a video showing how you did your makeup and hair today. So casually chic. So enchanting, so gorgeous 😍
Another fantasy that I think can come up for youtube watchers in parasocial relationships is the fantasy of belonging. I see this the most on IG and Twitter and on a couple of channels as they newly start. But people who buy EVERY influencer collab and launch. The J* star people I think fell into this. This idea that if I buy enough makeup from influencers or channels I like that the influencer will like me and be my friend and feel for me what I might feel for him and her when I watch them. This is one that doesn't affect me, but I can see that it would have affected me at a different stage in my life (I have the tati beauty palette, which i have literally half panned and Sam's Ofra collab, which I use all the time, and have panned the gloss, but given away the liquid lipstick, and that's it). But watching people on twitter around the tati palette and the conspiracy palette and their fantasy of being in a relationship with the creators felt bad to me in a way that made me take a LONG break from twitter. And in many ways it can be positive. I value my microcommunities and chats with influencers. But I know that buying their eyeshadows doesnt mean we are going to suddenly have a zoom chat and wine night and braid each other's hair. I'm not sure other people know that or are able to see through the fantasy enough to know it.
The fantasy of wealth 🤯. Was just saying on my channel that I love the nd shadows because they make me feel special (really I mean they are expensive and I loved that I owned such an expensive item). And you are so right in saying that expensive makeup does not reach the level of expense in other areas and is therefore easier with which to demonstrate “wealth.” What I struggle with is the fact that I love some of my other less expensive palettes more but they do not evoke the same feeling because they don’t tap into what you have so eloquently identified. Must ponder for hours... Don’t get me started on the fantasy of youth!! Could write essays based on what you bring up on your channel! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I so agree about photoshop fueling the desire to look perfect. I’ll be 67in September and I love the way I look. I look like a 67 year old woman and I refuse to photoshop or filter my IG posts. I think feeling wealthy from wearing makeup must be generational. I’ve never worn or purchased makeup with the feeling that it would make me appear or even feel wealthy. I love this discussion!
This is TED talk material. I have not found anyone else on TH-cam who has not only wanted to, but also been so well able, to articulate what you do about makeup, shame, fantasy, and the experience of being a woman as a whole. I have struggled with the same things as you have around makeup and spending and have spent a lot of time thinking about the root causes, as you have. As soon as I started watching you I was like "She's my people." haha. Thanks so much for taking the time to create these videos and share your thoughts. It feels so good to be able to watch someone and be like "yes. yes. yes!!!" You've helped my meandering thoughts on this topic solidify and it's inspired me to take similar actions as you have in regard to spending less and really thinking about the why.
thank you for this comment!
LittleSern Totally Agree 🙌🏼
I replay Hannah’s videos from her No Buy Year. So insightful. Such wonderful, sincere & truthful content.
So true! Absolutely TED worthy.
Agree! More “fantasy self” topics! Such a wonderful conversation :)
such an interesting counterpoint to the "$1000 fantasy sephora cart" tag that's going around right now
wow, I didn't even think of that!!
This was my first though!
That is why she is making this video! It's obvious that she has come across the 1000 videos
Was thinking the same thing!
That's why this drew me in. I actually liked the discussion because it can be about anything we buy. Not just makeup.
"My name is Hannah, and this is my year of consumer philosophy." 😊😁💖
All of your content is so impressive. Thank you. When I was 27 in 2015, I survived a brain aneurysm rupture. I shaved my head and lost my identity as the smartest kid in the room. I clutched to makeup to try and fix the external deformity, but it was really to soothe the loss I felt inside. None of my family understands. Thank you for your words. They made me feel understood for the first time in 5 years 💜
I got really into buying makeup in 2015 at the age of 25 when I had been diagnosed with an AVM and aneurism. The meds had made me begin to gain weight and feel sick. Makeup helped me feel more like my old self and feel like I was put together and worthy.
I read about a study that showed women who wear “discernible amounts of makeup” at work are perceived to be more competent. That’s literally why I started wearing makeup.
MIND BLOWN
I've heard that too. When I reached a certain management stage at work I started wearing more makeup and then realized....fuck it? Now I only wear it if I feel like it, or have an important meeting. Or if I'm having a major breakout (though sometimes trying to cover it just makes it more noticable, you know?)
I've read about that, too! If I remember correctly, the study got really specific with different work scenarios, such as women who wear makeup were perceived to be on time for work more, complete their tasks, be easier to work with, etc. SO CRAZY!!!
It's definitely not why I started wearing makeup, but man has it affected my consciousness and spending.
Jep, wear too little and you're slobby. Wear too much and you're vain. Wear and foundation, mascara and lipstick and you're competent. Like what? 🤦♀️
Women really are judged by how they look before anything else 😤
Man I’ve been watching you since pretty close to the beginning and I think you produce the most thought provoking content within the beauty space. Not only do these videos require us to question the community as a whole but it also asks us to look within ourselves. Well done Hannah 👏🏽👏🏽 Believe me I will find away to write about this phenomenon in one of my upcoming sociology classes in the fall semester
thank you so much, Jalyn!! I'm glad you are here
Hear hear❤
This reminds me of what I always say about people buying lottery tickets. You’re not actually buying a very small chance a prize. You’re buying a fantasy of becoming a millionaire and thinking about what you’d do with the money, even if they know it’s not likely to win the lottery.
I think along with the fantasy of youth is the related, the fantasy of health, or even, the fantasy of a kind of immortality. My first exposure to this growing up was that on days I covered up my naturally dark circles, people would comment about how healthy, how “awake” I looked. Then when I didn’t wear concealer, people would ask if I was feeling ok. 😳 Now as someone with fibromyalgia, I use makeup as one...a way to promote my “healthy identity” in the public space, and two...as a way to convince myself that maybe I was a little less tired than I feel. I think this fantasy has become peculiarly resonant of late...we are suddenly confronted with our mortality in a new, and frightening way. At the same time, we have lost our “performative” public spaces where makeup plays its social role. For me makeup has become both less important (as I wear it less frequently) and more important, because the days I do wear it give me great artistic pleasure. A lot of things to roll around in our heads. Thank you for this video! I am going to try to notice my makeup fantasies more this week.
Can you please explain what you mean by the performative public spaces where makeup plays a social role, because this sounds really interesting! Have we lost it generally or right now temporarily because of covid?
I relate to this. A slightly different but related comment: sometimes I don’t want to wear makeup but it’s less work to apply makeup than to deal with negative comments about whether I am “ok” because I haven’t covered my dark circles or neurofibromatosis and therefore I “look sick” even though these conditions are benign (for me! These are not benign for everyone!) and are not related to whether I am tired, sick, healthy, or happy. I get exhausted from comments asking if I am tired :/
Omg yes, makeup and chronic illness is a whole other can of worms. I always debate with myself if I should wear makeup to the doctor's office, like if I should "show like I'm making an effort", or if I should avoid "looking too healthy and happy to be complaining of so much chronic pain". I can't win. 😐
Naomi and Corvin I have done the exact same calculation about the Dr’s office. Almost every time I go. One time I went without makeup and the Dr wanted to test me for anemia. 😳 I usually opt for a lightly made up face, which in my case is concealer, mascara and blush. The dr can see my pallor still, but they aren’t worried I’m a zombie. Sending good vibes yo you! Hope you are feeling well.
Natalie McDonald I understand completely. I started wearing concealer and mascara. That way I don’t scare anybody and no one comments on my health. 😘❤️
I relate to the idea that we don’t truly know ourself without having seen ourselves move and act around people, as well as how we sound talking or singing. And that our appearance is not as important as our personalities and mannerisms or what we say and how we say it. We don’t usually remember how someone looked in detail years after seeing them but we do remember how they were or what they did. This should tell us to not worry so much about appearances but that’s not how we are programmed. Love your content and the different subjects you create a discussion about! 🌸🌺💐
my fantasy for this video was that there wouldn't be a big hair bump protruding from the left side of my head...ALAS
Hey, hair lump aside, you got the cushions arranged this time!😸
Hannah Louise Poston I think your hair looks so cute! I didn’t even notice the bump until you pointed it out, it’s a cute look for switching things up!
@Sara so true, CUSHIONS ON POINT
It adds character
ponytail hair bumps were my nemesis back when I had long hair, the curls laughed at my attempts to tame them. I empathize with your plight.
I’m living for this ponytail look!
Someone in my instagram network recently remarked that they felt that putting on makeup was 'glamour magick' and I really can't overstate how much I identified with and loved that concept, despite it perhaps indulging heavily in that projected fantasy self. When I smear a very rich, dimensional eyeshadow over my eyelids, or when I press a lip product into my lips that stings like little bees, I cant help but feel like there is some credence to that magic claim. Maybe this experience is particular to me, but as someone who has always struggled to identify with her face in the mirror, the tactile meditation of examining my cheekbones, and then smearing a particularly lively cream blush onto them, helps me to feel connected with my body and (like you mentioned) with my femininity. I really like the idea of makeup (and fashion choice) as domestic ritual, in the same way that brewing the perfect coffee / tea, or cooking the perfect meal, or folding the linens in a particularly pleasing way might be. Thank you for another lovely & thought provoking video! 🖤🖤🖤
this is lovely!!!
You are brilliant ! I thank you for being the antidote to our unhealthy relationship to beauty as women. And thank you for giving language to this important topic for so many of us.
I wish I could be as eloquent as you. Please just know that you are an absolute breath of fresh air with your insight!
I especially appreciate your explanation of the notion of the fantasy of natural beauty, the tension between having to look great but being shamed for trying. I am not sure what the answer is. However, after my 50 years I find that getting my inside right makes me far more comfortable with the outside. And that means looking however I want when I want, no matter what others opinions are. It's the gift of growing older.
thank you so much, Lisa
Since I started watching your channel, it has made me smarter, and more discerning about my make-up and why I'm buying it - thank you for turning these thoughts and anxieties into tangible ideas that I can grasp for myself. For years I've been mulling over this idea of how make-up makes me into the "ideal woman," and how much is "too much" or "too little" - it's so convoluted! Let's all live our best make-up filled or free lives!
YES!! Let's!!!
So true!!! Hannah, you are not someone who makes people buy x or y, but makes me and many more think about why we want to buy things. Your videos stir my thoughts every time 😃
Please don't underestimate how much your marvelous vocabulary is also part of your identity too :) Your lilting voice and fulsome phrases linger longer than your lashes ever will! I think that one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is "What will indulging in THIS particular fantasy actually do TO and FOR me?" Artificial confidence, Excellent! Make me feel rich for the 20 minutes when I buy it, maybe not so great.
One of the things I think a lot of people relate to (and is the basis of Parti Starr's new marketing) which fits into several of these has to do with size inclusion, not of influencers or advertising, but the fact I can walk into a makeup store and while some products might not be suited for my personal coloration, ALL 'fit' me. When you are plus sized, there are very few stores you can just walk into and feel that way, especially if you are with friends of different sizes. To not be looked up and down by a clerk and know from their face that nothing in there is going to fit me, that trendy color combos and products are only limited by the price ranges they are offered and and what you can afford and not by what size the brand goes up to (assume it will even fit my body right in my size anyway), not to be sent to the corner in back with the handful of frumpy and basic colors. That I can talk with people of all sizes, genders, and presentations about it and have a shared experience. It's a fantasy where my body isn't the negative center piece of how I present myself- I get plenty of comments on how 'well' I dress my body implying that it's remarkable that I can look good in clothes in comparison to what is socially expected, but any comments about my makeup are in relation to their own skills and interests in it.
Hannah, I don't think I have ever said this but: I LOVE YOU. your thoughts, your person, everything that goes on in that wonderful brain of yours and your ability to share that with others. You held my attention the ENTIRE time you spoke and I just feel so lucky that this platform allowed me to hear and learn from you, such a compassionate and thoughtful human. A true champion of femininity and autonomy! You give me much thought to chew on tonight
Yes! Such an inspirational woman. I feel so lucky she shares her mind with the world.
thank you so much for this sweet comment, it made me tear up
Hannah Louise Poston and every time you reply to my comments I do too! (I’ve recently changed channels to protect my privacy now that I make content) but you have irrevocably changed my life since posting content three years ago. In fact, I attribute much of my adult conscience (esp in the beauty space and in being a woman doing her work in the world) to you and that mind of yours! Thank you again for all you do ❤️
There's also the idea of the 'fantasy self' that has a different life/does different things than you actually do. Buying lots of glamorous makeup and ball gowns as if you're someone who goes to parties and the theatre several times a week... when the reality is that you work in a very non-glamorous job, and in fact go out to a fancy party or the theatre two or three times a year. Speaking from experience. 🙈
How prescient this video is! I realized just yesterday that when I buy eyeshadow or am lusting after eyeshadow, it’s not the thing I want but rather the idea or the fantasy of the thing. Most of the other categories of my makeup collection I don’t have a problem keeping down to a couple of products, but my eyeshadow collection has seriously spiraled out of control over the last two years. And I hardly even wear it! About a month ago I finally admitted to myself that with my hooded eyes, there’s not even much point in elaborate daily eye looks anyway. I realized that I am buying the idea/fantasy that I am the kind of person that (a) wears eyeshadow regularly, (b) is creative with eyeshadow, hence going on wild goose chases after certain colors, (c) want to be seen as the kind of person who is artistic and adventurous. But I’m not! I’m an academic, and any time I take the time to apply eyeshadow I feel guilty that I’m not reading because my brain assimilates the most information in the morning. I only ever put eyeshadow on when I go out on the weekends. Even if I do become that fantasy self that wears colorful eyeshadow often, I have so much eyeshadow that I could scarcely need more for years. However, I have also noticed that I tend to buy the most makeup when I am stressed, which is typically around finals. Perhaps this is the tension between the reality of my life and my fantasy self manifesting. I indulge in my fantasy when I am stressed about reality, and imagining myself to be the kind of person with fewer time commitments and more artistic creativity. Buying eyeshadow is the real escape for me, not even wearing it. It’s the idea of the thing and the idea of who I am that motivates my purchases. Thank you for this video, Hannah. It helped me connect the dots.
Yes, the fantasy of age! At 46, I finally stopped coloring my hair. It’s been 5 months since I last colored my hair. I hated doing it but kept doing it so that I would look younger. What finally changed my perspective was the verse Proverbs 16:3 Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained by a righteous life. Why hide my age when I’ve been blessed to live long enough for my hair to lose its pigment? Makeup, on the other hand is a soothing process to me which I still enjoy. I’m much more basic now but I still enjoy playing with the powders and creams.
I love when fantasy becomes reality - I want to be the kind of person who wears black glitter eyeshadow to parties, I buy black glitter, I wear it to a party, I AM the kind of person who wears black glitter eyeshadow to parties! mAGiC
I recently decided I am a colorful glitter highlighter kinda gal. I never would have seen it in myself, but I love it.
:)
That's what I realised too :)
The fantasy of temporary transformation is a large aspect within the mermaid community of which I participate; as well as cosplay.
Give anyone the opportunity to play with makeup and tell them to paint upon their face their persecption of what a mermaid/merman/siren/nagini is and you will see what that transformation means to them. I see an explosion of happiness, confidence, happiness, and power the more they allow themselves to inhabit this mythic version of a being they are allowing themselves to be in that moment. Personally I find my expression of my "mersona" taking shape in the expression of angles, spots, minimal colour, all base and defined face shape; a sharp powerfulness appears. Whereas someone elses mersona takes shape in riotous colour, glitter brows, scale faces, blue and green lips; a playfulness appears.
It is beautiful and amazing considering the makeup I put on when I desire to wear what I want on my face with no limitations, I too become colorful and playful. Cosplay is another way i utilize transformation to showcase my masculine parts of my being. Changing my face shape, binding my chest, shaping my body with clothing, hair and makeup with the knowledge from my feminine self in order to bring forth and revel in my masculine self.
I love this!!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Watching this video was oddly emotional because it summed up so much that I've never been able to fully articulate myself. This is *prime* HLP content. Thought provoking, applicable, relatable, and introspective. Listening to all the points you've made here, I'm dumfounded by how you've managed to fully and accurately depict every personal pondering and internal conflict I've had with makeup myself.
My initial reaction to this makeup discussion (not so much a response, as that requires more thought than my sleepy brain can conjure), is: What happens to all these points when makeup fails us? How do we feel when our mascara smudges and migrates, or our foundation cracks around our mouths, or we get lipstick on our teeth. The feeling of defeat and, almost sneakily, shame that overcomes us with feeling as if we've done something wrong; shattering the illusion of perfection and status that we've, now emphasized by our tangible mishap, purposefully *created*.
Excellent video, as per usual. This is one to watch again and again. You hear and learn more every time.
Such an interesting point! To me this is where shame and capitalism intersects. If we couldn't make that foundation look flawless and perfect the whole day, it's probably us who are not good enough at makeup application, because it looks like everyone else can make it work (i.e. everyone *online* aka not reality). Maybe buying a new foundation brush will help us achieve the desired/promised effect. Maybe another foundation. Maybe another primer. Or setting powder. Just this perpetual motion machine of capitalism fueled by our disappointments when we fall short of achieving the promised/advertised perfection we were trying to buy.
Your idea about the fantasy of desirability really hit home for me... the pressure of the male gaze is so strong! I was also thinking about extending this to the fantasy of agelessness... femme presenting people in media images seem to not be “allowed” to age with wrinkles, or else they will be seen as gross or ugly. Yet somehow, male presenting people seem “dignified” as they age. The patriarchy is so deeply ingrained in us, that it’s so hard to get out of this mindset!
P.s. thank you for this TED talk, Hannah!!! Such an interesting discussion. ❤️❤️✨
I like makeup because it’s a aspect of myself that I can change everyday. Like I can’t have a new wardrobe and new shoes to match my mood everyday but I can switch from neutral soft glam to red eyeshadow and black lipstick and completely change how people see me.
Yes! I gained a bit of weight after going on a new medication a few years ago, and realized that even though I didn't fit into some of the beautiful, curated, vintage outfits anymore didn't mean I couldn't still wear a beautiful face of makeup or have fun hair
So true!
Wow, I loved this video and the last one so much!! This feels related to the way American culture heavily promotes the fantasy of self-optimization. This idea that if we're just "productive" enough, fit enough, thin enough, if we have no zits, if we make enough money - whatever, then you can become perfect. This idea that there's got to be some kind of spiritual contentment at the end of the long road of self-optimization, a road which of course involves buying lots of products. And the message that if you haven't reached that contentment yet, it's because you haven't properly self-optimized. I'm realizing more and more that having a robust sense of self-esteem and contentment with your own imperfection, especially if you're a woman, is a direct threat to systems of power.
I love how you've put this! Excellent!
Oh girl. Yeah. I am generally nonplussed by discussion of 'fantasy self" discussions on other channels, and that's mostly because I don't believe the other channels really get at the truth of it. I grew up showing dogs across the country on a high level (like Jane Lynch in Best in Show) and was in part raised by drag queens and gay men and people who used fantasy for performance in life and showing animals (my own little subculture). And so fantasy self in terms of makeup purchasing has never been a problem to me. I've also spent a lot of time in other subcultures where makeup creates a fantasy version of self that one engages in from time to time. I'm 43 and my makeup consciousness came from Vogue and the grunge supermodels in 1992 and not instagram and youtube, which I think matters in terms of understanding that its a look and not reality. Linda Evangelista is gorgeous, but she clearly did not wake up like this, in Patrick Demarchelier photos in tartan and dirty Berlin black and white. But the fantasy of wealth. That's the dangerous one and the one i feel like most people don't speak about or get into with more superficial discussions of fantasy life. And Lauren talked about this in her last video and some previous videos (all the amens Lauren)., I can say, that at times when I have been unable to buy truly and stupidly expensive designer fashion because of my size, because at that point I was plus size and couldn't fit into lululemon (worst corporate ethics of life, but I still want to wear it) or Kate Spade or Prada or fill in the blank, I was more inclined to buy more expensive makeup because it was expensive and not because it was good. Not because I WOULD buy a $400 dress or a $1,000 coat, but because I literally could NOT. And forget Sephora, I shopped at Saks and MAYBE Nordstrom. The degree to which my body image and how I felt I looked in what I could buy, what a bunch of designers decided I was "allowed" to buy because of my size, affected the makeup I bought and the amount I spent was insane. And since I have been able to wear and buy more designer brands, its not that I do very much (and part of why I appreciate the SO FASHION of rental services), but the reality that I am now "allowed" to buy that Michael Kors dress on my Nordstrom wishlist or the Zac Posen line at Brooks Brothers (I die), affects what I see as value. So yes, Chanel makes some great products. So does Sisley. Also Tom Ford. But I don't need to only buy those brands and compulsively so to "supplement" my wardrobe and make myself feel as though I am feeling and projecting success. I can be content with one pair of red and one pair of black designer shoes and wear them for years (and into the ground), ditto for all the fashion. And so my makeup choices have calmed. I know Pat and Natasha are luxury, but its not the same thing as buying the ENTIRE spring line of Chanel/Dior/YSL/Sisley makeup at Saks. Circling back so this makes something approaching a coherent point, since the very beginning on your channel, you've discussed that your purchases had a component of the fantasy of wealth (your VIB rouge during my no buy year video nails this). And that's what I've appreciated the most, because I think other discussions of "fantasy self" can either be over generalizations or can miss why the fantasy self is a positive and often gloss over what is personally dangerous to me. Plenty of channels get it right too, but the notion of "fantasy self" is not inherently bad or wasteful or destructive. It's a question of whether in that morass, you, the consumer, have a specific trigger or pain point, not whether maybe you have a couple of glitters or cake liners, or red lipsticks for your dominatrix vibes that maybe you won't completely use up. Because I'm completely fine indulging in my Russian spy or German dominatrix looks to go to Whole Foods on Saturday. I am not fine dropping thousands of dollars at Saks on makeup because I cannot fit into their luxury fashion and I want to look as successful as I am (or worse, want to feel). (side props to Lauren for hitting this point a few times as well).
Haven't watched yet but it's fun to see you in a pony tail!
The idea of the “fantasy self” is one of my favorite things that I have learned/found language for from your channel! Definitely has fueled my make up buying habits in the past. And I’m fascinated now by wondering what actions/behaviors define me to other people. Loved this discussion!
absolutely agree with this! it's amazing how well you can catch yourself in certain behaviours and notice them much more sharply once you "have a name for it".
This could be a series! Even if it's not going to be I'm here for talking about makeup and philosophy. HERE. FOR. IT.
EDIT: Some thoughts after watching. At the end you touched on "the fantasy of identity projection" which is the main reason I love makeup. When I was younger I dabbled, but I never really fell in love with makeup until my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 (she's okay now, living her best life cancer free!). But in the midst of chemotherapy, makeup helped her appear as if she was healthy. She never wanted to be "a cancer patient," she wanted people to see *her*. I then realized that makeup can be very powerful and began to use it to change others' perception of me. Specifically, I used it to make myself look more mature and older as in my early 20's I owned a small business and I wanted people to take me seriously since I have always looked younger than I am (a two-edged sword). I am also an artist so I love that aspect of it as well.
love this. I feel you about the double-edge sword of looking young!
I really wrestle with how much of my makeup love/makeup buying habits is me fufilling an idea of myself that is healthy (a person who has a good relationship with taking care of herself and also has a great time playing with concepts of fashion) or an idea of myself that is unhealthy (a woman that is attempting to adhere to norms that I havent thought critically about and could be based in misogyny and white beauty standards) its so hard to tow that line. Especially when the tools or products are so expensive!!
yes, this is such a good way of putting it! the line is very, very fine and often blurry.
oh man, this is such a great topic! i think about this stuff a lot. i took a marketing class back in the day and i have often sort of reverse engineered a marketing message to bring myself back to reality. so, if a product is clearly trying to sell me X fantasy, i can check myself if that is why i'm buying it.
what i found really interesting, in my 10+ years of observing the beauty community on youtube like some kind of sociologist/anthropologist, is the rise of people amassing previously unthinkable amounts of makeup (and then skincare) fueled by the fantasy of abundance that then turned into the fantasy of minimalism and the perfectly curated collection. when all this excessive consumption was happening i really wondered how it would end, but just like so many things in life, it turns out to be a waveform: it builds up and then it comes down. and i bet once our world feels more settled again there will be another uptick in excessive consumption.
I think the fantasy of “natural” make up has gripped me the most in the past 6 months or so. The idea that I woke up this way has a strong pull on me and I think health has also played a roll. However last year it was way more the fantasy of wealth that took over in regards to makeup. Strangely enough when I got better with finances my fantasy with makeup shifted. Maybe when I get to a spot where I feel more healthy my relationship with makeup and the fantasies that surround it will also change.
I am LIVING for the ponytail and this makeup. Wow!
I loved this ! I’m an image consultant and always teach my clients that we are a book the most important part is the inside but the reason they hire me is to show who they are in a coherent way so that the cover of the books matched their best real self and their goals and dreams, so that this gives them the opportunity so that when they are on the shelf people will see the cover and get a glimpse of their wonderful inside content. I adored this video I’m actually giving a masterclass today about this to women around the world that want to work on their image. I love you Hannah you are a great book with a beautiful matching cover ❤️
As a type A. Oh fantasy. Oh how I wish I was perfect. Maybe not even in my physical appearance. How I interact with the world and my family. That my home would be tidy, minimal. That I would have great relationships with my kids. That my relationship with husband was the bomb (though it’s pretty close a lot of days). Oh how I fantasize about not being plagued with Chronic fatigue and getting all the things done. The workout. The meals, the fun...it goes way beyond makeup. So much deeper than makeup. I put makeup on because it looks like I did something. Anything.
Yes! I feel like this too ❤️
Your content is so good. It's so nice to hear your opinion about this, because selling a fantasy is such a huge part of this community... and it's very important to know that sometimes said fantasy may not be what you actually want/need for your life. What you said about how the makeup of big/popular youtubers look in real life vs. in photos really resonates with me, because I used to think that I needed to wear full glam every single day to look pretty and healthy, but at the end the day, I'd looked at myself in the mirror and I hated how cakey, crusty and awful my face looked with that much makeup. Now I've come to terms that I don't need to wear so much stuff on my face because it doesn't look in real life... and it's even kind of nice to let my hyperpigmentation marks free, so I don't wear foundation. I think you gave me the idea when you mentioned that you usually don't wear foundation except for the photoshoots for your clothing store. It's difficult to see through the fantasy, but content like yours and many other youtubers are making it easier to watch and love beauty content from a more realistic and practical way.
I am so happy you mentioned that it doesn't matter how we look but how we act.
I realized this quite a long time ago, but it always helps to hear it again.
This video speaks to me so much. You bring up so many things that I’ve learned to be true about my own relationship with makeup and beauty. Your content runs deep, but that’s what makes it so unique and valuable.
This resonates with me so much. You're articulating and connecting thoughts that I've had in the back of my head- things that motivated me to buy products, fantasies I entertain knowing they're not real deep down.
Look at this fierce pony! Love!
I found this so interesting and these sorts of analyses are why I keep coming back to your channel despite rarely wearing or buying makeup myself. I really think this is useful for anyone to hear regardless of age, gender, mindset etc as it is so applicable to everything.
cutting myself off from unnecessary advertising is what helped my self image so much!! not being super involved in beauty instagram, no longer reading magazines targeted to women, getting youtube premium so i’m not subjected to needless ads, and taking it upon myself to purposefully NOT edit my photos or using filters. and when i do my makeup, i do still have some element of flawlessness in mind. but doing these things has helped significantly with not constantly chasing perfect. just a tailored, artistic, expressive version of myself
Love all of this. I resonate with the contradictions within different aspects of fantasy, especially with wanting a natural look, also covering my acne scars, and then going full glam for a party. I agree that recognizing the fantasy is really important to putting having/using/buying makeup into perspective. I feel like there's a strong connection between fantasy and anticipation connected to shopping behaviors, especially frequent shopping where you're looking for that next hit of dopamine.
I really appreciate the direction your channel has been taking the last few weeks (I've always enjoyed it, but you know what I mean...).
12:00 You really hit the nail on the head talking about how expensive luxury makeup is more affordable than other luxury goods so owning luxury brand makeup is a way to support the fantasy of and desire for wealth. Very insightful video. Your the only beauty channel I follow because your the only one I’ve found that actually uses their brain. 😘
I love this video. I would also love to see this conversation continue by possibly turning it into a series if you’re up for it. I’d love to see one video per category, and maybe really dive deep into that category by exploring a few makeup items you’ve bought (whether currently in your collection or decluttered) to achieve that fantasy, but also maybe ad campaigns or brands that perpetuate that fantasy. So how it is personal to you, but also how it plays out on a cultural level. I am currently reorganizing many areas of my house (quarantine activities) and when I go through my makeup, I am excited to think about this-which category of fantasy caused me to buy this? Again, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, as you said. But what I think I’ll see is that the whole point of fantasy is that it is something we strive for, not something we achieve, and that no purchase fulfilled the fantasy, at least not long term. So I wonder: what role did that item play in my fantasy? Was it useful, productive, “positive”, or was it just another item?
At a time in my life when I was struggling with control, feeling like everything was chaos, I turned to makeup to teach myself not to be so afraid. I joined Ipsy and told myself I had to wear everything in the bag out of the house (this was key) before the next bag came or I had to cancel. This taught me that it is okay to feel like I’m failing, to not be able to control how people saw me, because if a purple lipstick or orange blush came, I had to wear it. This project did WONDERS, and it is one reason why I still love subscription boxes (I only allow myself one subscription at a time). It taught me that not being able to control my image did not make as much of a difference as I thought it did. As you said about editing your videos, it taught me that there was so much more to me and to the world than what I thought I could control. To say it changed my life is not an overstatement. ButI still want to mindful not to assume that if one lipstick helped, then five lipsticks will help more. But makeup taught me that it’s okay to fail, that it’s more important to try, and that I never had the control I thought I had, and that’s okay. This is why love makeup so much.
I've thought about breaking this down into a longer series, too! There's so much to unpack.
One of the best videos you've ever done. Philosophical, personal, structured, innovative, well spoken and on topic. WOW Hannah, this is a masterpiece! I'll be revisiting this video as it has a larger message. Love love LOVE!
thank you so much, Irene
Having just found your channel I am mesmerized by how you went into this topic, you brought so many proto-thoughts of mine to surface I can only thank you for this video and save it so I can rewatch it time and time again!
What a beautiful essay like discussion about fantasy self that absolutely gave me life.
The control fantasy though. That one hit me in the feels. I do want to write the narrative of how people see me. Recently my very wise younger friend told me that I control a room, and it really struck me, because I thought of myself as aggressive when she said it. And she explained that it had nothing to do with that. It was more that I was the light. The light that kept the room glowing, and that was regardless of looks, but rather because of who I am. What a defining moment for me.
Thanks again for this. You’re the best HLP
I totally believe that you are the light that keeps a room glowing!!!
I have been thinking about similar concepts for so many years and looked for others thoughts about it, but I was mostly disappointed that they didnt go as deep and nuanced as you have. Thank you for taking a dive into this topic like only you can, this was such an interesting video and I hope and think it will be part of a great discussion that will enrich us all.
I relate to this with makeup and clothing. 99% of the time when I buy an item of clothing or makeup it's not for practical reasons, it's because I think it'll make me appear a certain way and usually that means I want to look "cool" or "interesting". For example, I'll look at an item and get caught up in how grungey/edgy it'll make me look and that other people who admire that aesthetic will in turn admire ME.
I also think what you're saying about with the wealth fantasy is so spot on and I see that a lot with other items like handbags too. I worked in a very upscale mall where you could tell that people who could barely pay rent in that increasingly gentrified area were coming in and buying designer items. I think it feeds into the fantasy of upward mobility. If you can't have vacation homes and luxury cars at least you can walk around with a Louis on your wrist. It's so so messed up.
I think in a way I've been using the fantasy of identity projection in the lock down. I've been spending my time pretty much every day to do my makeup in a way that makes me feel like I "look put together", even though no one sees me but my mom most days, but it helps me feel put together. To be more productive (in a healthy way, not an over productivity toxic way), and makes me happier. I feel like I can face the day better because of some concealer and cream blush. I love that power of makeup
I shower and get dressed to feel put together. If I just stay in pajamas it puts me in a funk. The application of makeup for me is just for fun these days. I really just do my eyes and put on highlighter any more though. Interestingly to me, back in March I wasn't even sure I liked highlighter. Now its pretty much my favorite face product. I think it might be because I found Mary Lou Manizer. She's so pretty! I enjoy putting a look together and wearing it throughout my day even if no one sees me. Kind of like wearing fun socks / underwear. No one in the grocery store knows I'm wearing hot pink socks, but it sure puts a spring in my step anyway. :D
this makes so much sense
I love these concept analysis videos. I sometimes think to myself that putting more effort in my looks puts me in better circumstances in life.
Thoroughly enjoyed this topic and especially enjoy looking for the overlap where makeup and fashion (especially fast-fashion) encourage the false promise of the "this is who I need to be today" fantasy/need.
Sidenote: How did your brows make it through the early aughts?
they made it through because in the early aughts I didn't even know that brows were a thing! I didn't even pluck the hairs that grow BETWEEN my brows until 2008. Brow shaping for me started around 2013. #latebloomer
Specifically these kinds of videos in the recent weeks have been such a treat. :) Thank you for exploring more deep going questions as well as the "regular beauty content"! These videos made me think of Autumn Whitefield-Madrano's book "face value", a lot of similar thoughts about the messiness, the good and bad aspects of make up/beauty myths for women. She also debunks a bunch of "science " on beauty, like the studys that want to prove what kind of metrics make a face/body beautiful. Turns out it's manly nonesene with unprofessional studys, that would be immediately and easly discredited if it where in a different field of research.
thanks for the book rec!
@@HannahLouisePoston I really liked it as a companion to "the beauty myth" by Wolf, they go quit nicly togehter. :) I thought a lot about one argument that wolf doesn't speak about but is getting discussed in "face value" is that make up and fashion can also be a great way to bond with other women. Even though it is superficial at first, it is an easy conversation starter and opens up a way of connecting with other. I think this becomes so true for the online beauty community, in which wonderful bonds are created over the initial factor of loving colourful powders.
so much food for thought! I watched three times and WOW, the richmess of this topic and of your discussion!
Girl! I really want this vídeo to go viral
Watching this while getting ready and just as you mentioned the red lipstick, I was applying a red lip for the first time in forever. Thanks for your content!
the part on the behaviours and that they go so much further than your makeup does was beautiful. love your channel!
I relate to so much of what you talked about in this video. Thank you, Hannah! 💜💙💚
I love your bangs but without them is really cute too!
Love this video & the conversation you are starting! My fantasy self is physically healthy and has a casual, simple relationship with makeup, but this hasn't been my "reality self" since I was around 12 years old! You definitely look perfect! I look forward to reading the comments because the majority are generally thoughtful & interesting!
So much of this!
My day to day job, I am the only woman there, or one of very few women. I wear steel toes, safety glasses, hard hat, etc. I don’t get to dress cute, it’s jeans and plaid shirts every single day - so makeup is a way for me to feel more feminine in an overwhelmingly masculine space. It also gives me a chance to be creative. I used to paint sometimes, I have been artistic since I was a child, and I miss making art. Putting together an eye look that coordinates with my flannel shirt, and now also a face mask, is a bright spot in my day. And yes - with long work days and very early morning wake ups, I enjoy that it makes me look more awake, put together for meetings, and a little younger. I’m finding that not using a crease shade ages me - my eyelids sagging is more noticeable than when I deepen my crease and outer corner. I turned 50 this year, my skin has been good for SO long and now it seems it’s hitting a wall and starting to slide. I’ve been fortunate with genetics, and I’ve been trying to take good care of my skin since my early 20’s. I’ve done a lot of work and invested years and money into preventing wrinkles, etc. I’ve never done fillers or Botox, never thought I’d want to and now it’s at the point - I might. It’s expensive though! Skincare a bit at a time is much more affordable.
For a long time all I wore was mascara, and then I’d wear a little shadow, maybe some blush. Now I’ve decided that my makeup is sitting there going bad, waiting for me to use it on weekends - why not wear it during the week too?
I’ve been watching TH-cam beauty videos for a very long time - many of the large influencers were in relatable because of how young they were, how many fillers, etc they used and how unrealistic their looks were for me to attempt. And a lot of it was very “drag” makeup - which is so fun- love love love it - but it didn’t translate to real life.
And then I daydream I’ll somehow end up fabulously wealthy, I can wear flowing loose fitting clothing and feminine shoes, leave my hair down, have all the cosmetic surgery, and spend my days luxuriating around my home, relaxing, reading, entertaining and maybe wear something besides jeans and steel toed boots. 😂🤷🏼♀️
And of course, I have a third comment. I am a HUGE advocate for the exercise of identity projection. I just think you have to get really clear about it and strip away the fantasy. I can't remember if I said this here, yes, I think I did, but I often approach makeup as though I am actually a drag queen or a performer. And sometimes its just a mood. I need to be creative in my professional work (law is way more creative in many ways than people think), so I do very editorial makeup to create a mood to work. But I hugely use it in depositions to alter the way the other side sees me. I'm 43 and a woman but I read as younger than I am. And I 10,000% play that up with makeup and dress. I don't fight it, I encourage it. Because it creates a space where people underestimate me until they realize they should not. I do this because I enjoy celebrating being feminine and being a very feminine lawyer. And I just got exhausted trying to pretend I wasn't (then) a young, blonde, female litigator. So tired of fighting for people to know I am intelligent and capable and talented. So I flipped it. I dress how I dress and I do my makeup to project femininity and an interest in beauty. And if the witness or other attorney interprets that to mean I'm not good at m job well, they will learn I am. I don't have to rail against it. So to some extent, by projecting this identity, I am being my most me self. (And its not like you can't find out 1 million things about my career online in 20 minutes). But I am also projecting an image that is contrary to stereotypes of academic, powerful, experienced, well-read, and so on portions of myself. it's an easy image to see past. Ask me what I am reading or what cases I am trying or what boring things I do for fun. But it works enough that I find it to be an incredibly powerful way of flipping the script in terms of expectations of female litigators. And then sometimes, because of my area of law, I will do the opposite and dress super casually in minimal makeup because that projects a different aspect of my experience as a human and lawyer. But I do not dress or act like a man as I feel so so so so so many female lawyers feel pressured to do. And this works and is empowering because I am honest about it. I know what I am doing and why I am doing it. It doesn't affect how I speak or act, it's just me playing with how people perceive me already and instead of apologizing for it, I use it as an advantage. And thank you for coming to my Ted Talk on makeup for litigators. :-) This is one of my favorite videos this year Hannah. So so good.
"thank you for coming to my Ted Talk on makeup for litigators" LOL! :)
Thank you for your constant introspection, you push me to be a better person 💛
Love your hair, Hannah! Thanks for another thought-providing video 💕
Such a great breakdown. I've been using your idea of the fantasy self for a while to help me understand my impulses. I'm a sucker for the fantasy of perfection, and I get sucked in by the promise of makeup/skincare/whatever solving a problem and bringing me one step closer. It makes me feel "productive" when I'm struggling to get things done.
Also the perfection of application or collection!! Angie Di Battista tells her students to let go of this idea of "the best product". It really opened my eyes to how I consume certain TH-camrs' content.
This video describes-probably much more clearly than I’d explained to myself-something I’ve been challenging myself to do a lot lately with regard to potential purchases...which is to practice acknowledging the reality of myself first...and THEN apply the fantasy of the makeup to see if the relationship is symbiotic. So, for example, I might see a gorgeous lipstick and instantly want it. But I’m challenging myself to remember that such a lipstick would only ever go on my lips. I’m not buying anybody else’s lips. It sounds so stupid to say this aloud! But imagining MY lips...would I still like that lipstick? I think I’m interested in cultivating a healthy relationship between self-acceptance and fanstasy with makeup. Is that a contradiction? I don’t know. ❤️
this makes tons of sense to me. "I'm not buying anyone else's lips." Yes!
THIS PONY TAIL. idk why i love it so much you look so cute!!
I'm not a makeup person but your thoughts are applicable to me in other aspects of my life. I noticed after your video ages ago on the "fantasy self" that a lot of my spending was ruled by this. That would explain all the unread books, unworn clothes and shoes I have. A me in another life would have owned those things
Fantasy and wealth - that’s my problem right now. Buying expensive makeup makes me feel like, in some aspect of my life, I am successful, for being able to buy this expensive thing.
I am terrible with meal planing and budgeting on food. So much goes to waste. You have alluded to how you plan and make meals and I would be so interested in a video on that.
Hannah your ponytail hair is so boss & I love it ❤️
FANTASTIC video! Enlightened, informed and thought provoking. Thank you ❤
I've saved this to my favourite videos, I'll definitely be rewatching!
If I know I have a stressful day coming up at work-a day involving talking to a lot of people and putting myself out there-I spend more time with makeup in the morning. I told my bf it was because makeup felt like armor against their gaze but I’m guessing it’s a blend of makeup as disguise and as a fantasy of embodying a role.
I love the way you touch on how difficult it can be to embrace and express your femininity in this video and the one about shame around make up. Personally, I used to resign very quickly, because I developed this impossible standard that I should look like influencers or celebrities, but without "trying too hard". I'm just starting to enjoy to take care of my appearance and viewing it more as a form of nonverbal communication.
I totally get the fantasy of staying youthful. I was never a makeup wearer in my youth. Wasn't till I turned 30 and thought I should start wearing makeup to "cover up" signs of aging. Now I'm nearly 40 drawers full of makeup. Over the last year or two Ive stopped wearing makeup daily and now think "who cares, why can't I just be me?"
I began wearing makeup around the age of 30 because of the fantasy that I could control the way people perceived me. I'm 4'9" with a baby face and was getting kind of tired of being condescended to constantly as if I were 10 years younger than I actually am (I am 36 now). It was not only fun but also a sort of desperate attempt to be taken more seriously. The truth is that some people treat me completely differently with makeup on and some people treat me the same - it depends on the person. But I now wear makeup for me, not other people. Over the years it has morphed into fun self-care and an artistic expression - something much healthier.
May I just I am living for you with this hairstyle!!!!!
Hannah this was an eye opener, especially on the perception of wealth and fantasy of youth. Thank you. It helped.
Thank you for making this video!!
For me, the fantasy of makeup is of having the most exciting and expensive products. I think like you said this is the fantasy of wealth. I think for me it's because I watched so many youtubers who showed off their collections and the products they had were so "Instagrammable." I just recently realized... NO ONE is coming into my bedroom to admire my fancy candles or lipstick and it doesn't impress the only other person who sees it (my husband!)
I love your bangs but this hairstyle is also very beautiful! I’m not here for the makeup content but for your always so interesting reflections on shopping behaviour in general - and as always I find many aspects also in the makeup content that is relevant for me! That‘s why I don‘t miss any of your videos! Sending you lots of love!
Oh gooooodness, have you hit the nail on the head! When I turned 52, I felt the only way to stave-off the impending doom of losing my youth & fading into the background of society becoming a wilted flower to be scorned by it, was to take fairly extreme measures: so, I decided to train & participate in a figure competition by the end of that year. Yes, my body looked more amazing than it ever had - and people did truly treat me differently, with more respect, I’d say. And, while I enjoyed the process of training and then as the event got closer, the beauty aspect of stage poise & appearance, the actual event didn’t have the personal payoff of accomplishment I’d anticipated, even tho I did come home with a trophy... I don’t know what I’d imagined that payoff would be exactly, but I did enjoy the feeling of confidence I’d gained in working thru my insecurities & persevering to achieve a goal.
Soon thereafter, I was asked to be a fitness instructor at a private golf resort, which sparked the fantasy of feeling accepted & desired by the wealthy in my community.
In one of your earlier videos, I’d posted a comment that I’d since quit that job (after 3 years) due to the stress of trying to “do it all” & “be it all” which we all get caught-up into to some degree.
I write all of this because I now realize that what you’ve indicated for buying beauty products to satisfy fantasy or meet expectations (perceived or recognized) to gain/maintain societal acceptance in the myriad roles we play goes so much deeper than the makeup we wear - it literally molds our life choices. I love this new perspective you’ve given and will be keeping it close as I examine my triggers, choices, etc. Sending you much love & appreciation for the insights you share, and for inspiring me to look deeper💕😘👍🌸
thank you so much for sharing this!!!
Great topic, well-thought out and articulated, as always; thank you for your contribution to the conversation on beauty. My personal makeup fantasies are: the fantasy of natural beauty, and the fantasy of artistry (I have all my palettes depotted to larger palettes, I like sleek pro-mua-like packaging, I mix products..). Thank you for helping me put my finger on that.
The first time I touch make up, I was six years old...It was a mauve lipstick that my mom wear...I found my mom to so pretty with it that I just want to be like her. Makeup came back in my adult life because I need to be feminine and to have some control in my life life. I been very sick. I had breast cancer and I have five kids and wants to look ok for me and for them. I wanted to look normal.It's hard to loose tour hair, your brows and your lashes, to look so pale and to weird skin color because of the chimio. Makeup helps me to get through this harsh journey, it help me put a smile on my face. It felt good. So I'm better now. I survive and I continue to wear makeup and play wirh color...Thank to be you...Your such a beautiful woman and soul... Sophie
I don't ware make up, but I am a human women person, and therefore still incredibly preoccupied by my appearance.
I was never able to make and/or never able to believe that make up would help me with the fantasy of being perfect or beautiful or desirable. Whether I was unsuccessful so I became uninterested, or uninterested and there for never tried enough to be successful with it, I could never make it work. I never feel more beautiful while wearing make up. It always feels like a clumsy lie that does more to highlight my imperfections than cover them up.
I am sometimes critical of what I precive in others as delusion, or a willingness to play into corporate exploitation, but I am so jealous of and impressed by people who have talent and artesty with make up. I feel stupid now for not learning how to use it as a tool because of what you describe in your last points about transformation and identity projection.
I wish I had it as a tool, because whether or not I wear make up I still have a preoccupation with the fantasies of being beautiful, perfect and desired. I would love to use my own power and artesty to dress my self up and beat my face and "feel the fantasy" for the night. That's part of why the idea of "living" and "realness" were created, right? Because it is empowering to live your dream self by crafting a look that begets an attitude that begets the dream. To channel something more powerful and beautiful inside of you. To manifest it, to create it, to let it give you strength or energy or protection. I have no access to that, I'm just the same every day (accept those surprize sometimes when my hair decides to look amazing for no reason and I feel completely UNSTOPPABLE). If I wake up in the morning feeling like I look like shit I have no control at all. I feel I can't do anything in the face (lol pun) of my plainness or unattractiveness or imperfections.
At the same time maybe someone might be jealous of me for my ability to feel more or less complete and presentable without make up on? Most of the time I do have a comfort level with my own skin that I am pretty proud of. Would I tade one for the other? (I am definitely NOT insinuating being comfortable in your own skin and having skill with make up are inherently mutually exclusive.)
Wounderful video. You're last point in particular about editing yourself was something I really needed to hear. It was really beautiful to see the conviction with which you say it.
A thoughtful and thought provoking video. Thank you.
I appreciate your videos so much Hannah
Love your philosophical videos!
I’m admiring your beauty as you speak. Please do a video showing how you did your makeup and hair today. So casually chic. So enchanting, so gorgeous 😍
Another fantasy that I think can come up for youtube watchers in parasocial relationships is the fantasy of belonging. I see this the most on IG and Twitter and on a couple of channels as they newly start. But people who buy EVERY influencer collab and launch. The J* star people I think fell into this. This idea that if I buy enough makeup from influencers or channels I like that the influencer will like me and be my friend and feel for me what I might feel for him and her when I watch them. This is one that doesn't affect me, but I can see that it would have affected me at a different stage in my life (I have the tati beauty palette, which i have literally half panned and Sam's Ofra collab, which I use all the time, and have panned the gloss, but given away the liquid lipstick, and that's it). But watching people on twitter around the tati palette and the conspiracy palette and their fantasy of being in a relationship with the creators felt bad to me in a way that made me take a LONG break from twitter. And in many ways it can be positive. I value my microcommunities and chats with influencers. But I know that buying their eyeshadows doesnt mean we are going to suddenly have a zoom chat and wine night and braid each other's hair. I'm not sure other people know that or are able to see through the fantasy enough to know it.
so interesting!! excellent point!
The fantasy of wealth 🤯. Was just saying on my channel that I love the nd shadows because they make me feel special (really I mean they are expensive and I loved that I owned such an expensive item). And you are so right in saying that expensive makeup does not reach the level of expense in other areas and is therefore easier with which to demonstrate “wealth.” What I struggle with is the fact that I love some of my other less expensive palettes more but they do not evoke the same feeling because they don’t tap into what you have so eloquently identified. Must ponder for hours... Don’t get me started on the fantasy of youth!! Could write essays based on what you bring up on your channel! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Your hair looks good! I don't know how to put my hair in a ponytail lol.
Yassssss. Love this exploration
I so agree about photoshop fueling the desire to look perfect. I’ll be 67in September and I love the way I look. I look like a 67 year old woman and I refuse to photoshop or filter my IG posts. I think feeling wealthy from wearing makeup must be generational. I’ve never worn or purchased makeup with the feeling that it would make me appear or even feel wealthy. I love this discussion!
Very interesting topic for discussion. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed your video.
Such excellent and very true thoughts....thank you.