Questioning Gender Identity w/ Ash Hardell | Ahsante the Artist
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ค. 2024
- Chatting about questioning gender and trans non binary identity with Ash Hardell !
Check out our video on Ash's channel: • When A TH-camr Thinks...
❯❯ Got Questions??? Check the FAQs: www.ahsantetheartist.com/faq/ ❯❯ Video notes below! ↓↓↓
Ash Hardell on the Interwebs:
TH-cam: / heythere005
Twitter: / ashhardell
Insta: / ashhardell
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
👉🏾 Found this video valuable?
☕️ Buy me a coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/ahsanteb
🤝 Support on Patreon: / ahsantetheartist
Find me on the socials!
❯ 📸 Instagram: / ahsanteb
❯ 💬 Twitter: / ahsanteb
💌 Join my Growth In Progress newsletter to get my personal life lessons: www.ahsantetheartist.com/subsc...
❓❓ Got Questions? Check my FAQs: www.ahsantetheartist.com/faq/
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Thank you so much to my Patreon Patrons:
Melissa, Cole Patterson, Kelley O'Neill, Garrett Robinson, Dara Bean, Kimberly L. Session, Cea Stapleton Cordasco, Kathy Trithardt, iNickel, Gillian Stephenson, Jamie Hand, CheersKevin, Maya Martin-Udry, Lee Ozanne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So pumped to have Ash Hardell my channel! We talk about how Ash discovered their gender identity, discuss the labels non binary, genderqueer, gender non conforming. We also talk about dysphoria unique to be trans and nonbinary.
I really love Ash's work around lgbt+ issues - they've been influential in me learning and coming into my own. Thanks Ash!
Ash's Video Coming Out as Confused: • Video
The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org/
Watch More:
How to be a Better Ally: • How to Be a Good Ally ...
Why I Went mostly Vegan: • Vegan (ish): Why I Wen...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey! I'm Ahsante the Artist :) I make vlogs and short films about culture, social issues and justice, Harvard college, how to adult as a post grad, and what's going on with me. I strive to live spiritedly and think creatively. I hope you join me!
Ahsante! It was so nice to watch this back! Felt like we were hanging out again, I miss you cool human :)
Also I felt liked I talked SO much in this, sorry if I dominated this conversation blerp blerp 😜 😜😜
Miss you too Ash - you're amazing! I really love how this turned out, I'm glad you're so willing to share! We had such great convos :)
Ash Hardell Thank you, Ash, for being the role model I need.
Ash, you should start an LGBT center in Minneapolis!
honestly I love that ash talks about being afraid to say anything cuz it feels like a commitment
Definetely yes to "being questioning is hard". Even coming to terms to being questioning / being in this weird state where you don't know has been so so hard because it is so much more comfortable to stay in the "default" cis / straight space. Anyways, if you're questioning, just know I support you :)
^^^
Thank you, it feels horrible. I never thought about my gender like this before I started questioning, I didn’t feel uncomfortable with my gender before this.
I definitely wish it was more normalized to not know what your gender is and be questioning because when i was questioning i was afraid to tell anyone out of fear of them expecting me to come to a certain realization and i end up realizing im cis and i have come to the realization that i am in fact cis but i do wish i couldve had someone to talk to when i was questioning
Gender is so confusing and Ash's story is so like mine it's crazy tbh. Loved this video and Ash's video about asexual questioning, it's important to spread information about these two things seeing as they're the most ignored parts of LGBT+ community in my opinion. I'm constantly questioning my sexuality honestly it's nice to know that people can relate to my story ♡♡
It's not confusing its boy and girl nothing confusing about it
Yay! Two amazing humans together! I'm a queer cis guy, but I have recently been questioning if I am 100% cis, much like Ash said. I think I'll need to re-read their book and see if I can find a term that I like! (Last time I read it, I wasn't questioning at all, I just wanted to learn stuff. So maybe this time, something will pop out at me.)
TWO OF MY FAVOURITE HUMANS IN ONE VIDEO!!! HAPPINESS!!!!
WHOOHOOO!
This video is really helpful, thank you. I definitely agree w the fear of questioning and what if i realize i am cis. But we should all have the ability to explore and learn ourselves without shame
This is such a lovely set of collabs! Love you both.
Thank you, Lauren! Love you too!
I've considered myself genderconfused for about ten months now. im only sixteen so it can be hard to know for sure or feel like i have the right to know for sure. the thing that convinced me that i wasn't cis was my girlfriend at the time telling me that she liked it when I dressed more feminine and she wanted to be dating a girl. my internal reaction to that was so negative because i felt like i was really being pushed into a box that i had never really realized i wasn't comfy being all the way in before. then i started noticing that lots of gendered words feel really gross to me, like man, woman, lady, him, her, he, ma'am. all that stuff feels so icky on me, i just want to not have any of that. but agender feels so committed to one thing and im so scared of the people around me rolling their eyes and not taking me seriously, it would be horrible to go through all that and then admit that im not really serious. Im just very unssure. i wanna know but i think it will just take time so im just toughing it out through the rough patch until i have some revelation.
Yeah i know the feeling, I'm 18 and I've been questioning for almost a year now. Same as you kinda, when i cut my hair and started to try and be me regardless of others expectations i realised i never felt comfy with myself either. I keep doubting myself but I don't think I can keep living as female
This video has been so fucking helpful to me... Questioning is so difficult. I'm about to have a conversation with my queer friends about how I'm questioning. It makes me feel better that this group will be accepting of me, but it's still super scary because I feel like I'm commiting to something. I relate so much to Ash and the things that they had to say. I hate not being able to automatically know what I am, but I'm working on trying to understand myself. I know my family will not be happy with the route I'm going but I need to be me and express who I am and how I am. Thanks so much for being open and sharing these things with us. You have been so helpful to me and lots of others ❣️
props (and congrats!) to both of you on talking openly about your experiences with questioning, something that (as pointing out in the video) not a lot of people are willing to do on TH-cam or in general. sexuality, gender-- life in general is really complicated and it can be really hard to put oneself out there on such a huge platform and admit that you're not sure about something about yourself. the lack of role models or even peers who are questioning on TH-cam is something that i hope will change in the future, but thanks to both of you, i'm fairly certain now that it will. :) best wishes to both of you on your journey, wherever it does (or doesn't!) take you.
So one thing that I struggle with when it comes to my gender questioning, is I feel like I HAVE to pick one specific label, that I can't stay questioning or use more than one label at a time. And, rationally, I think that's a harmful way to think but I can't help it.
Hey your birth name is melissa? So is mine. And yeah, same about feeling the need to pick ONE label and stick with that for the rest of your life. I've been questioning my gender and going back and forth between labels for years now and none of them fit! They all seem to fit me for a couple days or months until i seem to outgrow them somehow.
@@eminemele1531 actually my name is May Liss, Melis is just a nickname (it means powdered sugar in Norwegian!)
That comment was pretty old and since then I've stopped trying to find a specific label in that way. I just identify as non-binary and can go more into depth if it's relevant. Cuz my gender is too fluctuating and abstract for me to specify it with one word, so it's better to just use an umbrella term together with descriptive language!
Videos every Thursday? exciting!
We Out Here!
Hey! I found you through Ash's channel, and just wanted to say that I'm also ace and Ash's videos really helped me figure out myself and feel less alone, and now you're video has also made me feel less alone, so really just thank you for sharing and I hope you have an awesome day.
+Clara Piazzola Yeah, Ash's Ace series REALLY helped me in figuring myself out. Thank you!
I am currently questioning and having a lot of trouble with it but this made me feel great! 💖☺️
That means you confuse
for about six months ive been questioning my gender and wondering if im genderfluid, but for about a week or so ive been thinking i might be trans, or at least masculine nonbinary/a similar label.
for months ive really, really liked the idea of being a guy, to the point where ive had dreams about it. ive tried behaving more like a guy, too, and i ended up liking it. ive been feeling grossed out by the more _feminine qualities_ of my body, especially my chest; when i see it i get nauseous and generally uncomfortable. i dont think its really a phase because its been bothering me to the point where ive been crying and even had a small anxiety attack yesterday.
but despite all the evidence, im still having so much trouble convincing myself that its actually possible. nothing big has ever happened in my life; why would something as big as being _transgender_ happen to _me?_ what if it is just a weird phase? why didnt tgese feelings start until now? does it mean im just being stupid?
i talked to my friend about it and she was completely understanding, even asking which pronouns i felt better about. the weird thing is, i dont absolutely _hate_ having female pronouns, but it does feel a little weird. i like the male pronouns, and they feel a little weird too, but just at first. is it normal to be like that? like, it takes me a few seconds or so to get used to male pronouns, especially when someone else is referring to me with them.
one idea i had is that maybe i just look too feminine. i look in the mirror and i see my long hair and biggish chest and find it difficult to associate that with different pronouns.
ive tried neutral pronouns, and im relatively fine with them, but it still doesnt feel right.
i wish i could just stop thinking about it; it makes me so exhausted and frustrated. i wish this gender questioning stuff were easier.
I relate to this SO much. You are not alone. I've just began questioning and it's really scary. I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is completely normal and there are a lot of people who feel the same way. You're not weird, nothing about this is weird. Others have gone through the same thing. Whatever happens, you'll eventually find something to stick with and figure out what you're completely comfortable with. Do not feel pressured to come to a conclusion super fast. Take your time. It takes time to figure yourself out. I know this comment was from a month ago but it's one of the more recent comments I've come across and I wanted to say something because I relate to how you're feeling and it makes me feel less alone that you've shared your story as well. So thank you for that, stranger. I appreciate it.
Omfg SAME!!! For the past year I’ve been questioning here and there about my gender. I ended up coming out that I was questioning but quickly regretted it because my family kind of mocked me for it and didn’t understand so I quickly went back into the closet and repressed any feelings that I had and convinced myself that I was cis. And for awhile I thought I was but I still found myself looking at guys and thinking, “wow I wish I liked that.” But lately those feelings have intensified to the point where I had a panic attack about my gender and cried about it a couple of times. And I’ve fallen into depressive episode a little bit because I don’t have many people I can talk to about this. I wish gender questioning was so much easier. Sometimes I really wish I was born a boy and had a flat chest and short hair. And other times I’m fine being a girl and don’t totally hate. And other times I don’t want to be anything and just live as a person. I think I might be genderfluid? But part of me is afraid of admitting that to myself because if I am, I don’t think I could find anyone who loves me and accepts me just because of the things I hear people say about members of the LGBTQ+ community. And the judgment I’ve faced about liking girls. My older is also really transphobic and if I was genderfluid than there’s a good chance that would ruin our relationship and cause a rift in the family. It feels like I have to repress these feelings even more now that they’re back…
Ahhh omg! I just came from Ash's channel and I think I'm really gonna enjoy your videos!
I'm so glad you and Ash collaborated! Two of my favorite TH-camrs
Yayyyy! Thanks!
AWW i love you two humans!!! so glad you got to collab. For me, Ash has been one of those role models that they felt were kinda absent in their search for other questioning queer people. Glad to have people speak openly about this stuff!
That's what I was thinking - in my mind Ash is that role model type person for thinking about lgbt+ issues and finding your identity within them. Thanks, Pat!
Im worried that im actually cis and that im just faking not bring cis because i think its taken far too little time for me to be like hmm maybe im genderfluid (im not sure if i am tho but like yeah) *its literally only been like a day* and also im okay with she/her and i dont mind my chest that much but when i look flat it makes me far happier and ive asked my friends to use they/them and he/him when referring to me and to just like experiment with that but they havent actually used any pronouns for me at all yet, unless they used she/her and i didnt notice because im so used to it lmao
I'm in the same boat and I feel very similarly to what you and Ash described. Thanks for sharing. Much like this video, it made me feel a lot less alone :)
I have the same struggle rn
This helps a lot because I’m currently questioning if I’m trans
I used to hate my hair in the same way i didn't "hide it away" but i felt like it was the only thing people saw about me. Then recently i cut off 10 inches! I was terrified! Mostly because i thought i might hate it more and this would cause more attention to be on my hair. But, when I did cut my hair i felt sooooo good. It was like my dysphoria was cut off with my hair. And the weight of it was gone (literally and figuratively).
Im currently questioning and this video helped me alot, thanks. This was a very reassuring interview:) I am planning on talking about it with one of my best friends today and this gave me an extra push to just feel more relaxed about it today!
This is a really lovely collab.
(to ash) It's so great you collab with smaller youtubers
Wonderful video! I love Ash!
Thanks to you two wonderful humans TH-cam is a helpful resource for me! :)
this was AMAZING
Great video!
This is super interesting!
I've been questioning my gender for a couple years now and still haven't found ONE specific label or term that fits me. I think I might just be genderqueer or genderfluid or nonbinary. I feel like all and every gender mashed and swirled up into one body. I think I like she/they/he. I feel masculine and feminine and androgynous.
this was REALLY helpful for someone like me. I relate to what Ash is saying a ton. almost all the points were practically coming out of my brain. but now I have a word, gender non conforming. i don't know where I'm going (like most of my comments on TH-cam) BUT THANK YOU
Ashante you ask such amazing questions!
Ah! Thank you so much :)
Great video! :D
Identity is confusing, thanks for sharing your experience :)
Interesting video! :) I was really not expecting Ash to be your guest - I didn't know Ash... and I will search her work now :) + the topic was such an interesting one to add to ''Ashante videos' list'' + I kinda have been inconsciously manifesting some interest on this issue, just to learn more about it, but I never got to search anything deeply , and then you come up with this! Just so awesome! :D
Hooray! You might also be interested in a few videos I did on intersectionality a while back. One features my friend Reed (illrollwithit) who talks about his experiences as a trans guy :)
Ahsante the Artist Awesome! I will check them out. Thanks :)
here from ash's channel :-) i love your channel already
Hooray! Thanks!
HOLY CRAP MY TWO FAV PEOPLE HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS!
Whoop whoop!
Mmm nice binder ash!! Lol (coming from their channel!!!)
best video about this issue
Cool video folks
I was wondering if the ash 12 was any good in real life.
Straight friends! Aha... what straight friends.
I love this video, Ash is one cool human and so are you! Only just found your channel but I love it! I'm a small bisexual TH-camr and I've recently discovered that I am non-binary which is cool! Subscribed to your channel :) if you got a chance to check out mine that'd be fab but no worries if not! More collabs with Ash please!!! x