Being an Introvert in a Corporate World - What I Learned
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มิ.ย. 2024
- When I was planning some of our previous career-related videos, it occurred to me that navigating the corporate world is a different experience for people who are introverted. In this video, I share my experience growing up and becoming a lawyer as someone who is (and has always been) introverted, as well as some of the things that I've learned along the way.
An interesting book on introversion that helped me understand my thoughts for this video:
www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-In...
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Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:10 What Do I Mean By "Introvert"?
2:31 From Childhood to Career
7:06 Tip No. 1
8:03 Tip No. 2
9:37 Tip No. 3
Credits to the following videos for footage of the US in the early and mid-1900s:
• Video
• Growing up in the 1950s
As an introverted educator I can totally relate. Educational fads over the last 20 years have placed more emphasis on making students extroverted by valuing group work, group discussion and group presentations. Yet, when any teacher thinks of their most academic student, it is usually the student who is more reserved, thoughtful and gets on with the tasks independently - the introverts.
I'm not an introvert. I'm simply sick of toxic office politics and fake banters with fake people along with the sheep mentality of constantly struggling to "fit in"
That's a really good point. I always assumed that people who are more extroverted are just fine with that type of thing like the fake banter. At the end of the day, I suppose, the introvert/extrovert thing is more of a spectrum than an either/or.
You make a very good point and I really appreciate your comment. I’ve been told I’m an ambivert. If I feel comfortable in space, meaning that people around me are honest and genuine, my extroverted side comes out. If I feel that the people around me are fake and manipulative, my introverted side naturally comes out. I am currently self preserving and learning disassociation and detachment to survive at work now. I’ve been told I’m too quiet by one higher up yet other higher ups beg to differ.
Facts
I am also an introvert. I just switched jobs this week, I was pretty freaked out when I received numerous invitations to join self-introduction sessions with new colleagues via video conference. As an Asian, I was nervous because I had to talk my new colleagues who are mostly from European countries.
I am also a junior dispute lawyer and I hate talking with people. I would rather close the door and work all day and not talk to people. I need to write an outline before calling people and be very prepared before even very simple hearings. Nice knowing sb is same as me.
People say I am quiet but I am just not interested in talking to idiots. - The Introvert
As someone who has always feared sharing a lift with partners / felt pressurised to join friday drinks (and end up feeling even more drained thinking about it over the weekend if I let slip something "stupid"), I've always been too embarrassed to admit that I would google conversation starters 😂 Lawyers are often perceived as extroverts and confident public speakers, and I have spent years since law school doubting myself...so thanks for putting things into perspective!
Omg I have totally also googled conversation starters 🤣 great to hear your experience and thanks for sharing!
I am a fellow attorney (personal injury) and I can definitely relate. Just had a senior attorney here lecture me that I need to get out more and network.... the struggle is real
Thanks so much for sharing this - we don't usually talk about these struggles and it is so encouraging to hear that I'm not alone! :)
Really happy to hear that! ☺️
Thanks for sharing. I find that one's childhood and cultural factors can affect our actions. Psychology studies show that the first seven years of our life give us the 'programs' which affect the way we act (attachment patterns, etc). The good thing is we can unlearn a lot of things (takes time😮). For example, don't censor your thoughts, feelings and words. And gradually you build the " speak up, say what's on your mind" muscle. 🎉
I'm an infp too. I feel you..
We may not talk much but we feel so much inside!
I am an INFJ and I can relate, though I like being around from people.
I like the way you speak confidently and logically. Can you share more on your thought process on approaching confusing questions in life?
Thank you ☺️ That's a great suggestion, will definitely consider making a video on that down the road!
@@EmandLloyd Can you tell us more about your past? Really want to know more about you. By the way, I like your clothing today.
Great video and great advice! Looking forward to see more
Thanks for sharing and thanks for the good tips as well!
I feel very understood, thanks for the video 🥺 it's hard sometimes because my husband is an extrovert and had tendencies to call me "selfish". It's difficult for him to understand that it's not the people themselves, it's my battery. But he's getting there :)
I’m so glad this is a common feeling. I just started working as a paralegal (almost finished law school) and have been thinking about whether I’m going to struggle in this career because I’m so introverted.
I like to be alone and the long office days in other peoples company feels like it’s too much for me. This is despite the fact I worked in retail for years. I guess it will just take time to adjust.
Even in my thirties colleagues would find it odd that I go for a walk or have lunch alone. There must be many introverts who simply comply to social norms and even try to force those norms on others.
Anyway I've kind of regressed, have to start at a lower bar. I think it's harder as an older male to be introverted in a new job.
Thank you for ur sincere sharing. As an introvert, ur tips are very useful in understanding more about myself and helping me to cope with the working environment which tends to favour extroverts more. Looking forward to more of ur sharing !!
Being an introvert, I also like spending time alone or with my lovely friends and family. I don’t like large parties but I like to have some small gatherings with my best friends. Love your video. Keep it up!
Thanks for sharing your own experience!
This video resonates with me soooo much!!! Just watching it is draining!
Thanks for the useful tips :)
Thank you so much for the video! As a relatively introverted person myself, I can totally relate! I'm working at a big firm and having trouble connecting with people. I know it's not really a problem and I just need more time to do all the social things and recover afterwards. Have learnt a lot from this one and I will develop my way for social activities.
I always thought introverts had it made in professional services (I used to be in law, also). Being loud and bubbly myself, I always felt like colleagues never took me seriously, and didn't respect me, just because of my extroverted personality. Acquaintances could not seem to comprehend that a lawyer could have a personality, and was not quiet, calm and reserved. Colleagues seemed to listen to and treat better, the reserved people who barely spoke. So it's interesting seeing the other side to this!
That's really interesting to hear! I guess it goes to show how different our individual experiences can be - appreciate hearing your perspective and thanks for sharing ☺️
Not really. Introverts attract bullies and people who think being reserved = different = bad = or even, doesn't like me/stuck up and think they can mess with you. Socializing saps the energy out of me. This video is very helpful.
Are you implying by "having a personality" that introverts don't have a personality?
Being quiet and calm does not equate to not having a personality…
Introversion doesn’t necessarily equal being reserved. Being an introvert just means you get drained rather than recharged from being around people and socialising. I’m a pretty bubbly and loud introvert whereas my sibling going into law is more “reserved”. I am not quiet and find being in those environments difficult and agree people don’t respect those who are bubbly.
OMG, so happy to have found your channel! Suddenly I have this realization that Japan is a society that introverts will enjoy more! Extroverts will probably enjoy their life more in countries like America!
I'm a lawyer in Vietnam, I'm introverted (INFJ) and I have to admit that the time when I enjoy the most comfortable environment is when I was working at a Japanese law firm in Vietnam. The interaction must follow strict set of rules and principles so it leaves very little for small talks or office politics, not to mention drinks or networking outside working time, which I fear the most. At the same time, I also sit in a small room with some close colleagues to chat and share things comfortably when I want to. Perfect for an introvert who also love to talk deep and being bubbly at times.
Thanks for sharing Emily. Meaningful content and a really slick video!
Thanks a lot Julian! Hope you're doing well 😊
I dislike that people favour extroverts more in the business world. As an introvert in a cooperate environment, we tend to be more observant, attentive and calm.
Working (or maybe surviving) at a big firm in Korea as a paralegal, I can totally relate to this! Thanks for your great video, so enjoyable to watch!
I can go days with out talking to people and just being by my self. And I also enjoy going out talk to people. It just amazes me. I been by my self the last 8 days by my self
Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you for sharing, finished, helpful
Great content! I classify myself as an introvert, but somehow opportunity brought me into a client facing role and been working for 5 years. At the beginning, it was very uncomfortable for myself to interact with all kinds of people for 8-9 hours a day, but gradually I worked out a balance and set some boundaries for myself to recharge from time to time. However, if I get to change my job/career in the future, I would prefer to have a job that require less interaction with people, it's just better for my mental health in general...haha
Thanks for sharing - sounds a lot like my own experience!
Hi there, I am an introvert too and am struggling to adapt to a corporate world, can you give me some tips on how you managed it since years?
Like the person below, I am an introverted educator. Other than teaching my classes I do not like social events and find them absolutely draining. Your advise is very wise and well presented. You are a good lawyer and a good teacher, Em!
Great content.
Would love a video on all your conversation skill development and suggestions. As an introvert, your convo prep cheat sheet sounds like it would improve my mindset and emotions before going out
Definitely something we will keep in mind!
As an introvert myself, this is so relatable & helpful
Thanks for sharing, it seems that legal practitioners, including myself tend to be introvert enjoying alone time. Though, most of the companies or firms encourage social interaction among staffs which increase extra burden on introverts. I am glad that I can have a break from now on. 🙏🏻💕
I started watching your TH-cam channel a couple of weeks ago. This is something unexpected that you are actually an introvert, but you are making TH-cam videos. I did came across a few TH-camrs who classified themselves as introverts though.
Love this ❤️
Em, carry on with what you are doing!!! You speak deep truth & new. Just subscribe gladly.
I always think to myself “how do people get energy from parties/big gatherings?” But then I’m sure extroverts think “why doesn’t this give her energy?”
my husband has a hard time understanding why I'm tired after 4-5h socializising "it's just talking" 😅 and I don't get how he could NOT be tired after that 😂
Good video. I'm also a introvert person. It took me many years to learn to handle this - i always was thinking something is wrong with me. I just happy now. I'm leaving in the country side , because the city centre was just stressful for me. And I work a lot remote (3-4 days per week). This is a perfect setup for me.
I go to the PP bathrooms all the time too; but more because the Admiralty Centre bathrooms insist on feces overflows.
Having an office and a home with only myself is definitely a huge plus. Another great video!
Thanks Lydia! And yes, fortunately the fecal matter generally stays in the toilet bowls in the PP bathrooms 😂
Thank you for the video. I can relate to this topic as I am an introvert myself. It is hard for me to meet new people or start small talk.. I even hate small talks it is a waste of time to me! :D I always need "my time" to recharge my energy.
I think nowadays there is not a friendly working environment for introverts. Luckily I got my own office so I can be alone and work without being disturbed.
thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. At one point, you mentioned not feeling comfortable to speak up in front of lots of people at first. From the practice, certainly you become more used to doing that, but what I see in you is that, you just have that confidence when expressing your thoughts, which does make a difference (and is something i hope to learn). Would it be possible to give us some tips on how to be more confident?
Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say ☺️ It’s also interesting to hear that as I’ve never really expressly thought of myself as confident - I suspect it comes across this way given the amount of practice we put into talking on camera and the preparation we do before filming our videos (ie research, considering the topic, etc.) Will definitely have a think about this topic!
This is totally related. Me, as an ambivert working as a headhunter that need to deal with a lot of people everyday really drained my energy. So setting boundaries and alone time or even lock myself in the phone booth for an hour does help me destress and increase productivity. We just need to recharge !
Great video (as always) and thanks for sharing! As an extrovert myself, it’s always interesting to hear how introverts are wired quite differently to myself. It was something I only came to understand with some age and speaking to my introverted friends. Keep up the great work!
Thanks so much, Brian! For sure - Lloyd is more of an extrovert himself, so it was a great experience making this video and highlighting some of our differences. It always helps to understand ourselves, and others, a bit more 😊
Thanks so much for sharing! I am not in law but my job does require me to do a lot of socializing and as an introvert myself I can totally relate to you. Very helpful tip about doing some research or coming up with a few questions beforehand. I also hate running into colleagues in the elevator so I’ll def try that out!! Would be really nice if you could organise some coffee or get together with all your introverted followers who live in hk so we can all share our experiences and learn! :)) keep up the good work!
I've watched a few of your videos and have decided to subscribe to your channel. As a UK person living in Asia, I can only thank you for giving us a glimpse in to the high society life of a Hong Kong resident. Most of what we see on TH-cam are people living in shoeboxes under squalid conditions due to the highly inflated housing market.
Do all people in HK have American accents? I know you grew up int he US, but your fella also has an American accent. Just curous because HK was a former British colony and all... Also surprised that the legal system still follows the UK way, you said you did it after "high school" - this term is only used in London and we actually have secondary schools. So I guess the whole UK educational system was thrown out when China took the reins in favour of a more American system.
I find it very admirable, that not only you leave your job but also your profession to pursue your own dreams and do something better suited to your character. As an introvert myself, I found the best person to work for was myself. And that has made me somewhat successful. I hope it works out for you. You are really beautiful by the way.
I recently discovered your channel. It's informative yet fun to watch. You ask to suggest topics. How about the dating scene in HK and how you guys met? 😄😄
We’ve been getting this request a lot! Will consider it for sure :)
Thanks for the tips, I have also taken the test and am INTJ ( Architect )
I have a Masters Degree in Law but I can never work in a corporate world.. especially in a legal world where everyone wants to challenge you .. every conversation turns into an argument or “discussions”..I find that very tiring.. I don’t need that
I’m currently struggling with this, I have a masters in software engineering but I don’t want to work in tech or have anything to do with the corporate world.
@@susantuboku-metzger680 im currently finishing my degree in an engineering field too and after experiencing some of the work environments i really started to dislike it and the idea that i have to find a job like that.. 😔 even university was a struggle for me at times, when everyone else was making connections but i just prefer to study on my own and go my own ways...
I'm also an introverted lawyer and I tend to avoid social interaction where I can. It's hard to avoid it completely, because talking to clients is an inevitable part of the job, but I also know that if I don't take promotions and remain as a junior/Associate level lawyer, there will be less of an expectation on me to attend client social events which definitely make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I would not apply to jobs in which there is an expectation for me to undertake networking or business development. The way I see it, my job isn't to attend social events, it is to work on the various matters on which I am tasked, and then go home. I value my time away from the office in which I will usually spend by myself.
Nevertheless, I cannot completely avoid social interaction in a professional office environment, so I appreciate your tips on how to deal with having to interact with people you don't know. I will endeavour to take it on board.
You are not the first lawyer quiting their career, there are thousand of lawyers in Australia did the same thing. It much easier to study become a lawyer than working as lawyer.
You are OUT HERE on TH-cam !!! What are you talking about?
I like your video. I do find it interesting that there seem to be quite a few people who identify more as "introverts" who have TH-cam channels. I get it the you are not directly interacting with others when you produce the content (film, edit, etc) but the comments section of any video I would imagine could be stressful for an introvert and there is definitely interaction with others in that, albeit not in person. All this to say: I think the comments section would not be pleasant for an introvert content creator.
Appreciate your thoughtful comment, which quite accurately summarizes the parts of doing TH-cam that I find less stressful and more stressful! At the end of the day I think it just comes down to learning to manage the latter, since interacting with others in some form or another is necessary for a lot of things in life.
Thank you for sharing, I totally agree. I identify as an introvert and, until recently, there were 30+ people who reported to me at work. Now it's a smaller group of under 10. When it was the larger group what I found more stressful were meetings involving everyone; but the 1 on 1 meetings were fine with or even the smaller team meetings.
Cool ❤
I also prep for meeting new people/citations! I haven't yet been to a networking event however, and I'm unsure of the etiquette to stay in touch with someone after you've met them - is adding them on Linkedin and engaging in their posts with the odd like/comment enough? I'm sure one's own personal reason for networking has a large part in how/why to stay in touch (conditions like if you'll see them at other events too), but a follow up guide on how you best made use of networking and contacts would be interesting and useful if you had the time, and beneficial for professions outside of law too!
Tip 1 for me: Go to outside of office and sit at the staircase, very slient.
Tip 2 for me: Dont prepare for sitiuation because usually things doesnt go according to what I prepared for and things does not happen for what I prepared for then I get panic attack :P so I just try to clam myself by saying keep peace and love in my heart.
You're perfect just the way you're! No need to be fixed. Haha I like that you inserting "Suits" clips here and there.
I'm commenting to give you more energy than you put out. You got this, Em and Lloyd!
Where in the US did you grow up, if you don't mind me asking? SF/NYC?
Off topic, would you and Lloyd leave HK to move to the US/UK?
Thanks Aidan! Appreciate all the love on our videos 😊 Em grew up on the West Coast. And we're thinking of staying put in HK for now, though we do both have family in the US.
@@EmandLloyd HK is not as "such" as some outsiders may have thought. News media really have exerted significant influence.
By the way, I used to be v introvert, shy and lack of confidence. That was until I got into University (in HK). The hall life saved me. After so many years have passed, I can still remember how enjoyable it was - I simply loved interaction with the hallmates.
And by by the way😆, I'm a corporate lawyer who left the field some 7 years ago, now enjoying early retirement life. I share how you feel.
Thank you so much for your video....
Any video about female discrimination or any other discrimination you observed such as sexuality in HK? I am interested because last year in Australia there was a huge shift/focus in this issue.
As a becoming lawyer I have a question, how do you manage not being the J type on the mbti? As a ISFP or INFP I struggle a lot with organizing and getting things done. I loved the video
Generally speaking, a lot of it was just developing habits over time to address things I struggled with! For me, I found it helpful to keep a running to-do list (which I made a habit of updating every morning) and a calendar containing both hard and soft deadlines for work.
As an introvert, understood that u must pay lots of effort and energy to deal with the world. I do like to take a walk after lunch and go office in the last minute. /o/
muy bien todo tranqui 😃
I’m an introverted Asian, how did you manage getting work and asking for work? I just started big law in a central staffing system, and I haven’t been getting much work compared to others. Do you think I am not getting work because I am not being very proactive? Are there any tips on introverted people to survive in big law?
Are you going to do q and a for 10k
Congratulations ~
Yes we are planning to! Will make a community post soon :)
Wow you’re an INTP??? subscribed.
Unfortunately most corporates evaluates you more on your socializing capability than your skills
that's what happened to me. I didn't receive a return offer after my internship because apparently there wasn't a good fit, basically a personality fit
If I pretend to be an extrovert, coworkers expect me to be always on... If I keep to myself, people try to get me out of my shell or become hostile. I'll try something in between but I don't really know how yet
I feel thiss soo much
right now im new to the corporate world and i have just started new job.
In general idont like people and i need some time to recharge my energy and feel dragged when i communicate to much with people
In general im the person who remember everything about other people whom i talk and that takes alots of space in my mind and drown me emotionally
I Studied business and i dont want to capture everyone thought around me they keep sharing their personal life and everything and i remember every detail of another person so at the end of the day when i go back home i feel like im.loosing myself somewhere what should i do
I need suggestions?
what’s the name of the background song?
If you studied finance but HATE the cooperate office world and office politics what should you do. I enjoy investigation kind of work.
I did enjoy compliance kind of work that I did kinda enjoy.
I'm creative and mix of introvert n extrovert.
What other career aspects?
Wish there were youtubers who were explaining how difficult life is for Shy, sensitive 😔 Extroverts too especially when they can't say No.
奇 怪 . . . . . . .
這麼棒的 頻道 . . . .
怎麼 才 一萬多 訂閱人數 . . . . . . ? ?
Finally a chanel where you do not introduce introvert as a shy, anxiety, suffering person.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I like to hang out with 1 person at the time, big party is stressful because the need to small talk, it bored me.
I went to the disco today. Am I am introvert or extrovert?
Me too, I am introvert as well lol......so which states did you study in?
California!
@@EmandLloyd Nice!!!! Await your next video on your upcoming plans I guess, have a lovely Easter 🐣 ahead of you!!!!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You must be an INTJ or INFJ...
Correction: it's surprising that your words are so articulate and coherent, for an INTP. We are all over the place in our heads. Analysis paralysis.
Thank-you for your content, helps me navigate myself being an INTP.
In corporate, they expect new joiner to ask lot of questions to existing experienced employees, but because new joinee is introvert and shy and has fear and infiriority complex, he keeps quite, hoping things will change tomorrow, but that tomorrow never comes and employer notices that there is zero productivity and entire probation period got over, so employer terminates. onboarding of new joinee is not configured correctly and there is family of 4 or 8 on which such introvert has to take care of, and all becomes helpless in the family. how to get rid of this fear of people?
within the friendly community and juniours , this introvert leads the talk and talks confidently. if i want to answer this question my self, then it is just the pinnacle of success in terms of knowledge and understanding of subject will lead to success and although person is introvert , others will approach him to solve the problems which they face in their day to day job.
why i don't see the upload date😂
Hong Kong society has a much higher appreciation and sense of cooperation between personalities and archetypes. It's truly diverse unlike the US, 7 skin colours but 2 personalities vs HK 3 skin colours but 8 personalities etc. Naturally, we think dialectically instead of binary and linear like the US mindset. We understand coexisting, we understand what complimentary means.
我家人係都係中環工作,做會計師,日日收10點好基本,想問下係咪中環私企無咩邊份可以收D收工??
While I am bi-lingual, I think I will love to see at least some of your videos are in Cantonese if possible.
Thank you for the comment! This is definitely something we've struggled with in terms of thinking how best to work this in. For now, since our audience for the channel are predominantly English-speaking, we are sticking to English as the audio language. But we are looking into subtitling at the minimum so that hopefully our content can reach more people here in Hong Kong.
You are so perfect and your boyfriend is really
lucky❤
I just check the word introvert and found the following: "An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what's happening externally. They enjoy spending time with just one or two people, rather than large groups or crowds.". Is it dangerous to be an introvert if he/she is the ruler of a big, powerful country? like...... world is in chaos? scary?
Introverts can be trained to do tasks extroverts are good at doing though they may not enjoy doing them, but not the other way round. Extroverts simply cannot survive in a quiet and lonely environment. (Maybe a little exaggeration ) 😄
Wow you look so much younger than your age. Good genes 🧬 like 20
wouldnt the metaverse solve this?
as an introvert i cannot understand why you added music to your video and why so loud
W
Second…
You’ll get it next time! 🤝
Em has a 120 IQ
Wow that's a nice toilet.
you are not between INFP or INTP, go take a proper test that isn't a binary test. The function stack tests (stacks aren't absolute hence why you will see final results showing you deviance from the claim) is at least a better place to begin. Reading the origin source is best with how Jung defined the 8 functions. We use all 8 (Ni/Ne, Si/Se, Ti/Te, Fi/Fe with preference for a main few. Understanding your 4 sides of the mind will paint a better picture of how you operate in healthy and unhealthy states (ego, superego, shadow, subconscious). When you understand the placement of these functions in accordance to each type, you'll see how INFP is radically different to the INTP. So the 16p binary test means almost nothing like big five (merely a measure of what your current state is). If you want to check your mental state, the Szondian projective test and his fate analysis theory is an interesting read.
You aren’t introverted doing TH-cam
I just don't like dumb people
When is someone dumb?
@@gravityfoxy2767 When dey dumb dumb
Why so much filler?