Travelling in Malaysia as a same-sex couple // Malaysia 2023 Episode 4
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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Malaysia 2023- • Malaysia 2023
Malaysia 2018- • Malaysia 2018 Trailer ...
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I've always said it's not lying if they make you lie. If lying keeps you and your family safe, you lie. You lie through your teeth as often as it takes to stay safe.
Yep! Totally agree with you.
My 7 year old grandson has a bracelet and necklace. He has a locket with a picture of his baby sister in it, he has baby dolls and stuffed animals. He also has cars, trucks, dinosaurs, balls etc. children do not differentiate between boy and girl toys or clothes unless their adults in their lives tell it to them. My grandson also loves pink and purple as well as blue and green. He loves Frozen and saw a girls T-shirt he wanted so badly. He got it. He saw a pair of pajamas with a cape in the girls department and fell in love with it and got that as well. All while wanting everything Dino and shark. He loves building and coloring and playing with his dolls. He plays all sorts of things with his buzz lightyear and baby dolls. Children don’t know how to discriminate until adults corrupt their minds and teach them intolerance and hate.
I’ll h
I got really mad when my son was little, as all the boys clothes were pretty bland and boring (and light blue/white/navy shades). I actively went out my way to find clothes in bright colours for him! Why should kids be pigeon-holed like that? It annoys me!
There's a photo of me in like 1993 dressed as Princess Jasmine with a construction hardhat, holding "spaceship controls" made of Lego. There were periods between ages 3-6 where I'd ONLY wear dresses, other times I HATED dresses, and at one point I only wanted to wear bathing suits. I'm so glad I got to dress how I wanted (within reason) and play with my (significantly) older brothers' Transformers and NES growing up. I got to have all the fun and be myself. And ultimately it had zero impact on my sexuality or gender identity (which happens to be cis/het woman). But if my parents had been like, NO MASCULINE TOYS EVER, I'd have felt deprived and my brothers would've had less of a bond with me. It's all so arbitrary.
👏👏👏💖💜🤍
@@yesterdaydream As someone with parents who did _not_ always allow me that much freedom of expression myself... I can confirm, I *_definitely_* feel incredibly deprived in certain ways, and even though I am also a cis woman I went through a phase as a teen where I seriously reflected long and hard on whether I was or not because my family didn't normalize it that girls can like action movies and playing with dump trucks and such too. (Just to skim the surface.) I do personally happen to be graysexual and bi though, but I'm 100% certain that action movies and toy dump trucks and such had nothing to do with that & that had nothing to do with my liking action movies or toy dump trucks either. I mean.... I didn't watch action movies for the oft incredibly objectified women, no, I wished I could watch action movies with perfectly normalized gals in them who I could have actually related to; and I actually had huge borderline-embarassing childhood crushes on actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jet Li and such. LOLL 😆
In fact, I actually started acquiring a taste finally for far more stereotypically "girly" things quite specifically _after_ my graysexual little self finally started realizing that women could in fact actually be incredibly beautiful too[ as I embarked into my early-to-mid- 20s], when they weren't being grossly objectified or negatively stereotyped and making me ssoo *shudderingly* insanely uncomfortable imagining myself put in their shoes and utterly hating/loathing/despising the whole entire idea and possibility of that.🤣
I feel so incredibly fortunate to have been self-aware and self-reflective enough to realize that I had zero actual desire to be a guy in the slightest, and that it wasn't being a gal that I was uncomfy with but instead was just the limitations that other people often tried to force upon me because of my being a gal that bothered the heck out of me. But I can imagine that too easily playing out very differently if I had a far less /deep-thought/independent-thinking and mule-headedly strong-willed personality type. -__,- .. I feel like the best things my parents ever did or said for me were almost entirely unintentional, sadly.
I grew up with same sex parents in the US before gay marriage was legalized. My parents were and are constantly asked "are you brothers" and strangers were curious as to which person was my brother and I's father. During my teen years, people started assuming one of my parents (late 40's at the time) was my husband which was particularly gross.
One time my parents were particularly exhausted while we were eating breakfast on a road trip through a more rural area when a random woman approached our table and asked if my parents were twins. My dad responded by saying "no, this is my husband; do all white guys with beards look the same to you or something?" The look of shock and horror on her face was hilarious.
"Do all white guys with beards look the same to you or something?"
I love it 🤣
That's fantastic!
But it does remind me of a few years ago when my husband & I were background extras in a movie. We were asked, in complete seriousness, if we were siblings. He's 6'2.5", & I'm 5'8". We're both white, brunette, & blue eyed; but I'm more peaches & cream, while he's more olive (there's Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry somewhere on his mother's side). He's also got a much more rounded face, & mine's more oval. I wore my wedding band the entire time, & we exhibited a fair amount of hand-holding, quick kisses, me leaning against him when tired, etc. Towards the end of filming (at least a month into it), one older woman got confused about something we said, & just straight out asked "But aren't y'all brother & sister?" LOL, er no? Completely gobsmacked her.
People only see what their brains can cope with, if their upbringing didn't include seeing anyone different from them and their family they can't see anything other than what is "normal" to them.
My wife and I have been together around forty years ( I'll be told off for not remembering exactly) and spent more than the first half of those being mistaken for sisters. So much so that in the end if the person didn't look like they could take the truth and would not learn from it we didn't bother enlightening them....or if it felt dangerous to share of course.
We still have one little old lady we know, she's in her eighties and can't hear very well and is quite a simple soul who kindly tries very hard to understand our relationship...and our names 😂 but can't quite get there. We're very fond of her just the same. 🤗
It's so lovely to know now that what used to be different is now "normal" (hate that word!) and that young people are growing up in diverse households in multi-faceted communities where difference is celebrated as it should be.
Uurgh adults can be so creepy! Growing up I was frequently perceived as a girl and from about 11 or 12 onwards I started having comments aimed at me asking if my dad was my husband and if my baby brother was my son. I was tall for my age but I've looked at old pictures and like, I was very clearly a CHILD, I looked young. My dad has never behaved even slightly creepy towards me, he was is just a genuine kind guy who loves his kids so it was literally people projecting. Happened so many times at Church too, we'd only go for big events like xmas and easter or to take my lil bro to the music club for babies. So uncomfortable.
I think the guys on the plane was some sort of security person making sure you didn't go to Malaysia to "buy a child".
Glad they're doing their job, but it must have been an unpleasant experience!
Yeah, that’s what I thought too.
Probably related to human trafficking prevention/detection aswell.
Yeah, but shouldn't that have been cleared up at the airport, and not on the plane? They have to get their passports checked when flying to Singapore, not to mention going through immigration when arriving in Singapore. Just seems like a weird place to do it.
I'm hoping that's what it was, I can see that being the case since in a lot of countries a fair skin, child with blond hair would be a desirable choice to be trafficked. Still they should have given an explanation afterwards if that was the case.
Yes that was my thought as well. Scary thought. Glad they were all safe
When a tiny human can express a desire for clothing/toys/whatever, I'll never understand people who are like, "NO, wrong genitals!"
Same, like no adult should be worrying about a random child's genitals. And parents should only be worrying as far as cleaning and health problems.
@@waffles3629 nobody said genitals.. why go there 🤦♂️
@@kristennations8516 the original comment did, did you even read it? And if someone won't let a child play with a doll "because he's a boy", they are dictating what the kid can play with based on the child's genitals.
My boys favourite toys are his baby dolly & his cousins hairbrush. He likes to sit there & brush her hair. I would never stop him from doing that because he's a boy...
@@kristennations8516 I said genitals, because parents often assume their newborn's visible physical sex characteristics determine whether they like (or _should_ like) certain colors/toys/outfits/etc.
I have such mixed emotions watching this video and listening to your stories traveling as a same sex couple in my home country Malaysia. I left Malaysia to escape the depressing homophobia for a slightly more progressive country but marriage and adoption laws in Singapore are just as restrictive against LGBTQ+ people. I definitely do feel a tinge of jealousy because the privilege (being tourist, having an English accent, mixed race etc.) that you carry definitely helps with tampering any outright homophobic hostility towards you both. But thank you for acknowledging your privilege and sharing your experiences
At the same time, it is so heartwarming to watch you travel as a couple and as parents there. I hope to do that one day, to travel my home country with my same-sex partner freely and not have to worry about any danger but it feels quite far fetched. Your family is so beautiful and I love to see this representation. A representation of something that could be possible for myself, but made much more bitter with the awareness that it is not a choice (getting married and having children) in Singapore/Malaysia. It is still a representation nonetheless and I am still hopeful for a future that is better than right now 🤗❤
My wife and I worry about this stuff so much that we still haven't traveled internationally with our almost-4-year-old. I was born in Russia and that's a place I feel like I can never go back to, given I'm in a same sex marriage. It makes me really sad that the place I remember so fondly from my childhood has become so awful. I'm glad you can still go to Malaysia even if you have to be careful and lie, which in my personal experience makes me feel TERRIBLE. But it's sad to skip traveling a whole giant swath of the world due to feeling unsafe, too. Ugh. No good answers.
That air marshal situation sounds like they made a completely baseless assumption of human trafficking. This is why I always try to have all documents with me... And I still worry.
Very difficult topic. I totally I
understand about having to lie when you feel unsafe, especially when traveling abroad. It is so frustrating to have to do it. It definitely was not a good feeling having to explain to our daughter, as she got older, why we weren’t being honest about our relationships with each other. I really appreciate the two of you honestly talking about how you have to be careful. (God “nose” we needed this video to end on a funny note.)
Jessica's nose isn't big at all. It's just that in Asian countries, the noses are a little wider and less protruding by nature whereas in other countries, they are narrower and more protruding. Neither is big or small, just different in shape. I really have never understood why strangers have an obsession with parentage and other people's relationships. It's just not something I would ever think to ask or think about.
I mean, her nose is fairly big, but that’s not a bad thing. I don’t get the need to reassure people that their nose (or body as another example) isn’t big because there is literally nothing wrong with big noses. We should instead be working to undo the idea that neutral characteristics are negative. They simply exist.
Yeah, like I only need to know how a child knows a person if I need to refer to them. Like I'm a swim instructor and somewhat often need to refer to my students parents. Stuff like "The lesson is over now, we need to go back to your mommy". But it doesn't matter to me at all how they became a parent. I don't care if they're bio, adopted, surrogate, step child, etc, it doesn't matter.
@@AndersWatches I was being honest. It's a normal, Irish nose. They're just taller than they are wide is all. It's perfectly suited to her face. No, there's nothing wrong with actual big noses, but hers isn't one.
@@waffles3629 Right? Why would anyone even have the thought? It's not your business to know a stranger's lineage or if two women are friends, relatives or married. Mind your business, you know?
@@imscanon yep, like I've had people get shocked I didn't assume they were a couple, and even got accused of homophobia a couple times due to it. Like no, I didn't assume you weren't a couple because you are gay, I didn't assume it because I don't know you and you've given me zero indication that you are. Like I'm also not assuming they weren't a couple because that's far from the first thing on my mind when I met strangers.
Ugh! My wife and I decided a long time ago that we'd not travel to places that criminalize same-sex relationships. We are in our 50s and have decided we've had enough of that nonsense! When I was your age and traveling with children, I lied for the sake of safety too. It looks like Rupert had fun :-)
I just have to say that just your existence makes me happy because you so rarely get so see happy older queers and I’m glad you had that!
As Jessica said in an older video, 'Safety first. Protect yourself at all costs.'
In an inhospitable environment, it's not lying that's hazardous.
I’m Swedish and growing up I had a lot of interesting experiences in that peoples perception of my ethnicity changed based on what parent they saw me with.
And as I was older there was this distinctive shift. You could see when people began to see your a bit differently.
Both just parents are Swedish. But my mom is blond, pale as a ghost, blue eyed. While my dad is not white passing in Sweden.
Even though he is entirely Swedish, and dna tests and researching our family tree he is just Swedish, people think he looks like he might be from Turkey or the Middle East or something like it.
Dark brown thick hair, dark thick hairy arms and legs, tan, but with clear blue eyes.
As a kid I got a lot of reactions from adults of ‘OH is that YOUR DAD’.
And I just thought they were chocked and couldn’t believe I had such a cool dad.
But it was more that, peoples perception of how ‘white’ me and my sibling were changed. And they were surprised that our dad wasn’t as white passing as they would expect.
Some adults would begin to ask where I and my parents were from or talk about what great Swedish my dad spoke.
And I would mostly just be confused.
Love that you thought they just thought your dad was too cool 😎
We have the same problem over here in Germany. My husband looks like he's from Spain or Greece even though he can trace back his family tree to the 1500s - he's German through and through, nothing else. But that doesn't change the fact that people often talk to him in English or even CHINESE and assume that he's my second husband because our children are blond and blue-eyed (thanks to my Romanian genes) and couldn't possibly be related to him. And he, of course, gets complimented for his good German. "Wee, thanks, it's my mother tongue."
The look on Claude's face when Jessica asked about her nose was hilarious. It kind of mimicked the confusion men's faces show when being asked "do you think that makes me look fat?" 😅
I was thinking the exact same thing!
It's a trap!!!!
you know, I automatically felt kinda scared & abit embarrassed to click on the video when I saw the title, knowing how homophobic malaysians are. It’s not easy to be proud of a country that still criminalise same-sex relationships & being transgender. I know how awkward things can get when you have to sort of “lie” or not say the full truth, so sorry for that :/ But regardless, I’m glad that you guys still manage to have a great time!
Not gonna lie, it will be worse in Indonesia. I tell you, it is so much worse here. Many gay bars are forced close and the people inside is probably beaten up by the police and they will said it is a legal act to do the violent.
Well, there are people who live like that 24/7. I wouldn't be embarrassed for something I can't control, that is also directly affecting me in a more damaging way
Tbf, people dont really care about wether you are lgbt or what, as long as you dont push it to other people’s throat. Even transgender like Sajad doesnt encounter issues like being shunned or whatsnot until it was revealed that they scammed a lot of people. Also, the Muslims in Malaysia don’t really care about the stuff for non Muslims, including their religion and sexual orientation.
Yet in KL (or at least when I visited in 2019) that tower lights up rainbow and blasts "We Are The Champions" by Queen.... which Freddie Mercury is queer as heck. It did make me laugh at the irony, but I couldn't help but think a lot about and empathise with the laws and probably overall beliefs that queer Malaysians are subject to. I thought a lot about what my life would've been like had I been born in a more homophobic country, as I was 18 and had just come out not long before my trip, and spent the past year or two contemplating my identity and sexual orientation a lot. It was lovely though when I was in Singapore (on the same holiday), I found the loveliest little bookshop/artist and creator's haven which had pride flags about and lots of books and poetry about queer topics, Singaporean culture, identity, stories from trans authors, etc, and a lot about art and music and other nice things. It was really powerful to find a spot like that in a country where being gay was illegal (at the time, I believe); it made me so happy for lgbt Singaporeans, and also proud and worried for the shopowners for being so outward about it.
Regarding your son being seen as different races in different contexts, that happens to my son too. My son is part Panamanian, and he is viewed as white by white people, but when he has sat next to my POC friends, people have assumed he is theirs. He is also seen as Latino by Hispanic/Latino individuals, especially in the summer.
I call it the best of both worlds. I also like befuddling white people ;)
In one of his stand up routines Trevor Noah talks about being excited to come to the US and be black (as opposed to South Africa where he is classified as "colored" because he's biracial). To his dismay, one of the first people he talked to here asumed he was Latino 🤣
it's actually an important topic - I mean the way lgbtq+ people should or should not express themselves depending on the place
for example i am a pansexual girl in a relationship with another girl who is a lesbian, but we live in a homophobic country
we're trying to somehow behave like a straight couple would do, but for us every handholding, hug or kiss is also a protest and a risk
and we always have to check if there are people around us and if they can jeopardize us
and yes, it is always so awkward when we check in at a hotel together, and the receptionist asks if we're certain we don't need separate beds etc etc
Jessica, I’m a photographer and I think your nose is absolutely beautiful! Please don’t feel self conscious about it. It’s probably just very different to what people there are used to seeing. I’m betting no one in England regularly tells you that you have a “big nose.” I give you the official photographer stamp of approval that you are beautiful, and that includes your nose! If we lived in the same country, I would be honored to photograph you :)
I’m glad that you guys are keeping your safety in mind so much. I’m really, really sorry that you have to, but you guys seem to have it figured out. I’m bi myself but married to a man, so I appear straight. I can only imagine the kind of difficulty you guys must face all the time. It’s horrible and it needs to change. ❤
Jessica has very "old world" beauty (larger bone features) that's shared across Europe and the Middle East. As someone with a similar genre of features, it can be very annoying to be singled out for being "unconventional beauties," when really we're just in the wrong century lol but it can be hilarious when older people (different beauty standards) are like "WOAH, you're so special" haha and they're right! Jessica is very beautiful
The airport thing where they were questioning you, they were definitely trying to make sure you guys were trying to kidnap or traffick him. Which, while their line of questioning was pretty abrasive, it's pretty good to know they're making sure of that stuff. I couldn't say what their qualifiers were for asking you guys though 😅
yeah, I definitely took it that way, rather than direct homophobia
The aggressiveness of the questions might have been to try to rattle a would be trafficker.
Lol and they suspect all the straight couples of trafficking too? It's still homophobia
@Lana Prest it probably is, I never said it wasn't. however, a tactic thats been seen is getting nice looking women to attract little ones and kidnap them, that's all I'm saying. 🤷♀️
Also, wondering if they're having an issue with people buying babies from Malaysian women? Or paying for surrogacy from poor women? Which, yes, both are also trafficking but one technically has permission of the birth mother while the other is purely theft.
I live in SEAsia and have never felt safe enough to come out or act non-straight in any way. Even around family, it's kinda iffy cause at any point they'll just go on homophobic tirades. I hope to one day move to a country where it's more open :)
I wish you the best of luck
The part where Rupert was messing with the Tripod and not understanding where these people were was so funny.
Love these videos from your trip
Jessica’s nose is ABSOLUTELY perfect for her! You ladies are so much fun to watch! I’m quite enjoying your trips! As a disabled person, I would not have the energy to have a quarter of the fun you’re having, but watching your little family having fun while traveling is delightful!
Claudia, if you're still interested in having a pet lizard, be reassured that there are many lovely lizards much smaller and friendlier than green iguanas! I can personally recommend a wee group of Emerald Tree skinks (they're so friendly and love hanging out with people), or bearded dragons, which are also quite friendly, although much less active, and safe around children also, leopard geckos are also very friendly and cute, and make good first time reptile pets. Blue tongued skinks also make good lizard pets, but they're a little more difficult for beginners.
yes, I support this. We really enjoyed our Bearded Dragon!!! and leopard geckos are great for "beginners"
I have traveled to South Africa as a bi person and I decided to present as a straight person. I was allready traveling on my own and clearly very white, young and afab and was like, I don't need any more targets on my back. I am glad I made that decision, because I overheard even some of the more forward thinking people at the place I was staying talk about gay people and I was like, if that is what the forward thinking people think, I don't want any part of that. There are times to be proud of who you are, and there are times to prioritise your own safety even if it sucks.
@sewer~rat Yeah, I mean white-er than most white South-African people. And some of the bigger cities in South-Africa are just not save for tourists. In the camp I was staying I felt save but even there you could feel the racism. I honestly don't know what part made me more uncomfortable. The fact that I was praised so much for being white, or the way people of colour were treated still. It was both a very eye opening situation and a situation that made me very uncomfortable.
@@laartje24 uh, white-er then most South Africans??? That's not a thing, we have many super pale white people. Same sex marriage has been legal here much longer than in higher income countries. We also have strong anti-discrimination laws and constitutional protections for LGBTQ+ individuals. Yes, many spaces can still be dangerous, which is also the case in the UK, but as a whole my country is NOT the same as places where it is illegal to be homosexual. And I'm a white, bisexual South African.
@@Karools_Scribs Interesting to hear. That is very different from the experience I had. I am glad though that there are places in South Africa where it is better. Shame it wasn't in the place where I visited.
"it's fine just to say I do things well, you don't have to minimize them" love it haha 💕
i think chinese parents tend to let their kids wear gold lol. it's so common to gift gold jewellery to newborns, regardless of the gender. this is the first time i've heard the bracelet and anklet gender distinction oh my 💀 my mom put a gold necklace, bracelet, and anklet on me, and earrings too when i had my ears pierced 😂 the anklet and bracelets had bells on them too so every move was just a lot of jingling. i'm still wearing the same jewellery now, but the chains have long been extended (for obvious reasons). i only ever take them off if im about to go into some body of water, i'm not gonna go fishing for gold lol
It's similar in Bosnia, kids get traditionally a lot of gold jewelry for their first birthday, usually from family and friends that are better off. I think it's sorta seen as a way of ensuring the kid's future, cause money's value fluctuates, but real gold is always worth something.
I’m really happy to hear that Claudia is more open to identifying as bisexual now! It always made me a little sad that she would say that she’s a lesbian because she’s married to a woman, because as a bi girl with a long term boyfriend, I would hate anyone to dismiss my queer identity due to my relationship. Bi people are still bi when we’re in monogamous relationships, and it doesn’t mean our eyes wander, we just know that we have the potential to be attracted to people of different genders!
Also there are some people who identify as bi lesbians, which might be something Claudia would be interested in looking into?
P.S I loved the intro to this vlog!
You have the nose that fits your face. Don't change a thing.😍
That’s really funny the little girl thought she could teach him Chinese just by speaking it. Hope you’re all having a good trip
In fairness to her, speaking Chinese to her until she understood it worked for her as a baby! 😅 A few minutes vs her entire childhood, what's the difference!
@@tsktsklookslikerain4578 lol true
My youngest brother was born with beautiful blonde hair which my mum let grow because he didn't like it being cut. This meant she often had to clip his hair back when he was a toddler so it wasn't all in his face (and he said it made him pretty), and people were constantly assuming he was a girl. At first my mum dressed him in blue but after a while I think she realised people just have gender stuck in their head. I'm lucky to come from a very accepting family so when he wanted a purse or wear a dress no one made a big deal, but the reactions we got you'd think my parents were severely abusing him by allowing him to make his own choices regarding clothes and toys (we now know he is autistic and liked dresses because he doesn't like the feel of clothes, particularly on his legs so clothes can also be an accessibility issue - not that you need a reason to dress in what makes you comfortable).
My stock answer to people in the US who make transphobic comments like that is "Jesus wore a dress..."
your nose is absoulutley gorgeous, and is part of why you are soooo beautiful, never ever change x
Your nose is perfect, Jessica. You are lovely in every way. And I could not be more proud of you and Claudia if you were my own daughters. Or daughter/ daughter in law.
You two are so absolutely normal parents. Your adventures are sweet and endearing. You're doing a great job with Rupert. You're just quietly awesome, like most people are.
I love that you speak to Rupert like he's an intelligent person and no baby talk. My mom never baby talked to me but we do to the kitties, LoL!
This is your vacation that you’re sharing. Share as much or as little as you please and focus on family! Love you!
I've gotten mistaken as my dad's wife. That's the one thing about being mixed race I don't see people talk about a lot. It's weird because except for skin tone I actually do look a lot like him.
Good God, same here. We shared a mountain trail for like 3 hours with a couple and their daughter (who was a few years older than me) before we realized they thought I was my (white) dad's wife.
Excellent video! I always love to see y’all talking and laughing together! Heavy topics handled well!
Thanks so much Phoebe ❤️
My dad is 40 years older than I am and I started getting asked if he was my husband so young. In certain places we traveled I was asked as young as 12. I suppose I perhaps looked a tad old for my age but definitely didn't look like an adult! People actually stopped asking that question once I was an adult because by then my dad was getting older but frankly 30 and 70 would be a lot less bad than 12 and 52!!
You are both so beautiful, and have exactly the right noses for your faces! I also think you're such an amazing family unit - the two of you seem to balance each other. I love everything about this video - how all 3 of you interact with each other, how thoughtful (and mindful, and respectful) you both are, not only of each other, but of the countries/cultures/people you are visiting: you're right, it's not about restraining yourselves and hiding who you are or your relationship/sexual preferences. As you mentioned, It's about respecting the local culture, "reading the room" and not making yourselves targets for unsafe situations!
I really appreciate you addressing this. My wife & I unfortunately have Malaysia as not on our go to list as both a lesbian married couple with a Trans woman. And I wish we could feel safe. But we don't. But maybe.
My son loved his stuffed animals, his Pooh Bear & Buzz Lightyear, etc. He still has his stuffed hedgehog that his aunt gave him when he was 8. He’s 28 now and the hedgehog has a special place on his bookshelves, along with all his Star Wars Funko Pop bobble heads and his graphic novels
12:10 I am literally at this moment sorting the puzzle pieces of my puzzle out in take away containers that have been washed and reused at least 4 or 5 times. We use them till they break.
My parents both had wavy hair and magnificent noses, before I was born they said well at least the poor child will have curly hair. Nope...enormous honk and dead straight hair. 🤣 It's ok, I'm over it now 🤣😄
Thanks for taking us with you on your travels, such beautiful places to see with such beautiful people inside and out. 🤗🥰🇬🇧🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I've been subbed to you for a looong time. But have not watched a video in a while and I noticed, that Claudia seems to be much more comfortable in front of the camera now then she was back in the day. I love how happy both of you seem 💚
This whole discussion means so much to me as a queer person who loves to travel 💕💜🌈🤓😌😥🥰 I went through all the feelings watching you both share your thoughts, thank you!
Sawadee krup. It's cool that you came over to enjoy Thailand. I believe in Malaysia and Indonesia, you have to beware because of the religious beliefs in the country and people. Thailand tends to be safer, especially for farangs (foreigners) to be openly LGBT but not always. Thai transgender are pretty accepted within Thai culture and television. Homosexuals are accepted but locals may get it worse than foreigners, especially from their own families. But I see plenty of Thai lesbian couples openly together in Bangkok, I don't see many openly gay couples (or its hard to tell) but plenty of very camp men. Thai culture in general doesn't really appreciate public displays of affection even from straight couples, so keeping it mild is always a good idea. Glad you all stayed safe on your travels and took the wise and safe decisions when you got off-putting vibes from people.
Apparently its the straightness of English noses that marvels people. I'm 34 and I was complimented for my nose by my Italian husbands 16 year old cousin. I never thought about it before, I'm English and my nose isn't bent or anything (I don't play rugby, boxing etc) so I said "thank you..." But she didn't have a bad nose. Such a strange thing, and most people have a nose that complements their face.
Blaise Pascal famously said : The nose of Cleopatra: had it been shorter, the face of the entire world would have been changed. A strong nose anchored her face and took her from merely pretty to legendarily beautiful. IIRC, it's also part of Guenevere's introduction in The Once And Future King.
So, take heart, you're in illustrous company, according to Claudia's tiny cousins!
In Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 every child boy or girl wears a bracelet from the time they are born.
Thanks for sharing this, guys. Very honest and helpful 💕
17:30 I love the "NO DURIANS permitted inside this vehicle" sticker on the dashboard lol Those things are so stinky! 😱🤢
The nose size part was hilarious, nothing to do with the durian comment. 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing, and it's wonderful to see other parts of the world vicariously as always!
lol - i paused the video at the part about the "no durians" sticker on the dashboard, just to see if anyone had commented on it!!!!!!! I was laughing so hard (and for anyone else who has tried/smelled the stuff, you understand!) And honestly, I'm shocked that I had to scroll this far down to find someone who even mentioned it. Thank you Chris
@@katiegleaves3792 Once you smell one of those, you never forget 😳 lol
I'm glad you don't inforce gendered norms on him. Just like what you like regardless of if it's been assigned a "girly" thing or "boyish" thing. Just nice to have options 😊
I lived in Singapore for 3 years, 65 years ago. I’m white, but was very often identified as a Malay, which didn’t bother me at all. I loved living there, and still miss it.
As someone who is also nasally gifted 👃 it just means we have a distinctive look. We are striking and lovely and unique. You’re gorgeous and have a lovely nose and profile.
Just got back from Brunei and Malaysia. I am from The Netherlands myself.
Had a fantastic time! Visited friends who live in Brunei, and we went snorkeling in Malaysia.
One of the ladies who accompanied us on the snorkeling trip as a guide, was openly gay and flirting with one of the diving instructor ladies on another boat .
That gave me hope for humanity.
Like the great philosopher Frank Zappa said: You are what you is , you is what you am. Make out, or mayhem....
Yeah, some people in Southeast Asian countries can be fascinated by white people. I lived in Indonesia as a toddler, and people took a great interest in us because I had golden blonde hair, and my older sister had red hair. One time, my dad was in line at the post office when he noticed that the guy in front of him had a picture of me when I was 2 (this was during the '90s). This understandably freaked out my dad, but the guy didn't understand why we would find it weird or creepy since his motives weren't nefarious. I didn't realize the interest extended to noses, though.
Had to laugh at the "no durians" sign on the dashboard of the hire car. And honestly, little kids should be able to wear what they like. Rupert's outfits always look cute.
Love you guys thanks for sharing. I just wanted to let you know that the opening sit down talk has audio that is a little hard to hear/ distinguish words and the captions don't appear to be correct
i think the actual captions will be done soon
When travelling in certain countries I wear a plain, gold wedding ring. It’s not really a wedding ring and I’m def not married but you do it to be safe. It worked nicely in Peru but in Egypt I still had men try it on and one very nearly got his hand into my knickers (his hand had gone into my shorts 😡) until a guy in the tour group came up and snarled, “don’t touch my wife.” The fact that he had to do that twice for me and a few times for the other single women says a lot. I was extremely grateful that a guy I didn’t know overly well was aware enough of things and willing to step in. The ring meant nothing there. We were westerners and thought of as being ‘easy’.
I don't think it is wrong to assume people might be homophobic in most eastern countries. It is to keep yourselves safe which is quite understandable
When you were talking about take-out cups that are plastic, I find they make great.I put soil in them then start your tomato plants or other vegetables and even house plants can be started that way and it makes a good use of those take-out plastic cups.
Gosh he’s so sweet ❤ melts my heart. I cannot wait for my daughter to start talking. Now she just babbles. It’s cute but dang do I want her to talk. Walking the is thing that scares me. We can wait on that.
we are not paying enough attention to the No Durians sticker on the inside of the car. '1 extra day's rental will be chargeable to renter if this vehicle pervades with pungent smell of durian' XD
Thank you both for sharing your wonderful trip! ❤️ I really enjoyed it. Jessica, you have a pretty nose. Don’t ever change that. 😊 I enjoyed Claudia’s input throughout the video too…I laughed at the expression on her face near the end when Jessica was talking about her nose. 🤣
My sou used to love having his fingernails painted but it made old ladies very cross for some reason.
Thank you for sharing, and sorry you have to manage safety concerns and awkward encounters due to being LGBTQ+. Sounds like it would be very taxing emotionally
This is one of those things that makes me not want to travel to these places, not the gay thing but the seeming amount and regularity that people just approach you and talk to you and ask questions? That would make me so anxious and I'd hate it.
Aw, this was super relaxing. Thanks for taking us with you on your vacation!
24:44 were they maybe concerned about trafficking?
Just so you know Jessica, your nose is perfectly proportionate and lovely!
It's so silly that people think bracelets and bags are "for girls." There are plenty of adult men who wear bracelets. And people of all genders need to carry things around!
The "talking to the people" explanation for the camera is so cute!
I work in early intervention and those Barbie books are incredible. They can be found inexpensively and in so many stores. They include so many people which enables conversations about a variety of topics from details of clothes to occupations. Frustrates me when things are arbitrarily branded !!
Your look fine Jessica. Don't worry too much about your nose. It is not an Asian nose, but it is a fine nose. ^^
One day I may take my son to Thailand. I hear it is very popular for bottom surgery and they have great programs there. Obviously, if HE chooses to get gender-reaffirming surgery, which is totally up to him (he's 13 now). It's nice to know it is LGBTQ+ friendly!
Don't worry about your nose. Its curious that people wish to have a picture of a feature they've not seen around...
As a person who draws... Ok i draw anthro morph dogs/cats primarily, but I've drawn human faces too... Id say the main feature that you have is that the nose is pointing outward. So... I'm imagining that the people taking your pictures might have more of the closer to the face"button style".
That might be fun... To observe your ovservers?
Was also thinking for the folks who are absolutely asking and asking after your husbands... They're british dentists. (Tiny injoke about being married to/supported by the job)
Thank you for sharing your experiences and I hope you continue to have amazing times 🥰
Take care out there!
Your nose is beautiful, Jessica, just like the rest of you. 🎀💖🎀
Oh thank you!
I just love seeing you two together as a couple and I love seeing how you interact with Rupert. Especially cute was his saying, "Mama" and "Mummy" and knowing the difference, just like you said you would teach him in a very early video. It's just so lovely to hear him!
I think it also helps that you both are relatively gender conforming for Malaysian cultural standards. I would be scared to be there with my butch girlfriend though people look at us and know we’re a queer couple not just friends or sisters even if we’re not holding hands or anything like that
It sounds like they were trying to sus out if Rupert was being trafficked. Sad that it may have been because you are two women and not a “traditional” 🙄 family. But honestly it’s good to know that people are keeping an eye out for possible trafficking victims. Love your videos!
So cool! Thanks for showing us the animals! A couple of them I had never seen before and I want to know what they are.
I did wonder how you felt safe kissing each other at the animal park.
I recently got mistaken for being my grandfather's girlfriend. That's a bit too far, man.
Eeeeeee!!!!
Oh my gosh! 😵
As a young teen I was often mistaken as my dad's girlfriend despite his head full of grey hair and looking older than he was. Even when they heard me call him daddy (its what he chose to be called when I was a baby and it just stuck growing up) they would assume it was a kink thing. It always creeped me out. I know I looked older for my age but not that old! Im now regularly mistaken as my uncles girlfriend in part cause when he runs into people he never thinks to introduce me so they make assumptions unless I can cut in and introduce myself. It doesnt usually bother me but my one neighbor who is a 70 something year old man himself was like, weirdly pleased with the idea he was my boyfriend. The way he asked just had this tone and his expression just... it was clear he liked the idea of me dating someone old enough to be my father far too much? I dont know. I just know it creeped me out. I know there are couples who get upset at people assuming they are family so really maybe best everyone just stops making assumptions all around.
You both have very cute noses that suit your faces. Jessica does have a bigger nose but I don't think by that much and big noses get a bad rap when they really suit some people and can look very flattering
Love you two!
Sounds like the air marshal was worried about potential child trafficking. Still...that would be an uncomfortable confrontation.
About your nose...I've often thought you have a bigger nose than many, but I hope you don't feel self conscious about it. I think it really fits your face and it looks quite lovely. Some people have a large nose and it just doesn't look right, it looks out of proportion. Your nose looks just fine and the overall effect is very attractive. "Big" in and of itself really isn't an issue. I do think you have a rather unique and beautiful face.
I don't know if you guys ever talked about it, but was there any apprehension to come out/hang out as a couple with your Malay relatives?
Given whats been said in the past and how they were received on visits I dont think so? At least not that they have shared unless Ive forgotten something.
I am in so many Japanese folks photos ... when I went in 2014 I had my natural blonde hair and they all wanted pictures with me, and would comment on my hair. It is very fine, curly and wispy so I can see how opposite to 'typical' Japanese hair it is. It's always interesting too look with the eyes of a tourist, or from privilege or from a different racial standpoint.
amused by the "no durians permitted inside this vehicle" sticker on the dashboard of the rental car
In love with the idea of a mischievous durian smuggler in cat-burglar costume
Glad you're having a good time regardless of the challenges/tough moments. You two are gorgeous and your family as a whole is beautiful 💙
Edit: this comment was before I got to any of the nose stuff 😅
Haha ohhh Jessica has a perfectly beautiful nose! I feel like she has a bit of an Old Hollywood look, with her features and her makeup and clothes. She stands out in a positive way.
Funny how similar some of these experiences are but like my stepmom and dad are straight! However we were V white and she was not, and she used to get like. Exactly that level of scrutiny as that one airport official gave when we were out in public without my dad
You both have very beautiful noses but Jessica wins the "bigger-nose-contest". Congrats Jessica!
ty for being so open and honest about the experience. The guy on the plane definitely sounded intense. Maybe he thought you were stealing a baby? Just seems so odd for him to hyperfocus on.
I’ve been to Thailand a couple of times and never have myself or my partner had any issue with anyone. There was a street in Phuket they shut down at night. It’s all Gay clubs. The girls at our Hotel told us all about it. As an Australian I loved it. A lot of Aussies over there and Russians. I’m always careful though about touching my partner and so on, because you never know.
The Iguana lizard was giving us so much 🤩😂
You both have perfect noses for you! Thank you for sharing!
Lol !!! 33:59 you have an amazing nose!!!! It matches your face! And your style is simply fabulous! I really appreciated this vlog. My spouse and I are an old boomer couple. The one thing I notice is that the older we have become the more people think we are related. Lol they even think that we sound alike. We don’t look alike at all!😊
Clothes are close. I like mens’ tshirts - they’re better quality, cheaper, and the material is often softer, all good for my ASD. So does it matter as long as precious Rupert has clothes that fit and are suitable for the weather?
And both your noses are lovely.
That air marshal totally thought you stole your baby 😅
My feet swell up like crazy in the heat too. EDS fun woooo