My big tip for keeping clothes for sentimental reasons is putting them somewhere different from the clothes you actually wear, because they serve a different purpose. Keep them with your other sentimental items and you'll maybe feel better about keeping them.
My friend kept accidentally drawing weirdos who wanted to tell her "Its so nice to see a girl who is modest!!" or some shit with her look, so i suggested "unnatural" color lipstick, and not a single one since she started wearing blue and grey lipsticks, lol.
Visible piercing or tattoos work as well. I have a very feminine style (a lot of 1950s shapes, singed waist, some cottage core like Son de Flor or Voriagh), a curvy figure and a sweet baby face. I hated being taken for a conservative ninny way too often (when I have a PhD, I am progressive, I am outspoken, I am politically active and I have OPINIONS). Aged 38 I got some tattoos that are usually at least partially visible no matter what I wear. No one has mistaken me for a sweet bimbo since. I love my body art as is, but this is an additional bonus I never knew I will be getting.
"Unnatural" hair color works as well. I just got the bottom few inches of my hair done in bright fuchsia and suddenly it didnt matter how "modestly" I dressed. All they cared about was judging the hair.
"Has never fit me, does not fit me now, and will never fit me in the future, and yet, I hang onto it." Less than 3 minutes in, and I already feel so called out/seen.
Jessica, if you have dresses that are a little too big but that you still love, you should take them to a tailor and have them altered to fit you! The pink bridesmaid's dress especially, that one was such a pretty cut and color on you and just needs to be taken in a little!
Yes! I was thinking the same! It's often much more affordable than people think! ...Which reminds me that I too need to get some stuff tailored that I have been putting off for months :D
The place I buy my dresses, it is cheaper to buy new ones than to get them tailored... but they don't have repeats on fabric... and I have a *lot* of dresses with linings and everything... So I am learning to sew. I will fix them! I will resize them! I will replace zippers! I have already retrieved one dress from the retired pile!! I HAVE THE POWER MUAHAHA I do not recommend this for people who have more money than time, or whose clothes are scary spendy. def. go to a tailor.
Just one word of advice. If you are going to a new tailor and dont know anyone who's been to them to vouche, give them easy work on clothes you arent too attached to/arent too expensive to check they are reliable and do good work before you go handing them something precious/expensive/tricky.
My tailor retired and I didn't like his replacement. My solution was to learn how to use my sewing machine and start fitting my own clothes. But yes, a good tailor or seamstress can work wonders.
For the bride's maid dress, have it taken in to fit you. It's lovely. On the WWII cape, see if a museum wants it. Like the V&A. The stone colored linen dress can be easily dyed. Get rid of the sequins and the green sister wife dress.
Another option is to use it as decor. Have it on a nice hanger on a closet door (or even on a clear bit of wall) or on a dress form in the corner. Alot of the makers I follow will do that with things they made but dont wear often so they can be appreciated.
Another option is to use it as decor. Have it on a nice hanger on a closet door (or even on a clear bit of wall) or on a dress form in the corner. Alot of the makers I follow will do that with things they made but dont wear often so they can be appreciated.
Yes, YES, possibly, and absolutely YES! The hardest choice imo is donating that white impractical winter dress. You do look amazing in it with your bold hair, it's truly gorgeous.
What I try to do, is keep my sentimental stuff separate from my other things. Obviously this doesn't always work when you have limited space, but yeah. Also, I think the bridesmaid dress is totally worth it to get taken in so it fits better!
Definitely keep the WW2 cape, that is a family heirloom and a piece of history. I think you did a great job letting go of pieces that don’t work for your current style and comfort. Well done!
I'd put it in the same category as the sequins dress: the effort to fix it is just too much (especially when she's got others that fit the same profile she already likes)
I wonder if you could dye the stained one a darker color? You'd likely have to bleach it first. The dress is gorgeous on you but unfortunately the stain is quite noticeable. Also green dress at the end is a no from me - the color is nice but it does nothing for your lovely figure.
On the Cape - keep it as a sentimental item, that's such a special piece that you can potentially pass down On the stone dress - you can dye it! Lots of fun! On anything that's too big but you adore - find a local seamstress who can do adjustments
I usually ask myself if I’d buy it at a thrift store (since it’s already been washed and worn). If the answer is no, especially because it’s too worn out, then why am I keeping it in my wardrobe?!
amazing news on the 'will anyone at a charity shop want it' thing first of all: yes, probably but also, i go to a lot of rock+metal festivals/alternative markets and a lot of the time they'll have an oxfam or other secondhand clothing stall there, where someone has gone through and picked out ALL the alt clothes, including a lot of 50s style dresses for the pinup/rockabilly crowd. so if you donated anything i promise it would go to a good home!
As someone who worked in a few charity shops when I was in the UK, I can back you up. In the biggest one, there was literally a portion that had suits/nice gowns/dresses that had a bike lock type of thing on it. Same thing goes for jewellery/ornaments. And don't worry too much about the condition of the piece - it'll get sorted through.
I personally love the cape from WW2 and the bridesmaid dress! I agree that you could get the bigger dresses tailored to you. The cape I would keep for sentimental and historical reasons plus you have kept it in great condition!
As someone about to turn 35 and in my first more “professional” job (whatever that means), very much relate to trying to find a style that is still me and not what is just…expected of me/my age. Your personality really shines in this video!
As someone who is still trying to clear stuff out since 2020, one thing I've been told by multiple workers in charity/thrift shops, if you're not sure if it's okay enough to be donated, donate it, they have to go through everything anyway and if it doesn't meet their standards they'll toss it.
For those of you that have stained vintage/delicate clothing, I was recommended lemon soap by a vintage store and it works magic! Stains that have been washed many times over and it still gets to them! (And if that doesn’t work, I’ll do sashiko over it 😅)
If it feels good on the body you gotta keep it! I've dyed so many pieces to bring more life to them but also neutrals can be accessorized with so many shawls, scarves, etc.
Definitely feeling a cape or shawl for that fur trimmed white dress, if you’re sad about letting it go. Also so many of the too-light dresses would dye beautifully-they even make dyes for artificial fibers now, if they are. Ones like the fur trimmed dress, you can take the fur trim off to dye, and then get it stitched back on after dyeing and washing it in a mordant/with dye catchers. I’d be tempted to take the collar off the brown dress if your son’s teacher doesn’t like it, and use it as an accessory on other outfits. Very vintage! Some of the dresses with stained skirts could have the bodice taken off and be used as a top or light jacket, and some of the under-skirts of the dresses you were getting rid of would make pretty petticoats! I feel like there’s no saving the pink sequin dress and the green cottagecore one for you, absolutely send them to a new home!
For that stained dress - often an oil or dye inconsistency will look that way! First try putting liquid dish soap on the stains, let it dry for a week then wash the like normal. If that doesn't do it try a mild clothing dye in a similar hue! It's really not very hard to dye clothes, and it may help with that Montessori guide one as well 😊
This video has a special place in my heart because I've recently come to the conclusion that I am just not comfortable in dresses (gender reasons) and yet I've been struggling to get rid of the last few because I really like them. I just can't stand wearing them
I don't wear dresses but yeah I'm here. I like to look at the fabric patterns and things. Basically the less useful a topic is to me, the more I engage.
I do this thing every year or every season, depending on my mood, where I flip all my hangers in my closet backward. Whatever hangers are still backwards at the end of the year, that items gets donated. Obviously I keep a few things for fancy occasions and funerals that I don’t wear every year, but it has helped me cut down on things I don’t wear!
When you said, "I just need it to be a slightly different colour." Thats so relatable!! Sometimes my ADHD also tells me I should adjust a clothing item that I actually need go say goodbye to. I think that if you put it in the get rid of pile you know yourself, your style, ans how you feel in it better than any of us can. You can have a tailor dye or adjust things id you think youll miss them but its also valid to trust that they'll find a home with the right someone when you donate them.
You think it's _easier_ to throw them away when they don't fit anymore because you gained weight and throwing them away would mean accepting that this is just what your body looks like now and it will never get better and everybody will forever find you disgusting and nobody will ever love you? Skinny people, I swear to god...
Please, PLEASE say you kept your grandmother’s nursing cape!!! That is such a lovely item to keep and preserve and hand down, even if not commonly worn.
As a fellow neurodivergent DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIX THE SEQUIN DRESS embrace it and wear it as is or donate. There’s too many sequins to just take them off because the threads will be poking out everywhere and it would take forever (especially if your hands aren’t great mobility wise) to sew on new sequins in an appropriate colour to cover the threads.
And hope this doesn't complicate things with your garment purging, but if you love everything but the color, take it to a dress shop or a dressmaker and have them dye it for you. (Or attempt to do it yourself if you don't care if it's ruined.)
I think a lot of these dresses could work great for you with alterations, like taking in a few seams, adding a lining etc. but I totally understand if that is too much ADHD/energy-wise. Even if you're not doing the alterations yourself, it takes planning and energy to go to a seamstress/tailor and doing potential fittings and then picking the garment up later. But if you do feel like it is manageable you could maybe see if there is someone close-by who could do the work in future? Could even be potential VLOG material. 😉 Just thought I'd put it out there as most of us don't think of doing alterations as an option. 😅
Between this and Hannah Louise Poston's Epic Pants Declutter, I had a lovely evening of mending and hearing about clothes. Thank you, Jessica and team!
I feel like the white Christmasy dress would be okay to wear under a cape. That way you don't have to try and fin anything over it and you can be warm.
I wonder whether you could find long gloves or gardening-type sleeves that would help. I really don’t care for 3/4 sleeves, even without thick cuffs. I guess my hands and forearms get cold first. But it sure looks fantastic on you.
The whole "I don't need this, but I don't know what to do with it, so I'll keep it" is intensely relatable, doesn't help that I also get sentimental attachments to all my stuff. We have overlapping taste in dresses so even the stuff you don't want is still cool, IMO
No okay but I'm in love with that WWII cape Now that I've finished: Still love the cape, you look great in the "Montessori guide" dress and I think it would probably feel more like you with accessories, I would put the bridesmaid dress (and other sentimental clothes) in storage if you can, and you do indeed look like you have a dozen kids and even more siblings in the last dress (and quite Conservative™ somehow)
Yes to more beauty and fashion content! I love your deep dives and analyses of important topics, but sometimes a girl just wants to unwind with prety dresses Edit: you should definitely find a place to display your grandma's cape, dye the Montessori dress and have the bridesmaid dress taken in! The rest can go
Jessica I hear you about the belt thing. But also, I gotta tell you, metal coil belts. They were a thing in the last decade that I used so often and they were endlessly comfortable. Never too big or small, always fitting just right
Take photos of anything you love! It’s helped me SO much. I also keep an album called “sentimental” so I can easily find an item if I need it. I’ve been doing this to let go emotionally & declutter for 20 years and I’ve not yet needed to find something in the sentimental album but knowing it’s there is comforting . And, of course, I donate rather than throw away. BUT if I were a TH-camr famous for her fashion, I’d work with a charity or auction them myself to earn money for a good cause. I think a lot of people would pay to have pieces that belonged to Jessica, or just the items.
I bought my favorite flannel in middle school and still wear it all the time at almost 30... two types of lesbians :D I loveeee your wardrobe. Maybe you will even inspire me to _finally_ take my donate piles to the secondhand shop.
You have quite a distinctive style, and I think your discards were right on the money. I also have a certain style I enjoy, but as a plus-size hourglass figure woman, trying to find that style is just about impossible. But, since I sew, I’ve been building up my wardrobe over the years with things I absolutely LOVE, fit me like a glove, AND, since I made them, if they suffer a mishap I usually have some original fabric scraps around for repairs! Love the fashion videos!
I have ADHD and I totally understand the need to hang onto soooooo many things. I'm very grateful that as a young kid I was able to recognize this and nip it in the bud. I still struggle with wanting to buy/keep a bunch of things I don't need/don't work for me/etc etc but I very much try to think minimalistic thoughts now whenever I go thrift shopping haha.
The only dress I didn’t like for you was that last one. I’d keep the cape from your grandmother for sentimental reasons. I totally think all of the ones you give to a charity shop would make someone else happy! And I love the process of going through and choosing what to get rid of *without* deciding what to do with it at the same time!
The last one looked cute when she pulled in the waist. It was ruining her figure because it's too large and makes her look boxy. The shirring at the back is supposed to make it fit like a glove but it was doing nothing. Many of these dresses could be saved by a good seamstress doing some adjustments. Jessica has a lovely figure but her hourglass is more dramatic than most women of her clothing size can hope for. She is far from the "average" that clothing patterns are designed for. Between her height and her curves she is never going to be an off-the-rack girly. Custom fit all the way.
We NEED AN UPDATE what happened to each of the dresses? We must know! BUT IF U NEED ME TO. I would gladly give u my oppinion about what u should do with each of the dresses..
This made me feel very seen as an adhder who struggles with getting rid of things 😭 I very strongly connect memories to clothes so it's especially hard for me to get rid of things if I wore it doing something memorable/special. I try to be easy going on myself and let myself keep things if getting rid of it makes me feel upset even if it doesn't fit/I won't wear it as I can usually adjust to parting with it after a few more rounds of clothing purging lol
Vibe check : the Laura Ashley is a no. Sequin dress : keep it as it is and send it off to a good home with someone who loves neon sequins! Favourite dress : definitely the Winter Wedding dress. It's so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your flounce collection with us Jessica :)
I simply adore how you describe dresses as being specific to a personality or situation (eg Montesori Mum). What fun! Absolutely made me smile and laugh out loud. I love that you bought these based on a concept. So much more interesting than buying on trend or influencer/designer. (But also harder to put in the go pile?) Thank you for a thoroughly entertaining and different take on the closet down sizing.
My favourite is the white dress! So gorgeous, so impractical 😁 But I feel like we all need something like that in our wardrobe. But it COULD make someone’s winter wedding… ah
The brides maid dress could defo be taken in and then you could use it and feel nice in it, cause it is super cute on you. A tailor could do that for a new dress
The bright white with the trim is stunning on you! It’s the right white for you and the structured look is wonderful. I would be tempted to do one last fabulous photo session with it then let it go. A holly corsage on that dress and fabulous Christmas photos would be dreamy.
I always kept things to “grow into” but now that I have gained weight I realized most still don’t fit because bodies don’t gain weight perfectly evenly
Love this video! As a fellow ADHD femme lesbian dress-lover I have similar troubles getting rid of old clothes but during this video I finally put a dress I love that is way too small for me in the to donate bag… :)
I used to be the type to keep everything. Then one day I realized I don't plan on losing weight. I went through and got rid of everything that doesn't fit, that's itchy, that aren't comfortable, etc. It makes getting dressed so much easier and I would rather someone else get use out of them :)
I'd try dying the Montessori dress from stone to a color you like more if it really bothers you, depending on fiber. Similarly with the pink stained dress youll never find again i would try putting an applique on, or cutting the skirt short and adding a contrast border to get it back to the same length, something like that. However, i know you may not be able to or gave someone else able to fo those things- im lucky in that i know how to sew and can do it for hours at a time without feeling too badly.
Jessica, I really enjoyed this reel. You're so interesting, entertaining and insightful into the reasons why the clothes don't work for you. As some said, get a couple altered. The Montessori dress and the stained pink dress with slightly darker pink collar and cuffs - get them dyed. You're doing a great job of what I call "redistributing your resources ". 😊
This was so relatable as a chronically ill, probable ADHDer with too many dresses 😂 Also, not to simp for a company, but Hellofresh has seriously changed my life. I used to struggle massively with what to eat and could never make fresh food because it would inevitably go to waste when I forgot about it (and I'd either eat nothing or eat stuff that wasn't great for my stomach issues). I thought I wouldn't like it because I'm pretty fussy and sensitive to sensory things but I've quickly found a lot of recipes I do enjoy. I wouldn't say meal kit subscriptions are ideal/practical for everyone but if anyone struggles with the same things as me and has the means to get it I'd definitely recommend giving it a try.
For the stained pink dress, since you like it very much, you could have a seamstress replace the hem for you. It's not a big job if you find a good fabric for it, and it would give another life to your beloved item.
For the pink dress you loved but was so badly stained, have you tried a product called Napisan. Its amazing what it will remove without bleaching. It must be the original Napisan not a supermarket copy nappie cleaner. I love the pale blue dress with the big pink roses.
I like to make a “get rid of” pile & then store it somewhere out of sight for a few moths before getting rid of it. If I miss wearing an item, I can put it back in my closet & continue wearing it. After a while, if I don’t miss any of it, I can donate it & feel better about not having all that extra clothes. But when I just donate right away… there’s always something I want back. There’s a vest & a sweatshirt that I think about all the time. I probably outgrew the vest 10 years ago💀 but I bet that sweatshirt is still super cozy & I miss it. So if anyone can relate, get a donate tote that can fit under your bed, or in your attic or basement or garage or something. And just ignore it, pretend the clothes has been donated. It gives you the chance to take something back, before it’s actually gone.
I love your style on you. Vintage looks absolutely natural and elegant on you. With the red vintage hairstyle and vintage makeup, you make it seem effortless and I know it’s anything but. This was fun.
It's a not so fun fact that most clothes that get donated end up in landfill. The fashion industry just makes too many of them.... it's kind of ridiculous.
A friend of mine runs a transgender clothing swap/pickup once a month and I now have a bin at the bottom of my wardrobe where, every time a clothing item just feels way off or I feel like it's no longer my style, I pop it into that bin. Once it's full, I reexamine it and then I usually find I never missed those items. And then they go towards people who can't shop, don't have the budget or want to try things out. They are always looking for nicer, newer pieces instead of the really pilled worn out ones so I am happy the clothes get a better life. Highly reccomend finding a similair charity near you for leftover clothing!
I too have been hoarding clothes I never wear for decades (don’t fit, worn beyond repair, don’t like) and you just inspired me to go up to my attic and under my bed and sort out probably 70% as discards finally - thank you!!!
I love the linen ivory dress. You can dye it another color. The pink sequin dress has a variety of pinks but the cut and flow are lovely. I agree with altering the pretty bridesmaid dress.
So many of the dresses you’re parting with I’d love. Especially that white Christmas one. Getting married next year and it’s a struggle here in Canada to find vintage wedding dresses.
I laughed so much watching this video 😂 and I understand the struggle of letting things go. Anything at all, but especially clothing. I usually trick myself into believing they could be useful for a theatre play.. and then they’re not. Most of the time. Still, you’re right in saying that what you don’t really wear could make someone else happy. As other lovely people suggested in the comments, if you love the fabric and colour and it’s just the fit that prevents you from enjoying the dress, having it tailored to you could help. At the same time, letting it go could be equally as good. But I definitely personally advise against the “giving yourself more work to do” (eg taking out the sequins) because: 1) it takes too much time and effort and 2) you would still see the stitches marks on the fabric
Thank you for keeping me great company while cooking! It was such fun to listen to your ramblings ❤ I always put clothes that don't fit me at the moment in a separate box to be stored in the basement. Sometimes I go shopping there and if the feels have faded through time it gets easier to throw away stuff you haven't worn in a loooong time. To have them separate, in a location a little distance from my flat really helps!
You could try dying a dress if it’s the wrong color (depends on material) and for something like the bridesmaids dress you could get it tailored to fit you so you can wear and enjoy it.
Yes this. I once rescued a stained white sofa by throwing paint at it and turning it into a 'Jackson Pollock' designer piece! I was imagining doing the same to the stained dress
Your intro discussing how hard it is to get rid of stuff was so relatable. I still have so much stuff I want to get rid rid of but I want to get rid of it in the most ethical way but I also don't know how to figure out what's the most ethical way without getting overwhelmed.
The one with the stained skirt is soooo beautiful. While I cannot endorse individually cutting the sequins off the other pink one, I did see that one and think “Maybe it could be dyed!!”
Also, for those who might now have though of this yet: for clothes that you like but hate the color or something is a bit off, you can dye clothes and learn to alter things! Especially hemming or shifting the tone of the color, its doable and satisfying to save clothes! But obvs more time/work than your ADHD initially thinks
My mum's tip for stain removal especially for oily stains is to use eucalyptus oil. The clear oil of the eucalyptus lifts the coloured oil of the stain.
20:20 Those are actual OCD tendencies!! I have such things, too! Thank you for mentioning them, and know that you're not throwing the term around when you're using it properly. (It always frustrates me when someone says "that triggers my OCD" just because something isn't symmetrical or when one thing is slightly out of place, because wanting things to be perfectly organized and aesthetically pleasing is very different from having OCD.)
That blue dress with roses is a beautiful colour on you. The white with faux fur is a superb fit, pity about the thin fabric. The green cottage core is frightful. Right call on the formfitting dress and stained ones.
I think it's perfectly okay to keep some pieces that don't fit you for sentimental reasons! If nothing else, they can be given to future family if they can fit it, and then the garment has a really nice story behind it :)
I really enjoyed this brief tour through your closet with fashion show. I thought the aqua strappy dress (the one you have in many colors) looked so great on you - even though not a color you usually wear, it was striking.
Your outfits are so cool. Goals honestly. Also love the bride's dress, yes more fashion dresses and please the last green one looks like you're about to return home to an angry husband (sorry is that mean)
I have never related to you more than talking about how you'll most definitely BY HAND take off every individual piece of sequin XD I have SO MANY projects like that sitting waiting.. never done for years
My big tip for keeping clothes for sentimental reasons is putting them somewhere different from the clothes you actually wear, because they serve a different purpose. Keep them with your other sentimental items and you'll maybe feel better about keeping them.
Yesssss I have memory boxes for specific time periods of my life nd in most of them r also clothing items:)
Yes!
My wedding dress is in one of those preservation boxes. 😊 That might be an option for some items.
Hard agree! You should definitely keep the cape!
Absolutely, keep the cape!!!!
My friend kept accidentally drawing weirdos who wanted to tell her "Its so nice to see a girl who is modest!!" or some shit with her look, so i suggested "unnatural" color lipstick, and not a single one since she started wearing blue and grey lipsticks, lol.
Omg I hope this works, this would be such a life hack :D
@@ForestCreature7 it's been a 100% success rate for her so far, lol. I hooked her up with some Electric blue that seems to be particularly effective.
Visible piercing or tattoos work as well. I have a very feminine style (a lot of 1950s shapes, singed waist, some cottage core like Son de Flor or Voriagh), a curvy figure and a sweet baby face. I hated being taken for a conservative ninny way too often (when I have a PhD, I am progressive, I am outspoken, I am politically active and I have OPINIONS).
Aged 38 I got some tattoos that are usually at least partially visible no matter what I wear. No one has mistaken me for a sweet bimbo since. I love my body art as is, but this is an additional bonus I never knew I will be getting.
Short hair works really well to keep weirdos away.
"Unnatural" hair color works as well. I just got the bottom few inches of my hair done in bright fuchsia and suddenly it didnt matter how "modestly" I dressed. All they cared about was judging the hair.
"Has never fit me, does not fit me now, and will never fit me in the future, and yet, I hang onto it." Less than 3 minutes in, and I already feel so called out/seen.
Omg same.
RIGHT?!
Jessica, if you have dresses that are a little too big but that you still love, you should take them to a tailor and have them altered to fit you! The pink bridesmaid's dress especially, that one was such a pretty cut and color on you and just needs to be taken in a little!
Yes! I was thinking the same! It's often much more affordable than people think!
...Which reminds me that I too need to get some stuff tailored that I have been putting off for months :D
The place I buy my dresses, it is cheaper to buy new ones than to get them tailored... but they don't have repeats on fabric... and I have a *lot* of dresses with linings and everything...
So I am learning to sew. I will fix them! I will resize them! I will replace zippers! I have already retrieved one dress from the retired pile!! I HAVE THE POWER MUAHAHA
I do not recommend this for people who have more money than time, or whose clothes are scary spendy. def. go to a tailor.
Just one word of advice. If you are going to a new tailor and dont know anyone who's been to them to vouche, give them easy work on clothes you arent too attached to/arent too expensive to check they are reliable and do good work before you go handing them something precious/expensive/tricky.
My tailor retired and I didn't like his replacement. My solution was to learn how to use my sewing machine and start fitting my own clothes.
But yes, a good tailor or seamstress can work wonders.
Came to say that too! It looks really nice and doesn't need huge alterations to fit
For the bride's maid dress, have it taken in to fit you. It's lovely. On the WWII cape, see if a museum wants it. Like the V&A. The stone colored linen dress can be easily dyed. Get rid of the sequins and the green sister wife dress.
Another option is to use it as decor. Have it on a nice hanger on a closet door (or even on a clear bit of wall) or on a dress form in the corner. Alot of the makers I follow will do that with things they made but dont wear often so they can be appreciated.
Another option is to use it as decor. Have it on a nice hanger on a closet door (or even on a clear bit of wall) or on a dress form in the corner. Alot of the makers I follow will do that with things they made but dont wear often so they can be appreciated.
Yes, YES, possibly, and absolutely YES!
The hardest choice imo is donating that white impractical winter dress. You do look amazing in it with your bold hair, it's truly gorgeous.
That stone colored dress might take dye really well!! It fits you so nicely, color isn't too terrible hard to change if it's a natural fiber!!!
Yes! I could totally see it in pink, blue, green, or purple!
I had the same dye-it thought - maybe a dark color?
@@SeleneF-t3l A royal blue or forest green?
I was thinking that too! A green perhaps. It's son de flor so probably linen, so hopefully very doable!!
I was thinking of the same thing…dyeing the dress a different color would make a difference. 😊
It's ok to keep a few sentimental items. A wedding outfit, your grans cape... It makes sense (as long as the items don't take over an entire closet 😸)
This! A few sentimental and irreplaceable items are OK to hang onto. Especially if it belonged to someone who has passed ❤
What I try to do, is keep my sentimental stuff separate from my other things. Obviously this doesn't always work when you have limited space, but yeah. Also, I think the bridesmaid dress is totally worth it to get taken in so it fits better!
You do need to keep your grandmother's cape. That's an heirloom.
Definitely keep the WW2 cape, that is a family heirloom and a piece of history. I think you did a great job letting go of pieces that don’t work for your current style and comfort. Well done!
the “montessori” dress fits you beautifully! maybe if you just don’t like the color it’s worth dyeing it?
This one could be a great candidate for dyeing since it is such a pale, neutral colour!
I'd put it in the same category as the sequins dress: the effort to fix it is just too much (especially when she's got others that fit the same profile she already likes)
That sort of colour doesn't really suit me, either. My solution is to wear clothes in that colour with brightly coloured accessories.
I wonder if you could dye the stained one a darker color? You'd likely have to bleach it first. The dress is gorgeous on you but unfortunately the stain is quite noticeable. Also green dress at the end is a no from me - the color is nice but it does nothing for your lovely figure.
I'm not sure you would need to bleach it if you dyed it something darker, eg, violet
On the Cape - keep it as a sentimental item, that's such a special piece that you can potentially pass down
On the stone dress - you can dye it! Lots of fun!
On anything that's too big but you adore - find a local seamstress who can do adjustments
My clothing sort question to bypass ADHD thinking is “would I buy this today?” If the answer is no it needs to go away.
Great process!
If I did that, I wouldn't have half my t shirts. But mostly cuz I always convince myself not to buy t shirts I want.
I like that.
My second question after “Would I buy it today?” is “Would I pay full price for this?” YOUCH. :/ That’s usually the one that helps me most.
I usually ask myself if I’d buy it at a thrift store (since it’s already been washed and worn). If the answer is no, especially because it’s too worn out, then why am I keeping it in my wardrobe?!
As someone who doesn’t wear dresses I clicked on this too fast.
🤣 I really appreciate that
🤣 same
No such thing as too quick for this darling ❤😊
It’s Jessica, of course I will watch it!
Same
amazing news on the 'will anyone at a charity shop want it' thing
first of all: yes, probably
but also, i go to a lot of rock+metal festivals/alternative markets and a lot of the time they'll have an oxfam or other secondhand clothing stall there, where someone has gone through and picked out ALL the alt clothes, including a lot of 50s style dresses for the pinup/rockabilly crowd. so if you donated anything i promise it would go to a good home!
As someone who worked in a few charity shops when I was in the UK, I can back you up. In the biggest one, there was literally a portion that had suits/nice gowns/dresses that had a bike lock type of thing on it. Same thing goes for jewellery/ornaments. And don't worry too much about the condition of the piece - it'll get sorted through.
I personally love the cape from WW2 and the bridesmaid dress! I agree that you could get the bigger dresses tailored to you. The cape I would keep for sentimental and historical reasons plus you have kept it in great condition!
I agree, I love the cape so much. I think I'll make one for myself ❤
As someone about to turn 35 and in my first more “professional” job (whatever that means), very much relate to trying to find a style that is still me and not what is just…expected of me/my age. Your personality really shines in this video!
As someone who is still trying to clear stuff out since 2020, one thing I've been told by multiple workers in charity/thrift shops, if you're not sure if it's okay enough to be donated, donate it, they have to go through everything anyway and if it doesn't meet their standards they'll toss it.
I agree, let them make the decision, industries buy rags from charity shops also
For those of you that have stained vintage/delicate clothing, I was recommended lemon soap by a vintage store and it works magic! Stains that have been washed many times over and it still gets to them! (And if that doesn’t work, I’ll do sashiko over it 😅)
I need that soap! What's the specific brand (or is 'vintage store' specific rather than generic?)
If it feels good on the body you gotta keep it! I've dyed so many pieces to bring more life to them but also neutrals can be accessorized with so many shawls, scarves, etc.
Yes, I do that with scarves
Definitely feeling a cape or shawl for that fur trimmed white dress, if you’re sad about letting it go. Also so many of the too-light dresses would dye beautifully-they even make dyes for artificial fibers now, if they are. Ones like the fur trimmed dress, you can take the fur trim off to dye, and then get it stitched back on after dyeing and washing it in a mordant/with dye catchers.
I’d be tempted to take the collar off the brown dress if your son’s teacher doesn’t like it, and use it as an accessory on other outfits. Very vintage!
Some of the dresses with stained skirts could have the bodice taken off and be used as a top or light jacket, and some of the under-skirts of the dresses you were getting rid of would make pretty petticoats!
I feel like there’s no saving the pink sequin dress and the green cottagecore one for you, absolutely send them to a new home!
A fashion video! Finally, ive missed those!
Yaaaay!
Same!
For that stained dress - often an oil or dye inconsistency will look that way! First try putting liquid dish soap on the stains, let it dry for a week then wash the like normal. If that doesn't do it try a mild clothing dye in a similar hue! It's really not very hard to dye clothes, and it may help with that Montessori guide one as well 😊
This video has a special place in my heart because I've recently come to the conclusion that I am just not comfortable in dresses (gender reasons) and yet I've been struggling to get rid of the last few because I really like them. I just can't stand wearing them
Have them made into blouses? 👗✂️👕 The skirt part could be turned to trousers, too😊
I don't wear dresses but yeah I'm here. I like to look at the fabric patterns and things. Basically the less useful a topic is to me, the more I engage.
I do this thing every year or every season, depending on my mood, where I flip all my hangers in my closet backward. Whatever hangers are still backwards at the end of the year, that items gets donated. Obviously I keep a few things for fancy occasions and funerals that I don’t wear every year, but it has helped me cut down on things I don’t wear!
I try to do a clothes relocation every season or so too, but I can never remember what I wear or not 🥲 That's a good idea!
When you said, "I just need it to be a slightly different colour." Thats so relatable!! Sometimes my ADHD also tells me I should adjust a clothing item that I actually need go say goodbye to.
I think that if you put it in the get rid of pile you know yourself, your style, ans how you feel in it better than any of us can. You can have a tailor dye or adjust things id you think youll miss them but its also valid to trust that they'll find a home with the right someone when you donate them.
As somebody who's been the same dress size since age 12. i feel this. so much. its so hard to throw things away when they fit.
Same! A decent portion of my wardrobe traces back to when I was in junior high. Luckily my tastes haven't changed much so a lot of it still gets worn
I was the same way until menopause and I still have a hard time getting rid of my favourites even though they'll never fit again.
You think it's _easier_ to throw them away when they don't fit anymore because you gained weight and throwing them away would mean accepting that this is just what your body looks like now and it will never get better and everybody will forever find you disgusting and nobody will ever love you?
Skinny people, I swear to god...
@@baguettegott3409 bruh im a uk size 16 i was a fat kid and im a fat adult. just the same amount of fat.
@@Hamster7678 yeah wish I could go back to size 16 lmao
That's fat for a kid, for an adult that's at most mid size.
Please, PLEASE say you kept your grandmother’s nursing cape!!! That is such a lovely item to keep and preserve and hand down, even if not commonly worn.
As a fellow neurodivergent DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIX THE SEQUIN DRESS embrace it and wear it as is or donate. There’s too many sequins to just take them off because the threads will be poking out everywhere and it would take forever (especially if your hands aren’t great mobility wise) to sew on new sequins in an appropriate colour to cover the threads.
And hope this doesn't complicate things with your garment purging, but if you love everything but the color, take it to a dress shop or a dressmaker and have them dye it for you. (Or attempt to do it yourself if you don't care if it's ruined.)
I think a lot of these dresses could work great for you with alterations, like taking in a few seams, adding a lining etc. but I totally understand if that is too much ADHD/energy-wise. Even if you're not doing the alterations yourself, it takes planning and energy to go to a seamstress/tailor and doing potential fittings and then picking the garment up later. But if you do feel like it is manageable you could maybe see if there is someone close-by who could do the work in future? Could even be potential VLOG material. 😉
Just thought I'd put it out there as most of us don't think of doing alterations as an option. 😅
Between this and Hannah Louise Poston's Epic Pants Declutter, I had a lovely evening of mending and hearing about clothes. Thank you, Jessica and team!
I feel like the white Christmasy dress would be okay to wear under a cape. That way you don't have to try and fin anything over it and you can be warm.
I wonder whether you could find long gloves or gardening-type sleeves that would help. I really don’t care for 3/4 sleeves, even without thick cuffs. I guess my hands and forearms get cold first. But it sure looks fantastic on you.
The whole "I don't need this, but I don't know what to do with it, so I'll keep it" is intensely relatable, doesn't help that I also get sentimental attachments to all my stuff. We have overlapping taste in dresses so even the stuff you don't want is still cool, IMO
No okay but I'm in love with that WWII cape
Now that I've finished: Still love the cape, you look great in the "Montessori guide" dress and I think it would probably feel more like you with accessories, I would put the bridesmaid dress (and other sentimental clothes) in storage if you can, and you do indeed look like you have a dozen kids and even more siblings in the last dress (and quite Conservative™ somehow)
I know theyre probably gone but the natural fiber dresses you could have dyed to your liking. I had fun watching this. ❤❤❤
I was thinking that too... A mushroom pink would be an easy one in palette for some of those, softer but still matchy.. or a warm brown auburn?
Yes to more beauty and fashion content! I love your deep dives and analyses of important topics, but sometimes a girl just wants to unwind with prety dresses
Edit: you should definitely find a place to display your grandma's cape, dye the Montessori dress and have the bridesmaid dress taken in! The rest can go
Jessica I hear you about the belt thing. But also, I gotta tell you, metal coil belts. They were a thing in the last decade that I used so often and they were endlessly comfortable. Never too big or small, always fitting just right
Take photos of anything you love! It’s helped me SO much. I also keep an album called “sentimental” so I can easily find an item if I need it.
I’ve been doing this to let go emotionally & declutter for 20 years and I’ve not yet needed to find something in the sentimental album but knowing it’s there is comforting .
And, of course, I donate rather than throw away.
BUT if I were a TH-camr famous for her fashion, I’d work with a charity or auction them myself to earn money for a good cause. I think a lot of people would pay to have pieces that belonged to Jessica, or just the items.
I also meant to say, Thank you for the brief glimpse into adhd dithering about "stuff". It helped me understand a family member a bit better.
I bought my favorite flannel in middle school and still wear it all the time at almost 30...
two types of lesbians :D
I loveeee your wardrobe. Maybe you will even inspire me to _finally_ take my donate piles to the secondhand shop.
You have quite a distinctive style, and I think your discards were right on the money. I also have a certain style I enjoy, but as a plus-size hourglass figure woman, trying to find that style is just about impossible. But, since I sew, I’ve been building up my wardrobe over the years with things I absolutely LOVE, fit me like a glove, AND, since I made them, if they suffer a mishap I usually have some original fabric scraps around for repairs! Love the fashion videos!
Ah, yes! The Montessori dress. The same one Volvo drivers wear.
OMG that WW2 one is AMAZING. As a gal who loves surplus, I NEED THAT SO BADLY!!!
I very rarely wear dresses, but I love to see Jessica make videos of her dresses! 👗
I have ADHD and I totally understand the need to hang onto soooooo many things. I'm very grateful that as a young kid I was able to recognize this and nip it in the bud. I still struggle with wanting to buy/keep a bunch of things I don't need/don't work for me/etc etc but I very much try to think minimalistic thoughts now whenever I go thrift shopping haha.
The only dress I didn’t like for you was that last one.
I’d keep the cape from your grandmother for sentimental reasons.
I totally think all of the ones you give to a charity shop would make someone else happy!
And I love the process of going through and choosing what to get rid of *without* deciding what to do with it at the same time!
The last one looked cute when she pulled in the waist. It was ruining her figure because it's too large and makes her look boxy. The shirring at the back is supposed to make it fit like a glove but it was doing nothing. Many of these dresses could be saved by a good seamstress doing some adjustments. Jessica has a lovely figure but her hourglass is more dramatic than most women of her clothing size can hope for. She is far from the "average" that clothing patterns are designed for. Between her height and her curves she is never going to be an off-the-rack girly. Custom fit all the way.
We NEED AN UPDATE what happened to each of the dresses? We must know!
BUT IF U NEED ME TO. I would gladly give u my oppinion about what u should do with each of the dresses..
This made me feel very seen as an adhder who struggles with getting rid of things 😭 I very strongly connect memories to clothes so it's especially hard for me to get rid of things if I wore it doing something memorable/special. I try to be easy going on myself and let myself keep things if getting rid of it makes me feel upset even if it doesn't fit/I won't wear it as I can usually adjust to parting with it after a few more rounds of clothing purging lol
YES. I anthropomorphise clothes completely! They become characters in my life.
Vibe check : the Laura Ashley is a no. Sequin dress : keep it as it is and send it off to a good home with someone who loves neon sequins! Favourite dress : definitely the Winter Wedding dress. It's so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your flounce collection with us Jessica :)
I simply adore how you describe dresses as being specific to a personality or situation (eg Montesori Mum). What fun! Absolutely made me smile and laugh out loud. I love that you bought these based on a concept. So much more interesting than buying on trend or influencer/designer. (But also harder to put in the go pile?) Thank you for a thoroughly entertaining and different take on the closet down sizing.
What are our clothes if not just costumes for the different facets of our personalities?
@@TheEuniceBurns1 Shelter from the elements and accordance with local social / personal boundaries? */jk
My favourite is the white dress! So gorgeous, so impractical 😁 But I feel like we all need something like that in our wardrobe. But it COULD make someone’s winter wedding… ah
Your instincts are correct!! I completely agree with your taste. Don't keep clothes you don't love! It will just annoy you every time you see it
The brides maid dress could defo be taken in and then you could use it and feel nice in it, cause it is super cute on you. A tailor could do that for a new dress
I 💗 the Bridesmaid dress! Get it tailored to fit!
The bright white with the trim is stunning on you! It’s the right white for you and the structured look is wonderful. I would be tempted to do one last fabulous photo session with it then let it go. A holly corsage on that dress and fabulous Christmas photos would be dreamy.
The thing about the stone colored dress is that while the color isn't great by itself, it does AMAZING things for your skin and hair.
I always kept things to “grow into” but now that I have gained weight I realized most still don’t fit because bodies don’t gain weight perfectly evenly
I loved the white Christmas dress
I love that you have your entire American duchess collection lined up in your closet
Right?! Did you see the green ones?
Never in my butch life have I ever cared about dresses,but this video was so much fun! You look lovely in everything,amazing style
Love this video! As a fellow ADHD femme lesbian dress-lover I have similar troubles getting rid of old clothes but during this video I finally put a dress I love that is way too small for me in the to donate bag… :)
I used to be the type to keep everything. Then one day I realized I don't plan on losing weight. I went through and got rid of everything that doesn't fit, that's itchy, that aren't comfortable, etc. It makes getting dressed so much easier and I would rather someone else get use out of them :)
That stone color dress is stunning. It's not the wrong color for you. It's beautiful on you.
Came here to say this! It makes your skin look so glowy 😊
I'd try dying the Montessori dress from stone to a color you like more if it really bothers you, depending on fiber. Similarly with the pink stained dress youll never find again i would try putting an applique on, or cutting the skirt short and adding a contrast border to get it back to the same length, something like that. However, i know you may not be able to or gave someone else able to fo those things- im lucky in that i know how to sew and can do it for hours at a time without feeling too badly.
the montessori dress is gorgeous on you! i'd love if you dyed it blue or something and filmed it for us
Jessica, I really enjoyed this reel. You're so interesting, entertaining and insightful into the reasons why the clothes don't work for you. As some said, get a couple altered. The Montessori dress and the stained pink dress with slightly darker pink collar and cuffs - get them dyed. You're doing a great job of what I call "redistributing your resources ". 😊
I've been watching your videos for years and this is, quite surprisingly, my favourite one! So whimsical one has to love it.
This was so relatable as a chronically ill, probable ADHDer with too many dresses 😂
Also, not to simp for a company, but Hellofresh has seriously changed my life. I used to struggle massively with what to eat and could never make fresh food because it would inevitably go to waste when I forgot about it (and I'd either eat nothing or eat stuff that wasn't great for my stomach issues). I thought I wouldn't like it because I'm pretty fussy and sensitive to sensory things but I've quickly found a lot of recipes I do enjoy. I wouldn't say meal kit subscriptions are ideal/practical for everyone but if anyone struggles with the same things as me and has the means to get it I'd definitely recommend giving it a try.
I just stated following her and I absolutely love the way she speak, so calm, so articulate. I wish I could be like that
For the stained pink dress, since you like it very much, you could have a seamstress replace the hem for you. It's not a big job if you find a good fabric for it, and it would give another life to your beloved item.
For the pink dress you loved but was so badly stained, have you tried a product called Napisan. Its amazing what it will remove without bleaching. It must be the original Napisan not a supermarket copy nappie cleaner.
I love the pale blue dress with the big pink roses.
I like to make a “get rid of” pile & then store it somewhere out of sight for a few moths before getting rid of it. If I miss wearing an item, I can put it back in my closet & continue wearing it. After a while, if I don’t miss any of it, I can donate it & feel better about not having all that extra clothes. But when I just donate right away… there’s always something I want back. There’s a vest & a sweatshirt that I think about all the time. I probably outgrew the vest 10 years ago💀 but I bet that sweatshirt is still super cozy & I miss it. So if anyone can relate, get a donate tote that can fit under your bed, or in your attic or basement or garage or something. And just ignore it, pretend the clothes has been donated. It gives you the chance to take something back, before it’s actually gone.
I love your style on you. Vintage looks absolutely natural and elegant on you. With the red vintage hairstyle and vintage makeup, you make it seem effortless and I know it’s anything but. This was fun.
It's a not so fun fact that most clothes that get donated end up in landfill. The fashion industry just makes too many of them.... it's kind of ridiculous.
It's getting less as more places are working on ways to recycle fabric. It's still a frustratingly high amount, but getting lower.
the montessori stone dress must stay!! it's gorgeous 🤍
A friend of mine runs a transgender clothing swap/pickup once a month and I now have a bin at the bottom of my wardrobe where, every time a clothing item just feels way off or I feel like it's no longer my style, I pop it into that bin. Once it's full, I reexamine it and then I usually find I never missed those items. And then they go towards people who can't shop, don't have the budget or want to try things out. They are always looking for nicer, newer pieces instead of the really pilled worn out ones so I am happy the clothes get a better life.
Highly reccomend finding a similair charity near you for leftover clothing!
Dye the Montessori dress! I’m picturing a light blue. I bet it would take dye very well.
I too have been hoarding clothes I never wear for decades (don’t fit, worn beyond repair, don’t like) and you just inspired me to go up to my attic and under my bed and sort out probably 70% as discards finally - thank you!!!
The vibes overall - IMPECCABLE. hanging out in the closet talking about our ridiculous fantasy selves. I am so here for this slice of life visit ✨
The white dress needs a vintage cape! And vintage roller skates! And a vintage fur hat! ✨️ ❄️ ooh it would be so cute ❤❤❤
I love the linen ivory dress. You can dye it another color. The pink sequin dress has a variety of pinks but the cut and flow are lovely. I agree with altering the pretty bridesmaid dress.
Make a video of dyeing the stone Montessori dress!
So many of the dresses you’re parting with I’d love. Especially that white Christmas one. Getting married next year and it’s a struggle here in Canada to find vintage wedding dresses.
I laughed so much watching this video 😂 and I understand the struggle of letting things go. Anything at all, but especially clothing. I usually trick myself into believing they could be useful for a theatre play.. and then they’re not. Most of the time.
Still, you’re right in saying that what you don’t really wear could make someone else happy. As other lovely people suggested in the comments, if you love the fabric and colour and it’s just the fit that prevents you from enjoying the dress, having it tailored to you could help. At the same time, letting it go could be equally as good. But I definitely personally advise against the “giving yourself more work to do” (eg taking out the sequins) because: 1) it takes too much time and effort and 2) you would still see the stitches marks on the fabric
Thank you for keeping me great company while cooking! It was such fun to listen to your ramblings ❤
I always put clothes that don't fit me at the moment in a separate box to be stored in the basement. Sometimes I go shopping there and if the feels have faded through time it gets easier to throw away stuff you haven't worn in a loooong time. To have them separate, in a location a little distance from my flat really helps!
Dye the Montessori dress!
You could try dying a dress if it’s the wrong color (depends on material) and for something like the bridesmaids dress you could get it tailored to fit you so you can wear and enjoy it.
The stained dresses you can dye at home and mask the stains by turning the garment a darker color
Yes this. I once rescued a stained white sofa by throwing paint at it and turning it into a 'Jackson Pollock' designer piece! I was imagining doing the same to the stained dress
I've always detested wearing dresses but it makes me so happy seeing you revel in them!
Your intro discussing how hard it is to get rid of stuff was so relatable. I still have so much stuff I want to get rid rid of but I want to get rid of it in the most ethical way but I also don't know how to figure out what's the most ethical way without getting overwhelmed.
I love that! "We love you, Thank you for your service, letting go now"
The one with the stained skirt is soooo beautiful. While I cannot endorse individually cutting the sequins off the other pink one, I did see that one and think “Maybe it could be dyed!!”
Also, for those who might now have though of this yet: for clothes that you like but hate the color or something is a bit off, you can dye clothes and learn to alter things! Especially hemming or shifting the tone of the color, its doable and satisfying to save clothes! But obvs more time/work than your ADHD initially thinks
My mum's tip for stain removal especially for oily stains is to use eucalyptus oil. The clear oil of the eucalyptus lifts the coloured oil of the stain.
lying sick in bed rn, the perfect time to be early to a Jessica vid!
Same! I threw out my shoulder, and this video is the perfect length to ice my shoulder to! 🧊
20:20 Those are actual OCD tendencies!! I have such things, too! Thank you for mentioning them, and know that you're not throwing the term around when you're using it properly. (It always frustrates me when someone says "that triggers my OCD" just because something isn't symmetrical or when one thing is slightly out of place, because wanting things to be perfectly organized and aesthetically pleasing is very different from having OCD.)
That blue dress with roses is a beautiful colour on you. The white with faux fur is a superb fit, pity about the thin fabric. The green cottage core is frightful. Right call on the formfitting dress and stained ones.
I think it's perfectly okay to keep some pieces that don't fit you for sentimental reasons! If nothing else, they can be given to future family if they can fit it, and then the garment has a really nice story behind it :)
I really enjoyed this brief tour through your closet with fashion show. I thought the aqua strappy dress (the one you have in many colors) looked so great on you - even though not a color you usually wear, it was striking.
That grey dress looked stunning on you, even with the color it is. I hope you keep it! Perhaps adding a colorful belt or the aforementioned brooch?
Your outfits are so cool. Goals honestly.
Also love the bride's dress, yes more fashion dresses and please the last green one looks like you're about to return home to an angry husband (sorry is that mean)
I have never related to you more than talking about how you'll most definitely BY HAND take off every individual piece of sequin XD I have SO MANY projects like that sitting waiting.. never done for years