Honestly, being trans and aro is such a combo, because people are always like "nobody will want to date you if you transition" and I'm like "do you promise???"
Alice Oseman, who wrote Heartstopper, also wrote a book called Loveless, which tells the story of a uni freshman figuring out her aro-ace identity! It was a wonderful read
Alice Oseman is also aroace themselves. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that an aroace author somehow became one of the most popular queer authors at the moment
I love that book! I'm so happy it showed a non-repulsed aroace person and showed many queer characters! It was a great book and I highly recommend it to everyone! Even people who aren't asexual or aromantic!
Oh did she!?! I literally discovered Heartstopper yesterday and loved it. I swear this is the first time scrolling through a comment section has actually led me somewhere!
As an aroace, I can say that there's a LOT of overlap between ace culture and aro culture, probably because we're both so new and so internet-based, and our society conflates sex and love way too much. Reptiles and cats do tend to show up in a lot more aro memes than ace ones, though. And cake is more of an ace thing.
"Hi, I'm Asexual. I don't feel sexual attraction" "Hi, I'm Agender. I don't have a gender" "Hi, I'm Aromantic. I don't feel romantic attraction" "Hi, I'm Aromatic- I smell like vanilla!" (I personally am cis f/aro/ace)
The reason why aromentic characters aren't main characters in movies is because they would be too powerful, not getting side tract or betrayed by any love interests, just going straight to the point, the whole moving would be half the length, maybe less.
As an aromantic, I can confidently say that our culture is about loving to sleep, grandpets, collecting rocks, smells, plants, music, archery, juice boxes and treating ourselves like gods while simultaneously hating ourselves
and things that smell nice (aromatic) fun story, every time we read the bible in our church and we come across aromatic, my brain always just reads aromantic 🤣 honestly i’d like to smell aromantic so no one tries to date me
That is where you are wrong, I hate sleeping for prolonged periods of time. It is collections of any kind for me, primarily rocks and video game consoles.
If they're happy being single, leave them be, If they're happy being single, leave them be, If they're happy being single, no need to make them mingle, If they're happy being single, leave them be.
As a panromantic person, being almost an opposite of aromantic people when it comes to attraction, I have nothing but respect and love for the aro community ❤️
As an aromantic allosexual hearing Jamie say "they can also be asexual or they can not be asexual" made me very happy considering I feel like we get even less representation than the aroaces do. Most people think that it's always a 2-for-1 deal but sometimes it isn't, sometimes we're just aro.
Most people don't realize there even _is_ a 2 to separate. The Split Attraction Model makes pretty much everything in human society make a little bit more sense and it should really be recognized more often.
@@BloodrealmX exactly! as an aroace who is fully aromantic but might not be fully ace (still figuring it out), society makes it seem like you can’t have sex without love or love without sex. I see a lot more ace rep than aro or aroace rep (even so, there’s barely any ace rep anyways), so us aromantics definitely need more representation.
It is odd, just having looked around TH-cam and TikTok it’s almost always combined with asexuality. I guess it’s because asexuality can be boiled down more easily into not wanting the hanky panky. Whereas aromanticism is a lot harder to pin down (especially for aro people).
as an aromantic, i can confirm that sleep, cats, and arrows are aro culture. (also shoutout to jamie for talking about amatonormativity! it's always nice to see people, especially allos, spreading awareness about it.)
8:18 Lilith clawthorne from the owl house. Canonically confirmed to be aromantic/asexual. Never sad or looked down upon for not being interested in a relationship. A fun character and shameless nerd, made best friends with a lovecraftian eldritch horror, and has plenty of plot relevance and strong platonic/familial ties to others. One of my favorite characters.
Yesss!!! She was already one of my favorites and then I found that out! Warms my aro-ace soul. There's also some book characters- though once again they're aro-ace. My favorite being Felicity from The Gentleman's Guide of Vice and Virtue. She wants be a doctor and does some pirate things, but also really doesn't care to be in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship
As an aromantic, bisexual and genderfluid/genderfaun ( fluctuating between masculine and nonbinary genders but never feminine ones), I'm very pleased to see this video. Seeing Jamie doing content for different groups in the LGBTQ+ spectrum makes me very happy.
As an aro person, I can say that I love cats, but I can't talk for the whole community. Throughout my life I've often heard this idea of ending up old and single with tons of cats though. And other people seem to think that's miserable, for some reason? Personally I have embraced it, because it sounds real nice to live in a little cottage all alone in the woods with lots of cats. That's just peace, honestly, couldn't ask for anything else.
Aromantic culture is memes, unconditionally loving the color green, exhaustedly and repeatedly explaining what a QPR is, "I'll move into a cabin alone in the woods with a garden and my cats", headcanoning any and every character we get our hands on as arospec, and desperately attempting to create some sort of media (game, show, book) with more aromantic representation because holy heck do we need it. Also, I would totally love more videos of this topic! Also, I think something that's important to bring up amatonormativity. Not many people know what that word means, and it's so important to understand what it is and how in grained it is in our society to the point where it's nearly impossible to escape that viewpoint, and how it's so damaging to aros, aces, and anyone who doesn't conform to the societal expectations of a traditional relationship.
@@BloodrealmX I'm pretty sure that is mostly aromantics? what part exactly makes it for only aroaces? plus, aroaces are aromantic. so it is aromantic culture. it doesn't make sense to exclude us becuase we identify with another label alongside aromantic.
I think that one thing that is misunderstood about aro people is that they just don't feel romantic attraction/romantic love, it doesn't mean that they can't feel love at all. There are so many different types of love, romantic is just one of them. 🥰
I for one looove my friends! I wouldn't want an exclusive relationship with any of them but I'd do about anything for my people. Also, you can be physically affectionate and aromantic at the same time, works for me :))
@@cecilie... Oh yeah, me too! I just thought that it should be mentioned that some Aros don't vibe with the social concept of love, since a lot of times they get left out
For any Aro who needs to hear it I love your independence I love your self sufficiency I love your self care I love your self respect I love your friendship I love your hard work I love you [platonically] YOU ARE ENOUGH for yourself, and your loved ones YOU ARE VALID 🖤💚🖤💚🖤
I saw aromantic and instantly clicked. I'm obsessed with my representation Edit: To clear up some confusion, I'm Aroace, but I never really see aro representation so I was happy to see it
the phenomenon you’re describing at 4:04 is called amatonormativity and it affects everyone to varying degrees! youll mostly only see discussions of it in aromantic and polyamorous communities though, because most allo monogamous people dont ever think about it that deeply. as soon as you start looking its everywhere and it is indeed VERY annoying :)
@@Sup-nerds-q4v ive realized a bit too late that I cant make a joke about this without it coming off as a hate comment without explaining the joke and making it unfunny and I blame aphobes for that
As an aromantic who is learning German, I am very glad that I now know how to say "I don't love you, I only love mayonnaise". Side note: it's a bit weird that aromantic is marked as a misspelled word by Google. Other side note: I don't actually like mayonnaise.
As an aromantic German (not actually but it gets confusing) who absolutely loves mayonnaise so much, that one of my nicknames was "Mayonnaise " I think this very nice
earlier this summer, i read “loveless” by Alice Oseman…the main character is aroace and i honestly cried reading it. it was the first time i felt like i really and truly saw myself in a book.
Being on the aromantic spectrum (demi-romantic) I can relate a lot. When I came out and when I told my mom I was in a relationship she said "You never talked about being interested in anyone before.". Yes, because I was so deep in the closet and indoctrinated into a religion that I feared talking to you on the topic.
I didn’t realize I was on the ace/aro spectrum until my late 30s. I wish it had been a term and been seen as valid when I was young. When I was in middle school and all my friends were “boy-crazy” and I felt no attraction to any guys, I worried I was gay (super conservative family and town). I faked having crushes because I was tired of being bullied for being “a lesbian”. The thing is, it didn’t occur to me that I couldn’t be gay either since I didn’t have any crushes on girls. As I got older I had a couple crushes but they weren’t as intense as my friends seemed to feel. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I eventually fell in love, got married, and assumed my low libido was due to me having PCOS. But even after it was treated I didn’t feel much different. A couple years after that is when I discovered the ace community online and realized “holy shit! There’s not something wrong with me!”
@@Annie_Annie__ i had a (not super close) friend from the church i grew up in that talked once about something similar. she said that all through middle and high school she never found any boys that she liked, and it made her wonder if she was a lesbian. if i'd been a little more confident i would have asked if she meant that she'd had crushes on girls before, or if she just didn't have crushes at all. she's dating a guy now and i really hope she's not ace or lesbian or anything… cause if she's not straight that is not an easy life to have (she's still active in that church and it is NOT an accepting one)
The trope of the "woman who doesn't want to be tied down" or the "confirmed bachelor" are both common in media. But, these are usually side characters and we get few if any details about their lives, or much insight into how they feel about being single. Certainly in the former case, there's almost always a lot of pity towards the character within the work. In the latter case it's usually more tongue-clicking. To make matters worse, fandom often erases possible aromantic characters unless that word is explicitly used: by shipping the bachelors with each other (and the spinsters with each other).
Prior to 1969, both of those _could_ refer to someone aro and/or ace … but they _could_ also be codewords for lesbian or gay, respectively. This is not an attempt to erase aro-identity. It's a statement of how, from the 1920s through the 1950s, "confirmed bachelors" in radio, movies, and later, TV, were often extremely subtly queer-coded. [The subtlety was needed to avoid the wrath of the censors.] The recognition of "aromantic" as a distinct identity wasn't around even back in the 1990s. Again, not saying that "aromantic" was just invented, we just didn't have a word for it until the past couple of decades. There are, nevertheless, a few cases that are better interpreted as aro/ace rather than a same-sex relationship. The old TV sitcom, "My 3 Sons," comes to mind. The premise is that the father of the titular 3 sons lost his wife to illness [still commonplace in the 1950s and 1960s]. An old war-buddy of his, Charlie, moved in thereafter to help him raise the boys. [By "war buddy", I mean someone that the main-character served together with in World War 2 - this was Still Very Much A Thing in the 1950s-1960s.] Now trying to ship Uncle Charlie and the main-character makes sense _only before_ you watch the show. The interaction between the 2 adult men is nothing but platonic friends. And throughout the series, I don't recall Uncle Charlie ever getting into any relationships or romances. So this is a case where a "confirmed bachelor" very, very much looks aro/ace.
@@John_Weiss just to disprove a singular point here, when you said "Again, not saying that "aromantic" was just invented, we just didn't have a word for it until the past couple of decades.", I felt compelled to remind you that the term "monosexual" was invented at the same tine as the term "homosexual" and basically means the same as asexual. while yes aro and ace aren't the same, I just wanted to clarify that there **was** at least some knowledge on the existence of a-spec people.
Honestly, society needs to normalise being single in general. I'm not aro but being a woman over 25 people keep expecting me to have someone that I can later move with, marry and have kids with, so I can't imagine how infuriating it must be for aro people. I wish you all cake and naps and fulfilling platonic relationships !
Aro culture is growing up pretending to have crushes on your schoolmates so people around you don’t think your weird or lonely and then coming out as Aro in the future only to get the response of “you’ve had PLENTY of crushes , what are you talking about?”
I have definitely picked random people to be "crushing on", with little to no reasoning. I don't think it was even for social approval, since I went out of my way to make sure people *knew* I was weird.
This is literally me. I am ace pan demiaro and I have a hard time relating to the aro community because it’s all about not needing love but personally I want love it’s just hard for me to find. 😅
An aro meme episode?! Couldn't be happier!! So glad to see aromantic memes here, I feel like a lot of people, even some in the LGBTQ+ community don't know/understand/acknowledge our existence. And not to mention that people always get asexuality and aromanticism confused. Thanks for spreading awareness
Oh gods I hate when people confuse being Aro and being Ace. Like bicth I want that romance, not that sex and my aro pals want that sex not that romance (unless they are aroace in which case they want fuckin' neither)
@The Werewolf of Somalia Well, they don't have it as bad as other communities, but the fact is the cultural norm is still being in a couple, and some countries give a harder time to people who are single, like for taxes and stuff.
Regarding 5:11 It's crazy how much society really pushes being in a romantic relationship. I'm not aroace, but I am happily single, and have been for 2½ years now. I haven't felt like getting into any kind of relationship, during this time, but my family keep saying stuff like "don't be scared of new relationships just because your last one ended"!" "You might meet someone at uni!" "Maybe you'll find someone soon" and I'm like "no, right now I'm happy being single! Why does nobody seem to get that!?" Like, I identify as cis-het, but right now I'm feeling the single life, and it's pissing me off that so many people are trying to push me to start finding a relationship again. I can't imagine how irritating it must be for aro-ace people to deal with that constantly for their whole lives.
yes! i'm aro but yeah people think we're "afraid" of commitment or intimacy or whatever, like we want to date but we're afraid to, like no i literally don't want to in the first place. even that isn't quite accurate, like being aro doesn't MEAN you don't want a romantic relationship in general, it means no romantic attraction, and being romantically attracted to someone is what would lead to wanting to date them. so that's usually a RESULT of being aro.
Your phrasing suggests that you're under the all-too-common misconception that all Aromantics are Aromantic Asexual (AroAce). This is not the case. You can be Aromantic Allosexual (AroAllo), just like you can be Alloromantic Asexual (AlloAce).
There's a word for this I just learned recently: amatanormativity! It's annoying for us aros, it's absolutely toxic for allos! Not that it's trivial for us, but the whole hating your wife boomer thing is a direct result of it, so...
I know it pissed me off so much we banned the question "do you have a girlfriend yet?" Because no matter how many times I explain the only reason why it was banned was because the relized how much it pissed me off
Jamie covering aromantic memes is everything to me! I'm aromantic and, as tough as it was to finally accept myself originally, now about 2 years later or so, I've come to realize I love being aromantic! I'm aromantic and asexual to be exact! Thank you Jamie! I'm so happy to see this big piece of my identity represented!
The worst microaggression isn't "You will find someone one day", but rather "Why are you still single?". Explaining yourself for who you are: Not fun. Being demiro makes it even stranger, cause I do have ex-partners that cloud the issue.
Agreed, the "why" question is terrible. No matter what variation I give on "Because I want to be/ I'm happier this way/ I'm not interested in dating/ etc" they always come back with, "Oh, but you'll change your mind someday!" The worst one I've personally received was "Don't worry, God has a plan for your life." (I'm also an atheist.) The level of condescension in that was just... 🤬🤬🤬 I was at work and that person was my patient, so there was literally nothing I could say, or even show on my face. I do have good news for my younger aro peeps out there, though. People will eventually ease up on this crap as you get older. It may never go away entirely, but there does come a point where they stop trying to tell you you're wrong about yourself. At least, this has been my experience. People do still ask me why I've never married, and I tell them I've never wanted to. I am 45 years old, so any halfway reasonable person will recognize how silly it would be to give me the "you'll change your mind" line. They just say, "Oh" and look confused. I'm sure many of them are thinking how lonely and pitiable I must be, but the vast majority have the grace not to say it out loud. So, yeah. It does get marginally better. Small comfort, maybe, but it's something.
I'm also demiromantic and I feel thissss. People always ask how dating life is, and I end up having to explain why it doesn't work for me every time! Especially at my age (early twenties) people push the narrative that it's normal to have found life partner already, to the point I feel like I have to start looking. But every time I'm reminded I just don't work like that, and I'm actually very happy being single.
I'm not Demi, but because of the pressure of society, I have a few exes and even a failed marriage in my history. It was actually an argument in my marriage that caused me to realize I'm aro. He was like "You always nag that I need to keep up with my end of what we agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship--marriage isn't some contract!!" and I had to stop the argument and be like.... "okay wait... full stop... isn't it though? Why else do people get together? What do you mean you love me more than your friends? Do you hate your friends? Why do you think I gave you a pros and cons list of material items and behaviors that you would get and have to live with in exchange for dating me? Isn't that dating?" Only to have him sit me down and explain romantic love and attachment and me being like .... "THAT"S NOT JUST HALLMARK MOVIE MAGIC????" I have always loved the serendipity of romance in novels and movies--it's cute as fuck--but that was always like wizardry, spells, and monsters in any other movie...
having to justify your own decisions is ridiculous. like aro people end up having to justify their own identity and alloro people who are happy being single are treated like they can't make their own decisions. it's so weird
This makes me so, so happy. I often feel forgotten as an aromantic and worry that people don't see me as part of the lgbt community based on my romanticism. I'm trans, pansexual, and aromantic, but I usually see aromantic stuff get talked about the least of my labels. So this really cheered me up on a stressful day.
I am a cis het aro. I never feel like a part of the larger LGBTQIA+ community, only one-on-one with people who say they think of me as part of the community. Other aros I know have other LGBTQIA+ identities that allow them to feel more like they should be there. I still feel like my cis het identities make me an "ally," not a member.
When I was still living at home and very paranoid about being closeted, I named my playlist “aerospace” because it was close enough and I still think that’s the coolest inside joke ever.
The thing that I've realized after coming out as aroace is that I do want a relationship, I do want someone to call my partner, but the issue is I know I can't share those feelings of attraction that society expects me to. It's not always easy, but that's why I love these light-hearted videos that bring awareness to these identities. Thanks Jamie!
Same here! . From another aroace fellow who do wants to be in relationship and sometimes (but not often at all) feels lonely, I often find it hard even though I haven't tried to be other than friends with someone more than just once. It's difficult because you already have society telling you you should experience this types of attraction but also you have yourself sometimes telling that you are not being fair of something like that when wanting a relationship but not experiencing those attractions.
Yay! Aro memes finally! I’m aroace and it makes me happy to see you covering this subreddit, thank you Jamie! A little thing that I wanted to share: a partner in a platonic way can be described as an “aromate”, isn’t that so cute?
As an aroace, I'm so happy that Jamie gets it. It really is frustrating to see the overwhelming media focus on romance, the lack of good aro representation, and their effects on societal attitudes towards aros, or even non-aro single people. I'm sure romantic love is wonderful to a lot of people, and they could not imagine living without it, but it's not nearly a universal or defining human experience. Also: the only good aro representation I've seen in popular media is in the newer Percy Jackson books, in Reyna's character. I genuinely don't know anything else. Loveless by Alice Oseman is also really good, but sadly it's mostly only known in queer circles so I wouldn't consider it popular media. I'm literally starving for good aro/ace representation.
YES Loveless!!! It is becoming more popular in the bookish community's as everyone reads Heartstopper then looks through her back list. I recommend Loveless left right and centre because out obsession with romantic love over platonic, parental etc is crazy! I adored this book, I cried, loved all the ships (best being friend-ship) Hearstopper 2 TV series is rumored to have a character either Aro or Ace, not sure which one.
Interesting...I've read Percy Jackson like 10 years ago when and didn't pick up on that at all. I plan to re-read the books in the forseeable future though...so I'm curious to see how obvious it will be to me now that I'm older and also aware that I'm aro myself🤔🙂
As an aroace I always have to listen to everyone telling me: "nah you just haven't found the one yet" or "this will change eventually". Talking against it doesn't change anything so I just smile and say nothing.
People assuming you can't be single by choice, it has to be because you're pityful. "You will meet someone good" oh I did, more than once, husband material men, I've been stupidly lucky in that area, still didn't want to plan my life with them.
4:15 Can confirm. Constant source of infuriation. Even more fun at weddings and other formal events. Can’t take a +1, because they’ll assume you two are an item. Can’t not take a +1 because you’ll spend the entire time with everyone trying to set you up.
bring a cat. everyone will love your cat and see that you are happy. win-win. slight downside of taking the attention from the newlyweds but they'll understand lol
As an aromantic, asexual and nonbinary, I can confirm that I personally don't feel incomplete xD It's really annoying when other people (especially family) say that I'll find someone someday and then I'll be happy. But tbh I'm already happy and I don't need a partner to feel that way. I've got great friends who support and accept me. There's nothing more I could wish for. I also think there should be more aro representation, not just aromantic memes. Even though a lot of them are quite funny^^
Hey Jamie! I don't know if you read your comments, but I just wanted to let you know that you have really helped me through this last year, and I am forever grateful to you. You deserve everything good coming your way!❤
As a demiromantic/aromantic asexual and agender non-binary person I appreciate this video. It’s funny that I didn’t receive the pressure from family or friends about finding that one person who I could settle down with. I’m actually perfectly content single. But recently I got to know somebody else who has discovered that he is demiromantic and asexual like me so I might consider starting a relationship with him. As long as the person I want to spend time with is also part of the same romantic and sexual orientations as my own, I am more likely to feel more at ease of wanting to be with them whether it’s friendship or a relationship. Well I wasn’t expecting to rack up the likes. Thank you kind people.
Oh, I've got all the same identities too! You see a lot of people who share one or two of your identities, but not so often all of them. Just wanted to say hi from another demiromantic/aromantic asexual agender enby. I usually just sum it all up as Queer to make things faster. 😂
To all the Aro’s out there, any time someone says “you’ll find someone” tell them you did. And they’ll be like “OHMYGOD REALLYYYYYYY? WHO????” And then say with a deadpan face in the most bored way possible: “me” OR YOU COULD SAY REALLY EXCITEDLY: “my (insert pet here)” or “my (insert friend here)” although I would caution you with the friend ons because then the person could annoy you with further questioning. I’m not Aro, I’m Ace and Genderfluid, but I thought this could help.
I want a rom com, but the mc is Aroace. And the entire anime is the mc trying to explain that they don’t feel that way about people, and at the end instead of the mc “turning straight” or smth the mc and the “love interest” will just become besties for life
Amatonormativity sucks. As an ex Mormon, I am reminded of their teaching that the only way to enter the highest tier of heaven is to be in a marriage (between a cis man and a cis woman) officiated within one of the Church's temples, so as to last "for time and all eternity."
In addition that’s also homophobia n transphobia. Because they don’t agree with all romance, just cis straight romance. If anything I don’t even know if it’s about “romance” to them, but moreso “performing their duties” or whatever.
Famous sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage, likes to point out the following about marriage: Until the 20th-Century, "Until Death Do Us Part," was only for 20, maybe 30 years. And as I point out: Even putting infant-mortality aside, pre-20th-Century if you survived childhold and reached age-15, you'd still only live to 45-55. [Unless you were royalty or an aristocrat - they always lived longer.] So yes, prior to the past 200 years or so, people lived shorter lives, making it easier for a couple to stay together, since they only needed to do so for 20 years instead of half-a-century.
100%. Try growing up with that 🤬 as an aroace teen who didn’t even know aroace was a thing, thinking you were somehow horribly defective because you wanted nothing to do with a spouse for this life let alone all eternity.
I remember picking up a book and feeling interested because it told a story of ‘an extraordinary friendship’ (between a teenager and elderly person) and I thought “cool a book that isn’t about romance! Let’s read! Ngl I felt kind of disappointed when a romantic thread entered the story, but Jamie’s right, it does seem inevitable that it weaves its way into most stories that get told :(
The aroace author Claudie Arseneault keeps a database of books with aromantic and asexual characters. Once you know where to find them, there are quite some stories with no romantic storyline, or at least not in the romance-normative sense of the word
That's why I stopped reading. Used to love it, but then when I became I teenager, I would pick up a sci-fi book and romantic interactions would go on for ages and I'd be like "this is just a romance novel with a sci-fi backdrop". Thankfully now that I'm an adult I've found sci-fi books for my age again that don't focus on romance for pages at a time.
Thanks Jamie! I'm aroace and I cannot emphasise enough just how important it is that we acknowledge and talk about all of the identies we have under our rainbow. In a video of yours, some time ago, your covered/mentioned asexual or aromantic identities and I thought "Hang on a minute...THAT'S ME!" I did more research to better understand this (new to me) information, and I'm sure I wandered round for a few months muttering: "This information would have been really useful 30 years ago!!!!" I have it now and it has made an immesurably positive difference in my life! I was a teenager in the 1990s and whilst I knew that people could be gay or straight or bisexual, and that people could be born with bodies that were intersex or didn't match up to the gender they knew themselves to be, I had no knowledge of aromanticism and I thought being asexual meant a person experienced no "sexy tingles" whatsoever. Until quite recently, I've spent my adult life believing I was a weird, less-than failure but worse than that, because deep down I knew I wasn't "unlucky" in the love and sex department, I flat-out DID NOT WANT any of it: I was not normal. If I'd understood asexuality as a spectrum and known that aromanitics existed I could have saved myself from having to invent "crushes," and saved myself and 3 other people some very awkward one-time only, never to be repeated dates. I could have used brain power and energy for my actual passions instead of trying to work out what was "wrong" with me or feeling like I failed. I would still have spent far too much time explaining my singleness to other people... I want us all to live in a world where no one waits 30 years to figure out their identity and be able to live openly, comfortably and very importantly, safely, as their own best and most authentic self. Thank you for speaking and speaking up.
I think the only aromantic character I've ever seen is Peridot from Steven Universe, and even then the designer had to clarify via twitter she was aroace after the show ended because no one "got the hint"
As an acearo person when it was confirmed I was happy but also confused because I remember it being stated they her relationship with amethyst was described as a first crush
Lillith Clawthorne from The Owl House is a confirmed aromantic asexual. Sadly, it's not mentioned in the show, but the sexualities of the other characters are never mentioned either because the Boiling Isles just seems to be very queer-friendly. She is, however, one of the few adult main characters with no romantic involvement at all, and she cares strongly about her family, which might be hints at her being aroace.
If you like anime the main character of The Disastereous Life of Saiki K comes across VERY aroace. It's never canonically confirmed (which labels and identities rarely are in anime anyway) but he has zero interest in romantic relationships and has acknolwdged that he doesn't experience attraction and doesn't understand/experience romantic love. It's a comedy so there are a lot of situations where other characters are romantically interested in him and its super clear he isn't interested and often tries to foil their attempts to create romantic situations with his superpowers. The show is also told from his pov so it often also makes fun of how silly people can act when they're in love/have crushes lol. It mostly focuses on his relationships with his friends and family, so he still has meaningful connections that aren't romantic or sexual!
I love SU and Peridot but I never bought this one. I'm aro and ace and I didn't get the "hint;" Peridot never seemed especially either to me and the show teased her with both Lapis and Amethyst. It was only a storyboarder and not the creator who confirmed it, too.
In Critical Role, one of Campaign 2's characters is aro/ace. They handled finding this out insanely well. Also as an aro/ace. Id rather have a dog than a constant human roommate. And yes, constant 'you need to get married' is very annoying. Tbf, I live the midwest US and am afab, so I feel like its worse cuz of how women/afab are treated here.
Caduceus Clay is my favorite aro/ace character in popular media! Closely followed by Jo March in Greta Gerwig’s Little Women adaptation. From one aroace to another, sorry you have to deal with all the allonormativity; good luck out there!
Came here to say this. Its such a nice representation from cadeuces too. Just mentioned in passing as "oh I don't do that." And its accepted. It doesn't get "fixed" it doesn't get criticised or made into a character defining thing, it just is.
Okay, that ‘others: DW you’ll find someone one day’ ‘me: being single and happy’ meme seriously got to me. As a person in their late 20s just coming to terms with their identity as aro/ace, these memes made me feel the most normal and comforted. I want my own place with 4 dogs. And hang out with my besties. That will be enough for me! Thanks so much for this vid x
It’s kind of sad that people equate ‘love’ with ‘romance’, because they are not the same thing. You can have one without the other. Aros are not incapable of loving, they just don’t feel *romantic attraction* - you can love people without being romantically interested in them. I’m not sure if I’m on the aro spectrum or not but I do think romance and romantic relationships are kind of overrated in society :/
As an aro ace person, I have so much love for my family, friends, cake and garlic bread. But to be serious dogs are the best. They love you and care for you so much and have the softest cutest fur. I just love dogs!
some people actually do identify as loveless aros and they're also valid and not heartless just because they don't need others for their happiness. love isn't what makes us human and all that :)
Ahhh thank you so much for doing this video Jamie!! As an aroace person I’ve really enjoyed your ace meme videos and I’m so happy you’ve checked out these aro memes too ^_^ The Thing you talk about at 4:20 is called amatonormativity, defined as “the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.” Amatonormativity hurts *everyone* in countless ways (see: the devaluing of platonic and familial relationships, people basing their self-worth on their romantic relationship status, and in more extreme cases, people entering or staying in toxic relationships because they’ve been conditioned to believe that any romantic relationship is better than singlehood), but as you touched on it’s especially frustrating for aro people. On a lighter note, I’m personally not aware of either cats or naps being considered aro culture, I think those are just more of a reflection of general internet culture. However, if you notice in the meme at 6:34 the cat on top is an archer, and archery/arrows are a part of aro culture. I believe frogs are to a lesser extent part of aro culture too, maybe because they’re green? Someone can cmiiw. Non-flowering plants, especially succulents, are also a part of aro culture, I think as a contrast to flowers which typically have romantic associations. (Side note, I love the enthusiasm for exploring a new set of inside jokes, it’s very wholesome.) Thanks again for another great video! 💚
AHHHHH, how I hated that they made that to my boy. I didn't read the comics so I didn't know at first and had no problem with him being with the other character (I don't remember the name of her now xd) but after finding out he is aroace it was so frustrating what they did, like: for what reason ?????? . I felt the same seeing at the end of "Move to heaven" that they clearly made the mc "fall in love" with someone at last minute . Bruh , let my boy be another aro fellow
I told someone (an older family member) yesterday that I think I might be aroace and they have brought up my future boyfriend at least four times since then, (not to mention that I’ve said my whole life that I don’t want to get married) They also said “you haven’t been around boys or girls long enough to know yet.” But like, I’ve been around them my whole life???😭
As an AAA person (aka Aromantic, Asexual, Agender person) I approve of this video ! Thanks for trying to understand and spreading awareness of different sexualities and romantic attraction. It’s crazy how the amatonormativity (I hope I spelled that right) is everywhere in the medias, movies, books and no character can be aromantic, asexual or even genderfluid without being non-human, nerdy bad looking person, or changing to want a partner in the end. I truly hate that it took me traumas to realize my orientation, and it took me so many years to understand who I truly am ! Anyway, thanks Jamie, for being such an incredible human being. I love your videos, they either cheer me up, teach me things or both ! Thanks for your work, and when I have money, I will buy your clothing, to support you and look cool. Kisses from an AAA person🧡💛🤍💙
In the Sherlock Holmes series, Sherlock has huge aroace vibe, that's a good example of aromantic representation, also he's not just innocent or anything like that
Yessss!!! Sherlock is the most relatable character I've ever come across (I'm an ace, greyromantic, autistic violinist!). It just frustrates me that (in the BBC series at least), everyone questions his lack of sexual/romantic attraction like it makes him some kind of weirdo. Plus people are always shipping him with Irene, John, or Molly, as if a platonic relationship wasn't enough...
I trully appreciate that you're giving some attention to Aros too! I recently discovered I'm on the Aro spectrum myself (Demiromantic) and I tried to find fun content to watch but there's very little in comparison to the other orientations.
THERE IS A SHOW!! Sonic the Hedgehog, in Japan!! A lot of people think he is aro ace, but personally I believe he is just aromatic. The reasoning is because he ALLOWS Amy to smother him in love and affection, and although he may see it as a friendly manner, he still allows it to happen!! And, the Western area loves to partner him with LOTS of people, so just Aromantic still allows that sexual area to stay in the area. (Also, I am Aromantic as well, and love this video!!)
as an aromantic who just learned he's aro today, perfect timing! also, so far here are some things i've picked up as "aro culture": GARLIC BREAD, cats, battle axes, and sleep ^^!
As an aromantic who feels the red squiggly line under the word aromantic as I type this due to the likelihood that Google Chrome thinks I mean aromatic is the sign of a wider problem, I appreciate this video.
6:40 I can't comment on aromantic culture as a whole (I only realized I'm probably aro this year), but I certainly do like cats and world domination. Also, I'm glad you pointed out that aromantic and asexual are different things and don't always go together; most of what little aromantic or asexual representation exists is characters who are both aro and ace, and while certainly such characters should exist and aro-ace people are completely valid, I do wish there were more characters who are aromantic but not asexual and vice versa. We need more representation of the aromantic and asexual spectra across the board, but it seems to me (and I'll admit I'm clearly biased in this as I'm obviously more likely to be aware of things relating to me, and I'm aromantic but not asexual) that characters who are aromantic but not asexual are significantly rarer than aro-ace characters, as well as being considerably rarer than characters who are asexual but not aromantic (though to be clear, all of the above are rarer in fiction than they should be). I strongly suspect this is because of our cultural attitude towards sexuality in general: According to our culture, you're "supposed" to fall in love with someone, and any more physical desires regarding them are "supposed" to be a byproduct of that love, rather than having value in and of themselves (apologies for the euphemisms, I'd prefer to speak more directly but I suspect TH-cam will automatically hide this comment if I use the word corresponding to the second through fourth letters of asexual, or even just omit the first a). If you're interested in adult physical activities but not in a romantic relationship, all kinds of assumptions are made about you (the exact assumptions in question depend somewhat on perceived gender, but they're not positive in any case).
I think aro and ace representation is difficult in fiction because if they don't explicitly say they are aro or ace it is difficult to know if they are aro/ace or the author just didn't want to write romance into it For example: many kids books don't have romance but that doesn't mean the character are or aren't aro/ace. The kids in the magic treehouse could be aro/ace and we would never know
@@Nate5 I mean, that's true, but it doesn't really have much bearing on my point. While it is admittedly difficult to convey within a work without risking being hamfisted, I still think we need to try to do better about it. Damaging stereotypes about people on the aro and ace spectra are still far too common; if you're aromantic you're assumed to be either heartless or shallow depending on whether you're also asexual (as well as on your perceived gender), and if you're asexual you're assumed to be childish or a prude. I believe that one of the more effective ways to attack these stereotypes is via effective representation in fiction.
Completely agree, that when there are aro characters in fiction, they are also ace, and I just want aro rep that isn't assholes, since you could argue that there is aro representation in characters (I've really only seen them written as cis men who date women) who have multiple relationships but only for sex, and don't actually have any feelings for their partners. That being the only thing I see when I look for allosexual aromantic rep is really disheartening
Thank you for covering aromantic memes today! I was feeling sad about being aroace today and I needed this reminder of my amazing community. I hope that, if you cover aromantic memes again, you'll encounter some about squishes. I'd love for more people to know about the existence of these amazing platonic crushes
@@ihate_thesmiths_ Thanks! I'm just missing my squish a lot today. I haven't seen her in two months and I swear our friendship would be so much easier if I didn't get so extremely shy around her every time just because she's so amazing to me
Also as for aromantic representation: the main characters of Koisenu Futari. a lot of aros consider Saiki Kusuo from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. to be aro as well, though that isn’t technically “canon” (he does say he doesn’t understand romance though, and goes out of his way to avoid romance). there’s also a list of aro characters on wikipedia so that’s a good reference for anyone who’s wanting rep (though the list isn’t very long)
The list of Aro characters on Wikipedia is _exclusively_ AroAce except for, like, two. Many AroAllos find more in common with AlloAllos than with AroAces.
As an aro I really appreciate this video!!! If you do another one, maybe you could talk a bit about Loveless Aros, who feel disconnected from the concept of love altogether, often due to the social pressure to "compensate" for their aromanticism with other forms of love to avoid being seen as a "monster." I'm not Loveless, but my friend is, and you never really hear lovelessness talked about outside of aro circles.
This is a really interesting concept! I'm not aromantic, but I've never been in a romantic relationship (I'm in my twenties), have a messed up relationship with my family, and have had a lot of negative experiences making friends, and basically have none. I haven't had the best time with human beings and love, and it does bother me that humanity tends to be defined around the fact that you love others or others love you. Love is obviously a great thing, but it feels weird to define a person's humanity or worth around it, like if you don't have a lot of it in your life or don't value it super highly then you're somehow inhuman or something is wrong with you. It creates a bizarre need to compensate, to prove that you're not worthless because look at how many people love you and how many people you love! A person's value does and should exist whether or not others love them, so I really vibe with the idea of being Loveless (if I'm understanding it well). Like I imagine there's a ton of pressure to have your familial and platonic relationships be amazing and spectacular if you're aromantic, to 'prove' that you're not a monster, because somehow the pursuit of romance 'humanizes' people. That's shitty and awful. Your worth as a human being shouldn't be defined by your attachments to human beings, whatever form they take. And aromantic people shouldn't feel pressure to have amazing platonic/familial relationships to compensate for a lack of romantic attraction. I honestly feel like it would be easier for people to question if they are or aren't aromanatic if that pressure didn't exist.
It makes me so happy that you've made an Aromantic memes video, when I first discovered my Aromantic (specifically aroace) identity there were very little resources or communities, but an LGBTQIA+ youtuber like yourself talking about us makes our identity so much more visible and known. Heres a few 'aro things' I can think of to share: white rings on the left middle finger, paper crowns, the ace of spades (used for aroaces), bows and arrows, green hearts, frogs, plants, griffins, and the song 'Never Been In Love by Will Jay'. There might be more, but these are ones I know of, or have found out through a short bit of research! :)
8:21 the disatorous life of Psyki kusuo is an anime featuring an autistic Aroace protagonist centering around the social interactions that Psyki has to go through while also mocking societal norms. It is an anime, but it is really well done and it's funny. Also psyki is a trans man. You can see social interactions such as Girl: why aren't you attracted to women, you're gonna be sad. Psyki: I tried, but I am just not attracted to anyone. Girl: WAIT! ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!?!? psyki: no, I am not, I tested it. Random edgy guy: YOU TESTED IT! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOO!?!?!?!?
1. It's Saiki, not Psyki 2. Saiki is heavily implied to be aroace but it was never stated canonicaly 3. Where did you even get the idea of Saiki being autistic? Because it's the first time I'm hearing this (don't mean it in ill intentions, just curious)
Dear Jamie, as someone who just came out to myself as aroace a few weeks ago, I really appreciate you doing these meme reviews :-) I love them very much. If you do more of them, I'll definitely watch them. They really make you feel seen :-)
I think this is the best way of describing the aro, aroace and ace etc communities: "I dream of romance, and by that, i don't mean i desire it, i just feel society injecting so much romantic culture into my bloodstream that even in the peace of my sleep, i have to think about it, now let me nap in peace."
Honestly, being trans and aro is such a combo, because people are always like "nobody will want to date you if you transition" and I'm like "do you promise???"
Good one 😁 but its not true though
Same! Lmao
Relateble
FR XD
Mood 😂
Alice Oseman, who wrote Heartstopper, also wrote a book called Loveless, which tells the story of a uni freshman figuring out her aro-ace identity! It was a wonderful read
I loved that book! It hit so deep on so many levels though, I was kinda offended Oseman called me out like that 😂
Alice Oseman is also aroace themselves. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that an aroace author somehow became one of the most popular queer authors at the moment
I love that book! I'm so happy it showed a non-repulsed aroace person and showed many queer characters! It was a great book and I highly recommend it to everyone! Even people who aren't asexual or aromantic!
Oh did she!?! I literally discovered Heartstopper yesterday and loved it. I swear this is the first time scrolling through a comment section has actually led me somewhere!
YES! it made me cry because i finally, *finally* felt seen
As an aroace, I can say that there's a LOT of overlap between ace culture and aro culture, probably because we're both so new and so internet-based, and our society conflates sex and love way too much.
Reptiles and cats do tend to show up in a lot more aro memes than ace ones, though. And cake is more of an ace thing.
Don't forget juice boxes tho, those are an explicitly aro thing!
I've also seen succulents come up often as an aro thing
I thought garlic bread waa also an ace thing? Or am I confusing things with one another?
@@SlothDaan No no, it is. It's a shared thing between aces and aros, the cake is more ace tho. And the juice boxes are more aro.
@@joda7697 juice boxes is a thing now? xD I knew about garlic bread but not the juice lol
"Hi, I'm Asexual. I don't feel sexual attraction"
"Hi, I'm Agender. I don't have a gender"
"Hi, I'm Aromantic. I don't feel romantic attraction"
"Hi, I'm Aromatic- I smell like vanilla!"
(I personally am cis f/aro/ace)
Me with a perfume allergy: Down with the aromatics!
Aros, aces and agenders have my full support though. I am friends with all the other as.
hahahahaha that was fun tho
Hi! I'm agender and aroace ^^
"Hi, I'm an Ally, thats what the A in-"
*gets shot*
I'm aromantic, asexual and sometimes, when I just stepped out of the kitchen, or decided to wear perfume, I'm aromatic too!
The reason why aromentic characters aren't main characters in movies is because they would be too powerful, not getting side tract or betrayed by any love interests, just going straight to the point, the whole moving would be half the length, maybe less.
Elsa from Frozen?
Senku from Dr. Stone frfr
You could create a movie where a main aromantic characters weakness is their concern for their deeply connected friends and/or family
As long as the character isn't asexual on top of that, it should be pretty easy to distract the character
Truuueeee
As an aromantic, I can confidently say that our culture is about loving to sleep, grandpets, collecting rocks, smells, plants, music, archery, juice boxes and treating ourselves like gods while simultaneously hating ourselves
this is my friend, please give them likes-
A demiromantic person looking for world domination
As another aromantic, this is very true
and things that smell nice (aromatic) fun story, every time we read the bible in our church and we come across aromatic, my brain always just reads aromantic 🤣 honestly i’d like to smell aromantic so no one tries to date me
That is where you are wrong, I hate sleeping for prolonged periods of time. It is collections of any kind for me, primarily rocks and video game consoles.
@@crinklyonion1410 I love collecting rocks too, I never new this was apart of the culture :0
If they're happy being single, leave them be,
If they're happy being single, leave them be,
If they're happy being single, no need to make them mingle,
If they're happy being single, leave them be.
LOVE this!!
So much this!
clap clap
i tried so hard to read this like "happy birthday to you"
i legit clapped
As a panromantic person, being almost an opposite of aromantic people when it comes to attraction, I have nothing but respect and love for the aro community ❤️
As a certanly ace person that tries to figurie out if they are aro, same
Poo poo
@Halloween All Year Round Is that over the garden wall?
as a person who's lately been questioning if they're panromantic or aromantic, i claim this energy
I'll be honest, I read that as you being a panoramic person. I thought you were a really really wide photo😄
As an aromantic allosexual hearing Jamie say "they can also be asexual or they can not be asexual" made me very happy considering I feel like we get even less representation than the aroaces do. Most people think that it's always a 2-for-1 deal but sometimes it isn't, sometimes we're just aro.
Most people don't realize there even _is_ a 2 to separate. The Split Attraction Model makes pretty much everything in human society make a little bit more sense and it should really be recognized more often.
@@BloodrealmX exactly! as an aroace who is fully aromantic but might not be fully ace (still figuring it out), society makes it seem like you can’t have sex without love or love without sex. I see a lot more ace rep than aro or aroace rep (even so, there’s barely any ace rep anyways), so us aromantics definitely need more representation.
yup so true! Im aro (more specifically demi) and I always have to explain and people (even in the community) dont always understand.
You and me, we are very alike 😏🙏
It is odd, just having looked around TH-cam and TikTok it’s almost always combined with asexuality. I guess it’s because asexuality can be boiled down more easily into not wanting the hanky panky. Whereas aromanticism is a lot harder to pin down (especially for aro people).
as an aromantic, i can confirm that sleep, cats, and arrows are aro culture.
(also shoutout to jamie for talking about amatonormativity! it's always nice to see people, especially allos, spreading awareness about it.)
Also world domination, we've got that in common with the aces
I love the aromantic colors for your profile
@@argenteus8314yeah but unlike the aces our idea of world dominion is to go into a millennia long hibernation to unlock our true power
respect to you for your rivulet profile picture fellow rain world enjoyer
Frogs. Don’t forget about the frogs. That’s my favorite part.
8:18 Lilith clawthorne from the owl house. Canonically confirmed to be aromantic/asexual. Never sad or looked down upon for not being interested in a relationship. A fun character and shameless nerd, made best friends with a lovecraftian eldritch horror, and has plenty of plot relevance and strong platonic/familial ties to others. One of my favorite characters.
Oh my gosh! I didn't know that! That makes me so happy!
Yes! Was coming into the comments to say! Cool Aunt Lilith is awesome.
Yesss!!! She was already one of my favorites and then I found that out! Warms my aro-ace soul. There's also some book characters- though once again they're aro-ace. My favorite being Felicity from The Gentleman's Guide of Vice and Virtue. She wants be a doctor and does some pirate things, but also really doesn't care to be in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship
Alastor from hazbin Hotel too!
I love cool Aunt Lillith! The fact that she and Hooty wrote each other letters while she was away makes them absolute friendship goals
I am so excited for aro memes, the aro community is often grouped with the ace community or completely overlooked.
As someone who’s both
Yeah Aro is seen often overlooked compared to ace
Even in Merch Ace has more than Aro
So often there are aro memes labeled as ace memes
Yeahhh... It gets real annoying to see especially when you're questioning and don't really see a lot of information about the aro and aro-spec...
As someone who think they are bisexual but aro it gets kinda annoying
Yeah. Mostly in media it is mostly ace or aro ace. Barely any aromantic stuff. Maybe because someone who is as is fits in more (being about sexuality)
As an aromantic, bisexual and genderfluid/genderfaun ( fluctuating between masculine and nonbinary genders but never feminine ones), I'm very pleased to see this video. Seeing Jamie doing content for different groups in the LGBTQ+ spectrum makes me very happy.
Ooooo I've never heard of genderfaun before. I think I found a new label for myself 😅
what is genderfaun? i have never heard of this identity
To those who don't know, genderfaun is when someone is genderfluid between all genders aside from female, feminine, and female-aligning genders!
@@graycatgoddess1059 ohhh coool ! sounds like me
Glad I could teach you!
As an aro person, I can say that I love cats, but I can't talk for the whole community.
Throughout my life I've often heard this idea of ending up old and single with tons of cats though. And other people seem to think that's miserable, for some reason?
Personally I have embraced it, because it sounds real nice to live in a little cottage all alone in the woods with lots of cats. That's just peace, honestly, couldn't ask for anything else.
+1 aromantic "why would I be upset living with my lovely kitties - sounds great ^.^"
Yes to all of that! Just throw in some dogs for me
Crazy Cat Lady is goals honestly. Except I'm agender, so strike the lady part
You are my platonic soulmate cause this is exactly my life story 😭
My dream of a happy adult life as a child wasn't being married with kids or anything, but having and living with like 20 cats all at the same time.
Aromantic culture is memes, unconditionally loving the color green, exhaustedly and repeatedly explaining what a QPR is, "I'll move into a cabin alone in the woods with a garden and my cats", headcanoning any and every character we get our hands on as arospec, and desperately attempting to create some sort of media (game, show, book) with more aromantic representation because holy heck do we need it.
Also, I would totally love more videos of this topic! Also, I think something that's important to bring up amatonormativity. Not many people know what that word means, and it's so important to understand what it is and how in grained it is in our society to the point where it's nearly impossible to escape that viewpoint, and how it's so damaging to aros, aces, and anyone who doesn't conform to the societal expectations of a traditional relationship.
@@BloodrealmX I'm pretty sure that is mostly aromantics? what part exactly makes it for only aroaces? plus, aroaces are aromantic. so it is aromantic culture. it doesn't make sense to exclude us becuase we identify with another label alongside aromantic.
I think that one thing that is misunderstood about aro people is that they just don't feel romantic attraction/romantic love, it doesn't mean that they can't feel love at all. There are so many different types of love, romantic is just one of them. 🥰
True. However, some aromantic people (called 'loveless aromantics' don't identify with the cultural concept of love
I for one looove my friends! I wouldn't want an exclusive relationship with any of them but I'd do about anything for my people. Also, you can be physically affectionate and aromantic at the same time, works for me :))
that's amazing! thanks. today i learned something new
@@cecilie... Oh yeah, me too! I just thought that it should be mentioned that some Aros don't vibe with the social concept of love, since a lot of times they get left out
Also some of us DO feel sexual attraction. Not the same thing! (I'm not ace
For any Aro who needs to hear it
I love your independence
I love your self sufficiency
I love your self care
I love your self respect
I love your friendship
I love your hard work
I love you [platonically]
YOU ARE ENOUGH
for yourself, and your loved ones
YOU ARE VALID
🖤💚🖤💚🖤
That's so sweet!! Love you too
@@nira09i I'll have to remember that one!
@@nira09i Gonna start using no romo
Thank you! You too! No Romo ofc
thank you so much
I saw aromantic and instantly clicked. I'm obsessed with my representation
Edit: To clear up some confusion, I'm Aroace, but I never really see aro representation so I was happy to see it
Hello, fellow AroAce!
@@gingerfool AroAce is both Aromantic + Asexual. This person only said they were Aromantic.
@@Lunilumo they have aroace flag, though, I'm pretty sure.
Same ☺️
@@Lunilumo I'm Aroace, but I see a lot more ace rep than aro rep, so I was happy to see aro stuff
the phenomenon you’re describing at 4:04 is called amatonormativity and it affects everyone to varying degrees! youll mostly only see discussions of it in aromantic and polyamorous communities though, because most allo monogamous people dont ever think about it that deeply. as soon as you start looking its everywhere and it is indeed VERY annoying :)
learned a new word today, thanks!!
Interesting
True.
3:04 "Don't worry, you'll find someone"
Me, an aroace: Is this a threat
real
Real
A date is rapidly approaching your location
@@Sup-nerds-q4v ive realized a bit too late that I cant make a joke about this without it coming off as a hate comment without explaining the joke and making it unfunny and I blame aphobes for that
@@BrentKenneth no I was just wondering. I'm aroace too, though
As an aromantic who is learning German, I am very glad that I now know how to say "I don't love you, I only love mayonnaise".
Side note: it's a bit weird that aromantic is marked as a misspelled word by Google.
Other side note: I don't actually like mayonnaise.
It's not about the mayonnaise, it's about sending a message
Google thinks we just smell nice I guess 🤷♀️ (AromaTic instead of aromaNTic)
I would understand it as a biochemistry student (aromatic) but "a romantic" is not what we want...
As an aromantic German (not actually but it gets confusing) who absolutely loves mayonnaise so much, that one of my nicknames was "Mayonnaise " I think this very nice
Im a native german speaker, i cam provide the word for a condiment you actually like if you want lol
earlier this summer, i read “loveless” by Alice Oseman…the main character is aroace and i honestly cried reading it. it was the first time i felt like i really and truly saw myself in a book.
i read it this summer too! its really such a beautiful book i love it so much
@@neptunemary_ it is!!
Loveless really helped me figure out I was aroace, Georgia reflected everything I was feeling inside.
@@whatgenderami i also just realized what your username is and wow what a mood
I need to check this out
Being on the aromantic spectrum (demi-romantic) I can relate a lot. When I came out and when I told my mom I was in a relationship she said "You never talked about being interested in anyone before.". Yes, because I was so deep in the closet and indoctrinated into a religion that I feared talking to you on the topic.
I didn’t realize I was on the ace/aro spectrum until my late 30s. I wish it had been a term and been seen as valid when I was young.
When I was in middle school and all my friends were “boy-crazy” and I felt no attraction to any guys, I worried I was gay (super conservative family and town). I faked having crushes because I was tired of being bullied for being “a lesbian”.
The thing is, it didn’t occur to me that I couldn’t be gay either since I didn’t have any crushes on girls.
As I got older I had a couple crushes but they weren’t as intense as my friends seemed to feel. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.
I eventually fell in love, got married, and assumed my low libido was due to me having PCOS. But even after it was treated I didn’t feel much different. A couple years after that is when I discovered the ace community online and realized “holy shit! There’s not something wrong with me!”
@@Annie_Annie__ i had a (not super close) friend from the church i grew up in that talked once about something similar. she said that all through middle and high school she never found any boys that she liked, and it made her wonder if she was a lesbian. if i'd been a little more confident i would have asked if she meant that she'd had crushes on girls before, or if she just didn't have crushes at all.
she's dating a guy now and i really hope she's not ace or lesbian or anything… cause if she's not straight that is not an easy life to have (she's still active in that church and it is NOT an accepting one)
The trope of the "woman who doesn't want to be tied down" or the "confirmed bachelor" are both common in media. But, these are usually side characters and we get few if any details about their lives, or much insight into how they feel about being single. Certainly in the former case, there's almost always a lot of pity towards the character within the work. In the latter case it's usually more tongue-clicking. To make matters worse, fandom often erases possible aromantic characters unless that word is explicitly used: by shipping the bachelors with each other (and the spinsters with each other).
Prior to 1969, both of those _could_ refer to someone aro and/or ace … but they _could_ also be codewords for lesbian or gay, respectively. This is not an attempt to erase aro-identity. It's a statement of how, from the 1920s through the 1950s, "confirmed bachelors" in radio, movies, and later, TV, were often extremely subtly queer-coded. [The subtlety was needed to avoid the wrath of the censors.] The recognition of "aromantic" as a distinct identity wasn't around even back in the 1990s.
Again, not saying that "aromantic" was just invented, we just didn't have a word for it until the past couple of decades.
There are, nevertheless, a few cases that are better interpreted as aro/ace rather than a same-sex relationship. The old TV sitcom, "My 3 Sons," comes to mind. The premise is that the father of the titular 3 sons lost his wife to illness [still commonplace in the 1950s and 1960s]. An old war-buddy of his, Charlie, moved in thereafter to help him raise the boys. [By "war buddy", I mean someone that the main-character served together with in World War 2 - this was Still Very Much A Thing in the 1950s-1960s.] Now trying to ship Uncle Charlie and the main-character makes sense _only before_ you watch the show. The interaction between the 2 adult men is nothing but platonic friends. And throughout the series, I don't recall Uncle Charlie ever getting into any relationships or romances. So this is a case where a "confirmed bachelor" very, very much looks aro/ace.
"woman who doesn't want to be tied down" I'm not a woman but that sounds pretty kinky, not sure why people ain't into it /j
@@d33p345 “tied down” as in having made vows to someone/ living with someone. As in a betrothal or marriage. Nothing to do with bondage ;)
@@John_Weiss just to disprove a singular point here, when you said "Again, not saying that "aromantic" was just invented, we just didn't have a word for it until the past couple of decades.", I felt compelled to remind you that the term "monosexual" was invented at the same tine as the term "homosexual" and basically means the same as asexual. while yes aro and ace aren't the same, I just wanted to clarify that there **was** at least some knowledge on the existence of a-spec people.
'Confirmed bachelor' was a code word for a gay man that was known to be gay, not just suspected of it
Honestly, society needs to normalise being single in general. I'm not aro but being a woman over 25 people keep expecting me to have someone that I can later move with, marry and have kids with, so I can't imagine how infuriating it must be for aro people. I wish you all cake and naps and fulfilling platonic relationships !
much appreciated, but some aros are also aplatonic, and/or don’t prioritize platonic relations either
Thank you. I might be aroace and I might have a platonic partner, but I still really like the cake and sleep
Aro culture is growing up pretending to have crushes on your schoolmates so people around you don’t think your weird or lonely and then coming out as Aro in the future only to get the response of “you’ve had PLENTY of crushes , what are you talking about?”
I have definitely picked random people to be "crushing on", with little to no reasoning. I don't think it was even for social approval, since I went out of my way to make sure people *knew* I was weird.
I would pick the cutest kid in class and fake crush on them and try to convince myself I love them
I used to pick random people to have a crush on until the teacher sat us together. Never again.
i tried to convince myself i actually had a crush on that person...
😔
As a pan demi romantic asexual person who feels like a walking contradiction I approve this message
Cool, me too
I feel you bro. I'm a pan oriented aroace xD
This is literally me. I am ace pan demiaro and I have a hard time relating to the aro community because it’s all about not needing love but personally I want love it’s just hard for me to find. 😅
@@Addy0510 i feel exactly this lmao
Omg you can say you're a pandemic
An aro meme episode?! Couldn't be happier!! So glad to see aromantic memes here, I feel like a lot of people, even some in the LGBTQ+ community don't know/understand/acknowledge our existence. And not to mention that people always get asexuality and aromanticism confused. Thanks for spreading awareness
Oh gods I hate when people confuse being Aro and being Ace. Like bicth I want that romance, not that sex and my aro pals want that sex not that romance (unless they are aroace in which case they want fuckin' neither)
@@AoifeForrester Well put. AroAce 💚💜
@@AoifeForrester Same! Except I’m the opposite, I’ll take friends with benefits any day but being in a romantic thing? Urgh
@The Werewolf of Somalia Well, they don't have it as bad as other communities, but the fact is the cultural norm is still being in a couple, and some countries give a harder time to people who are single, like for taxes and stuff.
@The Werewolf of Somalia Huh?
Regarding 5:11
It's crazy how much society really pushes being in a romantic relationship. I'm not aroace, but I am happily single, and have been for 2½ years now. I haven't felt like getting into any kind of relationship, during this time, but my family keep saying stuff like "don't be scared of new relationships just because your last one ended"!" "You might meet someone at uni!" "Maybe you'll find someone soon" and I'm like "no, right now I'm happy being single! Why does nobody seem to get that!?" Like, I identify as cis-het, but right now I'm feeling the single life, and it's pissing me off that so many people are trying to push me to start finding a relationship again. I can't imagine how irritating it must be for aro-ace people to deal with that constantly for their whole lives.
yes! i'm aro but yeah people think we're "afraid" of commitment or intimacy or whatever, like we want to date but we're afraid to, like no i literally don't want to in the first place. even that isn't quite accurate, like being aro doesn't MEAN you don't want a romantic relationship in general, it means no romantic attraction, and being romantically attracted to someone is what would lead to wanting to date them. so that's usually a RESULT of being aro.
Your phrasing suggests that you're under the all-too-common misconception that all Aromantics are Aromantic Asexual (AroAce). This is not the case. You can be Aromantic Allosexual (AroAllo), just like you can be Alloromantic Asexual (AlloAce).
There's a word for this I just learned recently: amatanormativity! It's annoying for us aros, it's absolutely toxic for allos! Not that it's trivial for us, but the whole hating your wife boomer thing is a direct result of it, so...
I know it pissed me off so much we banned the question "do you have a girlfriend yet?" Because no matter how many times I explain the only reason why it was banned was because the relized how much it pissed me off
Jamie covering aromantic memes is everything to me! I'm aromantic and, as tough as it was to finally accept myself originally, now about 2 years later or so, I've come to realize I love being aromantic! I'm aromantic and asexual to be exact! Thank you Jamie! I'm so happy to see this big piece of my identity represented!
The worst microaggression isn't "You will find someone one day", but rather "Why are you still single?". Explaining yourself for who you are: Not fun.
Being demiro makes it even stranger, cause I do have ex-partners that cloud the issue.
Agreed, the "why" question is terrible. No matter what variation I give on "Because I want to be/ I'm happier this way/ I'm not interested in dating/ etc" they always come back with, "Oh, but you'll change your mind someday!"
The worst one I've personally received was "Don't worry, God has a plan for your life." (I'm also an atheist.) The level of condescension in that was just... 🤬🤬🤬 I was at work and that person was my patient, so there was literally nothing I could say, or even show on my face.
I do have good news for my younger aro peeps out there, though. People will eventually ease up on this crap as you get older. It may never go away entirely, but there does come a point where they stop trying to tell you you're wrong about yourself. At least, this has been my experience. People do still ask me why I've never married, and I tell them I've never wanted to. I am 45 years old, so any halfway reasonable person will recognize how silly it would be to give me the "you'll change your mind" line. They just say, "Oh" and look confused. I'm sure many of them are thinking how lonely and pitiable I must be, but the vast majority have the grace not to say it out loud. So, yeah. It does get marginally better. Small comfort, maybe, but it's something.
I'm also demiromantic and I feel thissss. People always ask how dating life is, and I end up having to explain why it doesn't work for me every time!
Especially at my age (early twenties) people push the narrative that it's normal to have found life partner already, to the point I feel like I have to start looking. But every time I'm reminded I just don't work like that, and I'm actually very happy being single.
I'm not Demi, but because of the pressure of society, I have a few exes and even a failed marriage in my history.
It was actually an argument in my marriage that caused me to realize I'm aro. He was like "You always nag that I need to keep up with my end of what we agreed upon at the beginning of the relationship--marriage isn't some contract!!" and I had to stop the argument and be like.... "okay wait... full stop... isn't it though? Why else do people get together? What do you mean you love me more than your friends? Do you hate your friends? Why do you think I gave you a pros and cons list of material items and behaviors that you would get and have to live with in exchange for dating me? Isn't that dating?"
Only to have him sit me down and explain romantic love and attachment and me being like .... "THAT"S NOT JUST HALLMARK MOVIE MAGIC????" I have always loved the serendipity of romance in novels and movies--it's cute as fuck--but that was always like wizardry, spells, and monsters in any other movie...
Yeah, always a fun exercise in life, having to continually justify one's own existence for the comfort of others. Yuck.🤢🤮
having to justify your own decisions is ridiculous. like aro people end up having to justify their own identity and alloro people who are happy being single are treated like they can't make their own decisions. it's so weird
This makes me so, so happy. I often feel forgotten as an aromantic and worry that people don't see me as part of the lgbt community based on my romanticism. I'm trans, pansexual, and aromantic, but I usually see aromantic stuff get talked about the least of my labels. So this really cheered me up on a stressful day.
me too!
same! hooray!
Cheers!
I am a cis het aro. I never feel like a part of the larger LGBTQIA+ community, only one-on-one with people who say they think of me as part of the community. Other aros I know have other LGBTQIA+ identities that allow them to feel more like they should be there. I still feel like my cis het identities make me an "ally," not a member.
@@pocketsizedcg You absolutely are a part of the community and the cool queers know it
As a person who used to identity as an aroace, full respect for you guys who are actually aro and/or ace unlike me 👍
I'm a triple A
Agender
Aromantic
Asexual
@@Schnort I'm a quintuple A, asexual, aromantic, agender, anxiety, and ADHD (I might be autistic too)
@@Looking_Up_At_The_Stars I was solely mentioning queer label As, but go off
@@Schnort I am also a 3A battery also with extra anxiety
@@Schnort i know but I just find it funny how much of my identity starts with an a.
When I was still living at home and very paranoid about being closeted, I named my playlist “aerospace” because it was close enough and I still think that’s the coolest inside joke ever.
im doing that
The thing that I've realized after coming out as aroace is that I do want a relationship, I do want someone to call my partner, but the issue is I know I can't share those feelings of attraction that society expects me to. It's not always easy, but that's why I love these light-hearted videos that bring awareness to these identities. Thanks Jamie!
Same here! . From another aroace fellow who do wants to be in relationship and sometimes (but not often at all) feels lonely, I often find it hard even though I haven't tried to be other than friends with someone more than just once. It's difficult because you already have society telling you you should experience this types of attraction but also you have yourself sometimes telling that you are not being fair of something like that when wanting a relationship but not experiencing those attractions.
"What is your type?"
Me, an aroace, without hesitation: dragon
Yay! Aro memes finally! I’m aroace and it makes me happy to see you covering this subreddit, thank you Jamie!
A little thing that I wanted to share: a partner in a platonic way can be described as an “aromate”, isn’t that so cute?
SKSKSK I love it.
As an aroace in qpr i'm gonna use that from now own.
O gosh I hope I remember that :O it’s very cutee
OMG I LOVE IT😭
I believe the "official" term for a queerplatonic partner is "Zucchini", but "aromate" is so much better!
As an aroace, I'm so happy that Jamie gets it. It really is frustrating to see the overwhelming media focus on romance, the lack of good aro representation, and their effects on societal attitudes towards aros, or even non-aro single people. I'm sure romantic love is wonderful to a lot of people, and they could not imagine living without it, but it's not nearly a universal or defining human experience.
Also: the only good aro representation I've seen in popular media is in the newer Percy Jackson books, in Reyna's character. I genuinely don't know anything else. Loveless by Alice Oseman is also really good, but sadly it's mostly only known in queer circles so I wouldn't consider it popular media. I'm literally starving for good aro/ace representation.
There's a character in The Owl House that's canonically aro! She's plot relevant and nerdy and cool and I love her! Her name is Lilith Clawthorne
YES Loveless!!! It is becoming more popular in the bookish community's as everyone reads Heartstopper then looks through her back list. I recommend Loveless left right and centre because out obsession with romantic love over platonic, parental etc is crazy! I adored this book, I cried, loved all the ships (best being friend-ship) Hearstopper 2 TV series is rumored to have a character either Aro or Ace, not sure which one.
@@DollFaceThornback Really need to get my kids watching this, someone said this the other day. Very cool 👍
Interesting...I've read Percy Jackson like 10 years ago when and didn't pick up on that at all.
I plan to re-read the books in the forseeable future though...so I'm curious to see how obvious it will be to me now that I'm older and also aware that I'm aro myself🤔🙂
@@zdiegi5493 I'm not sure if the book where that's revealed was out 10 yrs ago? It's at the very end of the heroes of Olympus series iirc
As an aroace I always have to listen to everyone telling me: "nah you just haven't found the one yet" or "this will change eventually". Talking against it doesn't change anything so I just smile and say nothing.
I wish you a very happy single life.
People assuming you can't be single by choice, it has to be because you're pityful. "You will meet someone good" oh I did, more than once, husband material men, I've been stupidly lucky in that area, still didn't want to plan my life with them.
Omg so real. I've had 30 minute conversations that still ended with the other person not getting it.
That sounds a lot like people who hear about my exit plans for next year. "I hope you change your mind" 🙄🙄🙄🙄
4:15 Can confirm. Constant source of infuriation. Even more fun at weddings and other formal events. Can’t take a +1, because they’ll assume you two are an item. Can’t not take a +1 because you’ll spend the entire time with everyone trying to set you up.
bring a cat. everyone will love your cat and see that you are happy. win-win. slight downside of taking the attention from the newlyweds but they'll understand lol
@@ahakatie And also of the cat disappearing into the woods. Or the walls.
As an aromantic, asexual and nonbinary, I can confirm that I personally don't feel incomplete xD It's really annoying when other people (especially family) say that I'll find someone someday and then I'll be happy. But tbh I'm already happy and I don't need a partner to feel that way. I've got great friends who support and accept me. There's nothing more I could wish for. I also think there should be more aro representation, not just aromantic memes. Even though a lot of them are quite funny^^
I too am aro ace and agender. I'm also 67. There is no you'll find someone. No I will not find someone. I am happy. 💜💚
This was also the meme that really made me 💖💖💖 as an agender aro/allo
Fellow nb aroace!! 🤝
Oh heck, aroace enbies, gather gather! xD
I'm also aro/ace and nb/genderfluid.
Hey Jamie! I don't know if you read your comments, but I just wanted to let you know that you have really helped me through this last year, and I am forever grateful to you. You deserve everything good coming your way!❤
I love your username and pfp
I agree! He’s just great and helpful to so many!
@@PartsOfABox Thank you!
As a demiromantic/aromantic asexual and agender non-binary person I appreciate this video. It’s funny that I didn’t receive the pressure from family or friends about finding that one person who I could settle down with. I’m actually perfectly content single. But recently I got to know somebody else who has discovered that he is demiromantic and asexual like me so I might consider starting a relationship with him.
As long as the person I want to spend time with is also part of the same romantic and sexual orientations as my own, I am more likely to feel more at ease of wanting to be with them whether it’s friendship or a relationship.
Well I wasn’t expecting to rack up the likes. Thank you kind people.
Oh, I've got all the same identities too! You see a lot of people who share one or two of your identities, but not so often all of them. Just wanted to say hi from another demiromantic/aromantic asexual agender enby. I usually just sum it all up as Queer to make things faster. 😂
@@AbstractQueer cool!
Triple A club is cool. I'm not a member (usually), but I appreciate it.
To all the Aro’s out there, any time someone says “you’ll find someone” tell them you did. And they’ll be like “OHMYGOD REALLYYYYYYY? WHO????” And then say with a deadpan face in the most bored way possible: “me”
OR YOU COULD SAY REALLY EXCITEDLY: “my (insert pet here)” or “my (insert friend here)” although I would caution you with the friend ons because then the person could annoy you with further questioning.
I’m not Aro, I’m Ace and Genderfluid, but I thought this could help.
I want a rom com, but the mc is Aroace. And the entire anime is the mc trying to explain that they don’t feel that way about people, and at the end instead of the mc “turning straight” or smth the mc and the “love interest” will just become besties for life
disastrous life of Saiki K
9:21 yes! platonic love is so real and so wonderful! thanks for covering this I feel seen 💚
Amatonormativity sucks.
As an ex Mormon, I am reminded of their teaching that the only way to enter the highest tier of heaven is to be in a marriage (between a cis man and a cis woman) officiated within one of the Church's temples, so as to last "for time and all eternity."
In addition that’s also homophobia n transphobia. Because they don’t agree with all romance, just cis straight romance.
If anything I don’t even know if it’s about “romance” to them, but moreso “performing their duties” or whatever.
Hell has all the banned books so it's clearly the better option anyway.
@@RaisonLychi Yes, I don't read much, I can do that when I go to hell. After all, I'll have all eternity to read the forbidden libraries
Famous sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage, likes to point out the following about marriage: Until the 20th-Century, "Until Death Do Us Part," was only for 20, maybe 30 years.
And as I point out: Even putting infant-mortality aside, pre-20th-Century if you survived childhold and reached age-15, you'd still only live to 45-55. [Unless you were royalty or an aristocrat - they always lived longer.] So yes, prior to the past 200 years or so, people lived shorter lives, making it easier for a couple to stay together, since they only needed to do so for 20 years instead of half-a-century.
100%. Try growing up with that 🤬 as an aroace teen who didn’t even know aroace was a thing, thinking you were somehow horribly defective because you wanted nothing to do with a spouse for this life let alone all eternity.
I remember picking up a book and feeling interested because it told a story of ‘an extraordinary friendship’ (between a teenager and elderly person) and I thought “cool a book that isn’t about romance! Let’s read! Ngl I felt kind of disappointed when a romantic thread entered the story, but Jamie’s right, it does seem inevitable that it weaves its way into most stories that get told :(
What book was it?
The aroace author Claudie Arseneault keeps a database of books with aromantic and asexual characters. Once you know where to find them, there are quite some stories with no romantic storyline, or at least not in the romance-normative sense of the word
@@Alicia-zf3nq oh that's awesome!
That's why I stopped reading. Used to love it, but then when I became I teenager, I would pick up a sci-fi book and romantic interactions would go on for ages and I'd be like "this is just a romance novel with a sci-fi backdrop". Thankfully now that I'm an adult I've found sci-fi books for my age again that don't focus on romance for pages at a time.
"I don't think I've ever seen aromantic representation in movies or tv shows." *yeets Alastor in your face*
Thanks Jamie! I'm aroace and I cannot emphasise enough just how important it is that we acknowledge and talk about all of the identies we have under our rainbow. In a video of yours, some time ago, your covered/mentioned asexual or aromantic identities and I thought "Hang on a minute...THAT'S ME!" I did more research to better understand this (new to me) information, and I'm sure I wandered round for a few months muttering: "This information would have been really useful 30 years ago!!!!" I have it now and it has made an immesurably positive difference in my life!
I was a teenager in the 1990s and whilst I knew that people could be gay or straight or bisexual, and that people could be born with bodies that were intersex or didn't match up to the gender they knew themselves to be, I had no knowledge of aromanticism and I thought being asexual meant a person experienced no "sexy tingles" whatsoever. Until quite recently, I've spent my adult life believing I was a weird, less-than failure but worse than that, because deep down I knew I wasn't "unlucky" in the love and sex department, I flat-out DID NOT WANT any of it: I was not normal. If I'd understood asexuality as a spectrum and known that aromanitics existed I could have saved myself from having to invent "crushes," and saved myself and 3 other people some very awkward one-time only, never to be repeated dates. I could have used brain power and energy for my actual passions instead of trying to work out what was "wrong" with me or feeling like I failed. I would still have spent far too much time explaining my singleness to other people...
I want us all to live in a world where no one waits 30 years to figure out their identity and be able to live openly, comfortably and very importantly, safely, as their own best and most authentic self. Thank you for speaking and speaking up.
As a recently discovered greyaro, I’m happy to see an aro video from you :)
I think the only aromantic character I've ever seen is Peridot from Steven Universe, and even then the designer had to clarify via twitter she was aroace after the show ended because no one "got the hint"
As an acearo person when it was confirmed I was happy but also confused because I remember it being stated they her relationship with amethyst was described as a first crush
Lillith Clawthorne from The Owl House is a confirmed aromantic asexual. Sadly, it's not mentioned in the show, but the sexualities of the other characters are never mentioned either because the Boiling Isles just seems to be very queer-friendly. She is, however, one of the few adult main characters with no romantic involvement at all, and she cares strongly about her family, which might be hints at her being aroace.
If you like anime the main character of The Disastereous Life of Saiki K comes across VERY aroace. It's never canonically confirmed (which labels and identities rarely are in anime anyway) but he has zero interest in romantic relationships and has acknolwdged that he doesn't experience attraction and doesn't understand/experience romantic love. It's a comedy so there are a lot of situations where other characters are romantically interested in him and its super clear he isn't interested and often tries to foil their attempts to create romantic situations with his superpowers. The show is also told from his pov so it often also makes fun of how silly people can act when they're in love/have crushes lol. It mostly focuses on his relationships with his friends and family, so he still has meaningful connections that aren't romantic or sexual!
I love SU and Peridot but I never bought this one. I'm aro and ace and I didn't get the "hint;" Peridot never seemed especially either to me and the show teased her with both Lapis and Amethyst. It was only a storyboarder and not the creator who confirmed it, too.
In Critical Role, one of Campaign 2's characters is aro/ace. They handled finding this out insanely well.
Also as an aro/ace. Id rather have a dog than a constant human roommate. And yes, constant 'you need to get married' is very annoying. Tbf, I live the midwest US and am afab, so I feel like its worse cuz of how women/afab are treated here.
Caduceus Clay is my favorite aro/ace character in popular media! Closely followed by Jo March in Greta Gerwig’s Little Women adaptation.
From one aroace to another, sorry you have to deal with all the allonormativity; good luck out there!
That's was a great moment!!
Came here to say this. Its such a nice representation from cadeuces too. Just mentioned in passing as "oh I don't do that." And its accepted. It doesn't get "fixed" it doesn't get criticised or made into a character defining thing, it just is.
i’m an aroace and i have a lot of love for all my aromantics, asexuals and aroaces. you guys are awesome you deserve everything, don’t give up 💟
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?" I felt so understood!
Okay, that ‘others: DW you’ll find someone one day’ ‘me: being single and happy’ meme seriously got to me.
As a person in their late 20s just coming to terms with their identity as aro/ace, these memes made me feel the most normal and comforted.
I want my own place with 4 dogs. And hang out with my besties. That will be enough for me!
Thanks so much for this vid x
Yes I don't feel romantic attraction.
Yes I smell nice.
No matter if autocorrect ruins your point, I still get representation.
Yes I smell nice
Yes I feel romantic attraction sometimes
I have stolen representation from many a person and made it my own
1:21 the way that those exact words were my senior quote for high school before I even knew aromantic existed 😭
Aromantic culture from what I've seen is having a ton of plants and a love of sleep and cats.
i had a friend, and we're both LGBTQ and we'd take platonic naps together
Genie: You will not die a virgin
Aroace person: you have unlocked immortality
It’s kind of sad that people equate ‘love’ with ‘romance’, because they are not the same thing. You can have one without the other. Aros are not incapable of loving, they just don’t feel *romantic attraction* - you can love people without being romantically interested in them.
I’m not sure if I’m on the aro spectrum or not but I do think romance and romantic relationships are kind of overrated in society :/
Definitely true
As an aro ace person, I have so much love for my family, friends, cake and garlic bread. But to be serious dogs are the best. They love you and care for you so much and have the softest cutest fur. I just love dogs!
some people actually do identify as loveless aros and they're also valid and not heartless just because they don't need others for their happiness. love isn't what makes us human and all that :)
yes I love my friends and I'm tired to hear that love is romance I'm angry
@@christinewalker7242 This is literally me. I’ll be single with a house full of dogs and cake and I will be living my best life.
The first little shock moment when your nickname is Ally and you read the title 😂
Ahhh thank you so much for doing this video Jamie!! As an aroace person I’ve really enjoyed your ace meme videos and I’m so happy you’ve checked out these aro memes too ^_^
The Thing you talk about at 4:20 is called amatonormativity, defined as “the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.” Amatonormativity hurts *everyone* in countless ways (see: the devaluing of platonic and familial relationships, people basing their self-worth on their romantic relationship status, and in more extreme cases, people entering or staying in toxic relationships because they’ve been conditioned to believe that any romantic relationship is better than singlehood), but as you touched on it’s especially frustrating for aro people.
On a lighter note, I’m personally not aware of either cats or naps being considered aro culture, I think those are just more of a reflection of general internet culture. However, if you notice in the meme at 6:34 the cat on top is an archer, and archery/arrows are a part of aro culture. I believe frogs are to a lesser extent part of aro culture too, maybe because they’re green? Someone can cmiiw. Non-flowering plants, especially succulents, are also a part of aro culture, I think as a contrast to flowers which typically have romantic associations. (Side note, I love the enthusiasm for exploring a new set of inside jokes, it’s very wholesome.)
Thanks again for another great video! 💚
“You’ll find someone soon!!” *looks under my couch to find a bleeding corpse as the girl smiles creepily “oh… oh god…”
As someone who is asexual, I’m very happy that the aros are finally getting the love they deserve!
this man is a national treasure and we must defend him with our lives
International. Global. Galactic!
Jammie, did you know that Jughead is Aromantic in the original Archie comics? The live action remake made him not only romantic, but also sexual...
AHHHHH, how I hated that they made that to my boy. I didn't read the comics so I didn't know at first and had no problem with him being with the other character (I don't remember the name of her now xd) but after finding out he is aroace it was so frustrating what they did, like: for what reason ?????? . I felt the same seeing at the end of "Move to heaven" that they clearly made the mc "fall in love" with someone at last minute . Bruh , let my boy be another aro fellow
6:46 me, having just gotten up from my chair to find a more comfortable position to watch this video on my phone with my clear phone case:
wow, the last one is so relatable, when I found out my friends felt incomplete without a partner and I didn't even knew it was possible...
I told someone (an older family member) yesterday that I think I might be aroace and they have brought up my future boyfriend at least four times since then, (not to mention that I’ve said my whole life that I don’t want to get married) They also said “you haven’t been around boys or girls long enough to know yet.” But like, I’ve been around them my whole life???😭
lmao they really said "you haven't met other humans" like what
to me, "you'll find someone someday" is a threat
As an AAA person (aka Aromantic, Asexual, Agender person) I approve of this video !
Thanks for trying to understand and spreading awareness of different sexualities and romantic attraction. It’s crazy how the amatonormativity (I hope I spelled that right) is everywhere in the medias, movies, books and no character can be aromantic, asexual or even genderfluid without being non-human, nerdy bad looking person, or changing to want a partner in the end. I truly hate that it took me traumas to realize my orientation, and it took me so many years to understand who I truly am !
Anyway, thanks Jamie, for being such an incredible human being. I love your videos, they either cheer me up, teach me things or both ! Thanks for your work, and when I have money, I will buy your clothing, to support you and look cool. Kisses from an AAA person🧡💛🤍💙
In the Sherlock Holmes series, Sherlock has huge aroace vibe, that's a good example of aromantic representation, also he's not just innocent or anything like that
Yessss!!! Sherlock is the most relatable character I've ever come across (I'm an ace, greyromantic, autistic violinist!). It just frustrates me that (in the BBC series at least), everyone questions his lack of sexual/romantic attraction like it makes him some kind of weirdo. Plus people are always shipping him with Irene, John, or Molly, as if a platonic relationship wasn't enough...
Yes, exactly, and he and Watson are such a great example of a queerplatonic relationship too! I always refer to them when explaining QPRs
Media representation for aromantics: Evil deer man
6:24 I cannot compute this level of cute.
I trully appreciate that you're giving some attention to Aros too! I recently discovered I'm on the Aro spectrum myself (Demiromantic) and I tried to find fun content to watch but there's very little in comparison to the other orientations.
AYYY ARO MEMES
“The fish looks interesting”
-more of jamiedodger 2022
When your aroace and agender (me)
We are literally triple A batteries
AAA BATTERIES ASSEMBLE
*insert that meme of that guy reading AA batteries*
I actually think I could be agender too, which would make me a triple A battery too
me: *aroace and autistic AND on the agender spectrum AND possibly on the aplatonic spectrum*
im an.... AAAA?A battery
@@warriorcatkitty woah
THERE IS A SHOW!! Sonic the Hedgehog, in Japan!! A lot of people think he is aro ace, but personally I believe he is just aromatic. The reasoning is because he ALLOWS Amy to smother him in love and affection, and although he may see it as a friendly manner, he still allows it to happen!! And, the Western area loves to partner him with LOTS of people, so just Aromantic still allows that sexual area to stay in the area.
(Also, I am Aromantic as well, and love this video!!)
As a Aro-Ace person, I’m deeply grateful for you doing this subreddit and some good representation is in the book loveless by Alice Oseman
as an aromantic who just learned he's aro today, perfect timing!
also, so far here are some things i've picked up as "aro culture": GARLIC BREAD, cats, battle axes, and sleep ^^!
omg happy for u having realised ur aro !!! fellow aro here :]
I’m more of a karambit instead of a battle axe guy myself.
As an aromantic who feels the red squiggly line under the word aromantic as I type this due to the likelihood that Google Chrome thinks I mean aromatic is the sign of a wider problem, I appreciate this video.
6:40 I can't comment on aromantic culture as a whole (I only realized I'm probably aro this year), but I certainly do like cats and world domination.
Also, I'm glad you pointed out that aromantic and asexual are different things and don't always go together; most of what little aromantic or asexual representation exists is characters who are both aro and ace, and while certainly such characters should exist and aro-ace people are completely valid, I do wish there were more characters who are aromantic but not asexual and vice versa. We need more representation of the aromantic and asexual spectra across the board, but it seems to me (and I'll admit I'm clearly biased in this as I'm obviously more likely to be aware of things relating to me, and I'm aromantic but not asexual) that characters who are aromantic but not asexual are significantly rarer than aro-ace characters, as well as being considerably rarer than characters who are asexual but not aromantic (though to be clear, all of the above are rarer in fiction than they should be). I strongly suspect this is because of our cultural attitude towards sexuality in general: According to our culture, you're "supposed" to fall in love with someone, and any more physical desires regarding them are "supposed" to be a byproduct of that love, rather than having value in and of themselves (apologies for the euphemisms, I'd prefer to speak more directly but I suspect TH-cam will automatically hide this comment if I use the word corresponding to the second through fourth letters of asexual, or even just omit the first a). If you're interested in adult physical activities but not in a romantic relationship, all kinds of assumptions are made about you (the exact assumptions in question depend somewhat on perceived gender, but they're not positive in any case).
I think aro and ace representation is difficult in fiction because if they don't explicitly say they are aro or ace it is difficult to know if they are aro/ace or the author just didn't want to write romance into it
For example: many kids books don't have romance but that doesn't mean the character are or aren't aro/ace.
The kids in the magic treehouse could be aro/ace and we would never know
@@Nate5 I mean, that's true, but it doesn't really have much bearing on my point. While it is admittedly difficult to convey within a work without risking being hamfisted, I still think we need to try to do better about it. Damaging stereotypes about people on the aro and ace spectra are still far too common; if you're aromantic you're assumed to be either heartless or shallow depending on whether you're also asexual (as well as on your perceived gender), and if you're asexual you're assumed to be childish or a prude. I believe that one of the more effective ways to attack these stereotypes is via effective representation in fiction.
Completely agree, that when there are aro characters in fiction, they are also ace, and I just want aro rep that isn't assholes, since you could argue that there is aro representation in characters (I've really only seen them written as cis men who date women) who have multiple relationships but only for sex, and don't actually have any feelings for their partners. That being the only thing I see when I look for allosexual aromantic rep is really disheartening
That wedding one really spoke to me when it said I could have the cake to myself; I would be much happier enjoying the whole cake to myself;
Thank you for covering aromantic memes today! I was feeling sad about being aroace today and I needed this reminder of my amazing community. I hope that, if you cover aromantic memes again, you'll encounter some about squishes. I'd love for more people to know about the existence of these amazing platonic crushes
don’t be sad about being aroace you are incredible!!
@@ihate_thesmiths_ Thanks! I'm just missing my squish a lot today. I haven't seen her in two months and I swear our friendship would be so much easier if I didn't get so extremely shy around her every time just because she's so amazing to me
4:10
My life has never been better represented than in this moment
This video is awesome!!
Also as for aromantic representation: the main characters of Koisenu Futari. a lot of aros consider Saiki Kusuo from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. to be aro as well, though that isn’t technically “canon” (he does say he doesn’t understand romance though, and goes out of his way to avoid romance). there’s also a list of aro characters on wikipedia so that’s a good reference for anyone who’s wanting rep (though the list isn’t very long)
Dorohedoro have Shin & Noi and Kaiman & Nikaido they are partners and the manga has zero romance happen between them. It's a friendship story.
The list of Aro characters on Wikipedia is _exclusively_ AroAce except for, like, two. Many AroAllos find more in common with AlloAllos than with AroAces.
"Im Aroace!"
"Dont worry,you just havent found the right one yet"
"WHO ASKED YOU?!"
You are honestly so sweet and positive. Keep doing what you do!
As an aro I really appreciate this video!!! If you do another one, maybe you could talk a bit about Loveless Aros, who feel disconnected from the concept of love altogether, often due to the social pressure to "compensate" for their aromanticism with other forms of love to avoid being seen as a "monster." I'm not Loveless, but my friend is, and you never really hear lovelessness talked about outside of aro circles.
This is a really interesting concept! I'm not aromantic, but I've never been in a romantic relationship (I'm in my twenties), have a messed up relationship with my family, and have had a lot of negative experiences making friends, and basically have none. I haven't had the best time with human beings and love, and it does bother me that humanity tends to be defined around the fact that you love others or others love you. Love is obviously a great thing, but it feels weird to define a person's humanity or worth around it, like if you don't have a lot of it in your life or don't value it super highly then you're somehow inhuman or something is wrong with you. It creates a bizarre need to compensate, to prove that you're not worthless because look at how many people love you and how many people you love!
A person's value does and should exist whether or not others love them, so I really vibe with the idea of being Loveless (if I'm understanding it well). Like I imagine there's a ton of pressure to have your familial and platonic relationships be amazing and spectacular if you're aromantic, to 'prove' that you're not a monster, because somehow the pursuit of romance 'humanizes' people. That's shitty and awful. Your worth as a human being shouldn't be defined by your attachments to human beings, whatever form they take. And aromantic people shouldn't feel pressure to have amazing platonic/familial relationships to compensate for a lack of romantic attraction. I honestly feel like it would be easier for people to question if they are or aren't aromanatic if that pressure didn't exist.
loveless aro people are very neat ✨
I love how Jamie does videos on so many different videos on different things
"youll find someone soon!"
*Says the one with 17 boyfriends*
Lol
It makes me so happy that you've made an Aromantic memes video, when I first discovered my Aromantic (specifically aroace) identity there were very little resources or communities, but an LGBTQIA+ youtuber like yourself talking about us makes our identity so much more visible and known. Heres a few 'aro things' I can think of to share: white rings on the left middle finger, paper crowns, the ace of spades (used for aroaces), bows and arrows, green hearts, frogs, plants, griffins, and the song 'Never Been In Love by Will Jay'. There might be more, but these are ones I know of, or have found out through a short bit of research! :)
Person: what’s your type
Me: ded bean (ghost type)
Person: what?
Me: DED BEAN!
I'm glad you made this one, Jamie!
8:21 the disatorous life of Psyki kusuo is an anime featuring an autistic Aroace protagonist centering around the social interactions that Psyki has to go through while also mocking societal norms. It is an anime, but it is really well done and it's funny. Also psyki is a trans man. You can see social interactions such as
Girl: why aren't you attracted to women, you're gonna be sad.
Psyki: I tried, but I am just not attracted to anyone.
Girl: WAIT! ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING!?!?
psyki: no, I am not, I tested it.
Random edgy guy: YOU TESTED IT! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOO!?!?!?!?
1. It's Saiki, not Psyki
2. Saiki is heavily implied to be aroace but it was never stated canonicaly
3. Where did you even get the idea of Saiki being autistic? Because it's the first time I'm hearing this (don't mean it in ill intentions, just curious)
Im so happy that aromantic memes are getting popular as an aroace person
Dear Jamie, as someone who just came out to myself as aroace a few weeks ago, I really appreciate you doing these meme reviews :-) I love them very much. If you do more of them, I'll definitely watch them. They really make you feel seen :-)
I think this is the best way of describing the aro, aroace and ace etc communities: "I dream of romance, and by that, i don't mean i desire it, i just feel society injecting so much romantic culture into my bloodstream that even in the peace of my sleep, i have to think about it, now let me nap in peace."