Exactly How To Stop The Emotional Affair
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2024
- What's worse than being in a limerent episode?
Being in a mutual limerent episode, doing the push and pull together. In this video, I will explain to you what to do to get out of its grasp.
I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/
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This is going to sound crazy but mutual limerence felt better than anything else I ever experienced. It ended badly and with a lot of pain and I know it was destructive for me and the other person, but I still miss those feelings we had in the first few months. I feel like a part of me will always miss it. It's really scary, I imagine this is what it's like to be addicted to illegal substances
It's the absoluut best, at first ..
Were there obstacles? Were you both with someone else? It’s hard to hear as the partner of someone that experienced this. Feels like you can’t match up to the hormones and feelings of longing that someone unavailable creates. It’s crazy making.
single man, involved in mutual limerence with a married woman for 7 years. Tried walking away last year, that lasted a whole two days when I saw how devastated she was, and how sick to my stomach I felt without her. But its getting harder and harder to wait for her, especially as we continue to see each other in secret. Watching these videos to muster up the courage to go no contact for good, because my head and emotions are going crazy! But the HOPE factor is killing me!
Know that EVERYTHING will improve after you come put of limerence / aka out of the addiction. Good luck to you 💓
Feelings are not facts; facts are facts. Thanks fenna for another excellent video
Thank you so much :).
With all due respect this letter makes the writer sound insane.
My partner left me for someone that he knew for 4 months and it lasted 3 months with her.
I’m still so traumatised by being dragged into this hell on earth.
Please anyone feeling this way don’t make rash decisions. It will pass.
It will pass indeed, unfortunately people don't want to see that.
Thank you for the tough love Fenna. This is vital and true.
I wish my husband would have watched this video. We are divorcing....
Good luck to you :( 😞
Thank you!
They don’t listen when they’re in the middle of it anyway. My partner left for someone he knew for 4 months. It lasted less than 3 with her once he was gone. Hope you’re ok.
The how old you felt is so spot on!!
I was waiting for a video on the emotional affair. Thank you.
You are very welcome
For the past 6 years I’ve experienced limerence towards someone who is in a relationship and ended up getting married. It’s mental self harm/torture- I wish I could turn off my feelings
We all wished we could switch off feelings and limerence, hope you will feel better soon.
Try and find some community work to get the confidence about yourself up so that you don't NEED anyone else but they compliment you. You need some self love.
Thank you again Fenna. This video popped up and I had to rewatch it. I love it and appreciate your support.
Wow. Never realized there was such a thing. Always one sided with me. I will watch your video with a big ???? Romeo and Juliet? The Friar tried to warn "love moderately".
Wouldn't "moderate love" be what is called an oxymoron? Is there such a thing as moderate love? Doesn't it sound loathsome? Romeo & Juliet were "star-crossed lovers"--Sounds better than cursed, I guess. I try not to think of the state of limerence as being cursed, so maybe I'll change it to "star-crossed." It's cosmic but not personal.... We'll see🤔
@@mariad1151 Thank you. I have given up on being able to figure it all out. I do feel strong love but feel sad that is never going to be felt back. 😪
@@photonjohnny You took the words right out of my mouth! (Except 10 minutes after I say it, I go back to trying to figure it out again!🤣 Chin up! Best luck, my friend. Hope springs eternal (don't tell Fenna I said that 😆).
That was great video Fenna thank you! I have a problem that I need to test my feelings after going no contact for several months! I saw my LO again after 3 months no contact! It wasn’t enough. I went back to limerence loop but I helped myself to get out from it so fast !! Lesson learned:) I prefer no eye contact nor small talk. I am done!!!
Nor small talk! Hurray
For me and the other it is very painfull, it's killing. But i "prefere" sadness, instead anxiety, unrest, terrible tension.
I'm so sorry to hear that Dw.
Because the fiance of the man under the spell informed the husband of the female under the spell, it became very hard for the long-distance love birds to even have online contact. But that did not help them (much). I guess if the no-contact is not a determination and backed up by insight / conviction - but forced upon them by "circumstances" then the no-contact is of little value. There are countless opportunities to _think_ of the love interest. In a way that was not a self-imposed boundary but another obstacle that intensified the addiction.
Likely her husband had put down some firm boundaries and she had to give up a smartphone and had to give him all passwords to her social media accounts. And the fiance on the other side might have had an equally strong grip on her "star-struck" man.
You are so right,
Forced no contact can create a Romeo and Julia effect . Good luck to you!
Do you think that in an emotinal affair both people have attachment wounds?
Of course I can't answer with no further information but of what I've seen so far is if people are in a very high on hormones relationships they tend to have attachment wounds.
But as a poet, I can say there is more to it. You tap into something very real, the source of which is God. Turn to Him.
How do I communicate this to my wife and her boss? They didn’t see each for 7 weeks, and then saw each other Friday. He didn’t tell his wife, my wife did tell me, but only because I noticed the difference and pushed… he wants to work on his marriage, my wife has not decided…..
I'm so sorry Dave, know that you are not alone. I hope there will be a breaking point where your wife will choose you. Good luck
So they are not in the same country, have never met in person and put their family resp. engagement at risk. And it feels almost impossible for the woman writing the letter to pull out of it. And the male part may not event try to end it.
Thank you for sharing this.
I think my husband & his AP are in limerence with eachother... I'm so sad as we may be headed for a legal seperation 😞
I'm so sorry to hear this Jena, good luck to you.
The poor lady has limerence beer googles. The drunkness of limerence hides the truth of why the relationship would not work.
Well said Mick! 👏
@@followingfenna I've seen what this lady is putting both families through. It's a relationship bomb about to go off.
Does limerence ever lead to something solid?
Sometimes but not that often.
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