#1 Rule To ALWAYS Look Masculine
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2024
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Why does masculinity often get labeled as "toxic" these days? In this video, I explore the true essence of masculine qualities like decisiveness, confidence, and emotional maturity - challenging stereotypes and providing guidance for men to embody the best versions of themselves.
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CHAPTERS
0:00 - No.1 Rule To ALWAYS Look Masculine
0:38 - #1 Being decisive
1:25 - #2 Leverage eye contact
2:44 - #3 Learn to dress well
4:45 - #4 Speak slowly
6:15 - #5 Maintain your composure
7:29 - #6 Give firm handshakes
8:45 - #7 Taking responsibility
10:19 - #8 Being kind
11:01 - #9 Value silence
11:53 - #10 Being direct but tactful
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I really love that poster behind Antonio at the beginning of the video (the safari jacket, shirt and tie - would like to take it to my tailor). Is it possible to have a link to the image please?
@@Bailiol the artist is Samara Shuter and you can buy her artwork here - www.samarashuter.com/originals
I hate the AI ad read. It makes me want to rip my ears off
@@RealMenRealStyle Many thanks!
Antonio, could you please create a video for me? I'm 27 years old and aiming to transition to a smart casual wardrobe. I'd like to incorporate suede boots, overcoats, and perhaps sports jackets with more intricate designs, while still maintaining a minimalistic style. I'm considering a complete overhaul of my wardrobe to achieve a fresh start. While I'm drawn to the classic "old money" aesthetic, I prefer a modern twist. How can I create versatile combinations suitable for all seasons while being mindful of budget constraints? Your videos are greatly appreciated, and I look forward to your continued content. Thank you for your valuable guidance.
Masculinity can be toxic, femininity can be toxic. It really depends on how either perpetuates oppressive stereotypes. Nothing wrong with masculinity or femininity.
Yes make decisions!!! I recently cancelled further dates with a man who couldn’t decide what to do for a date and never planned anything
on point as always
Thank you!
The advice about handshakes and do-overs is GOLDEN. Many of us will be encouraged by your story of self-awareness and confidence; a moment like that can be an icebreaker and relationship builder!
Thank you for addressing while many are avoiding the topic!
Spot on video. Toxic masculinity applies to weak, ego centric, double minded men. The term is typically used by
groups and individuals that outright hate and seek to demean masculine men.
Outstanding video Antonio! Highlighting all these masculine qualities is a great message to send out into the world. Keep it up!
Another fantastic informative segment. I love the fact what you said...lack of masculinity is childlike behavior. That was dead on.
By far this is one of my favorite segments. Thank you, thank you, thank you
That emotion part, showing emotion in "loosing your cool" that ai agree. But learning how to convay your emotion and communicating them to people arround you and mostly your GF, that is a must. It's called emotionnal maturity. A good trait for men is communication and empathic listening
6:52 I think what you’re looking for here (or at least how I think about it) is that men are expected to be IN CONTROL of their emotions. You can show them, clearly you have them, but never let them control you or the situation. You control your emotions. Don’t let your emotions control you.
Obviously this works for anyone regardless of gender or sex, but it’s an EXPECTATION for men - one of MANY that society has put upon us, contrary to what some would have you believe.
Overall, good point though.
Antonio thank you for another great video. I started the gym at 6am and it was watching your video. Keep it up champ!
Thank you for the solid content as usual!
Excelente video como siempre Antonio, gracias!
On showing emotion- while I get where you are coming from, one of your best videos was one where you showed a lot of raw emotion. It was refreshing to see, and I think it's important for men to know that is okay. There is a point that everyone can be too emotional. However, experiencing and expressing genuine emotion is both healthy and completely normal.
Even the Lord Jesus Christ showed raw emotions, even clearing the temple a couple of times by force. And time and time again he rebuked the Pharisees to their very core. He is the true example of masculinity because he could also also be very loving, compassionate and tender. Boldly hate evil and boldly be loving.
Masculinity is best represented by the conscious and intentional carrying of the OAR for rowing alone when necessary: Ownership, Accountability, and Responsibility.
Great video sir, right on 100% ❤
I always thought your channel was a “style/fashion” channel with superficial substance, but I’ve recently seen several of your videos that were much more. Good job; keep it up!
I like what you said about men having the same amount of emotions as women. We are all people, men and women. We all have human brains that have human thoughts and contain human flaws. Each day making the choice to be better makes us men, and women.
Andrew Tate at the low end of the scale in the thumbnail 💀💀💀💀💀💀
clickbait
The funniest thing about this video I think is the thumbnail too. I'm not talking setting Tate at lvl 1 however, I'm talking comparing dudes like the content creator is a woman. "Jake is clearly more masculine than Tate" Yeah thanks for telling me what was in your search history RMRS.
@@wahhnopfp it was just a joke. It’s not that deep lol
Deplorable.
@wahhnopfp
andrew tate looks like what insecure males think masculine men look like
One of your best videos!
I'm a girl and I love to watch your videos, always informative. I think boys should watch you more. I visited your web, since I'm a Read/write learner, I spend more time on the web, great context and I even attend the quiz 😂 It was fun, I think I should learn more. Thank you for providing TMI 🙏 ✌️
In my opinion, all the traits we attribute to "positive masculinity" are really just another word for "maturity." In fact, I tend to avoid using the word "masculinity," because of its vagueness. You could be "masculine" in a good way (being a reliable worker), in a bad way (getting into fights), or even in a neutral way (wearing something blue). But striving for the goal of "maturity" guarantees that you'll always be on the positive side of the spectrum.
Note that I'm not suggesting we should give up all childish things, like watching cartoons or playing video games. Just know that those things come second.
On point #2, I've noticed naturally that the more confidence I've gained, the more eye contact I make
finally you talk about this subject> masculity is class, the force
As always, Antonio, GREAT points!! While I think most guys KNOW these things, it's good to HEAR or READ them.....
Hey, can I make a suggestion? This video’s title should be changed from Rules to Always LOOK Masculine to Rules to Always BE Masculine. Be the change you want to see in yourself, because it’s not just about appearances. Good advice, well presented.
Antonio, I enjoyed the slower pace MUCH more, and it held my attention more effectively as I was able to more accurately interpret your commentary.
I understand the chart that showed a declining attention/viewers. However, it feels you made a greater impact by slowing down.
I am an avid fan of your channel. I have a question for you regarding putting on t-shirts and polos. What is the best way to avoid getting Deodorant marks on shirts? In my experience, when I put on a Shirt or Polo I somehow/sometimes wind up with Deodorant marks on the sleeve or torso part of the shirt. Any advice good sir? Thank you and keep up the great videos.
nonresidue deoderant.
The handshake thing you brought up just happened to me. I forgot covid distanced us on purpose. Today a gentleman shook my hand in gratitude for the service he received at the Police station. We both know where we are but, I don’t want people to feel the intimidation ( that would be the other lobby). As a female I believe I earned some trust and respect. Yes he extended his hand that a female recognizes is a man leading. Carry on Sir😊
A trick I found useful for maintaining eye contact if you are uncomfortable is to look at the persons left eye, then the right eye then the tip of the nose and repeat throughout the conversation.
Landmine lol I am from Latinamerica but I experience that custom in Europe as well, tricky indeed. If you "stay away " from that you can be seen as very socially awkward, shy or insecure.
Regarding eye contact, if I'm in a social situation in which I'm talking to someone who maybe has a friend with him or her but the dialogue is happening mainly between me and only one of them, I still make eye contact with and even face the other person (even inserting a witty one-liner specifically when doing so when applicable) at times to make him or her feel included.
My favourite retort when somebody says "You can't say that" or something to that effect:
"I just did."
Saying it remorselessly is equally as important as the words.
What's your beef at Andrew putting him at level one?
The man is the top G 😂
Summarizing the video bcoz no one did in the comment section 😅:-
1)Being decisive.
2)practice good eye contact (80/20 rule).
3)Learn to dress well.
4)Speak slowly
5)Balancing emotions(neither suppress them nor getting fully emotional).
6)A firm handshake.
7)Taking responsibility.
8)Be kind.
9)Don't be afraid of silence.
10)Don't fear from confrontation (A healthy confrontation is good for development).
A hand shake tip I find is to look at the other guys hand and look it in for a good firm handshake then look up for the eye contact. Find 2 guys looking at each other and hoping our hands match up is tougher than it looks.
Think you can also add kindness in the topic of Masculinity... But still great work
😂 exactly when you mention hair loss experts you show a bold researcher 😂
I truly missed watching your content.
honor. courage. commitment. esprit de corps
Kissing on the cheek in Europe also differs per country. I'm from the Netherlands and here you do one if you don't know the person very wel. If it is a friend or good acquaintance you do three. But as a man only to woman, but woman can also kiss other woman on the cheek. In south Europe, AFAIK, men also kiss other man on the cheek. And the amount of kisses you do differ from culture to culture. So for me it's always a guessing game when traveling trough Europe. And I just wait what the other one does and go along with it.
I like the statement at the beginning where masculinity isn't toxic. Toxic is just be a [rectal orephus]. Toxic is just being a terrible person. I am in Toastmasters and I am working on speaking in public and in smaller or, even, one on one with it and it helps me with the eye contact, speaking slower, more focused, and eliminating filler words.
ooh, tatebros are gonna be mad at this one, lol
They're billionaires now, why would they care?
@@EmperorHelixyeah they're "billionaires" now...
@EmperorHelix
I don't think you know what the word "billionare" means
@@EmperorHelix they're multimillionaires but haven't reach billionaire status yet. too many enemies.
@@DonesdeMotivacion millionaires and winners need to defend the "honor" of Andrew Tate, the guy going to trial for organized human trafficking. Why else would they care?
Well said. Dressing well doesn't mean dressing "up." It doesn't mean coat and tie, but rather it is situation appropriate. Dressing well at the gym is different than dressing well at a lunch with friends, and different than at a business dinner. Clothes that fit appropriately, clean, good repair.
This advice was excellent excellent excellent
I thought I would disagree with you for some reason.
If all the people that follow Tate would follow your videos instead, we would all be in a better place.
Trust the science
that's exactly what I wanted to say. Instead of unifying all Masculine youtubers tend to attack each other with the I'm right he's wrong mentality. Robert Greene, JP Joe Rogan, every single one preaching at least 80% of the same things Tate preaches but attack him. I think the thumbnail was click bait anyway
I don’t see where you’re coming from. Tate has a different message. He flaunts wealth to attract attention and follows it up by being straight up and not sugar coating his men must act. RMRS is a great channel but it the message of masculinity isn’t driven nearly as hard as Tate does.
Now articulate your reasons. I doubt you can.
@@coleowens1616 your “defense” of Tate says everything that could be said about you.
Rape Tate isn’t “masculine”, his behaviour and attitude in general is about as far away from true masculinity as you can get.
You need to take a long hard look in the mirror.
I'm from Brazil and regarding the kiss on the cheeks, it's always with women in a more relaxed environment and usually with someone somewhat related - family, friends, friends of friends -, never in business. To be honest, the older I get, the weirder it feels to me, I personally prefer to shake hands - except for close family.
all good advice except for going again for a 2nd handshake.... that one's a bit weird. pls
all this talk and discussion about "toxic masculinity" but why is no one ever talking about "toxic femininity"? Every time that there is a discussion about one set being toxic the other side conveniently gets ignored and I just think that is dishonest.
It does get discussed, just in different circles at different times- usually when there’s a serious discussion about men being victims of abuse and how that’s a lot less visible because it usually looks a lot different.
It needs more focus and better framing, though. I know a guy whose ex wife tortured him for years, and it didn’t even occur to him that he had mental scars until I pointed out the ways she specifically tried to make him feel crazy/cruel: by saying things she knew would hurt, on purpose, constantly, then bursting into tears when he got angry at her *hurting him on purpose.* That’s called reactive abuse, and it’s much much more commonly perpetrated by women.
The idea that guys aren’t supposed to have or feel emotions hurts everybody.
For starters, whereas toxic masculinity is a fairly coherent concept, nobody seems to agree on what "toxic femininity" is actually supposed to mean. Is it emotional manipulation? Co-dependence? Internalized misogyny? Aggressive feminism? Excessive femininity? Lacking femininity? Or something else completely? Depending on who are talking, the term seems to indicate a rather diverse and at times mutually excluding set of ideas about women's behaviours.
For what it is worth, and as @Axqu7227 says, there are many discussions of these topics and more going on, just under different names. The real danger with the term "toxic femininity" is perhaps that it is a convenient way to derail discussions about "toxic masculinity", by making there appear to be an equivalent that is just as bad, thus excusing us men from improving ourselves. Resist that pseudo-logic.
Toxic masculinity is just a liberal term from people who think men should be beta submissive males. Lots of women who hate men, use that term.
Toxic femininity does get talked about, you are just conveniently ignoring it.
Glad to see you're familiar with SRK
Thanks man! I grew up without a father🤝
The seventh point has actually gotten pretty rare these days. Everyones looking for excuses. No one wants to take responsibility. So, every time I find someone taking responsibility for their or the actions of someone working under them, I take them in high regard. That's a leadership trait right there.
10:22 how is it being nice means you want something in return?
Am sure that there is a word for something like that other than "nice"
I never understood this diffinintion of bieng nice and it made me qouistion my intintions for some time
Toxic masculinity is a code word for things the men women want do that attracts them but they don’t like, or that invalidate feminism. Any time you ask a woman to define ‘toxic’ behavior, they almost always describe behavior that is abusive or inappropriate in any context and is not unique to men.
From a combination of what I have seen and experienced, the people (Especially feminists) that use and preach about "toxic masculinity" are using the term to describe traditional masculine traits that benefit only the men (Literally just supporting himself) or doesn't benefit them all the time. It's a weird thing to explain really, the definition seems to change on how these people feel.
The continuing to speak to not get interrupted thing is a good idea in theory, but I've seen it go awry in application. I have a cousin who started doing this intentionally, but he also speaks slowly while still rambling on for like a full min and doesn't allow organic conversation to happen (and mind you, this isn't during thought-provoking conversation. We're talking about when we're just bullshitting and hanging out). You also have to respect the fact that conversations are a group dynamic and allow people to add to the conversation. You can pause and listen for a sec and then add on or continue then by saying "yeah, exactly". Just speaking nonstop for a min or two when you're in a group setting is kinda a dick move and makes you seem socially inept
I think the term "toxic masculinity" as a buzzword has confused its meaning. A good example of masculinity would be you, Antonio. A bad example of masculinity ("toxic masculinity") would be someone like Fresh & Fit. It's supposed to just be referring to certain masculine traits that can be toxic and/or masculine traits being taken too far to a toxic degree. It's not meant to be saying that masculinity itself is toxic. There is toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. Like being really stubborn can be "toxic masculinity" or being really passive aggressive could be "toxic femininity". Masculinity and femininity aren't all good or all bad. They both have positive and negative aspects that tend to fall along those categories. Masculinity isn't only the good parts like strength and courage. It's also things like conditioning men to be stoic to the extreme and never have healthy outlets to vent and show things like sadness. Another very common example of "toxic masculinity" are men who refuse to seek medical attention or think that things like therapy and psychiatry aren't "manly", and then they end up offing themselves because they've been depressed and/or dealing with serious mental health problems that they never address or dying of cancer that could have been stopped if they didn't wait so long.
Cheek kissing is very common in Louisiana. Since late middle school, early High School and now in my 40’s. When I’m introduced to a close friends female companion, it’s fairly common for the woman to lean forward for a hug and cheek to cheek brushing kiss. Plenty other situations that lead to this cheek kissing as well. But born and raised here it’s common in the Cajun parts of Louisiana. In other areas of the State like the Western Side, and northern part of the State women will stick their hands out for a handshake. This is an obvious sign, she’s not open to the cheek kissing custom. Fair enough. Non issue.
I really love that poster behind Antonio at the beginning of the video. Does anyone have a link to the image please?
That is an Awesome Cable Knit Turtleneck Antonio.
I like the bald hair expert 😂 in the video.
Those first three clips of those freaks talking about toxic masculinity was hilarious!
Learn to stay calm in every situation
"Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind." - Doctor Who
Good video as well as the channel. My only suggestion is reduce the time of publicity or start the video with it.
I'm disappointed he didn't talk about Tate
The push to want to see men get all emotional is BS. Don't. Better to not go there than belittle yourself by showing too much.
The woman in your life who sees it, can't unsee it. And not in a good way.
Go for a walk.
I have this bad habit when I look someone in the eyes I panic and then look up or look away and it’s ruining my life 😭
The Japanese use a little trick that was taught to me in a hotel.
Since to them looking at the eyes is confrontational but need to look westerners in the eyes, what they do is actually look at the middle point between the eyebrows. It's not distinguishable from actually looking in the eye, gets the same effect
@@augustusaurelius2628 I will try this thanks
Antonio makes a video basically paraphrasing all of Tates points.
I enjoy your channel and continuing to tell us it’s ok to be a man.
From fashion and style to father type wisdom we all wish our fathers told us.
Antonio, kissing the ladies on the cheek is just part of the culture. You kiss somebody you already know, but for the first time is a hand shake. You should try it. Lol
I can't find the purpose in life, im a male 22 YO, Im doing a lot of things to improve myself, not quiting, but I don't know what is my purpose, any advice?
Old school true masculinity and I love it! These Tate fan boys can’t comprehend
I work in a quarry and I ought to take style cues from Brad Pitt!?
💪🏿
What about being a good father and also providing for your family form clean earned money
Not all of us are in a relationship or fathers (yet)
The cover for this video! A+
You know Srk 😅
What do you think of so-called leaders that take responsibility by resigning?
Tate survived 90 days in an eastern european jail. If thats not strength i don't know what is.
For eye contact, when I talk to inmates, I look them in the eye when I talk to them. When they talk to me, I look away or look at my device or keep walking away. This is to signal that I hold the power in the relationship.
Don’t like Tate that much but a feel it’s more gentlemanly to not disrespect others unless they personally wrong you.
To them, holding the door open translates as “toxic.” Feminism destroyed femininity…literally. 😂
Nonsense. Nobody is going to argue that holding the door open is toxic masculinity. Holding the door open only for women, on the other hand...
Terms women use when they can't win
Just goes to show how big of an impact rhetoric can have on your message being heard. The first 30 seconds were spent bagging "toxic masculinity", the rest of the video then essentially conveys the same message as the "toxic masculinity" people try to, but in different words. Simply with less arrogant, more inclusive, less isolating rhetoric, the same ideas were presented in a way that men are actually likely to listen to. That is the skill of a good communicator.
Brokeback Mountain poster as a thumbnail for Jake Gyllenhaal level 100
Ain't nothing wrong with loving another man.
Some of the most masculine men I know are gay, they are not mutually exclusive and in-fact being both goes hand-in-hand more often then you think.
I would maintain eye contact with a cyclops 50% of the time.
You are totally wrong but if your definition of "masculinity" is this, you won't understand the other side. As a male, I don't feel I need to tell others how strong I am. Be quiet and polite... until it's time not to be quiet and polite. As a man that sees how many guys don't wash their hands after peeing, I do not want to shake hands.
In other words, you want to walk in a room and announce "the man is here, everyone, the man is here!!!!!" Weak move.
How do you feel about the whole "Alpha Male" propaganda going on with men wearing tank tops, cargo shorts, burly beard, buzz cut, and wearing their sunglasses on top of their baseball cap?
If you need to watch this to know these things, then you’re just going to be faking it and we can tell.
But strength, courage, honor, independence, commitment, and leadership has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. Those are gender neutral values that we should all develop and adhere to regardless of what’s in our pants. No? It doesn’t make me more manly if and when I use those traits, it makes me a better person, period.
People like Andrew Tate usually dress well for the role they play and their public personnae. Adam Sandler does not dress well. But, then too, it fits with his role as the guy who does and says what he wants, and purposely goes "against the grain" to get attention.
Toxic masculinity is those who see feminism as a threat or not knowing what the definition of feminist is.
It would be like saying "kindness is for the weak" because you feel kindness/feminist threatens your masculinity.
Shaved my head at 26, I'm now 66 and still shave my head daily. Being bald is awesome, it looks great and feels unbelievable.
I didn’t know Americans don’t do cheek kiss
This is the first video from you i clicked disliked, come on man, top g lvl 1....
There's a misconception that some people are manly and others aren't. Manliness comes from deliberate practice and the building of habits. Great video!
Clicked for Jake Gyllenhaal
Did you watch Road House?
@@RealMenRealStyle he was the only reason why haha
@@IbrahiemLegoFilmsHe's awesome!
'Why does masculinity often get labeled as "toxic" these days?'
It doesn't. People who are using the term toxic masculinity are virtually never targeting masculinity as a whole, but rather to a set of conceptual frameworks that allow men to weaponize aggression against women and against men that somehow don't 'tow the line' of traditional masculinity and are hence seen as inferior. These ideas grow out of our ideas of what masculinity is, and calling it toxic masculinity is absolutely warranted.
All of your suggestions are good, and nobody would regard them as toxic. And yet I don't think that any man striving to be a good man should turn a blind eye to the term toxic masculinity and insist that masculinity isn't toxic. Learn instead to recognize the things people are actually discussing as toxic, and work towards removing them in yourself and calling them out when you see them in others, all while being an example of how you can do this. There is much to be said about the 'homme de bien', whose worldly success and personal values justify each other.