My wife is a teacher and after having two young children it made more financial sense for her to stay home. She also had the desire to be home with the girls, however, there was a part of her that still missed working. She got a part time online teaching job making $1200 per month. I couldn’t be more proud of her! I noticed her demeanor is more confident and she feels like she’s a contributor to the family. The honest truth is that she’s a contributor to our families success either way. The money has been extremely helpful!
@@amyhood6562 same here. My wife and I are much more financially prudent now. I can’t believe how much money we wasted when we both worked full time. You live and learn. Thanks for the comment.
There are multiple ways to come at this, especially in modern society, you can do rotating shifts or you can even stay at home and work from home if you want to contribute income to pay off debt and your desire is to stay home with the kids.....
My wife and I did that for a short period. Didn't like the idea after a month. Never saw one another. Placed kid in daycare, both kept working, and we all were with each other for a normal schedule. I believe my daughter learned more/ social skills in daycare. Wouldn't change out decision. Going to do the same thing with our son now.
@@staceystrukel1917 what works for one doesn't work for all, you have to find what works for you, whether it be alternating shifts, or daycare, or even working from home for one or both of the parents
When my mom was a stay at home mom back in the 80's she always had a side hustle. babysitting up to six kids, catering food for family and friends, buying and reselling used items in yard- sales, buying wholesale products and selling them afterschool to other moms. What did I get out of this? I learned to value skills such as hardworking, persistence, determination and resilience.
Girl, yes. 'Work' doesn't have to be full time out of the house. It's 2021. Do part time outside the house, work from home part or full time, clean houses one weekend morning a week, pick up a few hours a week babysitting or selling homemade goodies. The possibilities between nothing and full time outisde the house are endless.
I feel like this totally depends on how much debt and what the husbands income is. Ex: if he makes 100k with 20-50k debt, her being at home isn’t such a big deal. If he is Making 50k with 100k debt, it might be a good idea for the wife to pick up a side hustle to help out.
Also how much money childcare would be. Some women make just a little more than it cost to pay someone to keep the kids. And that’s pointless. But I do agree with your point! It all really depends.
@@tamaraterherst6794 It's still ridiculous. If you can barely keep your head above water, why would you produce a kid, add to the debt, and stress the kid out also?
My grandpa said of my grandma that for every dollar he made she saved him two. Ladies you can be a huge blessing if, and that’s a big IF, you get radical about saving money.
dberg1964 yes that's absolutely right...if the person who is staying home with small children does everything in their power to stretch a dollar, then that is a big financial contribution to the household...one that's overlooked many times because the working parent doesn't want to have to stretch dollars sometimes, but would rather spend whatever they want to spend on things, rather than having to be frugal.
If the husband is asking, then he may be feeling the stressed about carrying the workload. This may be him asking for help. If she doesn’t go back to work, has a second kid, and incur more debt, their marriage may get a little bumpy.
Yup sounds like he is feeling stress about carry his agreement - bringing home the bacon and she is feeling stressed about how her taking on his load will affect her load of raising the child. They need to be a WE.
@@ason4641 integrity? ie doing the right thing even when it is the hard thing to do. Sounds. like a terrible plan if you can't stick to it. Write the plan and consider everything . Once the plan is written find the holes. It is called hope for the best but plan for the worst. Never mind this nonsense about throwing away a plan. Plan better!
I was a stay at home mom before...I always had to ask my husband for money...it was awful. I finally found a remote job where I could work full time from home, making okay money...then got good at that job...and got offered another remote position (same line of work) for way more money. It took a while, but I am so happy to have my own money. I have financial freedom to help out, buy what I need for myself and family, and build a savings.
I am in the situation like that and I hate to ask money for everything. Sometimes it’s a problem and makes me feel like I am begging for money (even to buy groceries). I am looking for a remote job right now because I am tired of being constantly humiliated. What type of remote job did you do? Thank you!
@@valentinaorange I completely understand, I’m sorry you are going through that* I started off with recruiting, it was a great job I could do from home* :)
"Family values" and "work" are not mutually exclusive. Even working weekend early mornings and days while the husband is at home can make a huge difference. There's all types of ways to work around the main breadwinner's schedule without needing a babysitter. Communication and honesty is everything.
Debt is an issue. They should also be asking whether having a second child at this time is appropriate? Part time work at night after he gets home would insure that both parents are involved as parents. But daycare also allows for child socialization. Pluses and minuses to everything.
Debt comes in many forms. This generation is bankrupt...BANKRUPT... as far as their values & the stability of the family unit currently. The family unit CAN NOT BE MONITIZED. When we chose to do this, we put the unit at risk. Broken families raise children who are more likely to struggle with education, employment, & DEBT. Yet, society says, motherhood is laziness & complacency, and families are up for sale. Divorce is high because we are terribly out of balance. Our children are raised by strangers &/or the state. I say; family first. Stay home, spend less, see your value!
One of my contributions staying home is finding ways to be frugal. If I worked, we would eat more expensive prepped meals, drive much more (gas and wear on the car), daycare, work clothing, and stress. I am much more effective managing one income and staying home than I would be working outside the home. Plus it would absolutely stress me out having my kids raised by someone else. Just the thought of that makes me feel kind of sick to my stomach.
This is so often overlooked! You would have to make a lot of money to pay for all the extra expenses! And of course there is no price tag on family relationships! Both with your children and your spouse. Some of the comments are saying she should just work opposite shifts so one of them would be with the child at all times, but when would they have time for each other? Being a parent is very important, but you cannot neglect your spouse either. Family relationships are built upon each other. When one begins to crumble, they all suffer. Debt is a strain on a marriage, but other things can be even more so!
@@Sir_Viver - This situation is temporary for them as a couple. They will have to sacrifice for a year or two while they work on this joint goal of being debt free.
@@k.alvarado6237 hopefully its temporary. Rarely does the woman who gets the esteem from her boss and co-workers want to return to homemaking. Rarely does the family who gets used to living on two incomes return to one income.
Always an option, but if she is a stay at home mom, the husband better be throwing himself at his career 110%. Hard times hits everyone, but men who have women taking care of the household have more time to devote to bringing home the bacon and should be doing better than average so hopefully he is working on that. Never undervalue running the household and raising your kids. That is work more valuable than any job, and you are also saving tons of money in babysitting and all kinds of other ways.
What about the husband who brings in money and then when he’s done working has to take care of house wife and kids, difference between him and wife is he brings in money she doesn’t
In my humble opinion staying home with kids was more important than working (part time) to pay off our debt quickly. It definately meant living like a pauper for a season but it was worth it when we came through it. It was good in more ways than one as it taught us the value of saving, the struggle and the importance of parenting. However it's also completely based off of each individuals own convictions.
Why the key word was part time. Idk if u know what that means but that means dad could work morning to 5-6, mom could work nights, working opposite shifts. Why would that be such a problem? Honest ? not trying to be smart
I work part time and have twin toddlers with development delays. I spent alot of time with them, take them to multiple Therapy sessions per week, doctor visits and still have time to work part time. Time management, team work and communication with spouse.
I’ve seen it crucial and extremely important for me to be home raising my children however just like i don’t want sole responsibility and involvement in the quality of raising of my children I don’t expect the financial responsibility to be solely on my husband either. I do everything i can to be frugal and to also contribute by using my skills and ability to provide from home. & everyone wins
She stays home, so the cost of baby number two is extremely minimal. Besides Daycare babies are not expensive if you dont buy into all the baby gear hype.
He should work longer hours, it will also help him progress within the company and she should stay home because no stranger will raise a child better than the mom. Moms not being home for the family has changed all society for the worse.
She could work part time... Even if you could bring in an additional $250 a week, that’s an easy $1000 dollars a month. I think she just wants to stay home.
Well a lot of times even when a stay at home goes back to work full time, she is still expected to perform all house duties, baby duties,cooking, errands like normal.
We are expecting our first later this year and my plan is to quit my current job, then after a few months start watching another child at our home during the day to make extra money. Best of both worlds!
@@jumpiam8477 I couldn't agree more, that's a horrible idea, I know I did it. It's extremely honorable work but it's very hard work. What if this poor woman hurt herself doing this type of work? She has a baby on the way she needs to perhaps have a stay at home type of job.
Lost time with kids? What about the working husband losing time? It should be that because he works 40 hours a week minimum that she has to put up those numbers as well. No one gets a free pass. Equality.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Very small children usually need the emotional part of being with the mother more, although having the father's input is also important though.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 You have some really odd ideas don't you? Some kids who grew up with both parents also end up committing crimes and doing drugs. My goodness!
It’s all about the numbers, which I heard nothing about. If you’re going into debt or are barely breaking even, you definitely need to find means to help out financially, even if it’s just some kind of hustle.
You only get so much time with your kids, invest in them so you benefit from having good kids later. Find value in yourself by budgeting, saving, living within your means. It takes a lot to stay home with littles full time. An encouraging husband that values you taking care of your kids is a huge blessing to make it through the tough times.
Help with the debt and let dad help with the kids. He will appreciate his wife's efforts at home more by doing this. Tag team for a while to crush the debt, then go back to "normal" when debt free.
@@NewHopeAudio Then all these stay at homes should start up daycare businesses. It is NOT a job and she had a choice in taking on that "role". Stop simping.
Money comes and goes baby hood doesn't. Work from home only option I would recommend personally. At the end of the day do as you wish freedom of choice.
Agreed. Don't want to be resentful later or miss it and regret it. Plus even science says it gives them a better start to thier life if you can manage it. I think that's part of building a legacy and changing the family tree too
A piece of advice from my father which I have always remembered: it is easier to save money than earn more of it. You will never get the time with your children back if you are working and your job becomes looking after your family unit, which in turn can save money and stress.
NO!! The man must be the bread winner paying the bills. Stay home moms are just that, stay at home moms. Both husband and wife must give 100%! Husband must work and make sure no chores are put on the wife, and discipline the kids, and the wife must do laundry, cook, clean, garden, and homeschool if need be.
Having a kid while being stressed about debt, brilliant! Having a kid and taking an income away from the household while stressed about debt, double brilliant!
She could become a school bus driver. She can take her kids with her on the bus and make some extra money on top of it. That’s what my mom did when me and my brother were younger
We used to work opposite shifts with my husband, for over a year, so our Baby twins would be with parent 24/7. It's hard, but very doable if u r willing help each other:); hey, we were doing it for us!
This depends on their childcare options. If she can find something affordable where your additional income exceeds the cost of childcare, than yes get a job. Also look for something remote.
That’s completely false. What must happen is that people live beneath there means. That may mean not prioritizing having a big new house and new cars. If you really value the opportunity to raise your own children instead of having society raise them, then you make sacrifices to make that happen.
@@mightyminifarm My point was years ago many more American workers could support their families on a single income. In the '70's a CEO earned about 30 times more than an average worker at the company today that amount is more like 320 times more. Corporations have killed high paying union jobs that did not require advanced degrees....Additionally workers are putting in much longer hours working from home (employers expectations are work the time you would be commuting). Nobody is advocating to live above ones means or encouraging irresponsible spending.
Blame feminism for that, once couples began having incomes from both the man and woman they had more disposable income to be able to afford to borrow more money from the bank in order to buy bigger/more expensive homes. Home valuations began to rise as a result beyond the point of no return.
Zach Huff also if both parents have low earning potential, they would most likely be spending half their income on child care. Having one parent stay home is a sacrifice but it is worth it in my opinion. All depends what is important to you.
@@mightyminifarm my family only had a household income of around 30k, and only my dad worked. And this is in the PNW, so things weren't all that cheap but we made it work. So yeah I agree with this.
My wife is a stay at home mom. If she gets a job she is making $12 an hour. While I can just work some OT for $65 an hour. It's a no brainer for me to just work OT and her continue to stay home if we need the the extra money
monday to thursday after you get home youre NOT making OT 5-10 hrs a week can be made in that time frame AND you can make OT. not everyone gets big $$ OT like you and more is more.
Can we talk about how someone or the spouse needs to watch the child while the mother does her side hustle? Nap time for most moms consists of going to the bathroom, cleaning up the mess from that wake window and then maybe eating 😂 It seems a little impossible to get much more than that done in a nap time.
First of all staying home or working you are contributing. You aren't sitting around waiting for someone to do it all. Second, a part time job now to reduce the debt is not going to be forever and can allow dad and baby time to build their bond while mom gets out to see others, and earn a little $. You are not taking away from your family by working 10-20 hours a week if you have dad pick up the childcare or even good solid childcare for a few hours a week. However, do what you choose. CONSIDER the opin of others but do what works for your family
Most of my friends that wanted to be stay at home moms went to college and racked up student loans. It's sort of the 'done' thing in upper middle class circles.
@Hayley Jindra thats nasty, women get no respect whereas men are expected yo be breadwinners and become applauded when they make time for children. Women have to do both in todays society or are not respected. Even if you do both, “you have a nanny raising your kids?” And judge you anyway.
@@johngerring2505 If they can afford term life insurance on the working spouse, that may not be an issue financially speaking if the working spouse should pass away.
She can get a part time job in the pm waiting tables or something while the dad stays with the kids, that’s what we do (and it brings home good money for the amount of hours worked) bc we value having a parent home with the kids. Dads can stay home too part time-and it is just as valuable! Not to mention part of the time you are working the kids will be asleep anyway since it’s passed bedtime
If she brought loads of consumer and/or educational debt into the marriage then it should have been established from the jump that she will not be a stay at home mom
OK, I'm gonna say it. With DEBT, many husbands will resent a stay at home mom who doesn't contribute to reducing their financial burden, whether they say so, or not. Avoid that marital stress, and attack the debt FIRST.
Kids need their mom in the first three years though. Is it worth it having your kids have emotional and confidence issues down the line because they developed insecure attachment at this crucial attachment period where they need their mom? Their mom is their entire world.
There are a lot of things missing from this question? Who’s debt is it? Cost analysis of stay-home vs. part time vs. full time employment for the mother? What was agreed upon before marriage? Are they dividing the rearing of the kids? Why are you all trying for another child? Etc.
Anthony’s response of sending the mother back to work was expected from a man. Christie knows what motherhood is like and knows leaving your baby in some else’s care doesn’t sit well with a lot of women so it really is family-specific issue.
Why not do both? I do. I stay home all day with my kids and work at night. Not a hard answer. It sucks, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
Because not everyone can be a good SAHM and a good wife while focusing on a second job that will drain them mentally and physically more than they could give. It’s not fair to her or the kids. I know it’s not what many people want to hear, but marriage is a team effort-not a score-keeping game.
i say if getting a part time job is gona make a huge dent in what ever dent you have consider it , but if not then i say give the kids a full time mom , but do what ever feels right in you heart , what ever that is , that is the right answer.
My husband and I are hustling like crazy now so that in a couple years when we plan to have kids we will be in a position to transition to home-based businesses. Maybe not for everyone but that is our dream life!
To me, it would depend on how much she could make, how much child care is. The quality of childcare and how fast they can get out of debt with and without her working. Then based on that, decide.
J De La Cruz yes that's true that if childcare, transportation to and from work, clothes for work, etc all add up to whatever it is that she's able to make working, then it would be a wash financially for her to work.
If the wife says "I want to stay home", The husband can step it up, but the wife needs to understand, that he will be working longer hours, causing him to be away from the family.
They built the debt together. They need to pay it off together. Otherwise the kids will resent the overworked dad for not spending enough time with them.
I think this question is strange. Agree it is completely a family decision. Ultimately, it is depending on choosing the right life partner. If a wife is stay at home, if she is motivated to get extra income for a stable family finance, there are so many ways to work part time. If she have a skill, she can sell product online for items she created at home, like Etsy. Working remotely is a more popular option now also. This is up to both couple on putting the efforts. This situation have been around for decades and many couple had successfully done this. Now it is even easier for stay home parent with the help of technology to do this without leaving their home.
Honestly, the couple could just sit down with an excel spreadsheet or a pen and paper and do an A/B analysis. What would life look life financially if she stayed at home? When would they be onto BS3+? What would it look like relying only on the husband's income? What are the risks of either? What would happen if the husband was laid off and they have two kids? How would home life change if she isn't able to maintain it as much due to work? A serious SWOT analysis and discussion would at least help them see the full picture from both sides. No matter what they choose, they have to give up something. It's about choosing what you're willing to live without over resenting your spouse and what "could have been" according to personal feelings.
We are both engineers and our kids are still in primary school. I really want to see my husband reaction if i am telling him “Honey, i want to be a better mom so I will be full time at home!”. Honestly, we can do it financially but he might postpone his retirement of 10 years, forget the private school for the kids and the budget we have for investment. Even then, i don’t think he will approve coz you right, it’s part of our values. His grand-ma was a primary school teacher and his mother was university teacher, and he can’t see why i will be at home unless i am sick or one of us are sick. Value is deep. Check out before be engaged and not when you become a mother.
My God! It's only ONE kid!! My wife was delivering flyers and doing a bunch of other stuff, with at *least* two kids in-tow. That lady bought us some really fine appliances and other stuff, that way. Added bonus, the kids got to see Mommy put in hard work, to support the family. Get busy, ma'am!!
I am a full time mother...full time RN ..full time wife...and God gives me the strength to win daily. My income plays a major role in my family survival...my son has many more opportunities and I have more disposal income to spend on his wants/needs ...NO WORK=No health insurance..401k...Housing food other necessities.
This seems like a no brainer to me. Stay at home with your kid and babysit another child as well either full time or part time which will benefit both kids to have a playmate and learn socialization. the nanny websites even need ppl just to take their kid to and from school...or you can do dog walking, feedings during the day and take your kid with you...there are so many options for making more money while you are still a sahm.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Very small children usually need the emotional part of being with the mother more, although having the father's input is also important though.
It is a very personal decision. However something to consider, because we learned the hard way, is that if both spouses are working, you need to discount the cost of childcare from the extra income coming in and as if it's really worth it. So when my wife went to work she wasn't making the $12 she was getting paid. After childcare was paid it as really more like $4. While an extra $12 would have been worth it, $4 definitely was not.
She can do both. Offer to babysit while she's looking after her own child. Doing some work online when the baby's napping. Doing some work in the evening when her husband can look after the baby. And when there's a second child, readjust. But that doesn't mean she can ONLY look after the baby right now. She can chip in.
Ive always had this burning question that no one seems to answer. We are in a society that girl meets guy and the very first thing is have a baby, both aren't established and not working in fact Dave had a call where the couple were living with their parents in the basement,the husband or boyfriend I forget was working part time in security very low income and shes pregnant, she is annoyed with her inlaws and she is addressing trying to employ her husband as a full time worker, this is why so many couples are up side down it their relationships, if you call this values then our values are off , children are not a necessity, housing,food,utilities,income, healthcare are. You need to be established before having children.
my jobs: 1. wife + homemaker 2. mother + the ONLY person raising and homeschooling the children 3. gardening + landscaping but yet my husband thinks im stingy for wanting an extra $10 to buy pizza once a week
This is simple. Payoff all debt (excluding mortgage) first, then decide whether to become a stay at home parent. Don't put that debt burden solely on the husband.
@@lizg5416 I guess but pragmatically it doesn’t work like that. It’s not like one spouse works and when they come home everything is just handled. They still have a lot of the same responsibilities.
@@ATLFUNKCARTEL you're BOTH right. Keeping a home requires work, and no woman ever let's him come home from his day job and not give him a honey-do list.
I think for the ramsey team to tell a husband to get a second job, work till he aches and give up everything he wakts short term, but then to tell a wife "its to stay home and not earn money if thats what you want" is such a double standard
If you drive drive a school bus. No daycare. Take your kids. They pay you to take your kids. Your off school holidays. I started with my 3rd. Daycare was more than I made
She is either a stay at home mom or she works. Dont do both ! Tighten the money straps, thats all you have to do. Dont sacrifice your childrens up bringing for $$$$$.
"We" want to pay off our debt quick, but "we" are trying to have another child... Dors she not understand that having another child and paying off debt quickly are not mutually compatible? She sounds really selfish. She doesn't want to work, period. Love how she throws him under the bus as if he is demanding that she work which is against "our" values.
It absolutely would. If this was a guy calling in that is a stay at home dad, they would tell him to man up and that "agreements can be changed". There would be no "there is no right or wrong answer" talk. And before the woke police come in to get triggered......there is YEARS of evidence that this is what happens on this simp show.
I think it's a philosophical argument. Being divorced I'm shocked with how many women I've dated who flat out tell me they want to meet someone so they can quit their job and stay home. And these women don't even have kids! I have so many friends whose wives were stay at home moms, but the kids went to school, high scool.and college and yet she stayed a "stay at home mom". Just be honest about why you want to do it and then have a plan for when the kids don't need that level of care. Your financial situation will be tremendously better with two incomes.
We need to turn back the laws. Reagan signed the nail in the coffin and this whole thing is a Democrat agenda. They need the female voted and were willing to extract more $ from the working male. It is SICK!
The husband will resent the wife making him carry all the bills. The wife should help and pull her weight as I’m sure the wife asks the husband to help with the kids too!
@@mightyminifarm Real men recognize value in the partnership that is marriage and equality in all aspects of marriage. She can go work while he is at home and he will go work while she is at home.
Yeah, but the laws extract $ from the working husband. So...somehow, through a backwards law book the hardworking person will pay for the lazy wife. Some laws are so backwards!
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My wife is a teacher and after having two young children it made more financial sense for her to stay home. She also had the desire to be home with the girls, however, there was a part of her that still missed working. She got a part time online teaching job making $1200 per month. I couldn’t be more proud of her! I noticed her demeanor is more confident and she feels like she’s a contributor to the family. The honest truth is that she’s a contributor to our families success either way. The money has been extremely helpful!
Now I don’t feel so bad for making 1500 a month working part time. Seems like men don’t like it when women don’t make much money
@@juliettezea9507 it certainly depends on the partnership which is all that matters. Thank you for sharing.
@@amyhood6562 same here. My wife and I are much more financially prudent now. I can’t believe how much money we wasted when we both worked full time. You live and learn. Thanks for the comment.
Having something for yourself usually gives people confidence, even if it's something small that gives the family $1200 a month
My husband and I worked opposite shifts so someone would be home with the kids. We are debt free. House , land, vehicles all paid for
There are multiple ways to come at this, especially in modern society, you can do rotating shifts or you can even stay at home and work from home if you want to contribute income to pay off debt and your desire is to stay home with the kids.....
My wife and I did that for a short period. Didn't like the idea after a month. Never saw one another. Placed kid in daycare, both kept working, and we all were with each other for a normal schedule. I believe my daughter learned more/ social skills in daycare. Wouldn't change out decision. Going to do the same thing with our son now.
Nice job. It sounds like working opposite shifts worked well. Good for you guys
That sounds awful
@@staceystrukel1917 what works for one doesn't work for all, you have to find what works for you, whether it be alternating shifts, or daycare, or even working from home for one or both of the parents
When my mom was a stay at home mom back in the 80's she always had a side hustle. babysitting up to six kids, catering food for family and friends, buying and reselling used items in yard- sales, buying wholesale products and selling them afterschool to other moms. What did I get out of this? I learned to value skills such as hardworking, persistence, determination and resilience.
moms now want to be famous tik tokers $$
Your Mother was a great Teacher.
Your mom sounds awesome! Thanks for the ideas! Selling used items online means more time with the young kids while generating income.
Girl, yes. 'Work' doesn't have to be full time out of the house. It's 2021. Do part time outside the house, work from home part or full time, clean houses one weekend morning a week, pick up a few hours a week babysitting or selling homemade goodies. The possibilities between nothing and full time outisde the house are endless.
I feel like this totally depends on how much debt and what the husbands income is. Ex: if he makes 100k with 20-50k debt, her being at home isn’t such a big deal. If he is Making 50k with 100k debt, it might be a good idea for the wife to pick up a side hustle to help out.
I was wondering why if the debt bothers her she's trying to have another Baby.
Also how much money childcare would be. Some women make just a little more than it cost to pay someone to keep the kids. And that’s pointless. But I do agree with your point! It all really depends.
@@wrongwayeric even Dave says not to avoid having a baby because of debt
@@tamaraterherst6794 It's still ridiculous. If you can barely keep your head above water, why would you produce a kid, add to the debt, and stress the kid out also?
Also depends on how much she can make vs how much childcare is going to cost. Else balance their schedule so one parent is free to be with kids
My grandpa said of my grandma that for every dollar he made she saved him two. Ladies you can be a huge blessing if, and that’s a big IF, you get radical about saving money.
dberg1964 yes that's absolutely right...if the person who is staying home with small children does everything in their power to stretch a dollar, then that is a big financial contribution to the household...one that's overlooked many times because the working parent doesn't want to have to stretch dollars sometimes, but would rather spend whatever they want to spend on things, rather than having to be frugal.
How wonderful are Grandma and Grandpa:)
I get high in my TH-cam videos for a living 💯
@@wordsalad01 When people have a plan like that, it helps a whole lot! 😊
@@wordsalad01 Yes, us too 😊
If the husband is asking, then he may be feeling the stressed about carrying the workload. This may be him asking for help. If she doesn’t go back to work, has a second kid, and incur more debt, their marriage may get a little bumpy.
Or a whole lot!
Yup sounds like he is feeling stress about carry his agreement - bringing home the bacon and she is feeling stressed about how her taking on his load will affect her load of raising the child. They need to be a WE.
@@ason4641 integrity? ie doing the right thing even when it is the hard thing to do. Sounds. like a terrible plan if you can't stick to it. Write the plan and consider everything . Once the plan is written find the holes. It is called hope for the best but plan for the worst. Never mind this nonsense about throwing away a plan. Plan better!
@@clarifyingquestions rhymes with Troll
@@clarifyingquestions 👏🏼
I was a stay at home mom before...I always had to ask my husband for money...it was awful. I finally found a remote job where I could work full time from home, making okay money...then got good at that job...and got offered another remote position (same line of work) for way more money. It took a while, but I am so happy to have my own money. I have financial freedom to help out, buy what I need for myself and family, and build a savings.
I am in the situation like that and I hate to ask money for everything. Sometimes it’s a problem and makes me feel like I am begging for money (even to buy groceries). I am looking for a remote job right now because I am tired of being constantly humiliated. What type of remote job did you do? Thank you!
@@valentinaorange I completely understand, I’m sorry you are going through that* I started off with recruiting, it was a great job I could do from home* :)
We have the same situation. I went back to work part time and my income helps to drop the debt.
Work from home... babysitting, start a business from home etc
"Family values" and "work" are not mutually exclusive. Even working weekend early mornings and days while the husband is at home can make a huge difference.
There's all types of ways to work around the main breadwinner's schedule without needing a babysitter.
Communication and honesty is everything.
Debt is an issue. They should also be asking whether having a second child at this time is appropriate? Part time work at night after he gets home would insure that both parents are involved as parents. But daycare also allows for child socialization. Pluses and minuses to everything.
I can’t imagine raising kids all day and having to work all night...that sounds like an early death. Why doesn’t the man offer to work nights?
Debt comes in many forms.
This generation is bankrupt...BANKRUPT... as far as their values & the stability of the family unit currently.
The family unit CAN NOT BE MONITIZED. When we chose to do this, we put the unit at risk. Broken families raise children who are more likely to struggle with education, employment, & DEBT. Yet, society says, motherhood is laziness & complacency, and families are up for sale. Divorce is high because we are terribly out of balance. Our children are raised by strangers &/or the state.
I say; family first.
Stay home, spend less, see your value!
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This is so true.
AGREE 💯%! Awesome comment 🥇
Amen!!
Today you can work from home. Also there are weekends, evening shifts. Many choices to bring in two incomes.
One of my contributions staying home is finding ways to be frugal. If I worked, we would eat more expensive prepped meals, drive much more (gas and wear on the car), daycare, work clothing, and stress. I am much more effective managing one income and staying home than I would be working outside the home. Plus it would absolutely stress me out having my kids raised by someone else. Just the thought of that makes me feel kind of sick to my stomach.
This is so often overlooked! You would have to make a lot of money to pay for all the extra expenses! And of course there is no price tag on family relationships! Both with your children and your spouse. Some of the comments are saying she should just work opposite shifts so one of them would be with the child at all times, but when would they have time for each other? Being a parent is very important, but you cannot neglect your spouse either. Family relationships are built upon each other. When one begins to crumble, they all suffer. Debt is a strain on a marriage, but other things can be even more so!
She can work part time, evening shift. 25 hours a week.
Still home during the day.
Husband can take care of the kids at night
The husband needs a relationship with his wife just as much as the kids do.
@@Sir_Viver - This situation is temporary for them as a couple. They will have to sacrifice for a year or two while they work on this joint goal of being debt free.
@@k.alvarado6237 hopefully its temporary. Rarely does the woman who gets the esteem from her boss and co-workers want to return to homemaking. Rarely does the family who gets used to living on two incomes return to one income.
I have a feeling "we decided" means "I decided"
Haha
Always an option, but if she is a stay at home mom, the husband better be throwing himself at his career 110%. Hard times hits everyone, but men who have women taking care of the household have more time to devote to bringing home the bacon and should be doing better than average so hopefully he is working on that. Never undervalue running the household and raising your kids. That is work more valuable than any job, and you are also saving tons of money in babysitting and all kinds of other ways.
What about the husband who brings in money and then when he’s done working has to take care of house wife and kids, difference between him and wife is he brings in money she doesn’t
In my humble opinion staying home with kids was more important than working (part time) to pay off our debt quickly. It definately meant living like a pauper for a season but it was worth it when we came through it. It was good in more ways than one as it taught us the value of saving, the struggle and the importance of parenting. However it's also completely based off of each individuals own convictions.
Why the key word was part time. Idk if u know what that means but that means dad could work morning to 5-6, mom could work nights, working opposite shifts. Why would that be such a problem? Honest ? not trying to be smart
I agree Miss Fizz.
I work part time and have twin toddlers with development delays. I spent alot of time with them, take them to multiple Therapy sessions per week, doctor visits and still have time to work part time. Time management, team work and communication with spouse.
even if the Wife can do something from home and bring in 300-500$ . it can help a family a lot if invested properly
Yes ,true, that's how one should think, but it needs to be done from home , coz babysiting is expensive
I’ve seen it crucial and extremely important for me to be home raising my children however just like i don’t want sole responsibility and involvement in the quality of raising of my children I don’t expect the financial responsibility to be solely on my husband either. I do everything i can to be frugal and to also contribute by using my skills and ability to provide from home. & everyone wins
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I just don't think that paying off debt, and having another child is going to work. You only have one and she's considering a part time job.
She stays home, so the cost of baby number two is extremely minimal. Besides Daycare babies are not expensive if you dont buy into all the baby gear hype.
He should work longer hours, it will also help him progress within the company and she should stay home because no stranger will raise a child better than the mom.
Moms not being home for the family has changed all society for the worse.
She could work part time... Even if you could bring in an additional $250 a week, that’s an easy $1000 dollars a month. I think she just wants to stay home.
Exactly. And wants justification for it.
Well a lot of times even when a stay at home goes back to work full time, she is still expected to perform all house duties, baby duties,cooking, errands like normal.
We are expecting our first later this year and my plan is to quit my current job, then after a few months start watching another child at our home during the day to make extra money. Best of both worlds!
Yes she should. Certified Nursing assistant hours everywhere on the weekends in nursing homes.
Working at the nursing home is a hard work and pay little. I don't have a kid, so I don't know how hard it can be.
@@jumpiam8477 I couldn't agree more, that's a horrible idea, I know I did it. It's extremely honorable work but it's very hard work. What if this poor woman hurt herself doing this type of work? She has a baby on the way she needs to perhaps have a stay at home type of job.
Job income - childcare costs - value of lost time with kids = your answer
Lost time with kids? What about the working husband losing time? It should be that because he works 40 hours a week minimum that she has to put up those numbers as well. No one gets a free pass. Equality.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Very small children usually need the emotional part of being with the mother more, although having the father's input is also important though.
That’s why we choose to have my wife stay home
@@Sheryl777 It is not logical because statistics show most kids who grow up with single moms end up committing crimes and doing drugs.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 You have some really odd ideas don't you? Some kids who grew up with both parents also end up committing crimes and doing drugs. My goodness!
It’s all about the numbers, which I heard nothing about. If you’re going into debt or are barely breaking even, you definitely need to find means to help out financially, even if it’s just some kind of hustle.
You only get so much time with your kids, invest in them so you benefit from having good kids later. Find value in yourself by budgeting, saving, living within your means. It takes a lot to stay home with littles full time. An encouraging husband that values you taking care of your kids is a huge blessing to make it through the tough times.
I’m a stay at home mom to a one year old and two year old. It’s exhausting! I don’t think I would be able to have a second job!
Unfortunately, most people don’t see staying at home as a job. and it 100% is. Especially when childcare costs are so high!
Help with the debt and let dad help with the kids. He will appreciate his wife's efforts at home more by doing this. Tag team for a while to crush the debt, then go back to "normal" when debt free.
@@NewHopeAudio it's not a job. If you have children you should take proper care of them
@@NewHopeAudio Then all these stay at homes should start up daycare businesses. It is NOT a job and she had a choice in taking on that "role". Stop simping.
@@fling4206 it’s a job when you factor in the responsibilities. Curious why you think this way.
You can't "pay off" lost time with kids
Right!!!
If you value your financial goals it’s time to roll those sleeves up.
Spammer
Money comes and goes baby hood doesn't. Work from home only option I would recommend personally. At the end of the day do as you wish freedom of choice.
Agreed. Don't want to be resentful later or miss it and regret it. Plus even science says it gives them a better start to thier life if you can manage it. I think that's part of building a legacy and changing the family tree too
@@TeaHeart22 👍
A piece of advice from my father which I have always remembered: it is easier to save money than earn more of it. You will never get the time with your children back if you are working and your job becomes looking after your family unit, which in turn can save money and stress.
NO!! The man must be the bread winner paying the bills. Stay home moms are just that, stay at home moms. Both husband and wife must give 100%! Husband must work and make sure no chores are put on the wife, and discipline the kids, and the wife must do laundry, cook, clean, garden, and homeschool if need be.
Having a kid while being stressed about debt, brilliant! Having a kid and taking an income away from the household while stressed about debt, double brilliant!
Christy bringing the truth!! Loved her answer here
it's about time we heard from her.
She could become a school bus driver. She can take her kids with her on the bus and make some extra money on top of it. That’s what my mom did when me and my brother were younger
Their answer to this question was solid. Comment section? Always a mess when this question comes up. 😬
You can still stay at home and work, it's 2021
This is where my mind went
Good luck trying to work and taking care of kids
Most employers do not allow kids in your care while you work. It's not a substitute for childcare. Unless it's like a mlm or something
@@mxerb5912 With that mindset, you might as well give them up for adoption.
Like yes, but etsy doesnt give you a shovel for paying off debt it gives you barely a minimum payment lol
They are a good combination for this platform.
We used to work opposite shifts with my husband, for over a year, so our Baby twins would be with parent 24/7.
It's hard, but very doable if u r willing help each other:); hey, we were doing it for us!
Exactly very well done
This depends on their childcare options. If she can find something affordable where your additional income exceeds the cost of childcare, than yes get a job. Also look for something remote.
Agreed. Strictly from the money perspective - A lot of couples find a second income costs more in overhead costs than it brings in - net loss.
Unfortunately today, depending on where you live unless you have a high paying job/career both parents must work.
That’s completely false. What must happen is that people live beneath there means. That may mean not prioritizing having a big new house and new cars. If you really value the opportunity to raise your own children instead of having society raise them, then you make sacrifices to make that happen.
@@mightyminifarm My point was years ago many more American workers could support their families on a single income. In the '70's a CEO earned about 30 times more than an average worker at the company today that amount is more like 320 times more. Corporations have killed high paying union jobs that did not require advanced degrees....Additionally workers are putting in much longer hours working from home (employers expectations are work the time you would be commuting). Nobody is advocating to live above ones means or encouraging irresponsible spending.
Blame feminism for that, once couples began having incomes from both the man and woman they had more disposable income to be able to afford to borrow more money from the bank in order to buy bigger/more expensive homes. Home valuations began to rise as a result beyond the point of no return.
Zach Huff also if both parents have low earning potential, they would most likely be spending half their income on child care. Having one parent stay home is a sacrifice but it is worth it in my opinion. All depends what is important to you.
@@mightyminifarm my family only had a household income of around 30k, and only my dad worked. And this is in the PNW, so things weren't all that cheap but we made it work. So yeah I agree with this.
My wife is a stay at home mom. If she gets a job she is making $12 an hour. While I can just work some OT for $65 an hour. It's a no brainer for me to just work OT and her continue to stay home if we need the the extra money
Especially when you factor in how much you’d be spending on external child care.
Smart thinking.
monday to thursday after you get home youre NOT making OT
5-10 hrs a week can be made in that time frame AND you can make OT.
not everyone gets big $$ OT like you and more is more.
@@kazzTrismus Shhhh... I don't think they see that 🤫
@@kazzTrismus and then I never see my wife with your scenario. No thanks
Can we talk about how someone or the spouse needs to watch the child while the mother does her side hustle? Nap time for most moms consists of going to the bathroom, cleaning up the mess from that wake window and then maybe eating 😂 It seems a little impossible to get much more than that done in a nap time.
First of all staying home or working you are contributing. You aren't sitting around waiting for someone to do it all.
Second, a part time job now to reduce the debt is not going to be forever and can allow dad and baby time to build their bond while mom gets out to see others, and earn a little $. You are not taking away from your family by working 10-20 hours a week if you have dad pick up the childcare or even good solid childcare for a few hours a week.
However, do what you choose. CONSIDER the opin of others but do what works for your family
If the wife is seeking 2nd opinion, then she should stay home.
I think the question is, why did you go to school if you were going to be a stay at home mom
Most of my friends that wanted to be stay at home moms went to college and racked up student loans. It's sort of the 'done' thing in upper middle class circles.
@Hayley Jindra thats nasty, women get no respect whereas men are expected yo be breadwinners and become applauded when they make time for children.
Women have to do both in todays society or are not respected. Even if you do both, “you have a nanny raising your kids?” And judge you anyway.
Yeah because no stay at home mom has ever lost her husband and suddenly had to work to support her family
@Hayley Jindra I feel you...and I don't think it's right for working moms to try to hold a judgment like that over a stay at home mom's head either.
@@johngerring2505 If they can afford term life insurance on the working spouse, that may not be an issue financially speaking if the working spouse should pass away.
She can get a part time job in the pm waiting tables or something while the dad stays with the kids, that’s what we do (and it brings home good money for the amount of hours worked) bc we value having a parent home with the kids. Dads can stay home too part time-and it is just as valuable! Not to mention part of the time you are working the kids will be asleep anyway since it’s passed bedtime
If she brought loads of consumer and/or educational debt into the marriage then it should have been established from the jump that she will not be a stay at home mom
OK, I'm gonna say it. With DEBT, many husbands will resent a stay at home mom who doesn't contribute to reducing their financial burden, whether they say so, or not. Avoid that marital stress, and attack the debt FIRST.
Kids need their mom in the first three years though. Is it worth it having your kids have emotional and confidence issues down the line because they developed insecure attachment at this crucial attachment period where they need their mom? Their mom is their entire world.
I'm team Christy. You do what's best for you
There are a lot of things missing from this question? Who’s debt is it? Cost analysis of stay-home vs. part time vs. full time employment for the mother? What was agreed upon before marriage? Are they dividing the rearing of the kids? Why are you all trying for another child? Etc.
Anthony’s response of sending the mother back to work was expected from a man. Christie knows what motherhood is like and knows leaving your baby in some else’s care doesn’t sit well with a lot of women so it really is family-specific issue.
So let the man take all responsibility ofcourse coming from a women
Why not do both? I do. I stay home all day with my kids and work at night. Not a hard answer. It sucks, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
Because not everyone can be a good SAHM and a good wife while focusing on a second job that will drain them mentally and physically more than they could give. It’s not fair to her or the kids. I know it’s not what many people want to hear, but marriage is a team effort-not a score-keeping game.
i say if getting a part time job is gona make a huge dent in what ever dent you have consider it , but if not then i say give the kids a full time mom , but do what ever feels right in you heart , what ever that is , that is the right answer.
My husband and I are hustling like crazy now so that in a couple years when we plan to have kids we will be in a position to transition to home-based businesses. Maybe not for everyone but that is our dream life!
To me, it would depend on how much she could make, how much child care is. The quality of childcare and how fast they can get out of debt with and without her working. Then based on that, decide.
You can also work different shifts to save on childcare
J De La Cruz yes that's true that if childcare, transportation to and from work, clothes for work, etc all add up to whatever it is that she's able to make working, then it would be a wash financially for her to work.
No bc her his said he wanted her to work part time, so that can mean working opposite shifts
If the wife says "I want to stay home",
The husband can step it up, but the wife needs to understand, that he will be working longer hours, causing him to be away from the family.
They built the debt together. They need to pay it off together. Otherwise the kids will resent the overworked dad for not spending enough time with them.
I think this question is strange. Agree it is completely a family decision. Ultimately, it is depending on choosing the right life partner. If a wife is stay at home, if she is motivated to get extra income for a stable family finance, there are so many ways to work part time. If she have a skill, she can sell product online for items she created at home, like Etsy. Working remotely is a more popular option now also. This is up to both couple on putting the efforts. This situation have been around for decades and many couple had successfully done this. Now it is even easier for stay home parent with the help of technology to do this without leaving their home.
Honestly, the couple could just sit down with an excel spreadsheet or a pen and paper and do an A/B analysis. What would life look life financially if she stayed at home? When would they be onto BS3+? What would it look like relying only on the husband's income? What are the risks of either? What would happen if the husband was laid off and they have two kids? How would home life change if she isn't able to maintain it as much due to work?
A serious SWOT analysis and discussion would at least help them see the full picture from both sides. No matter what they choose, they have to give up something. It's about choosing what you're willing to live without over resenting your spouse and what "could have been" according to personal feelings.
We are both engineers and our kids are still in primary school. I really want to see my husband reaction if i am telling him “Honey, i want to be a better mom so I will be full time at home!”. Honestly, we can do it financially but he might postpone his retirement of 10 years, forget the private school for the kids and the budget we have for investment. Even then, i don’t think he will approve coz you right, it’s part of our values. His grand-ma was a primary school teacher and his mother was university teacher, and he can’t see why i will be at home unless i am sick or one of us are sick. Value is deep. Check out before be engaged and not when you become a mother.
My God! It's only ONE kid!! My wife was delivering flyers and doing a bunch of other stuff, with at *least* two kids in-tow. That lady bought us some really fine appliances and other stuff, that way. Added bonus, the kids got to see Mommy put in hard work, to support the family.
Get busy, ma'am!!
Not if it means she has to put the kids in daycare. Little kids need to be at home with their mom.
I am a full time mother...full time RN
..full time wife...and God gives me the strength to win daily. My income plays a major role in my family survival...my son has many more opportunities and I have more disposal income to spend on his wants/needs ...NO WORK=No health insurance..401k...Housing food other necessities.
This seems like a no brainer to me. Stay at home with your kid and babysit another child as well either full time or part time which will benefit both kids to have a playmate and learn socialization. the nanny websites even need ppl just to take their kid to and from school...or you can do dog walking, feedings during the day and take your kid with you...there are so many options for making more money while you are still a sahm.
values are so important
And it's also important to recongnize *other* values are important. And not be so judge-y.
I would stay home, kids are only small for a short time.
Think about the father though. If you get that time with them, should the husband not get equal stake?
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Very small children usually need the emotional part of being with the mother more, although having the father's input is also important though.
Love this channel! One of the biggest inspirations for making my own about real estate and finance!
It is a very personal decision. However something to consider, because we learned the hard way, is that if both spouses are working, you need to discount the cost of childcare from the extra income coming in and as if it's really worth it. So when my wife went to work she wasn't making the $12 she was getting paid. After childcare was paid it as really more like $4. While an extra $12 would have been worth it, $4 definitely was not.
Not to mention the cost of transportation to wife's job, and any other related expenses!
She can do both. Offer to babysit while she's looking after her own child. Doing some work online when the baby's napping. Doing some work in the evening when her husband can look after the baby. And when there's a second child, readjust. But that doesn't mean she can ONLY look after the baby right now. She can chip in.
why try to have another child?
Ive always had this burning question that no one seems to answer. We are in a society that girl meets guy and the very first thing is have a baby, both aren't established and not working in fact Dave had a call where the couple were living with their parents in the basement,the husband or boyfriend I forget was working part time in security very low income and shes pregnant, she is annoyed with her inlaws and she is addressing trying to employ her husband as a full time worker, this is why so many couples are up side down it their relationships, if you call this values then our values are off , children are not a necessity, housing,food,utilities,income, healthcare are. You need to be established before having children.
my jobs:
1. wife + homemaker
2. mother + the ONLY person raising and homeschooling the children
3. gardening + landscaping
but yet my husband thinks im stingy for wanting an extra $10 to buy pizza once a week
This is simple. Payoff all debt (excluding mortgage) first, then decide whether to become a stay at home parent. Don't put that debt burden solely on the husband.
If you stay home don’t be running up my cards
I wish I could stay at home while someone else pays my bills. Sounds lovely.
It is nice 😬😬, but you still “working” taking care of the home stuff.
@@lizg5416 I guess but pragmatically it doesn’t work like that. It’s not like one spouse works and when they come home everything is just handled. They still have a lot of the same responsibilities.
@@ATLFUNKCARTEL you're BOTH right. Keeping a home requires work, and no woman ever let's him come home from his day job and not give him a honey-do list.
Raise your children.
Great responses from Ramsey Personalities!
Maybe don't try for a second baby when you are drowning in debt? Just a thought...
How about option 3...holding off on the baby?
The Ramsey personalities wouldn’t dare make that suggestion.
I think for the ramsey team to tell a husband to get a second job, work till he aches and give up everything he wakts short term, but then to tell a wife "its to stay home and not earn money if thats what you want" is such a double standard
If you drive drive a school bus. No daycare. Take your kids. They pay you to take your kids. Your off school holidays. I started with my 3rd. Daycare was more than I made
Yes. Next question.
Sounds like she just doesn't want to work
She is either a stay at home mom or she works. Dont do both ! Tighten the money straps, thats all you have to do. Dont sacrifice your childrens up bringing for $$$$$.
There is no children's upbringing because the father never gets as much time. Equalize everything.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Sorry but that's BS.
"We" want to pay off our debt quick, but "we" are trying to have another child... Dors she not understand that having another child and paying off debt quickly are not mutually compatible? She sounds really selfish. She doesn't want to work, period. Love how she throws him under the bus as if he is demanding that she work which is against "our" values.
Notice, nobody’s talking about what is best for the kids.
She didn't say how old the child is etc...depends on how much daycare would cost etc etc.
They need to ask themselves particular questions! How bad is the debt? How does she feel?
I think the husband values the debt payoff more and is putting the squeeze on her.
She could work from home 🏡 if she wants too she can have both
Pick your cell plan... There are MANY under $50 plans with unlimited everything. Why pay more?
What kind of question is that?
YES - Go work.
Exactly women act like a Disney movie 🎥. Prince 👑 charming to pay 💰 my bills 💵
@@roolyfe Exactly. The time for this nonsense has passed!
@@mr.e5791 We need to turn back the laws then. Reverse marital laws and the irreconcilable differences bill that Reagan signed.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 if only we could. I think we've lost that battle
Should a Stay-At-Home Dad Get a Job??? ..I wonder if their advice would change if the script was reversed, lol smh
It absolutely would. If this was a guy calling in that is a stay at home dad, they would tell him to man up and that "agreements can be changed". There would be no "there is no right or wrong answer" talk. And before the woke police come in to get triggered......there is YEARS of evidence that this is what happens on this simp show.
I think it's a philosophical argument. Being divorced I'm shocked with how many women I've dated who flat out tell me they want to meet someone so they can quit their job and stay home. And these women don't even have kids! I have so many friends whose wives were stay at home moms, but the kids went to school, high scool.and college and yet she stayed a "stay at home mom". Just be honest about why you want to do it and then have a plan for when the kids don't need that level of care. Your financial situation will be tremendously better with two incomes.
We need to turn back the laws. Reagan signed the nail in the coffin and this whole thing is a Democrat agenda. They need the female voted and were willing to extract more $ from the working male. It is SICK!
“So we’re saying the same thing?” “...No.”.... “So we’re saying the same thing?” “...Yes.”
The husband will resent the wife making him carry all the bills. The wife should help and pull her weight as I’m sure the wife asks the husband to help with the kids too!
Horrible advice. Real men recognize the extreme value that a women brings inside the home.
@@mightyminifarm real men recognize value in a partnership. Both men and women bring extreme value inside a home.
@@mightyminifarm Real men recognize value in the partnership that is marriage and equality in all aspects of marriage. She can go work while he is at home and he will go work while she is at home.
Yeah, but the laws extract $ from the working husband. So...somehow, through a backwards law book the hardworking person will pay for the lazy wife. Some laws are so backwards!
@@mightyminifarm Real men = simps
You are not a real man. Real men pump and dump.