All the household jobs, even with a full time, job fell on me. When I talked to him about it , early on, he said “hire someone.” That worked for a time until he started cheating, drinking and treating me badly. I had to stop engaging because I could see he enjoyed insulting me. I am alone now and at peace. I don’t really believe in love between men and women anymore. Looking back, the most joy I had was amongst friends, family and with my son.
Watering the plant is very good analogy. Anyone that has taken up gardening understands what it takes to maintain a good garden. The foundation is as equally important as the maintenance. The same thing is true of long sustainable good marriage!
Wow, He hit the nail on the head. This was my marriage. I'm absolutely devastated, we neglected each other and put the kids first. Its totally heart-breaking. She was an incredible woman I'm not sure I can forgive myself for that
@merrildegroot7862 she's dating someone else now after 3 and a half months of being separated. We were together for 13 years and she didn't want to go to marriage counselling. I've lost such a good woman
@@banzaiman1 these seem to be the ones that say after the divorce/negotiations/ counseling they are better friends than they were …because they WERE actually communicating unfortunately it was the plot of divorce vs their future.
@@krislee5343 to be fair that was me as well. However, I did make up for that by cooking us dinner and having date and movie nights at home. I would light a nice candle and give her massages. I think dating each other when you have kids can be really hard but you don't always have to go out. We did also do a lot together as a family too. I don't actually know of any couples who date each other after kids. They do family activities
Major relationship red flags that I've seen in my life and that I've seen other people go through: 1) Drug addiction 2) Behavioral addictions such as gambling, porn, serial infidelity, etc. 3) Financial irresponsibility. 4) Psychological issues, such as BPD, severe victim mentality, or high drama people. 5) Female menopause or male midlife crises (major underrated issues IMO).
Jordan Petterson. "The relationship comes first it comes before the husband it comes before the wife and it definitely comes before the children. Without the relationship, everyone suffers and it is definitely the case that the best thing you can model for your kids is how to be a responsible adult, and how to be a responsible adult in a long-term relationship." The relationship is the plot of the story.
My husband's drinking was getting out of hand. I tried everything to get him to quit, or at least cut down, but nothing worked. I quietly started to consider the "D" word until fate intervened. My husband had a severe stroke. It scared him so badly that he quit drinking completely. It's been 5 years now. Had it not been for that stroke, he would still be drinking, and we would be divorced.
@@unknowncomment85wrong, it is a duty of a lover to do everything to save their partner from the thing that is killing them and the relationship, including leaving. Leaving a person you love because that is the only way to make them understand that what yhey do is not ok is painful, but necessary.
@@unknowncomment85 She was clearly there for her husband after his stroke, and she is with him now. After-stroke care can be tedious, but she has remained with him. She only talked about leaving when alcohol became more important than his family.
I think it is both. Generally ppl are drinking because they are hurting. So as the partner and mate you need to say I can see you are hurting. What is hurting you. Maybe job, or relationship with parents or feeling like they should be further along
Therapist here. The host hit on an important thing: not arguing is not necessarily a good thing. Healthy arguing, discussion, negotiation is actually VERY important. Also, the lawyer talked about personal attacks (not his words) and that is also death to a relationship.
It could also be pre-planned with the secret Intention of making easy money, one spouse randomly leaves for someone with more money or status, someone lost a job and the partner won't put up with a loser, one of them is just bored and needs to find themselves, it wasn't what was imagined marriage would be like growing up, or so many other random bs reasons. I love the idea of getting married and having a family, but statistically you would have to be pretty insaine as a man to propose in todays culture.
There was a guy who explained it so well from the women's perspective where he showed that by the time the woman brings up an issue, it's not just a passing thought for her -- it's a PROBLEM. She's already close to the edge of the cliff at that point, and if it continues another time or 2, she's now on the ledge. And then she's out when it happens again, brings that up to the guy, who perks up and says "what? There's a problem? Why didn't you tell me?!" But she's already off the entire mountain at that point, even if she's still around. Moral of the story: take your lady's words seriously -- which requires actually listening -- and actually DO something upon hearing it by having a conversation about it, resolving it, etc. She might ONLY need to have it be re-framed from a different persective because "the story she's telling herself is..." OR something might actually need to be changed, etc. (I do that. 1 times's a fluke, 2's a pattern, 3 requires action on my part. FEW WANT TO BRING UP A PROBLEM AND BE LABELLED "DRAMATIC" OR A "NAG." I've since learned to bring it up the 2nd time).
30% of male-male marriages end in divorce. 50% of male-female marriages end in divorce. 70% of female-female marriages end in divorce….which man are you blaming those divorces on?
As a couple’s therapist, I can confirm this. This is supported by research - when the husband does not take his wife’s concerns seriously over time, this is a predictor for divorce.
And as millions of men divorced by modern minded women will attest thr woman will never take the blame as she destroys the family and find faults with the man always never admitting that they are the root of the problem and 80-90% will file divorce and get the children and money. If the courts awarded 90% of payments to men and close to 100% custody of children to men same as they now do for even extreme abusive drug addicted women, then divorce would drop by 90%. Modern minded women can never be happy, it is in their nature and among younger generation less than 10% of them will hold a marriage more than 5-15 years and so many using "mental health mefivations" and psychological issues. Thankfully now only 6 out of 1000 men in the west looking for marriage.
This was the best explanation of how people go from bliss to divorce, I have ever heard!!! Put God first and follow him and, listen to this guy, Amen!!!
This is me. I had a strong relationship with alcohol during my marriage. While I didn’t attribute the other marital problems directly to my drinking at the time I now see how it affected EVERYTHING else due to the vicious cycle of drinking, hangover, work repeat. I’ve been sober for quite awhile now but it was too late to save my marriage. Alcohol should be banished from our society. Period.
Why? Because you have no self-control? Plenty of people can drink responsibly, no adult needs a babysitter. Before you assume to know anything about me, I don’t drink. I never cared for the taste of liquor.
@ That’s what I said. I don’t know you and I don’t assume to know anything about you. You have an interesting way of assuming that I was speaking to you and assuming that I knew anything about you. I learned self control and if you would like any tips on how to control a what appears to be a massively inflated ego I’d be more than willing to give you some tips on being a little more humble, just like the God you claim to praise.
25 years of marriage here… golden rule; don’t take your partner or fights and arguments toooo seriously. We just think; I can’t stand him now BUT next week we’re launching again. And have a drink TOGETHER
Exactly, I was married for 29 years before my husband passed away. Yes we had our share of arguments, but we talked things and got through it. No name calling, no mean, hurtful put downs, just a adult way of exchanging opinions with an occasional emotional outburst. And the golden rule, I would never bring up past inertances. Once we bury the hatchet, you don't go back and dig it up again.
Same. I think mental/emotional health and physical health- overall wellbeing is such a priority and I want to be with a man who I can support on that journey as well, like partners should be. I’d love nothing more than to be a supportive wife to a man that helps me too. ❤ best of luck finding her
This is definitely what has ruined my marriage. Husband and I drank together before kids. After kids I didn’t really drink much at all but he got worse and worse and then threw in weed. He has always put drinking with friends, coworkers, and neighbors before me and the kids and even drives after drinking. I’ve had enough. He just filed this week.
There are no winners in divorce only losers my friend used to say. Hell metaphorically speaking is a place of endless suffering and pain, to some being married to someone feels like that. So the lawyers office is more like a purgatory or in-between place.
Me and my husband list the plot. I didn’t want to speak to him about it because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I just asked for a divorce and refused to explain why. Biggest mistake of my life.
I'm thinking sometimes people rush into things and go on a whim and get married as it's what they think is expected. We aren't married and if he left it would be less messy and expensive because we are not married but neither of us would. The main reason we are still together is that we think the same when it comes to kids. They need both of us and though every person is different and circumstances this should be priority esp when prob can be resolved.
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Asking this guy what characteristics of the relationship give rise to divorce is committing a serious type 1 error. He is a divorce lawyer- your not considering all the cases that didn't end up on his desk
That's the point though isn't it, he's giving his account of what he notices in terms of people coming to divorce. Of course some people may not divorce but have a bad relationship, however he's still going to be in a good position to tell you what he has noticed because often those facts are the basis for divorce or at least someone is relying on it
The lobster analogy is the other analogy - “slowly then fully boiled” Many people aren’t self aware…is another reason for old school community and people to be outside the pot to say it’s slowly bad and will become all bad “Do you care about losing your partner?”
Both my husband and I smoke marijuana, we got married on 420. We both are smart, responsible and each run our own company. We also have children. We are happy and have been together for almost 15 years and still going strong. The biggest problem that we have seen from our friends, none of which have lasted, is lack of honest communication
A sharp guy with the human touch. Martiages blow up because the wrong people got together usually out of lust and loneliness. People are too weak to wait for the right person. Then one day the right person turns up. See's the mess and chaos and walks away. Karma.
PSA for the gentleman, don't initiate physical touch only when you want sexual benefits out of the deal. She will only associate your touch with wanting sex. Four play is throughout the day
Regarding the patterns he watches, I will say that what I have noticed over a relatively long lifetime of watching relationships IS that once you've coupled up, it you aren't either engaged or married within a year, it will be awhile. Reality sets in and there is definitely more awareness that there is more to negotiate in the relationship than when it was shiny and new. That's not a bad thing in my opinion. Couples therapy before you marry would probably be a good thing for everyone. Know what you're getting into.
The two major causes of divorce are contempt and sexual insatiability. Familiarity does breed contempt. That's what they refer to here by forgetting to water the plant and losing the plot. However, sexual practices can be predicted by the person's history. THAT's why our partner's past is so important.
If u R Catholic or not, you need to practice gratefulness that you have your husband/wife next to you. And you can call it "lost the plot", and sometimes it is not possible to water then plant..as we R busy and overwhelmed by duties. What we should do is to do activities together we all enjoy..walking in the forest, pick up leaves, clime up the heal, play a bord game, build Lego, talk to each other, try to find out others fillings and opinions, show respect and gratefulness to them, tell them how important they are and how much u love them. It is pretty simple but hard at the same time in this crazy world! Watching the movie together is not a family quality time when everybody watches the screen with no interaction. Shopping as well is not. Good luck with it Guys! U can do it without tones of money and expensive hols!❤ But the willingness has to come from both sides.
There are a few patterns to divorce, women in menopause!! And the classic mid life crises , but i guess that is losing the plot ! I think communication is the problem, do people talk about the plan for their lives together and actually compromise on that?? My husband and I never talked about what we thought life would be, we just went with the flow, and so therefore we are notdisappointed. We didn't get married until we needed to, for future financial security (retirement) so not romantic at all!! There has been tough moments, I think the worst was due to menopausal issues, altgoigh financial stress causes a LOT of issues, but i believe we do work together on things and now we both work to connect with each other most days, as long as we keep doing that I think we will continue to be happily married. But yes you have to water the plant daily. Thank you Steven for another interesting guest interview
The one big contributing factor to divorce, is the fact that morons allow themselves to get in a relationship with someone who has no virtues. If you yourself have no virtue then of course you will attract one with no virtue. Virtuous people do good things, it’s that simple don’t over complicate it.
I didn’t want to get divorced. My husband until this doesn’t understand that we are getting divorced because he neglected me and rejected me of sex. While he was entertaining other women. I would find a new one every month. I also found phone numbers to prostitutes, profile on Ashley Madison. He’d tell me he can do better and how he lowered his standards because he was a doctor. He flirted with anything with hole. After I left he goes we can’t date until we file. Like what! We’re divorcing because you’re cheating. I don’t understand.
His example "what do you want me to do? Ignore the kid?" gives away his bias. His story is always about the woman not giving the man enough attention. He has a blind spot that gets in the way of seeing what women everywhere are trying to make known. Women are tired of the inequities in domestic responsibilities. Even when both spouses work, women have a disproportionate workload at home. Over time, women lose interest and become resentful. He'll never see it because he's focused on whether she's slowing down on the BJs.
Should men work less in their job and bring their income down to the woman's level so they can do a tad more domestic work? You know. Level it all out. Do you think that would be a workable solution?
Get the hell outta here. Women don't have any biases? If anything they have way more. Men are only loved on conditions,not unconditionally. It will always be that way. I accept that as one of lifes harsh truths. Cry me a river
Not sure why the ceo couple is splitting up if they have a kid. They get along, no mention of abuse or betrayal they are just busy with work and kid. Doesn’t seem like they threw the kitchen sink at a problem that needs that approach. Now that kid for the rest of their lives will have to navigate this situation because the parents weren’t haaaaappy and didn’t want to be bothered to try and emotionally reconnect.
Without alimony and child support, how many divorces would actually happen? Sure, if their was domestic violence, a serious inability to keep a lifestyle, or kids in the picture. I can understand helping with payments that directly go to the kid, but their is no excuse for alimony to go beyond 3 years without kids. It's actually an incentive to get divorced if you're having issues.
My marriage failed, largely because I didn't know how to nurture a relationship (didn't water the plant). My next few relationships failed because I was trying so hard not to make the same mistake (overwatered the plants). I have zero idea how to stay in the "sweet zone", so I figure I'm better off alone🤷♂
@anthonyju6392 Here's the thing.... Women initiate divorce around 80% of the time. The reason is because all women are different and all women change over time. Do over watering the plant and under watering a plant may work at different times. And unfortunately as men their is no real way to guarantee success while married. Especially with social media and the fact that average women are treated like rock stars. No matter what women will eventually think that they settled for who they married and they will start entertaining who they believe to be more on their level (what they believe they deserve) they are wrong by the way. But that's how they all think. It's called Hypergamy. The most important thing as a man u can do is stay in shape and keep your money up. Because when she leaves and they always do you will get younger more attractive women.
This is why you change nothing about you, if people cant handle you then its not ment to be. Or your insane like your standards and need professional help lowering the bar back into reality.
![[TH] 2024 PMGC League | Survival Stage วันที่ 1 | PUBG MOBILE Global Championship](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FVFT-PFwU80/mqdefault.jpg)
📺 Watch the full episode here
th-cam.com/video/oAgGirY-GUQ/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
All the household jobs, even with a full time, job fell on me. When I talked to him about it , early on, he said “hire someone.” That worked for a time until he started cheating, drinking and treating me badly. I had to stop engaging because I could see he enjoyed insulting me. I am alone now and at peace. I don’t really believe in love between men and women anymore. Looking back, the most joy I had was amongst friends, family and with my son.
Thank god I have a man who listens and cares so much. I'm so grateful for him!
you have to reciprocate the same energy, its not a one way street
@ 100%. That's why we're both extremely happy and successful as a couple.
Newly wed?
@ together 10 years.☺️
@@jennifers1040 it starts on year 11 🤨
Watering the plant is very good analogy. Anyone that has taken up gardening understands what it takes to maintain a good garden. The foundation is as equally important as the maintenance. The same thing is true of long sustainable good marriage!
I think I started hating my ex exactly when I went travel and when I came back my plant was dead. Plus other stuff of course.
Wow, He hit the nail on the head. This was my marriage. I'm absolutely devastated, we neglected each other and put the kids first. Its totally heart-breaking. She was an incredible woman I'm not sure I can forgive myself for that
Never to late to try and find a way together?
@merrildegroot7862 she's dating someone else now after 3 and a half months of being separated. We were together for 13 years and she didn't want to go to marriage counselling. I've lost such a good woman
@@banzaiman1 these seem to be the ones that say after the divorce/negotiations/ counseling they are better friends than they were …because they WERE actually communicating unfortunately it was the plot of divorce vs their future.
My ex wouldnt even hire a babysitter so we could go to a movie together just the two of us. What did he think would happen??
@@krislee5343 to be fair that was me as well. However, I did make up for that by cooking us dinner and having date and movie nights at home. I would light a nice candle and give her massages. I think dating each other when you have kids can be really hard but you don't always have to go out. We did also do a lot together as a family too. I don't actually know of any couples who date each other after kids. They do family activities
Taking things for granted and neglect are two of life's greatest sins.
Major relationship red flags that I've seen in my life and that I've seen other people go through:
1) Drug addiction
2) Behavioral addictions such as gambling, porn, serial infidelity, etc.
3) Financial irresponsibility.
4) Psychological issues, such as BPD, severe victim mentality, or high drama people.
5) Female menopause or male midlife crises (major underrated issues IMO).
Behavioral needs to include female forced celibacy / sexlessness. Destroys more marriages than is admitted. It's Women's dirty little secret
Yep. This is why wmn should never place too much importance on a m4an.
Agree.
@@manifest2203if men didn't place importance on women you'd be starving
@@manifest2203How did you make that list gender specific? That's impressive.
He is so likeable 💜 and he could be an amazing actor, the way he mimics situations and feelings is full of passion and done very authentically 🙂
It's the way he smiles as he talks, as though he's really enjoying what he's saying. It makes the other person feel like smiling back.
Agree, exactly the reason he is good in the court room in captivating the story.
Great marriage advice to remember here. I’m gonna go water our plant now😊
Jordan Petterson. "The relationship comes first it comes before the husband it comes before the wife and it definitely comes before the children. Without the relationship, everyone suffers and it is definitely the case that the best thing you can model for your kids is how to be a responsible adult, and how to be a responsible adult in a long-term relationship."
The relationship is the plot of the story.
Or if your spouse is addicted to be on their phone 24 seven and you just feel ignored!
This lawyer is SPOT ON!
He is a good man.
Listening to him has helped me a lot. Wish I understood these concepts when I was a young man.
I absolutely love listening to this guy. He really knows what hes talking about.
The plot is CONNECTION. When couples lose that, they lose everything.
My husband's drinking was getting out of hand. I tried everything to get him to quit, or at least cut down, but nothing worked. I quietly started to consider the "D" word until fate intervened. My husband had a severe stroke. It scared him so badly that he quit drinking completely. It's been 5 years now. Had it not been for that stroke, he would still be drinking, and we would be divorced.
indicates that you are a very unreliable person, does not take oaths seriously, i hope he realizes this and leaves you when you are struggling
@@unknowncomment85 rubbish. When a man doesn't respect himself he can't expect his wife to respect him. No respect = no relationship.
@@unknowncomment85wrong, it is a duty of a lover to do everything to save their partner from the thing that is killing them and the relationship, including leaving. Leaving a person you love because that is the only way to make them understand that what yhey do is not ok is painful, but necessary.
@@unknowncomment85 She was clearly there for her husband after his stroke, and she is with him now. After-stroke care can be tedious, but she has remained with him. She only talked about leaving when alcohol became more important than his family.
I think it is both. Generally ppl are drinking because they are hurting. So as the partner and mate you need to say I can see you are hurting. What is hurting you. Maybe job, or relationship with parents or feeling like they should be further along
Therapist here. The host hit on an important thing: not arguing is not necessarily a good thing. Healthy arguing, discussion, negotiation is actually VERY important. Also, the lawyer talked about personal attacks (not his words) and that is also death to a relationship.
4:48 “This person is not yours, this person is loaned to you.”
I love this lawyer. I have never been married.
Good for you, never marry!
Ditto!
😂
Marry and marry well, for if you do you will be happy. And if you do not, you will become a philosopher.
Lucky!
I wish I could seat down with James and discuss every topic under the sun!!!
This man is a GEM!!!
He is a walking psychology book❤
You could sit down with him….he charges $750/hr.. hire him!
Divorce happens when one party feels dominated and used, when the other party benefits at the expense of you.
It could also be pre-planned with the secret Intention of making easy money, one spouse randomly leaves for someone with more money or status, someone lost a job and the partner won't put up with a loser, one of them is just bored and needs to find themselves, it wasn't what was imagined marriage would be like growing up, or so many other random bs reasons. I love the idea of getting married and having a family, but statistically you would have to be pretty insaine as a man to propose in todays culture.
I mediated 5000 divorces and I thought the most common pattern was when the husband did not take take his wife’s biggest complaint seriously.
What was the most common main complaint of the wives?
Source: trust me bro
@@JWB671 substance abuse, especially metamphetamine, and violence or the threat of violence.
There was a guy who explained it so well from the women's perspective where he showed that by the time the woman brings up an issue, it's not just a passing thought for her -- it's a PROBLEM. She's already close to the edge of the cliff at that point, and if it continues another time or 2, she's now on the ledge. And then she's out when it happens again, brings that up to the guy, who perks up and says "what? There's a problem? Why didn't you tell me?!" But she's already off the entire mountain at that point, even if she's still around. Moral of the story: take your lady's words seriously -- which requires actually listening -- and actually DO something upon hearing it by having a conversation about it, resolving it, etc. She might ONLY need to have it be re-framed from a different persective because "the story she's telling herself is..." OR something might actually need to be changed, etc.
(I do that. 1 times's a fluke, 2's a pattern, 3 requires action on my part. FEW WANT TO BRING UP A PROBLEM AND BE LABELLED "DRAMATIC" OR A "NAG." I've since learned to bring it up the 2nd time).
30% of male-male marriages end in divorce. 50% of male-female marriages end in divorce. 70% of female-female marriages end in divorce….which man are you blaming those divorces on?
As a couple’s therapist, I can confirm this. This is supported by research - when the husband does not take his wife’s concerns seriously over time, this is a predictor for divorce.
And as millions of men divorced by modern minded women will attest thr woman will never take the blame as she destroys the family and find faults with the man always never admitting that they are the root of the problem and 80-90% will file divorce and get the children and money. If the courts awarded 90% of payments to men and close to 100% custody of children to men same as they now do for even extreme abusive drug addicted women, then divorce would drop by 90%. Modern minded women can never be happy, it is in their nature and among younger generation less than 10% of them will hold a marriage more than 5-15 years and so many using "mental health mefivations" and psychological issues. Thankfully now only 6 out of 1000 men in the west looking for marriage.
only husband? what if wife not take his husband's concern seriously over time?
@@chrisathian5450 are you a child? do you not know that men don't matter in western society?
@@chrisathian5450 Wives bring up the children usually, so they have more 'concerns'.
Yeah,for real, that absolutely goes both ways. A given. @@chrisathian5450
As my dad used to say: First comes mom and me, then there is a gap, then comes you kids, and then after a while the other stuff
This was the best explanation of how people go from bliss to divorce, I have ever heard!!! Put God first and follow him and, listen to this guy, Amen!!!
Stop saying that. Not everyone is religious
Nope not ur man made gd
Ungratefulness & Pride are the roots of unhappiness!!
This is me. I had a strong relationship with alcohol during my marriage. While I didn’t attribute the other marital problems directly to my drinking at the time I now see how it affected EVERYTHING else due to the vicious cycle of drinking, hangover, work repeat. I’ve been sober for quite awhile now but it was too late to save my marriage. Alcohol should be banished from our society. Period.
I'm glad you broke your addiction but it's absurd that you want to ban something that's pleasurable to some because you can't control yourself💀
Why? Because you have no self-control? Plenty of people can drink responsibly, no adult needs a babysitter. Before you assume to know anything about me, I don’t drink. I never cared for the taste of liquor.
@
That’s what I said. I don’t know you and I don’t assume to know anything about you. You have an interesting way of assuming that I was speaking to you and assuming that I knew anything about you. I learned self control and if you would like any tips on how to control a what appears to be a massively inflated ego I’d be more than willing to give you some tips on being a little more humble, just like the God you claim to praise.
People who have a high degree of consciousness are the ones who have enjoyable relationships.
Or hood relationships - Eckhart
Lack of attention, laziness, being taken for granted, drinking - led to my marriage ending !
25 years of marriage here… golden rule; don’t take your partner or fights and arguments toooo seriously. We just think; I can’t stand him now BUT next week we’re launching again. And have a drink TOGETHER
Exactly, I was married for 29 years before my husband passed away. Yes we had our share of arguments, but we talked things and got through it. No name calling, no mean, hurtful put downs, just a adult way of exchanging opinions with an occasional emotional outburst. And the golden rule, I would never bring up past inertances. Once we bury the hatchet, you don't go back and dig it up again.
3:30 in is such good advice! Why can't we hear it right!!!!
I love James Sexton.😊
I'll be happy with a girlfriend that's interested in creating health in her life. If I can be of help to her on her path, I would enjoy that.
Same. I think mental/emotional health and physical health- overall wellbeing is such a priority and I want to be with a man who I can support on that journey as well, like partners should be. I’d love nothing more than to be a supportive wife to a man that helps me too. ❤ best of luck finding her
This is definitely what has ruined my marriage. Husband and I drank together before kids. After kids I didn’t really drink much at all but he got worse and worse and then threw in weed. He has always put drinking with friends, coworkers, and neighbors before me and the kids and even drives after drinking. I’ve had enough. He just filed this week.
You don't grow apart when You've become as One. Whether talking about a nation or a household, You only "Self" destruct from within.
I like how he says "and it leads right to my office". 😅 His office sounds like a bad place, akin to hell. 😅
There are no winners in divorce only losers my friend used to say. Hell metaphorically speaking is a place of endless suffering and pain, to some being married to someone feels like that. So the lawyers office is more like a purgatory or in-between place.
… the road to hell,
is filled with good intentions
Me and my husband list the plot. I didn’t want to speak to him about it because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I just asked for a divorce and refused to explain why. Biggest mistake of my life.
If you don’t mind sharing, what was it that you didn’t tell him. Why were you unhappy?
Can you fix it?
It’s typically the male that’s not the best at communicating- and I put myself in that lot.
@ 😂😂
@ not now. Married fir 3 years … friends thereafter for 20 plus Yrs then he died at 53. That was 11 years ago!
I'm thinking sometimes people rush into things and go on a whim and get married as it's what they think is expected. We aren't married and if he left it would be less messy and expensive because we are not married but neither of us would. The main reason we are still together is that we think the same when it comes to kids. They need both of us and though every person is different and circumstances this should be priority esp when prob can be resolved.
Very cool video A month ago, I ended a five-year relationship. My soulmate made the decision to walk away from me, and even though I've done everything in my power to get him back, I can't help but feel disappointed because I can't see my life with anyone else. I want to say that I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I simply can't. I miss him so much and I don't know why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
If you love someone, don't need to do business with them.
I think selfishness is what does it either side.
So good 😊 he would be a great Actor. Loved what you said very interesting!
Damn he worded that perfectly at the end ❤
Bro these titles are getting worse and worse be careful with the greediness
Right?!
he hasn't spoken about ben and jlo at all yet ✊️
It makes perfect sense. Marriage obligations cannot be fulfilled when the mind is clouded with alcohol or drugs.
The axe forgets what the tree remembers.
Asking this guy what characteristics of the relationship give rise to divorce is committing a serious type 1 error. He is a divorce lawyer- your not considering all the cases that didn't end up on his desk
That's the point though isn't it, he's giving his account of what he notices in terms of people coming to divorce. Of course some people may not divorce but have a bad relationship, however he's still going to be in a good position to tell you what he has noticed because often those facts are the basis for divorce or at least someone is relying on it
I love Lawyer James. He would absolutely make the best husband.
He’s divorced because he cheated on his wife…you should watch his first visit to this podcast
People are good at describing and entailing others journey. He went through lot of marriage cases to give the outline. Don’t fall for that😅
That must have been what his ex-wife thought… until he cheated on her.
@@tadghsmith1457 All men cheat. The better ones do it with a colleague. The abhorrent ones do it with an illegal. In my experience 😢
The lobster analogy is the other analogy - “slowly then fully boiled”
Many people aren’t self aware…is another reason for old school community and people to be outside the pot to say it’s slowly bad and will become all bad
“Do you care about losing your partner?”
Man.. that guy is so damn charismatic!
So many of these comments are wonerfully insightful, Thank you to all 256 of you. :)
“They were both CEO’s.” There in lies the problem.
Most likely psychopaths…🤔
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@DrRock2009sociopaths not psychopath
“They were both CEO’s.” - They won't get it. The speakers are too woke to understand what this means.
If you ever have the chance to sit down and have a few drinks and talk with either a cop, an ER nurse, or a divorce lawyer, do it.
Both my husband and I smoke marijuana, we got married on 420. We both are smart, responsible and each run our own company. We also have children. We are happy and have been together for almost 15 years and still going strong.
The biggest problem that we have seen from our friends, none of which have lasted, is lack of honest communication
Ya I knew a guy who blazed with his mom. He has bipolar now and went to the psych ward
Are your kids safe, getting good educations, and on the path to be productive citizens?
To a hammer everything's a nail
A sharp guy with the human touch.
Martiages blow up because the wrong people got together usually out of lust and loneliness.
People are too weak to wait for the right person.
Then one day the right person turns up.
See's the mess and chaos and walks away.
Karma.
How many couples get divorced when the woman goes thru menopause??
PSA for the gentleman, don't initiate physical touch only when you want sexual benefits out of the deal. She will only associate your touch with wanting sex. Four play is throughout the day
🤣🤣🤣
Regarding the patterns he watches, I will say that what I have noticed over a relatively long lifetime of watching relationships IS that once you've coupled up, it you aren't either engaged or married within a year, it will be awhile. Reality sets in and there is definitely more awareness that there is more to negotiate in the relationship than when it was shiny and new. That's not a bad thing in my opinion. Couples therapy before you marry would probably be a good thing for everyone. Know what you're getting into.
The two major causes of divorce are contempt and sexual insatiability. Familiarity does breed contempt. That's what they refer to here by forgetting to water the plant and losing the plot.
However, sexual practices can be predicted by the person's history. THAT's why our partner's past is so important.
James Sexton you are really something. ❤ from NZ
If u R Catholic or not, you need to practice gratefulness that you have your husband/wife next to you. And you can call it "lost the plot", and sometimes it is not possible to water then plant..as we R busy and overwhelmed by duties. What we should do is to do activities together we all enjoy..walking in the forest, pick up leaves, clime up the heal, play a bord game, build Lego, talk to each other, try to find out others fillings and opinions, show respect and gratefulness to them, tell them how important they are and how much u love them. It is pretty simple but hard at the same time in this crazy world! Watching the movie together is not a family quality time when everybody watches the screen with no interaction. Shopping as well is not. Good luck with it Guys! U can do it without tones of money and expensive hols!❤ But the willingness has to come from both sides.
This seems like a dude that is, somehow, a divorce lawyer for the right reason.
On slippage, quote from the Vorlons in Babylon 5: "The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote."
Damn that's a nice quote!
That is how it begins... and it leads to my office someday 😄 👌
Lack of trust.
Of course it’s the divorce attorney who turns out to be an amazing marriage counsellor.
There are a few patterns to divorce, women in menopause!! And the classic mid life crises , but i guess that is losing the plot ! I think communication is the problem, do people talk about the plan for their lives together and actually compromise on that?? My husband and I never talked about what we thought life would be, we just went with the flow, and so therefore we are notdisappointed. We didn't get married until we needed to, for future financial security (retirement) so not romantic at all!! There has been tough moments, I think the worst was due to menopausal issues, altgoigh financial stress causes a LOT of issues, but i believe we do work together on things and now we both work to connect with each other most days, as long as we keep doing that I think we will continue to be happily married. But yes you have to water the plant daily. Thank you Steven for another interesting guest interview
By the time women hit their 40's they've had enough.
Addiction is a major problem. You are more likely to develop and drinking problem if you're in-laws also have the problem.
Ignore this man, stay in the gym fellas!
I mediated 5005 divorces and I thought the most common pattern was when the wife did not take the husbands biggest complain seriously.
Alcohol use can be a symptom rather than the cause of a bad marriage.
Both CEO = Both Workaholics
5:00 Little raindrops that eventually become a flood
4:02 "Marriage Story" featuring Divorce Lawyer 🤣
Always trouble when one partner likes golf and the other doesn’t.
Contempt.
Like this man! 😊
But he has immense ego. Now don’t ask how am I sure😅 Someone who can obey and agree to his things most of the time will only work.
The one big contributing factor to divorce, is the fact that morons allow themselves to get in a relationship with someone who has no virtues. If you yourself have no virtue then of course you will attract one with no virtue.
Virtuous people do good things, it’s that simple don’t over complicate it.
Don’t over complicate a complicated topic. That’s quite the demand.
@@Dionysus_Athena I agree. However, some people *think* they are virtuous and hide their darkness.
@@acs2735 I understand that. Unfortunately some people are really good at hiding who they truly are.
@@Dionysus_Athena To the detriment of others and society, sadly.
Excessive sports watching snd beer drinking are marriage-killing addictions.
Crap, that reminds me … I gotta water my plants.
J-Lo was on the casting sofa for P Diddy.
My professional observations about substance use as well.
Nice words!!!!
Just don’t get married
It keeps lawyers out of your life.
I didn’t want to get divorced. My husband until this doesn’t understand that we are getting divorced because he neglected me and rejected me of sex. While he was entertaining other women. I would find a new one every month. I also found phone numbers to prostitutes, profile on Ashley Madison. He’d tell me he can do better and how he lowered his standards because he was a doctor. He flirted with anything with hole.
After I left he goes we can’t date until we file. Like what! We’re divorcing because you’re cheating. I don’t understand.
I'm curious what the logic was behind *lowering* standards due to being a doctor? Wouldn't it normally be the opposite?
@ I’m not a physician. Basically told saying he could’ve married better.
Dammit. OK, heard. I'm gonna get better.
James Sexton ❣👏👏👏👏
Never marry if your partner easily accepts marriage.
What an interesting guy!
His example "what do you want me to do? Ignore the kid?" gives away his bias. His story is always about the woman not giving the man enough attention. He has a blind spot that gets in the way of seeing what women everywhere are trying to make known. Women are tired of the inequities in domestic responsibilities. Even when both spouses work, women have a disproportionate workload at home. Over time, women lose interest and become resentful. He'll never see it because he's focused on whether she's slowing down on the BJs.
Should men work less in their job and bring their income down to the woman's level so they can do a tad more domestic work? You know. Level it all out. Do you think that would be a workable solution?
Oh, the inequities! Please, men are on to this bullshit and simply stopped caring about the "inequities".
Get the hell outta here. Women don't have any biases? If anything they have way more. Men are only loved on conditions,not unconditionally. It will always be that way. I accept that as one of lifes harsh truths. Cry me a river
Projecting
@@inotherwords14 I replied but someone didn't like my answer so try deleted it. They couldn't handle the truth I guess
Not sure why the ceo couple is splitting up if they have a kid. They get along, no mention of abuse or betrayal they are just busy with work and kid. Doesn’t seem like they threw the kitchen sink at a problem that needs that approach. Now that kid for the rest of their lives will have to navigate this situation because the parents weren’t haaaaappy and didn’t want to be bothered to try and emotionally reconnect.
All this can be understood, Jesse Lee Peter son. Woke me up from all this mess, its I can see clearly now what afflicts us all.
Without alimony and child support, how many divorces would actually happen? Sure, if their was domestic violence, a serious inability to keep a lifestyle, or kids in the picture. I can understand helping with payments that directly go to the kid, but their is no excuse for alimony to go beyond 3 years without kids. It's actually an incentive to get divorced if you're having issues.
The more you nag and moan at someone for doing things, the more you do things for the guilt of doing it and not for the love of doing it.
Big pattern...mainly money
And kids it seems😅
Marriage is for idiots, but I can’t wait to marry my current girl. What an angel she is 😂
My marriage failed, largely because I didn't know how to nurture a relationship (didn't water the plant).
My next few relationships failed because I was trying so hard not to make the same mistake (overwatered the plants).
I have zero idea how to stay in the "sweet zone", so I figure I'm better off alone🤷♂
Here’s some advice: be yourself, stick with it and don’t let anyone tell how you should water plants.
The first part I get but not sure I understand trying so hard not to make the same mistake. How did you overwater the plant?
@@anthonyju6392 maybe he over-nurtured and that got suffocating
@anthonyju6392 Here's the thing.... Women initiate divorce around 80% of the time. The reason is because all women are different and all women change over time. Do over watering the plant and under watering a plant may work at different times. And unfortunately as men their is no real way to guarantee success while married. Especially with social media and the fact that average women are treated like rock stars. No matter what women will eventually think that they settled for who they married and they will start entertaining who they believe to be more on their level (what they believe they deserve) they are wrong by the way. But that's how they all think. It's called Hypergamy.
The most important thing as a man u can do is stay in shape and keep your money up. Because when she leaves and they always do you will get younger more attractive women.
Perhaps get a cactus and put it in a sunny window.
This is why you change nothing about you, if people cant handle you then its not ment to be. Or your insane like your standards and need professional help lowering the bar back into reality.
In the immortal words of Rick James:
Cocaines a helluva drug !!!