the struggles of my legal name change
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
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Tooth necklace
yeah, it's his wisdom teeth.
thanks for talking about this, I've had a hard time expressing this type of worry to my cis friends and family since they all believe the "just change it and magic it's all better" idea.
You should make a parody of legally blonde called legally Ashton (random thought of the day)
It is so cool that your dad helped you with this huge bit of your life
I'm not trans, but I did change my name, and I also get to change it on my birth certificate. I do share the mental and emotional trauma every single time I hear my dead name though. I legit kinda breakdown. I hate it.
Me right now wanting to breakdown. I just hate my whole name.
i get you, i sometimes feel like ppl simply don’t want to acknowledge me as katherine :( it sucks
@@wivelythirst Parents gave me Katherine as my middle name. Always hated it.
It's interesting how one name resonates with one person and doesn't with the other. Your name is not your real name until you feel resonance with that name.
@@YumegakaMurakumo oh my god honestly yea i get that i have one friend who’s name is jaden and he hates it so much
Hey I'm so sorry that you went through this. Being a senior in HS is stressful already and I cannot even imagine what you went through with all this paperwork.
This was both interesting and informational. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I'm sorry that you can't get your birth certificate changed. I'm so fortunate to have been born in Texas and still live here. Hopefully when I eventually legally transition It'll go smoothly.
(By the way, the slight sunburn across your nose and cheekbones looks really cute)
I did all the paper work in one day, waiting on the results. They were only concerned I was neither a criminal nor a sex offender and since I am neither, we'll see.
The reason you had to post it in the court house likely was just to make sure that it’s fully public so that if you are on the run from cops or something they know what your name is now. I had to have my name change in the newspaper for three weeks so that sucked.
Lol what happened
Right but I wish there was another way... That stuffs dangerous
@@SG-zp4fz If it isn’t safe for you to do this like if you’re stealth then you can go to your courthouse and get an exemption but it’s much more complicated
I actually work customer service for ACT. When students ask to change their name, we just ask for a scan/picture of valid documentation with the new name attached to an email and we just change it no questions asked. I'm sorry you had to go through that with us back then.
I'm planning on changing my name also so I understand the struggle.
Thank you for talking about the stuff with Canada I know it might seem niche but as a dual citizen it was really helpful!
I had to petition the news, wait a month, get a lawyer, get a court date, pay $300 (USD), sign a shit ton in papers, then I got my passport changed. The school refused to change my name in their records??? Until they saw my birth certificate??? Like okay wtf but one amazing staff member told the school supervisor that was a hate crime :))) I cant change anything else rn I love The Deep South 😩👌 I totally get your struggles and I’m sorry that you’re still facing this crap
From what I have seen, most states require some kind of public posting for a name change (unless its from marriage, divorce, adoption, etc.). In Georgia, I had to publish it in the local newspaper once a week for four weeks. It's a stupid extra expense for basically no reason, like you said. It took two months and almost $300 to get it changed.
Also, my birth name haunts me over 6 months after getting it changed, too. The main issue is my insurance and medical stuff. My insurance is through my mom's job, so they require my mom to confirm my name change. It's a ridiculous rule. My name is legally recognized as Oliver, so why do they need my fucking mom's permission to change the name in their system? I am twenty-fucking-one years old. Because my parents are transphobic, they refuse to let the insurance company update my name. Technically, "[birth name]" doesn't exist anymore and "Oliver" isn't insured, so I could lose my insurance or worse--I could get charged with insurance fraud. I have multiple complex health needs, including type 1 diabetes. My parents are willing to let me lose my insurance, my insulin, my insulin pump, and my continuous glucose monitor in order to "teach me a lesson" about changing my name without their permission (even though i paid for it myself and I"m an adult).
Did u get your own insurance?
@@kendraseer5198 exactly. If I was in that situation, I'd be like screw the parents, get off of their insurance, and get my own insurance. I wouldn't let them prevent me from getting the healthcare I need because of their transphobia.
my birth name haunts me too..and everyday i have to deal with it and it just brings me a bad feeling..i’m not trans btw, i’m a proud trans ally, i love everything related to trans ppl, i love hearing their stories. i just have bad memories about my name and i wanna change it yk..and when i see trans ppl//content i feel like i’m not alone somehow, like i’m not the only one fighting to be myself ❤️
I'm in the same boat, but I'm non-binary. I grew up with abusive parents and my name makes me ill and triggers me. I cant wait to change my name
I live in the uk all I did to change my name was to order a document online. When I received it all I had to do was write my old signature and my new signature. I also needed a suspect signature. After it was signed it was official. You can also change your gender marker with the same process. It took 3 days for the documents to come it was super easy! Edit: it was £16 aswell!
Dang, I wish it was that easy here
dude that’s so easy wtf LMAO
Thanks for talking about this! I've been interested in what the name changing process was like for you, thank you!
I chose the name Ashton before i started watching you, turns out you’re my favourite TH-camr 😂
Dude this came on the day my moms filing for my name change lol
Jordan aWholeMess me too!!!
Sucks that you can do everything right and people can still screw up your shit, thanks for making a video on this though, nice to have a heads up for when my bf is going to have to go through this
i hope all goes smoothly for your boyfriend!!
@@graveyardpansy yeah, it's been hard for him, he lives in the painfully ironic state of Missouri, but yeah even though his family is shit over there (I just have to throw shade) He's had me there to keep him company for the past couple years, it's so hard seeing him hurt from just so much crap, but I'm glad I get to be there with him through it ya' know, but yeah, sorry about the wall of text, I'm like a little girl talking about their crush when it comes to him
I'm so damn lucky that my birth name is androgynous and I can keep using it.
I have a double name and in my country you can delete one of your first names with little hassle.
Legal name changes sound so difficult to do
Thank you for sharing your story, I love to listen to you, you are good energy!! I was in my first year at University and I told every teacher I wanted to be called Kay instead of my birth name. Well, my Russian teacher really liked my birth name, and so she wanted to keep using it… I kind of forced her not to use it. But then imagine myself when I come back from the Christmas break and she literally refers to me in front of the whole class as my birth name. Uni is an environment where I just am Kay, and someone calling me my birthname really hurt me and made me feel so insecure, so unsafe, it was like taking away from me my protection against so many things in my life… That was a terrible experience which kind of ruined the overall success with being called a different name, so I think I understand how that you had your birthname on the student ID impacted you, Ashton, after having legally changed your name I can not even imagine.. Also, I spent the whole year hiding the front side of my ID because I did not want anyone to know my birthname… It is a hard thing to live not to identify with the name you were assigned.Changing your name is an exp, and I agree with you so much, when you do it, you realise just how much the birthname and gender are used.
I live in NC and I so so badly want to legally change my name but the process honestly boggles my mind and intimidates me. Like it’s so long that it’s seems like even if I started the process soon it would take so long for to actually happen. I know I need to do it though, especially being in college and my big fear around hearing my birth name (I know I can email my instructor/I’m just saying that it’ll be so much better when my name is legally changed)
I changed my name at the school, and they changed it on most of the things, but the student ID was wrong. We don't use them for anything though so I didn't really mind.
i am currently changing all my documents and its exhausthing honestly
i live in brazil and i changed my sex on my birth certificate, so that means i have to enlist in the army (like i wont serve but i need the document that says i went there?) and im terrified lol that is the next thing i need to sort out 😭
ps: unrelated but your jawline looks amazing
Why wont you serve?
@@Alexeygirlfight Huh? isnt this person trying to be a male? Can a person legally change their age because they "feel" that age?
@@KitchenWitchery its a person that desires to visually look like the opposite sex.
Omg I can relate with you so much!!! I never got called by my birth name by anyone. But at school my birth name is different to my preferred name at school.if any sort of event would turn up at school where they need to do a register. I would work myself up so much before that would happen. I honestly would have been mortified if they read my legal name out onfront of everyone. It doesn’t sound that major but my life revolved around it.
ahh, I actually started the process with my dad today, how, universe, how?
noelifted how has it been?
I’m only 12 years old and really think I’m FTM transgender, I hate being a girl but I’m scared to come out because I feel like people will not accept me because of my age when it’s who I am and I can’t change it... dysphoria sucks and I have resulted to doing some terrible things to harm myself because I’m scared and don’t have anyone to talk to about it, no one around understands me and I don’t know who to go to
@Lyla I'm the same way only I'm one year older than you. I always have been more like a boy to the point where my Best friend said that she's scared if I am trans. That frickin scared me when I started thinking about it. I'm still trying to figure if I am trans or something else. But if you have anyone that is really close to you like siblings or a best friend than I think you should tell them but only when your ready listen to yourself and what you want to do. It will be really hard to come out but hopefully everyone would be accepting. I wish you luck 😊😊
Your hair looks great 💯✴️
Changing your name in the uk is so easy, it’s like £15 and a quick form later and it’s done, then you call up anywhere that has your old name and ask them to change it
I came out as trans but my family doesn’t know I wanna change my real name. My name is Zaire which is gender neutral name and the name I wanna change it to is more feminine than my real name. I feel weird because I really like the name I picked it took a while to find a name that I would like. And when I finally found my name I felt sooo happy. But I feel like since I’m Agender/trans person it would be weird to have a feminine name which is “Nakoda” but I honestly don’t care what people will think about my new name but than again I get social dysphoria thoughts about what people will think about it. But I try to brush those thoughts away... But I also feel bad about changing my name because my real name isn’t bad and it’s gender neutral it’s a ok name but sometimes when someone calls on me it makes me upset to have my real name and my name feels like a darkness kinda like a trap. Idk how to explain it but yea. But when I call myslef my new name alone I feel so happy and a bundle of joy. I be so happy calling myself my name I picked. And also ik you shouldn’t be worried about being trans enough but when I found my name I felt like more valid kinda idk if that’s bad way to feel. But I have bad mind Dysphoria I always think I’m fake and not trans enough and when I found my name I felt better about being trans and less Dysphoric like. And I also wanna cut my hair short to have less mind Dysphoria. And I feel like I would be happy with a short haircut and even more prouder to be the new me.
I was born in Singapore (but I live in Canada) so I really don’t think I’m going to have an easy time changing my birth certificate 😅
Ugh I know the fucking struggles. I’ve been Elliott for two years, but I still get letters in my birth name. I’m sorry, pal ❤️
Nice video! I live in the Uk and it’s so different to the US!! Can’t believe it, it’s crazy difficult for you. I feel sorry but you’ve done incredibly well, good on you!
I got an exemption from having to post the name change in the newspaper, and I didn't have to pay to get my name changed because I'm on disability. I only had to jump through hoops to get my name and gender marker changed for my birth certificate. That took 4 months, and it was such a huge relief what that was done.
Unfortunately, my birth name is on so many different affordable housing lists from several years ago, so I get affordable housing mail with my deadname, and it's distressing. Sometimes I get letters telling me that there are no apartments available, so I won't bother changing those.
But if it's a letter saying housing is available, I might have to contact those people and tell them my name has changed, which means I have to say my deadname so they can look it up in the system and that makes me feel utterly stressed out.
I was born in Texas too. I haven’t changed my name and gender legally yet, but I’m hoping to soon. I worked with a legal clinic thing a couple weeks ago on paperwork for it, and we literally had to go through the paperwork and change the word “gender” to “sex” for Texas to accept it when it comes time to change my birth certificate
I've been wanting to change my name socially not legally. I'm not trans but this video highlights the struggles of name changes.
I have to go to court if I want to change my name
I want to change my surname to my grandma's and i need to get a lawyer and go to trial which will cost me around 670 dollars lmao
I’m sorry it’s so difficult and tedious.
I’m going through the process now in Michigan. For me it’s more so the cost. It’s ridiculous how much money it is to change your name. It’s well over $300+ ....
PsychedPerspective I’m lucky, in Oregon they have the name change and sex change all in one form so I only had to pay one fee of $120 which is still ridiculous but a lot cheaper than other states
Brandon Hornak oh wow yeah that’s a much better price but yes I agree with you it’s ridiculous
Rewatching and thought I should note is that the reason they would have you put your name in the courthouse (as crazy as it is because nobody would read it) is probably in case you were trying to escape a creditor by changing your name. That way they are supposedly able to go to court and say “so-and-so owes me money.” Here in Saskatchewan, Canada we don’t have to put it up in the Courthouse but instead a name change must be published (with very niche limited exceptions) into a publication nobody reads called “The Saskatchewan Gazette.”
This sounds like a very long & costly process you're talking about. The modern identity state in which we live would have driven insane the average 18th or 19th century American or Canadian. From time to time I have thought about: 1. legally reversing my first & middle names; 2. making my middle name my first & adopting a new middle name; or 3. adopting an entirely new name after some of my favorite musicians (last name Lennerty would be a portmanteu of Lennon & Fogerty). Given the time & expense required, option 1 would be the least worth it, & option 3 the most worth it.
For me my struggle for name change was that I went my whole life without anyone noticing that my birth certificate didn’t have a number on it, apparently everyone has a number on their birth certificate and I just didn’t have one. So we had to get a new one under my birthname to then go through the name change process.
I've got a similar annoyance with my work using my deadname. I updated them, but they said they couldn't change my username. Okay, whatevs, obviously deadname in my username is shittt...
Wait, why the fuck is it still deadnaming me all across the computer system we use!? It will all say $DEADNAME on things like checking my paystub or my schedule or anything else.
Then I click on the thing and it has the correct name showing on the internal side of whatever form I'm checking. They have all the info but just failed to change almost any of it.
It's ridiculous that you had to go through so much to change your name. I live in Virginia and all i had to do was fill out a form, pay $41 and wait for the judge to approve it
The posted name change is to prevent people using the system to disappear from their old identity in case of crimes etc. Luckily you didn’t have to also have it printed in a newspaper.
sounds so frustrating. sorry the process was a little rough
my middle name is eve so i’m hoping to change it to adam,, might as well keep it bible themed even though i’m an atheist ✨
im v scared of the bathroom and i cant just avoid it because im living in a dorm because i go to a fancy private school
i changed my name in the court but my dad is to lazy to go through the process of changing all the other things and because im 15 idk how to do any of the stuff n im not even sure what needs to be changed so yeah fun fun, if i get into a medical emergency while at school the entire school will know my deadname so thats scary
I didn’t change my gender marker, but I did change my (last) name after my mother remarried, so as to match her and my father and my brother, in middle school (circa age 12). Even in British Columbia, Canada and without the gender marker issue, it was a PITA and still comes up occasionally.
I have similar cross border issues as someone born in the US but raised in Canada. Thankfully they amended my North Carolina birth certificate without issue, just needing a copy of my Canadian change of name certificate (not technically a court order because change of name is generally separate from the courts here) and old birth certificate brought in by my North Carolinian grandmother, but everything else was varying levels of irritating. When I first changed my name, you could get a Canadian passport with a citizenship certificate and a change of name certificate, but when I went to get my adult passport 5 years later they told me that despite **already holding a Canadian passport in my “new” name** I had to pay $75 and wait a few months to get an amended citizenship certificate before I could apply for a new passport because the rules had changed.
I didn’t fully get everything US changed over until 5 years after I got the change of name, because changing with Social Security required me to drive to an office in person (despite living in Canada over 5 hours from such an office) and they wouldn’t take any of my Canadian documents until a supervisor came in about an hour into the process (and after probably another hour of waiting beforehand) and overrode everything. When I registered for selective service, it came up again because despite having changed it it wouldn’t recognize my new name with my social security number. There’s a paper form, but it only works within the US. I couldn’t get a hold of a human being at the US consulate so I ended up dialing random extensions until finally someone helped me get everything sorted out.
I agree with your conclusion that there is no way in hell I am going through that again just for a matching married name (as much as I think it would be funny to hyphenate all my last names with my boyfriend’s and end up with a 5-name-long hyphenated last name 😆)
And don’t even get me started on how the “preferred name” system at my university, which is allegedly meant partially for trans people who haven’t been able to get their paperwork, is hilariously inconsistent and unreliable. (I use it because I’ve always gone by my middle name, Casey, as was/is the tradition on my biological father’s side).
TL;DR: I empathize because I know the hell of crossborder name change shenanigans.
I have to take out an ad in the newspaper saying that my name is changed😭. I hate it here.
I really hate my first and last names (my real name, not my youtube name). But there's no way I'm going to change it because there's paperwork and all the contracts and leases and bank accounts I'm under... I just can't bring myself to go through all the work. There's too many people saying how much work it is to get everything changed.
"Thank the Devil for your Dad"? The Devil is evil you don't thank the Devil you thank God for your Dad. You thank the Devil for the chaos you are going through... I have had friends who change her name and because I'm am dyslexic and to this day I can relate I still call her by her new name but she was never a Shayna she is still Anna to me. So don't expect others to follow. For they may not see you the same way again...
Going through 75% of the issues. TOTALLY relate. 🤔🙂
In California you must have the notice forms published in a newspaper for a whole month!?
How tf do u upload so often
I have a nephew named Walter and another nephew whos name iwas Joey. It seems more civily legal to only have one name and not a last name if you would aspire to change it: You should only be able to change your first and last name into only one name or more conscious to change one or the other or to give yourself a Middle name if your family didn't grant you a Middle name. I also have a nephew named Danielle.
I myself have concerns about legally changing my name (not really sure if I'll ever change my gender marker) due to my dual citizenship (although in my case it's between Canada and the UK). If you still haven't heard anything about your Passport you should call the Passport Canada office you sent the paperwork to. The squeaky wheel get's the grease! I don't know about Applications from the USA or name/gender changes but I guess I'm lucky I'm within driving distance to the Saskatoon, Saskatchewan office of Passport Canada... They get me my passports shipped out express post quite quickly!
How long did the whole process of legally getting your name changed take? I've had my notice on the courthouse for ten days and am supposed to be starting the next process this week. I'm trying to get it changed before I turn 16 (at least file it so I don't have to go through those extra steps). I'm also in NC
I'm not trans, but I did change both first name slightly and surname as I got married and it is a struggle.
Okay I feeeel you. So, I changed my name legally at the end of this past June. Thankfully, I had the help of TLDEF to get me that far. But I already knew I was going to be a process and a half to change everything else. Even before I had it changed legally, I had to update my username and email on every website I use (that I could). Half the time it involved sending emails to companies which is a big yikes bc of anxiety and executive dysfunction 👌🏽 And some sites have ZERO ability to change you username or email (staring @ Etsy and Target). All the fun,,
Also I never even thought about highschool stuff. (I didn't even think about changing my name until a few years after semi-graduating from college.) But tbh high school was A Time™, so I don't particularly care to change my diploma especially since my hs is in the Caribbean. Shit,, I have a bank card from there, too and changing that might be a bitch since my dad is the one that's there and he's been ✨annoying✨ since coming out to him. (But maybe my mom could help with that when she goes back to visit 🤞🏽)
Soo yeah, I totally relate 😂
Thanks for the info. Even a frog can help educate you!
I really hate my birth name because it’s close to my godmother’s name
Yeah, Brianna isn't for me. Relate. I hate the name meaning. Always will.
I changed my name as an adult in Australia not for my gender identity (mostly for being a child abuse survivor reasons) I had to wait longer than most people to change it just because I was born in a different state than I live in. I'm genderfluid. I simpathise. Good luck.
I live in NC too and I just dropped off my intent form!!
Well whatever isn't legal here is legal in heaven.
I live in NY and to legally change your name you need a few documents and also need to publish your name change in a newspaper (something about to prevent you from doing tax fraud? Idk same outdated bs like you said). You can ask to waive publication and for you documents to be sealed but it has to be for a good reason (safety usually). I was so freaking lucky that the Judge approved my request to seal my documents and waive publication my god I felt like kissing her lol. Some Judges can be really nice and understanding and some can just be hard-ass jerks. Also NY obviously is a very blue liberal state so I did get very lucky.
Ayeee I’m a dual citizen of Canada and the USA too!
Honestly Canada just sucks for this stuff, I’m currently repaying my student loans because it took them six months to change my name and then I transferred universities and they could not comprehend that I was the same person, and now I cannot apply for anymore loans because my SIN has my birth name and they have to send an appeal to the office in Ottawa to try and change it since the local office couldn’t change it since my birth certificate doesn’t have a gender on it
that’s a fuckn mess oh my god, I’m so sorry. i really hope it all gets sorted out soon 💜
Are you going to the Philly trans wellness conference. If so what days?
no, I’m not, sorry!
I doubt you’ll see this comment but if you do I want to know if you finally got the Canadian passport thing fixed
i love you ! loads !
Colorado requires you post it in the newspaper lol
Can u help me
i love the name ashton 😄
i want to change my 1,2,&3 name cause my family aint shit
You should have consulted a lawyer before this process. It’s clear you should have changed your name in Canada first.
Did you ever get your Canadian passport?
NO LMAO i got my citizenship officially but still no passport
OK, question, ad no offense intended: You said you changed your birth marker as well with SS, and that you picked your first name because it could be nisex but leans to male. Did you go boy to girl, or girl to boy ? Again, not trying to be rude, but for those of us who havnt followed you before, its not really obvious.
Your planning videos is perfect for a french man. What hours is in America?
it’s 3:30 PM where I live :)
@@graveyardpansy 21:37 in France. So I guess you're in the east coast.
On the east coast (New York) it was up at 3:30, on the west coast (California) it was 12:30.
My name can pass for a nickname to my birth name so I'm not eager to change my name. Plus it's way too overpriced in the states so I'll just wait till I'm in another country lol
I live in NC too.
Ah NC? I'm a sc kid!
Well since I live in Ohio, even when my name and gender marker are legally changed, my birth certificate legally can't be changed.
why can't you change your birth certificate?
Did psssprt accept
Oh please don't like your last name? It's who you are and where your genes are from. Honor your family name. Too much disconnect from family. The future is leading to no family units. People will just have sex and hand kids off to the state and there will be no Dads to help you change your name. Those attachments is what you came from... So young and egnorent to the future... Best of luck!
one of my favorite and funniest moments about changing my name:
when i went to get bloodwork, i told them about my name change to explain why the prescription paper differed from one of the other documents i gave them. the phlebotomist then asked me “are you also changing your birthday?” but it didn’t seem like she was joking....
you Seem so Sweet
I think it's really important to talk about this because people just don't know how hard it is to change your name. I'm cis so I only know because of my trans friends but it frustrates me to no end. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that and I hope it doesn't keep happening!