Men Need To Talk About Their Sexual Abuse | Seth Shelley | TEDxUNBC

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @Tabby3456
    @Tabby3456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3273

    "Men are not machines. even if they were, they would still rust"

    • @gaudy_pov_i_club_little_bl9836
      @gaudy_pov_i_club_little_bl9836 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      that is literally the other way for women

    • @RanMaru144
      @RanMaru144 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@gaudy_pov_i_club_little_bl9836 yeah but people believe you when you say you get abused

    • @815-n8e
      @815-n8e 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@gaudy_pov_i_club_little_bl9836 ? wdym

    • @bendover2684
      @bendover2684 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Na, men are stainless

    • @血雨探花-d9e
      @血雨探花-d9e 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      @@bendover2684 i smell toxic masculinity

  • @m4ri5a8
    @m4ri5a8 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2750

    You sir, are not a mouse, but a very brave man.

  • @margaretjohnson6259
    @margaretjohnson6259 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2583

    one out of 5 girls. one out of 6 boys. should be 0 out of all children.

    • @forsaken841
      @forsaken841 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      This is why all kids should be taught bravery, and healthy lack of trust of anyone, especially people in authority. You can trust someone right up to the point where they start acting suspicious or out of norms, but always ready to throw that trust away when people start acting sketch, no matter who they are.

    • @teskilatzehrafan9592
      @teskilatzehrafan9592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      one out of 4 girls

    • @megalines8888
      @megalines8888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      preach

    • @trance212
      @trance212 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      margaret johnson Amen! 🙏

    • @gregorymalchuk272
      @gregorymalchuk272 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@paradisemurderer3783
      Wow. The numbers just keep going up. It doesn't even really seem possible, like the statistics are being inflated.

  • @jahrashaad1837
    @jahrashaad1837 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1042

    Age 5 I was molested by my 15yr old babysitter and the age of 7 I was molested by my 14yr old God brother for years I thought it was my fault ... I am 36yr old man now and I realize a lot my anger stems for these traumatic events that took place In my childhood ...

    • @AdeamosCaar
      @AdeamosCaar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      I don't know you and I can't really help you but I wish you to overcome one day all difficulties linked to this traumatics events! It wasn't your fault

    • @dilly2023
      @dilly2023 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      I’m so sorry man :,(

    • @rasabilo6164
      @rasabilo6164 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Jah Rashaad are the babysitter girl or boy?

    • @lulu_la_luna
      @lulu_la_luna 4 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      @@rasabilo6164 it doesn't matter what gender is the abuser, the important thing is that he was the victim and was abused

    • @crunchexo845
      @crunchexo845 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@rasabilo6164 why does that matter ???

  • @AdamSwiggitySwooty
    @AdamSwiggitySwooty 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3053

    The women and men who disliked this only disliked it because it proves their perception of reality being challenged makes them mad.

    • @sujitthomas5262
      @sujitthomas5262 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Adam Richard well said dear... Reality is the biggest truth of world

    • @alainborgrave6772
      @alainborgrave6772 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I disliked because I hate this victim culture that leads necessarily to a repressive culture.

    • @donnieraveling188
      @donnieraveling188 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      how do you know why they disliked it?

    • @lindahertel1365
      @lindahertel1365 5 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      @@alainborgrave6772 Are you suggesting that victims keep being silenced and our society becomes even more desensitized?

    • @commondirtbagz7130
      @commondirtbagz7130 5 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Alain borgrave theres a difference between victim culture and a culture that allows people to talk about traumas that can mentally damage someone, leading to potential physical self-harm, or behaviors that can be detrimental to others.

  • @LondonsLanding
    @LondonsLanding 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2189

    This is what courage looks like; this is what a real man is. Bravo, Seth!

    • @jots52
      @jots52 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "a real man"
      What would a fake man be?

    • @LondonsLanding
      @LondonsLanding 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bruh terminate me someone who replies to a post about a real man instead of applauding this speaker on his bravery

  • @JB-lm5xt
    @JB-lm5xt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +954

    Too painful to watch as my 3sons were abused by their father. We put him in prison...but so many reprocusions.

    • @scottbrynildsen343
      @scottbrynildsen343 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      Jen Bradley you’re an incredible mom.

    • @AmbiCahira
      @AmbiCahira 5 ปีที่แล้ว +120

      I (female) was assaulted at 18 and I am 33 now and heres the few pieces of comfort that I can give you. 1. The human body is incredibly resilient and can heal in incredible ways when the mind is ready for the healing to take place. 2. It strengthens you in ways that end up becoming a unique type of strength. Trauma overall one day becomes yet another tool in the toolbox to handle situations and connecting with people in a unique way. Your sons might end up saving the lives of other people to being something good out of their trauma to turn suffering into purpose. 3. I have a happy and healthy marriage, so future is not ruined.
      You can be there for them if they need you to be there but try to not look at them with eyes of pity or guilt. It will be a sore reminder that you look at them differently so just try to bring as much normalcy as possible and feed their confidence by building their good traits and abilities. You can compare it as rebuilding the village after a tsunami, and while rebuilding what broke takes time you end up loving what you build with your own hands in the end. I wouldn't have loved myself the way I do today if I hadn't fought for mental freedom of not letting him steal any more lifetime. Let your sons be proud of themselves and the trauma will matter less and less because they will value the now and the future more strongly than the past. 💙

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      How did you miss that, though? Were you abused? Alcoholism in the family?

    • @purplecupboards
      @purplecupboards 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      It’s not about missing it, it’s about not wanting to see it, not wanting to believe that someone could do something so horrific to the children we love.

    • @codyclark6779
      @codyclark6779 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      @@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 what a scummy thing to ask. Total victim shaming.

  • @sheldonschmidt138
    @sheldonschmidt138 3 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Thank you.
    Had a melt down from something I’ve held onto since I was 5yrs old.
    Never told anyone and always blocked it out.
    Yesterday it hit harder than it ever did and I told my mother for the first time.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Wow, thats very brave and must have been difficult and a release at the same time. Thanks for sharing

    • @Kathy_1991
      @Kathy_1991 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      THIS made me cry. Happy tears though!

    • @candyrox3537
      @candyrox3537 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you for trusting your mom and I hope she got the communication. ♥️

  • @brandonhoney182
    @brandonhoney182 5 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    My older cousin abused me from 1998-2003. It hurts in ways you can't explain. 😞

    • @DeeJayFM
      @DeeJayFM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wh-
      What happened in 2003

    • @skylovermc2146
      @skylovermc2146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Brandon Honey *hugs*

    • @gregorymalchuk272
      @gregorymalchuk272 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What exactly happened if you don't mind talking about it?

    • @BeGlamourlicious
      @BeGlamourlicious 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I really hope you find the help you need. Please feel loved. Your story is worth telling

    • @Aaaaaalakrb
      @Aaaaaalakrb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@gregorymalchuk272 "exactly" is probably too much to know.

  • @patcassin1101
    @patcassin1101 6 ปีที่แล้ว +731

    Ones innocence and natural chance to find our own identity was stolen, to be left on the outside of life with hidden pain and tears. The path I / we should have taken distorted by shame and self-blame. After 51 years with help I've learnt We cant change the past,,,, we have to learn to look at the past differently without self blame. The crime against me does not belong to me it belongs to the abuser.

    • @fabioedson3535
      @fabioedson3535 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Pat Cassin thank you brother

    • @tiffanya3919
      @tiffanya3919 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      You deserve to be free from it! You deserve to be happy and who you were meant to be! You deserve freedom and happiness! I know that it is hard but you must free yourself. Take baby steps. Start with counseling of those who have experience with this. Let the little boy inside grieve and become empowered! Do not allow the criminal to have control of your entire life. Tell him/her, NO MORE! My husband just revealed the same to me and my heart hearts so much for him. My grief has turned into righteous anger towards the perpetrator and I have become protective toward that little child inside; and I will fight for my husband to break free from the bondage! He deserves it, and YOU deserve it! Love to you. 💗

    • @sharendascott8630
      @sharendascott8630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Pat Cassin you and I and those of “us” who have experienced this level of heinous.. we’re a family. Hi brother 😊 Our painful memories are special. We grow up. We have families and children and jobs. We meet people who may never learn our experience because we don’t tell them. I’m so happy you’re here today. I’m happy that you have been persevering and healing all this time. As a woman who was molested as a child, we (women) don’t consider much the pain of you guys, and for that, I am so sorry 😔 But I’m happy you are here 😙

    • @joshuamarin5723
      @joshuamarin5723 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are a good writer, well said and thank you very much.

    • @Grimlore82
      @Grimlore82 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for those words, friend.

  • @chloemariebaker9754
    @chloemariebaker9754 5 ปีที่แล้ว +317

    "In order to create healthy communities, we need to become healthy people" 13:02 -Seth Shelly December 13th, 2017

    • @sethshelley8953
      @sethshelley8953 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Thank you I am happy that what I shared resonated with you

    • @chloemariebaker9754
      @chloemariebaker9754 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@sethshelley8953 Thank you for doing this speach! ♡

    • @gustav5852
      @gustav5852 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sethshelley8953 Where did you get help

    • @pratiktembhekar1996
      @pratiktembhekar1996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mentally healthy people **

    • @LAREYNAYR
      @LAREYNAYR 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AMEN

  • @fastandpraywithleonie
    @fastandpraywithleonie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    *As a woman, I support and applaud each and every man coming forward to heal and share their trauma. You are valid and important. I am grateful for your strength*

  • @musicalpurpose2566
    @musicalpurpose2566 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I was abused by my older brother from about 2 years old until I was nearly 12. Then, every year when we would go on vacation, my parents would make it a point to visit my brother's house for up to a week of our vacation. This went on until I stood up to my dad when I was about 15. He beat me up, but I didn't have to go on family vacations anymore. Instead they had him come home fof the holidays several years before I moved away... They knew what had been happening because my best friend/neighbor told his parents that what my brother had been doing to the both of us. My brother was 18 when the police intervened, but my parents paid $20,000 to a lawyer to make it go away. The excuse was that his name is the same as my dad's. As soon as my brother moved out, my parents moved me into my brother's bedroom where a huge portion of the abuse took place. My parents still live in the same house and the family of the neighbor kid finally moved about 4-5 years ago. I am now 41 years old and have been facing this battle with therapy for about 5 years now. I am now entering a portion of therapy that is extremely difficult, but I know that it will be the most helpful. It is called prolonged exposure therapy. I just want to finally slay this giant and actually become who I am supposed to be and not all of the things that it has made me.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thank you for being so vulnerable on here. I am happy to know that you are on the right path, its a long and arduous journey but its worth it! Thank you for being so open

    • @musicalpurpose2566
      @musicalpurpose2566 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@the_shelleys thank you for your reply. I appreciate your response and kind words.

    • @Dup4romana365
      @Dup4romana365 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for sharing. This is heart breaking that you didn't have any support from your family. So did I. I'm wondering if your brother was sexualy abused by your father. I am very suspiciosus about his explanation for paying the lawyer (The excuse was that his name is the same as my dad's). Maybe dad was afraid that your brother will say too much and they will both go to prison. I hope you are well. I wisch you best.

    • @PeacepixysAlchemy09
      @PeacepixysAlchemy09 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sending you love and strength :)

    • @thaisrodrigues9947
      @thaisrodrigues9947 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Você ainda tem contato com seus familiares?

  • @juansebastianechavez1326
    @juansebastianechavez1326 6 ปีที่แล้ว +600

    This is really empowering, considering I was a victim when I was 8 years old. It was done by a family member, and I tried my best to downplay the event. However, coming to terms with it and opening up to my family about it made a great difference

    • @zaki9804
      @zaki9804 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      What did she do to you?

    • @andream.2558
      @andream.2558 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Zaki we don’t know if it was a he or she, clearly he’s not comfortable sharing his full story yet.

    • @avantikamukherjee8001
      @avantikamukherjee8001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No plzz share.......we can help u

    • @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823
      @windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Don't rely on your family to help or support. Do it anyway. Don't be shocked if they deny all of it.

    • @ranjanbiswas3233
      @ranjanbiswas3233 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@zaki9804 Why did you assume that?

  • @beki7408
    @beki7408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +443

    I saw a lot of people in the comments saying that "it is more important than ever that men become tougher and harder". So after watching this wonderful talk, your takeaway was absolutely nothing?

    • @skylovermc2146
      @skylovermc2146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Beki wtf

    • @beki7408
      @beki7408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@skylovermc2146 ?

    • @axellea1592
      @axellea1592 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Maybe they meant to say that in going of things like that,after it is important that men become thoughter and harder mentally.

    • @beki7408
      @beki7408 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      @@axellea1592 Harder and tougher means to endure through it themselves, instead of breaking through stigmas and seeking help from others.

    • @castonadams3147
      @castonadams3147 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I haven't seen a single comment like that yet.

  • @Mr.briteside
    @Mr.briteside 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I still have a hard time grappling with my abuse at age 28. It’s led to failed relationships, feeling alone & a whole lot of mediocrity. When I told my Dad, I didn’t get the support I expected. But reading all these comments made me realize that it could be worse AND also that I’m not alone. A lot of times I do feel like I can’t get better but I think im ready to start therapy.
    Thank you all for sharing! You’re all so brave!

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are not alone, and its a lot of work but its worth it. Good job for taking those steps and finding this comment community. There are lots of people who are here to support you

  • @BWBDCan
    @BWBDCan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    I didn't for years, after court. I shut down in many ways. People asked me anything about my childhood, I was always in Disneyland. Ironically later in my teens, had a teacher saying boys/men can't be abused... I got suspended from school after telling she was f***ING wrong. After being silent for over 9 years I finally opened up. And wouldn't stay silent any more.

    • @jacob5398
      @jacob5398 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      F**k that teacher bro

    • @universesixhit642
      @universesixhit642 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "had a teacher saying boys/men can't be abused." You'd sadly be suprised how many people believe it.

    • @kellynemecek5894
      @kellynemecek5894 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m proud of you for not staying silent over those years and now.

  • @leonardodalongisland
    @leonardodalongisland 5 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    When I attempted to tell my parents, they blew me off-as my mother had done for all of my life-which lead me to the vulnerability which my abuser picked up on and took advantage of.

    • @ingredi8409
      @ingredi8409 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      That's too bad :/ I hope you can live away from this toxic enviroment, and maybe forgive your mother one day, finding truth peace within yourself.

    • @skylovermc2146
      @skylovermc2146 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tomoko Tdg that one day may not come.

    • @bervelyesteves6379
      @bervelyesteves6379 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I always tried and still to understand why adults (parents, family members) have hard time accepting they made a mistake and not defend they're kids or nieces or nephew s and grandchildren or etc. Where are the advocate for the ones who cant defend themselves

  • @stuart1001
    @stuart1001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +205

    I was abused by my father. I at a young age spoke up and told mum. I knew who I was at that age. It was from that point onwards I learned I was really all alone.. Mum asked if I excepted my father's apology. I said yes as I felt defeated.
    I aim for the same purpose in life. Unfortunately because of sharing my story it gave me no care in decisions I make most of times. I have no self control, no consistency in my life.
    I shared my story a few times over now and most people don't want to here it.

    • @SandraLopez-xm6hs
      @SandraLopez-xm6hs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Hey! Well, I hope you can see in this comment section that many men have been through some abuse when they were younger, and I hope you are not feeling so alone. I thank you for sharing. I applaud you for being open and brave. My heart truly goes out to you.
      But I'll like to say this: I'm not sure if you are angry at God for what happened to you. If you are, I would like to tell you that He can heal your wounds, give you direction in your life and ultimately peace if you believe in his name and seek Him. He is the good Father you might not have, and one I certainly didn't have growing up. The Bible says that: He is a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1)
      And also this: Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I [God] will not forget you. (Isaiah 49:15)
      I don't believe in coincidences, I know that God led me to watch this video for a reason and when I was looking at the comments yours called my attention, and I knew I had to tell you that God cares for you and that there is hope and joy in Him. And that you are definitely not alone, people may forget about us, even our own mothers but He will not. Turn to God and believe and trust in Jesus Christ.

    • @tamiajackson
      @tamiajackson 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@SandraLopez-xm6hs Amen

    • @SandraLopez-xm6hs
      @SandraLopez-xm6hs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Yoshiyahu Yisrael Hi, and no, I am a girl. Have a good night Yoshiyahu!

    • @sumerrae5145
      @sumerrae5145 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I’ll hear your story , I want to hear your story .

    • @richterry233
      @richterry233 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I will never tell

  • @farazpaw
    @farazpaw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I am proud of you, it is a deep wound and millions of men are suffering and lack empathetic support from the society for healing.

  • @NoBody-tx9pd
    @NoBody-tx9pd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +235

    Such a strong, intelligent guy. His message is an important one that needs awareness.

    • @fugosfork7907
      @fugosfork7907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Cody G that's not true. A lot of men seem to misunderstand feminism. I hope you learn more about real feminism, the feminism that gave women rights. I understand that there are extreme 'feminists' that want to be superior to men but those are a minor group, they just get more attention cuz they yell the loudest. I hope the world becomes a truly equal place one day, we still have a long way to go.

    • @TheHelper151
      @TheHelper151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@fugosfork7907 *FEMIN* ism. Female ism. Try again.

    • @fugosfork7907
      @fugosfork7907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TheHelper151 uhhh, your point is invalid since there isn't one. It doesn't even stand for female but for feminine. Try again.

  • @ScottForsyth333
    @ScottForsyth333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Mate I could listen to you for ages. So well said. I repressed my rapes and abuse for 43 yrs and just getting them back now to heal.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      thank you, and thanks for sharing

    • @nellyp5997
      @nellyp5997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m sorry for what you went through 🙏🏼 wishing you healing and peace

    • @AadamBook
      @AadamBook 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I am 29.bravo to u

  • @jessicalynn4415
    @jessicalynn4415 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I just want to hug this guy. This has happened to so many boys, they just don't talk about it. More are coming out about it.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      virtual hug accepted, thanks for caring!

  • @Ricokenyy
    @Ricokenyy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +400

    I absolutely love 💔broke my heart, one day a class mate talked about get assaulted in front of the whole class for a activist group he was in. They whole classed laughed at him. “Are you a man” “your strong enough to break her off” “how could a boy be assaulted”. I stood up and cursed out the whole class and let them know how much pain it is to go through it and they anyone can go through it. I got kicked out of class but I hugged him afterwards he deserved it this is an actual problem

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      nya thoan thank you for listening to him in his vulnerability. The stigma is real

    • @Dennis-nc3vw
      @Dennis-nc3vw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Thank you. Unfortunately men who get abused by women are the real silent epidemic. Keyword being silent.

    • @maliciousedge6182
      @maliciousedge6182 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Why tf would you get kicked out of class, thats some bs right there

    • @Ricokenyy
      @Ricokenyy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@maliciousedge6182 i think its because i cursed at them but they still had no right. The funny thing i after that the whole school became scared of me!!!

    • @ElGoorg
      @ElGoorg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      and then the rest of the school stood up from their rooms and came into yours to congratulate you, along with the president and about 15 celebrities coming down to ask for your autograph

  • @Joao.copywriter
    @Joao.copywriter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    I suffered abuse when I was a child, I don't remember exactly the age, however, I observe and understand all the emotional and mental consequences that happen today, because of that.
    Reading the comments, I felt encouraged to write a little about my story. Feel free to write yours too.
    Let's all become stronger and listen to eatch other! You're not alone!
    Thanks, if you've read this far, have a wonderful day! :)

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      you are not alone, thats right!

    • @juancarlos9592
      @juancarlos9592 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Joao
      I wish you peace and success as you go forward and become the man you want to be.

    • @riffmagos
      @riffmagos 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You're not alone. I'm 51 and a survivor. The resultant depression, anxiety, and PTSD I deal with every day.

  • @khristiantoelupe8354
    @khristiantoelupe8354 6 ปีที่แล้ว +300

    Thank you so much for speaking out about this! DAMN, CAN I RELATE, and oh how often my story is belittled simply because I am male. THANK YOU!!! Something needs to change! Men and women get hurt, both need to help!

    • @Gerno_
      @Gerno_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It's so bad how some women enjoy flip flopping from hopeless, weak victim to strang, indepandent wahmen
      When they want to be the victim they say that they are weaker than men
      When they don't want to look weak they say "women are as strong as men"

    • @Capt_Caveman205
      @Capt_Caveman205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I can definitely relate too so im very sorry. Im glad this guy was helpful to you. My situation was so very different it didn't touch on enough of the issues I personally need hear. Im so greatful he is opening up discussions on this very sensitive subject. It made me realize how seriously I need someone to talk to about this. I hope uve been able to find peace my friend.

    • @Capt_Caveman205
      @Capt_Caveman205 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @trevor tanslely trevor i subscribed to you and hit the bell. Don't know if itll work but post just anything to get my attention so ill know u saw this and ill be glad to listen at least. I went thru it too so maybe itll be easier. I understand if u don't want to. Its really hard for me too.

    • @1millionsubswomovieschalle796
      @1millionsubswomovieschalle796 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      trevor tanslely I also wish I had someone that went through similar only because the one therapist seemed just about money.

    • @1millionsubswomovieschalle796
      @1millionsubswomovieschalle796 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lizett Alvarado how so?

  • @ReadingWithShep
    @ReadingWithShep 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    I didn’t tell my family for so long years I’m 23 and I finally told my mother and she didn’t look down on me like I always thought she would. She’s helping me now and I love her so much

    • @alicemakarevich6762
      @alicemakarevich6762 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It's so precious to have a loving and sympathetic parent. I wish you every ounce of happiness!

    • @avrowolf
      @avrowolf ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're so lucky, I unfortunately wasn't (my mother is convinced that my grandmother made it all up and filled my head with memories in my case...)

  • @Witnessdomaining
    @Witnessdomaining 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Me and my older brother, both were abused by our judo coach in our early teens, and we weren't the only kids this person abused. We've had friends that are no longer with us because they couldn't stand living anymore because of what happened to them at the hands of that very same person. That f...ing breaks my heart...what's left of it anyways.
    It took me 17 years to muster up the strength to tell anybody what had happened to me, and that at a time where I'd either kill myself doing all these drugs, or to tell my story and regain some measure of self worth. I'm so glad I managed to keep it together and to not give into desperation and depression. We're still alive even though we are broken, and that means there is still hope for salvation.
    Now I have hope and I won't let it go, ever.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wow, thank you for sharing this on here, what a brave thing to do. Hope. what an amazing thing!

  • @Eowynnofrohan
    @Eowynnofrohan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I thank grandpa for showing me a man can be strong but also show emotion. He was strong, every day in winter he'd cut wood for the fire, he was always building something, he had an endless supply of tools out in the shed, he was tough and an outdoorsman and taught gun safety and was a boy scout leader. But I also remember him crying on many occasions and I never thought less of him. He wasn't ashamed to cry. Being emotional was part of who he was (he also had a temper). He would cry at movies. It's actually grandma that rarely cried. Mom and I got that emotionally from grandpa, rather than grandma's practical stoicism.

  • @jonesjack6088
    @jonesjack6088 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    It started when I was 11 and it didn't stop until I was 14 and it was another 15 years before I told anyone. Take it from someone who knows guys if you don't deal with this from a psychological perspective it will always be in the back of your mind. It wasn't your fault it was nothing you did you need the services of a mental health professional not the bottle or the drugs or the pills. Its about understanding what happened to you because only then can you move forward. Stay safe out there.

  • @yesieatedbutnosoap6927
    @yesieatedbutnosoap6927 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Men need to show emotions, crying isn’t showing your weak it’s a way to release stress .

    • @qa300
      @qa300 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Be a man! Be a man, a strong man, a tough man. A man who isnt afraid to share their feelings, a man who isnt afraid to cry at the end of "dog and boy" movies. A man who is strong enough to show himself in his weakest state, and tough enough, to not care what the world thinks.

    • @calumbrooknicolson
      @calumbrooknicolson 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How society portrays crying ultimately angers me.

  • @richardkarnes6031
    @richardkarnes6031 6 ปีที่แล้ว +399

    Thank you, Seth, thank you. With tears in my eyes, I hear your words and many of my own feelings are explained. Thank you.

  • @sasafrassmaryjane3
    @sasafrassmaryjane3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +277

    Searching for male voices on this topic for several people in my life ... THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU for gifting us with this brilliant narrative. You sir are a courageous phenomenal human🙌🙌👏

  • @drwride
    @drwride 7 ปีที่แล้ว +203

    Powerful communicator addressing a challenging subject.

  • @MastersGraduate2023
    @MastersGraduate2023 6 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    A whole different higher level of being tough to expose an abuser. Much better than the typical stereotyped macho glorified image. ..Seth had nothing to hide & didn't hold back. God bless himm

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Angel Face thanks!

    • @MastersGraduate2023
      @MastersGraduate2023 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@the_shelleys You are welcome. God bless your life. Make the most of a great one.

    • @OO-ct4hq
      @OO-ct4hq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Cody G That's what we're talking about. No one needs the respect of a person who thinks being abused is victims fault. Masculinity should've NEVER been about you hiding your feelings and putting a mask on to look like you're the strongest. You're a human first, a fragile being, it doesn't matter if you're a man, you're still a human first. I agree so many people will belittle a man who's been abused, but they are the people who believe a man is only worth something when he's strong and never been hurt. Who even believes that? No one should.

    • @manolitoaguirre90
      @manolitoaguirre90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      THAT should be an updated definition of "being tough". That stereotypical macho-style kind of male is so 19th century!

  • @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080
    @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    It took me almost being homeless to get the strength to come forward and tell my story 💪

    • @nicolegibson5905
      @nicolegibson5905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Glad you got your strength

    • @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080
      @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@nicolegibson5905 thank you... I started my recovery May 1st 2019.. I've almost found my true self and inner strength again 🤗

    • @mikemerritt9969
      @mikemerritt9969 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have been struggling with drugs and alcohol. Find it hard to work at places without feeling paranoid. I have trouble sleeping at night and have all kinds of security measures and several guns at the ready. I feel your pain man.

    • @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080
      @redwhitebluefreedomjamesdy8080 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mikemerritt9969 my friend... after a year and half of counseling.... I don't have those fears anymore... I encourage you to get the help you need too... living without those fears has opened up so many doors and opportunities for me... my prayers for you brother 🙏💪

    • @f.k9651
      @f.k9651 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is exactly what happened to me!!!

  • @thepastry8319
    @thepastry8319 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    My partner had a similar experience. He tried to tell his brother once and was shut down. His parents still don't know.
    Yes, it is so important for anyone that is abused to report the abuse and feel comfortable with reporting. It is terrible that anyone who is abused will feel like they can't speak out.
    You are a true man! Appreciate your story

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      thank you for sharing your experience briefly on here, I appreciate it!

    • @kk7420
      @kk7420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      there is no such thing as a fake man. A person who is negative and toxic to our society shouldn't be associated to his/her gender because that reinforces stereotypes.

  • @geekfreak2000
    @geekfreak2000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    It's so brave for any victim of abuse to share their stories. Thank you for sharing and making others brave enough to share as well.

  • @simflyr1957
    @simflyr1957 4 ปีที่แล้ว +286

    My father was my abuser. This started when I was like 5 and didn't end until I was 14.

    • @skylovermc2146
      @skylovermc2146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      simflyr1957 *hug*

    • @bervelyesteves6379
      @bervelyesteves6379 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Sending you a hug and praying that you find love and peace in your life

    • @ladyfaeryj5108
      @ladyfaeryj5108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I understand, my family was abusive to me but I can honestly say I feel like my big sister and my father where the only ppl who loved me growing up

    • @rdor011
      @rdor011 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      How have dealt with the connection to him? (Assuming you are male.) Male victims are viewed differently imo, we're seen as complicit and likely to turn into abusers ourselves. (Molested by my father also before the age of 5 so I know all about the self-loathing.)

    • @simflyr1957
      @simflyr1957 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I am a 63 y.o male.and now and I hated him for many years. I have been in contact with him for most of my life but it wasn't until last year that I finally forgave him. I have several mental health Diagnoses. I have been suicidal for a long time; with anger issues. I have 3 daughters and refused to put them thru what I did. My mother denied it until happened to my younger sister too.

  • @tiffany9616
    @tiffany9616 6 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    It's some messed up people in the world and a lot of them closer to you than you think. Much love to the speaker for speaking his truth!

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Tiffany Banks thank you!

  • @merrycristy
    @merrycristy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    They tried to bury us, they didn't know WE were seeds! Never ever give up, Brothers and Sisters!!

  • @maximusralte777
    @maximusralte777 6 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Thank you. Respect man. Respect

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Maximus Ralte no thanks needed :)

  • @WanderingBass
    @WanderingBass 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I was 7-8 years old when it happened to me. I didn't tell my mom until I was 16 years on. Her response made me feel so alone.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      im sorry to hear that, thank you for sharing

    • @travislatigue4957
      @travislatigue4957 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What was her reponse?

  • @alzumiico4704
    @alzumiico4704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Your grandfather would be so proud and I’m sure with your bravery and courage to stand on stage and make that speech which has touched, changed and saved some man’s life, you are making a difference and that makes you a beautiful human being and a wonderful strong man. You’re changing lives, good for you!

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for saying that

  • @MrMissplaced
    @MrMissplaced 4 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I cried through most of this talk. So incredibly important.

    • @franciscorpus5924
      @franciscorpus5924 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same 😣

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@franciscorpus5924 wow, thanks for the emotional response. I appreciate the honesty

  • @alexandrarose2751
    @alexandrarose2751 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I hate how people say "Men Can't Cry, can't show emotions. They have to be strong." Or "shut up, Women have it worse than you" or how it's 'always' men who are rapists, drug dealers, abusers. Men and Women are different and the same. They're both Human. So please kindly shut up if you think Men have it easier than Women. We need Equality

  • @hbj843
    @hbj843 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    it takes a true man to talk about being abused. god bless you, seth.

  • @brianscates5225
    @brianscates5225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Seth Shelley is a man to admire for his honesty, forthrightness, intelligence, and many other attributes; and of course for being a human being.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      wow thanks for the glowing review! Of course, I am just like everyone else in real life.

  • @jcook899
    @jcook899 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Me too brother thanks for your courage. And so many of my friends have told me they were as well we are not alone we need to talk about this

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thank you for the courage to say "me too"

  • @gaggita9922
    @gaggita9922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    yes we really do.
    I was molested by my aunt a few times when i was a kid.
    I just buried it so deep i almost feel i did forget.
    as a teen i was drinking everyday, smoking weed, starting fist fights and arguments for anything.
    it got really horrible when i hurt someone for simply wanting to show me a better way and grow together.
    i hated her for loving me so i drank more because i was stuck mentally.
    i couldnt grow as a person because something was really wrong with me but i pretty much could never accept when my aunt i loved, respected, and TRUSTED hurt me the way she did multiple times!
    i regret hurting my ex so much with my anger and selfish ways.
    i cant ever have her back but i have been trying to heal since i accepted what happened to me.
    and i know ill never hurt anyone again in any way.
    i want to heal, help others heal, bond, and grow positively from my past trauma.
    and huge yes for that question we as men should be asking each other.
    "whats your story?"

    • @TheFaySchoolKids
      @TheFaySchoolKids 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      its horrible when you have no one to tell because you are embarrassed or afraid or whatever. My mom abused me. I've never been able to trust people and get angry when anyone doe the slightest abusive thing.

    • @warrenbradford2597
      @warrenbradford2597 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheFaySchoolKids I can relate. Not only does my own mother commit other forms of domestic violence, but my own sister does keep molesting me while practicing domestic violence herself. She does that to me, because she knew offends me.

    • @minnielit4032
      @minnielit4032 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@warrenbradford2597 are u fine man pls lodgr a complaint

    • @Anj_bruh
      @Anj_bruh 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel this, I'm 14 and it's been happening to me for months this year by a woman, and I've been trying to ignore it by watching TikTok all the time and I don't have any motivation but to lay in my bed. The worst part is I actually thought she was a good person. Then I found out she was grooming me, but I found out too late.
      I can't even tell my gf abt it because I know no one likes a guy who's emotional. Absolutely no one I know knows about it. I don't know what to do.

  • @flame_emerald
    @flame_emerald 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    Most my friends are guys, and over time seeing them grow and and hearing what they hear about masculinity and what it means to "be a man" makes me more passionate about wanting to change the societal perception of men's emotions and ability to be victims just as much as women can be

    • @skylovermc2146
      @skylovermc2146 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Flame Emerald I’ve always wanted to change that. I can’t stand people and their perception of masculinity. My heart breaks thinking about all the guys that go through it. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

    • @TheHelper151
      @TheHelper151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The only reasons you "care" about these problems is because you claim to "care" about the men in your life... I guarantee that if (replace if with you already and remove the you in front of didn't) you didn't "care" about the men in your life, you wouldn't be saying this.

    • @flame_emerald
      @flame_emerald 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TheHelper151 What? I care about my friends well being's and they should be allowed to be as open about their emotions and experiences when it's generally considered taboo... um... what are you talking about?

    • @flame_emerald
      @flame_emerald 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Cody G If you don't believe me, then that's your choice? You don't know me personally so there's no reason for you to take my word on something you haven't seen personally... It's just what I believe and in my life I've tried to give my friends spaces to talk about nonconventional topics (whether about taboo emotions, trauma, etc) if they want to talk about it.
      I'm sorry that happened to you though, people shouldn't lie about things like that and I hope you find other people in your life you can be more open and true to yourself with

    • @TheHelper151
      @TheHelper151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@flame_emerald I'm saying because of your nature as a female, you cannot care... Not to the level that is needed...

  • @margaretmiller8672
    @margaretmiller8672 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    He should read audio books. He has a beautiful voice. What a strong man.

  • @goldenblooms6672
    @goldenblooms6672 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Wow!!! Within the first minute I could tell this guy is an awesome speaker. He’s so clear and articulates so well.

  • @EddieRios203
    @EddieRios203 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Finally someone understands 🥺

  • @thaddeuspauluyson3560
    @thaddeuspauluyson3560 6 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    I salute you sir! Thank you for sharing your story. You've given a lot of people who had experienced the same situation a voice. And a light to pull through.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thaddeus Paul Uyson I’m just one voice in the many, all our voices matter :)

    • @thaddeuspauluyson3560
      @thaddeuspauluyson3560 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you sir!

  • @imrowanda
    @imrowanda 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “No healing without sharing”
    You are one of the bravest man I’ve ever listened to. 👍

  • @reyreyy2583
    @reyreyy2583 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow, just cried like a baby. My partner just disclosed his story to me , and hearing this makes me hurt. This hit home. Thank you for sharing 💕

  • @cortp898
    @cortp898 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I wish I could meet this brave gentleman. Your strength gives me strength. I wish I had half the courage as you- in front of the whole world no less. You sir are for sure a man and not a mouse.

  • @raeperonneau4941
    @raeperonneau4941 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Lord, please give this man peace and blessings! Reward him in every way for his willingness to be vulnerable. The truth about masculinity...
    is that it is totally honest! Amen.

  • @ThePedoHuntress-6io
    @ThePedoHuntress-6io ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bravo! The picture of strength, overcoming, and being real. This is what courage looks like. He did nothing wrong...the message needs to change to "it's safe to share what happened to you!" Thank you, Seth!

  • @amandakhan952
    @amandakhan952 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Amazing... thank you so much for this incredible contribution. You are beyond brave for doing this, which is testimony to your true manhood.

  • @GemSugar17
    @GemSugar17 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It makes me feel happy to see men that are able to share and be vulnerable. This is so helpful to other men to see and maybe it can help them to speak out and heal.

  • @SravanKumar-mq8zn
    @SravanKumar-mq8zn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Me too, my father sister son molested me at 7 years old and again when I was in 15 years, second time I teach him lesson. But this insident effected me mentally, I'm depressed and not talking any one,now I am 30 still I have fear to talk peoples especially men's if I'm alone and some one coming to me my heart beat increasing and getting too much fear it's effecting my personal life and professional life i tried but not helping me and most of the people's in my childhood behaving like deferent because in my childhood my body look like a girl every one commenting and some people's misbehave with me.
    Only the reason for my presence because of my parents, I'm living for them only .

    • @atu1786-i5f
      @atu1786-i5f 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      you are important, dont forget

    • @theloveshow8079
      @theloveshow8079 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are not alone and we are here for you ❤️

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      wow , so brave to share on here. Contact me on my website if you ever need to talk. You are not alone

  • @artorillanida2650
    @artorillanida2650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I thought that too. Boys should be tough and being a victim is taboo. For several times I had to escape that reality and I have to move forward. But this trauma still hunts me. Healing to everyone who experienced it.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I am sorry that you experienced that, if you ever need to have support in finding resources to help let me know, I will do what I can

  • @JamesGlicaHernandez
    @JamesGlicaHernandez 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Thank you, Seth, for making the choice to offer your story to help,others find healing. Blessings to you.

  • @raqueldianga202
    @raqueldianga202 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for standing to empower others to tell their own story. Salute you man!

  • @cn2746
    @cn2746 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Thank you for sharing your story. It hurt my heart that you were so abused. I hope your healing is far along. Carol. Phoenix Arizona USA

    • @sethshelley8953
      @sethshelley8953 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you and my healing is a journey but I am every day walking towards healing

  • @samanthaleon1886
    @samanthaleon1886 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    When we replace one unique individual experience with someone else's narrative we loose a part of our community. Just amazing, thank you.

  • @cikufeedspoty3565
    @cikufeedspoty3565 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This man is the bravest, strongest and most courageous person i have heard on the internet. Thank u so much for helping me

  • @hiromibee
    @hiromibee 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    You are so brave! What a courage! You are real men to me. Thank you for sheer your story.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      hiromibee thank you!

  • @craigholding1587
    @craigholding1587 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was abused from 9 to 13 by a close family member. Still to this day I can't bring myself to speak up. At 29 year old the monster is still be protected by me because it will tear my family apart.

    • @cleeenexx
      @cleeenexx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @lonely wolf that's od insensitive

  • @aishwaryashankar4831
    @aishwaryashankar4831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    This needs tons of views

    • @mariellasirangelo6216
      @mariellasirangelo6216 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cody G Feminism is about parity, the one you are talking about is misandry. Please, inform yourself before saying this things

    • @aluisfar4154
      @aluisfar4154 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mariellasirangelo6216 he's not wrong, society is having mentality of thinking Men are always the bad ones

  • @drew.d.4347
    @drew.d.4347 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Power on, Seth your a winner.

  • @shawnferrie6990
    @shawnferrie6990 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    There is nothing so empowering, so spirit and self worth building... than when we find our voice. The journey of reclaiming our potential and our autonomy is myth shattering.

  • @Grimlore82
    @Grimlore82 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thank you for speaking on behalf, of us.

  • @jakeking1844
    @jakeking1844 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Seth you deserve to be commended. We need more men to come out and share their stories live and hopefully find that it helps them to move on to a more positive experience for the rest of their lives. A+++ to you Seth

  • @centrifugalmuse
    @centrifugalmuse 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I was captivated this whole talk. What a strong, aware, REAL man.

  • @juancarlos9592
    @juancarlos9592 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Seth.........
    you are a real man.
    Someone to look up to.
    You are a man's man
    Thank you Seth for your bravery and honesty.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well, I assure you I am just the same as every other. Thanks for the encouragement.

    • @juancarlos9592
      @juancarlos9592 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@the_shelleys
      Proud of you man.
      Wishing you a blessed new year

  • @AlineMayne1
    @AlineMayne1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You're so brave and have so much strength to talk about your story. Thank you! 🙏🏻

  • @fanguy247b9
    @fanguy247b9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    From age 11 to almost 16 I was abused by one of my uncles. He kicked my dog who had just had a major hip surgery and I lost it. Took four grown men to pull me off of him because in my mind he’d already been hurting me and all be danged if he was gonna hurt my loyal dog in her elder years too. The years of rage and pain he put me through were released in that moment. When my parents found out what he’d been doing to me they understood it wasn’t just about him kicking my dog.

  • @ellenhill142
    @ellenhill142 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Seth, I applaud your strength for changing the narrative that kept the doors closed for you for so long! Your willingness to share your story provides a new foundation for family, friends, and community to forge a new understanding. It's so affirming that you confronted the overt and covert demons and came through the fire to proudly learn who you are and how worthy you are of love. Many blessings as you move forward through life; may you experience abundant love and joy!

  • @deborahstarman9874
    @deborahstarman9874 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As a survivor of many years of childhood abuse thanks for sharing. There's a huge stigma on men sharing their story.

  • @MariaCarabin
    @MariaCarabin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    You’re an amazing man Seth! It is so important to speak out!

  • @patrickoreilly130
    @patrickoreilly130 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    If you're a mouse, you're the manliest damn mouse I've ever seen. God bless, Seth

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      lets pitch it to Disney "Manley Mouse: Mickeys Ukrainian cousin"

  • @pepernst
    @pepernst 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Thanks for sharing your story Seth. I have found that sharing is a wonderful antidote to shame, and an opportunity to challenge those narratives we have been sold or told throughout life. Your told is a powerful exercise in courage.

    • @elizabethevenson6110
      @elizabethevenson6110 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      societal narratives usually leave a TON of folks out (or at least don't accurately represent a lot of folks' reality.) so yeah, i'm all for challenging them and sharing what actually went down if somebody's emotionally ready to do that, because yes, sharing (to the right people at least) does tend to reduce the shame factor.

  • @cameronjohnston3186
    @cameronjohnston3186 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Uttermost respect for this strong man.

  • @JB-lc7fu
    @JB-lc7fu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    We need to realize that you should be able to have whatever masculine or feminine qualities you want. There is nothing wrong with being a stroke of one or the other.

    • @rkeller8141
      @rkeller8141 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Accept yourself without being critical of who you are.

    • @Melly16yr10
      @Melly16yr10 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Completely agree with you there 😊

  • @TheRRbrothers
    @TheRRbrothers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Innocence is something we have to keep until a certain age they take it from you without not knowing the damage they do there is a future for us !! Thank you I was scared no one talked about this on TH-cam

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you! I am grateful that the more we share the more others share :)

  • @tinabaker8151
    @tinabaker8151 5 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Men Too!!!!!

    • @mrbig94526
      @mrbig94526 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Yes Men can be victims and women and even Mothers and Grandmothers can be perpetrators. I know from first hand experience. Men too !!!! Both my parents were perpetrators and that left no safe space anywhere.

    • @tinabaker8151
      @tinabaker8151 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Keith Bigelow Men Too!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story this is very important and needs to be talked about 🌹

    • @zaki9804
      @zaki9804 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep

    • @tommyornothing7301
      @tommyornothing7301 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too!

    • @tommyornothing7301
      @tommyornothing7301 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Raghav Varma I’m responding to the “Me Too” movement. It’s about speaking up regardless of gender.

  • @AbstruseDaPoet
    @AbstruseDaPoet 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This was real pure male courage. It takes a strong person to admit this. Boys/Men often times get overlooked and it's sad. We grow up to drink and drug ourselves to numb the pain.

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      self medication is dangerous

    • @LivingItUp810
      @LivingItUp810 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, my siblings and I endured every kind of abuse. I lost my brother to alcoholism

  • @pdesh6368
    @pdesh6368 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you for this. By sharing this you heal every person that, for some reason, cannot speak up. By sharing this you listen to souls who don't have a voice. By sharing this you open up roads to a new life for many. God bless.

  • @hotrodbyers9916
    @hotrodbyers9916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    At 50 I finally told about my abusor and got help it's been a year now I don't feel different it still feels like I'm hiding from him and everyone

  • @missmsmrs.7309
    @missmsmrs.7309 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    So glad I saw/heard this. I totally agree with this young man. Everyone should tell their story.

  • @stephaniecara3190
    @stephaniecara3190 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You said that you discovered who you were by telling your story, but that event happening should not define who you are or your worth. I do appreciated how brave you are to demonstrate that being vulnerable is part of being human and masculine.

  • @allenmaccarthy7108
    @allenmaccarthy7108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I salute this guy, it take balls to stand up and say I've been abused .

  • @mariachaudhry4608
    @mariachaudhry4608 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are a Brave and Articulate and sensitive and Sensible Man sir.. Respect

  • @bonniesmith557
    @bonniesmith557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Thank you for sharing. My husband died of suicide on 9/9/19

    • @the_shelleys
      @the_shelleys 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Bonnie Smith I’m so sorry to hear

    • @Facebook-StevenSchmidlap
      @Facebook-StevenSchmidlap 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      A lot of good you did for him.

    • @elizabethevenson6110
      @elizabethevenson6110 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      my deepest condolences (i've been close to that point and managed to not go there but i can at least sort of understand why somebody else might). virtual hugs and/or kitty cuddles if you want them.

    • @irisanevermore2276
      @irisanevermore2276 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @I_Slayyy_demons-through_GOD 444 you okay there buddy ?

    • @svoura_
      @svoura_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @I_Slayyy_demons-through_GOD 444 Speak to someone please. Please

  • @focusfocus5143
    @focusfocus5143 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thank you for talking about this and helping others.

  • @BadEconomyOfficial
    @BadEconomyOfficial 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I don’t like the way society tells us that victimhood is a problem, trauma is a serious thing when someone does something illegal to you, it’s EXTREMELY stressful.

  • @fireeyes1169
    @fireeyes1169 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You are very brave. Thank you for sharing your story.
    We can learn so much from your experience.