Addicted to Chaos: Understanding Why Drama Feels More Comfortable - Complex Trauma Prisons Series
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
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People raised in chaotic environments often have a complicated relationship with chaos in their adult lives. Even though they might hate the unpredictability and stress it brings, chaos can feel strangely familiar and comfortable, reminding them of their past. This tension can lead them to subconsciously seek out chaotic situations or dramatic relationships, thinking that’s the only way to experience emotions intensely. Plus, drama can give a rush of adrenaline that distracts from their inner struggles, making it seem appealing. This creates a cycle where they flip between wanting peace and being drawn back into chaos, which can hold them back from finding stability. Understanding this dynamic is key for anyone trying to break free from these patterns and work toward healing.
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Addiction to drama, chaos , conflict , gossip, backbiting, political nonsense etc are all symptoms of Cptsd. Took so much time to understand this.
This is so me. The joke is: I don't want drama and all that stuff but I attract them quite often. As though subconsciously I crave it, yet it gives me anxiety 😢
@@msdimi01 true 👍 but with time it will go away. You need to heal yourself continuously.
As an older adult now, when asked about my family home, I always say it was chaotic, but it was chaos I could count on.
Same here (besides it being abusive & neglectful)
chaos can become the comfort zone. thank the lord its 2024 and we know healing is available (for those that want it) 😑
I’ve learned that my parents and ancestors did what was done to them. When people know better, they do better! My healing came from extreme therapy and saying goodbye to my past. I live a very, very simple life. Yes, I feel like I’m dying of boredom 😂but life will pick up.
Sacred in the mundane. 🎉
Simple life could, probably look bored as of right now but give it time, there are adjustments to happen, then you’ll be good.
“Chaos is a comfort zone” was the biggest insight about myself
I worked in Icu and critical care too as a doctor,was allergic to peaceful environments
I would add career choices such as entrepreneurship or lifestyle choices like being a digital nomad are ways I’ve kept myself in high stress chaotic situations.
...and it led me to work in a trauma unit and critical care at the hospital. When I became a patient, it ended my addiction to the Chaos and abuse of my child and adulthood. Relatable and resonates.I have severe allergies to chaos now.
YOU ARE BRILLIANT! I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY THERAPIST FRFR!!!! YOU GOT ME THROUGH THE PAST TWO YEARS AND I LOVE YOU ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Ikr I've been in therapy since I was 15, and trying to work with therapists who just wanted to exert their egos who weren't the least bit invested literally drove me to the brink of sanity.
I've got more out of Mr Fletchers talks than I ever have with any kind of therapy, CBT or self-help book, and I'm not destroying myself in the process.
He's done wonders to rebuild me, and I've made more progress in a year than I have in a lifetime.
I recommend him to everybody in need of help. I'm glad other people out there find him just as vital as I do.
Thanks Tim and good luck y'all ❤️🩹
I worked in neonatal intensive care units my entire career 33 years taking on more and more responsibility as I grew older. The last position was a toxic environment. Rotating shifts sometimes 24 hours long. My body finally began to break down.
Relationships have not been reliable or supportive. Exhausting.
It seems that without drama and chaos those people feel understimulated and depressed.
I can assure you that we are depressed even with drama and chaos. I applaud if someone isn't.
I realized a long time ago that chaos was motivating for me and I felt dead inside without it. I was addicted to adrenaline starting in childhood through most of my adult life. It was what motivated me to action and productivity didn’t seem possible without it. My body is now paying the price with 4 autoimmune diseases. It just broke down.
My whole life was chaos & drama from childhood to mid 40's. I flicked the switch after a breakdown 4 years ago. Since I've stepped back from the drama & chaos, I can see it in others. I don't engage in relationships now with very hyper, manic people, I stopped drinking alcohol which helped with avoiding the drama & gossip.
I have a very peaceful life. Sometime I will be triggered into chaos but I can regulate quicker.
Life is definitely very complex with all the traumas everyone get to be exposed to living in an inperfect world keeps making life very challenging because seems like everyone has to constantly heal from something and unfortunately majority of the time people dont self reflect because only self reflective individuals are the ones who put in the work to become healthy and grow but growth and change in itself is not easy and hence some just continue living with the destructive behaviors
True less no of people try to heal and do the required work. Majority of people just live in destructive lives and unhealed wounds.
I'm beginning to see the impact of myself on others and how I've needed chaotic individuals to sustain my addiction. It no longer serves me, I'm exhausted. I don't need to rescue myself anymore by rescuing others. It's so freeing. I can trust myself to watch for the triggers and choose whether I dive in or sit back and watch. If I dive in I'll forgive myself and move on.
@26:00 approximately I understood something deep.
I've been using drama as a tool, believing it amplifies emotions and raises them to the surface so that I may address them. Now I realize it was my only path to begin recovery, because in every other way, I would numb pain.
"I'm not addicted to chaos, I use it as a tool for my own healing."
What a sticky web. Thank you for bringing this to my awareness.
I have POTS and I catch myself pursuing stressful and chaotic thoughts to raise my cortisol and manage my chaetcolomine levels, since My ANS is damaged I need this to regulate my blood pressure and heart rate, but the thing about that is It leads to more inflammation and more disease and more distress to my autonomic system.
I'm finding a lot of peace and a lot of rest in paying more attention to my physical needs and being more disciplined
They say that motivation for change is difficult to have until the pain gets intolerable, until then we tolerate it
I can empathize. I think I generally have high cortisol, but I developed POTS after living in black mold for under a year. It almost killed me.
Wish you well with your journey, hopefully we can all learn from the painful times
There's internal chaos too. And a home can be "too quiet". Somehow I can't stick to routines and am often late... Dropped out of uni. Mum was ill with overactive thyroid, cptsd, back injury, she had a busy brain & hard time as a single Mum & stressed teacher, & a string of weird boyfriends. Nobody else came to our house really. Very little connection or support. She did her best for me but was often dysregulated herself. She died from a brain tumour aged 73 when I was 44. I was diagnosed autistic & ADHD aged 48.. still have trouble being on time without rushing or being stressed.. and clutter / "hoarding" & unpredictable sleep.. & difficulty managing admin & regular eating etc.. Mum was a good house-keeper, somehow she kept things going, tho it was me who did the vacuuming & cleared out the fridge & cleaned windows etc.
My Dad & stepmother very orderly & house immaculate & I was on eggshells there. It's taken me years & still figuring out how the cptsd happened as there was quite a lot of little & big T traumas, "abandonment" situations & insecure attachment etc but all in quiet ways, middle class academic parents living 'good' tidy, sober lives.. yes adrenalin & cortisol & sugar/carb-addiction & sympathetic dominance & chronic health mess .. chronic fatigue, & still difficulty sitting still! Thank you for this video, so much of cptsd effects is subtle
You need a lot of healing. Please work on healing and seek help if that's what you need.
"Be still, and KNOW that I am God... within your own h-eart AND very DNA"
Yes, the very flame and signature, of your own Creator, the Self-existing One, is always inside of you❤
I've found I needed a mentor who was non judgemental but had clear boundaries to support me weekly for months. Otherwise, it's so easy to regress back to our own circling thoughts and behaviours. Wish you well.
You get addicted to the adrenaline and other bio chemistry
Calm scares me so I move house every couple of years. The childhood situation makes a lot of sense.
I feel both triggered yet seen and validated when you described parents with the very attributes described here. I feel less alone.
Thank u; I appreciate it a lot. Wrapped it up perfectly.
I was in this. It got so bad that I couldn't handle it anymore. I fell to my knees and I called out to Jesus. As a non-believer the words just flowed out of my mouth confessing that I couldn't do life without Jesus. Well, if I hadn't done that I wouldn't be alive today.
I did this too, and absolutely nothing changed.
@@Doesitmatter-by3xb I had to repent. I had to ask for forgiveness. We are all sinners, we all need salvation.
1 John 1:9
"But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness"
For a lot of people chaos and drama means connection that’s safe, only it’s only connecting via an attachment wound and will never feel like real connection as a result. Avoidants do this. It’s really sad because it’s not love. It’s fear and control and terror of real love connection.
Thank you so much for all you share ~
Unstable, chaotic....It was what felt comfortable. No normal On my own now ..aware .. peace but still feel drawn.... work in progress....2 yrs after 12 yr and before... boredom definitely and fear 😢😢
so very good..thank you Tim, all the best, Simon
Brilliant insight and analysis, Tim
Dziękujemy.
No wonder so many people are hot messes 🔥
Damn I’m 15 minutes into this and I am so damn stressed out. I hope there is some positive help soon because it’s so negative that I don’t think I can keep listening to this.
That was such a helpful message. Thank you❤
So is it bad to travel constantly then? What if you enjoy relaxing but have endless curiosity as well?
Depends how it affects you
Calm makes me anxious. It feels like the calm before the storm, like something ominous is pending.
I grew up with the environment where nobody took responsibility or precaution, so in turn it set them up for yet another chaotic meltdown that they could indulge in.
If the chaos didnt occur organically as a result of their non-action, then a chaotic curveball would be manufactured.
Ive got pretty crippling issues with OCD and seeking to control my environment as a result of that i think.
Not just from that, i mean my parents were also very controlling generally.
But being unprepared is a nightmare.
Going with the flow in a relaxed and reasonable way is an impossibility.
I realised i had problems with stillness because Meditation is absolutely anxiety provoking. I cant just be calm and relaxed. Something bads about to happen.
I need to get up and do something about it. I feel so agitated, like theres an urgency to take action.
Maybe if i busy myself cleaning things i can be more prepared.
Busy busy busy busy busy is the only way to feel comfortably calm.
Reading a Piping Rock vitamin ad. They sell cortisol type vitamins. ??? They were sold out of the cortisol stuff last time l was checking for vit C.
My addiction to chaos was induced by GS.
Oh my, help us Jesus.
Did you bring me your chais from stuff you did not even know !!
Why so often use that phrase / analogy of "the other shoe is going to drop" ? I get the gist of it, but don't really understand, or where it comes from, & it seems to be in every episode! Can anyone explain please, it's been bugging me more & more & id like to get passed that! Thank you 🙏👍🤗
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Its seems to me,that watching others having pain and problems gives you are feeling to be superior!
I dislike that,even if analysis is good.
Please stay away from my account!