Story one, there is an explanation for the behaviour (although it doesn't make anything better). If ops mother was abused constantly in that way by her father as a child and teen she could be returning to that behaviour as a source of comfort due to all those years of abuse leaving her extremely messed up in the head. Kind of like how people repeatedly get back together with physically abusive partners only a whole new level of messed up. Its unfortunately a not uncommon thing for situations like that
@@rosexknight That's pretty much the only explanation my brain accepted too. It's not like the teenager who isn't abused would have some sort of omniscient memory of their mother's abuse when they were a child or didn't even exist. Even inappropriate comments can fly right past kids and are then often forgotten as boring grown up speak.
Story 2: Yeah, this is called "Returning the energy." She vanished from his life for 15 years, and apparently only came back for money, so what did she expect?
Absent parents who want back into their kids' lives have frozen their kids in the stage of life they last saw them. In this case, she saw her son as a little toddler who hung on her every word, and now expected him to still be that toddler despite the 15 years that has passed since then
Story one could be four different scenarios: 1. Mom is being abused. 2. Grandpa is being abused. 3. It’s consensual. 4. It was nothing untoward. Anything but number 4 is just disgusting. OP should either straight up ask their mom, or tell their dad.
Or the dad is somewhere else while the mom is in there with her affair partner. It's disturbing when that's the least bad explanation (other than number 4).
At first I thought, like any normal person, that she was having an affair with her father in law, which is already disgusting. Then it got soooo much worse
In the first story, if something is happening with OP's grandpa and mom it is likely not the first time it happened and I really doubt it was consensual. People generally need to be groomed into this stuff.
Yeah. . .If it was a mourning thing and they were crying, why would the mom hide that at the food court talk? Why not just openly say she and Op's Grandpa were mourning. But at 2 Am? I think OP hit the nail on the head. Just. . .as much as another conclusion would sound nice nothing really fits except the glaring theory and assumption
@@KadeStringer2.0 Please don't forget the rhythmic pounding. Yes, no one wants to believe the obvious explanation, but there is no other which explains everything.
@@KadeStringer2.0I can sort of understand that, but was it really so hard to quietly say they were mourning the loss of the Grandmother? That they were crying? Why try to lie about being in the bathroom instead of just shrugging and saying it was private? Just too many things don't fit for it to be just that
Story 2: deadbeats always think they can just come right back in after being terrible parents for years. She doesn't get to be mad that her son is doing the exact same thing she did.
It sounds like they have a good relationship otherwise, though, that the household isn’t toxic. It’s possible to come back from cheating, but I don’t think it can be done by ignoring it. The trust is broken, and he needs to know that, otherwise she’s the one lying, and it will become toxic.
The mom cheated on the dad before and they worked it out and are fine? Oh brother/sister let me be the first to tell you that your dad is NOT fine. He's only in it until at least you are 18. Most likely once the brother is 18.
Story 3: So the coworker's husband cheated on her, and she…proceeds to be the mistress of OP's husband? What the heck? This is weird. OP being cheated on is bad and an automatic ticket to Divorce, but the fact that the mistress is someone who was cheated on is weird.
What the "What the heck?”? "Hurt people hurt people" is a saying for a reason. Many narcissists believe that if something negative happened to them, everyone deserves the same pain. ( But not vive versa as they're always also hypocritical) And that everyone with less pain, needs their "privilege" removed. Basically, people can be victims and assholes at the same time! The fact that people seem to be forgetting this all the time is why assholes love to pretend to be victims.
You'd actually be very surprised how common it is for someone who was cheated on to become a mistress. A lot of times is to prove they still have it. They could steal a man from his wife
Story 2: Can you say Cat's in the Cradle? You learn from your parents. "Mom" (and I use that term loosely) got back the treatment she served. Enjoy eating crow!
Story 1: I really hope all those comments are right and they were just crying together because I really don't want to believe they would do that with him in the house, or at all. More importantly I really hope OP will not feel the need to confirm this buy snooping and seeing something that will leave him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.
Any of the rationalizations that people are providing for story 1, there's no reason that the mom wouldn't just come out and say it. But her out right playing dumb...it's clear what's going on. Not only that, but that means her mom has most likely been groomed and doing this for her entire life. OP is young and it's weird seeing your parent as a victim, but I think telling the dad is the no brainer here.
So, my grandmother used to grunt and yell and talk in her sleep and I used to go in and help when it got bad because she sometimes would run herself out of bed and fall. I took after her but mostly I moan in my sleep (which is not fun and has led to uncomfortable talks) so idk, I have a different perspective and she may have been trying to help her Dad and knew what OP would be thinking.
Ok but she could've easily explained it just like you did. My mom does the same thing and my dad was mostly deaf so I'd always end up being the one to go in and make sure she was ok. Better believe me I would be quick to explain if I realized that's what someone thought!
I'm wondering if the grandpa's health is getting worse and she doesn't want the son to know how bad it is. Could be why she didn't want to discuss it in a mall food court; could be an emotional conversation
And the rhythmic pounding? Would your grandma pound the headboard on beat during these groaning sessions? Everyone trying to explain this as anything but sex keep leaving out the sound of thrusting.
@@squirrel670 unless she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or was just thrown off and kind of mortified. People aren’t exactly logical, she probably like o dear God let this be over.
People don't have "affairs" with their parents. If she does, it's likely she was groomed as a child and the grooming sparked up again after the loss. You'd be surprised how many survivors stay stuck even in adulthood. Not the majority, but not zero either. Middle age is rare, but maybe with pauses?
@@ACAB.forcutie .. the way anybody else learns anything I live in the midwest I've actually witnessed stuff like this it's been the Talk of the Town before but other than that I mean when it has a hole subreddits devoted to talking about these news stories there are published news stories with how many they get you know just out there people talking about them how many seats are there no one's talking about
@@ACAB.forcutie a bigger majority of people are attracted to adults and they would be minors that's just like facts so using logic is somebody only find big tits and a round ass attractive then they're only going to go for the big tits and round ass
There is one other explanation that I haven't seen in the comments yet for story one. Still gross but not as gross. Grandpa is getting senile. So senile that he isn't exactly aware of his surroundings when he's sun downing. Mom has taken to sleeping on the floor at night with him because he needs extra care at night (non sexual care lol) and she's embarrassed about it because he's her dad whose mind is failing. Now, as for the noise. Many old people (especially those with dementia) will moan and thrash at night either because they're in pain or because they're unaware of their surroundings. Aaaand if grampa is unaware that op's Mom is there and he gets late night urges... well... He might just be "taking care of himself" if you know what i mean. The Mom might be super embarrassed about this and realized he was stroking the snake while she slept in the same room after op told her, hence her lies about her being elsewhere. Honestly? Since op heard no noises from his mom and only his grandpa it just being senile grampa doing the deed makes way more sense to me than they've suddenly started an incestuous relationship.
But how hard do yoy have to be wanking it to make pounding sounds? Unless he's humping a pillow I guess. It's never mentioned that he has dementia though and is only in his 70s...
She would've stepped out to let him finish if that was the case. Grandpa lives alone so he's not senile, otherwise they'd get him more help or even moved to a supervised facility. This definitely sounds like a incest and long-term grooming and abuse. Grandma is gone so no more holding back from him. This is so much more common than we think which is honestly so sad and disgusting and infuriating. Mom needs extensive therapy.
If she's asleep on the floor and heard from her son that Grandpa was wanking it? Of course she'd be embarrassed and lie. I think people are so desperate to assume the worst on the Internet. You think a long term incestous relationship that's been hidden from everyone and somehow only the Grandpa was heard making noises because Mom's silent during sex is more likely than an old man masturbating while Mom's asleep? Good God you people are crazy.
Story 3: I've been a child in this situation. Even I figured out my father was cheating after a while, but when I asked my mother about it she said she already knew and chose to not leave so me and my sister could have better lives. It was tough, but I thank her every day for providing the best life she could for me. Props to this mom. Make sure to regiter everything you can. You never know when your husband may try to divorce you to go live with his cheating partner, and you'll want to tell your kids about it! ... and in case there were any doubts, he wanted me to belive it only took 2 weeks to mourn the passing of my mother with whom he was married for 40 years to start dating again... Right...
Story 1: All OP had to do is say they got up to go to the bathroom... and i heard some weird noises so i went to your room and you werent there... could have got rid of that excuse easily.
Story One: I think OP's WAY better off telling their Dad about what they heard. The Dad can do his own investigation, even if he has to get a PI to do that. But the fact that the Mom's reaction to OP's question IS strange...I think she's hiding something. But RSlash is right, we won't know because of the lack of proof. So I agree with OP that telling their Dad is a better option, mostly because the Mom was definitely hiding something. Story Two: The "Egg Donor" abandoned the Friend for 15 years after straight up hurting him and neglecting him, but NOW she suddenly wants to come back in his life and "Get to know him" after all that time. And NOW she gets butt hurt because "Your son's HURTING me by NOT meeting up with me! PUNISH HIM!"? Uh, NO. OP's son is giving the Egg Donor Mom the SAME treatment that she gave her son: Disrespect and abandonment! GO cry to someone who cares about your selfish lifestyle, you b*tch! Good on OP for divorcing this Karen and good on the Son for giving that Mom a taste of her own medicine!
For that last story, here's my takeaway: OP's not just living in an unsatisfying marriage, she's completely mentally detached herself from that marriage. She manages to ignore it and live a good life in spite of it while keeping her awful husband trapped in that poor marriage
before finishing the first story: having lost my own mother this year, i saw 1 thing that shocked me, but also brought me a strange sense of comfort, my grandpa crying. hes always been the rough and tumble kind of guy. of course losing his daughter was going to be hard on him, and i still see the hurt in his eyes. (the whole family has that same look) but seeing him crying in his room, away from everyone was probably the hardest part. i say all this because it does sort of sound like moaning. ops grandpa was more than likely crying, and mom was comforting him, its tough to lose someone that close to you..
I knew someone who’s mother died when she was in her late 50’s. Her dad supposedly started losing it a bit with his memory and started making passes at her. Her husband didn’t think it was his memory, and made sure to say something. Surprisingly the passes dwindled down to nothing, even though it was ‘his memory’.
Reddit's threshold for evidence is insane, like skepticism is generally healthy, but when something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... what do the Redditors say? _"Listen to OP's poor mom banging her headboard into the wall out of frustration and loneliness probably got her legs up in sadness. Listen to her now washing her face off in the sink after crying so much. Probably got tears in her hair poor thing."_
Let me get this straight. You heard your Grandfather making sexual noises which at the minimum means Grandpa is wacking off and your first go to is to tell your Mother?! I find that a little suspicious but notwithstanding how strange this story is, I would have to be 100 percent sure before telling his Father, especially if the end result would be the destruction of this family. OP, just be absolutely sure before you decide to burn the marriage down.
Also, if it's what OP thinks... This really sounds like abuse. The dad needs to know but normal people do not just do that with their parents. And most parents would never do that with their children. For both to participate is very odd without some sort of precedent. Probably from long before OP or the dad.
yea, I found that rly odd too, especially when OP called it "having TEA" about grandpa (or smth like that). Like, there's no way that if I thought I heard a family member have a wank that I'd go to yet another family member to have a chat / gossip about it .. urgh! .. to me that'd make a situation like that 10x more awkward.
Maybe the grandpa was jacking off. As for the mom not being there, maybe she just went to get some water? idk. Just because she wasn't in her room doesn't mean she had to be in the bathroom. She might have been somewhere else. Her going stone faced was probably due to her hearing her dad jack off.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 honestly, if i thought i heard that, i would go find someone else, if only so they can help me forget what i just heard. also, some people are kinda open about their and their family member's sex life.
@@abiean222 I mean, yea, fair enough, I know people who are open with their families too .. but .. about their own sex life - like, gossiping "tea" about what someone else is doing in privacy just seems like a gross overstepping of boundaries to me.
I feel like it’s possible grandad was doing the five knuckle shuffle and Mom went out for a smoke. There’s no way OP knows every article of clothing Mom owns and plenty of people own pajamas or slippers they might step outside briefly in. Plus it would make sense for Mom to be evasive about smoking if she doesn’t want her teenage kiddo to know.
I hope what you're saying is true. I had a somewhat similar situation when I was a child's. Heard a noise went to get my mom and she wasn't there. Looked in the bathroom in the kitchen and she wasn't there. Eventually put on my coat boot and hats to Go to a neighbor's house only to see my mother on the porch, having a cigarette in her slippers in bathrobe.
In story 1, really OP should've try to hide things up when they've calmed down. Go back to grandpa's place on days mom could've went. Fake sick at work. Open the door when the noises happened, pretend to say "Grandpa are you okay? I heard sounds". Prepare to wear clothes you can get out with and cash, so when the cat's out the bag, you can immediately run outside if shit gone really south. Though well, I do understand this will be hard. OP can only muster up and do what is best on their mental situation during the distress and next few weeks. But yeah, this is the sort of thing that would be difficult to prove without actual eyewitness. And making the wrong assumption, or even right but cannot prove it, will be devastating for anyone hurt to not have that closure.
Story 3. I think she should just be honest with the husband and just turn it into marriage of convenience. That way she can start seeing other people on the side as well.
best case scenario if she tells him she knows, but it is fully possible that he'd just divorce her. half the fun for cheaters is that they are doing something behind their partner's back, that its a secret.
Yes. My concern is, although she may not give an eff at this point, is that her apparent cold behaviour she has towards him now will give him justification in his own mind to carry on cheating.
@@It-is-me...Melsiehe already cheated on her when everything is fine, they make up excuses no matter what. She is checked out and doesn't care to make him comfortable. She's just building it up within herself to leave entirely
@@squirrel670 Yes I know, but her quite understandably behaving coldly to him will make him feel a whole lot better about it and he'll probably convince himself that his own cheating came after.
@@It-is-me...Melsie even if he did, it's not her problem. He already justified it enough to be in the position to give her STDs, are you suggesting she do the pick me dance? He knows he was cheating before her actions changed so is it her fault if he does mental gymnastics to keep doing what he is already doing? That's the mindset that your actions make someone cheat, there is no way she can act to stop him or make him act better about cheating on her. People who believe that are the type to keep getting cheated on, because no matter how perfect a partner you are, the problem is with them and they are going to justify whatever it is to cheat.
I completely understand about not wanting to upend and ruin her kids' lives by divorcing. I'm torn. Would they be better off seeing loveless parents or seeing them separated? I hate he put them in that situation. Some people are so selfish it's disgusting.
If the grandfather was moaning in sorrow and pain for losing his wife and his mom was comforting him, why did she have such a frozen look before going back to normal when OP questioned the noise? This is evidence that she was not comforting a broken hearted man.
Cheater story: If she loves her children, she'll stop teaching them that a loveless marriage is normal. But maybe it's her turn to spread the misery around, even though she thinks it's wrong for the AP to do it to her. If she's willing to sell out her own kids for a nice comfy lifestyle, she deserves a cheater...but the kids deserve better than either parent is offering.
Crying could explain the moaning sounds but not the rhythmic pounding that Op heard. I hate to say it but I definitely think it's exactly what Op suspects. They're stronger than me because I don't think I would've been able to hide my disgust and anger.
The last story makes sense. She is playing smart. The vindictive part of me makes me want to suck him dry and divert all resources to a golden parachute. The realistic part of me sees it as a good strategy because there was a story of a man that cheated, the wife knew, blindsided him with divorce and then he was mad she knew and retaliated by poisoning the daughter against her, making OP regret her decision. Sometimes you gotta play toxic twisted games to survive.
Honestly none of this surprises me. Women have been sacrificing emotional happiness for financial stability for hundreds of years. Why is this any different
Wow that first story. Is it possible that OP's grandfather is actually a monster? In that case, this would be the continuation of the abuse from his mother's childhood? I can't think of another reason why this would just happen one day. Or it could be something else and I could be way off base.
Um... I've never cried in a way that caused me to rhythmically rock my bed back and forth. That's straining to do some explaining. Wait for the update where OP finds out his Grandfather is his Dad.
i kind of understand last one. Divorce, custody battle, being single parent, then co-parenting, all that in exchange of... what exactly? 'being free'? I think that if op finds another man she will start affair without blink of an eye. We dont know if she is SAHM, but if she is, there is another thing -she will need to get to work, and be apart from her children even more. It is a very pragmatic approach. Would i go her way? I dont know. Am i condone her behavior? Absolutely not. One more explanation of mother-grandpa story is massage. Go stand by the door of massage room and listen ;) That being said, i have no idea why anyone give other person JUST relaxing massage at 2 am, and be weird about it later...)
Story 2: The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home Mom?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then.
I HOPE that first story comes with another update or two because I wanna hear what actually happened. Maybe it was a massage for helping him move, but at 2 am? The timing of those events is definitely WEIRD. The time I think is a dead giveaway for what happened in all honesty.
As a child of cheaters and a worthless family, do NOT stay with someone for the children. It hurts them worse than you imagine. It’s more selfish than the cheater. Kids know a lot more than you think, they also put in the middle of Everything, and learn it’s truly their fault for you wasting your life with someone that you don’t love.
Story 1: WTF?! That’s disturbing 😳 Story 2: seriously 😒 she’s a harlot! Her poor son never had a mother and developed issues! Now years later thanks to therapy and was being petty in meeting his mother after she did the same thing Story 3: Don’t back down Op! Her husband is a scumbag and doesn’t deserve a family, the coworker is a homewrecker!
S3. While all of what you said may be true, it doesn't change the fact that he probably has all the money and can fight her in court for access to her children for a long time. All well, the husband and the affair partner get to play happy family with her children.
There is a song called Cats in the Cradle. I love how it teaches that if you don't make time for your kids when they are young, they won't make time for you when they grow up.
the only other way i can explain the rythmic pounding for story 1 while trying to avoid going straight to worst case scenario is the sobs they were making (if it was sobs) shook the bed
Petition for more r/PuppyBloopers, or a puppycam - the puppycam would be put on Yugo's dog collar so that we get to see him wander about in the house, with his wife and daugther's faces blurred, or those parts of the dog wadering about in the house, being cut out. Let me know which one you prefer the most by replying to my comment
I MIGHT have become that sick mom except a lot of self-awareness along the way, along of TONS of help. For example, I realized early on that my dad wanting to grab my nipples when I was pre-pubescent was VERY wrong after realizing ZERO other men I knew did anything like that to anyone, at least not in front of others. When he tried to put his penis inside me 2 years later, I was DONE with pretending he was a dad of any kind, let alone a good dad. I just did not know who I could trust who would believe me. Turned out, almost zero support back then in the late 80's. Not a lot of support now, but I started counting my time NOT abused like others count their sober days...
For the second story, my mother was a drug addict and alcoholic, she put me through the exact same thing when i was younger and i went from a happy go-lucky kid to really depressed and having abandonment issues. So i have never felt so much joy from listening to a post of someone doing what i never had the chance too before i cut her out of my life and she died. God, i feel like im riding a high living vicariously through ops son, i wish him literally everything in life
So the problem with trying to find a reasonable explanation for the first story. Is that when op brought it up to their mom, they were hella shady about it. If she were grieving, crying, etc. That would have been a plausible explanation to tell op
About the cheating husband, it sucks, but let him be a meat stick and a wallet to you. If anything she is putting the kids life over hers. Once they are grown though… she should keep evidence and drop it in a divorce. “Stay together for the kids” like that song.
Story 2 makes my blood boil, my half-brother took his own life at the start of this year, due in large part to my mother acting exactly like the mother in that story. She'd leave her 6 year old kid waiting on the steps in ohio in WINTER for hours after claiming she'd take him out sledding or something. She called off his graduation a MONTH in advance because she "was sick with e-coli" aka food poisoning. A month ahead of time. Good on that kid for turning the table and good on the dad for supporting him
There is a possibility that the mom had been abused by her dad growing up and made to believe that as the daughter she is responsible for “tending to her father’s needs” and never questioning it. The grandma passing would mean no one is “tending to that need” which would then be left to the daughter. And being that’s she’s grown, mother is passed, father is in grief, the excuses would cover them well enough especially if they’ve made an image for themselves making it nearly impossible for anyone to suspect. And the mom just grew up with it being a normal obligation that is to be kept secret. Possibly told that outsiders could easily misunderstand. I’ve seen this actually happen. And it’s nearly impossible to convince someone they need help when they’ve been raised in it
Okay either this has been happening for a long time or the grandfather’s memory is failing, and the mom is seducing him, pretending to be the grandmother. I'm sure the mom looks just like the grandmother when she was 45, so it should be very easy for her to convince him.
For the final story, I can CERTAINLY see why OP is choosing to live the lie instead of go her own way & never see him again: KIDS. Even if she WANTED to never see him again, the fact that they are raising children together means the courts wouldn't allow that, so if she has to be stuck with him in her life she'll endure the situation, that is until the youngest heads off to college or whatever, I'm betting THEN she'll be at the lawyer's office with as much evidence as she can gather. As she stated it's what she prefers over having to half to deal with split custody.
*Story 2:* The son doing the exact same thing his mother did to him seems to only be the beginning of his villain arc. We got his backstory, we see how he got his first taste of karma against his mother, what's next? Digging up dirt about her past?
The last story I think rslash, you might’ve said what you’d do without taking into consideration the main reason OP hasn’t left him. You risk losing your daughter. Not only do you risk not seeing her every day but some custody arrangements include weekends only or weekdays only or less than that. I don’t think you gave that the space it deserved. Especially knowing what a good father you are.
Exactly! I can swallow all my pride for my children. Plus you know women have been sacrificing their emotions For financial stability and physical safety for hundreds of years. This is legitimately no different but because of the era ww are in everyone, thinks that women should just suck it up and do it on their own all the time.
@@kp2223you know that doesn't make it any less terrible. Plus it only sends a bad message to the children you're trying so hard to protect. You're teaching them to roll over for people who hurt them and learn to accept less than they deserve just to be stable.
@@truthseeker9249 Is it better than teaching them A man with a lot of money can hold a lot of power and keep children away from their mothers with enough court cases?
@@kp2223 yes. At least you're teaching them to be strong. You're teaching them to fight back and to never give up. Life has a lot of risks and fighting back against someone who hurts can always blow up in your face. But you'll never forgive yourself if you don't even try. The whole idea of parenthood is we want our kids to be better than we are. We want them to never get into the same terrible situations we got into. Children are impressionable and doing what OP is doing guarantees your children will grow up to have terrible toxic relationships full of cheating and emotional or physical abuse. They'll have that happen to them because YOU put the idea in their heads that those things are normal and acceptable. That's not something I can live with as a parent.
That incestuous affair is a weird one to figure out. I think someone mentioned that maybe the mom is having sex with someone else in the grandad’s room? That would be better but still wrong and weird. It’s hard to think of any answer that makes sense and isn’t freaky
I had something similar happen to me when I was in high school. I took his phone while I had the nudes still on there and I walked up to him while he was at the table with my family. I threw the phone down in the center of the table and said " why her?" He stood up and tried to hug me and explain. And I pulled back and punched him as hard as I can in the stomach. He was 6 foot 5 inches tall and 415 pounds. And I was 5 foot 1 and 126 pounds at the time. So I didn't do much but my whole family saw the ugly woman he was cheating with and his ego was a little hurt.
I was sitting here thinking that the 1st OP was potentially his mom’s son, her brother, his grandfather’s son, grandfather’s grandson, and his own uncle at the same time 😮
The last story the co-worker in that story is a piece of human garbage. How can you go through the trauma and the pain of being cheated on come out the other end. Then partake in an affair with a married person. What kind of mental gymnastics do you have to do to justify that behavior. The fact that she can do those gymnastics and make it okay for herself to behave. That way to commit that type of trauma and pain against another person when she is personally familiar with how much that hurts. She's a garbage human being. Don't get me wrong. The husband's even worse. Because he's the one in the marriage. He's the one doing this to his family. She's just an active participant. I guess it's just too garbage human beings meeting each other in their life of being garbage. I feel for OP. Probably she's financially dependent on her husband. And it is one reason why no matter how many people tell me about the wonders of being a stay-at-home mother. I will never allow myself to be financially dependent on a man or anyone for that matter. And if that works for you that's great, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take in my life or my future children's lives.
It's actually super common for For someone who was cheated on to become a mistress. something about their own psyche needs to prove They've still got it and they could steal a A husband from his wife.
@13:45. “I can’t help myself” is never a good excuse, even if you’re mad that you’re being cheated on. Take some personal responsibility for your choices and emotions
Story One: If you find indecency, EXPOSE, EXPOSE, EXPOSE!!! Do not, under any circumstance, allow indecency (or evil for that matter) to exist by keeping silent about it. That which allows or protects indecency/evil is equally at fault.
That last OP needs to understand that her kids will be able to sense something is wrong in that relationship. Children emulate the relationships they see and grow up around. She is setting her kids up to be cheated on or to have loveless marriages and either way, have miserable lives.
That last story, I just worry that the kids will grow up thinking that a loveless marriage is ok. That they deserve to be treated the way their mom treats their dad. Some get me wrong, I'm on her side, I just feel like she's putting her lifestyle in front of her kids emotional health a little. Not a lot and it is her choice but they will grow up to think love isn't important in a healthy relationship. Which again, that's entirely up to them, I just feel like the choice is kinda taken away when they grow up thinking it's normal.
Is that better or worse than them, Splitting custody and spending time with the dad and his affair partner, Thinking that's a true resemblance of love while the mother stays alone?
@@kp2223 hence why it's a worry and not upset. I don't think she's harming the kids 100% for sure. I was a product of divorce and it definitely messed my life up, but my life would have been significantly worse had my parents stayed together. That said, they hated one another. To be fair though, is a common sentiment that parents not "stay together for the kids" so I'm not there only person in recorded history with such a worry. I just got a "stay together for my lifestyle, also kids" vibe. She mentioned things she didn't want to give up for herself before mentioning her kids too. It felt a little self serving to me, however, I don't know her and this is just an observation upon one part of one side of the story. I also have anti-cheating bias.
@@paranoiarpincess I completely understand I also come from one of those broken homes. But as a married parent now I'm not sure how I would approach this situation, to be honest.
@@kp2223 I'm not married but I am 13+years common law. I feel like if I was in her shoes I sure couldn't do it. I would use the child support to get as close to my previous life as I could and push for full custody. I left child bio dad and it was the second best decision I ever made, next to not giving in to family pressure to get an abortion or adopt my child out. My ex is an advisor alcoholic: every form of abuse too, and although there was only one instance of physical non sexual abuse (and it was sexual abuse but no sexual attacks if you catch my drift) and that instance could be said to have been instigated by me (it was instigated by alcohol, he attacked my now painter who then was my best friend and Is known him for year before having met my ex… I thought my now partner was in danger and I was trying to pull ex off him for both their sakes,) he did end up in jail a few years after I left him for beating his then current girlfriend. So I don't even remotely regret leaving him a dear John letter while he was at work one morning, and fleeing for what I was darn sure was likely my life. The typing point was that I didn't want me soon growing up thinking how his biodad treated me was at all ok. Now I do know this is way more worrisome than just a loveless marriage, but the overarching theme is kinda still the same. Not/Staying for the kids. I think at the end of the day, the most important thing you could ask yourself if in this situation, is: "how much of this am I going for me and which side of this coin would cause the kids the least amount of trauma?
I can relate to that last post, there's no cheating, emotional abuse style of a cheat. Things and health changed, which led to one road after another coupled with some past emotional trauma and it has turned into for the last few years no kiss, no intimate(non sexual) moments, no sex either... she's fine with it just being the rest when her temper doesn't take over from other stuff, and you can guess who gets the venting brunt of that. But as the lady said, is it worth losing a home, losing your kids, losing a nice safe area to be in to start over now vs later? Sadly no, it's not, why pay the person creating the entire issue a monthly fee (alimony) for their behavior and then pay more monthly fees for child support, their needs, their requirements while you get screwed by the system? Not worth it, not at all, single...sure, get out and go as paying to start over maybe worth it, but when there's that large bit more as Admiral Ackbar famously gets meme'd for ... It's a trap!
I feel like the affair partner wants the wife to find out. That way she gets to be the main prize who broke a whole marriage based on her sexual prowess and beauty
Story one, there is an explanation for the behaviour (although it doesn't make anything better). If ops mother was abused constantly in that way by her father as a child and teen she could be returning to that behaviour as a source of comfort due to all those years of abuse leaving her extremely messed up in the head. Kind of like how people repeatedly get back together with physically abusive partners only a whole new level of messed up. Its unfortunately a not uncommon thing for situations like that
That’s actually exactly what I was thinking. “Are we sure that the mom hasn’t been or isn’t being sexually abused by grandpa?”
You’re right, this really doesn’t make anything better.
Yeah I strongly suspect that is exactly what is happening here
@@rosexknight That's pretty much the only explanation my brain accepted too. It's not like the teenager who isn't abused would have some sort of omniscient memory of their mother's abuse when they were a child or didn't even exist. Even inappropriate comments can fly right past kids and are then often forgotten as boring grown up speak.
That was my initial thought as well
I actually audibly laughed at the son's petty revenge in story two. I'd be a proud dad if I was OP. Freaking ice cold!
I was hoping that's what he would do while listening to the story
The son is a real G ❤
@@j-zk6tf15:03 ❤ 15:06
I was nervous until op said the son cancelled their plans. Kid is savage and it’s totally deserved
I was thinking she would ghost him yet again and I LOLd when he Uno Reversed her.
Story 2: Yeah, this is called "Returning the energy." She vanished from his life for 15 years, and apparently only came back for money, so what did she expect?
" But how dare he do what I did to him like he's some cool kid or something I'm cool not him ehhh" the POS mom....
And then she wants his dad to punish him. This woman is either delusional, dumb or both at the same time.
scha·den·freu·de: 'pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.'
Absent parents who want back into their kids' lives have frozen their kids in the stage of life they last saw them. In this case, she saw her son as a little toddler who hung on her every word, and now expected him to still be that toddler despite the 15 years that has passed since then
I wonder what happened with her rich husband?
Story one could be four different scenarios:
1. Mom is being abused.
2. Grandpa is being abused.
3. It’s consensual.
4. It was nothing untoward.
Anything but number 4 is just disgusting. OP should either straight up ask their mom, or tell their dad.
All of these are ew
@@Diamondr11Blue"nothing untoward" meaning nothing ew happening, my guy
Incest, especially between a patent and child, is never consensual
I think 1
Or the dad is somewhere else while the mom is in there with her affair partner. It's disturbing when that's the least bad explanation (other than number 4).
Story 1: I legit had a look of disgust plastered on my face the whole time. My brain can't process.
i wonder if she uses daddy in the bed room with her husband XD
At first I thought, like any normal person, that she was having an affair with her father in law, which is already disgusting. Then it got soooo much worse
@@radhiadeedou8286I thought the same thing!!! What in the world?
One name: MacKenzie Phillips.
@@TitanWar93 😒 I shouldnt have looked her up. Now my algorithm is gunna be all messed up LOL
Sounds like the dad groomed the daughter and now they just don’t have boundaries. It explains her cheating on the husband.
I feel like if it was just the grandpa crying and the mom comforting him, the mom would have said so.
But why hide it from your son?
If the grandpa was crying and the mother was comforting him why would you go stone face
@@booboo0282exactly
And the rhythmic pounding
@@booboo0282she doesn't want him to be sad thinking about his grandfather crying.
In the first story, if something is happening with OP's grandpa and mom it is likely not the first time it happened and I really doubt it was consensual. People generally need to be groomed into this stuff.
Yeah. . .If it was a mourning thing and they were crying, why would the mom hide that at the food court talk? Why not just openly say she and Op's Grandpa were mourning. But at 2 Am? I think OP hit the nail on the head. Just. . .as much as another conclusion would sound nice nothing really fits except the glaring theory and assumption
She probably didn’t want to talk about in a public place
@@KadeStringer2.0Also, the grandpa might've asked her not to mention it to anyone.
@@KadeStringer2.0 Please don't forget the rhythmic pounding. Yes, no one wants to believe the obvious explanation, but there is no other which explains everything.
@@KadeStringer2.0I can sort of understand that, but was it really so hard to quietly say they were mourning the loss of the Grandmother? That they were crying? Why try to lie about being in the bathroom instead of just shrugging and saying it was private? Just too many things don't fit for it to be just that
@@KadeStringer2.0but why would she look frozen?
Story 2: deadbeats always think they can just come right back in after being terrible parents for years. She doesn't get to be mad that her son is doing the exact same thing she did.
If Daniel (formerly known as my dad) ever returns he's not getting the time of day from me. I wouldn't even acknowledge him.
@@Aroaceenbysame with my sperm donor (bc he was not a father or a dad to me). if he shows up back into my life, he’s getting NOTHING from me.
Never never ever stay in a marriage just for the kids. It teaches them what a relationship looks like. It's toxic abd just a bad influence on them
That was my thought too.
It sounds like they have a good relationship otherwise, though, that the household isn’t toxic. It’s possible to come back from cheating, but I don’t think it can be done by ignoring it. The trust is broken, and he needs to know that, otherwise she’s the one lying, and it will become toxic.
#2: The fact that he returned the behavior back to his mom is so good. I'm doing something similar with my dad through emails.
The mom cheated on the dad before and they worked it out and are fine? Oh brother/sister let me be the first to tell you that your dad is NOT fine. He's only in it until at least you are 18. Most likely once the brother is 18.
that what I was said he only with OP mom till they kid get older and then he going divorce her shit he probably cheat on OP mom to
Or possibly riding out the mother's recent loss. Dad will do well to nope tf out asap
Story 3: So the coworker's husband cheated on her, and she…proceeds to be the mistress of OP's husband? What the heck?
This is weird. OP being cheated on is bad and an automatic ticket to Divorce, but the fact that the mistress is someone who was cheated on is weird.
It can happen. Sometimes all people want to do is lash out and inflict their pain onto others in a pathetic attempt to try and feel better.
OP isn’t a misandrist. She’s upset she married dirt
What the "What the heck?”?
"Hurt people hurt people" is a saying for a reason.
Many narcissists believe that if something negative happened to them, everyone deserves the same pain. ( But not vive versa as they're always also hypocritical)
And that everyone with less pain, needs their "privilege" removed.
Basically, people can be victims and assholes at the same time!
The fact that people seem to be forgetting this all the time is why assholes love to pretend to be victims.
You'd actually be very surprised how common it is for someone who was cheated on to become a mistress. A lot of times is to prove they still have it. They could steal a man from his wife
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012I was gonna say that too, I think OP meant to say "misogynist".
Story 2: Can you say Cat's in the Cradle? You learn from your parents. "Mom" (and I use that term loosely) got back the treatment she served. Enjoy eating crow!
Lmao I literally was singing it out loud. Perfect song. They should play it for her birthday when no one shows up
I was very much NOT expecting the son meeting up with his mom to go like that. That kid is incredible 😂😂😂
Story 1: I really hope all those comments are right and they were just crying together because I really don't want to believe they would do that with him in the house, or at all. More importantly I really hope OP will not feel the need to confirm this buy snooping and seeing something that will leave him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.
Why the lie on the food court tho
Any of the rationalizations that people are providing for story 1, there's no reason that the mom wouldn't just come out and say it. But her out right playing dumb...it's clear what's going on. Not only that, but that means her mom has most likely been groomed and doing this for her entire life. OP is young and it's weird seeing your parent as a victim, but I think telling the dad is the no brainer here.
Everyone is making these insane stories, even though it’s unfortunately all to obvious what’s happening
So, my grandmother used to grunt and yell and talk in her sleep and I used to go in and help when it got bad because she sometimes would run herself out of bed and fall. I took after her but mostly I moan in my sleep (which is not fun and has led to uncomfortable talks) so idk, I have a different perspective and she may have been trying to help her Dad and knew what OP would be thinking.
Ok but she could've easily explained it just like you did.
My mom does the same thing and my dad was mostly deaf so I'd always end up being the one to go in and make sure she was ok.
Better believe me I would be quick to explain if I realized that's what someone thought!
I'm wondering if the grandpa's health is getting worse and she doesn't want the son to know how bad it is. Could be why she didn't want to discuss it in a mall food court; could be an emotional conversation
And the rhythmic pounding? Would your grandma pound the headboard on beat during these groaning sessions? Everyone trying to explain this as anything but sex keep leaving out the sound of thrusting.
@@rochie4865but she would've come clean at that point, better than the alternative.
@@squirrel670 unless she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or was just thrown off and kind of mortified. People aren’t exactly logical, she probably like o dear God let this be over.
People don't have "affairs" with their parents. If she does, it's likely she was groomed as a child and the grooming sparked up again after the loss.
You'd be surprised how many survivors stay stuck even in adulthood. Not the majority, but not zero either. Middle age is rare, but maybe with pauses?
Exactly
And you'd be surprised how many people initiate such behaviors after adulthood only
@@Kevin-og1zx source? Please don't say personal experience 😭
@@ACAB.forcutie .. the way anybody else learns anything I live in the midwest I've actually witnessed stuff like this it's been the Talk of the Town before but other than that I mean when it has a hole subreddits devoted to talking about these news stories there are published news stories with how many they get you know just out there people talking about them how many seats are there no one's talking about
@@ACAB.forcutie a bigger majority of people are attracted to adults and they would be minors that's just like facts so using logic is somebody only find big tits and a round ass attractive then they're only going to go for the big tits and round ass
There is one other explanation that I haven't seen in the comments yet for story one. Still gross but not as gross. Grandpa is getting senile. So senile that he isn't exactly aware of his surroundings when he's sun downing. Mom has taken to sleeping on the floor at night with him because he needs extra care at night (non sexual care lol) and she's embarrassed about it because he's her dad whose mind is failing.
Now, as for the noise. Many old people (especially those with dementia) will moan and thrash at night either because they're in pain or because they're unaware of their surroundings. Aaaand if grampa is unaware that op's Mom is there and he gets late night urges... well... He might just be "taking care of himself" if you know what i mean. The Mom might be super embarrassed about this and realized he was stroking the snake while she slept in the same room after op told her, hence her lies about her being elsewhere.
Honestly? Since op heard no noises from his mom and only his grandpa it just being senile grampa doing the deed makes way more sense to me than they've suddenly started an incestuous relationship.
I'd rather have it be this than an affair. The idea of this being an affair bothers me so much that I am literally *hoping* it's what you just said.
But how hard do yoy have to be wanking it to make pounding sounds? Unless he's humping a pillow I guess. It's never mentioned that he has dementia though and is only in his 70s...
She would've stepped out to let him finish if that was the case. Grandpa lives alone so he's not senile, otherwise they'd get him more help or even moved to a supervised facility.
This definitely sounds like a incest and long-term grooming and abuse. Grandma is gone so no more holding back from him. This is so much more common than we think which is honestly so sad and disgusting and infuriating. Mom needs extensive therapy.
That's so convoluted and abuse is so much more likely.
If she's asleep on the floor and heard from her son that Grandpa was wanking it? Of course she'd be embarrassed and lie. I think people are so desperate to assume the worst on the Internet. You think a long term incestous relationship that's been hidden from everyone and somehow only the Grandpa was heard making noises because Mom's silent during sex is more likely than an old man masturbating while Mom's asleep? Good God you people are crazy.
Story 2: I’ve never laughed so hard at a Reddit story. OP’s son is my hero 😂
Story 3: I've been a child in this situation. Even I figured out my father was cheating after a while, but when I asked my mother about it she said she already knew and chose to not leave so me and my sister could have better lives. It was tough, but I thank her every day for providing the best life she could for me. Props to this mom. Make sure to regiter everything you can. You never know when your husband may try to divorce you to go live with his cheating partner, and you'll want to tell your kids about it!
... and in case there were any doubts, he wanted me to belive it only took 2 weeks to mourn the passing of my mother with whom he was married for 40 years to start dating again... Right...
Story 1: All OP had to do is say they got up to go to the bathroom... and i heard some weird noises so i went to your room and you werent there... could have got rid of that excuse easily.
That would've caused a nuclear war
@HobieInTheBox just saying how to ask the question and watch the lies roll in.
Story One:
I think OP's WAY better off telling their Dad about what they heard.
The Dad can do his own investigation, even if he has to get a PI to do that. But the fact that the Mom's reaction to OP's question IS strange...I think she's hiding something.
But RSlash is right, we won't know because of the lack of proof. So I agree with OP that telling their Dad is a better option, mostly because the Mom was definitely hiding something.
Story Two:
The "Egg Donor" abandoned the Friend for 15 years after straight up hurting him and neglecting him, but NOW she suddenly wants to come back in his life and "Get to know him" after all that time.
And NOW she gets butt hurt because "Your son's HURTING me by NOT meeting up with me! PUNISH HIM!"? Uh, NO. OP's son is giving the Egg Donor Mom the SAME treatment that she gave her son: Disrespect and abandonment!
GO cry to someone who cares about your selfish lifestyle, you b*tch! Good on OP for divorcing this Karen and good on the Son for giving that Mom a taste of her own medicine!
FACTS
For that last story, here's my takeaway:
OP's not just living in an unsatisfying marriage, she's completely mentally detached herself from that marriage. She manages to ignore it and live a good life in spite of it while keeping her awful husband trapped in that poor marriage
before finishing the first story: having lost my own mother this year, i saw 1 thing that shocked me, but also brought me a strange sense of comfort, my grandpa crying. hes always been the rough and tumble kind of guy. of course losing his daughter was going to be hard on him, and i still see the hurt in his eyes. (the whole family has that same look) but seeing him crying in his room, away from everyone was probably the hardest part. i say all this because it does sort of sound like moaning.
ops grandpa was more than likely crying, and mom was comforting him, its tough to lose someone that close to you..
I knew someone who’s mother died when she was in her late 50’s. Her dad supposedly started losing it a bit with his memory and started making passes at her. Her husband didn’t think it was his memory, and made sure to say something. Surprisingly the passes dwindled down to nothing, even though it was ‘his memory’.
Reddit's threshold for evidence is insane, like skepticism is generally healthy, but when something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... what do the Redditors say? _"Listen to OP's poor mom banging her headboard into the wall out of frustration and loneliness probably got her legs up in sadness. Listen to her now washing her face off in the sink after crying so much. Probably got tears in her hair poor thing."_
Let me get this straight. You heard your Grandfather making sexual noises which at the minimum means Grandpa is wacking off and your first go to is to tell your Mother?! I find that a little suspicious but notwithstanding how strange this story is, I would have to be 100 percent sure before telling his Father, especially if the end result would be the destruction of this family. OP, just be absolutely sure before you decide to burn the marriage down.
Also, if it's what OP thinks... This really sounds like abuse. The dad needs to know but normal people do not just do that with their parents. And most parents would never do that with their children. For both to participate is very odd without some sort of precedent. Probably from long before OP or the dad.
yea, I found that rly odd too, especially when OP called it "having TEA" about grandpa (or smth like that). Like, there's no way that if I thought I heard a family member have a wank that I'd go to yet another family member to have a chat / gossip about it .. urgh! .. to me that'd make a situation like that 10x more awkward.
Maybe the grandpa was jacking off. As for the mom not being there, maybe she just went to get some water? idk. Just because she wasn't in her room doesn't mean she had to be in the bathroom. She might have been somewhere else. Her going stone faced was probably due to her hearing her dad jack off.
@@augustaseptemberova5664 honestly, if i thought i heard that, i would go find someone else, if only so they can help me forget what i just heard. also, some people are kinda open about their and their family member's sex life.
@@abiean222 I mean, yea, fair enough, I know people who are open with their families too .. but .. about their own sex life - like, gossiping "tea" about what someone else is doing in privacy just seems like a gross overstepping of boundaries to me.
I feel like it’s possible grandad was doing the five knuckle shuffle and Mom went out for a smoke. There’s no way OP knows every article of clothing Mom owns and plenty of people own pajamas or slippers they might step outside briefly in. Plus it would make sense for Mom to be evasive about smoking if she doesn’t want her teenage kiddo to know.
5 knuckle shuffle?
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 cranking hog
I hope what you're saying is true. I had a somewhat similar situation when I was a child's. Heard a noise went to get my mom and she wasn't there. Looked in the bathroom in the kitchen and she wasn't there. Eventually put on my coat boot and hats to Go to a neighbor's house only to see my mother on the porch, having a cigarette in her slippers in bathrobe.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 Boxing his one-eyed champ, polishing his rocket, choking his chicken, taking a self-guided tour. Get the idea?
@@trustmeimaphysiologist uhh … no I don’t
*hears opening story title*
"yeahhh that's enough reddit for today"
In story 1, really OP should've try to hide things up when they've calmed down. Go back to grandpa's place on days mom could've went. Fake sick at work. Open the door when the noises happened, pretend to say "Grandpa are you okay? I heard sounds". Prepare to wear clothes you can get out with and cash, so when the cat's out the bag, you can immediately run outside if shit gone really south. Though well, I do understand this will be hard. OP can only muster up and do what is best on their mental situation during the distress and next few weeks.
But yeah, this is the sort of thing that would be difficult to prove without actual eyewitness. And making the wrong assumption, or even right but cannot prove it, will be devastating for anyone hurt to not have that closure.
Story 3. I think she should just be honest with the husband and just turn it into marriage of convenience. That way she can start seeing other people on the side as well.
best case scenario if she tells him she knows, but it is fully possible that he'd just divorce her. half the fun for cheaters is that they are doing something behind their partner's back, that its a secret.
Yes. My concern is, although she may not give an eff at this point, is that her apparent cold behaviour she has towards him now will give him justification in his own mind to carry on cheating.
@@It-is-me...Melsiehe already cheated on her when everything is fine, they make up excuses no matter what. She is checked out and doesn't care to make him comfortable. She's just building it up within herself to leave entirely
@@squirrel670 Yes I know, but her quite understandably behaving coldly to him will make him feel a whole lot better about it and he'll probably convince himself that his own cheating came after.
@@It-is-me...Melsie even if he did, it's not her problem. He already justified it enough to be in the position to give her STDs, are you suggesting she do the pick me dance? He knows he was cheating before her actions changed so is it her fault if he does mental gymnastics to keep doing what he is already doing?
That's the mindset that your actions make someone cheat, there is no way she can act to stop him or make him act better about cheating on her. People who believe that are the type to keep getting cheated on, because no matter how perfect a partner you are, the problem is with them and they are going to justify whatever it is to cheat.
"I don't want to ruin my family".....op if it's true you wouldn't be ruining your family your mother would be
Story 2: happiness from malice is such another form of happiness, but only when it’s justified of course. And that kid was more than justified.
I completely understand about not wanting to upend and ruin her kids' lives by divorcing. I'm torn. Would they be better off seeing loveless parents or seeing them separated? I hate he put them in that situation. Some people are so selfish it's disgusting.
If the grandfather was moaning in sorrow and pain for losing his wife and his mom was comforting him, why did she have such a frozen look before going back to normal when OP questioned the noise? This is evidence that she was not comforting a broken hearted man.
its so crazy that in a few weeks i will have been listening to this man read reddit stories for 5 years omg sm has happened
First story sounds like the grandpa could be having issues with sundowning or dementia and the mom isn’t capable of acknowledging it yet.
Cheater story: If she loves her children, she'll stop teaching them that a loveless marriage is normal. But maybe it's her turn to spread the misery around, even though she thinks it's wrong for the AP to do it to her. If she's willing to sell out her own kids for a nice comfy lifestyle, she deserves a cheater...but the kids deserve better than either parent is offering.
I laughed sadistically at the son’s revenge on his maternal gonad donor
7:50 OP, you're not ending your family...your mom is (assuming she's _shaking the sheets_ that is)
Crying could explain the moaning sounds but not the rhythmic pounding that Op heard. I hate to say it but I definitely think it's exactly what Op suspects. They're stronger than me because I don't think I would've been able to hide my disgust and anger.
Good morning, afternoon, evening, and night, everyone! Nori is currently laying her her bed with Catfish (her mom)
Oh man, that son from story 2 is just epic. Well done on returning the favor!
The last story makes sense. She is playing smart. The vindictive part of me makes me want to suck him dry and divert all resources to a golden parachute. The realistic part of me sees it as a good strategy because there was a story of a man that cheated, the wife knew, blindsided him with divorce and then he was mad she knew and retaliated by poisoning the daughter against her, making OP regret her decision. Sometimes you gotta play toxic twisted games to survive.
Honestly none of this surprises me. Women have been sacrificing emotional happiness for financial stability for hundreds of years. Why is this any different
It's sad.
Wow that first story. Is it possible that OP's grandfather is actually a monster? In that case, this would be the continuation of the abuse from his mother's childhood? I can't think of another reason why this would just happen one day. Or it could be something else and I could be way off base.
What? The mom cheated before, she's probally doing it again
Very possible, unfortunately that kind of thing isn't as uncommon as people like to think
@@Lilith-Rose the grandpa has a good record, mom doesn't. Stop making her sone poor little victim
@Diamondr11Blue yeah but with her own father?
@@kheuzi6558 probally. Stuff happens
OMG, that second story was SO SATISFYING!
Serves that deadbeat mom right.
Um... I've never cried in a way that caused me to rhythmically rock my bed back and forth. That's straining to do some explaining.
Wait for the update where OP finds out his Grandfather is his Dad.
Story 1: it’s a bad day to have eyes and ears for Reddit. 🤢
i kind of understand last one. Divorce, custody battle, being single parent, then co-parenting, all that in exchange of... what exactly? 'being free'? I think that if op finds another man she will start affair without blink of an eye. We dont know if she is SAHM, but if she is, there is another thing -she will need to get to work, and be apart from her children even more. It is a very pragmatic approach. Would i go her way? I dont know. Am i condone her behavior? Absolutely not.
One more explanation of mother-grandpa story is massage. Go stand by the door of massage room and listen ;) That being said, i have no idea why anyone give other person JUST relaxing massage at 2 am, and be weird about it later...)
I agree with you entirely with regards to story3. Freedom and pride can be highly overrated when you're struggling to feed your children.
Second story… all I could think of is “The Cat’s in the Cradle”, basically the mom got what she gave
Story 2:
The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home Mom?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then.
I HOPE that first story comes with another update or two because I wanna hear what actually happened. Maybe it was a massage for helping him move, but at 2 am? The timing of those events is definitely WEIRD. The time I think is a dead giveaway for what happened in all honesty.
13:49 "What does she have that I don't?" Insecurities, probably.
As a child of cheaters and a worthless family, do NOT stay with someone for the children. It hurts them worse than you imagine. It’s more selfish than the cheater. Kids know a lot more than you think, they also put in the middle of Everything, and learn it’s truly their fault for you wasting your life with someone that you don’t love.
Story 1: WTF?! That’s disturbing 😳
Story 2: seriously 😒 she’s a harlot! Her poor son never had a mother and developed issues! Now years later thanks to therapy and was being petty in meeting his mother after she did the same thing
Story 3: Don’t back down Op! Her husband is a scumbag and doesn’t deserve a family, the coworker is a homewrecker!
S3. While all of what you said may be true, it doesn't change the fact that he probably has all the money and can fight her in court for access to her children for a long time. All well, the husband and the affair partner get to play happy family with her children.
There is a song called Cats in the Cradle. I love how it teaches that if you don't make time for your kids when they are young, they won't make time for you when they grow up.
11:05 getting Trick Pony's "Party of One" vibes and I love it. Serves the deadbeat mum right! 😂😂😂
the only other way i can explain the rythmic pounding for story 1 while trying to avoid going straight to worst case scenario is the sobs they were making (if it was sobs) shook the bed
Petition for more r/PuppyBloopers, or a puppycam - the puppycam would be put on Yugo's dog collar so that we get to see him wander about in the house, with his wife and daugther's faces blurred, or those parts of the dog wadering about in the house, being cut out.
Let me know which one you prefer the most by replying to my comment
Puppycam! Though I don't think Yugo is a puppy anymore 😛
I can’t tell if I’m nauseous because I haven’t eaten, or because of the first story.
"My son is an angel."
The angel of vengeance or execution?
Stood up story: OP, buy your son a beer!
Should have told the dad immediately cuz now there's two people dad potentially can't trust
I MIGHT have become that sick mom except a lot of self-awareness along the way, along of TONS of help. For example, I realized early on that my dad wanting to grab my nipples when I was pre-pubescent was VERY wrong after realizing ZERO other men I knew did anything like that to anyone, at least not in front of others. When he tried to put his penis inside me 2 years later, I was DONE with pretending he was a dad of any kind, let alone a good dad. I just did not know who I could trust who would believe me. Turned out, almost zero support back then in the late 80's. Not a lot of support now, but I started counting my time NOT abused like others count their sober days...
Huge W for OP's son for giving his mother the taste of her own medicine round of applause for him! 👏
For the second story, my mother was a drug addict and alcoholic, she put me through the exact same thing when i was younger and i went from a happy go-lucky kid to really depressed and having abandonment issues.
So i have never felt so much joy from listening to a post of someone doing what i never had the chance too before i cut her out of my life and she died.
God, i feel like im riding a high living vicariously through ops son, i wish him literally everything in life
Story 1: I really hope OPs mom gets therapy it sounds like she was groomed
I also hope that her family realizes it and tries to help her
Oh my God the 2nd story would be perfect in Pro Revenge, Petty Revenge AND Malicious Compliance! OP, your son is BADASS!!!!!
So the problem with trying to find a reasonable explanation for the first story. Is that when op brought it up to their mom, they were hella shady about it. If she were grieving, crying, etc. That would have been a plausible explanation to tell op
About the cheating husband, it sucks, but let him be a meat stick and a wallet to you. If anything she is putting the kids life over hers. Once they are grown though… she should keep evidence and drop it in a divorce. “Stay together for the kids” like that song.
I just can't get past the "granpa is making sex sounds at 2 in the morning. Let me wake up my mom so I can tell her immediately."
Story 2 makes my blood boil, my half-brother took his own life at the start of this year, due in large part to my mother acting exactly like the mother in that story. She'd leave her 6 year old kid waiting on the steps in ohio in WINTER for hours after claiming she'd take him out sledding or something. She called off his graduation a MONTH in advance because she "was sick with e-coli" aka food poisoning. A month ahead of time. Good on that kid for turning the table and good on the dad for supporting him
Slash never disappoints us, he's an incredible Content Creator and always creates masterpieces. His content is amazing.
There is a possibility that the mom had been abused by her dad growing up and made to believe that as the daughter she is responsible for “tending to her father’s needs” and never questioning it. The grandma passing would mean no one is “tending to that need” which would then be left to the daughter. And being that’s she’s grown, mother is passed, father is in grief, the excuses would cover them well enough especially if they’ve made an image for themselves making it nearly impossible for anyone to suspect. And the mom just grew up with it being a normal obligation that is to be kept secret. Possibly told that outsiders could easily misunderstand. I’ve seen this actually happen. And it’s nearly impossible to convince someone they need help when they’ve been raised in it
AINT NO WAY HE NAMED THAT STORYS CHAPTER “in the family”
In the last story, that would be the only time I'd approve a side piece. OP Stronger than me, I wouldn't be able to sleep with someone like that.
Okay either this has been happening for a long time or the grandfather’s memory is failing, and the mom is seducing him, pretending to be the grandmother. I'm sure the mom looks just like the grandmother when she was 45, so it should be very easy for her to convince him.
The last story sounds a lot like an arranged marriage. Very transactional and that's fine for people who able to live mindset.
For the final story, I can CERTAINLY see why OP is choosing to live the lie instead of go her own way & never see him again: KIDS. Even if she WANTED to never see him again, the fact that they are raising children together means the courts wouldn't allow that, so if she has to be stuck with him in her life she'll endure the situation, that is until the youngest heads off to college or whatever, I'm betting THEN she'll be at the lawyer's office with as much evidence as she can gather. As she stated it's what she prefers over having to half to deal with split custody.
We all know rslash can't compete with daddy vladdy
*Story 2:* The son doing the exact same thing his mother did to him seems to only be the beginning of his villain arc. We got his backstory, we see how he got his first taste of karma against his mother, what's next? Digging up dirt about her past?
The last story I think rslash, you might’ve said what you’d do without taking into consideration the main reason OP hasn’t left him.
You risk losing your daughter. Not only do you risk not seeing her every day but some custody arrangements include weekends only or weekdays only or less than that. I don’t think you gave that the space it deserved. Especially knowing what a good father you are.
Exactly! I can swallow all my pride for my children. Plus you know women have been sacrificing their emotions For financial stability and physical safety for hundreds of years. This is legitimately no different but because of the era ww are in everyone, thinks that women should just suck it up and do it on their own all the time.
@@kp2223you know that doesn't make it any less terrible. Plus it only sends a bad message to the children you're trying so hard to protect. You're teaching them to roll over for people who hurt them and learn to accept less than they deserve just to be stable.
@@truthseeker9249 Is it better than teaching them A man with a lot of money can hold a lot of power and keep children away from their mothers with enough court cases?
@@kp2223 yes. At least you're teaching them to be strong. You're teaching them to fight back and to never give up. Life has a lot of risks and fighting back against someone who hurts can always blow up in your face. But you'll never forgive yourself if you don't even try. The whole idea of parenthood is we want our kids to be better than we are. We want them to never get into the same terrible situations we got into. Children are impressionable and doing what OP is doing guarantees your children will grow up to have terrible toxic relationships full of cheating and emotional or physical abuse. They'll have that happen to them because YOU put the idea in their heads that those things are normal and acceptable. That's not something I can live with as a parent.
that little baby boy - even if he is a grown ass man - is a savage.
That incestuous affair is a weird one to figure out. I think someone mentioned that maybe the mom is having sex with someone else in the grandad’s room? That would be better but still wrong and weird. It’s hard to think of any answer that makes sense and isn’t freaky
I had something similar happen to me when I was in high school. I took his phone while I had the nudes still on there and I walked up to him while he was at the table with my family. I threw the phone down in the center of the table and said " why her?" He stood up and tried to hug me and explain. And I pulled back and punched him as hard as I can in the stomach. He was 6 foot 5 inches tall and 415 pounds. And I was 5 foot 1 and 126 pounds at the time. So I didn't do much but my whole family saw the ugly woman he was cheating with and his ego was a little hurt.
I was sitting here thinking that the 1st OP was potentially his mom’s son, her brother, his grandfather’s son, grandfather’s grandson, and his own uncle at the same time 😮
5:37 that doesn’t mean she didn’t exit the building
The last story the co-worker in that story is a piece of human garbage. How can you go through the trauma and the pain of being cheated on come out the other end. Then partake in an affair with a married person. What kind of mental gymnastics do you have to do to justify that behavior. The fact that she can do those gymnastics and make it okay for herself to behave. That way to commit that type of trauma and pain against another person when she is personally familiar with how much that hurts. She's a garbage human being. Don't get me wrong. The husband's even worse. Because he's the one in the marriage. He's the one doing this to his family. She's just an active participant. I guess it's just too garbage human beings meeting each other in their life of being garbage.
I feel for OP. Probably she's financially dependent on her husband. And it is one reason why no matter how many people tell me about the wonders of being a stay-at-home mother. I will never allow myself to be financially dependent on a man or anyone for that matter. And if that works for you that's great, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take in my life or my future children's lives.
It's actually super common for For someone who was cheated on to become a mistress. something about their own psyche needs to prove They've still got it and they could steal a A husband from his wife.
The Second Story sounds like someone has been listening to Cat's in the Cradle LOL
@13:45. “I can’t help myself” is never a good excuse, even if you’re mad that you’re being cheated on. Take some personal responsibility for your choices and emotions
I think that OP in the final story meant mysoginist, which, yeah, she's kinda being. But yk, I'd be royally pissed too.
Story One: If you find indecency, EXPOSE, EXPOSE, EXPOSE!!! Do not, under any circumstance, allow indecency (or evil for that matter) to exist by keeping silent about it. That which allows or protects indecency/evil is equally at fault.
That last OP needs to understand that her kids will be able to sense something is wrong in that relationship. Children emulate the relationships they see and grow up around. She is setting her kids up to be cheated on or to have loveless marriages and either way, have miserable lives.
omg, story 1 was... WOW 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
That last story, I just worry that the kids will grow up thinking that a loveless marriage is ok. That they deserve to be treated the way their mom treats their dad. Some get me wrong, I'm on her side, I just feel like she's putting her lifestyle in front of her kids emotional health a little. Not a lot and it is her choice but they will grow up to think love isn't important in a healthy relationship. Which again, that's entirely up to them, I just feel like the choice is kinda taken away when they grow up thinking it's normal.
Is that better or worse than them, Splitting custody and spending time with the dad and his affair partner, Thinking that's a true resemblance of love while the mother stays alone?
@@kp2223 hence why it's a worry and not upset. I don't think she's harming the kids 100% for sure. I was a product of divorce and it definitely messed my life up, but my life would have been significantly worse had my parents stayed together. That said, they hated one another.
To be fair though, is a common sentiment that parents not "stay together for the kids" so I'm not there only person in recorded history with such a worry. I just got a "stay together for my lifestyle, also kids" vibe. She mentioned things she didn't want to give up for herself before mentioning her kids too. It felt a little self serving to me, however, I don't know her and this is just an observation upon one part of one side of the story. I also have anti-cheating bias.
@@paranoiarpincess I completely understand I also come from one of those broken homes. But as a married parent now I'm not sure how I would approach this situation, to be honest.
@@kp2223 I'm not married but I am 13+years common law. I feel like if I was in her shoes I sure couldn't do it. I would use the child support to get as close to my previous life as I could and push for full custody. I left child bio dad and it was the second best decision I ever made, next to not giving in to family pressure to get an abortion or adopt my child out. My ex is an advisor alcoholic: every form of abuse too, and although there was only one instance of physical non sexual abuse (and it was sexual abuse but no sexual attacks if you catch my drift) and that instance could be said to have been instigated by me (it was instigated by alcohol, he attacked my now painter who then was my best friend and Is known him for year before having met my ex… I thought my now partner was in danger and I was trying to pull ex off him for both their sakes,) he did end up in jail a few years after I left him for beating his then current girlfriend. So I don't even remotely regret leaving him a dear John letter while he was at work one morning, and fleeing for what I was darn sure was likely my life.
The typing point was that I didn't want me soon growing up thinking how his biodad treated me was at all ok.
Now I do know this is way more worrisome than just a loveless marriage, but the overarching theme is kinda still the same. Not/Staying for the kids.
I think at the end of the day, the most important thing you could ask yourself if in this situation, is: "how much of this am I going for me and which side of this coin would cause the kids the least amount of trauma?
1st story. If there was ever a time to get black out drunk it would be at this discovery.
I can relate to that last post, there's no cheating, emotional abuse style of a cheat. Things and health changed, which led to one road after another coupled with some past emotional trauma and it has turned into for the last few years no kiss, no intimate(non sexual) moments, no sex either... she's fine with it just being the rest when her temper doesn't take over from other stuff, and you can guess who gets the venting brunt of that. But as the lady said, is it worth losing a home, losing your kids, losing a nice safe area to be in to start over now vs later? Sadly no, it's not, why pay the person creating the entire issue a monthly fee (alimony) for their behavior and then pay more monthly fees for child support, their needs, their requirements while you get screwed by the system? Not worth it, not at all, single...sure, get out and go as paying to start over maybe worth it, but when there's that large bit more as Admiral Ackbar famously gets meme'd for ... It's a trap!
I feel like the affair partner wants the wife to find out. That way she gets to be the main prize who broke a whole marriage based on her sexual prowess and beauty