@@detictivecastielmalfoy4220 I'm not saying it is, just that I thought he had it at first sense he didnt want to be around the baby's and didn't like them.
she could sue them too for harassment, and showing the voicemails and messages that they send her can prove that they were probably cospireiting with their son and that makes them just as guilty i think she should sue, cause im pretty sure that once that bastard fucker goes to jail the parents are going to try a little "revenge" on Op, they already blame her for him trying to kidnap another woman who has absolutely nothing to do with her
@@dinlupus3196 honestly, honestly, at this point OP needs to tell the cops what the in-laws are doing because I fully agree that they’ll have a little “revenge“ but revenge could very well end up with OP in a Mr. Ballen video
OP's story was basically what would have happened if Chris Watt's mistress had broken up with him. OP got lucky. Chris Watts murdered his wife and two kids to try to live with his affair partner.
"...they wont stop crying everytime he's near...they can sense his negativity. " 😐 or they wont stop crying cause this absolute psycho keeps pinching them. Hindsight is a bitch, man...wow
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox true, but based on how the in laws have reacted to everything, its a possibility that the fil is an abusive person and his sons learned it from him
As a man with kids idk his actions are wroung but being jealous of kids is normal idk u really feel alone as a guy when u have kids it dousnt excuse his actions but his feelings are super valid he probably feels like an after thaught
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 He wasn't just jealous of his kids, he was also cheating on his wife with a sex worker, became obsessed with being together with said sex worker, and decides that murdering his family would allow him to be with her. AND the entire time his unhinged parents were completely and fully on his side and blames the wife when it was found he was taking cocaine for 7/8 months when he was acting jealous of his kids.
The husband doesn’t want the lawyer fees for divorce and doesn’t want child support responsibilities. 8 month old triplets would gather a LOT of payments. That’s why the spouse can convince themselves that they can get away with murder, like Chris Watts and Peterson.
Plus, divorcing and abandoning his family doesn't mean they're fully out of his life, unless he signs away his parental rights and/or just disappears and restarts his life somewhere else
@PyroRoadScout i think that they also dont want to be painted as a "villain" in the sense that he would leave his wife and 3 babies for another woman so they justify it in their head and convince themselves they can get away w it.
It's really unfortunate what happened to OP. Calling the kids "competition" (ew) was already bad enough, but the abuse came in, then obsessing with other women, then the drugs, he needs to be locked up for a long time so he can't hurt anybody
For some people, love shared is love multiplied. To others, love is a finite resource and any love the spouse gives to the kids is love stolen from them. The guy is a delusional narcissist. Falling in love with a sex worker is a big sign of it. Sex workers are paid to give you attention. That's their job. But it's just business. Sane people understand that this is a purely transactional relationship, money for time. But he needed to be the center of everyone's attention so badly that he mistook that for genuine love.
Story 1: He didn't want kids, he wanted a legacy. And now he's pissy he isn't the centre of attention. Some people are not meant to be parents. He's a clear example. Edit: YIKES IT'S ACTUALLY SO MUCH WORSE WHAT
Exactly. He's a narcissist. In his mind, he saw his own children as objects, as pedestals with which to prop up his own ego. Once he found out that babies are living creatures with needs that don't revolve around him and in fact takes away from his time with his wife he stopped wanting anything to do with them
Ever since I heard about the Watts family murders, I will NEVER underestimate the danger of a bored, lazy, selfish husband who is dissatisfied with his life.
I know a guy who recently divorced. He would also blame the mother in that last story. Claiming it’s because she picked poorly and should have known what type of person this guy was. It’s sad that people think that way
Those types would also blame the OF model for making OP's ex stray and for not putting out. It's everyone's fault, probably even the babies except for the crappy ex.
Oh dear OPs partner is a narcissist. She was afraid of him in the very first post. Believing that the children are competition for love and affection is classic narcissist. So is pretending that he did nothing wrong when it inconveniences him.
Even wanting his kids to be his biologically is a sign of that because sometimes narcs are not terrible parents because they see kids as an extention of themselves until they have opinions of their own. An example is Trump, he is proud to say he never changed a diaper regifted his own gifts to his sons if he even remembered a birthday, loved his daughter above all because he found here attractive, she flattered him and he found her a good representation of himself. They all try their best to be the most loyal for daddy's love. I think he doesn't want to be seen with his youngest much because he's jealous of his height, he was always proudly claiming he was so tall but next to actually tall people you see he's not.
I hate how people throw that word around. It's the new "psychopath". We don't know if he's a narcissist. And people with NPD don't typically escalate THIS hard. We DO know that he was on cocaine. So chances are he was tweaking and delusional instead. His actions actually resemble psychotic episodes more (a friend with psychosis once told me that one time they thought the only way to switch the tv channel was to kill the person with the remote), but even then this is not typical of the disorder. Something else must have aggravated it additionally, probably the cocaine. (My friend obviously didn't end up harming the person in question. Even psychotic episodes of this magnitude need a lot of time and neglect to escalate to actual harm done to others, as well as aggravating factors. You can see that in the story too, how he only reached this point when the delusion wasn't broken for weeks on end and worsened with drugs. The average psychotic episode doesn't last that long afaik.)
It broke my heart even more when OP said she was embarrassed for people to see her bruises and injuries. She has nothing to be embarrassed about. Also the neighbors said they saw the ex break in to the house. Why on earth didn’t they call the police or at the very least warn her when they knew what had happened before?
It's disgusting the parents too his side despite seeing the proof of what he did to her and their own grandkids. Guess that explains why he went so far if the parents never let him face consequences. Just awful
Absolutely diabolical monster, that husband. I sincerely hope that man gets the help he needs while he rots behind bars. Biggest and most positive wishes for OP and her children's safety and prosperity.
Getting help in prison depends on the country. I'm guessing they aren't in the USA because OP said she'd need a permit to own a gun, and that also rules out the UK because you can't own a gun for self-defence (except in NI, but there are limited circumstances).
This reminds me of Christine Belford, her insane husband and mother-in-law kidnapped her two daughters and ran away in an RV to Mexico, and when they got caught they conspired to murder Christine by shooting her as she walked into a courthouse for a custody hearing. I hope OP stays safe!!
Holy dang. OP is crazy strong to not only deal with these lunatics, but to strive forward and protect her children from this cult of crazy she accidentally married into. I hope she can get a restraining order against ALL of them.
Lord..I’ll never understand why anyone can hurt a sweet little baby. Even insulting them is taking it too far. Dude has got to be psychotic. I’m sad for this woman and her kids.
This whole story was green flags from OP (putting her babies and her own safety over this psycho’s narcissistic temper tantrum) and exposing the major red flags from this absolute piece of garbage! And then the major red flags that he’s also a delulu stalker who thinks he has a future with a man who’d willingly murder his family and send unhinged unwanted correspondence to someone who only was after his wallet (it’s her job and I’m not judging). I’m pray these women become friends and can get away from this psychopath (or that he hopefully goes to jail). I pray the entire trash family stays away from OP (hoping OP upgrades the protective order to a full restraining order).
First story: As soon as I heard the update of the husband becoming obsessed with another woman and having an affair, I seriously got chills. This story, OPs life, could have ended like Shanann Watt's. If you don't know who Chris Watts is, just know that what he did to his wife and kids was absolutely horrifying, and the knowledge of what he did to his little girls haunts me. I'm glad OP was able to get help and get away from her husband.
Absolutely same. I would have posted the same but I’ll boost yours. It was so so so similar! OP was in genuine danger. So glad she learned of this before the worst happened
Story 1: OP needs to forgive herself. Though I don’t know the whole story, the only way she could have known that her husband would turn out to be this kind of psychopath is if she’d already been through a similar situation, and thank God she HASN’T had to go through something so miserable and grotesque twice. All she can do on is try to focus on the present and plan for the future. I know an order of protection isn’t like a magic suit of armour, but it is something that, if she swears one out against him, she can use his violations/attempted violations of the order as evidence when it comes to things like custody hearings, alimony, and any settlements for pain and suffering you might be due.
I think it was more his hurt masculinity because he is infertile, which his inadequacy caused his obsession with that sex worker. That made him look at his life through as psycho lens. The jealousy was way down the chain of events.
the babies crying when their father was near reminds me of jacob landin. he started to have bad reactions after alleged abuse by his mother's boyfriend and was also an infant at that time and at the time of his unfortunate death. even though infants can't talk and communicate the way we do as adults, there are definitely signs like that. it's so heartbreaking... i'm glad op was able to get her and her children out of there before anything worse could happen. but i wouldn't be surprised is this man offends again. i hope that is not the case.
it’s shockingly not uncommon for new parents to abuse stimulants to deal with the lack of sleep and exhaustion that comes from having a baby. Especially having THREE babies. Unfortunately, stimulants also make people extremely aggressive over time. its genuinely scary what happens to people addicted to those drugs. That man is a psycho and i pray that OP and her babies stay safe.
Story 1 is genuinely my fear for every young woman. Married to a man who chose to abuse the children HE ASKED FOR AND WANTED and being unable to escape because no work history or education
The biggest fear in my life is taking all the precautions to build a stable and happy family and in the end my partner turns out to be an obsessive and criminal lunatic. I hope OP gets stability to keep her kids safe
@@cmhsky It's not about you, son. It's about a systemic issue exponentially more prevalent than your nonetheless terrible individual experience. I also have never done such heinous acts. That doesn't inherently mean I am guiltless in any sort of shortcoming in respecting women, and therefore have some learning still to do. Not being a monster is the bare minimum, and not an accomplishment in and of itself. Because, otherwise, what is there to compliment, when that is all one can boast about? Complimenting someone simply because they DON'T do something obviously heinous, is a choice reasonable people reserve for politicians, not for romantic partners. I am, however, sorry that you have experienced that, especially as a teen. No one should experience that.
Holy hell! The mofo wanted kids, got what he wanted, then suddenly he decides to treat both his kids and wife like shit for literally no reason. I hope he kicks the bucket in prison.
I reckon he only wanted the kids because he wanted another source of attention but didn't realise that they wouldn't pop out of the womb as premade dispensers for his desires. Then lost it when he didn't get what he wanted
Dear OP and anyone in a similar position, never blame yourself for not recognizing an abuser before they remove their mask. Some monsters are really good at blending in, and it takes time for the mask to slip and they reveal themselves. So glad OP got out with her babies.
The family shocks me the most. I just can’t imagine hearing that my grown child is hurting his wife and kids, planning to kidnap someone and just enable him/her like this. I just can’t imagine it. It doesn’t make any sense to me
There is no better feeling on earth than when a crying baby finally settles down and falls asleep on your shoulder. Why do so many guys beg for children, then treat them worse than the family pets?
While OP thinks that her husband taking cocaine is the reason behind her STBX-husband's behavior, I have another theory: *PPD.* Anywhere from 1 in 10 to 1 in 4 men experience Paternal Postpartum Depression (PPPD). It is absolutely *_not_* an excuse, but this is possibly what triggered the events in the story. It usually goes undiagnosed and untreated. Contrary to what postpartum implies, PPPD can occur _before_ birth as well as up to a year _after_ birth, same as with women. Common risk factors for PPPD include "feeling excluded from the bond between mother and child", continual lack of sleep, and hormonal changes. Common symptoms are depression, resentment, and anxiety, as well as aggressive behavior, impulsiveness (such as "falling in love" with "Jessica" and taking drugs), withdrawing from family and friends, and "intrusive thoughts of harming the baby." Like any woman who experienced PPD and harmed her child/partner because she went untreated, he needs help. Shame it escalated to the point that the only place he's likely to be receiving treatment is prison. If you or anyone you know are experiencing these symptoms or have other similar concerns, please seek help.
I honestly think that the husband in the first story internalised all the pain and hatred he felt for himself for not being able to have kids normally and bottled it inside. Since he didn't have an outlet or properly sort out his feelings he's projecting on his kids. I'd highly recommend getting him into therapy and figuring out how to better the situation. Edit: welp, after listening to the updates he's definitely too far gone. A restraining order and getting him into involuntary placement to a psych ward.
Agreed. And men who feel inadequate do things like go to sex workers and obsess about them to fill that void. Then look at their normal, good life with his wife and kids with a psychotic lens.
@@snpr1022 the only reason that happened cause some dumbass man named Andrew Carter sumthin left a whole duffle bag of it out in the woods. The bear was being a bear💀 and even still imma say bear.
@snpr1022 If we can't pick the man, we can't pick the bear and given that we're more likely to get a man like this than a bear hopped up on Satan's special sugar, I'll take my chances with the bear...
OP should get a big dog asap. A loyal companion with better senses than your own is worth more than their weight in gold. A well trained dog could become your literal life saver.
OP needs to go to the police and report the family for witness tempering, they're trying to get her to drop the charges against their son so hopefully it'll stick
“And he was bailed out by his brother.” This. As a girl this is what I’m most afraid of, men just protecting other men that they KNOW are dangerous. Locker room talk and bro code go too far when ur brother beats up his wife and you get him out of jail. If any guys see this PLEASE hold ur “bros” accountable. I’m not scared of the occasional individual creep. I’m scared of the dudes that respect women on their own but hang around with that creep knowing he harasses girls and don’t care.
5:37 so you called the cops on someone currently physically abusing you… and decided to take 25 minutes to get there? They are lucky you’re still alive! Police need to get their acts together and be there within 5 minutes of an active assault/offing. There is no excuse to take another 20 minutes!
It always terrifies me that family annilahtors is a very real term used for people like this because apparently murder is better than a divorce. Just wow.
Holy crap that is terrifying! I get that the parents want to support their son, but at that point the best support is making sure he goes to prison where he can't hurt another woman. They are just as culpable if they try to aid and abet his crimes by doing everything they can to avoid consequences for him. The way he was acting during that bit where he showed up at their house made me so worried for OP and her kids. I hope she manages to stay safe from this psycho and his family.
I understand the “his demeanour was freaking me out”… My ex had a similar freakish reaction when I told him it was over. In his case, he jump through a cealing shaft into the room I was with the baby because “you were not answering my texts and I thought you were harm” (I had been in that room after telling him to get his things and leave) To this day I have always thought we would’ve hurt me if my mom hadn’t arrived to the house. It’s horrible when people you thought were one way, show your mistakes in such a HORRENDOUS way 😔
This is SUCH an important post. The category of murderer is called “family annihilater”. A well-known example is Chris Watts. Slow response to domestic violence is sooooo common and such a problem. If you want to understand all the issues at play here, follow Laura Richards, a British criminal behaviourist. Note how OP blames herself - ‘what did I do wrong?’. So common in coercive control situations. In this case, OP was “lucky” to have been subjected to and to have survived the domestic abuse. She had warning and her instincts. It’s not a stretch to say that Reddit may have helped saved her and her babies.
This reminds me of a case where a woman killed her husband with his Katana in his sleep and smothered both of her kids because they "got in the way" of her getting with her high-school sweetheart that she was sleeping around with behind her husband back.
"How do they think they'll get away with it?" If you really want that answer, it's simple. They don't see their wife and children as people. They see them as objects, accessories, and that makes them disposable. They don't think other people will care because THEY don't care, so why should anyone else? I'm hesitant to blame this all on the drug usage, since, like alcohol, taking drugs won't make you do things you don't want to do, they just lessen your hibitions and make it easier to justify your actions. Like, there are tons of stories where addicts become thieves when they need a hit, but that just means they would always be thieves of opportunity. The drugs are just their rationalization and make the opportunity disguised as "need". Clearly this guy was a major chameleon. The kind of guy who believes that his life will be perfect so long as he checks the right boxes (In this case, probably -- career, wife, kids) and when the reality wasn't his ideal, he snapped. The facade broke in dramatic fashion because he coped with drug use. It is a tale as old as time and one that will keep repeating because there isn't a way to discover it before it happens. I'm just glad this woman was able to recognize the signs of the break before she became a permanent victim of it.
I bet the mom (grandma of the triplets) is being abused by her husband as well and is so use to it she can't see what's wrong here. Why what her son is doing is horribly wrong.
This story reminds me of stories I've heard about an ex uncle of mine. My mom's sister married him, and when they had kids he used to act similar to OPs husband, getting jealous of his own children. He refused to buy anything for his three kids, deciding to go to my aunt's jobs to scream at them to demand her checks so he could spend them all at bars instead. When my aunt asked that he help out, she got beat up. It took her until a couple of years ago to finally divorce him. OP, RUN.
Omg, true crime fan here and I remember a discussion that happened in a channel about the psychology of (usually) men that’s alive their entire family. It’s nuts! And with how the family is acting, you can see where it started
I watch a lot of true crime and let me tell you family annihilators are some of the scariest crimes out there. How they can put up a front and pretend to love their spouse and children and then the moment they want something or face any hardship they take the most brutal and damaging route possible is beyond comprehension. And op’s husband aligns so much of the behavior patterns and traits of a family annihilator- thank God she noticed it! If op hadn’t of gotten outside advice, ignored the signs, or if the ex was less obvious, I don’t think op and her children would have made it out.
When OP mentioned seeing her ex in the kitchen and how he was acting like nothing happened i grew a pit in my stomach. I knew what he was planning. I'm so glad she's getting out of that situation and I wish her and her children the best.
I was married to someone like this. He believed that HE was right and the rest of the world was wrong. In his head, it didn't matter what he did, because noone would believe me over him as he was an amazing man and father. This despite all the evidence to the contrary. He just did not see that anything he had said or done was wrong, and if we went to court the judge would also believe he had done nothing wrong and I was just making a mountain out of a mole hill and over reacting! Well did the world have news for him! Sadly his mother still thinks the sun shines out of her golden child and minimised everything he did, even his own suicide years after we divorced!
13:13 it’s actually its own type of crime called Family annihilation and the people who do this, usually men but occasionally a woman would do this too, are called family annihilators and the reasons can vary from wanting to erase/destroy everything to start anew to religious or paranoid beliefs
Well that just kept going farther and farther downhill. I’m just curious how they managed to be married 8 years without him showing any massive red flags until the last 8 months.
OP shouldn't feel ashamed. I'm a survivor too, there is nothing to be ashamed about. You didn't do this, nor did you deserve it. This was all on your husband. Your husband should be ashamed. He belongs in JAIL!
The statement she made near the end about "how do i keep my head high when i'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person" hit hard for me. While my circumstances are very different, people without this experience don't seem to grasp its impacts and judge you for your reaction, just adding to the shame.
I'm extremely thankful my husband helped me with our babies. He worked 65hrs a week, but would still stay up with them and care for them when he was home. There's no way I could handle 3 babies alone. My gratitude goes to all the moms who can.
Whats even creepier is that the family see the Ex’s new woman as a better replacement for op, and noticing that they don’t care for the triplets when asking about them which makes me think that he lied that they weren’t his so it be easier to get with his new side piece
honestly, this story reminds me SO STRONGLY of Diane Downs. Right down to the "my ex doesn't want to be with me b/c I have kids, so once I get rid of them we can be together forever" motive.
(13:30) The only reason I can think of why would be because he sees his kids and OP as "mistakes" in his life. If he divorces her, they still exist as a reminder of his "mistake", but killing them is ... I don't know, like erasing the save data on a game? Just a theory, I have no idea how accurate that is.
My sister in law is married to an azhole that is just like that and he cheats with his best friends little sister..The kids are more mature than him. We are shocked she hasn't divorced him. I can almost guarantee the husband was actually cheating and not just working up to it. Honestly We hate him. But we understand we that my best sister works full time with disabled children and still gives her sons every sport they want and family time they need. They know I'm sure of it. That there father is one of the biggest scumbags I have ever had the displeasure of knowing and my sister in law is dam tired to even attempt a divorce and still thinks it's better for the kids but we all know usually it's better the parents are happy and healthy instead of continuing to soak those boys in that toxicity watching the worst example of a man and manhood. I can only hope they are smart enough and seeing their mom hurt all the time will spin them the other way and make them great husbands. My si is just a husk of who she was. You can't even talk on the phone because no Matter when you call she's literally taking care of everyone else in that house and just runs around on speaker phone and doesn't have the mental peace to even respond. She's consumed. I think someday she will realize that she has grown enough to walk away for her own happiness and her boys.. But it is already been far too long and she will physically burn her body out before she expirences a moment of peace. We live far away and were warned not to say anything to the husband. So we have to play his toxic game now too or go NC. Bless that woman because jeebus Christmas she needs it.
Lesson: Don’t have kids if you don’t have personal financial backup in case your partner flips. Society has normalized having kids and that you’ll love it once you have a child, but that’s NOT the case. If in doubt, don’t have kids. If you don’t have finances for kids and emergencies, don’t have kids. If you’re obsessed with bio children, don’t have kids (since wanting bio kids exclusively comes from selfishness and ego rather than the actual desire to raise a child). (Not blaming the OP, of course. She was pressured into having children she didn’t want by a dangerous person. I’m just putting this out into the world on the off chance someone who needed it, happens to see it.)
Ive said it before and ill say it again, not everyone is meant to be a parent, and hes clearly not meant to be a parent, or a partner, or heck even a functioning member of society for that matter.
He wanted the sweet and nice moments of fatherhood without any of the time, effort, stress, struggle, or lifestyle change that comes with it. That is pathetic, weak and immoral
I was going to say that OP’s husband was a type of victim, that he had some kind of mental breakdown after the kids were born. It happens, like a switch just suddenly and out of nowhere, even a tumor could do it. But then when OP mentioned the parents…and how much they coddle him? NO. He’s a sociopath, maybe a psychopath. Manipulative and needing to be in control. The easiest and amicable routes, like divorce, aren’t even considered, and I have a feeling he showed this type of behavior as a kid. As he aged, he learned how to mask himself and learn how to manipulate others in a less aggressive way. Once the kids were born and he learned that he couldn’t control them or his wife, he lost control of himself and spiraled. And the drug use only sped this up.
Kids story: OP, your husband needs help badly. He pushed for you to have kids. Even ONE newborn requires a lot of time and care, I can barely imagine three despite having four kids of my own all within five years, oldest to youngest. The fact that you have a go bag IN YOUR CAR is telling of how bad things are. Start looking for what help is available locally. OP, you now have proof your husband is a threat at least to you. File for a restraining order and get the locks to your house changed. Also put some HIDDEN cameras inside your home in case he breaks back in and attacks you again so you can have video proof. OP, while I do believe in gun ownership and self-protection, it's also something that can be turned against its owner. It also requires a good deal of training to be used safely and properly. A good, loyal dog on the other hand will protect you from most threats. Don't advertise that you have one or two. The drug use explains a lot. Doesn't excuse it, just explains it. OP, I would suggest you get a new phone number, perhaps a new phone and keep the old one active to continue to receive texts that could be used as evidence, your choice. If you have any social media accounts, stop using them unless you're getting threats there as well, then screenshot to keep them for evidence. At this point all you can do is protect yourself and your kids. Listen to your lawyer and do not reach out to your ex or his family. Good luck.
Husband: have my babies
Wife: *has babies and cares about them*
Husband: and I took that personally
My first thought wad the husband had ppd
@@Dartkitten ppd isn't an excuse to abuse your family
@@detictivecastielmalfoy4220 I'm not saying it is, just that I thought he had it at first sense he didnt want to be around the baby's and didn't like them.
Why do they choose murder instead of divorce?
Because divorce costs money,and in their twisted mind they truly believe they'll get away with murder.
Family annihilators are a terrifying mystery
The AUDACITY of that former in-laws to call their son’s VICTIM, asking for recommendations for a lawyer to help her and her children’s abuser!
As the saying goes “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I’m betting the father in law is also an abusive narcissist.
That was so disgusting
she could sue them too for harassment, and showing the voicemails and messages that they send her can prove that they were probably cospireiting with their son and that makes them just as guilty
i think she should sue, cause im pretty sure that once that bastard fucker goes to jail the parents are going to try a little "revenge" on Op, they already blame her for him trying to kidnap another woman who has absolutely nothing to do with her
@@dinlupus3196 honestly, honestly, at this point OP needs to tell the cops what the in-laws are doing because I fully agree that they’ll have a little “revenge“ but revenge could very well end up with OP in a Mr. Ballen video
@@alexlyles5402 yes, agreed and by "a little "revenge" ", i meant they probably going to hurt her, i think it may had go out wrong
He’s realizing that OP isn’t going to be able to cater to four babies at once, especially when one baby is a jealous older man
@dr.osterman8158 well technically speaking it is the first story of the video
Only one story bro ☠️
@@Booger2988 sorry I wrote this before I realized there was only one story
It’s still Story 1 lol
OP's story was basically what would have happened if Chris Watt's mistress had broken up with him. OP got lucky. Chris Watts murdered his wife and two kids to try to live with his affair partner.
You gotta be so sick and heartless to abuse babies, yours, or not.😢😠
Right babies literally are so pure, whay sort of evil would you need to be to hurt a baby
@@aliciakozume5928 _(Looks towards 🇮🇱)_
"...they wont stop crying everytime he's near...they can sense his negativity. "
😐 or they wont stop crying cause this absolute psycho keeps pinching them. Hindsight is a bitch, man...wow
Well to be fair she didn’t find out about the pinching until after this happened.
@@Jadeelmao thats why they said the thing about hindsight
The dude is insane
Kinda got a bit upset when she brought up sensing negativity bs but didnt really mind it
@rez_vincent705 I started to worry for a sec that I used the wrong word 😨
The in laws should be investigated. Not just for harassment but also for abuse. Ex and BIL had to learn that behavior from somewhere
Unfortunately that's not how abuse works, some people are just assholes.
@@RiveroftheWitherThis, they could just be pathetic parents who tell their kids they can do no wrong.
Not every abusive person learned their behavior from their parents.
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox true, but based on how the in laws have reacted to everything, its a possibility that the fil is an abusive person and his sons learned it from him
@@Clyde-S-Wilcox true, but in this case he got enabled by his parents, that means something
This man got jealous over the kids that he wanted. What a pathetic excuse of a husband and father
And that was just the excuse he gave. The real reason was even more unhinged!
Calling that boy a "man" feels like a stretch. The longer this story went, the crazier it got. I feel so badly for OP.
As a man with kids idk his actions are wroung but being jealous of kids is normal idk u really feel alone as a guy when u have kids it dousnt excuse his actions but his feelings are super valid he probably feels like an after thaught
I don't think he sincerely wanted the kids. This sounds like he was trying to babytrap her.
@@basstfestivalvlogs7684 He wasn't just jealous of his kids, he was also cheating on his wife with a sex worker, became obsessed with being together with said sex worker, and decides that murdering his family would allow him to be with her. AND the entire time his unhinged parents were completely and fully on his side and blames the wife when it was found he was taking cocaine for 7/8 months when he was acting jealous of his kids.
The husband doesn’t want the lawyer fees for divorce and doesn’t want child support responsibilities. 8 month old triplets would gather a LOT of payments. That’s why the spouse can convince themselves that they can get away with murder, like Chris Watts and Peterson.
Plus, divorcing and abandoning his family doesn't mean they're fully out of his life, unless he signs away his parental rights and/or just disappears and restarts his life somewhere else
@PyroRoadScout i think that they also dont want to be painted as a "villain" in the sense that he would leave his wife and 3 babies for another woman so they justify it in their head and convince themselves they can get away w it.
And Josh Powell, only in his case he took himself out too.
It's really unfortunate what happened to OP. Calling the kids "competition" (ew) was already bad enough, but the abuse came in, then obsessing with other women, then the drugs, he needs to be locked up for a long time so he can't hurt anybody
He's insane
For some people, love shared is love multiplied. To others, love is a finite resource and any love the spouse gives to the kids is love stolen from them. The guy is a delusional narcissist. Falling in love with a sex worker is a big sign of it. Sex workers are paid to give you attention. That's their job. But it's just business. Sane people understand that this is a purely transactional relationship, money for time. But he needed to be the center of everyone's attention so badly that he mistook that for genuine love.
Story 1: He didn't want kids, he wanted a legacy. And now he's pissy he isn't the centre of attention. Some people are not meant to be parents. He's a clear example.
Edit: YIKES IT'S ACTUALLY SO MUCH WORSE WHAT
Exactly. He's a narcissist. In his mind, he saw his own children as objects, as pedestals with which to prop up his own ego. Once he found out that babies are living creatures with needs that don't revolve around him and in fact takes away from his time with his wife he stopped wanting anything to do with them
Ever since I heard about the Watts family murders, I will NEVER underestimate the danger of a bored, lazy, selfish husband who is dissatisfied with his life.
oh boy. you know a story is gonna be a ride when it takes up a whole episode.
🎢 typa episode
This is terrifying! I'm so glad she spoke out. If it wasn't her and her babies, it would be someone else
I know a guy who recently divorced. He would also blame the mother in that last story. Claiming it’s because she picked poorly and should have known what type of person this guy was. It’s sad that people think that way
Those types would also blame the OF model for making OP's ex stray and for not putting out. It's everyone's fault, probably even the babies except for the crappy ex.
Oh dear OPs partner is a narcissist. She was afraid of him in the very first post. Believing that the children are competition for love and affection is classic narcissist. So is pretending that he did nothing wrong when it inconveniences him.
Dude, this is way beyond narcissism.
Even wanting his kids to be his biologically is a sign of that because sometimes narcs are not terrible parents because they see kids as an extention of themselves until they have opinions of their own. An example is Trump, he is proud to say he never changed a diaper regifted his own gifts to his sons if he even remembered a birthday, loved his daughter above all because he found here attractive, she flattered him and he found her a good representation of himself. They all try their best to be the most loyal for daddy's love. I think he doesn't want to be seen with his youngest much because he's jealous of his height, he was always proudly claiming he was so tall but next to actually tall people you see he's not.
It's kinda weird how he just seemingly became that way out of nowhere
Sounds like it comes from his toxic family. Often enough monsters aren't born but created
I hate how people throw that word around. It's the new "psychopath". We don't know if he's a narcissist. And people with NPD don't typically escalate THIS hard. We DO know that he was on cocaine. So chances are he was tweaking and delusional instead. His actions actually resemble psychotic episodes more (a friend with psychosis once told me that one time they thought the only way to switch the tv channel was to kill the person with the remote), but even then this is not typical of the disorder. Something else must have aggravated it additionally, probably the cocaine.
(My friend obviously didn't end up harming the person in question. Even psychotic episodes of this magnitude need a lot of time and neglect to escalate to actual harm done to others, as well as aggravating factors. You can see that in the story too, how he only reached this point when the delusion wasn't broken for weeks on end and worsened with drugs. The average psychotic episode doesn't last that long afaik.)
Im sure the folks in prison would love to have a few words with OP's ex husband.
It broke my heart even more when OP said she was embarrassed for people to see her bruises and injuries. She has nothing to be embarrassed about. Also the neighbors said they saw the ex break in to the house. Why on earth didn’t they call the police or at the very least warn her when they knew what had happened before?
I thought that, but then I remembered the theory of de-individuation and sighed at the human race
1:30 It always makes me uncomfortable whenever anyone uses a phrase like “children are competition.”
It's disgusting the parents too his side despite seeing the proof of what he did to her and their own grandkids. Guess that explains why he went so far if the parents never let him face consequences. Just awful
Yes exactly, and explains a lot the whole family sounds unhinged.
Absolutely diabolical monster, that husband. I sincerely hope that man gets the help he needs while he rots behind bars. Biggest and most positive wishes for OP and her children's safety and prosperity.
Getting help in prison depends on the country. I'm guessing they aren't in the USA because OP said she'd need a permit to own a gun, and that also rules out the UK because you can't own a gun for self-defence (except in NI, but there are limited circumstances).
@@Ramtamtamayou have to have a gun permit to own a handgun legally in the US.
May he go to jail and his new “friends” deal with him for what he has done.
That poor woman. Living with that kind of stress and fear for her children, and for herself, is it's own hell.
This reminds me of Christine Belford, her insane husband and mother-in-law kidnapped her two daughters and ran away in an RV to Mexico, and when they got caught they conspired to murder Christine by shooting her as she walked into a courthouse for a custody hearing. I hope OP stays safe!!
Holy dang. OP is crazy strong to not only deal with these lunatics, but to strive forward and protect her children from this cult of crazy she accidentally married into. I hope she can get a restraining order against ALL of them.
Lord..I’ll never understand why anyone can hurt a sweet little baby. Even insulting them is taking it too far. Dude has got to be psychotic. I’m sad for this woman and her kids.
This whole story was green flags from OP (putting her babies and her own safety over this psycho’s narcissistic temper tantrum) and exposing the major red flags from this absolute piece of garbage! And then the major red flags that he’s also a delulu stalker who thinks he has a future with a man who’d willingly murder his family and send unhinged unwanted correspondence to someone who only was after his wallet (it’s her job and I’m not judging). I’m pray these women become friends and can get away from this psychopath (or that he hopefully goes to jail). I pray the entire trash family stays away from OP (hoping OP upgrades the protective order to a full restraining order).
The first ones like Chris Watts all over again ... But this time the kids and wife get to live...
THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING THIS WHOLE FUCKING POST
@@MrBruh-tp6vh what does it not sound like a copycat of Chris Watts
It’s kind of depressing that there are so many stories like this that I had to look up Chris Watts to remember which one he was.
It honestly sounds just like Chris.. 100% but someone was looking out for the wife and kids
@@TheSecretLover
First story: As soon as I heard the update of the husband becoming obsessed with another woman and having an affair, I seriously got chills. This story, OPs life, could have ended like Shanann Watt's. If you don't know who Chris Watts is, just know that what he did to his wife and kids was absolutely horrifying, and the knowledge of what he did to his little girls haunts me. I'm glad OP was able to get help and get away from her husband.
Op's husband gives me Chris Watts vibes
Bingo. That's exactly what it feels like. I'm so glad the OP got advise and was able to see what was happening and leave before things got to murder.
I was about to comment this!!!!
Literally just commented this!! Right down to the parents protecting him
Absolutely same. I would have posted the same but I’ll boost yours. It was so so so similar! OP was in genuine danger. So glad she learned of this before the worst happened
My exact same thought
Story 1: OP needs to forgive herself. Though I don’t know the whole story, the only way she could have known that her husband would turn out to be this kind of psychopath is if she’d already been through a similar situation, and thank God she HASN’T had to go through something so miserable and grotesque twice. All she can do on is try to focus on the present and plan for the future. I know an order of protection isn’t like a magic suit of armour, but it is something that, if she swears one out against him, she can use his violations/attempted violations of the order as evidence when it comes to things like custody hearings, alimony, and any settlements for pain and suffering you might be due.
At least she has the sense to buy a gun, because if ever there was a reason for one, this is it.
Wow having rivalry with your own children just because they take your wife’s affection
It was never as bad as this but my mother was the same with me and my dad. Some people don't deserve to be parents
I think it was more his hurt masculinity because he is infertile, which his inadequacy caused his obsession with that sex worker. That made him look at his life through as psycho lens. The jealousy was way down the chain of events.
I know it’s thrown around a lot on the internet now but that’s genuinely a symptom of actual narcissism.
Yea really
A lot of the guys who get rid of their families, rather than divorce, don't think they'll get away with it. They end themselves too.
the babies crying when their father was near reminds me of jacob landin. he started to have bad reactions after alleged abuse by his mother's boyfriend and was also an infant at that time and at the time of his unfortunate death. even though infants can't talk and communicate the way we do as adults, there are definitely signs like that. it's so heartbreaking... i'm glad op was able to get her and her children out of there before anything worse could happen. but i wouldn't be surprised is this man offends again. i hope that is not the case.
"What are these people thinking?"
Simple answer. They aren't.
There is no rational thought happening, it's all twisted emotion.
it’s shockingly not uncommon for new parents to abuse stimulants to deal with the lack of sleep and exhaustion that comes from having a baby. Especially having THREE babies. Unfortunately, stimulants also make people extremely aggressive over time. its genuinely scary what happens to people addicted to those drugs. That man is a psycho and i pray that OP and her babies stay safe.
Story 1 is genuinely my fear for every young woman. Married to a man who chose to abuse the children HE ASKED FOR AND WANTED and being unable to escape because no work history or education
This is why I say get out of this type of situation asap, before you end up in jail or the morgue. The abuser is not worth it.
The biggest fear in my life is taking all the precautions to build a stable and happy family and in the end my partner turns out to be an obsessive and criminal lunatic. I hope OP gets stability to keep her kids safe
Ask me AGAIN why we choose the bear?
A grizzly got tranqued in my city not that long ago after wandering around for hours. It didn't hurt anyone.
@@cmhsky It's not about you, son. It's about a systemic issue exponentially more prevalent than your nonetheless terrible individual experience. I also have never done such heinous acts. That doesn't inherently mean I am guiltless in any sort of shortcoming in respecting women, and therefore have some learning still to do. Not being a monster is the bare minimum, and not an accomplishment in and of itself. Because, otherwise, what is there to compliment, when that is all one can boast about? Complimenting someone simply because they DON'T do something obviously heinous, is a choice reasonable people reserve for politicians, not for romantic partners. I am, however, sorry that you have experienced that, especially as a teen. No one should experience that.
@@moviemaestro800 Son???
@@JayeEllis The person I was responding to seemed rather immature compared to even my not-quite-30 self.
@@moviemaestro800 Ah. they must have deleted their comment. I only see yours and mine.
Why TF did the in-laws ask OP for help!? That whole family is insane!
Hoping for the best for op, her babies, and the stalking victim🙏💖
Another day, another reddit story, another example of not everyone should procreate.
Holy hell! The mofo wanted kids, got what he wanted, then suddenly he decides to treat both his kids and wife like shit for literally no reason. I hope he kicks the bucket in prison.
I reckon he only wanted the kids because he wanted another source of attention but didn't realise that they wouldn't pop out of the womb as premade dispensers for his desires. Then lost it when he didn't get what he wanted
Right? Part of me almost wants to believe he set her up
Child abusers often do
Dear OP and anyone in a similar position, never blame yourself for not recognizing an abuser before they remove their mask. Some monsters are really good at blending in, and it takes time for the mask to slip and they reveal themselves. So glad OP got out with her babies.
The family shocks me the most. I just can’t imagine hearing that my grown child is hurting his wife and kids, planning to kidnap someone and just enable him/her like this. I just can’t imagine it. It doesn’t make any sense to me
How on earth did a judge allow that man bail?
You know it's going to be a juicy one when the entire episode is one story
There is no better feeling on earth than when a crying baby finally settles down and falls asleep on your shoulder. Why do so many guys beg for children, then treat them worse than the family pets?
While OP thinks that her husband taking cocaine is the reason behind her STBX-husband's behavior, I have another theory: *PPD.*
Anywhere from 1 in 10 to 1 in 4 men experience Paternal Postpartum Depression (PPPD). It is absolutely *_not_* an excuse, but this is possibly what triggered the events in the story. It usually goes undiagnosed and untreated. Contrary to what postpartum implies, PPPD can occur _before_ birth as well as up to a year _after_ birth, same as with women.
Common risk factors for PPPD include "feeling excluded from the bond between mother and child", continual lack of sleep, and hormonal changes. Common symptoms are depression, resentment, and anxiety, as well as aggressive behavior, impulsiveness (such as "falling in love" with "Jessica" and taking drugs), withdrawing from family and friends, and "intrusive thoughts of harming the baby." Like any woman who experienced PPD and harmed her child/partner because she went untreated, he needs help. Shame it escalated to the point that the only place he's likely to be receiving treatment is prison.
If you or anyone you know are experiencing these symptoms or have other similar concerns, please seek help.
I honestly think that the husband in the first story internalised all the pain and hatred he felt for himself for not being able to have kids normally and bottled it inside. Since he didn't have an outlet or properly sort out his feelings he's projecting on his kids. I'd highly recommend getting him into therapy and figuring out how to better the situation.
Edit: welp, after listening to the updates he's definitely too far gone. A restraining order and getting him into involuntary placement to a psych ward.
Agreed. And men who feel inadequate do things like go to sex workers and obsess about them to fill that void. Then look at their normal, good life with his wife and kids with a psychotic lens.
...yeah imma go with the bear- cause wtf-
What about a cocaine bear?
@@snpr1022 the only reason that happened cause some dumbass man named Andrew Carter sumthin left a whole duffle bag of it out in the woods. The bear was being a bear💀 and even still imma say bear.
@snpr1022 If we can't pick the man, we can't pick the bear and given that we're more likely to get a man like this than a bear hopped up on Satan's special sugar, I'll take my chances with the bear...
@@arrowbliss2515
This
?
OP should get a big dog asap. A loyal companion with better senses than your own is worth more than their weight in gold. A well trained dog could become your literal life saver.
Slash just called murderous husbands "frustrating"?
Understatement of the year
OP needs to go to the police and report the family for witness tempering, they're trying to get her to drop the charges against their son so hopefully it'll stick
The police took twenty five minutes to respond and arrive at op’s house when the psycho assaulted op
“And he was bailed out by his brother.” This. As a girl this is what I’m most afraid of, men just protecting other men that they KNOW are dangerous. Locker room talk and bro code go too far when ur brother beats up his wife and you get him out of jail. If any guys see this PLEASE hold ur “bros” accountable. I’m not scared of the occasional individual creep. I’m scared of the dudes that respect women on their own but hang around with that creep knowing he harasses girls and don’t care.
5:37 so you called the cops on someone currently physically abusing you… and decided to take 25 minutes to get there? They are lucky you’re still alive! Police need to get their acts together and be there within 5 minutes of an active assault/offing. There is no excuse to take another 20 minutes!
It always terrifies me that family annilahtors is a very real term used for people like this because apparently murder is better than a divorce. Just wow.
I never understand people who are jealous of there kids.
Right?? It's so weird like they're *yours* , if you don't want your children to have your wife's attention then take care of your kids? Like what?
I guess it's because they're taking attention or are younger and get fawned over
Because they are egotistic and self centered, like a 4 year old baby locked in the body of an adult.
its just disgusting
Holy fucking shit. I was not expecting this to become a near family annihilator story
S1. Wishing OP and her babies all the best. Her husband is a monster.
Holy crap that is terrifying! I get that the parents want to support their son, but at that point the best support is making sure he goes to prison where he can't hurt another woman. They are just as culpable if they try to aid and abet his crimes by doing everything they can to avoid consequences for him.
The way he was acting during that bit where he showed up at their house made me so worried for OP and her kids. I hope she manages to stay safe from this psycho and his family.
Hoooly shit this is like a Chris Watts case, my God. I’m only halfway through but I’m so happy that OP got out. What a psychopath
So this is what pure, unfiltered rage feels like.
My heart absolutely breaks for OOP. She did everything right and the others failed her at every step.
Egads. Wishing her and her babies the best. That dude & his family needs serious help.
I understand the “his demeanour was freaking me out”…
My ex had a similar freakish reaction when I told him it was over. In his case, he jump through a cealing shaft into the room I was with the baby because “you were not answering my texts and I thought you were harm” (I had been in that room after telling him to get his things and leave)
To this day I have always thought we would’ve hurt me if my mom hadn’t arrived to the house.
It’s horrible when people you thought were one way, show your mistakes in such a HORRENDOUS way 😔
This is SUCH an important post. The category of murderer is called “family annihilater”. A well-known example is Chris Watts. Slow response to domestic violence is sooooo common and such a problem. If you want to understand all the issues at play here, follow Laura Richards, a British criminal behaviourist. Note how OP blames herself - ‘what did I do wrong?’. So common in coercive control situations. In this case, OP was “lucky” to have been subjected to and to have survived the domestic abuse. She had warning and her instincts. It’s not a stretch to say that Reddit may have helped saved her and her babies.
This reminds me of a case where a woman killed her husband with his Katana in his sleep and smothered both of her kids because they "got in the way" of her getting with her high-school sweetheart that she was sleeping around with behind her husband back.
"How do they think they'll get away with it?" If you really want that answer, it's simple. They don't see their wife and children as people. They see them as objects, accessories, and that makes them disposable. They don't think other people will care because THEY don't care, so why should anyone else?
I'm hesitant to blame this all on the drug usage, since, like alcohol, taking drugs won't make you do things you don't want to do, they just lessen your hibitions and make it easier to justify your actions. Like, there are tons of stories where addicts become thieves when they need a hit, but that just means they would always be thieves of opportunity. The drugs are just their rationalization and make the opportunity disguised as "need".
Clearly this guy was a major chameleon. The kind of guy who believes that his life will be perfect so long as he checks the right boxes (In this case, probably -- career, wife, kids) and when the reality wasn't his ideal, he snapped. The facade broke in dramatic fashion because he coped with drug use. It is a tale as old as time and one that will keep repeating because there isn't a way to discover it before it happens.
I'm just glad this woman was able to recognize the signs of the break before she became a permanent victim of it.
I bet the mom (grandma of the triplets) is being abused by her husband as well and is so use to it she can't see what's wrong here. Why what her son is doing is horribly wrong.
This story reminds me of stories I've heard about an ex uncle of mine. My mom's sister married him, and when they had kids he used to act similar to OPs husband, getting jealous of his own children. He refused to buy anything for his three kids, deciding to go to my aunt's jobs to scream at them to demand her checks so he could spend them all at bars instead. When my aunt asked that he help out, she got beat up. It took her until a couple of years ago to finally divorce him.
OP, RUN.
Omg, true crime fan here and I remember a discussion that happened in a channel about the psychology of (usually) men that’s alive their entire family. It’s nuts! And with how the family is acting, you can see where it started
I watch a lot of true crime and let me tell you family annihilators are some of the scariest crimes out there. How they can put up a front and pretend to love their spouse and children and then the moment they want something or face any hardship they take the most brutal and damaging route possible is beyond comprehension.
And op’s husband aligns so much of the behavior patterns and traits of a family annihilator- thank God she noticed it! If op hadn’t of gotten outside advice, ignored the signs, or if the ex was less obvious, I don’t think op and her children would have made it out.
Ex’s family is going through the stages of grief but acceptance. It’s sad how much they want to deny, deny, deny.
When OP mentioned seeing her ex in the kitchen and how he was acting like nothing happened i grew a pit in my stomach. I knew what he was planning. I'm so glad she's getting out of that situation and I wish her and her children the best.
I was married to someone like this. He believed that HE was right and the rest of the world was wrong. In his head, it didn't matter what he did, because noone would believe me over him as he was an amazing man and father. This despite all the evidence to the contrary. He just did not see that anything he had said or done was wrong, and if we went to court the judge would also believe he had done nothing wrong and I was just making a mountain out of a mole hill and over reacting!
Well did the world have news for him! Sadly his mother still thinks the sun shines out of her golden child and minimised everything he did, even his own suicide years after we divorced!
13:13 it’s actually its own type of crime called Family annihilation and the people who do this, usually men but occasionally a woman would do this too, are called family annihilators and the reasons can vary from wanting to erase/destroy everything to start anew to religious or paranoid beliefs
Story #1: and this is why you carry something to protect yourself and your family. Police won’t always get there fast enough
Easier said than done dolt
Something tells me that he gets his evil behavior from those in laws.
Well that just kept going farther and farther downhill. I’m just curious how they managed to be married 8 years without him showing any massive red flags until the last 8 months.
"He hurt me." NGL, those three words were enough for my mind to start imagining what the horrible husband actually did to OP.
OP shouldn't feel ashamed. I'm a survivor too, there is nothing to be ashamed about. You didn't do this, nor did you deserve it. This was all on your husband. Your husband should be ashamed. He belongs in JAIL!
The statement she made near the end about "how do i keep my head high when i'm now being treated like I'm an evil and disgusting person" hit hard for me. While my circumstances are very different, people without this experience don't seem to grasp its impacts and judge you for your reaction, just adding to the shame.
Story 1: imagine being jealous of literal babies 😂
No bills to pay, sleep whenever, be fed.
I don't know, but babies have it pretty good lol
Straight-up Homelander tier evil right there.
I'm extremely thankful my husband helped me with our babies. He worked 65hrs a week, but would still stay up with them and care for them when he was home. There's no way I could handle 3 babies alone. My gratitude goes to all the moms who can.
This reads like a classic true crime story. What really gets me is the family! WTF?! That whole family tree is poisoned at the root.
Whats even creepier is that the family see the Ex’s new woman as a better replacement for op, and noticing that they don’t care for the triplets when asking about them which makes me think that he lied that they weren’t his so it be easier to get with his new side piece
I think you're confusing this for a different story.
Jessica was a SW there was never a real relationship there.
honestly, this story reminds me SO STRONGLY of Diane Downs. Right down to the "my ex doesn't want to be with me b/c I have kids, so once I get rid of them we can be together forever" motive.
I hope op kept evidence of the family abusing her too so they cant sue for custody.
(13:30) The only reason I can think of why would be because he sees his kids and OP as "mistakes" in his life. If he divorces her, they still exist as a reminder of his "mistake", but killing them is ... I don't know, like erasing the save data on a game?
Just a theory, I have no idea how accurate that is.
I'm early! And I should have read the title. The first story is awful. As a mom, it was hard to listen to.
Correction, this whole story was awful
I don’t have kids, so it was super easy for me to listen to.
I think I’m going to skip this one. First time mom and I’m super sensitive at the moment!
My sister in law is married to an azhole that is just like that and he cheats with his best friends little sister..The kids are more mature than him. We are shocked she hasn't divorced him. I can almost guarantee the husband was actually cheating and not just working up to it. Honestly We hate him. But we understand we that my best sister works full time with disabled children and still gives her sons every sport they want and family time they need. They know I'm sure of it. That there father is one of the biggest scumbags I have ever had the displeasure of knowing and my sister in law is dam tired to even attempt a divorce and still thinks it's better for the kids but we all know usually it's better the parents are happy and healthy instead of continuing to soak those boys in that toxicity watching the worst example of a man and manhood. I can only hope they are smart enough and seeing their mom hurt all the time will spin them the other way and make them great husbands. My si is just a husk of who she was. You can't even talk on the phone because no Matter when you call she's literally taking care of everyone else in that house and just runs around on speaker phone and doesn't have the mental peace to even respond. She's consumed. I think someday she will realize that she has grown enough to walk away for her own happiness and her boys.. But it is already been far too long and she will physically burn her body out before she expirences a moment of peace. We live far away and were warned not to say anything to the husband. So we have to play his toxic game now too or go NC. Bless that woman because jeebus Christmas she needs it.
Lesson: Don’t have kids if you don’t have personal financial backup in case your partner flips. Society has normalized having kids and that you’ll love it once you have a child, but that’s NOT the case. If in doubt, don’t have kids. If you don’t have finances for kids and emergencies, don’t have kids. If you’re obsessed with bio children, don’t have kids (since wanting bio kids exclusively comes from selfishness and ego rather than the actual desire to raise a child).
(Not blaming the OP, of course. She was pressured into having children she didn’t want by a dangerous person. I’m just putting this out into the world on the off chance someone who needed it, happens to see it.)
I think Dabney underreacted for this one. Frustrating is not the correct word ... terrifying, sickening, vomit-inducing, but frustrating? Nah.
Ive said it before and ill say it again, not everyone is meant to be a parent, and hes clearly not meant to be a parent, or a partner, or heck even a functioning member of society for that matter.
i just wanna say ive been watching you for 5 years everyday so much that i talk like you 😭😭 I LOVE YOU RSLASH
He wanted the sweet and nice moments of fatherhood without any of the time, effort, stress, struggle, or lifestyle change that comes with it. That is pathetic, weak and immoral
If his parents are reacting like that shows that they view spousal abuse as normal, maybe his dad even hits his mom or something
I was going to say that OP’s husband was a type of victim, that he had some kind of mental breakdown after the kids were born. It happens, like a switch just suddenly and out of nowhere, even a tumor could do it. But then when OP mentioned the parents…and how much they coddle him? NO. He’s a sociopath, maybe a psychopath. Manipulative and needing to be in control. The easiest and amicable routes, like divorce, aren’t even considered, and I have a feeling he showed this type of behavior as a kid. As he aged, he learned how to mask himself and learn how to manipulate others in a less aggressive way. Once the kids were born and he learned that he couldn’t control them or his wife, he lost control of himself and spiraled. And the drug use only sped this up.
You know the story is spicy when the whole episode is just one post
Kids story: OP, your husband needs help badly. He pushed for you to have kids. Even ONE newborn requires a lot of time and care, I can barely imagine three despite having four kids of my own all within five years, oldest to youngest. The fact that you have a go bag IN YOUR CAR is telling of how bad things are. Start looking for what help is available locally.
OP, you now have proof your husband is a threat at least to you. File for a restraining order and get the locks to your house changed. Also put some HIDDEN cameras inside your home in case he breaks back in and attacks you again so you can have video proof.
OP, while I do believe in gun ownership and self-protection, it's also something that can be turned against its owner. It also requires a good deal of training to be used safely and properly. A good, loyal dog on the other hand will protect you from most threats. Don't advertise that you have one or two.
The drug use explains a lot. Doesn't excuse it, just explains it. OP, I would suggest you get a new phone number, perhaps a new phone and keep the old one active to continue to receive texts that could be used as evidence, your choice. If you have any social media accounts, stop using them unless you're getting threats there as well, then screenshot to keep them for evidence. At this point all you can do is protect yourself and your kids. Listen to your lawyer and do not reach out to your ex or his family. Good luck.