How to Emotionally Detach From the narc | From Codependent to Independent

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 89

  • @JJones101
    @JJones101 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    You helped me to get out and not allow him nor his family guilt me into accepting that God wanted me to stay in an abusive marriage. My children and I have been freed. I still have moments of sadness and regret that I could not evolve a snake into a decent human being but I am not God and it will only take an act of God to change him. I gave it all to Him. It is no longer my burden to carry. Thank you.

    • @casperinsight3524
      @casperinsight3524 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Hallelujah 🙌🏼 sister in Christ 🙏🏼 Amazing Grace 🕊️

  • @thecoachingcloset
    @thecoachingcloset ปีที่แล้ว +69

    100%!!! THIS! When I divorced the NARC I took my maiden name back 💥
    I vowed to spend the rest of my life helping other women. Now I have been a Certified Life Coach specializing in Narcissistic abuse for four years. I’m in graduate school getting my MFT. NOTHING & no one can stop me! I’m remarried to a wonderful Christian man!!!❤

    • @acolley2891
      @acolley2891 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Remarried? What did Jesus say?

    • @anthonyharmon9265
      @anthonyharmon9265 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds like it was the guy that escpaped. The poor woman victim crap doesnt fool anyone anymore..

    • @thecoachingcloset
      @thecoachingcloset ปีที่แล้ว

      @@acolley2891 Jesus led me to my husband!!

    • @Sharon-w3y
      @Sharon-w3y หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Bless your heart honey❤

    • @thecoachingcloset
      @thecoachingcloset หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@acolley2891 Jesus sent my husband to me…he is an incredibly godly man! He loves Jesus and is the husband I have always dreamed of. 🙏🏻

  • @mjharris5999
    @mjharris5999 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    As far as I am concerned, the Narc is just a roommate. I’m on my way out the door.

  • @delializarraga9638
    @delializarraga9638 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Oh my gosh, total common sense! "When someone keeps jerking the rug out from under you, GET OFF THE RUG"!
    So stinking true… This one resonated with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • @sunnyside1228
    @sunnyside1228 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Walked out and served 31 days ago. Living with friend and sisters. He loves me and wants me back but drained the account. I watched your live last night as 2 of my 3 married adult daughters can't understand and he has been grooming them as 2 said I need therapy and a job. They love me and will learn as time goes on. I love your get to the point, witty, fantastic videos. Been watching a few years but never subscribed or ordered the books. Now I'm free, as soon as I get settled I will order. Thanks again.

  • @anthonyharmon9265
    @anthonyharmon9265 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Left my typical female narc behind, she will no longer ruin my life. I am now committed to helping men save themselves from those self righteous devils and reclaim their lives!

  • @Holly-d1n
    @Holly-d1n 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Detachment will save your life, you will keep your mind when you detach properly. Be gentle with yourself, do this slow. Open your eyes and watch how you feel when someone you love hurts you. If you feel uncomfortable it's okay it's a warning now next time reiterate what is happening confirming the actions over time causes a natural detachment that is almost painless. This puts you in a healthy perspective watching from the outside in.

  • @alikoenig4715
    @alikoenig4715 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I feel like you are talking directly to me!!

  • @jhoisyESL
    @jhoisyESL 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    He claimed that I was abusing him by not having much more "bedroom activities" and "not meeting his needs", so he said he "would find someone else who will". Within the past year or so, he began having affairs.

  • @Jessicaisfreee
    @Jessicaisfreee ปีที่แล้ว +21

    They are horrible monsters.. probably demon possessed. They know exactly how to destroy, tear apart, control and manipulate you. Gain knowledge and strength and become independent and you’ll no longer be a victim but a victor. Gods people are not controlled by fools but they are free and whole in the presence of the Lord. ✨

    • @anthonyharmon9265
      @anthonyharmon9265 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sounds like my ex wife to a tee!.satanic, liar, cheater and alcoholic!

    • @justman4891
      @justman4891 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      They are. The narc I'm with has been seeing demons in her room during sleeping hours every night for the past 2 years. I see things also and have visions. I had a vision of the rapture. Angels came to take us to heaven. As me and my daughter were preparing to depart, she the narc was standing back cussing and fussing at the angel. The angel looked at her and said do you not see the rapture is at hand???? Then immediately the angel said you cannot go!!!

    • @brandireed5704
      @brandireed5704 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My spouse curses all night in his sleep. I think it is demonic for sure. I've never seen anything like it. ​@@justman4891

  • @smarternow
    @smarternow วันที่ผ่านมา

    I am two years out. Left got OPP. I moved 2 states away. He is in my mind and my nightmare. I pray everyday.

  • @shalanahawley3518
    @shalanahawley3518 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    YES! Can't think straight. Brain fog!

  • @emierthegreenwitch9560
    @emierthegreenwitch9560 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Omg, I am always called a mnarc by him and constantly question myself. I am realizing things and trying to plan my ecape

  • @monimoi9989
    @monimoi9989 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    You are my light and inspiration through this very difficult time! Thank you ❤

  • @gueracabrera13
    @gueracabrera13 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I needed some biblical support. What u said about proverbs n him a fool, mind blown!

  • @mikeyshappylife4424
    @mikeyshappylife4424 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    100% ... whoa, dr. Clarke you nailed it

  • @jacquelinebancroft7442
    @jacquelinebancroft7442 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Call him an “it”

  • @dhconstructioncorp.
    @dhconstructioncorp. ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am so happy to hear you say to take my name back because I was not going to do that but I did and it was the best thing I ever did. My kids got upset and he tells me I will always be his last name. Nope. It was one step that helped me get my
    identity back!!!!
    Love this channel, my ex sister in law is married to my exes brother and has it worse than me. She sent me your link from it showing on her Facebook. I want to say we were strong christians and started off in full - time ministry, three grown kids, thirty years went to jail too. I was faithful, I am exhausted, I was heartbroken and confused because of being a Christian. I was discarded and went from being his best friend to being hated. He went after my best friend and I recognize the patterns from the day we met I will say people can't hide behind Jesus and I am so sick of it. He is trying to change and creeping around again. I listen to this podcast to keep me educated on how to deal with this. It is abusive, slowly getting myself back and I am a strong person!!!!

  • @MamaDoes
    @MamaDoes ปีที่แล้ว +7

    “Keep away from these clueless wonders”… 😳🤣🤣🤣
    Thank you Dr! This made me laugh first thing in the morning, and that’s a good thing!😅
    And it’s so accurate! Most of people do not believe my story and thus, I’m officially calling them “clueless wonders” 👍🏻🤭🫣😁
    And me? I’m gonna have a good day today! 🙏🏻🕊️

  • @allathatjazz
    @allathatjazz 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank God for this man.

  • @anneofgreengables1619
    @anneofgreengables1619 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I divorced the narc 20 years ago & took back my maiden name.

  • @helenrachelle1005
    @helenrachelle1005 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is 💯% my mother, but how does a daughter detach from a mother who is a narcissist? Please help! 😢

    • @nmc1859
      @nmc1859 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Set up sensible boundaries and love yourself and she will discard you.. that's what mine did. It hurt but I'm glad she showed her and abuse the door

    • @anneofgreengables1619
      @anneofgreengables1619 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Go no contact or grey rock.

    • @whoisimani44
      @whoisimani44 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Many of us have narc mothers. You're not alone. Many of us married a narcissist because of a having a narc parent.

  • @tribalequestrian4954
    @tribalequestrian4954 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you!!! He keeps trying to get me to go to marriage counseling.

  • @danicaauge983
    @danicaauge983 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh my goodness you’ve told me to lie about saying I love him thank goodness because I’ve been so conflicted about it it’s been driving me crazy all the other stuff you recommend I’m doing and so it won’t be long before I’m out thank you Dr. Clarke blessings AMEN 🙏

    • @gracebetou
      @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I started to not say it, I would just look at him in disbelief. Then I got cocky and started saying prove it! Be careful, he might beat you up. Mine did. At the end when he would say I love you I would say right, or sure you do sarcastically, course this was after I found some persons crotchless panties.

  • @PhantasmicEther
    @PhantasmicEther ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I LOVE your shirt! I must find one like it! ❤ always appreciate your empowering words so very much 🙏

  • @coolcat7830
    @coolcat7830 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Amazing content dr Clarke 👏👏👏

  • @anewchapter1336
    @anewchapter1336 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I have your book, thank you so much for the longer videos too! Are the T-shirts you wear for sale?

  • @notlikeyoucheater
    @notlikeyoucheater ปีที่แล้ว +7

    God I hope I wish I knew this one before knowing him. He is an evil narc and just horrible. He did a love bombing at first. Made me feel so loved and cared for and suddenly keeps on causing me pain . Saying hurtful words to me, mean and abusive actions to make me feel worthless. Then I learned same things happened from his past relationships. And just used me for his supply emotionally and mentally so that he can get over from his ex partner. He is just an evil. Telling me there's something wrong with me and I need help. Without even thinking it's him. Even detached his kids from his ex wife. Manipulated his kids so that his kids will get angry to their mum. Pure evil man.

  • @gracebetou
    @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I guess I'm not emotionally attached anymore. I did all those things, but I never lied at the end when he would accuse me of replacing him. I thought, yep, with my garden and my animals, but I was holding him accountable. That's what was ramping up his abuse. And then, finally, 1 day, it just clicked, and I went Stonewall Gray rock. And everything he said to me, I didn't care.I didn't respond.I didn't look him in the eye.I just avoided his glance.Thinking this is the ugliest gorilla I have ever seen.
    He lost his s*** . I think he had a collapse. Now it's been a year and the the divorce it coming up in a week and the stalking is so hard to take cuz it's mostly online. Checking my pages constantly every day 3-8 times a day. I haven't even posted for over 2 yrs.😅

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp ปีที่แล้ว +1

    🎉🎉🎉🎉 ID GOD WILLING MOVING ON DONE 👍

  • @Sharon-w3y
    @Sharon-w3y หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you brother

  • @mikeseitz2792
    @mikeseitz2792 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Please use the term HER as well.....Thank You

  • @mac-ju5ot
    @mac-ju5ot 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Its been like jumping out of the rrying pan to the fire hetevwhere i live.everyonebgas issues but none so huge ascthe narc

  • @gingerzelidon3573
    @gingerzelidon3573 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks, Dr. Clarke!

  • @santhoshiroopa3520
    @santhoshiroopa3520 ปีที่แล้ว

    True said sir 🙏

  • @RayrayWarren
    @RayrayWarren ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you dr imma bout 2 divorce my cheting narc im trying hard to get the 500 dollars up he's all these thing's especially abusive infidelity got caught and lied on God and me im soo done i never wanna ever get married again ill rather be single peaceful happy please pray 4 me that i get the money upnto leave sooner than later please again thank God 4 you😢❤❤❤

  • @susantodd7169
    @susantodd7169 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    BEST EVER vIDEO!

  • @sanukfaninPA
    @sanukfaninPA ปีที่แล้ว +4

    what if the maiden name is also a narc's name?

    • @gracebetou
      @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Oh. That sucks!

  • @joyhayes7299
    @joyhayes7299 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you

  • @foxygayla
    @foxygayla 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Nobody understands unless they've been through it. He is absolutely the worst person I have ever met. Farewell and goodbye forever.

  • @SherryWilson-dk7bo
    @SherryWilson-dk7bo ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don't love him and I am sure he knows that but he digs in and hangs on anyway because of getting something from me, different things I think. I have long wanted to change my name back to my maiden name weather I am able to ever be divorced and really free from him or not. Love and blessings to all 🙏❤️

  • @quinoasongs2507
    @quinoasongs2507 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    about the 5 Love Languages; my now ex-boyfriend only had one; physical touch. And it was never enough. Praise God I saw that early and didn't marry him

  • @notlikeyoucheater
    @notlikeyoucheater ปีที่แล้ว +4

    He even threatened me manh times that something needs to be change in our relationship. Blaming me everything why we are always going to have disagreements. He cant see any wrong about his actions and words. Insulted me many times. And telling me hes so tired and sick about us. To make me feek sorry. He even told me he don't ever care what i am going to feel. He is evil. A pure evil man.

    • @gracebetou
      @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Just remember everything he accuses of you. He's doing!

  • @Mandooze
    @Mandooze 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thankyou

  • @oliviacamron8356
    @oliviacamron8356 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I started emotionally detaching from my narc H naturally. He got worse then left to be with his ex girlfriend. How can I stop loving and missing him ?

  • @melissa8696
    @melissa8696 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @whitetigeress1981
    @whitetigeress1981 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My mom is the master narcissist and then would push me into narcissistic relationships and I have to go to her for help and she gave bad advice and now she has turned my children against me.

    • @victoriouscruz1264
      @victoriouscruz1264 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I pray things will turn around for you!! God is able ❤ Keep the faith!

  • @jadeshenellexox
    @jadeshenellexox 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Does anyone have advice for me leaving. We live with my parents in a 3 bedroom apartment.. should I leave? Or should I ask him to?

    • @gracebetou
      @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      He needs to leave. Your parent, your family, your support group.

    • @brandireed5704
      @brandireed5704 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Since it's your parents house, definitely he has no leverage to stay. Make him leave.

  • @JosephineZammit-v4x
    @JosephineZammit-v4x 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Just listening to them speak its enough to make you vomit with disgust

  • @casperinsight3524
    @casperinsight3524 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Tell him you're going thru the "menopause"

  • @theemeraldangel8464
    @theemeraldangel8464 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Please add that when you detach, they are going to accuse you of affairs and affections for other men. They might say you are defrauding them of their due benevolence. Causing them to stray and sin against God.

    • @notlikeyoucheater
      @notlikeyoucheater ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are right. But actually it's him who's been searching women online to find a new one who didn't know him so that he can do the same thing and find a new supply and act like a victim. Pure will. They will find ways so that you will get hurt and then he's ready to move out because he got a new one and will accuse you of doing it but it's him. They don't actually care if they will hurt you. They will put all the blame on you. He is so good in lying and manipulating.

    • @jhoisyESL
      @jhoisyESL 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@notlikeyoucheater💯 this

  • @heatherbowman9450
    @heatherbowman9450 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    410 likes❤🖤💝💚 0:23

  • @notlikeyoucheater
    @notlikeyoucheater ปีที่แล้ว

    He even told me that people that who is going to get married before going to sleep together are just stupid. He is very disrespectful, saying mena words to me. But forgot to check his past and ehat he have been doing. He is always acting like a great helpful guy around the neighbor and his family. Disrespecting my family status. Acting like a loyal good guy. Very abusive and liar. I believe in karma.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    They dont love you

  • @jimlong2469
    @jimlong2469 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    in my case, change "he" to "she"

  • @tribalequestrian4954
    @tribalequestrian4954 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    He fools everyone into his lies including the marriage counseling and pastors.

  • @amyhelman5162
    @amyhelman5162 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Boy Dr Clarke I have been listening to you for awhile and like your advice but you are DEAD WRONG when you are TELLING people TO LIE‼️😡 That is DEAD WRONG ☠️. Yes he can work together for the good to those that love him and are called according to his purpose. But there is something said about PRESUMPTUOUS sin also! That is wrong!!!!

    • @gracebetou
      @gracebetou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I never lied, I only stayed silent.

    • @Aprn44444
      @Aprn44444 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh calm down 🙄

    • @amyhelman5162
      @amyhelman5162 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @ proverbs 6:16 &17 These 6 things doth the Lord HATE yea seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue and hands that shed innocent blood. ROLL YOUR EYES AT THAT ONE AND YOU ARE ROLLING YOUR EYES AT GODS WORD 🥺😳

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 ปีที่แล้ว

    You look good for 60

  • @mooneyrj76
    @mooneyrj76 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    There are a lot of female narcs…. Just sayin

  • @yvonnejeffers8278
    @yvonnejeffers8278 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you.

  • @diane19456
    @diane19456 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you