As the daughter of an addict, Zay, please be careful. I spent my entire life (40 yrs) going through this same thing. The state taking us away because of my moms addiction, court ordering rehabs, mom getting sober and eventually relapsing. Eventually my dad was awarded full custody and my life got better but i still dealt with my moms addictions and the constant disappointment that comes with that. Ive given her so many chances to be in my life, countless and even when she was sober she would slick be passive aggressive and degrade me with what she said to me as if her addictions were my fault. Of course every case isnt the same. And u should definitely give your mom the chance and ALWAYS love and support her through her sobriety but please DO NOT take on her problems as your own. You're an individual and none of it is your fault. Protect yourself and your peace. You are loved. Children of addicts have a high chance of becoming addicts themselves and that is the worst thing. Please, please Protect yourself and focus on YOUR goals. Always love your mom and pay attention. I see something in your eyes i recognize, when u were talking about your mother. I know and i see you. Stay focused my guy. A relationship with your mother doesn't define you as a human or make u more or less valuable. You have to protect YOU.
@Pepper Sprout, very good advice, sorry for all you went through. Our two adopted children had a mom who put drug use and abusive relationships before her kids. She never showed up to court and relapsed often. Then she showed up to fight against losing her parental rights. WHAT??? Also had a foster child whose mom had drug addiction issues. After a year with us she was sent back to her mom. When I reconnected years later, I was heartbroken at the story she told me of went on in her high school years. Just an appalling situation. Zay is safe and loved where he is. He sounds like he’s on the right path. The story of the ring ($400) was a warning for me. After all that time of not seeing or providing for her child but she buys an expensive piece of jewelry for him? It looked like a wedding ring too. Hope he’s not disappointed again. But he is of age now and is allowed to make his own choices. I hope he rests safely under Peter’s love and protection though!
As an addict in recovery 10+ years… I’ve seen peers & specialists in my work relapse after long extended periods of times & it scares me 🤦🏼♀️ I’m sure Virginia seems appealing & she’s giving him maybe a little more freedom but that’s scary.
@@cindland Yeah, that ring is Sus I don't think it was from his Mom or cost that much I saw the same ring on Amazon for 25 dollars. Some Ppl also steal from others and say it came from them. My foster brother bought me and my mom jewelry for mothers day he had stolen and we found out later when his girlfriend's mom called and said her jewelry was missing
@@HughMadBro Yeah, I think he is going for the freedom because Peter doesn't play that and I feel like he wants to do whatever he wants and Peter has rules and if u can't follow them he said before then you have to move on. I also feel he is saying he is moving with his friend but he will end up with his Mom. They always end up back with these parents no matter what u do for them. I'm from a family who had fostered so many kids and they always end up back with their parents or in a relationship
I love how concerned the little girl was about the dogs. She knows they can’t be left alone all day without someone letting them out to pee. Bless her heart for caring.
Good observation from you. I'm sure dad must have arranged for the neighbours or someone to check on them. He's a loving and caring person who wants the best for all. That's why I think he must have an arrangement. My dog can stay home for max 5 hours sleeping. The rest of the 3 hours my neighbour will pick him up for a walk and stay at her place to have a playdate with her two other dogs. They have to sleep too while no one is home. This video is too short for long details I guess. His focus was on his son, Zay.
The way Zay acts with the younger children really shows how caring and the type of person he is. I really hope that his birthmom doesn't fail him again now that they have reconnected
I love these three especially Anthony. There’s something about him. Though he’s happy now there’s that expression on his face. I wish him a lifetime of happiness and peace.
As someone connected to the field of social work, I think Jay should take his time with his Mom. Take things slow Zay because really there is no reason for you to rush, you have a safe home with a family who loves you.
The mother is a big liar and is disrupting the home. She hasn’t change but he has. Look at his hair. Why would she approve him looking like that and saying she is cleaned. She remind me of my foster/adoptive kids parent. They go to court with all their lies and the case worker reads the report with failed drug test, arrest, and living wherever she can lay her head. He needs to contact the caseworker about the phone calls which I’m sure he has. His attitude has changed and his apparel. He didn’t hug his father. Hope he don’t run away.
@@lindadrinks-johnson1904 the fact that he was working with her boss was a read flag to me. First time she has seen him in years, and she has him working. I'm sure that the mother is filling his head with lies. This is far too common with kids in foster care, who have aged out. Peter is a MUCH better role model.
Yeah the situation makes me feel uncomfortable and Zay’s attitude toward the family seems to have changed. I hate making assumptions because it’s not my life but something in my heart just makes me uneasy about how she had him for only a short time and is having him work and talking about all of these grandiose plans. I just feel like after so many years they should be taking time to get to know each other again and going through the process of rebuilding a relationship before jumping into anything serious
Zay... If you're reading these comments, please know that both the positive ones and the cautious ones regarding your mom all come from from those who have followed your journey and care. They are all emotionally invested in your story and mean well from both perspectives. I don't believe that any of the comments are being made to make you feel bad about your mom. I think the best advice that has come from both perspectives is to just take things slow. That is sound advice for all situations you'll face in life.
It warms my soul that Zay was fortunate to reconnect with his mom. But I hope he doesn't let all these new emotions cause him to make quick life changing decisions. Take it slow.
As someone who worked with foster kids for years, they are very loyal to their birth parents no matter what (or how great the foster parents are). They tend to romanticize reuniting with their BP and will believe the parent has changed despite being disappointed by them many times. I wish Zay well during this emotional rollercoaster period.
that is so true my step brother was the same way until he was an adult.and old enough to make his own decisions and he went to try and move in with his mom and she wanted money he came to my mom and my mom told him come on honey your gonna live here finish school not pay a dime and then graduate and well see from there if you go on to more school or work and my mom at this point was no longer with his dad for about 5 years but he is still my brother to this day and he still calls my mom mom and is at every family function lol..very bad things happened to him when he was little with his mom and in foster care he said he knew and finally felt safe when he got to us and still knows that even as a grown man we will and always will have his back shoot that's our baby brother lol... always will be even if hes a grown man haha..
Came to read the comments before watching the video. Sounds like Zay had a wonderful time with his mother and may want to go live with her. That sounds warning bells for me. I met my biological mother as a young adult when I took a 3 week vacation to meet and get to know my biological siblings. She and her husband rolled out the red carpet for me and treated me like royalty... right up until the day her husband made a move on me. Afterwards it was so obvious that she was involved in setting me up (for the sake of brevity I'm leaving a lot out.) Even after that occurred, they tried to talk me into moving to go live with them! After my trip I tried to call my mother cause I still wanted a relationship with her, but I refused to talk to her husband. She told me if I wouldn't talk to her husband she wanted nothing to do with me. She hung up on me and never talked to me again until I went to see her on her deathbed when she was barely able to talk. It's devastating when those who are supposed to love you put on an act to gain your trust and then their true colors come out. I know it doesn't always work out this way but there's a reason they didn't raise us. Maybe they have changed but sometimes that change is only surface deep. Please move slowly, Zay, and don't rush into any major life changes. I know it's hard cause everyone craves love from their biological parent. But not all biological parents are capable of real maternal or paternal love. Maybe just work on developing a relationship from a distance rather than moving to live with them. Take your time, proceed with caution and don't let yourself get so caught up in the dream that you miss the red flags and warning bells. Sometimes it really is too good to be true.
Thank you for being honest. I’m a foster/adopt mom and also had a Group Home for 20 years. I know what happens when these children go home for weekend visits and reunite with their parents. They don’t talk about it to their foster parent or social workers. He lied about his mother being clean and having a good time. I suspect he leaving that clean home with three meals daily to live in the slump. He’s going to get in trouble.
@@lindadrinks-johnson1904 maybe the reason they don't talk about it to foster parents and social workers is that they cannot be trusted. There's a lot of people in the system who shouldn't be entrusted with animals let alone children. And there are far too many who really don't care or have grown cold, cynical and critical. Precious few adults can be trusted enough for a child to open up their heart to, especially for something so intimately personal and deeply painful.
Oh dear. I can understand why Zay would want to give his mother the benefit of the doubt, esp as she wants to try to make up for lost time. BUT, ....... there are many warning signs: 1) having Zay work for the mother's boss outside in the heat, as they try to reconnect. 2) expensive wedding-look ring, for someone aged 19??? 3) the dyed hair Thank goodness Zay has a permanent home. Whatever happens, Zay will always have a home with Peter and family: solid, honest and dependable
@@ciarasutton5203 yep, my neighbors used to pay me like $3 a week when I was a little rugrat (8 or 9) to come feed and walk the dogs everyday when they were on vacation, do people not do things like that anymore?
If I haven’t seen my child in years I would be spending quality time with him so I could get to know him and connect with him. Having him work for the boss is no quality time spent. Also purchasing a 400-500 dollar ring, really? Is that quality time, he doesn’t need things but unconditional love and time together. Money and things cannot buy love and time together. Zay has a beautiful’ loving, trusting, kind, empathetic spirit. Peter May you be continually blessed, protected, wisdom filled, patient, kind, caring, you are loved to your children and us you subscribers .You wear your heart on you sleeves. Continue to be a light in this darkened world, you are loved and known ❤️ ❤️
We can't assume that she could take time off work to be with Zay. It may be that Zay working for her boss was a way she could see him more during the day. But, I agree, buying the expensive ring seems to speak to her judgement being off. Wouldn't that money be better spent putting it toward him furthering his education, for example? As a former foster kid, he should qualify for educational financial assistance, too. He's such bright kid, I hope that's something he will pursue.
We do have to remember Zay is now an adult, and therefore can go to his mom’s if he wants, and if things don’t work out right, he knows he does have Peter to fall back on. That he has somewhere safe if needed.
From most of our experience, we know 18-20 year olds are often nowhere near being adults. I know this comment is a year late. I just wish all kids needing homes, could be adopted or fostered up to age 20 or so. It makes a big difference. They need to get started on college, trades or jobs and that can take a couple years for them to get the hang of it, especially if their past was so difficult.
Everyone - we are ALL a bit concerned. I don't want to see Zay go - I know in Peter's care, he's thriving and safe. But, we don't know the circumstances. I for one would like to think maybe she's changed, as he says. Again, I know we all have concerns because we love Zay. But remember this - his Mom is reading this. Zay is reading this. Peter is reading this. Peter is a smart man. Please don't hurt Zay with your words. We can all have concerns but expect the best out of people. And, if he does move to his Mom's, which I suspect he is going to do, he has a home with Peter and Anthony. He knows that. And Zay, if you are reading this, if you do move to be with your Mom, please don't let pride or fear get in your way. If you need to call Peter to come get you, do so immediately. We all want the best for you, because we care about you.
So true. Parenting is not an easy thing, Peter has God given skills and enough love and resources. I want him to stay but he's not Zay's mom or dad. I just want Zay to wait and take some time and I hope he is announcing that he decided to stay with Peter and feels that his mom needs more time to thrive, change and grow.
No matter what they is almost 19 and have to experience this transition. Peter had to let him go and make his own decisions because there's other kids who Peter can look after and care for it's sad but it's life it's a system
When he said she was doing all she can to get him & his sisters back, then tighten his lips together & cast his eyes down to the right, said a lot to me. I hope he stays were he is & continues his education. He will have more time later as a young adult to grow a relationship with her.
I've seen this so much with my parents having so many foster kids and they always think they know more than they want to come back but by then it's too late and someone else had moved in. They end up making ruff on themselves but they learn from their mistakes and I pray Zay has learned what Peter has taught him about Real Estate and that Peter doesn't give into the calls of when they only call when they need something. That will start and Peter will have to set boundaries. I'm saying this because I saw the last video of him moving out
Other visits with Zay's Mom should take place. Zay shouldn't make a hasty decision based on this visit. Is there a reason for his Mom buying him that expensive for ring? I am a bit skeptical but I wish all the best for him. 😊😊😊😊
My fear for Zay is that his mother bought that ring in front of him to buy his love and loyalty. I have seen it before when I was in foster care many times. Zay, please take it slowly. Peter, I hope if his plans are to move with his mother, that if it does not work out, you will always have your door open for him
I thought the same thing and Zay seemed so happy about his ring. This is the honeymoon phase for him and his mom and I would not be surprised if he moves in with his mom and help her get his sister. Zay was pretty clear on what his mom had told him. I think she is putting pressure on him to get his sister and taking care of his mom.
I hope Peter say nope once you leave it’s no coming back but you can visit! If your not on drugs and not trying rob him! But I know Peter wouldn’t do that he will let Zay back in I wouldn’t though because he’s grown now!
Happy he returned home. But the feeling I get is that he plans on going to live with her full time. That breaks me heart. I know all too well how these things can spiral out of control. For his sake, I hope it works out. You keep providing a stable that homelife, Peter! Zay can always come back home. Fingers crossed for you and the kids.
Zay needs to be very careful. Promises are easy to make especially when you are not doing the day to day parenting, and is so hard for a child desperate to bond and be loved by their parent, to understand how seldom relationships with children returning to estranged parents are successful. Besides, biology does not make you a parent. A parent is someone who is there day and night, feeding, loving, housing, guiding, reprimanding, encouraging, nursing, clothing, listening ... the hundreds of thousands of things that children need but take for granted.
Aww I wish people wouldn’t make negative comments about this boy’s mom. He could read these comments and that’s hurtful. Yes, he has a stable life with Peter. And we all wish these kids continued stability. But he also has to make his own decisions and learn from those. If he decides to leave it may not go well but that’s something he has to figure out. We can’t insulate children from pain or from all the consequences of their decisions. And perhaps things will go well! Here’s hoping.
No one is putting down his mother. We don't know her but we do know from life experiences the potential dangers ahead. As one who has been there, it is devastating when the dream shatters and you find out they were just putting on a face to get you to trust them and then they betray that trust. It leaves permanent scars. I never got over being deceived by my biological mother. So no, I won't not warn him not to move fast and make any life changing decisions out of emotions and desire for parental love.
Was so delighted to see the littles when they saw Zay! I have a feeling he may be announcing he is going with his mom. I know God will be with him either way and he has a safe place to go if things do not work out. God bless you all, Peter!🥰
I don't like when videos lead you to believe one thing, but it ends up being something else entirely. But I truly hope that's what Peter was doing at the end of the video! LOL. I'm sure it was wonderful for Zay to spend a few days with his Mom after so long. But it's a whole different thing to live there permanently. I just hope he isn't getting caught up in the excitement of seeing her again. A few days isn't enough upon which to base such a life-altering decision. Peter and the other kids have provided a loving, stable and safe space for Zay, one that he can count on no matter what. I truly wish good things for his Mom, but I don't think she can provide that same type of guaranteed stability. If he truly is thinking of leaving Peter, I hope he takes some time to seriously think about that decision and all the ramifications of it. We all have a soft spot in our hearts for our Mom, regardless of the history. But sometimes it's important to put yourself and your needs first.
I’m sure he’s been thinking about it the whole time, which is fine. I knew he was leaving when he refused to get adopted. He used a diplomatic reason to explain his refusal, which is smart, but I could tell he didn’t want to stay in Peter’s house permanently. What he feels (missing his mom) is completely normal, though. So I wish him well.
@@PatrickEvina4891 I see what you're saying but the dudes right you do need to put yourself in your needs first idk if he'll stay but to each their own is all I know what to say
@@PatrickEvina4891 my thoughts exactly when i heard why he chose not to get adopted! he knew it wasn't permanent all along, which i think is totally fine + normal, especially given his background. i think he wants to be near his mom. + he's taking that chance. there's also probably a bit of....overcompensating happening on the mom's end (eg. the ring she bought him, new hair color.) which is making this option a three more appealing. i think he'll be just fine! wish him the best.
I don't know about the system in the States. In Canada, if a foster child continues their education they are supported for a few more years. Zay clearly loves and misses his mom and sisters. I hope he continues his education and follows his dreams. That he doesn't lose the financial support to go to school if he chooses to live with his mom. If I were him, I'd keep going to school, keep in touch with his mom, and visit her once a month or so to keep the connection. I wish him the best.
We all want only the best for Zay. The decision will ultimately be his alone to make. Peter will always be there with open arms for all his children. He is a man of commitment and faith. The children are so blessed to have been placed in his care 💕
Do not jump ship Zay. Go slowly. It has been several years since you have seen her. Go SLOWLY. She must prove herself to you. Glad you are back HOME with Peter, Anthony & the kids.
I think we all felt it that the writing was on the wall for Zay. Then comes the honeymoon and then like someone stated in the chat, then you still see the same thing as you were younger. I truly wish the best for Zay, he is an amazing human being and if he ever choose to do so, he will be a great dad. Peter watching you and your kids on your world trip and the restaurant was such a joy to watch. You may have taken parenting courses, but if someone is lacking parental skills, love won’t be enough for these kids and their safety is in jeopardy. Zay, you were greatly missed not only with your own family nd those cute kiddos. I truly wish that if you do decide to move, I wish you the very best in life. 💕
May the Lord bless and bring joy to the heart of this young man. There's some sadness in his eyes 😢... You're brave, you're accepted *You're loved by your heavenly father* He loves you more than your own family!!!
The red flags started flying in my head when I saw Zay with that ring she bought him. It screamed she’s just buying his affection. She could’ve paid for a game design coding class for him with that money. Instead, she got him something shiny. All of that he worked for her boss made my stomach churn. Be careful Zay. Just because someone gave birth to you doesn’t make them a parent. It’s like your dad said, sometimes it’s better to get closure from a distance. This is one of those times. Besides, your siblings (including Samba and Rafriki) and dad really love you, care for you, have your best interests at heart and missed you.
I agree with you. Zay seem a bit different first his hair. Peter didn't get a hug. Then he goes on and talk about $400 ring. It seem like he didn't want go back to Peter's house if that was the case he should've stay with mom. Not come back for a few days just to announce that he's moving back with his mom.
I think it’s just a really difficult situation when you’re that conflicted. I think that the mother has the hardest work to do now more so than before she became “clean” as Zay said. In my culture, we have a saying, ‘if you’re used to being around thrives, you will continually walk around with your hand on your wallet even if you start hanging around the most honest monk-like people on the earth. It’s reflexive and unconscious.’ Similarly, once you’re an addict, you will always be an addict, no matter how long your sobriety is. The OCD you develop chasing your next thrill is still there, and will always manifest itself in other aspects of your life. I’m an addict. I’ve been sober for over a decade. I don’t even drink coffee anymore. But my OCD does cause me to relapse. My relapses are always worst when I’ve lost control of my behaviors not of what specific addition I partake in. Worst than that, my OCD is often manifested in ways that are just entirely unhealthy, like in my stubborn behaviors that have nothing to do with my addiction. For example, I’m so disciplined that if I say I’m going to do something, especially for someone, I do it. I not only get it done, I get it done by the time I say I’m going to get it done. If I don’t do it, it’s usually because of a factor outside of my control. But the bad part of that, is that I’ll spend 48 and often 72 hours straight, in one spot just working, with no sleep, no food, no bathroom breaks. Nothing. Trying to recuperate from that kind of binge has set me back long time, years even. I know how to manage my time. I just don’t because my compulsiveness takes over. I try channeling them into healthier activities but I’m human. I say all of this because I’m sensing similar behavioral pattern’s in Zay’s Mother. I can see her addiction based OCD manifesting in other aspects of her life. My gut feeling tells me that she’s a loving woman who wants to please everyone around her, which was probably a greater, if not the greatest, contributing factor in her addiction in the first place. Being a nurse, she wants to take care of her kids and catch up on all of the time she missed out of; and she’s doing that to both her own and her kiss detriments; and she’s not able to see that. I know Zay wants to work and likes nice and expensive things. But as a parent, you have to learn when to let your kids earn things, when to teach them about hard work and when to enjoy your time with them. After not seeing your son for so long, why would let him go spend that much time with your boss, of all people, even if he was working? Why not get to know him? I don’t have any kids as I haven’t adopted any yet. But I don’t see myself letting my children, especially teens like Zay, go work after not seeing them in over 4 years. That just doesn’t make any sense to me. I think Zay didn’t hug his dad right away because he was just probably overwhelmed with happiness from seeing his family after having been away for such a long time. I hope Zay goes to college internationally or as far away from both his mother and his dad. I think he should go to California or NY or Boston for college. I do empathize with Zay though on his hesitant to fully let his guards down and feel like a part of his family in NC. Not only has he been let down every time he’s done that in the past. But I’ve also witness some gut wrenching moments from watching these videos of the way his dad acts, even though I’m sure Peter is oblivious to the negative effects he is causing. I hope Peter will leave this comment even I’m sure it’s not the easiest thing in the world to be receptive to feedback, even positive ones. The hair is a non-issue. If that’s all he’d done while he was there, I would’ve been OK with the idea of him moving to live with his mother. But that $400-$500 ring and that while working for her boss thing, gave me pause for concern. @Jeniece Collazo
@@alicetheegreetIt's ok for Zay to move with his mother. Peter took care of him all this time a hug would have been nice. The vibe I got from the her buying the ring was she buying affection. Its like she's saying to him if you come home I can buy you this and more. $500 on ring is a bit ridiculous. I feel like his mom might be lying to him. He's though been so much in his life. If he gets hurt that would be very sad. I understand the love he has for his mom but he needs to be careful because most promises are broken. Zay should have stood with his mom if he didn't want to come back. He doesn't need to make a video about leaving . I'm sure Zay can stay in contact with Peter. He come visit Peter anytime.
Peter is his *DAD*. The only reason his dad hasn’t adopted him yet, which I whole heartedly support, is for Zay to be able to afford college. If his Dad officially adopted him like they both wanted when he turned 18, his dad would be responsible for his entire tuition, which will be very expensive for what Zay wants to study, especially since Zay wants to go to grad school as well. Zay was removed from his biological situation because of neglect and probably violence as well. Zay talked about how he used to take care of himself and his younger biological sister before getting put in foster care. I see him doing exactly that again and becoming that parent again if he moves with that lady who gave birth to him. For him to leave his dad and his other siblings just to go back to the birthing lady, would impact him negatively. If Zay wants to visit that birthing lady, he should do so during the holidays. Maybe he can spend a week or two after summer break from college with her before going home to spend the rest of the time with his family. Yeah, I agree with you about the hug. I just don’t think it’s that important in the grand scheme of things. @Jeniece Collazo
It’s difficult for anyone to understand the dilemma Zay has going on in his head. The emotional attachment with his mother is very strong. Zay may decide to move back with his mother and if that is what he needs right now, I know you will support him. He knows he has a father in you forever 🌈
24 year foster mom and adoptive mom to seven. Felt like he would want to reunite with mom. I have seen this scenario repeatedly over the last 30 years or so. Unfortuneately only once was it even remotely successful. Love your family, visit, call but go very slow on living together.
My grandmother Mia from Japan worked at IHOP tell she was 87 years old she died at the beginning of the pandemic but she was a good grandmother adopted yes but not any less of a grandma she we amazing because she excepted me and that ment the world to me
Z’s announcement is obviously going back home. I wish he wouldn’t. His mom buying him expensive gifts can be alluring to a child, but it tells me that she doesn’t have her priorities straight because kids don’t need $500 rings and that gift is manipulative. If he leaves, I hope Peter leaves room for him to come back, because z will soon find out the truth after he goes back.
Everyone adores Zay ,he's a lovely ,caring and a handsome young man. It will be sad if he leaves the family full time but he has to try for himself to see if it works full time with his mom ...thinking of you zay ❤..love to your mom too ❤
Zay had no luggage on his way back, looks like he's only coming back to pick-up the rest of his stuff to take to his moms. So glad he had a great time but I'm sad to see him leave :(
Zay, I'm happy you had a good time at your mother's! It's good to see the family back together again! Peter, if you keep stopping for drinks and snacks - then you have to keep stopping to use the washrooms - it's a viscous cycle! lol May your family continue to be blessed! Lots of Love, Jaden
I hope Zay is not leaving! The younger ones really love him and he really loves them. I will absolutely cry if thats the announcement. I am also so happy that his mom is doing the work to get them back..So torn..
Your sweet girl is a talker and she seems like a little girlie girl lol. They both love you so much and they know that they are safe and loved. Thank you for having so much patience and love for them.
I hope Zay is seeing, or will find a good therapist to help him deal with all these big emotions. Lots of red flags after hearing about the trip to see his mom and Peter did a great job of keeping things positive. I’m sure that “off camera” Peter is helping Zay process the time with his mom. Zay, if you are reading this, please know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. You seem like a smart young man and you know deep down what the smart decision is. This is just my advice, but I would suggest that you find a therapist that you can talk through all this with.
Helo Peter , as I told you when you brought Zay at the bus station to see her mother, my mind is correct that he is coming home. He felt a family in you, your trust, and all the kids who love him. Am happy for him coming to the right place and family. God bless you more Peter.
The little kids concern about the dogs was so cute. Whether it was related to their own life memories or not, they recognized that the dogs are dependent on people in the household for their care.
I really pray that Zay stays with Peter. Peter, I am not sure if you did but when baby girl goes to the public restroom stay close by the door and a listening ear you never know who could be in there.
I was raised by a single dad too and had to use the bathroom alone by myself. Once a lady was shooting up (she told me it was for diabetes -- i was like 8) and was real nice to me. She told me to tell my dad she needed a ride. You can figure what was up with that. I was mad at him the rest of the day for not giving a ride to the nice lady with diabetes. Today biological men are legally allowed to go into the ladies room by merely declaring the 'feel like a woman.' Little girls with single dads are in more danger than ever.
@@a.wanderer5006 sorry you had to see that at such a young age. You are right this world is messed up. They opened up a can of hell allowing men to use women restroom all they have to do is declare they are a woman smh. It’s not safe for little boys inn bathrooms either never know what sick perv is in there.
Please be kind with the comments being made here, as we don't know if any of Peter's children are reading these comments. We don't want our words to puncture the hearts of others.
The colour is turquoise I'm happy to meet this family..I'm a new subscriber watching from Barbados 🇧🇧. Keep the good work up Peter. Love and blessings 💝
He said he has sisters. I could imagine if their mother gets the girls back, Zay will want to move back with his mother so he can be near his sisters. I just really hope he will have a good home there. Peter sure loves these kids and Zay would be leaving a loving, stable home.
I think he is going to live with his mom. I will miss him .I'm happy for him and sad he will be leaving. What a blessing he has been to you and I know he will be a blessing to his mom.
I am so happy to see Zay back at home with you Peter and your beautiful family. Whatever Zay’s announcement is I pray God is always with Him. Deep down, I hope he stays with Peter, he is apart of your family 🥰
I’m so in love with this whole family and feel so attached to them as if I’m part of their family. I’m so happy to see Zay come back home again bc we (his online family) missed him so much while he was away but I don’t know if my heart can take him moving away from them if that is his announcement next week. I’m already sad to think we won’t see him again 😢❤️
Well I was happy to see that Zay came home however it sounds like Zay is going to be telling us goodbye forever w/the announcement he’s making, I hope and pray, if that’s the case, that being w/his mother full-time turns out well for him bc it can be devastating to be let down, if his mom falters. Prayers, love and good vibes, I want all things good for you all♥️💫✨👼🏻✨💫♥️
I know everyone is worried about Zay, but we need to respect that he needs to make this decision and support his choice. Some people DO change. I hope that in his case, and every child’s really, that this is true. I wish you the best Zay, and you always have a home to come back to. We love you Zay❤️❤️❤️
To feel safe you need to give her time to show what she says and what she does aligns. Then you make yourself more available to her. Healthy boundaries, mutual respect are very important. Talk is cheap. Action is real.
Ooooh NOOOO Zay, please please stay as mindful has you have been since being with Peter, he's such a GREAT FATHER AND HUMANBEING. Please be careful trusting her....I know you love her and your blood siblings, but your a young man now, you have a family that lives you 💯% already. Please please TAKE YOUR TIME AND REALLY EVALUATE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR MOTHER.🧐🤔🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❣️
Zay visit your mum love her. But stick with your foster dad he loves you and will ensure you get a stable life and education. It's tempting to do that but you will end up better in life with a stable father.💥💥
Zay, I can tell that you have a beautiful heart, be with the people that make you happy, make you a better person, find good friends. That is the power you have. I will pray for you all.
Hi Peter, I imagine this must be difficult but I just want to encourage you. You are a true inspiration and you are making a world of difference in the lives of these children. I hope Zay will have wisdom and I hope you will be strengthened to have patience and understanding as he goes on this journey. Thank you for sharing your adventure and your heart with us 💗
Zay's mother shouldn't be putting him under this emotional pressure. She can return to his life but over time and as a guest not a provider. He needs the stability and nurturing that Peter and family provide.
Wow I love how they are so concerned about the dogs, and little miss is so cool, love her confidence and the way she strokes her hair. 🤣🤣 they got many questions you are so patient with them 😇
I was eager to know how Zays visit went. I hope you can help him to think about setting a goal like maybe one year before he allows himself to even entertain the thought of going to live with his mom. Keep it as visiting maybe once every 2 or 3 months, and maybe oncecevery 2 or 3 months his siblings could come visit for a few days at your home. Zay has a stable family environment now. He has grown through his healing where he is at home now. I also think Zay would benefit from professional councelling or group therapy so he can listen and share with others that have gone through some of his same experiences in his prior home life. Alanon for teens may be a good fit for him for group therapy. I feel it is dangerous for him as a person with feelings and emotions to go back to a situation that could turn sour at any moment. His mom and himself can heal their relationship without living under the same roof. She still has allot of sobriety to maintain and she always will. Zay receives and gives so much to the family and he has developed trust within this family structure. Please help him to be cautious and step on the breaks of any thoughts of returning to live with his mom.
So sad to see Zay go. We pray that he will have a great life. Peter and Anthony did an amazing job of showing him lots of love. We could see a wonderful change in his personality as he continued with you. Love will always lead him back home. I love the fact that Peter has chosen to leaven the door open for him. He knows where he is loved and known. In time he will return.
Zay I am so in awe of you, it took me years to forgive. I love your heart and I am so glad you are back!!!!!!! Zay and Anthony, you are going to amazing men and Dads and and and and...
You are an amazing Father to us all. And because of you all your babies and children know that they are known and most special. You give me hope to do better everyday
There is really nothing else I can add to the comments since I agree with the majority of them. I do see red flags. Life is all about choices and consequences. I hope Zay makes good choices and is happy.
Zay, I have watched you grow and you have grown to become a great young man. I hope you make a choice that you are happy about in the end. I will, however, advise you Peter, that if you start noticing him behaving strangely and not going to be a good example to the remaining kids in the family, he needs to leave. Everyone is talking about Zay but the other children are important too especially the young ones. They may think it's okay to do what he is doing. Children's mind is a blank slate. They become what they see, hear and experience. If he doesn't appreciate and mimics what you want for your children. It's better he goes to his mom. I wish you the very best Zay whatever it is.
Ms, you sound very negative and dismissive. That’s not empathy. If you have nothing positive to add to this family, switch off! How dare you tell Peter to send him to his mom if he behaves strangely? Do you know what it takes to be a parent? You don’t cart your children off once things go wrong! That’s when you show love and support! I hope you have no kids living under your roof with that attitude? Seems you’ve learnt nothing about empathy from Peter! Go sit down! Typical Naija woman 🙄
Bin waiting to see zae come back home🥰I think next week is going to be very sad I got a feeling we are going to be saying goodbye once again 😢 if this is the case I pray he will be ok🥺🥰
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As the daughter of an addict, Zay, please be careful. I spent my entire life (40 yrs) going through this same thing. The state taking us away because of my moms addiction, court ordering rehabs, mom getting sober and eventually relapsing. Eventually my dad was awarded full custody and my life got better but i still dealt with my moms addictions and the constant disappointment that comes with that. Ive given her so many chances to be in my life, countless and even when she was sober she would slick be passive aggressive and degrade me with what she said to me as if her addictions were my fault. Of course every case isnt the same. And u should definitely give your mom the chance and ALWAYS love and support her through her sobriety but please DO NOT take on her problems as your own. You're an individual and none of it is your fault. Protect yourself and your peace. You are loved. Children of addicts have a high chance of becoming addicts themselves and that is the worst thing. Please, please Protect yourself and focus on YOUR goals. Always love your mom and pay attention. I see something in your eyes i recognize, when u were talking about your mother. I know and i see you. Stay focused my guy. A relationship with your mother doesn't define you as a human or make u more or less valuable. You have to protect YOU.
@Pepper Sprout, very good advice, sorry for all you went through. Our two adopted children had a mom who put drug use and abusive relationships before her kids. She never showed up to court and relapsed often. Then she showed up to fight against losing her parental rights. WHAT??? Also had a foster child whose mom had drug addiction issues. After a year with us she was sent back to her mom. When I reconnected years later, I was heartbroken at the story she told me of went on in her high school years. Just an appalling situation.
Zay is safe and loved where he is. He sounds like he’s on the right path. The story of the ring ($400) was a warning for me. After all that time of not seeing or providing for her child but she buys an expensive piece of jewelry for him? It looked like a wedding ring too. Hope he’s not disappointed again. But he is of age now and is allowed to make his own choices. I hope he rests safely under Peter’s love and protection though!
As an addict in recovery 10+ years… I’ve seen peers & specialists in my work relapse after long extended periods of times & it scares me 🤦🏼♀️ I’m sure Virginia seems appealing & she’s giving him maybe a little more freedom but that’s scary.
@@cindland Yeah, that ring is Sus I don't think it was from his Mom or cost that much I saw the same ring on Amazon for 25 dollars. Some Ppl also steal from others and say it came from them. My foster brother bought me and my mom jewelry for mothers day he had stolen and we found out later when his girlfriend's mom called and said her jewelry was missing
@@HughMadBro Yeah, I think he is going for the freedom because Peter doesn't play that and I feel like he wants to do whatever he wants and Peter has rules and if u can't follow them he said before then you have to move on. I also feel he is saying he is moving with his friend but he will end up with his Mom. They always end up back with these parents no matter what u do for them. I'm from a family who had fostered so many kids and they always end up back with their parents or in a relationship
@@HughMadBro I'm proud of you remember you got this!!!
I love how concerned the little girl was about the dogs. She knows they can’t be left alone all day without someone letting them out to pee. Bless her heart for caring.
Good observation from you. I'm sure dad must have arranged for the neighbours or someone to check on them. He's a loving and caring person who wants the best for all. That's why I think he must have an arrangement. My dog can stay home for max 5 hours sleeping. The rest of the 3 hours my neighbour will pick him up for a walk and stay at her place to have a playdate with her two other dogs. They have to sleep too while no one is home. This video is too short for long details I guess. His focus was on his son, Zay.
I noticed it too. Peter has restored normalcy in the minds of these children. They’re compassionate and thoughtful.
The way Zay acts with the younger children really shows how caring and the type of person he is. I really hope that his birthmom doesn't fail him again now that they have reconnected
Exactly 💕 Zay is a good son, God bless him 🙏🏻
Me to and he should always keep in touch with him because he took care of them 🕺🏿❤️🕺🏿❤️🕺🏿❤️
I love these three especially Anthony. There’s something about him. Though he’s happy now there’s that expression on his face. I wish him a lifetime of happiness and peace.
As someone connected to the field of social work, I think Jay should take his time with his Mom. Take things slow Zay because really there is no reason for you to rush, you have a safe home with a family who loves you.
The mother is a big liar and is disrupting the home. She hasn’t change but he has. Look at his hair. Why would she approve him looking like that and saying she is cleaned. She remind me of my foster/adoptive kids parent. They go to court with all their lies and the case worker reads the report with failed drug test, arrest, and living wherever she can lay her head. He needs to contact the caseworker about the phone calls which I’m sure he has. His attitude has changed and his apparel. He didn’t hug his father. Hope he don’t run away.
@@lindadrinks-johnson1904 the fact that he was working with her boss was a read flag to me. First time she has seen him in years, and she has him working. I'm sure that the mother is filling his head with lies. This is far too common with kids in foster care, who have aged out. Peter is a MUCH better role model.
I thought his mother had arranged for fun things to do ?? Not working for her boss !
Yeah the situation makes me feel uncomfortable and Zay’s attitude toward the family seems to have changed. I hate making assumptions because it’s not my life but something in my heart just makes me uneasy about how she had him for only a short time and is having him work and talking about all of these grandiose plans. I just feel like after so many years they should be taking time to get to know each other again and going through the process of rebuilding a relationship before jumping into anything serious
@@lindadrinks-johnson1904 slow down and think before you speak. Zay doesn't need to hear your opinions and or judgement..
Zay... If you're reading these comments, please know that both the positive ones and the cautious ones regarding your mom all come from from those who have followed your journey and care. They are all emotionally invested in your story and mean well from both perspectives. I don't believe that any of the comments are being made to make you feel bad about your mom. I think the best advice that has come from both perspectives is to just take things slow. That is sound advice for all situations you'll face in life.
Amazing comment 💝 You are absolutely right. Well wishers on this panel advicing him from their experiences.
💯 ❤
It warms my soul that Zay was fortunate to reconnect with his mom. But I hope he doesn't let all these new emotions cause him to make quick life changing decisions. Take it slow.
You have a beautifully decorated home filled with love for these children
As someone who worked with foster kids for years, they are very loyal to their birth parents no matter what (or how great the foster parents are). They tend to romanticize reuniting with their BP and will believe the parent has changed despite being disappointed by them many times. I wish Zay well during this emotional rollercoaster period.
Very true, no matter how terrible they are.
True. That's why the children are easily hurt....
that is so true my step brother was the same way until he was an adult.and old enough to make his own decisions and he went to try and move in with his mom and she wanted money he came to my mom and my mom told him come on honey your gonna live here finish school not pay a dime and then graduate and well see from there if you go on to more school or work and my mom at this point was no longer with his dad for about 5 years but he is still my brother to this day and he still calls my mom mom and is at every family function lol..very bad things happened to him when he was little with his mom and in foster care he said he knew and finally felt safe when he got to us and still knows that even as a grown man we will and always will have his back shoot that's our baby brother lol... always will be even if hes a grown man haha..
I hope he is able to come back if it doesn’t work out 😂😭
Came to read the comments before watching the video. Sounds like Zay had a wonderful time with his mother and may want to go live with her. That sounds warning bells for me. I met my biological mother as a young adult when I took a 3 week vacation to meet and get to know my biological siblings. She and her husband rolled out the red carpet for me and treated me like royalty... right up until the day her husband made a move on me. Afterwards it was so obvious that she was involved in setting me up (for the sake of brevity I'm leaving a lot out.) Even after that occurred, they tried to talk me into moving to go live with them! After my trip I tried to call my mother cause I still wanted a relationship with her, but I refused to talk to her husband. She told me if I wouldn't talk to her husband she wanted nothing to do with me. She hung up on me and never talked to me again until I went to see her on her deathbed when she was barely able to talk.
It's devastating when those who are supposed to love you put on an act to gain your trust and then their true colors come out. I know it doesn't always work out this way but there's a reason they didn't raise us. Maybe they have changed but sometimes that change is only surface deep.
Please move slowly, Zay, and don't rush into any major life changes. I know it's hard cause everyone craves love from their biological parent. But not all biological parents are capable of real maternal or paternal love. Maybe just work on developing a relationship from a distance rather than moving to live with them. Take your time, proceed with caution and don't let yourself get so caught up in the dream that you miss the red flags and warning bells. Sometimes it really is too good to be true.
I was thinking the same thing! Give it time! Things are not always what they semes!!
Agree, You are Brave, I wish all good things in life.
Just what I was thinking. Peter should encourage Zay to read your comment.
Thank you for being honest. I’m a foster/adopt mom and also had a Group Home for 20 years. I know what happens when these children go home for weekend visits and reunite with their parents. They don’t talk about it to their foster parent or social workers. He lied about his mother being clean and having a good time. I suspect he leaving that clean home with three meals daily to live in the slump. He’s going to get in trouble.
@@lindadrinks-johnson1904 maybe the reason they don't talk about it to foster parents and social workers is that they cannot be trusted. There's a lot of people in the system who shouldn't be entrusted with animals let alone children. And there are far too many who really don't care or have grown cold, cynical and critical. Precious few adults can be trusted enough for a child to open up their heart to, especially for something so intimately personal and deeply painful.
Zay looks like he had a lot on his mind
Oh dear.
I can understand why Zay would want to give his mother the benefit of the doubt, esp as she wants to try to make up for lost time.
BUT, ....... there are many warning signs:
1) having Zay work for the mother's boss outside in the heat, as they try to reconnect.
2) expensive wedding-look ring, for someone aged 19???
3) the dyed hair
Thank goodness Zay has a permanent home. Whatever happens, Zay will always have a home with Peter and family: solid, honest and dependable
I think the same. Zay seems quite devastating to be honest after this trip... Much more sad....he needs to be supported, he can't support his mother.
It was so sweet to hear the little ones say that Zay is the one that made them feel welcome and part of the family.
OMG little mama was SO concerned about the dogs 😭😭 Nothing gets by this girl 😭😭
tell me, they are my police 😍😝❤
And she wasn’t wrong 😑
@@ciarasutton5203 yep, my neighbors used to pay me like $3 a week when I was a little rugrat (8 or 9) to come feed and walk the dogs everyday when they were on vacation, do people not do things like that anymore?
@@a.wanderer5006 I live in Sweden. Here it is illegal to leave a dog for more than 4 hours without ‘attention’ and max 6 hours a day on their own!
@@ciarasutton5203 oh wow, that’s really cool to hear that there is a law in Sweden that looks out for the animals livelihood 🙏🏽
If I haven’t seen my child in years I would be spending quality time with him so I could get to know him and connect with him. Having him work for the boss is no quality time spent. Also purchasing a 400-500 dollar ring, really? Is that quality time, he doesn’t need things but unconditional love and time together. Money and things cannot buy love and time together. Zay has a beautiful’ loving, trusting, kind, empathetic spirit. Peter May you be continually blessed, protected, wisdom filled, patient, kind, caring, you are loved to your children and us you subscribers .You wear your heart on you sleeves. Continue to be a light in this darkened world, you are loved and known ❤️ ❤️
We can't assume that she could take time off work to be with Zay. It may be that Zay working for her boss was a way she could see him more during the day. But, I agree, buying the expensive ring seems to speak to her judgement being off. Wouldn't that money be better spent putting it toward him furthering his education, for example? As a former foster kid, he should qualify for educational financial assistance, too. He's such bright kid, I hope that's something he will pursue.
We do have to remember Zay is now an adult, and therefore can go to his mom’s if he wants, and if things don’t work out right, he knows he does have Peter to fall back on. That he has somewhere safe if needed.
I never understood the law that u are adult when you are 18. Literally a teenager. But maybe thats just my thoughts
From most of our experience, we know 18-20 year olds are often nowhere near being adults. I know this comment is a year late. I just wish all kids needing homes, could be adopted or fostered up to age 20 or so. It makes a big difference. They need to get started on college, trades or jobs and that can take a couple years for them to get the hang of it, especially if their past was so difficult.
Everyone - we are ALL a bit concerned. I don't want to see Zay go - I know in Peter's care, he's thriving and safe. But, we don't know the circumstances. I for one would like to think maybe she's changed, as he says. Again, I know we all have concerns because we love Zay. But remember this - his Mom is reading this. Zay is reading this. Peter is reading this. Peter is a smart man. Please don't hurt Zay with your words. We can all have concerns but expect the best out of people. And, if he does move to his Mom's, which I suspect he is going to do, he has a home with Peter and Anthony. He knows that. And Zay, if you are reading this, if you do move to be with your Mom, please don't let pride or fear get in your way. If you need to call Peter to come get you, do so immediately. We all want the best for you, because we care about you.
So true. Parenting is not an easy thing, Peter has God given skills and enough love and resources. I want him to stay but he's not Zay's mom or dad. I just want Zay to wait and take some time and I hope he is announcing that he decided to stay with Peter and feels that his mom needs more time to thrive, change and grow.
No matter what they is almost 19 and have to experience this transition.
Peter had to let him go and make his own decisions because there's other kids who Peter can look after and care for it's sad but it's life it's a system
Idk if u would care to here this but me and my friend are actually two of the few people who never cared for zay
P
When he said she was doing all she can to get him & his sisters back, then tighten his lips together & cast his eyes down to the right, said a lot to me. I hope he stays were he is & continues his education. He will have more time later as a young adult to grow a relationship with her.
His body language in this video was quite interesting...
I've seen this so much with my parents having so many foster kids and they always think they know more than they want to come back but by then it's too late and someone else had moved in. They end up making ruff on themselves but they learn from their mistakes and I pray Zay has learned what Peter has taught him about Real Estate and that Peter doesn't give into the calls of when they only call when they need something. That will start and Peter will have to set boundaries. I'm saying this because I saw the last video of him moving out
@@TeesReddRose 👍💯Peter is a kind and loving Dad.
Other visits with Zay's Mom should take place. Zay shouldn't make a hasty decision based on this visit. Is there a reason for his Mom buying him that expensive for ring? I am a bit skeptical but I wish all the best for him. 😊😊😊😊
I truly hope he had a good time but my heart is sooo freakin happy he’s coming home! ♥️
we were so happy to see him
@@FosterDadFlipper I believe it! :)
@@FosterDadFlipper happy he's back but how r u today??
Zay looks sad
@@Likeusloveus how and why?
Zay’s hair is cool but Anthony has the best hair hands-down
😍❤😝
i agree, Anthony's hair is just naturally beautiful😍
Anthony is definite hair goals.
Anthony cracks me up, he's like no big deal, I could have stayed home..until I-hop was mentioned lol
My fear for Zay is that his mother bought that ring in front of him to buy his love and loyalty. I have seen it before when I was in foster care many times. Zay, please take it slowly. Peter, I hope if his plans are to move with his mother, that if it does not work out, you will always have your door open for him
I thought the same thing and Zay seemed so happy about his ring. This is the honeymoon phase for him and his mom and I would not be surprised if he moves in with his mom and help her get his sister. Zay was pretty clear on what his mom had told him. I think she is putting pressure on him to get his sister and taking care of his mom.
I hope Peter say nope once you leave it’s no coming back but you can visit! If your not on drugs and not trying rob him! But I know Peter wouldn’t do that he will let Zay back in I wouldn’t though because he’s grown now!
Happy he returned home. But the feeling I get is that he plans on going to live with her full time. That breaks me heart. I know all too well how these things can spiral out of control. For his sake, I hope it works out. You keep providing a stable that homelife, Peter! Zay can always come back home. Fingers crossed for you and the kids.
Yes, thank God Zay will always be welcome back in Peter's home if he moves in with his mother full time and it doesn't work out.
If Peter has room for him. He may foster another child if Zay leaves as he will have the room
Zay needs to be very careful. Promises are easy to make especially when you are not doing the day to day parenting, and is so hard for a child desperate to bond and be loved by their parent, to understand how seldom relationships with children returning to estranged parents are successful. Besides, biology does not make you a parent. A parent is someone who is there day and night, feeding, loving, housing, guiding, reprimanding, encouraging, nursing, clothing, listening ... the hundreds of thousands of things that children need but take for granted.
Aww I wish people wouldn’t make negative comments about this boy’s mom. He could read these comments and that’s hurtful.
Yes, he has a stable life with Peter. And we all wish these kids continued stability. But he also has to make his own decisions and learn from those.
If he decides to leave it may not go well but that’s something he has to figure out. We can’t insulate children from pain or from all the consequences of their decisions. And perhaps things will go well! Here’s hoping.
No one is putting down his mother. We don't know her but we do know from life experiences the potential dangers ahead. As one who has been there, it is devastating when the dream shatters and you find out they were just putting on a face to get you to trust them and then they betray that trust. It leaves permanent scars. I never got over being deceived by my biological mother. So no, I won't not warn him not to move fast and make any life changing decisions out of emotions and desire for parental love.
Zay, please move slow you can still stay at Peter while you built a relationship with your mom.
Peter please keep your door open for Zay.
Was so delighted to see the littles when they saw Zay! I have a feeling he may be announcing he is going with his mom. I know God will be with him either way and he has a safe place to go if things do not work out. God bless you all, Peter!🥰
You think it’s so easy like that to go spoil yourself and come back to polute the innocent ones left there.
@@Lordhavemercy410 something the matter with your brain. Get checked out. Seek help.
Thanks for pouring in lots of love and stability into your kids.
I don't like when videos lead you to believe one thing, but it ends up being something else entirely. But I truly hope that's what Peter was doing at the end of the video! LOL. I'm sure it was wonderful for Zay to spend a few days with his Mom after so long. But it's a whole different thing to live there permanently. I just hope he isn't getting caught up in the excitement of seeing her again. A few days isn't enough upon which to base such a life-altering decision.
Peter and the other kids have provided a loving, stable and safe space for Zay, one that he can count on no matter what. I truly wish good things for his Mom, but I don't think she can provide that same type of guaranteed stability. If he truly is thinking of leaving Peter, I hope he takes some time to seriously think about that decision and all the ramifications of it. We all have a soft spot in our hearts for our Mom, regardless of the history. But sometimes it's important to put yourself and your needs first.
I’m sure he’s been thinking about it the whole time, which is fine. I knew he was leaving when he refused to get adopted. He used a diplomatic reason to explain his refusal, which is smart, but I could tell he didn’t want to stay in Peter’s house permanently. What he feels (missing his mom) is completely normal, though. So I wish him well.
@@PatrickEvina4891 I see what you're saying but the dudes right you do need to put yourself in your needs first idk if he'll stay but to each their own is all I know what to say
@@PatrickEvina4891 my thoughts exactly when i heard why he chose not to get adopted! he knew it wasn't permanent all along, which i think is totally fine + normal, especially given his background.
i think he wants to be near his mom. + he's taking that chance. there's also probably a bit of....overcompensating happening on the mom's end (eg. the ring she bought him, new hair color.) which is making this option a three more appealing.
i think he'll be just fine! wish him the best.
The little ones were so happy to see him. I know the entire family missed him.
I don't know about the system in the States. In Canada, if a foster child continues their education they are supported for a few more years. Zay clearly loves and misses his mom and sisters. I hope he continues his education and follows his dreams. That he doesn't lose the financial support to go to school if he chooses to live with his mom. If I were him, I'd keep going to school, keep in touch with his mom, and visit her once a month or so to keep the connection. I wish him the best.
We all want only the best for Zay. The decision will ultimately be his alone to make. Peter will always be there with open arms for all his children. He is a man of commitment and faith. The children are so blessed to have been placed in his care 💕
Yes they are.
Do not jump ship Zay. Go slowly. It has been several years since you have seen her. Go SLOWLY. She must prove herself to you. Glad you are back HOME with Peter, Anthony & the kids.
I think we all felt it that the writing was on the wall for Zay. Then comes the honeymoon and then like someone stated in the chat, then you still see the same thing as you were younger. I truly wish the best for Zay, he is an amazing human being and if he ever choose to do so, he will be a great dad. Peter watching you and your kids on your world trip and the restaurant was such a joy to watch. You may have taken parenting courses, but if someone is lacking parental skills, love won’t be enough for these kids and their safety is in jeopardy. Zay, you were greatly missed not only with your own family nd those cute kiddos. I truly wish that if you do decide to move, I wish you the very best in life. 💕
At home, with Peter, is the best place for you Zay. Welcome home. Glad you enjoyed your time with your mother.
The love Zay has for his mom is pure and my prayers go for the best for both of them.
No matter what, Zay is welcome to Peter's home coz that's what family is.
May the Lord bless and bring joy to the heart of this young man. There's some sadness in his eyes 😢... You're brave, you're accepted *You're loved by your heavenly father* He loves you more than your own family!!!
The red flags started flying in my head when I saw Zay with that ring she bought him. It screamed she’s just buying his affection. She could’ve paid for a game design coding class for him with that money. Instead, she got him something shiny. All of that he worked for her boss made my stomach churn.
Be careful Zay. Just because someone gave birth to you doesn’t make them a parent. It’s like your dad said, sometimes it’s better to get closure from a distance. This is one of those times. Besides, your siblings (including Samba and Rafriki) and dad really love you, care for you, have your best interests at heart and missed you.
I agree with you. Zay seem a bit different first his hair. Peter didn't get a hug. Then he goes on and talk about $400 ring. It seem like he didn't want go back to Peter's house if that was the case he should've stay with mom. Not come back for a few days just to announce that he's moving back with his mom.
I think it’s just a really difficult situation when you’re that conflicted. I think that the mother has the hardest work to do now more so than before she became “clean” as Zay said.
In my culture, we have a saying, ‘if you’re used to being around thrives, you will continually walk around with your hand on your wallet even if you start hanging around the most honest monk-like people on the earth. It’s reflexive and unconscious.’ Similarly, once you’re an addict, you will always be an addict, no matter how long your sobriety is. The OCD you develop chasing your next thrill is still there, and will always manifest itself in other aspects of your life.
I’m an addict. I’ve been sober for over a decade. I don’t even drink coffee anymore. But my OCD does cause me to relapse. My relapses are always worst when I’ve lost control of my behaviors not of what specific addition I partake in. Worst than that, my OCD is often manifested in ways that are just entirely unhealthy, like in my stubborn behaviors that have nothing to do with my addiction.
For example, I’m so disciplined that if I say I’m going to do something, especially for someone, I do it. I not only get it done, I get it done by the time I say I’m going to get it done. If I don’t do it, it’s usually because of a factor outside of my control. But the bad part of that, is that I’ll spend 48 and often 72 hours straight, in one spot just working, with no sleep, no food, no bathroom breaks. Nothing. Trying to recuperate from that kind of binge has set me back long time, years even. I know how to manage my time. I just don’t because my compulsiveness takes over.
I try channeling them into healthier activities but I’m human.
I say all of this because I’m sensing similar behavioral pattern’s in Zay’s Mother.
I can see her addiction based OCD manifesting in other aspects of her life. My gut feeling tells me that she’s a loving woman who wants to please everyone around her, which was probably a greater, if not the greatest, contributing factor in her addiction in the first place.
Being a nurse, she wants to take care of her kids and catch up on all of the time she missed out of; and she’s doing that to both her own and her kiss detriments; and she’s not able to see that.
I know Zay wants to work and likes nice and expensive things. But as a parent, you have to learn when to let your kids earn things, when to teach them about hard work and when to enjoy your time with them.
After not seeing your son for so long, why would let him go spend that much time with your boss, of all people, even if he was working? Why not get to know him? I don’t have any kids as I haven’t adopted any yet. But I don’t see myself letting my children, especially teens like Zay, go work after not seeing them in over 4 years. That just doesn’t make any sense to me.
I think Zay didn’t hug his dad right away because he was just probably overwhelmed with happiness from seeing his family after having been away for such a long time. I hope Zay goes to college internationally or as far away from both his mother and his dad. I think he should go to California or NY or Boston for college.
I do empathize with Zay though on his hesitant to fully let his guards down and feel like a part of his family in NC. Not only has he been let down every time he’s done that in the past. But I’ve also witness some gut wrenching moments from watching these videos of the way his dad acts, even though I’m sure Peter is oblivious to the negative effects he is causing. I hope Peter will leave this comment even I’m sure it’s not the easiest thing in the world to be receptive to feedback, even positive ones.
The hair is a non-issue. If that’s all he’d done while he was there, I would’ve been OK with the idea of him moving to live with his mother. But that $400-$500 ring and that while working for her boss thing, gave me pause for concern.
@Jeniece Collazo
@@alicetheegreetIt's ok for Zay to move with his mother. Peter took care of him all this time a hug would have been nice. The vibe I got from the her buying the ring was she buying affection. Its like she's saying to him if you come home I can buy you this and more. $500 on ring is a bit ridiculous. I feel like his mom might be lying to him. He's though been so much in his life. If he gets hurt that would be very sad. I understand the love he has for his mom but he needs to be careful because most promises are broken.
Zay should have stood with his mom if he didn't want to come back. He doesn't need to make a video about leaving . I'm sure Zay can stay in contact with Peter. He come visit Peter anytime.
Peter is his *DAD*. The only reason his dad hasn’t adopted him yet, which I whole heartedly support, is for Zay to be able to afford college. If his Dad officially adopted him like they both wanted when he turned 18, his dad would be responsible for his entire tuition, which will be very expensive for what Zay wants to study, especially since Zay wants to go to grad school as well.
Zay was removed from his biological situation because of neglect and probably violence as well. Zay talked about how he used to take care of himself and his younger biological sister before getting put in foster care. I see him doing exactly that again and becoming that parent again if he moves with that lady who gave birth to him.
For him to leave his dad and his other siblings just to go back to the birthing lady, would impact him negatively. If Zay wants to visit that birthing lady, he should do so during the holidays. Maybe he can spend a week or two after summer break from college with her before going home to spend the rest of the time with his family.
Yeah, I agree with you about the hug. I just don’t think it’s that important in the grand scheme of things.
@Jeniece Collazo
It’s difficult for anyone to understand the dilemma Zay has going on in his head. The emotional attachment with his mother is very strong. Zay may decide to move back with his mother and if that is what he needs right now, I know you will support him.
He knows he has a father in you forever 🌈
Zay and the kids holding hands is just so sweet 🥰
24 year foster mom and adoptive mom to seven. Felt like he would want to reunite with mom. I have seen this scenario repeatedly over the last 30 years or so. Unfortuneately only once was it even remotely successful. Love your family, visit, call but go very slow on living together.
Thank you for your insight 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yep it's 'roll out the red carpet' before the cycle repeats. Addict parents, kids being parentified, yuck.
Zay is so sweet to the little ones
My grandmother Mia from Japan worked at IHOP tell she was 87 years old she died at the beginning of the pandemic but she was a good grandmother adopted yes but not any less of a grandma she we amazing because she excepted me and that ment the world to me
Z’s announcement is obviously going back home. I wish he wouldn’t. His mom buying him expensive gifts can be alluring to a child, but it tells me that she doesn’t have her priorities straight because kids don’t need $500 rings and that gift is manipulative. If he leaves, I hope Peter leaves room for him to come back, because z will soon find out the truth after he goes back.
The ring sounds like something she'd want for herself.
Everyone adores Zay ,he's a lovely ,caring and a handsome young man. It will be sad if he leaves the family full time but he has to try for himself to see if it works full time with his mom ...thinking of you zay ❤..love to your mom too ❤
Zay had no luggage on his way back, looks like he's only coming back to pick-up the rest of his stuff to take to his moms. So glad he had a great time but I'm sad to see him leave :(
Did he have great time? He
doesn't seem happy at all ...
Zay, I'm happy you had a good time at your mother's! It's good to see the family back together again! Peter, if you keep stopping for drinks and snacks - then you have to keep stopping to use the washrooms - it's a viscous cycle! lol May your family continue to be blessed! Lots of Love, Jaden
😁😁😁
This is him family and he Do what his want and to do take care of your
@@castillotati1924 his do what his want and to do and now in English please?
I hope Zay is not leaving! The younger ones really love him and he really loves them. I will absolutely cry if thats the announcement. I am also so happy that his mom is doing the work to get them back..So torn..
Your sweet girl is a talker and she seems like a little girlie girl lol. They both love you so much and they know that they are safe and loved. Thank you for having so much patience and love for them.
I hope Zay is seeing, or will find a good therapist to help him deal with all these big emotions. Lots of red flags after hearing about the trip to see his mom and Peter did a great job of keeping things positive. I’m sure that “off camera” Peter is helping Zay process the time with his mom. Zay, if you are reading this, please know that you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. You seem like a smart young man and you know deep down what the smart decision is. This is just my advice, but I would suggest that you find a therapist that you can talk through all this with.
Helo Peter , as I told you when you brought Zay at the bus station to see her mother, my mind is correct that he is coming home. He felt a family in you, your trust, and all the kids who love him. Am happy for him coming to the right place and family. God bless you more Peter.
I really hope he stays put but wishing him all the best.
The little kids concern about the dogs was so cute. Whether it was related to their own life memories or not, they recognized that the dogs are dependent on people in the household for their care.
I really pray that Zay stays with Peter. Peter, I am not sure if you did but when baby girl goes to the public restroom stay close by the door and a listening ear you never know who could be in there.
Agreed my husband does a quick peek inside the door before our daughter goes in then he stands right outside the restroom door until she is done
I was raised by a single dad too and had to use the bathroom alone by myself. Once a lady was shooting up (she told me it was for diabetes -- i was like 8) and was real nice to me. She told me to tell my dad she needed a ride. You can figure what was up with that. I was mad at him the rest of the day for not giving a ride to the nice lady with diabetes.
Today biological men are legally allowed to go into the ladies room by merely declaring the 'feel like a woman.'
Little girls with single dads are in more danger than ever.
@@tanyatanya8325 that’s good to know. I really worry about children today and their safety.
@@a.wanderer5006 sorry you had to see that at such a young age. You are right this world is messed up. They opened up a can of hell allowing men to use women restroom all they have to do is declare they are a woman smh. It’s not safe for little boys inn bathrooms either never know what sick perv is in there.
Please be kind with the comments being made here, as we don't know if any of Peter's children are reading these comments. We don't want our words to puncture the hearts of others.
The colour is turquoise
I'm happy to meet this family..I'm a new subscriber watching from Barbados 🇧🇧.
Keep the good work up Peter. Love and blessings 💝
welcome to family
Thank you 😊
Awesome. Im watching from St. Croix, Vrgin Islands
Just few days at his mom and his hair is blue. Thank God he's back.
thank you
Cherry Lin my thoughts exactly 💯, Peter let Zak know, that whatever, home is always with you his dad Pete, and the family Yes!
I mean, well lets hope for positivity. But ewu😹
He said he has sisters. I could imagine if their mother gets the girls back, Zay will want to move back with his mother so he can be near his sisters. I just really hope he will have a good home there. Peter sure loves these kids and Zay would be leaving a loving, stable home.
@@XollyLee 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Love anthony cause his such a good kid.
I think he is going to live with his mom. I will miss him .I'm happy for him and sad he will be leaving. What a blessing he has been to you and I know he will be a blessing to his mom.
I am so happy to see Zay back at home with you Peter and your beautiful family. Whatever Zay’s announcement is I pray God is always with Him. Deep down, I hope he stays with Peter, he is apart of your family 🥰
I hope Say says, but I have this feeling.....Anthony is kind of serious, well trained, and well brought up. Good job Peter.
I’m so in love with this whole family and feel so attached to them as if I’m part of their family. I’m so happy to see Zay come back home again bc we (his online family) missed him so much while he was away but I don’t know if my heart can take him moving away from them if that is his announcement next week. I’m already sad to think we won’t see him again 😢❤️
Well I was happy to see that Zay came home however it sounds like Zay is going to be telling us goodbye forever w/the announcement he’s making, I hope and pray, if that’s the case, that being w/his mother full-time turns out well for him bc it can be devastating to be let down, if his mom falters. Prayers, love and good vibes, I want all things good for you all♥️💫✨👼🏻✨💫♥️
thank you 😭
@@FosterDadFlipper 🙏♥️😇♥️🥰
@Thomas Greg I’m good thank you🙏 I hope you’re well and that you have a great day!
Zay, think clearly and be careful bc you are precious 💕
I know everyone is worried about Zay, but we need to respect that he needs to make this decision and support his choice. Some people DO change. I hope that in his case, and every child’s really, that this is true. I wish you the best Zay, and you always have a home to come back to. We love you Zay❤️❤️❤️
I am so excited and happy to see Zay going back home 🏡. You are a blessed man Peter.
thank you 😍❤
To feel safe you need to give her time to show what she says and what she does aligns. Then you make yourself more available to her. Healthy boundaries, mutual respect are very important. Talk is cheap. Action is real.
I'm so happy Zay is back with you. I know he loves his Mother too but he belongs with your fam!!
Ooooh NOOOO Zay, please please stay as mindful has you have been since being with Peter, he's such a GREAT FATHER AND HUMANBEING. Please be careful trusting her....I know you love her and your blood siblings, but your a young man now, you have a family that lives you 💯% already. Please please TAKE YOUR TIME AND REALLY EVALUATE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR MOTHER.🧐🤔🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❣️
Love how the little ones cuddle up to Zay as soon as they saw him! 😇💞
Sweet how the kids were concerned about the care of the dogs while they are gone.
Zay visit your mum love her. But stick with your foster dad he loves you and will ensure you get a stable life and education. It's tempting to do that but you will end up better in life with a stable father.💥💥
Zay, I can tell that you have a beautiful heart, be with the people that make you happy, make you a better person, find good friends. That is the power you have. I will pray for you all.
Love how your kids are happier 💟 now
Hi Peter, I imagine this must be difficult but I just want to encourage you. You are a true inspiration and you are making a world of difference in the lives of these children. I hope Zay will have wisdom and I hope you will be strengthened to have patience and understanding as he goes on this journey. Thank you for sharing your adventure and your heart with us 💗
Zay's mother shouldn't be putting him under this emotional pressure. She can return to his life but over time and as a guest not a provider. He needs the stability and nurturing that Peter and family provide.
Wow I love how they are so concerned about the dogs, and little miss is so cool, love her confidence and the way she strokes her hair. 🤣🤣 they got many questions you are so patient with them 😇
It's so nice to see how the children getting along with each other Peter you are doing a wonderful job with these children ❤
I was eager to know how Zays visit went. I hope you can help him to think about setting a goal like maybe one year before he allows himself to even entertain the thought of going to live with his mom. Keep it as visiting maybe once every 2 or 3 months, and maybe oncecevery 2 or 3 months his siblings could come visit for a few days at your home. Zay has a stable family environment now. He has grown through his healing where he is at home now. I also think Zay would benefit from professional councelling or group therapy so he can listen and share with others that have gone through some of his same experiences in his prior home life. Alanon for teens may be a good fit for him for group therapy. I feel it is dangerous for him as a person with feelings and emotions to go back to a situation that could turn sour at any moment. His mom and himself can heal their relationship without living under the same roof. She still has allot of sobriety to maintain and she always will. Zay receives and gives so much to the family and he has developed trust within this family structure. Please help him to be cautious and step on the breaks of any thoughts of returning to live with his mom.
The kids really love Zay. They sure missed big brother.
No one watching is actually part of this family and can't provide any guidance as complete strangers. It's great he has you to help him
Peter! You make road-tripping look easy. Glad to see the whole family back together.
zay is so good with the little ones, so nice to see him home❤️
Good dad forever
I hope for the best. I really do. Peace and happiness to you all 🤍
Peter is such a Awesome Man very Handsome as well.
Love how all the kids feel comfortable enough to be themselves. Good job, Dad! ❤️
So sad to see Zay go. We pray that he will have a great life. Peter and Anthony did an amazing job of showing him lots of love. We could see a wonderful change in his personality as he continued with you. Love will always lead him back home. I love the fact that Peter has chosen to leaven the door open for him. He knows where he is loved and known. In time he will return.
Ahh so cute how all Zay's siblings missed him! Such a lovely family! You're doing a great job Peter :)
Zay I am so in awe of you, it took me years to forgive. I love your heart and I am so glad you are back!!!!!!!
Zay and Anthony, you are going to amazing men and Dads and and and and...
I've grown to love y'all so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Getting clean and fixing your mental health is the hardest job you can do respect to his mom!
You are an amazing Father to us all. And because of you all your babies and children know that they are known and most special. You give me hope to do better everyday
There is really nothing else I can add to the comments since I agree with the majority of them. I do see red flags. Life is all about choices and consequences. I hope Zay makes good choices and is happy.
Praying for you Zay for any decision you decide to make.
Great decorating skills Peter, love the way the place is coming together already.
Zay, I have watched you grow and you have grown to become a great young man. I hope you make a choice that you are happy about in the end.
I will, however, advise you Peter, that if you start noticing him behaving strangely and not going to be a good example to the remaining kids in the family, he needs to leave. Everyone is talking about Zay but the other children are important too especially the young ones. They may think it's okay to do what he is doing. Children's mind is a blank slate. They become what they see, hear and experience. If he doesn't appreciate and mimics what you want for your children. It's better he goes to his mom.
I wish you the very best Zay whatever it is.
Ms, you sound very negative and dismissive. That’s not empathy. If you have nothing positive to add to this family, switch off! How dare you tell Peter to send him to his mom if he behaves strangely? Do you know what it takes to be a parent? You don’t cart your children off once things go wrong! That’s when you show love and support! I hope you have no kids living under your roof with that attitude? Seems you’ve learnt nothing about empathy from Peter! Go sit down! Typical Naija woman 🙄
Bin waiting to see zae come back home🥰I think next week is going to be very sad I got a feeling we are going to be saying goodbye once again 😢 if this is the case I pray he will be ok🥺🥰
Wow the way you relate with ur kids it's beautiful..good job peter..you're blessed