My son won't stay in his room to calm down and will keep punching me no matter how politely I tell him it's hurting me. But I probably deserve it and it's a good way of him venting out his anger with me as long as he's not doing it to the other boys. I like the idea of removing triggers, though. I don't tell him no to things anymore and the girls know to give him what he wants now. His confidence is improving a ton, so that's good! Gentle parenting has worked wonders on his shyness and has given him a chance to express his anger instead of bottling it all up.
Amazing love these tips. Thank you so much! 🙏🏾🙏🏾💕 my 2 years old starting this tantrums and starting to hitting. I’m so glad I found your videos. Greatest advice
I saw you on TikTok and I’m in love with everything you’re saying! I have a two year old and am having trouble with this same thing... I’m a single mom and I co parent with my son’s father.... He play “fights” with him and even if I’ve expressed my concerns to him about this it still goes on.... could this affect me trying to change this behavior???
You have to teach him the difference. You can tell if he hits because he wants to play or because he’s upset. I want to share with you a free tool that has helped hundreds of moms with responding to behaviors effectively Https://highimpactclub.com/roadmap
My 14 months old worst time for hitting is when he is playing with his big brother. My oldest son is 11, they're playing nicely. No fighting, his brother is giving him appropriate attention and he will just start smacking him sometimes... Sometimes I think he just knows he will get a response from his bro out of it, but other times I'm not sure... It's not in aggression, my toddler is honestly still playing he just doesn't understand that it can hurt.
Thank you for discussing tantruming safely, I'm generally pretty tolerant, and my child is generally well behaved, but I can and have picked up my daughter from a shopping cart waved an employee to return the items and walked out carrying a screaming child, because it was not a safe place for that, we found a grassy area, I let her calm herself them we problem solved, she needed changed fed and was over stimulated, so clean with a snack into the car seat and home for a nap, the shopping waited and that was ok, she was safe and that was more important, there was no hitting, no screaming, and luckily I could find the grassy space because trying to strap an angry child into a car seat is not only hard but distressing and increases chances of that seat becoming a point of contention later. All this to say that you are allowed to move a child who is in immanent danger of hurting themselves or others without feeling like you are being a brute. I have scene this exact scenario turn into a basically abusive situation with the parent trying to tough it out whispering and finally yelling threats sometimes followed by follow through or cajoling with treats, or doing nothing at all and letting it escalate to the point someone was hurt.
My child doesn’t hit other kids but my boyfriend and I, he doesn’t just do it though because he’s upset he does it when he’s excited and he smiles and think it’s funny. We’re so stuck we don’t know what to do because we give him breaks in the room but nothing changes when he comes out.
That’s excitement aggression. Deep breathing will help your child calm down and not hit. I have a free resource to help you with this learn.marcelacollier.com/free
My 2.5 year old it hitting her 8 month old sister when she gets close to her when she's playing with certain things. Like her playhouse. The baby just wants to play. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment. She doesn't have a separate room. I have very little space. Were comfortable but together all the time. I'm having a hard time with this. I'm here for help. I cannot always keep them separate. She also hits her in the head with toys for fun. She loves the baby and this is a hard age with both of them and for them for separately and together. The household dynamics are shifting with the baby mobile and wanting to play. I'm not handling the hitting correctly. I know I'm not.
I also saw you on tiktok so I found you on here for even more information! This is the exact question I had so thank you for addressing it!!! Do you have another video on how to help a toddler transition from task to task and if not could you make some information either here on on tiktok about that, please? Transitions are tough for my toddler especially when he is tired. I try to validate his feelings and comfort him but I’m not sure what else I should do 🤷🏻♀️
My 2 yo hits every toddler that crosses her path. It doesn't matter where we are as soon as she sees a toddler she just hits them. It is very hard for me to have her around my friends that have toddlers because she will just hit them punch them scratch them bite them or pull their hair. I can't with that behavior anymore
@@HighImpactClub it's been 2 weeks since I wrote this but to better her behavior I have actually came up with a plan. When she hits I go eye level and tell her that hands are to hug and I hug her she has better behaviors.
My child first day of daycare was today and I called to check on her and she’s in time out for hitting and taking toys away. She never acted like this before. But my little sister does those things to my child and push her, my sister is 6 years old.. I’ve been trying to tell my sister my child is just a baby and she doesn’t listen. I wonder how I’m going to solve this because my child never acted like this before.
When he doesn't want to going for naps or to bed and night he sometimes hits and kicks me and my husband. When we try to put him down for bed even if he is tired and falling asleep. He will try to stay awake by clapping or talking.
It sounds like it is just a bedtime tantrum. Ok. I see it. Maybe he lacks independent sleep skills and get nervous to start bedtime. HIC has a sleep workshop to help you end this battle learn.marcelacollier.com/front-offer1628922043219
My husband gently smacks my one year olds hand when he does something wrong. And theres no changing his mind to it so now my son likes to hit for fun or when he is upset. What I do is grab his hand and say in a normal voice dont hit me it hurts me, you wouldn't want me to hit you, because that hurts. And I'm probably not doing it right but
Hi! I fallow your on TikTok and I love your videos. I have a 18 month old baby girl. And she recently started to smack us when she is feeling lots of emotions. Wether it is trying to see if she can eat a bit because she struggles with eating. Or just if she doesn’t like what you are doing to her (cleaning nose, changing Diaper, putting clothes on). I’m a bit concerned when she starts preschool because I can’t control if she does it to someone else. When she’s with us and she does it we have been able to do research and be aware that it is totally normal for her to react that way even though we don’t feel like things are getting better. What is your opinion in my situation?
hello ibeth, my opinion is to recognize her early signs of aggression so she doesn't have to escalate to hitting all the time. The Tantrums workshop will help you stop aggressive tantrums, this is the link learn.marcelacollier.com/sales-page-540652591649468367923
My toddler will be 3 in May and he started to throw tantrums when we come home from my in laws (they watch him while I work) nothings seems to work for me 😔
The main thing is to learn how to desscalate the tantrum before it gets to hitting. I have a tantrums workshop that will teach you how to do it. Here 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/4-steps-stop-tantrums/
How do you deal with siblings hitting that ends up with blood. (My 5 year old hit my 3 year old with a block and my 3 year old ended up bleeding from his bottom lip). Is hard to stay calm in these situation. How would you react/solve this problem? Many thanks xx
One of my twins threw a rock to the other one and made him bleed. I focused on the injured one. Healed him, comforted him. Once he was calm, I talked to the other one.He wasn’t allowed to play in the backyard for the rest of the afternoon where he got the rock, and I taught him empathy. He apologized to his brother and hugged him
Thank you for your advice!! My hardest time with my daughter is getting her to go #2. She's seen her doctor and its believed that she doesn't want to go because its dirty and co stipates herself. She's great at drinking water and so forth. She is an amazing kiddo. Very easy going, but the second she's on that pot and doesnt want to do #2, she turns into the spawn of satan. I've let her try again later and come to me when she has to go, so i don't force her. But after the 5th try again later and her comig to get me to help her, I don't let her get back up. She then acts out intensely. What am I doing wrong?
My 4 year old hits quite a bit and smiles and laughs when doing it. What things can I do to get her to stop hitting or finding it funny? I try to redirect her or talk to her calmly about it but she will hit me again. I’m lost on what to do.
The first thing is to deescalate her behavior so she’s teachable, not defiant. I teach this process in 4 steps in the tantrums workshop here 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/4-steps-stop-tantrums/
Teach him coping strategies so he learns to control his impulses . The coping strategies guide will help with that . This is the link 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/coping-strategies-guide/
Usually when my son gets mad, he goes to the room alone and cry. He closes the door. I always go knock and ask him if he wants me to help him. Sometimes he tells me to go away and other times he does ask me to carry him. If he asks me to go away, I stay outside the door or if I’m busy I just keep coming back to check on him and let him know I’m there to help him out. Is this a good way? On the other hand, when it comes to hitting, I feel so crippled. I try so many ways of connecting with him and helping him calm down but I feel like I always fail badly. Sometimes he hits out of anger but sometimes he hits his little sister or me just because he thinks it’s funny. I’m having a hard time addressing that.
You are doing a great job helping your son. About the hitting, I recommend you to work on his coping strategies so he has more tools than aggression. The coping strategies guide will help you marcelacollier.com/product/coping-strategies-guide/
I love your videos and I need some help with this hitting subject, I have a 2 1/2 years old and we live with my husband family so my son basically lives with 3 of his cousins and my son sometimes hits them and hits them when they take his toys away, he push them or sometimes he throws a toy to them and I always have my father in law telling me that I have to spank my son so he will stop hitting his cousins, I don't hit ny son but I don't know how to teach him to stop doing it and at the same time let him play and socialize with his cousins. This makes me really sad and frustrated. PLEASE HELP
Focus on the behavior you want to see, communicate limits to him effectively in a way he understands at his developmental stage. I have a guide that could help you with this 👉🏼www.highimpactclub.com/3stepmethod/
Awesome perspectives! I just finished up a Parenting Series on my channel that I hope inspires & encourages parents to dominate parenting from the inside-out, just like this video has. I hope our videos encourage parents to be proactive! Just subscribed to you too.
My son won't stay in his room to calm down and will keep punching me no matter how politely I tell him it's hurting me. But I probably deserve it and it's a good way of him venting out his anger with me as long as he's not doing it to the other boys.
I like the idea of removing triggers, though. I don't tell him no to things anymore and the girls know to give him what he wants now. His confidence is improving a ton, so that's good! Gentle parenting has worked wonders on his shyness and has given him a chance to express his anger instead of bottling it all up.
Totally off topic but I love how you added the plane. 🤣
😂
Amazing love these tips. Thank you so much! 🙏🏾🙏🏾💕 my 2 years old starting this tantrums and starting to hitting. I’m so glad I found your videos. Greatest advice
You are welcome, I have a free tool to help your son calm down fast. Click this link to get it bit.ly/3NAXzkG
@@HighImpactClub essssw we
I just came back from TikTok and I love your content! Thank you 😊
You’re awesome 😎
Thankyou its very helpful to learn that we are not going to join the chaos with them so being calm is important
yes! I am happy it helped you
I saw you on TikTok and I’m in love with everything you’re saying! I have a two year old and am having trouble with this same thing... I’m a single mom and I co parent with my son’s father.... He play “fights” with him and even if I’ve expressed my concerns to him about this it still goes on.... could this affect me trying to change this behavior???
You have to teach him the difference. You can tell if he hits because he wants to play or because he’s upset. I want to share with you a free tool that has helped hundreds of moms with responding to behaviors effectively Https://highimpactclub.com/roadmap
Thank y’all so sweet
Amazing video
My 14 months old worst time for hitting is when he is playing with his big brother. My oldest son is 11, they're playing nicely. No fighting, his brother is giving him appropriate attention and he will just start smacking him sometimes... Sometimes I think he just knows he will get a response from his bro out of it, but other times I'm not sure... It's not in aggression, my toddler is honestly still playing he just doesn't understand that it can hurt.
Every behavior communicates a need. I encourage you to look beneath and unveil it
Thank you for discussing tantruming safely, I'm generally pretty tolerant, and my child is generally well behaved, but I can and have picked up my daughter from a shopping cart waved an employee to return the items and walked out carrying a screaming child, because it was not a safe place for that, we found a grassy area, I let her calm herself them we problem solved, she needed changed fed and was over stimulated, so clean with a snack into the car seat and home for a nap, the shopping waited and that was ok, she was safe and that was more important, there was no hitting, no screaming, and luckily I could find the grassy space because trying to strap an angry child into a car seat is not only hard but distressing and increases chances of that seat becoming a point of contention later. All this to say that you are allowed to move a child who is in immanent danger of hurting themselves or others without feeling like you are being a brute. I have scene this exact scenario turn into a basically abusive situation with the parent trying to tough it out whispering and finally yelling threats sometimes followed by follow through or cajoling with treats, or doing nothing at all and letting it escalate to the point someone was hurt.
I’m so happy to read comments like this of parents that make their children’s needs a priority too 🥰🥰🥰
My child doesn’t hit other kids but my boyfriend and I, he doesn’t just do it though because he’s upset he does it when he’s excited and he smiles and think it’s funny. We’re so stuck we don’t know what to do because we give him breaks in the room but nothing changes when he comes out.
That’s excitement aggression. Deep breathing will help your child calm down and not hit. I have a free resource to help you with this learn.marcelacollier.com/free
I think with my parenting for sure Im making them future goons. I gotta change but I dont have money to buy your book.
My 2.5 year old it hitting her 8 month old sister when she gets close to her when she's playing with certain things. Like her playhouse. The baby just wants to play. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment. She doesn't have a separate room. I have very little space. Were comfortable but together all the time. I'm having a hard time with this. I'm here for help. I cannot always keep them separate. She also hits her in the head with toys for fun. She loves the baby and this is a hard age with both of them and for them for separately and together. The household dynamics are shifting with the baby mobile and wanting to play. I'm not handling the hitting correctly. I know I'm not.
I also saw you on tiktok so I found you on here for even more information! This is the exact question I had so thank you for addressing it!!! Do you have another video on how to help a toddler transition from task to task and if not could you make some information either here on on tiktok about that, please? Transitions are tough for my toddler especially when he is tired. I try to validate his feelings and comfort him but I’m not sure what else I should do 🤷🏻♀️
What a great a idea. I’ll do it
Daycare is his trigger. I obviously have no control over what he does and how they react.
The free handbook you mentioned in this video it says page not available when I click on the link
That’s an old video. I’ll check it out
When we play with a specific friend she pushes her and hits her. They are 3 months apart, my daughter being the younger one. She’s 2 1/2.
My 2 yo hits every toddler that crosses her path. It doesn't matter where we are as soon as she sees a toddler she just hits them. It is very hard for me to have her around my friends that have toddlers because she will just hit them punch them scratch them bite them or pull their hair. I can't with that behavior anymore
Because her peers are not as predictable as adults and she’s in defense mechanism
@@HighImpactClub it's been 2 weeks since I wrote this but to better her behavior I have actually came up with a plan. When she hits I go eye level and tell her that hands are to hug and I hug her she has better behaviors.
My child first day of daycare was today and I called to check on her and she’s in time out for hitting and taking toys away. She never acted like this before. But my little sister does those things to my child and push her, my sister is 6 years old.. I’ve been trying to tell my sister my child is just a baby and she doesn’t listen. I wonder how I’m going to solve this because my child never acted like this before.
Please tell the daycare that you don’t approve time out. That kind of punishment escalates behavior
When he doesn't want to going for naps or to bed and night he sometimes hits and kicks me and my husband. When we try to put him down for bed even if he is tired and falling asleep. He will try to stay awake by clapping or talking.
It sounds like it is just a bedtime tantrum. Ok. I see it. Maybe he lacks independent sleep skills and get nervous to start bedtime. HIC has a sleep workshop to help you end this battle learn.marcelacollier.com/front-offer1628922043219
Is the roadmap still available? The mailing list is no longer active :(
No, but you can get my free guide on breathing exercises learn.marcelacollier.com/free
My husband gently smacks my one year olds hand when he does something wrong. And theres no changing his mind to it so now my son likes to hit for fun or when he is upset. What I do is grab his hand and say in a normal voice dont hit me it hurts me, you wouldn't want me to hit you, because that hurts. And I'm probably not doing it right but
I want to share this video with you. It might help you th-cam.com/video/DK4CRTNJOFk/w-d-xo.html
Hi! I fallow your on TikTok and I love your videos. I have a 18 month old baby girl. And she recently started to smack us when she is feeling lots of emotions. Wether it is trying to see if she can eat a bit because she struggles with eating. Or just if she doesn’t like what you are doing to her (cleaning nose, changing Diaper, putting clothes on). I’m a bit concerned when she starts preschool because I can’t control if she does it to someone else. When she’s with us and she does it we have been able to do research and be aware that it is totally normal for her to react that way even though we don’t feel like things are getting better. What is your opinion in my situation?
hello ibeth, my opinion is to recognize her early signs of aggression so she doesn't have to escalate to hitting all the time. The Tantrums workshop will help you stop aggressive tantrums, this is the link learn.marcelacollier.com/sales-page-540652591649468367923
My toddler will be 3 in May and he started to throw tantrums when we come home from my in laws (they watch him while I work) nothings seems to work for me 😔
The main thing is to learn how to desscalate the tantrum before it gets to hitting. I have a tantrums workshop that will teach you how to do it. Here 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/4-steps-stop-tantrums/
How do you deal with siblings hitting that ends up with blood. (My 5 year old hit my 3 year old with a block and my 3 year old ended up bleeding from his bottom lip). Is hard to stay calm in these situation. How would you react/solve this problem?
Many thanks xx
One of my twins threw a rock to the other one and made him bleed. I focused on the injured one. Healed him, comforted him. Once he was calm, I talked to the other one.He wasn’t allowed to play in the backyard for the rest of the afternoon where he got the rock, and I taught him empathy. He apologized to his brother and hugged him
High Impact Club thank you so much for your help.
God bless you x
Thank you for your advice!! My hardest time with my daughter is getting her to go #2. She's seen her doctor and its believed that she doesn't want to go because its dirty and co stipates herself. She's great at drinking water and so forth. She is an amazing kiddo. Very easy going, but the second she's on that pot and doesnt want to do #2, she turns into the spawn of satan. I've let her try again later and come to me when she has to go, so i don't force her. But after the 5th try again later and her comig to get me to help her, I don't let her get back up. She then acts out intensely. What am I doing wrong?
How old is she?
@@HighImpactClub 3 years.
The link doesn’t work 😞
I’ll fix it
My 4 year old hits quite a bit and smiles and laughs when doing it. What things can I do to get her to stop hitting or finding it funny? I try to redirect her or talk to her calmly about it but she will hit me again. I’m lost on what to do.
The first thing is to deescalate her behavior so she’s teachable, not defiant. I teach this process in 4 steps in the tantrums workshop here 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/4-steps-stop-tantrums/
Daycare seems to be a trigger for my lil one
Tell me more. What is going on?
Is there still a way to get the roadmap? When I click the link in the description it “no longer exists and can not be found”
marceprpo.wixsite.com/emotionalneedroadmap
How do you get your toddler from spitting water at you when they are frustrated?
Teach him coping strategies so he learns to control his impulses . The coping strategies guide will help with that . This is the link 👉🏼marcelacollier.com/product/coping-strategies-guide/
Usually when my son gets mad, he goes to the room alone and cry. He closes the door. I always go knock and ask him if he wants me to help him. Sometimes he tells me to go away and other times he does ask me to carry him. If he asks me to go away, I stay outside the door or if I’m busy I just keep coming back to check on him and let him know I’m there to help him out. Is this a good way?
On the other hand, when it comes to hitting, I feel so crippled. I try so many ways of connecting with him and helping him calm down but I feel like I always fail badly. Sometimes he hits out of anger but sometimes he hits his little sister or me just because he thinks it’s funny. I’m having a hard time addressing that.
You are doing a great job helping your son. About the hitting, I recommend you to work on his coping strategies so he has more tools than aggression. The coping strategies guide will help you marcelacollier.com/product/coping-strategies-guide/
He hits when he is at nursery
where is the emotional needs roadmap? the link doesnt work anymore
We are not offering anymore. But we have another free resource to help kids with big emotions learn.marcelacollier.com/free
I love your videos and I need some help with this hitting subject, I have a 2 1/2 years old and we live with my husband family so my son basically lives with 3 of his cousins and my son sometimes hits them and hits them when they take his toys away, he push them or sometimes he throws a toy to them and I always have my father in law telling me that I have to spank my son so he will stop hitting his cousins, I don't hit ny son but I don't know how to teach him to stop doing it and at the same time let him play and socialize with his cousins. This makes me really sad and frustrated. PLEASE HELP
Focus on the behavior you want to see, communicate limits to him effectively in a way he understands at his developmental stage. I have a guide that could help you with this 👉🏼www.highimpactclub.com/3stepmethod/
Daycare
Do you run a daycare?
It’s when I tell him “no” or won’t let him play with something that he shouldn’t be. That’s basically it and I can to figure out how to diffuse it
I have a video about defiance
Play at 1.25 or 1.5x speed. Thank me later
Awesome perspectives! I just finished up a Parenting Series on my channel that I hope inspires & encourages parents to dominate parenting from the inside-out, just like this video has. I hope our videos encourage parents to be proactive! Just subscribed to you too.