Fear of Failing, Making Mistakes, Looking Stupid & Feeling Embarrassed
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Quit wasting time doing meaningless tasks and avoiding the messy middle of real growth! If you want to achieve NEW and BIG results, you must re-define your relationship with failure.
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When we avoid the messy middle of growth, we actually prolong the end result that we’re wanting to achieve.
100%!
I dont know how I ended up here. But now I am in tears. I have been staying away from the middle my entire life and tonight I am finally seeing it. I really appreciate you for sharing this.
You're welcome. I'm glad it resonated!
Same happened to me also
We got this
My messy middle is being the best version of myself and taking risks
👏🏼👏🏼
Messy middle, learning music on the bass guitar at the age of 70, and I'm avoiding it like the plague.
Now you know what you've gotta do!
Yeah, it's that 90's Nike commercial all over again, JUST DO IT. DAMN 🤣
Don’t learn to NEED to get the right answers. Learn, from a place of genuine curiosity.
If you make mistakes, you won’t be so hard on yourself, because you’re just being genuinely curious and open, seeing how things go. And failing and making mistakes comes with the package of learning. Stop avoiding the discomfort of failing. You will fall, and sometimes it will hurt, but you keep going, until you get it right. When you make mistakes, you’re not being dumb. It’s really great that you do make mistakes, it’s the bridge to mastering real skills and becoming more better at what you do. It’s not bad to make mistakes. So go for it. Learn and grow. Fall, get up and keep going. It may feel uncomfortable at times. You may feel embarrassed at times, that’s okay. You got this.
🙌🏼 The highlights. Love it!
Damn can I say what a comment. Hats off to you mam. I hope your blessings are bountiful 🎉😊
Damn there's a whole lot of gold in this thank you. Some deep insecurities that I'm just starting to uncover within myself. A small incident with reading a tape measure wrong while doing a project with my partner sent me into a whole thing. Funny how a small thing can be the catalyst of self growth and awareness. Anyway thank you!
I’m avoiding people in general. I literally chose a cleaning job at night so I don’t have to see anyone and I freak out when I have to converse with my boss.
I don’t want to make mistakes.
I don’t want to look stupid.
I’m tired of judgement.
But I want to move forward and actually find friends and meet someone. Yet I’m trapped in this mentality of not wanting to mess up or make mistakes. 💔
You Got This 👀🫰🏾🙏🏾💯💙 We got this, Keep growing.
One of my mentors always says that growth and learning happens when you come from humble curiosity. That phrase, "humble curiosity" has stuck with me.
I love the addition of humble. Thank you for sharing 🤍🤍
This video speaks to me on multiple levels. Fear of failure is a real problem for me.
I’m glad it resonated with you. Learning how to get a handle on it is everything 🙌🏼
I have seen a few others of your videos. A former navy seal, and now yoga teacher, Mark Divine, has a wonderful video in connection to your advice of not being ashamed of making faults. It is on you tube and is called FAILING FORWARD FAST. Niels Cenius
Love! Thanks for sharing :)
So much YES !!! The uncomfortable feeling is really hard at times but its how we all learn ! Needed this video today xx
Happy it resonated 🤍
Grant yourself permission to be a beginner and redefine your relationship with learning.❤️
Thanks so much! Im encouraged to take action and fail along the way 😊
@@JerryTappan woohoo 🎉
Every word she says is straight from her heart I feel that in her voice😊
😘
Know your why!!
I want to be an expert and serve people at a high level.
Im struggling with engineering school because of this fear lol, as we all know, math relies heavily in consisten correct answers and trial and error, so it's really taking a toll in my mental health.
thanks a lot for this video, it had a lot of ideas that made me pause and reflect. one of the big ones was "willingness to fail and make mistakes". easier said than done but it's out there now. thanks for that.
Yes that’s a big one! You’re welcome
Thankyou so much, this really helped me think clearly and I will definitely work on my self. I will do things that I get scared and overthink of. Thankyou so much
I’m happy it helped 🥰
Your title describes me. I wrote a coworker off who became a big hero. See, I'm a student leader at my college's catering business, and I learned that this one guy (let's call him Tom) had signed up for a service by himself. He always seemed like a slow learner, and he has made some mistakes at work, like the time he set the tables with the wrong linens. Besides, he graduated at 20 at a small charter school, he still lived with his mom at 27, and he didn't have a driver's license. I really thought little of him. That's why I thought it was a bad idea for him to do a shift by himself. So I went to our boss. She was upset. Told Tom she didn't think he could manage alone and was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that, I don't know how much clearer I can get for you to listen" and she told him he needed someone there to guide him. Well, that night, she and I both learned our lesson.
In downtown from a balcony, we witnessed Tom protect a wheeIchaired man from two brutaI guys. At some point, they got Tom and were about to finish him, but Tom saw my boss and fire was in his eyes. He _amazingly_ broke free of the grips on him and scuffIed with the two men. Despite facing _two_ *bigger* men, Tom overcame them. There was more grappIing, swinging, and throwing from _Tom_ than from his opponents. At some point, a man pulled out a pistoI, but Tom got the arm and squeezed it, staring ferociousIy at my boss. It seemed the more he looked at her, the more strength he had in him. He had amazing tactics and strategies to win. While the two men were arres ted and Tom was checking on the wheeIchaired man (who was yes, totally fine), my boss and I approached Tom. My boss apologized for beIittIing him, said he was amazing out there and she wanted him to work the shift by himself, as she believed in him. But he refused and quit. Told her she was only saying all this because she just witnessed him do something heroic. That she didn't _truly_ respect him; it was all conditional, as her "Tom-is-incompetent" view would've stayed had he not proven himself. I think he's right.
I feel SO STUPlD. I always thought Tom was Iesser. I didn't *_consciously_* think he was a Ioser. I *_automatically_* thought he was one. Like, I didn't say or think the word about him, but I just felt it in me. But I was wrong. He may have a learning disability, but he is not an unskiIIed fooI. *My boss and I* are the fooIs. We labeIed Tom, and now we're the Iosers who were proven wrong.
“Be a student”❤️
Have your own back.
Ur so good u really deserve more popularity 🥺💓💓💓
😘😘 thanks for being here!
I was feeling really embarrassed today after doing very badly that should’ve come naturally to me because of the profession I’m in. This video made me feel so much better and made me realise that I just need to get through the middle to reach the end. I’m just in the beginning of my journey and I’m going to do better each time by learning from my mistakes
I’m so happy that this video brought some calm to what I’m sure felt like chaos in your brain! Such good awareness here and being INTENTIONAL in your thinking so that it serves you moving forward 🤍
We had an oral recitation today and I did really bad, my professor and classmates laughed at me it was so embarrassing 😭
today I forgot the way to my school in the city that I've been going to for half a year already,and troubled the driver by going back and forth to wrong ways ..... I'm a sheltered kid so I didn't know what to do.... he most likely thinks I'm stupid and ignorant for wasting his Time...I hate myself.
I usually still get taken by one of my family members to school.... shameful I know.
Happy to see you after a long time ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you!!! I’m SO happy to be back 😀
Besides being extremely helpful,your advice was encouraging and comforting. Thank you so much. Now I'm ready to face the world.💐😘
Thank you for this! I started my TH-cam channel and am focusing more on providing good content and helping people and that’s helped me focus rather than feel self conscious about it
Congrats on starting a channel! So happy this video could help. YES, when we stop making it about us, we just get to serving!! Love it.
Welcome back! I can SO relate to the health issue hiatus issue as well. Great to see you again and that you are getting multiple opinions and help :)
Thank you! Psyched to be back. So much content swirling for videos 😊 hope you’re doing well!!
really helpful
Thank u very much❤
You're so welcome 🥰
That's literally me!
I've went to art school for 3 years and currently starting my 2 year of college (Graphic design) that's almost 5 years and I haven't had a client yet cuz I'm too scared of not knowing enough its so annoying
This is really good awareness! Now you get to decide what you do with this!
you will never know enough or ever know it all that is impossible .though you can get around that by doing small things first its hard but if you keep at it you get more experience.
You are so inspiring
🤍 thanks for watching!
I'm always afraid of being judged...
I definitely recommend that you get some coaching (or do your own self coaching) around the thoughts that are causing that fear! You want to clean all that up. What possibilities could open up for you if you didn’t have those limiting beliefs? Who would you be? What would you do?
Wow actually felt like you speaking to me in this video. and worse when you let go and keep going back after years and wondering why the did i not try at least only to go back again and like a coward stop cause you scared to face your emotions and reality about certain things
Hey Vanessa! Thanks for watching. Sounds like it really resonated 🙌🏼 definitely NOT an opportunity to beat yourself up but rather just be aware of it all! So that you can choose purposefully next time!
idk why I'm scared to go to school because I'm dumb I'm overthinking that I can't answer my test on f2f or I can't catch up to my school
I was so much depressed today after i failed in my final exam.This video makes me calm and gives me hope.
Thank you so much shaina!!
You’re very welcome! You don’t have to make that mean anything about anything. Just learn and keep on moving 😘
You are very brave to seek help to better understand yourself
I am avoiding doing exactly what you are doing now....coaching, podcasts, etc. 😩
This hit hard! I so do this! 🤦♀️ Thank you for this
You’re welcome! I’m glad I could be that person for you!
You got close, but either missed or didn’t emphasize enough a couple of points. Discomfort is something naturally to avoid so to confront it you actually need something else to be even more afraid of that could happen if you didn’t go through it. Second, it helps to orient your life in a way that the possibility of failure won’t negatively affect you, OR figure out if your mind is lying to you that it would be negative if you failed. It would really help to confidently see that you’d be fine even if you failed. Of course, that may take some work.
my whole life i’ve been gaslit for asking for help.
dad called me a dumbass many times when i was super young & i didn’t know any better. brother would beat me if i said no to things he’d want me to do. ontop of all this, my mom lashes out when i ask questions - sometimes regardless of the tone.
i’m 25 & these memories are really holding me back to where i fear asking for help bc the feelings are just as real as when they first occurred. it has gotten so bad to where i feel like if i’m not understanding something, that if i ask many times (because i don’t understand), i’ll get criticized & it’s created this crushing fear of getting embarrassed when i want to ask for help in a group setting for everyone else to see & remember.
dropped $10K on sales training that has group coaching where we do call reviews & i can’t get past any trauma to submit a call for review in a group setting. i’ve gotten made fun of enough in my life - why the fuck would i risk doing so in a GROUP setting for everyone else to see. so, there goes $10K down the drain.
i fear confrontation, i fear for saying no bc i ALWAYS assume it’ll lead to unhealthy friction (get physical), & i fear for asking for help bc it’s ingrained in me that i’d be an inconvenience doing so + fear i’ll get embarrassed simply for not knowing anything. if god wanted a kid with the trifecta of fears, here I am. thanks, god!
needless to say, a few events in my life are gigantic blockages to my own growth as a man.
because of those events in my life, i have my own negative beliefs about everyone I meet in that they need to prove to me that they mean good & are of no harm. I have molded beliefs that everyone is bad & are trained to be good (whatever the fuck that means). i just assume that everyone is shitty at heart.
did my family KNOW what they were creating? probably not - but damn. i think it would be safe to assume that they would have some..gee idk.. common fucking sense to NOT treat a family member the way they did? idk. maybe they were too narcissistic to consider the ramifications of their actions when raising a kid. their own kid. their youngest kid.
i will never forgive my parents or my brother. never. they are partially responsible for these roots.
Hello! I am Ashalata, have been teaching math from past 5 years, and have observed that most of the high school level students has fear of making mistakes. So what would you do to resolve this issue?
Thank You.
Hi Shaina I hope you are okay :)
Is it possible to access older materials on the podcast app? It only lets me listen to the materials up to December 2020 for some reason 🤔
Hey! Right now, 10 episodes at a time are being released. Unfortunately much OLDER episodes will not be available.
Just found your channel I can really relate but my mental illness is a little more extreme I can't go or do anything because of anxiety, I hate myself and what I've become I really feel like giving up, i wish I had a way to make money online to get me out of this hell, I feel so lost and worthless and to anxious to do anything about it 😩
Yes Yes Yes to alllll of this 🙌🏻🙌🏻 Thanks for the perspective
You’re very welcome 😉
Wow this has helped me so much. These are all the things I've been doing to avoid failing or being uncomfortable.❤
I'm so glad it was helpful 😀
Am not flexible, am trying to do flexible poses like standing and fall into the iron bend but,l keep failing I feel like I will never be flexible 😔
Is the thought “I will never be flexible” serving you in achieving the result you want? My guess is no. You’ve gotta clean up that messy thinking first. Get your thoughts in alignment first and then go take the action 😘
So glad you're back! I deal with a chronic health issue also, while working at home. My "messy" issue now is dealing with Zoom and other videoconferencing platforms because I feel uncomfortable in front of the camera.
Hey Wendy! Thanks. Glad to be back. Health issues are no fun but I hope you’re able to manage your symptoms accordingly and even find new and improved ways! As far as your “messy middle”...good to know!! Try small awards/ celebrations each and every time you show up!!
Probably one of the most compelling and convincing advice that I've witnessed in a very, very long time. Major respect
Thanks!!
I needed this so much. Thank you!
I even make supper mistakes . As stupid as clerical mistake, dates etc
I’m going to decide to celebrate my mistakes not just my wins. When I make mistakes, it will help me see I’m human, and that’s amazing. I’m going to see better now, at what I’m doing, now that I’m making mistakes.
I just found the apartment of my dreams, but my family keeps telling me I shouldn't move in because I would have to rebuild some parts of it (it has no kitchen, bathroom etc.). I have no building experience AT ALL. Zero. I'm really afraid I'll mess it up. But maybe I should just dive in as you said and make it the apartment of my dreams regardless of what people say. Thank you Shaina!
Girl YES! You got this. This is also an opportunity to be a massive problem-solver. If you know this is the move for you, trust that you’ll figure it out as you go. 💪🏼💪🏼
My messy middle:
Not trying foot ball in front of others
Playing it alone
Not playing cricket
Not trying to drive more
Not trying to play sword with others
Only playing it alone
Not trying to get feedback on my photography
Only sticking to perfectionism with insta page on photography
Not facing my fears
Sticking to perfectionism but with bad mental health and critical self talk
WOW! Amazing awareness here! I'd celebrate this awareness first and foremost and kinda sit in it for a day. And then decide what you want to do about it!
I am avoiding everything you described
Celebrating your awareness!
thxs a lot..great advice!!!,🤩🙋🏻♀️
You’re welcome 😉
Nice to see you back Shaina💝💝
Thank you 😊
Thank you
You're welcome!!
Has anyone ever told you that you look kinda like Jenna Boyd?
I think someone has mentioned that in the past! I don’t really know who she is lol
@@ShainaLeis I never heard of Jenna Boyd. Looking like you is an indication of her being extremely pretty. I truly appreciate your advice.💐😘
Love you videos they always motivate me and give me an extra push
😀 woohoo! Thanks for being here. I create them for people like you! Many more to come. Xo
Yup I needed this. I appreciate you and your work.
Glad I could help ☺️
That's exactly me.
Nice talk
Thanks!
I totally relate to feeling scared of coaching and fearing rejection. My tendencies I’ve noticed are signing up to more and more courses.
Hey Hetti! Really good realization girl! It’s a form of procrastination and thinking you need more credentials, info, etc before starting. Just get in there girl 💪🏼 I hope this video helped!
Shaina Leis I think you’re right! I’ve just journaled through it and reframed my thoughts and thinking. I already feel more confident. Haha. And honestly so much! I adore you’re videos you’re coaching is so helpful ❤️Thank you so much xx
@@hettijayne love that! Thanks for always watching 😘
Thank you.
Thank you Shaina Leis
You’re welcome 😘
I just came because I needed an advice. This video really helped. Thanks!
I have a fear that in the past I have done something bad or wrong that I didn’t know and then one day you will notice it and then I will be like oh no and worry a lot
I have never said to myself, "I want to master this skill". If i am interested in it that's all it takes for me to try. It's the 10 million other things i have no interest in that is the problem. I can't fake sincerity. I can't pretend to be curious or interested in things that I find banal.
LOL you're translating well what exactly in my mind.. even i dont realize it til you say it
2 years passed, but this is still valuable. Thank you.
Might need to play this every morning to get me to do the hard thing!!!
I needed to hear this, thanks so much
You're welcome!
My ego felt highly attacked, great video 💯❣
This is such a helpful video! Thank you for making it.
For me, I am scared that I am not good at what I am doing, even though I love doing it. Embarrassment is one thing that I'm freaking scared of. Thinking that no matter how much I try, I won't get the desired results, is also one thing that holds me back.
Don't know where and how this is going to end up, but I guess I'll have to get down in the messy middle as you said, to know the answers. 💓
Ah ok, so it sounds like you’ve gotta work on your belief! Once your belief is high, it’s easier to gain tue courage to feel all the feels!
I am avoiding getting over an past relationship.
Love this
Thanks!
Thank you for this
You’re welcome!
Crazy good! 👏🏻
Thank you!
Thank you, thank you ❤️🙌🏽
helps me a lot
Yay I'm so glad!
I'm totally the person who makes all the pretty marketing materials without doing what I wanted to do ha.