I must thank my daughter for introducing Esther Perel to me. What an insight to fix oneself and understand the partnership. Thank you Esther for being passionate in the subject that anchors human life. 😙
She is talking to the people in long term relationship who are in love. She is talking to the couples who love each other and don't want to lose their passion and want to be together until the end of their lives. She is talking about the ways we lose the most beloved in our lives because we do not know how learn on how to keep interested in them, because there are many instant social rewards in our society that made us turn to the easy ways instead of learning to take care of the one who we love deeply and is meaningful to us and would made us miserable losing them. So people on youtube , do you want to be right or happy?
+Lola r You are asking the wrong question, because "being right" and "being happy" should not be opposing forces. If you are happy it means that you did the right thing.
"Security (Anchor) vs Adventure" The fundamental paradox of our lives and our relationships is how we are allowed to experience closeness, connection, security, dependability and predictability while at the same time having freedom, expansion, risk, discovery of the unknown as well as exploration
I’m glad to see someone who can put it into words all the feelings I’ve always had regarding relationships and that most of time are looked at with “strange” eyes, being clear and realizing that each person has their own life does not mean that you can’t love or that you are not loyal... the feedback I always got back from not being a crazy clingy woman is that perhaps I cannot love at all!!! Blessed are the ones who can put aside their own heads and think about the other with a fresh perspective. Awesome work! Big fan
Reciprocity is the key. Some men are big children... thank you. Love, at its best, makes us the best persons of our self. We live love at our best n at our worst-if it still remains-, then there is a chance to survive Love. With my ex, I felt safe n secure as i had never felt before. He is the only one to know me as the woman I wanted to be. I want(ed) nothing else . Things have changed by a violation n crime. Love needs no words. Being physical in love heals many wounds. When it happens in a correct way.
Interesting. 'Chosen at our most authentic.. And Rejected at our most authentic..' I would say quietly - It is even more profound in extramarital relationships- because of the freedom to pick and drop them. Hahaha You know when the texts dont come back.. when there is no 'time or energy' for you- that its the end of the affair/relationship/intimacy/friendship etc.. it all hangs in the balance of 'want'.
It doesn’t takes so long , if I come out of cave , but I’ve some more to do in my cave , come to see me , and if you’re older than me, I’ll come to see you.
I guess one way to grok all this is to denounce marriage and relationships as baroque illusions with no substance, and accept the "psychological pain" just as readily as you would accept a bad back or a broken leg
I don’t understand when she says « sense of anchor and sense of liberty when you know you can leave and come back » in what way? Separate & make up just for the seek of it? Can somebody help
Not sure if in this video, but when Ms E. P. says a person in a relationship can easily access casual sex, (as opposed to getting into a secondary partner/relationship) I disagree. It is misleading to promote casual sex as an easy thing, that a person can go anywhere and pick up a lay any ol' time. It may apply to people on P&O cruise or frequent high-flyer types, but such folk are not the majority of people, (as pleb as many cruise liner and high flyer types people may be. But discerning people would not f**k those ones anyway). To suggest casual non committal sex is hugely popular and easy to access only increases unrealistic expectations among the lesser intelligent individuals and mobs and gives them excuse to sexually assault and rape others who are unfortunately unable to free themselves from this income class. The lesser intelligent might then use the excuse they "heard Esther Perel say it is so easy to get casual sex". Even though I doubt the lesser intelligent would listen to any of the rest what Esther has to impart, on the topic of relationships, in depth, which is very good information. Thank you Esther.
Perel's a modern shaman who uses persuasive language to gas light the public. She glibly addresses women "victimized" by their upbringing, their parents and "others." A persuasive salesman of self-help books and videos who attempts to desensitize and diminish men.
I loved what one of the audience members quoted to Esther, about expectations. " an expectation is a resentment under construction"
24:25 - "How meaningful do I want to be in the architecture of another person's life?" Wow, this is a super-powerful question.
I must thank my daughter for introducing Esther Perel to me. What an insight to fix oneself and understand the partnership. Thank you Esther for being passionate in the subject that anchors human life. 😙
She is talking to the people in long term relationship who are in love. She is talking to the couples who love each other and don't want to lose their passion and want to be together until the end of their lives. She is talking about the ways we lose the most beloved in our lives because we do not know how learn on how to keep interested in them, because there are many instant social rewards in our society that made us turn to the easy ways instead of learning to take care of the one who we love deeply and is meaningful to us and would made us miserable losing them.
So people on youtube , do you want to be right or happy?
I don't know about you but I can be right and happy at the same time.
+Lola r You are asking the wrong question, because "being right" and "being happy" should not be opposing forces. If you are happy it means that you did the right thing.
Want to be happy. Being right means a miserable marriage.
Bloody excellent.
Indeed
I wish I could like it many times. Esther rocks.
"Security (Anchor) vs Adventure"
The fundamental paradox of our lives and our relationships is how we are allowed to experience closeness, connection, security, dependability and predictability while at the same time having freedom, expansion, risk, discovery of the unknown as well as exploration
Such a beautiful smile AND fluent in 9 languages? God, I love this woman even more!
Fuck 9?! I want to find her books I just discovered her stuff!
Jesus, this woman is a genius!
"The burden of selfhood." So right on.
An expectation is a resentment under construction. Gold.
This talk is one of my favorite one of Esther Perel. "Intomecy" is a brilliant metaphor for what is happening to us now.
Into me see.
“There is no relationship without conflict “
i completely get her...i want to feel heard and understood.... it is so simple
I’m glad to see someone who can put it into words all the feelings I’ve always had regarding relationships and that most of time are looked at with “strange” eyes, being clear and realizing that each person has their own life does not mean that you can’t love or that you are not loyal... the feedback I always got back from not being a crazy clingy woman is that perhaps I cannot love at all!!!
Blessed are the ones who can put aside their own heads and think about the other with a fresh perspective.
Awesome work! Big fan
This woman is a genius. She destills relationships into such an explainable situation.
Opening up so much in my mind wow soaking up all her passion and energy she’s superb and captivating!
Esther doesn't fuck around!!!
An apex of folly. Nice phrase.
Great lecture.
Cant get enough,,
Reciprocity is the key. Some men are big children... thank you. Love, at its best, makes us the best persons of our self. We live love at our best n at our worst-if it still remains-, then there is a chance to survive Love. With my ex, I felt safe n secure as i had never felt before. He is the only one to know me as the woman I wanted to be. I want(ed) nothing else . Things have changed by a violation n crime. Love needs no words. Being physical in love heals many wounds. When it happens in a correct way.
Awesome..!! Wish I could meet you once ?
Good and so relevant to me....Thank you.... ....
brilliant talk...on in -to- me -see
Great speaker..................
This time is hard times to challenge, because of technology, which my god is behinds
Lots of questions to ponder- is they helpful for you? Haircut choice says something -
We feel like ... But 'the chosen one' cannot be our authentic self (our essence): only the ego (the persona) cares about validation whatsoever.
I got you
Interesting.
'Chosen at our most authentic.. And Rejected at our most authentic..'
I would say quietly - It is even more profound in extramarital relationships- because of the freedom to pick and drop them.
Hahaha
You know when the texts dont come back..
when there is no 'time or energy' for you- that its the end of the affair/relationship/intimacy/friendship etc..
it all hangs in the balance of 'want'.
It doesn’t takes so long , if I come out of cave , but I’ve some more to do in my cave , come to see me , and if you’re older than me, I’ll come to see you.
17 the minute great idea
I guess one way to grok all this is to denounce marriage and relationships as baroque illusions with no substance, and accept the "psychological pain" just as readily as you would accept a bad back or a broken leg
Hellene Iq mm
mm
I love to be with you good people
In to me see = intimacy
oooo burnies, she's going in on these people.
I don’t understand when she says « sense of anchor and sense of liberty when you know you can leave and come back » in what way? Separate & make up just for the seek of it? Can somebody help
Well let’s all try open marriages then hehe! She’s amazing by the way- profound
Not sure if in this video, but when Ms E. P. says a person in a relationship can easily access casual sex, (as opposed to getting into a secondary partner/relationship) I disagree. It is misleading to promote casual sex as an easy thing, that a person can go anywhere and pick up a lay any ol' time.
It may apply to people on P&O cruise or frequent high-flyer types, but such folk are not the majority of people, (as pleb as many cruise liner and high flyer types people may be. But discerning people would not f**k those ones anyway).
To suggest casual non committal sex is hugely popular and easy to access only increases unrealistic expectations among the lesser intelligent individuals and mobs and gives them excuse to sexually assault and rape others who are unfortunately unable to free themselves from this income class.
The lesser intelligent might then use the excuse they "heard Esther Perel say it is so easy to get casual sex".
Even though I doubt the lesser intelligent would listen to any of the rest what Esther has to impart, on the topic of relationships, in depth, which is very good information. Thank you Esther.
Erotic n emotional iQ go hand in hand.... for some these things are innate.
Eros...it does mean energy, drive...'life-force', even though it has been bastardized as meaning sexual-centric.
N
Perel's a modern shaman who uses persuasive language to gas light the public. She glibly addresses women "victimized" by their upbringing, their parents and "others." A persuasive salesman of self-help books and videos who attempts to desensitize and diminish men.