It angers me when people said “just don’t think about it”, well jeez if I wanted to stop the reminiscing I would’ve by now 😒 you think I like thinking about an abuser for “fun”. I would say be in my shoes but I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.
15+ years later and I still have super intense dreams where it feels like I am with him in reality. Luckily they are much more rare today then they were years ago. Ive been in a happy and un-abusive marriage for 10 years and he has slowly healed that mistrust and fear in my heart. It took so long for me to know he wasn't going to just disappear and not come back For days or weeks with no contact.
Vanessa, I recommend a starting book for you... It's called Cleaning up my mental mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf.. It's helped me alot.. I still have a long way to go, but I am on the right track.
Well, i might wish it on my worst enemy , cough cough narcissist. In fact if there is a hell, i hope that when he goes, he gets to experience EVERY hurtful thing he's ever done to ANYONE only that he feels it 100 times worse
Omg I am married to a narcissist and I am on a mental journey and I am totally turning all of that anger and pain into love for myself... Iam working on my mental, physical, and financial self. Is this really the key to breaking that trauma bond? Wow iam excited and can't wait for my mental, emotional, and financial goals to be complete to walk away.
I think the adversary, or call it evil, often tries to get me thinking about this person, because person was so evil. Was being used by evil too, I know. Everytime I pray to overcome, person shows right back up, sometimes even within a few minutes. Its really interesting.
I’ve been leveling up, healing, growing, working on my self during my self love journey but I’m still struggling with this trauma bond. It’s been almost a year now and I feel like I’m in a good place with my self. But it still feels like she’s tattooed in my brain.
Yep that's what I was going to say.. what helps me is realising they'll never ever be truly sorry for what they've done. All the good times or times they've tried to help me etc are nothing compared to all the sh*t times and also mean nothing if they are not ultimately sorry about anything ever, no matter how hurtful. They would just do the same things again given the opportunity and I wont let anyone treat me like that anymore.
It’s difficult, but you can learn to develop resilience over time by being true to yourself and your own need for healthy boundaries and space from toxicity.
Pray to be broken free of the SOUL TIE- it’s a sexual connection that is spiritual and intensely real. Once you find a prayer to break soul ties on TH-cam- and listen often- throw out all items and photos from them/ or any point of contact (obviously kids stay)! But this will free your life of the demonic cords you cannot see. It’s soooo real. But YOU CAN GET FREE TOTALLY- way faster…. God will heal your broken heart. I promise! Keep pressing IN and pray!!
For 2 1/2 months. I would watch a show & her name. I'd change the channel. I couldn't watch certain commercials becuz it reminded me of her. I haven't listened to love songs cuz I was afraid they would make me sad, cry, etc. I kept telling myself She is still controlling you & she is not in your life. Guess what this last week, I been watching TV not changing channel, I can watch those commercials. I Even listened to the 2 songs we called our own, she sent me. I would sing to her when we danced to them about once a week. I was scared at first. Guess what, no reaction, no sadness, no crying. I'm still keeping my appointment with Behavioral Health next week. I'm working on me.
Yes, that trauma bonding is a crazy thing. Believing we wouldn't do better. So glad I'm over him, almost. Enough to not go back though. But I've been missing him lately. Not enough though. But I have to admit to myself no matter what my feelings for him was real and will take time like any other breakup, it will take time for those feelings to subside. But I'm healed and moved on enough to be able to talk to others again. That's a good thing. But.... The first two people I meet, why they have to be narcs also. Good thing I know the red flags though! And said goodbye before the hello was even dry lol
It’s scary to know how many of these people are out there. We can only keep our eyes open. Because the experience we got, although extremely painful but valuable because there is no way we’re ending up with those things again
I’ve learned so much about him I know him better than he does himself. I met two over ladies and all three of us talked about ours for the longest time. They are all the same also. I guess they’ve always been among us, we just don’t know how to see it got what it was.
I swear to God this is what keeps me coming back. I need so much help. I am going to seek therapy. I don't want to be back with him. I just want him to be more apologetic than he is.
I suggest an amazing book for you all... Iam on this mental journey also and married to a narcissist.. The book is called Cleaning up my mental mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf. It's helped me alot
He got me confused when he said he had dated another narcissist before ???? Is that possible if you are a narcissist? How can a narcissist feel attracted to another narcissist? How does any of them get their supply from the other? Isn’t the narc unable to feel real affection/empathy for others thus unable to love others and therefore unable to experience heartbreak? Can anyone explain? I really want to get fully educated about narcissism. Thanks 🙏
Been married for 23 years to a narcissist that ended up cheating on me & am soon to be divorced due to the infidelity. What does it mean if you don't have any trauma bond like most people have when going through the same problems?
The Truth is, until you heal, if we were to not be with someone with these traits, and with someone mentally stable, kind, lives life treating others well, you would probably ask the same question, why is this person interested in me, oh, he, or she is too nornal. I can't expose the real me! By staying with the toxic person or narcissist, you can keep the victim mode going. Realize your'e picking these folks because they represent parts of your parents. Your inner child is looking for a care taker. It's not the narcissist responsibility to do the things your parents didn't. And you get the same results you had as a child.
Do narcissists also get addicted to the other person if that other person is not a narcissist? Or they're just like yeah, I got you controlled here but if that person leaves they don't go through the withdrawals and everything
Yeah but I don’t see what’s so bad about trauma Bond I love when my partner can control I love being submissive I don’t care about trauma I’m that strong I love being controlled I’m crazy too tho so
They never deserved you in the first place. I needed to hear that. Thank you, Lee.
😊😊
I have listen to this several times . Addictive to toxicity , that really hit home. Never thought it was a thing . 🤦🏾♀️
'If they can trigger you, they can control you' 🤎
I love being controlled tho
U trigger me it’s a quick 1 ,2 👊 a lot of ppl are scared of narcs everytime dude pushed my bottoms he had a black eye I abused him if anything
I became addicted to abuse because I was born into a narcissistic family. No contact saved my life.
It angers me when people said “just don’t think about it”, well jeez if I wanted to stop the reminiscing I would’ve by now 😒 you think I like thinking about an abuser for “fun”.
I would say be in my shoes but I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.
15+ years later and I still have super intense dreams where it feels like I am with him in reality. Luckily they are much more rare today then they were years ago. Ive been in a happy and un-abusive marriage for 10 years and he has slowly healed that mistrust and fear in my heart. It took so long for me to know he wasn't going to just disappear and not come back
For days or weeks with no contact.
Vanessa, I recommend a starting book for you... It's called Cleaning up my mental mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf.. It's helped me alot.. I still have a long way to go, but I am on the right track.
@@lastarlaloca1 would it help me as a man?
Well, i might wish it on my worst enemy , cough cough narcissist.
In fact if there is a hell, i hope that when he goes, he gets to experience EVERY hurtful thing he's ever done to ANYONE only that he feels it 100 times worse
Agreed
I was so addicted to him. I couldn’t stop crying… for days! Therapy helped.
🙌🏾🙏🏽
Omg I am married to a narcissist and I am on a mental journey and I am totally turning all of that anger and pain into love for myself... Iam working on my mental, physical, and financial self. Is this really the key to breaking that trauma bond? Wow iam excited and can't wait for my mental, emotional, and financial goals to be complete to walk away.
You got this! Sending strength 💪🏻
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with the narcissist in your own life, it explains a lot.
EMDR therapy is very helpful. I have to do it on my memories with my ex & with my father. It takes time.
I think the adversary, or call it evil, often tries to get me thinking about this person, because person was so evil. Was being used by evil too, I know. Everytime I pray to overcome, person shows right back up, sometimes even within a few minutes. Its really interesting.
I’ve been leveling up, healing, growing, working on my self during my self love journey but I’m still struggling with this trauma bond. It’s been almost a year now and I feel like I’m in a good place with my self. But it still feels like she’s tattooed in my brain.
I hear you. I’ve been separated from him for almost 4 years and he still has some weird control over my mind.
What if you are trauma bonded to a parent since childhood 😬😬. Sheesh
That's it in a nutshell.
Yep that's what I was going to say.. what helps me is realising they'll never ever be truly sorry for what they've done. All the good times or times they've tried to help me etc are nothing compared to all the sh*t times and also mean nothing if they are not ultimately sorry about anything ever, no matter how hurtful. They would just do the same things again given the opportunity and I wont let anyone treat me like that anymore.
That's how my abuse started. Both parents narcissistic.
It’s difficult, but you can learn to develop resilience over time by being true to yourself and your own need for healthy boundaries and space from toxicity.
Pray to be broken free of the SOUL TIE- it’s a sexual connection that is spiritual and intensely real. Once you find a prayer to break soul ties on TH-cam- and listen often- throw out all items and photos from them/ or any point of contact (obviously kids stay)! But this will free your life of the demonic cords you cannot see. It’s soooo real. But YOU CAN GET FREE TOTALLY- way faster…. God will heal your broken heart. I promise! Keep pressing IN and pray!!
For 2 1/2 months. I would watch a show & her name. I'd change the channel.
I couldn't watch certain commercials becuz it reminded me of her. I haven't listened to love songs cuz I was afraid they would make me sad, cry, etc. I kept telling myself She is still controlling you & she is not in your life. Guess what this last week, I been watching TV not changing channel, I can watch those commercials. I Even listened to the 2 songs we called our own, she sent me. I would sing to her when we danced to them about once a week. I was scared at first. Guess what, no reaction, no sadness, no crying. I'm still keeping my appointment with Behavioral Health next week. I'm working on me.
Yes, that trauma bonding is a crazy thing. Believing we wouldn't do better. So glad I'm over him, almost. Enough to not go back though. But I've been missing him lately. Not enough though. But I have to admit to myself no matter what my feelings for him was real and will take time like any other breakup, it will take time for those feelings to subside. But I'm healed and moved on enough to be able to talk to others again. That's a good thing. But.... The first two people I meet, why they have to be narcs also. Good thing I know the red flags though! And said goodbye before the hello was even dry lol
It’s scary to know how many of these people are out there. We can only keep our eyes open. Because the experience we got, although extremely painful but valuable because there is no way we’re ending up with those things again
I’ve learned so much about him I know him better than he does himself. I met two over ladies and all three of us talked about ours for the longest time. They are all the same also. I guess they’ve always been among us, we just don’t know how to see it got what it was.
I swear to God this is what keeps me coming back. I need so much help. I am going to seek therapy. I don't want to be back with him. I just want him to be more apologetic than he is.
I'm going through that right now
Me toooooo..... It's horrible
🙏 For U!
Me too 😔 unfortunately not a good feeling
I suggest an amazing book for you all... Iam on this mental journey also and married to a narcissist.. The book is called Cleaning up my mental mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf. It's helped me alot
@@lastarlaloca1 thank you
@@tacorrachosen888 your welcome, I hope it helps!!!
Ty I need to leave just got a fresh back eye tonight and he says it my fault again I can't take this anymore
Got Dam! Lee! Thank you
you’re welcome
DAYUM bruh!! 💯😆 My life, and bossed up!
I didn't know narcissists could be in relation with each other.
Thank you!
you’re welcome
God bless u! Thank u!!
Going through this currently
He got me confused when he said he had dated another narcissist before ???? Is that possible if you are a narcissist? How can a narcissist feel attracted to another narcissist? How does any of them get their supply from the other? Isn’t the narc unable to feel real affection/empathy for others thus unable to love others and therefore unable to experience heartbreak? Can anyone explain? I really want to get fully educated about narcissism. Thanks 🙏
He’s done a lot of work on himself. That’s probably why this happened.
Anything is possible.
Been married for 23 years to a narcissist that ended up cheating on me & am soon to be divorced due to the infidelity. What does it mean if you don't have any trauma bond like most people have when going through the same problems?
The Truth is, until you heal, if we were to not be with someone with these traits, and with someone mentally stable, kind, lives life treating others well, you would probably ask the same question, why is this person interested in me, oh, he, or she is too nornal. I can't expose the real me! By staying with the toxic person or narcissist, you can keep the victim mode going. Realize your'e picking these folks because they represent parts of your parents. Your inner child is looking for a care taker. It's not the narcissist responsibility to do the things your parents didn't. And you get the same results you had as a child.
I heard the story and the "what" but not the "how"
Love this and hope I get there too ❤
Well said!
That was a word !!!!
Yes!!!
So you as a narcissist you've been in a relationship with another narcissist? Was she worse than you?
Do narcissists also get addicted to the other person if that other person is not a narcissist? Or they're just like yeah, I got you controlled here but if that person leaves they don't go through the withdrawals and everything
Thanks for sharing
Thank you
Thanks
I did
💎💎💎
💪🏼🙏🏼🦶🏼
Big LIKE from me too...👍👍👍💫💫💫
Thank you
Awww😊
🗣💯🎯
What ? Wait...she didnt deserve you ? Well werent/ arent you a narcissist too ? Lol lol
That didn’t help at all!
Yeah but I don’t see what’s so bad about trauma Bond I love when my partner can control I love being submissive I don’t care about trauma I’m that strong I love being controlled I’m crazy too tho so
But did she deserve you? I think two narcs are perfect together. Just suck the entire life out of one another and save us the pain!!
Thank you
you’re welcome