Tbh, the one thing that kept me going back was the good sex and good times. I worried I'd never find that passion again but it's not enough to destroy my life for.
Lee, as an “empath” I don’t think of myself as more empathetic than everyone else, BUT when you cross an empath and attempt to destroy them through narcissistic behaviors, some empaths have a lot of narcissistic tendencies that come out as a defense mechanism and act out. Kind of like reactive abuse.
It's not narcissistic to fiercely defend yourself - it's constructive. Narcissism is destructive, as in, someone comes along and slowly destroys you, unprovoked. It's an unnecessary full-front attack. Defending yourself is normal, good, and constructive. Constructive vs destructive, that's the whole difference.
There were many times after I felt I was pushed to my limits where I lashed out at him. There are no words I could use to describe how I felt. All I remember is the pain and anger I felt towards him. I did terrible things like punching, biting and kicking. It was like my body and spirit was fighting for its soul and as I hurt him I swear he enjoyed it as he played the Victim. I couldn't forgive myself for a while and felt so ashamed, but I eventually managed it. I forgave myself for going back. I forgave myself for loving him. I forgave myself for not believing I deserved better. I forgave myself for being human with feelings. 🍒
I absolutely love your response. And this is exactly what I’m going through right now. And I’m hurt deeply but I also love him. It hurts to leave but it hurts more to stay.
I saw my narcissistic exes level of evil the day I moved out. I lived next door & he had flown over from abroad his new supply. He knew it was over & he showed me 0 remorse. I later found out through someone that he had been seeing his new supply abroad for some time. Silly me thought he was just going abroad to destress. I was used until he could get back abroad & find a younger supply. He also used me to make money. As I was carrying my belongings to the truck, he picked a fight with me & called me a loser, & a fat B***h, I stayed calm & just kept walking. She's welcome to him, God help her.
Don't let yourself be trapped in a relationship with someone who is incapable of loving and caring about you the way you deserve to be loved and cared about
And it explains that weird feeling that you have when you ask yourself: if the narc is loving me, why do I feel so completely empty?? I just spent 24 hours with them.... what's wrong here??
Self-love is no. 1 rule. If you have Self-love you can put in place boundaries (for you and others) and accept consequences of your boundaries with no regret.
Replace the good thoughts from the love bombing phase with the horrific treatment/thoughts/emotions/feelings from the monster's discard; this will help you break it the trauma bond.
I don't believe every person with narcissistic traits is hopeless, helpless, or less than any other person. They aren't incapable of change, but it's up to you if you are willing and able to support them through such a scary journey. I wish the majority of society wouldn't see people as "evil" just because some aspects of their personality can be attached to a word with negative connotation. Not saying anyone should decide to stay. But it scares me how much narcissistic people are talked about on other TH-cam channels like they aren't humans
Just walked away from a 3 year relationship with a narcissist. Poured my all into him and got nothing in return but a broken heart! I'm going through healing process now and so grateful for your vedios! It's helping me to learn and understand how a narcissist really functions! Thank you for being very open, transparent and using your experience to help so many people!!
I wish I could get angry I’m in pain I can’t eat sleep, eat, can’t move. I’m stuck. I pray that one day I will look back at this and say what in the hell was I doing and thinking. But it’s so new and raw. Day One. Prayers to everyone suffering and going thru the pain. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Remember to eat, pray everyday , mediate, fuel your body and take short walks outside...throw on your shades if you have too! I know that stuck feeling. Remember...the way someone treats you is more important than how much you love them. I will pray for you.
Been there! Being discarded was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I let it happen twice with two different narcissists. Didn’t recognize the signs the second time. I see you posted a year ago, I trust that you’re doing so much better now. ❤
I have noticed that a common thing with Narcissistic Men is that they are Highly Sexual, this shows how shallow their depth is. The Narcissist I was with did not have any conversation, there was nothing to talk about accept him making Sexual advances.
Damn!! "I lost myself, I don't know who I am anymore." "Good. You think it's a bad thing but who you were got you with a narcissist" 🤯🤯🤯 Holy moly did this hit hard! I've been struggling with this. I liked who I was and have been feeling such shame and unsure of myself. Been trying to get back to "the old me" unsuccessfully. I've been feeling damaged. But you are absolutely right. I'll never be who I was before the abuse but I don't need to mourn that. The person I was (as much as I liked her) was vulnerable and an easy target. She didn't know how to set boundaries and take care of her own needs first. Maybe I don't know who I am anymore but I at least know what I don't want to be. That's a start. The start of becoming who I really want to be. Identifying my own wants and needs has been so hard, I'm not sure how. I'm so used to always putting others first. Thank you so much Lee!! The work you are doing is more valuable than I can say. Please continue, with my sincere thanks 👏🙏🙏
While I was burning a letter with my ex husband’s name on it last night in attempt to release his residual energy from me, my phone received a notification for this video. The irony of that! Thanks for doing what you’re doing by breaking the cycle of toxicity! ❤️🔥
It’s a physical manifestation of setting an intention to break away mentally and emotionally from something or someone. It isn’t witchcraft. It’s a method of reframing your mind
I demanded a lot from the narcissist (this only helped a bit), but I was caught in a trauma bond. I was miserable, desperately wanted to leave but could not. I finally did, it was when I realized he wouldn't change. But while in the thick of it, I came to the conclusion that the "intensity" is like a magnet. It's extremely confusing & awful.
Self love is your ticket out. It's not easy, but you have to at times "fake it until you make it". Put yourself FIRST, understand that selflessness isn't a virtue. Living this way will deplete you. I'm 43 and am just now learning to take all of the love, concern, protection and compassion and am giving it to myself! I'm 19 days NC and it's getting easier. Self love takes the long view, it's a very wise emotional state. These bad relationships are addictive, you gotta look out for your own best interests. You deserve it and so do I! Best of luck on your healing journey ❤
I’ve been goin thru this shit for years and nobody I’ve talked to gives it to you straight like this man. It’s exactly what I needed to hear and RIGHT ON TIME! Bless you.
Wow, what an episode. Toxic people target everyone. It's in the interest of all of us (including narcissists) to stop accepting toxic behaviours. It's difficult to realise we were fooled, attacked, and we lost - leaving is the only way to stop losing further.
I LOVE when you said “good that you’re not the same anymore-the old you attracted the narcissist” I used to say I miss the old me BUT no more-I recently found out that very thing! I am becoming a better person. Determined to get out of this horrible relationship with the narc. Thankful for the lessons but time to GO! I’m trying really hard.
OMG! I'm so glad I "accidentally" found your account. I knew something was up with this person I was dating. I kept telling them ( and myself ) they were too good to be true. Here I am a year plus later and the love bombing has stopped; the belittling and gaslighting has appeared and levelled up times a one hundred; and so much more. Now I'm at no contact for just under 30 days with so much info that I can't see myself ever going there again. This particular episode made me realize that I TOTALLY LOVE ME MORE!!! 🥰 God bless you and your journey!
He told me he loved me after a week of talking, we hadn't met in person, he was 53 and I was 29, he proposed after 5 weeks and was moving in by then, he went from claiming I was his soulmate and he loved me more than anything imaginable to cheating, extreme porn, paying for only fans, so controlling, threw all my things away, changed my whole house, lying to my face, gaslighting me, had me sobbing and begging for forgiveness for not trusting him and let me cry myself to sleep while telling me I was so delusional while he KNEW he was lying and I was right... absolutely destroyed me... I scream cry hysterically because I can't get over this pain and betrayal... I found his cheating the day before my 30th birthday... absolutely broke me 😢
I am praying for your healing.. I know it's lonely but you are going to have to focus on your own life now and try to live each day dmfor your well being.. Sending you hugs I feel your pain it is horrible I have been there.. Only the most high God can save us
Lee, I found you only two weeks ago, but watching your videos nonstop has given me the recognition of what I was actually allowing myself to go through for the last 16 years, and I asked for a divorce yesterday. I’m heartbroken, but also relieved. I definitely have a trauma bond with him, and hoping that I can do some radical changing of how I treat myself so I can break it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all you’re doing by being vulnerable and humbling yourself to give us the narcissist’s perspective. You’re changing and saving lives.
Hi I saw your post to Lee. It's indeed a difficult journey to healing from abuse. I hope that things are going well for you. Yes, there may be setbacks on the journey, but continue to grow and heal along the way! As empath's, we certainly need to learn to love ourselves as that's what got us attracted to the narcissist in the first place. God bless!
Oh, I thought "trauma bond" meant sympathizing with what the narcissist may have suffered as a child...My fiance talked about how his mom treated him as a child, and I was completely taken by it: how she devalued him, didn't like any of his girlfriends, etc...Then one day he screamed out: "I will never let another woman treat me like that"!!!
Lee, I believe there is a reason why things happen to us. Perhaps the reason you experienced the trauma of dating a narcissist is so that you could understand how we feel. I appreciated you sharing your story because it made me feel like you could relate to what we have gone through with narcissistic abuse/ trauma bond. We know it wasn't easy for you to talk about. Thank you for sharing. 💜
That is Fact Lee! When I get that thought “Aww Feeling “ I think of all the stuff that was done that hurt me on a personal level. And then I get Strong and I get these Nah not me attitude.
How ANYONE could ever become tired of CHEEK CLAPPIN, CLAPPIN CHEEKS, GETTIN YA CHEEKS CLAPPED 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻... I will NEVER understand. Keep doing you Lee. Haters gon hate.
Ha! Funny. I've finally quit ignoring my anger and he keeps telling me "I need to quit holding onto it" (you know so I'll take him back) 🤣 You helped confirm my need to acknowledge it and quit looking past it.
Damn...spot on. Will leave you then blame you for it! I always thought it was so clever and mind bending how he would mess up...then become the victim...then hurt/discard...then blame me...and in the midst of me trying to get him to understand what and how he hurt me...he would be doing the same thing before I even realized. What a mind f#$*
Yes and much more and have the nerve to laugh at at My Pain I can relate to everyone I'm going through it then going through it for too long it's my mother and my husband for over 33 years may God bless us we are strong will survivors will get through this I'm so thankful to everyone everyone thank you God bless!💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏
Yep! He would find a BS reason to break up, then proceed to insult and blame me, then tell me I lost a good man and will regret it. Like he wanted me to fight cry and beg him to take me back, when I didn't do anything in the first place???! So sick. TOTAL MINDF*** for sure.
I said to my boyfriend something I said about clapping cheeks and he looked at me weirdly and then bursted out laughing and asked me where I heard that from I said I've been watching Lee ❤
This was a good one! Because I don’t think I’m a narcissist but I combatted him in every way. He did ware me down but I always stood up to him!! I’d demand accountability and if he didn’t give it k then you won’t see me and you can call me 100 times a day and I’m not letting it go. Maybe I’m stubborn. I’d just mirror everything he did. I got to the point of if I had food and he wanted it I’d charge him. I did eventually cut him off. Changed my number. Snippity snip bisssshhhh. Im still healing though.
18 years and I'm an empath. Thought I could fix him.wanted him to know I wasn't giving up. I know now I can't fix him but I'm still here. I told him earlier today that that's why I get distant. No use crying and begging for attention when I know I won't get it. I'm now closed down. I hate it.
This makes total sense!! Learning so much from your channel!!! I did everything for my husband. As soon as I our son was born, I started asking for help with our kids, he dipped out. He had a girl he worked with (who was married still) within 3 weeks. Honestly I think he cheated before he moved out because he went to coffee with her to “help her” with interview questions to get his old job position since he switched jobs. Claims she was happily married. . . Then claimed her husband was abusive & he’s only helping her get on her feet months later they’re dating 🙄
I like how you addressed those who accuse you of victim blaming. While it's never a survivor's fault for the abuse, it is our responsibility to figure out how to avoid this. We're responsible for how we show up in relationships. Being gentle with me and feeling sorry for what I've been through isn't what motivated me to start setting boundaries. I needed to hear in a straightforward manner that I am playing a role in it. Gaining accountability and insight into my own toxic behaviors is helping me realize why I perpetually (albeit inadvertantly) invite narcissists in my life. I love how direct you are. It's needed. p.s. I love the cheek clapping commentary :D
Thank you so much for that rebuttal to feeling like you have lost who you used to be🤍 Who I used to be attracted and kept the toxic people around me. Now I can build myself back up stronger 💪🏾
It was HARD at first but cutting off the narcs in my life, (My parents and my ex) has been the BEST DECISION I'VE MADE IN A LONG TIME. Every day, I learn more and I get a little freer. I'm glad AF they discarded me because it means they can't control me. I'm the process of the GLOW UP and I'm learning to love, depend on and control ME. No other person will ever control me again!!!! I WANT a narcissist to not like me because they know I'm not about to kiss their ass or bend to their will. I'm ME and the more they hate it, the more I love it!! 💪🏾💪🏾💯🥰
That’s exactly what happened it’s to much pain an Im over it .. he loves to say well what about the good times I look at him like are you serious right now… your the ish Lee Fr as I was healing I was hiding he had me isolated now I’m back stronger then ever because of your videos …♏️
Good eve. Lee, yes I am working on loving myself more!! I was good to the person I was with, never cheated on him even though he would say things like I bet you don't be at work, was verbally and physically abusive! I feel so good finally being able to get him out of my life! I come home to a peaceful environment, I'm starting to lose weight, people who know me couldn't believe I had gotten myself in such a controlling relationship! I couldn't believe it either. But I finally free to live my life the way I should! Like you said the longer you stay, the worse it gets!!!
The narc that I know has been to therapy for over 25 years...one therapist identified his narc traits....he fired her....the current therapist yeses and enables him...The narc makes good money pays 150 dollars per session and the therapist never questions the way he juggles relationships and uses woman...I believe he "read" him and decided to pump him up and collect.....I was in ONE session with the therapist...the narc paid..I began to cry and as I began to speak about the confusion and depre4ssion I had..the narc barged in and the therapist focused on the narc......and it became HIS session...
This was so good. When you said to build a better you, that really resonated with me. It wasn't just the 30 yrs covert narc abuse, but I was also gangstalked. And I always said, they tried to kill me then?? Well then, they did kill me. But I didn't know what to do with it. But when you said build a better you, Wow!! This was excellent! And exactly what I needed. Thank you for a fresh outlook.
This is by far one of the best videos I’ve watched ever - I’ve been working on this since 2014 when I first watched a video on Narc abuse! Thank you so much ❤
I FEEL IN LOVE TODAY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I fell in love today With a beautiful person Who has the biggest heart I've ever seen As long as I can remember I know for myself Loving the Lord consistently Very loyal with 100% sincerity Knowing this person Before they were born growing up striving To make everyone proud Doing the right thing Regardless the crowd It's a woman I'm in love with Not realizing just how strong Always loving everyone else Creating many bonds This 46 year old Is a woman That's who it is Her name is Tracy Who today I fell in love with As I now understand I'm God's beautiful daughter Who He planned and created Himself I now know this woman Deserves nothing but the best It took a long time Passing this test I realized today God gave me a gift That's free... I finally fell In love With a woman That person being ME!
Mines idea of validation is " your really nice, When you want to be" and my personal favorite " we'd have the perfect relationship if only YOU would change everything about yourself to please ME" Boy am I special
53 and finally free!!! I have had Narcissistic and toxic people in my life since birth. I am a very smart person. Creative, resilient and living my life in the mindset of being able to recognize and understand the need of and for the people I encounter and or bring into my heart. All humans need something. But I will no longer entertain anyone who puts conditions on my personality, dreams, physical being, beliefs or circumstances. I have been a survivor from my first breath. I will never be a puppet again.
It feels like a chore to find yourself again sometimes. I went and did some of the things I liked to do before I met them but it felt like I was faking it. I've never heard it said outright that it's a good thing you're a different person and that helps to hear a lot. I felt like a part of me wasn't healing no matter how hard I tried because I just didn't like those things anymore and now I see that I was wrong. I could see the mask slip as you said goodbye and that remembering your toxic relationship turned on that narc rage. I think you deserve to let that relationship affect you less and less but I won't be sending any well wishes, respectfully. It's not my place to ease your karma. You seem to be doing that all on your own by sharing these messages and I thank you.
I gave him everything. My Heart, love, the contents if my house, money, food, attention. When I told him I had Cancer and was scared, he told me off for crying and laughed at me as I walked away from him because I couldn't take anymore. That's what I got, laughter after I left myself without food to make sure he didn't go without. 🍒
Thank you, this happened to me. Why do they make us drop everything for them then they get bored of us. I wish I kept my hobbies and my life as now I have to find it again. It’s so so hard.
Great video! Replacing what I thought were good times with all the bad definitely helps to break the trauma bond bc the truth is it was all fake. The narcissist never truly loved me like I did for him. He used me and then like Lee said, when he saw no more value in me as a supply, he discarded me for a new supply who could start giving him the 100’s again. That’s a fact bc that’s how a narcissist operates.
I think a part of it is the profound exclusiveness ofvthe vwith the narcissist. The narcissist often presents as having very few social contacts, and they work to separate you from your support system. The narcissist I was involved with early on told me he was my best friend and told me I didn't need to see a counselor because I could talk to him. The narcissist becomes your world. -The love bombing to get you hooked, then the bread crumbing to keep you anxious and insecure, grateful for attention, even destructive attention.
I felt err word u said..I've disconnected and begun 2 put tht love I put on him 2 myself..I now realize what I've been hearing 4 the longest..he does not deserve me..I deserve so much better..and imma find it 💯💯
It is very hard moving on, & Yes 🙌🏻 don’t react. Take all that “pleasure” you had w/the narc you need to find ways to make yourself happy. Taking all that love you gave the narc turn it & give that love & care to yourself. Took me almost a year with this last narc to realize I had been dealing with narcissists my whole life & I’m a codependent & a “rescuer”.
You're not codependent you struggle with codependency as well as myself hoping you're doing better now God bless everyone I can relate to everything I'm going through it myself now and been going through it I'm 53 years Young may God bless everyone I'm so grateful to have found you you're helping me so much and I appreciate it all the best may God continue to bless you!💋💞🌷💪🙏
OMG man thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!! Am an Empath my child father is a narcissist we just left well he got caught cheating and move out and block me from finances left me with kids and pets and debts no said no nothing!!
Sorry to hear that ...prayers ❤ it hard for me too plz take notice once they move out they're working extra hard to secure a new supply don't let them string u along like I did... just know they're looking to replace you
Also, it’s easy for the narcissistic person to discard their partner bc they don’t respect the partner. And a lot of that is bc the partner doesn’t respect themselves, and the narcissistic person sees that. It’s hard to be attracted to someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
I'm so glad I saw your video. I'm still healing and putting God first hoping to find love someday. I was with my ex narcassist boyfriend for 11 years. It's hard to move on and heal
Seriously can't thank you enough for this video. I feel like I've been doing well on my own, realizing how deeply his emotional abuse damaged my wellness and doing my best to focus on building and healing myself, however, yesterday I was forced to spend hours in VERY close proximity to him (I'm still contracted out for one final gig in his band) and it just sent me spiraling!!!! How this person has such an enormous power over me is truly sickening 💔 My last gig with him is towards the end of August and I'm making it a top priority to never put myself in another situation where I have to see his face, hear his voice or hear anything about him. Even if it means cutting off everyone, at this point I simply don't care because that's how low he brought me down. I don't ever want to get to the point where I try to stop the pain by attempting to end my life over a sad, pathetic little man. At these gigs I keep my head high and try my best not to interact with him in any capacity but it doesn't matter, the presence alone is enough to crumble me. It's pathetic! I feel pathetic!!!! So thank you for thus video because it's helping me get back on track. I just hate how far back down I end up dropping after sharing space with him. Just sucks.
On what u were.sayjn about ppl acceptin less...I feel that too many ppl gage their self worth on weatber or not they are alone... ppl who say , " i just cant sleep alone." I have an uncle like that.... he is on marage #3 that is toxic and 2 kids by 2 diff women. You teach ppl how to teach you. Someone once told me this and it has really resonated with me, " The way somone treats you, is a reflection of how they value you in their life". ( i guess u could say, how they value you or IF they value u)
For the believers out there, when you understand the value God sees in you, you’ll start to love yourself. I recommend the series “U R loved” by pastor Michael Todd. This same series is when my spiritual Christ encounter. You’ll thank me later ❤️
I don't believe in coincidence and I've been having these types videos appear on my TH-cam thread. I have suffered a major seizure causing my heart to stop. Afterwards, having recently suffered two strokes and uncountable seizures . I now have been going to therapy and been told that I am codependent and was willing to go through hell and back just to be loved. I am still learning to deal with this. I've never heard of Narcissism until last year and all the things that you've been mentioning, I've experienced. The feeling alone and questioning why? I am still having to work through this because we have a child together. I find myself withdrawn from even entertaining another relationship. Each time I see a new video of yours, I get valuable insight and information to help me cope. Thank you so much! Sincerely, Charles Blake.
Yes! You're absolutely right. They deserved $1. I def gave more. I didn't get what I deserved at all. Thanks for the videos. It puts things in perspective. I even told him he doesn't value me anymore. This confirms it all.
I always thought trauma bond was a woo word buzz word on social.... And you just explained in one minute why I went back to my abuser after he almost killed me. I couldn't connect with anyone but him because of what he did to me. I never knew it was so simple to explain....
I thank you so much Lee, for sharing yourself with us. I need to start focusing on me .. I fall back to those “good” feelings .. and think he’ll be destroyed emotionally if I actually file for divorce.. I know it makes No sense to think that way. I need to break my bond of 44 years. Yet want to stay kind afterwards as fellow parent and grandparent. I believe God helped me find you here to help myself break the bond completely and become who I was meant to be .. a person in peace with God .. maybe I’ll eat able to help others in future
I also know it must still be eating me inside. I should have gone to sleep 6 hours ago! Red to wake in couple hours.. thankful time included to listen to you tho
That's a really good way to look at it! It's good I'm not who I used to be because I clearly had issues to get myself in this situation and to stay this long.
Yup. This is exactly right. I focused on the good things off and on for three years. Three months he'd be perfect. Then he would go cold and act narcissistic. I've had to focus on the negative times to create boundaries. But it took me time to.
Lee: Thanks for opening up with the truth, and your personal life's situation. The problem is just like the narcissist, the empath is damaged too. Actually they can both be in the same family 👪. It's all on how you process the trauma. Both have a love decificet. ❤️ The narcissist chooses to hate their caregiver, and takes on that "nature / spirit " and become self absorbed like their abusive care giver. The empath chooses to make excuses for the abusive care giver and ends up blaming themselves for the abuse, even to the point of defending their abuser (Stockholm syndrome). The empath tries to over compensate by giving themselves away, and prioritizing their partner (and yes they believe they can heal their partner by giving themselves away and loving even more). The truth is there's only one person we can change and that's ourselves. The biggest thing is coming to the point of self care and learning to love yourself in a healthy manner and getting the validation that was absent in childhood. For both the narcissist and the empath its a difficult journey to healing and understanding how we ended up on whichever side of the coin we fell (heads you're a narcissist, tails you're an empath). It's all a part of our journey here on earth, and learning and growing from the experience. Self validation, and reparenting the inner child in order to change the paradigm and make the shift isn't easy, but it's necessary for our spiritual growth. God bless you. 🙏 It's a spiritual battle going on in this world 🌎. Stay strong. Yes, I've seen demons 😈, but when we truly give our life to Jesus Christ, he can make it a whole lot easier when we give priority to Him, as He has overcome the world.
Amen thank you so much everything you have said my words I think you and everyone here so much God bless you all I really appreciate all this is helping me so much stay strong keep the faith keep your head up with survivors to God any and everything is possible we will get through this God bless Amen!💋💞💞🌷💪🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
It doesn't matter your age, find that self love! Took me 47yrs I finally love myself🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You got it 💪🏼
Same here 😊
Sooooo happy for you!!!
God Bless You on your journey 🤍
Took me 50
Tbh, the one thing that kept me going back was the good sex and good times. I worried I'd never find that passion again but it's not enough to destroy my life for.
that is my one thing that I dont want to let go as well.. he pushed buttons while having Sex that I didnt even knew existed
I wanna learn how to give me girl that kinda sex
Lee, as an “empath” I don’t think of myself as more empathetic than everyone else, BUT when you cross an empath and attempt to destroy them through narcissistic behaviors, some empaths have a lot of narcissistic tendencies that come out as a defense mechanism and act out. Kind of like reactive abuse.
It's not narcissistic to fiercely defend yourself - it's constructive. Narcissism is destructive, as in, someone comes along and slowly destroys you, unprovoked. It's an unnecessary full-front attack. Defending yourself is normal, good, and constructive. Constructive vs destructive, that's the whole difference.
There were many times after I felt I was pushed to my limits where I lashed out at him. There are no words I could use to describe how I felt. All I remember is the pain and anger I felt towards him. I did terrible things like punching, biting and kicking. It was like my body and spirit was fighting for its soul and as I hurt him I swear he enjoyed it as he played the Victim. I couldn't forgive myself for a while and felt so ashamed, but I eventually managed it. I forgave myself for going back. I forgave myself for loving him. I forgave myself for not believing I deserved better. I forgave myself for being human with feelings. 🍒
I absolutely love your response. And this is exactly what I’m going through right now. And I’m hurt deeply but I also love him. It hurts to leave but it hurts more to stay.
A fact. & we are stronger than them 😭
Omg me too!!!!😩😩🥺🙏🏾
"If you accept less, you'll get less"
🎯🎯
❤❤
I saw my narcissistic exes level of evil the day I moved out. I lived next door & he had flown over from abroad his new supply. He knew it was over & he showed me 0 remorse. I later found out through someone that he had been seeing his new supply abroad for some time. Silly me thought he was just going abroad to destress. I was used until he could get back abroad & find a younger supply. He also used me to make money. As I was carrying my belongings to the truck, he picked a fight with me & called me a loser, & a fat B***h, I stayed calm & just kept walking. She's welcome to him, God help her.
Don't let yourself be trapped in a relationship with someone who is incapable of loving and caring about you the way you deserve to be loved and cared about
My narc said “you deserve better, go find better” in another incident he said “I’m a selfish prick”
Wow! “Accepting 1.00 and giving 100” ! That was a powerful visual
Yes 🙌🏻 I totally agree 💯
Riiiiggghhtt!!!! It’s accurate
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Thank you
And it explains that weird feeling that you have when you ask yourself: if the narc is loving me, why do I feel so completely empty?? I just spent 24 hours with them.... what's wrong here??
That’s fire
Self-love is no. 1 rule. If you have Self-love you can put in place boundaries (for you and others) and accept consequences of your boundaries with no regret.
💯
Replace the good thoughts from the love bombing phase with the horrific treatment/thoughts/emotions/feelings from the monster's discard; this will help you break it the trauma bond.
I don't believe every person with narcissistic traits is hopeless, helpless, or less than any other person. They aren't incapable of change, but it's up to you if you are willing and able to support them through such a scary journey. I wish the majority of society wouldn't see people as "evil" just because some aspects of their personality can be attached to a word with negative connotation. Not saying anyone should decide to stay. But it scares me how much narcissistic people are talked about on other TH-cam channels like they aren't humans
Just walked away from a 3 year relationship with a narcissist. Poured my all into him and got nothing in return but a broken heart! I'm going through healing process now and so grateful for your vedios! It's helping me to learn and understand how a narcissist really functions! Thank you for being very open, transparent and using your experience to help so many people!!
I wish I could get angry I’m in pain I can’t eat sleep, eat, can’t move. I’m stuck. I pray that one day I will look back at this and say what in the hell was I doing and thinking. But it’s so new and raw. Day One. Prayers to everyone suffering and going thru the pain. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Keep your head up and stay away! You are going to be okay Annemarie!! Stay focused on you!!
Remember to eat, pray everyday , mediate, fuel your body and take short walks outside...throw on your shades if you have too! I know that stuck feeling. Remember...the way someone treats you is more important than how much you love them. I will pray for you.
Been there! Being discarded was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I let it happen twice with two different narcissists. Didn’t recognize the signs the second time. I see you posted a year ago, I trust that you’re doing so much better now. ❤
I have noticed that a common thing with Narcissistic Men is that they are Highly Sexual, this shows how shallow their depth is.
The Narcissist I was with did not have any conversation, there was nothing to talk about accept him making Sexual advances.
Damn!!
"I lost myself, I don't know who I am anymore."
"Good. You think it's a bad thing but who you were got you with a narcissist"
🤯🤯🤯
Holy moly did this hit hard! I've been struggling with this. I liked who I was and have been feeling such shame and unsure of myself. Been trying to get back to "the old me" unsuccessfully. I've been feeling damaged.
But you are absolutely right. I'll never be who I was before the abuse but I don't need to mourn that. The person I was (as much as I liked her) was vulnerable and an easy target. She didn't know how to set boundaries and take care of her own needs first.
Maybe I don't know who I am anymore but I at least know what I don't want to be. That's a start. The start of becoming who I really want to be.
Identifying my own wants and needs has been so hard, I'm not sure how. I'm so used to always putting others first.
Thank you so much Lee!!
The work you are doing is more valuable than I can say. Please continue, with my sincere thanks 👏🙏🙏
While I was burning a letter with my ex husband’s name on it last night in attempt to release his residual energy from me, my phone received a notification for this video. The irony of that! Thanks for doing what you’re doing by breaking the cycle of toxicity! ❤️🔥
Love that!
😇
Wow! I never judge who God choose to use for a valuable lesson
Burning a letter?!?! What type of witchcraft is this?!?!
It’s a physical manifestation of setting an intention to break away mentally and emotionally from something or someone. It isn’t witchcraft. It’s a method of reframing your mind
I demanded a lot from the narcissist (this only helped a bit), but I was caught in a trauma bond. I was miserable, desperately wanted to leave but could not. I finally did, it was when I realized he wouldn't change. But while in the thick of it, I came to the conclusion that the "intensity" is like a magnet. It's extremely confusing & awful.
Glad you were able to finally leave!
You have explained my life over 20 years in 18 minutes. Thank you for your transparency. I am ready to heal.
you’re welcome
Self love is your ticket out. It's not easy, but you have to at times "fake it until you make it". Put yourself FIRST, understand that selflessness isn't a virtue. Living this way will deplete you. I'm 43 and am just now learning to take all of the love, concern, protection and compassion and am giving it to myself! I'm 19 days NC and it's getting easier. Self love takes the long view, it's a very wise emotional state. These bad relationships are addictive, you gotta look out for your own best interests. You deserve it and so do I! Best of luck on your healing journey ❤
I’ve been goin thru this shit for years and nobody I’ve talked to gives it to you straight like this man. It’s exactly what I needed to hear and RIGHT ON TIME! Bless you.
Bless you as well
Congrat to you Stephanie on your BRAND NEW HEART ❤. Live your life to the fullest. Life is beautiful
Wow, what an episode. Toxic people target everyone. It's in the interest of all of us (including narcissists) to stop accepting toxic behaviours. It's difficult to realise we were fooled, attacked, and we lost - leaving is the only way to stop losing further.
‼️‼️‼️
Great video… peg leg… got it
Yeah and children need to stop being programmed to stand by your partner and all that other mess.
I LOVE when you said “good that you’re not the same anymore-the old you attracted the narcissist” I used to say I miss the old me BUT no more-I recently found out that very thing! I am becoming a better person. Determined to get out of this horrible relationship with the narc. Thankful for the lessons but time to GO! I’m trying really hard.
When you taught me they make you fall in love with yourself. That changed my pain. Profoundly. I am amazing, I can see why I fell so hard for me 🤗🥰
OMG! I'm so glad I "accidentally" found your account. I knew something was up with this person I was dating. I kept telling them ( and myself ) they were too good to be true. Here I am a year plus later and the love bombing has stopped; the belittling and gaslighting has appeared and levelled up times a one hundred; and so much more. Now I'm at no contact for just under 30 days with so much info that I can't see myself ever going there again. This particular episode made me realize that I TOTALLY LOVE ME MORE!!! 🥰 God bless you and your journey!
Ooohhh I needed this
He told me he loved me after a week of talking, we hadn't met in person, he was 53 and I was 29, he proposed after 5 weeks and was moving in by then, he went from claiming I was his soulmate and he loved me more than anything imaginable to cheating, extreme porn, paying for only fans, so controlling, threw all my things away, changed my whole house, lying to my face, gaslighting me, had me sobbing and begging for forgiveness for not trusting him and let me cry myself to sleep while telling me I was so delusional while he KNEW he was lying and I was right... absolutely destroyed me... I scream cry hysterically because I can't get over this pain and betrayal... I found his cheating the day before my 30th birthday... absolutely broke me 😢
I am praying for your healing.. I know it's lonely but you are going to have to focus on your own life now and try to live each day dmfor your well being.. Sending you hugs I feel your pain it is horrible I have been there.. Only the most high God can save us
At 16:29 thas where I'm at, can't eat losing weight, angry crying like how did I fall for this .
Lee, I found you only two weeks ago, but watching your videos nonstop has given me the recognition of what I was actually allowing myself to go through for the last 16 years, and I asked for a divorce yesterday. I’m heartbroken, but also relieved. I definitely have a trauma bond with him, and hoping that I can do some radical changing of how I treat myself so I can break it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all you’re doing by being vulnerable and humbling yourself to give us the narcissist’s perspective. You’re changing and saving lives.
Hi I saw your post to Lee. It's indeed a difficult journey to healing from abuse.
I hope that things are going well for you.
Yes, there may be setbacks on the journey, but continue to grow and heal along the way!
As empath's, we certainly need to learn to love ourselves as that's what got us attracted to the narcissist in the first place. God bless!
Best wishes : )
ive cut my narc off, living my best life
💪🏼
Dance break time!!💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾congrats!!
U give them soo much of u that u don’t have the energy to give the same effort to urself! It’s really sad
Love bombing is everything! 😢 so darn toxic
💯💯
This is exactly how our infinite soul gets roped in by our own egos. 💙 Narcissists just show us how it's done.
💜
I barely remember the bad which is nuts
😳😢🥺
Oh, I thought "trauma bond" meant sympathizing with what the narcissist may have suffered as a child...My fiance talked about how his mom treated him as a child, and I was completely taken by it: how she devalued him, didn't like any of his girlfriends, etc...Then one day he screamed out: "I will never let another woman treat me like that"!!!
Lee, I believe there is a reason why things happen to us. Perhaps the reason you experienced the trauma of dating a narcissist is so that you could understand how we feel. I appreciated you sharing your story because it made me feel like you could relate to what we have gone through with narcissistic abuse/ trauma bond. We know it wasn't easy for you to talk about. Thank you for sharing. 💜
That is Fact Lee! When I get that thought “Aww Feeling “ I think of all the stuff that was done that hurt me on a personal level. And then I get Strong and I get these Nah not me attitude.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Yes, I’ve been doing that awhile now-reminding myself of all the horrible things that were done and even did recently.
💯💯 I do that too. I get those feelings of what was wonderful and then remind myself of the bad.
I keep a written light book, each time I get devaluing, humiliation etc...I write it down along with how I feel. I read it when I feel weak
I'm rewatching your videos so I can stay committed to leaving next month😞
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 stay safe
Rosie RB I really hope you managed to break away and good on Lee Hammock for what he's doing! ❤
We’re you able to break free? I hope so. If not, I’m praying for strength to be able to.
How ANYONE could ever become tired of CHEEK CLAPPIN, CLAPPIN CHEEKS, GETTIN YA CHEEKS CLAPPED 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻... I will NEVER understand. Keep doing you Lee. Haters gon hate.
my thoughts exactly lol. I appreciate it
Ha! Funny. I've finally quit ignoring my anger and he keeps telling me "I need to quit holding onto it" (you know so I'll take him back) 🤣 You helped confirm my need to acknowledge it and quit looking past it.
I asked God to point me to the video I need to break free from this narcissist, closed my eyes and randomly clicked on this video...
Damn...spot on. Will leave you then blame you for it! I always thought it was so clever and mind bending how he would mess up...then become the victim...then hurt/discard...then blame me...and in the midst of me trying to get him to understand what and how he hurt me...he would be doing the same thing before I even realized. What a mind f#$*
The worst mental/emotional betrayal hurt ever
Yes and much more and have the nerve to laugh at at My Pain I can relate to everyone I'm going through it then going through it for too long it's my mother and my husband for over 33 years may God bless us we are strong will survivors will get through this I'm so thankful to everyone everyone thank you God bless!💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏
Yep! He would find a BS reason to break up, then proceed to insult and blame me, then tell me I lost a good man and will regret it.
Like he wanted me to fight cry and beg him to take me back, when I didn't do anything in the first place???!
So sick. TOTAL MINDF*** for sure.
I said to my boyfriend something I said about clapping cheeks and he looked at me weirdly and then bursted out laughing and asked me where I heard that from I said I've been watching Lee ❤
Hell yes think about the bad times not just the good….. that’s exactly what I did and thinking about the bad really puts it into prospective
This was a good one! Because I don’t think I’m a narcissist but I combatted him in every way. He did ware me down but I always stood up to him!! I’d demand accountability and if he didn’t give it k then you won’t see me and you can call me 100 times a day and I’m not letting it go. Maybe I’m stubborn.
I’d just mirror everything he did.
I got to the point of if I had food and he wanted it I’d charge him.
I did eventually cut him off. Changed my number. Snippity snip bisssshhhh.
Im still healing though.
Lee your laugh is infectious for real. It actually helps , it puts a smile on many empath faces a short shift from their Trauma bond feeling 🤣
18 years and I'm an empath. Thought I could fix him.wanted him to know I wasn't giving up. I know now I can't fix him but I'm still here. I told him earlier today that that's why I get distant. No use crying and begging for attention when I know I won't get it. I'm now closed down. I hate it.
stay empowered
This makes total sense!! Learning so much from your channel!!!
I did everything for my husband.
As soon as I our son was born, I started asking for help with our kids, he dipped out. He had a girl he worked with (who was married still) within 3 weeks. Honestly I think he cheated before he moved out because he went to coffee with her to “help her” with interview questions to get his old job position since he switched jobs. Claims she was happily married. . . Then claimed her husband was abusive & he’s only helping her get on her feet months later they’re dating 🙄
It’s ironic he uses money and love interchangeably because narcissist absolutely drain you of both.
I like how you addressed those who accuse you of victim blaming. While it's never a survivor's fault for the abuse, it is our responsibility to figure out how to avoid this. We're responsible for how we show up in relationships. Being gentle with me and feeling sorry for what I've been through isn't what motivated me to start setting boundaries. I needed to hear in a straightforward manner that I am playing a role in it. Gaining accountability and insight into my own toxic behaviors is helping me realize why I perpetually (albeit inadvertantly) invite narcissists in my life. I love how direct you are. It's needed.
p.s. I love the cheek clapping commentary :D
Thank you so much for that rebuttal to feeling like you have lost who you used to be🤍 Who I used to be attracted and kept the toxic people around me. Now I can build myself back up stronger 💪🏾
Reconnecting to myself has been a beautiful experience❤❤❤❤ I'm reconnecting to me all life long ❤❤❤❤❤
❤️
I like your authenticity - how you mimic and talk -and your advice!🙂🌟
Thank you
👏 👏 Impressive accountability
Clapping...your trademark
🙏🏽
I watch you everyday you be a great life coach 💯
Thank you
I’m your 2nd subscriber!
It was HARD at first but cutting off the narcs in my life, (My parents and my ex) has been the BEST DECISION I'VE MADE IN A LONG TIME. Every day, I learn more and I get a little freer. I'm glad AF they discarded me because it means they can't control me. I'm the process of the GLOW UP and I'm learning to love, depend on and control ME.
No other person will ever control me again!!!! I WANT a narcissist to not like me because they know I'm not about to kiss their ass or bend to their will. I'm ME and the more they hate it, the more I love it!! 💪🏾💪🏾💯🥰
I really did hyper focus on every moment of the past 9 years, all about him and pleasing him and his needs, he did nothing I asked for! I'm broken !
You’re actually really good at explaining this stuff.
That’s exactly what happened it’s to much pain an Im over it .. he loves to say well what about the good times I look at him like are you serious right now… your the ish Lee Fr as I was healing I was hiding he had me isolated now I’m back stronger then ever because of your videos …♏️
“ i lost who I was, Idk who I am anymore”
Lee: Good! Who you are and who were, got the narcissist. You need a BETTER version of yourself. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽❤💃
♥️
Do not react! Sometimes it's easier said than done, but with practice it is possible. I'm getting there!💖💥
🙃
Good eve. Lee, yes I am working on loving myself more!! I was good to the person I was with, never cheated on him even though he would say things like I bet you don't be at work, was verbally and physically abusive! I feel so good finally being able to get him out of my life! I come home to a peaceful environment, I'm starting to lose weight, people who know me couldn't believe I had gotten myself in such a controlling relationship! I couldn't believe it either. But I finally free to live my life the way I should! Like you said the longer you stay, the worse it gets!!!
I feel like a junky. Miss him so much.
😩
The narc that I know has been to therapy for over 25 years...one therapist identified his narc traits....he fired her....the current therapist yeses and enables him...The narc makes good money pays 150 dollars per session and the therapist never questions the way he juggles relationships and uses woman...I believe he "read" him and decided to pump him up and collect.....I was in ONE session with the therapist...the narc paid..I began to cry and as I began to speak about the confusion and depre4ssion I had..the narc barged in and the therapist focused on the narc......and it became HIS session...
Lee, most of the time people where treated bad in the family they came from. They don't know how much they are truly worthed.
This makes so much sense, this is me ❤️🇮🇪
U just turned a light on for me , ❤️🇮🇪
This was so good. When you said to build a better you, that really resonated with me. It wasn't just the 30 yrs covert narc abuse, but I was also gangstalked. And I always said, they tried to kill me then?? Well then, they did kill me. But I didn't know what to do with it. But when you said build a better you, Wow!! This was excellent! And exactly what I needed. Thank you for a fresh outlook.
Love how you said that you reversed the energy to take care of yourself..credit back to school get that bag up...
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
This is by far one of the best videos I’ve watched ever - I’ve been working on this since 2014 when I first watched a video on Narc abuse! Thank you so much ❤
I dont want less anymore. I will take care of me. I am an empath and I give and give and give. I need the 100% break and not see him or talk to him.
Lee you are so funny,
You and them cheek clapping lmbo!!
😂 appreciate it
Lee , you’re helping so many. Give yourself some GRACE!!
I FEEL IN LOVE TODAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I fell in love today
With a beautiful person
Who has the biggest heart I've ever seen
As long as I can remember
I know for myself
Loving the Lord consistently
Very loyal with
100% sincerity
Knowing this person
Before they were born
growing up striving
To make everyone proud
Doing the right thing
Regardless the crowd
It's a woman
I'm in love with
Not realizing just how strong
Always loving everyone else
Creating many bonds
This 46 year old Is a woman
That's who it is
Her name is Tracy
Who today I fell in love with
As I now understand
I'm God's beautiful daughter
Who He planned and created Himself
I now know this woman
Deserves nothing but the best
It took a long time
Passing this test
I realized today
God gave me a gift
That's free...
I finally fell In love
With a woman
That person being ME!
♥️
👏👏👏👏👏❤️ keep going..the narc has not won..taking you away from FATHER GOD ♥️ that Is their MAIN GOAL ..👏👏👏👏👏
Mines idea of validation is " your really nice, When you want to be" and my personal favorite " we'd have the perfect relationship if only YOU would change everything about yourself to please ME"
Boy am I special
53 and finally free!!! I have had Narcissistic and toxic people in my life since birth. I am a very smart person. Creative, resilient and living my life in the mindset of being able to recognize and understand the need of and for the people I encounter and or bring into my heart. All humans need something. But I will no longer entertain anyone who puts conditions on my personality, dreams, physical being, beliefs or circumstances. I have been a survivor from my first breath. I will never be a puppet again.
Leeeee! You are so hilarious in this video!!!
It's the cheek clapping for me!
Glad you liked it!!😂😂
It feels like a chore to find yourself again sometimes. I went and did some of the things I liked to do before I met them but it felt like I was faking it. I've never heard it said outright that it's a good thing you're a different person and that helps to hear a lot. I felt like a part of me wasn't healing no matter how hard I tried because I just didn't like those things anymore and now I see that I was wrong. I could see the mask slip as you said goodbye and that remembering your toxic relationship turned on that narc rage. I think you deserve to let that relationship affect you less and less but I won't be sending any well wishes, respectfully. It's not my place to ease your karma. You seem to be doing that all on your own by sharing these messages and I thank you.
I gave him everything. My Heart, love, the contents if my house, money, food, attention. When I told him I had Cancer and was scared, he told me off for crying and laughed at me as I walked away from him because I couldn't take anymore. That's what I got, laughter after I left myself without food to make sure he didn't go without. 🍒
Attach that pain!!!
This is a breakthrough.
Thank you, this happened to me. Why do they make us drop everything for them then they get bored of us. I wish I kept my hobbies and my life as now I have to find it again. It’s so so hard.
Great video! Replacing what I thought were good times with all the bad definitely helps to break the trauma bond bc the truth is it was all fake. The narcissist never truly loved me like I did for him. He used me and then like Lee said, when he saw no more value in me as a supply, he discarded me for a new supply who could start giving him the 100’s again. That’s a fact bc that’s how a narcissist operates.
stay empowered
I believe your messages and videos are your soul's gift to others; your gift to humanity, Lee. Awesome work!
Thank you
I think a part of it is the profound exclusiveness ofvthe vwith the narcissist. The narcissist often presents as having very few social contacts, and they work to separate you from your support system. The narcissist I was involved with early on told me he was my best friend and told me I didn't need to see a counselor because I could talk to him. The narcissist becomes your world. -The love bombing to get you hooked, then the bread crumbing to keep you anxious and insecure, grateful for attention, even destructive attention.
Then you keep being vulnerable for the crumbs of attention 🙄 just to end up feeling discarded later on 🤦🏾♀️
I felt err word u said..I've disconnected and begun 2 put tht love I put on him 2 myself..I now realize what I've been hearing 4 the longest..he does not deserve me..I deserve so much better..and imma find it 💯💯
It is very hard moving on, & Yes 🙌🏻 don’t react. Take all that “pleasure” you had w/the narc you need to find ways to make yourself happy. Taking all that love you gave the narc turn it & give that love & care to yourself. Took me almost a year with this last narc to realize I had been dealing with narcissists my whole life & I’m a codependent & a “rescuer”.
🥺🥺
You're not codependent you struggle with codependency as well as myself hoping you're doing better now God bless everyone I can relate to everything I'm going through it myself now and been going through it I'm 53 years Young may God bless everyone I'm so grateful to have found you you're helping me so much and I appreciate it all the best may God continue to bless you!💋💞🌷💪🙏
OMG man thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!! Am an Empath my child father is a narcissist we just left well he got caught cheating and move out and block me from finances left me with kids and pets and debts no said no nothing!!
Sorry to hear that ...prayers ❤ it hard for me too plz take notice once they move out they're working extra hard to secure a new supply don't let them string u along like I did... just know they're looking to replace you
God Blessed You Always!💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏
Thank the Lord for deliverance!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
👏 The "Cheek-Clapping" phrase should never stop. I ❤️ it & usually it makes me smile 😃
I love the cheek clapping 😆🤣😂 love it! Best of saying f*** in a respectful way!
Also, it’s easy for the narcissistic person to discard their partner bc they don’t respect the partner. And a lot of that is bc the partner doesn’t respect themselves, and the narcissistic person sees that. It’s hard to be attracted to someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
I'm so glad I saw your video. I'm still healing and putting God first hoping to find love someday. I was with my ex narcassist boyfriend for 11 years. It's hard to move on and heal
Seriously can't thank you enough for this video.
I feel like I've been doing well on my own, realizing how deeply his emotional abuse damaged my wellness and doing my best to focus on building and healing myself, however, yesterday I was forced to spend hours in VERY close proximity to him (I'm still contracted out for one final gig in his band) and it just sent me spiraling!!!! How this person has such an enormous power over me is truly sickening 💔 My last gig with him is towards the end of August and I'm making it a top priority to never put myself in another situation where I have to see his face, hear his voice or hear anything about him. Even if it means cutting off everyone, at this point I simply don't care because that's how low he brought me down. I don't ever want to get to the point where I try to stop the pain by attempting to end my life over a sad, pathetic little man.
At these gigs I keep my head high and try my best not to interact with him in any capacity but it doesn't matter, the presence alone is enough to crumble me. It's pathetic! I feel pathetic!!!! So thank you for thus video because it's helping me get back on track. I just hate how far back down I end up dropping after sharing space with him. Just sucks.
On what u were.sayjn about ppl acceptin less...I feel that too many ppl gage their self worth on weatber or not they are alone... ppl who say , " i just cant sleep alone." I have an uncle like that.... he is on marage #3 that is toxic and 2 kids by 2 diff women.
You teach ppl how to teach you. Someone once told me this and it has really resonated with me, " The way somone treats you, is a reflection of how they value you in their life". ( i guess u could say, how they value you or IF they value u)
For the believers out there, when you understand the value God sees in you, you’ll start to love yourself. I recommend the series “U R loved” by pastor Michael Todd. This same series is when my spiritual Christ encounter. You’ll thank me later ❤️
Great series.I need to rewatch it🥰
Is that the pastor from Porch Church? If so I love those sermons. Haven’t seen that sermon yet.
@@mariahconklin4150 it’s transformation church
Going to look for it now-thank you!🙏🏽
I don't believe in coincidence and I've been having these types videos appear on my TH-cam thread. I have suffered a major seizure causing my heart to stop. Afterwards, having recently suffered two strokes and uncountable seizures . I now have been going to therapy and been told that I am codependent and was willing to go through hell and back just to be loved. I am still learning to deal with this. I've never heard of Narcissism until last year and all the things that you've been mentioning, I've experienced. The feeling alone and questioning why? I am still having to work through this because we have a child together. I find myself withdrawn from even entertaining another relationship. Each time I see a new video of yours, I get valuable insight and information to help me cope. Thank you so much! Sincerely, Charles Blake.
Comparing the heart to dollar bills is an excellent analogy. Helps make it make sense. Thanks
Yes! You're absolutely right. They deserved $1. I def gave more. I didn't get what I deserved at all. Thanks for the videos. It puts things in perspective. I even told him he doesn't value me anymore. This confirms it all.
Absolutely!!
I always thought trauma bond was a woo word buzz word on social.... And you just explained in one minute why I went back to my abuser after he almost killed me. I couldn't connect with anyone but him because of what he did to me. I never knew it was so simple to explain....
Me Too!💞💪🙏
I thank you so much Lee, for sharing yourself with us.
I need to start focusing on me .. I fall back to those “good” feelings .. and think he’ll be destroyed emotionally if I actually file for divorce.. I know it makes No sense to think that way. I need to break my bond of 44 years.
Yet want to stay kind afterwards as fellow parent and grandparent.
I believe God helped me find you here to help myself break the bond completely and become who I was meant to be .. a person in peace with God .. maybe I’ll eat able to help others in future
I also know it must still be eating me inside. I should have gone to sleep 6 hours ago! Red to wake in couple hours.. thankful time included to listen to you tho
stay safe and strong
Me💔 Too!💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏
That's a really good way to look at it! It's good I'm not who I used to be because I clearly had issues to get myself in this situation and to stay this long.
🙏🏽🙌🏾
Yup. This is exactly right. I focused on the good things off and on for three years. Three months he'd be perfect. Then he would go cold and act narcissistic. I've had to focus on the negative times to create boundaries. But it took me time to.
Thank you for your words Lee I listen that Veto song EVERY DAY while im working out!! And “I got it”!!
I appreciate you ❤
You are so welcome
Lee: Thanks for opening up with the truth, and your personal life's situation. The problem is just like the narcissist, the empath is damaged too. Actually they can both be in the same family 👪. It's all on how you process the trauma. Both have a love decificet. ❤️
The narcissist chooses to hate their caregiver, and takes on that "nature / spirit " and become self absorbed like their abusive care giver. The empath chooses to make excuses for the abusive care giver and ends up blaming themselves for the abuse, even to the point of defending their abuser (Stockholm syndrome).
The empath tries to over compensate by giving themselves away, and prioritizing their partner (and yes they believe they can heal their partner by giving themselves away and loving even more).
The truth is there's only one person we can change and that's ourselves.
The biggest thing is coming to the point of self care and learning to love yourself in a healthy manner and getting the validation that was absent in childhood.
For both the narcissist and the empath its a difficult journey to healing and understanding how we ended up on whichever side of the coin we fell (heads you're a narcissist, tails you're an empath). It's all a part of our journey here on earth, and learning and growing from the experience.
Self validation, and reparenting the inner child in order to change the paradigm and make the shift isn't easy, but it's necessary for our spiritual growth.
God bless you. 🙏
It's a spiritual battle going on in this world 🌎. Stay strong.
Yes, I've seen demons 😈, but when we truly give our life to Jesus Christ, he can make it a whole lot easier when we give priority to Him, as He has overcome the world.
Amen thank you so much everything you have said my words I think you and everyone here so much God bless you all I really appreciate all this is helping me so much stay strong keep the faith keep your head up with survivors to God any and everything is possible we will get through this God bless Amen!💋💞💞🌷💪🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏