"You need to be attracted to them". John Paul 2 agreed with this when he said "Attraction is the raw material for love" I believe that was in love and responsibility.
If ur talking about attraction as in physical appearance that’s not love and u misunderstood that statement verse u only love a human when u find out who they r and what makes them the way they r
@@sarausagenobody is saying that physical attraction is love. But natural attraction is absolutely necessary for a healthy marriage. It can be horribly wounding for men to realize that the women in their lives “love their personalities” but in reality aren’t attracted to them physically. That’s not respect; that can end up being a kind of anti-sexual objectification. If a woman has never had a positive _physical_ response to a specific man’s presence, then marriage to him is not a wise decision.
As a single man, i really appreciated this episode. I learned a lot. I'm sharing it with my nieces, Goddaughters and sister. Simple but yet profound. Thank You Lila❤
It so, so, so, sooooooo important to first love God, then other people. Then, entering Holy Matrimony, more of a vow to God, not just to each other, is even more than romantic. Romance has its place in courtshipand marriage, but, well, .... listen to this young lady. Rose knows what she's talking about.
God brought me my amazing husband. We have had a couple downs, but we have gotten a lot closer. 7 years married, we cannot have kids, but we are trying to be good role models for the kids our friends have.
There are two types of procreation: 1) Literal 2) Metaphorical. ALL married couples have to be open to new life (and so NO to contraception - contraception is also UNS-XY, body, mind and soul as well as, of course, being a sin, and practising Natural Family Planning is S-XY and a virtuous - S-XY because refraining from s-x for a while, demonstrates self-control in a man which is s-xy to a woman, and also refraining from s-x for a while builds up s-xual desire, mystery and energy etc for the other, again - and part of holy seduction - and it's important also to have times of non-erotic affection as well - which ironically leads to greater s-x once the couple return to having s-x again). However, if they can't have children of their own, for whatever medical reasons out of their control, they can still procreate metaphorically in the sense of working tother to bring God's Kingdom to Earth as in ('thy kingdom come' - this is not just about the future but also about the present - bringing God's kingdom to oneself, each other, others, The Church and the world).
Am I the one? Great question. I will listen to the end. May God bless you and your family, Lila. Keep using your voice to speak the truth. The truth will set us free.
Are you from the school of St Augustine that says that s-x is for procreation only? Have you read the Bible's Song of Songs (warning, it is extremely erotic - and romantic and beautiful). St John Paul II spoke about The Song of Songs in its earthly meaning (not just its Heavenly one). What do you understand by St Paul's 'One-Flesh' Marriage (and I don't just mean s-x or s-x and love that is just about the body - but also about the mind, heart and soul as well). What do you understand by loving objectively? How important do you think it is (I think it's essential but rarely discussed). Taking all this into consideration, do you think it not possible that God could choose someone for us where we really properly connect in an extraordinary way. There might be 'one' person God has in mind for us. Or maybe a few more (and gives us more choice). What do you think?
I'd also like to add, if someone feels they screwed up in their choice of spouse and now married (because they didn't turn to God properly to help them transform themselves for marriage and for God to help choose their future spouse), then God can still perform MIRACLES / THE MIRACULOUS (He can help the couple fall in love even after they are married and weren't really in love before but we should always try and marry out of real love first). So relax! But right now, I'm just focused on people not married yet. And we should all help / encourage / support others in this. This in itself is a great act of mercy (even if we end up never getting married ourselves and / or issues in our own marriage). PS But we can't demand miracles / the miraculous from God. But we must always love unconditionally (and objectively) whatever situation we find ourselves in (and even in a marriage where there is lots of romantic love, long-term, unconditional love is still the most important love as well as loving objectively which is related to unconditional love).
@@onyx2783 No offence but that's not an argument! I've no idea what you mean?! Do you mean there is no such thing as true, romantic love? That marriage is just about loving the person unconditionally (which I don't deny), having children, and that's it? Do you believe in romantic love? And I don't just mean romantic love based on hormones. But romantic love based on the body, mind and soul - and inspired by God. Please be clear, otherwise you could be leading people down a false path (it mightn't lead people to Hell. God forbid. But it could lead people to Purgatory, when God is first calling people to be saints - and trying to be a saint is the safest road to salvation and also for others and also the greatest way to love and glorify God - and the most fun / joyful way too - even if it invites more hardship too). And as I said previously, even if a Catholic couple don't marry for romantic love (or it's fake romantic love based on hormones), God can still perform miracles / the miraculous - transforming that non-romantic love into romantic love (without losing the unconditional love bit too). But first the couple have to admit to themselves (as individuals to himself or herself) what is going on and ask God for help, without harming others to find true love.
I'm just starting the episode, but I love at 0:17 that you use the painting of Jesus Washing the Apostles' Feet by Latter-Day Saint artist Del Parson! ❤
Lastly, if Catholic men and women want to find (or increase the likelihood of) real happiness in [future] marriage (if God calling them to that) and or increased happiness in their marriage now - then please turn to daily and deep and joyful devotion to The Holy Spirit inside you (please God / thank God) and as your Advocate. We're meant to do this anyway. For everything. Not just dating / marriage. Look at Mary and the disciples at Pentecost - their lives were RADICALLY transformed. Pentecost isn't just about Mary and the disciples (with God). It's about all of us (with God). And it's also about our 'ordinary' lives (including marriages, jobs, interests, art, culture, helping the vulnerable, supporting the church, being patriots etc) - this is all part of The Church overall - not just the more formally religious side of things. And it is The Holy Spirit who prepares us for The Sacraments etc. To connect with Christ. The Holy Spirit working with Christ and The Father to SAVE us (please God - even though Christ is technically 'The Saviour') and sanctify us (please God) including maximising the amount of happiness and love we can experience in dating and marriage. Devotion to The Holy Spirit is a duty. It's vital. But it's also a great JOY! How we all want to be happy. And notice that St Philip Neri, who is famous for his devotion to The Holy Spirt is now the patron saint of JOY! (And joy - real joy - obviously a key part of dating and marriage!). Lastly, to start on devotion to The Holy Spirit, please just reflect and be grateful and joyful that He is inside you (please God / thank God) thanks to Baptism and is also your Advocate (HUGE word). And don't forget, where The Holy Spirit is, so is The Blessed Trinity - and all Heaven. So when you approach your date or you spouse, consider all this. And when praying to The Holy Spirit, you can pray The Our Father (but you can also pray specific prayers to The Holy Spirit as well). And the image of The Holy Spirit in St Peter's Basilica is a beautiful image to have near you to inspire you to practise and enjoy daily and deep joyful devotion to The Holy Spirit. Lastly, Bishop Fulton Sheen's video on The Holy Spirit is BRILLIANT. Come Holy Spirt.
I appreciate Mrs. Rose's message of "self-gifting" to someone, rather than the popular notion of "self-love" that can be misleading and ultimately conceited 🙏✝️
Lila has so much wisdom for her age. I have believed in and used these principles for years. The difficulty is in staying true to them, true to yourself and God. We owe it to ourselves and God to be chaste; how difficult it can be!
I personally am NOT currently "the one." I'm in the Navy, and I am away from home far too often to properly invest in another person. But I do think marriage is a very worthwhile pursuit and a beautiful thing. And I agree that "the one" is whoever you promise to love until death should part you. Love is an action that must be committed to every day. It's not some feel-good emotion, though it can be rewarding because it is a good thing. But the best things in life are often difficult, and love is no exception. But what it can achieve is far more powerful than perhaps any other thing. We should all be practicing it every single day.
Also, a HUGE problem (perhaps the main one) in the the Catholic world today regarding dating / marriage (and lots more) is lack of belief in the importance of devotion to The Holy Spirt where we are Temples of The Holy Spirit (please God / thank God - and which makes our faith truly theistic) and where He is Our Advocate. One of the infinite meanings of Advocate is about helping and empowering us to prepare for marriage (if called to) as people (as men / women and human beings and Catholics - not just as theologians) and to grow in marriage (including in happiness). Just as The Holy Spirit helps prepare us for our Heavenly Spouse - Christ (please God).
Good morning and welcome back! You're The One to cover this topic, Lila! Your husband and children are so blessed to have you as a watchful wife and mindful mother. They must be so happy to have a taste of Heaven every day in their lives! Thank you for sharing so much of your loving heart every week! It was already a gift getting one episode a week, and it was great you being so dedicated making two episodes weekly, and now, with the livestreams...already your present is a gift, Lila! Your last livestream was my favorite so far. I just told a friend about it yesterday regarding being attentive to the messages being put in our culture through entertainment. Also, once again (and will change that to twice again today!), said you are, ok, I didn't use the "Mount Rushmore" description, but I consider you, Father Mike Schmitz, Trent Horn, and Jimmy Akin in my Mount Rushmore of youtubers, and to give a fifth favorite... Michael Knowles is my all time favorite political commentator, and I hope you have him back on your show. Thank you for your love for the dignity of all lives, from the moment of conception onward, in all aspects of life, highlighting the dignity in others and ourselves with gentle kind peaceful motivating help to be more loving. I prayed for you and your family in my Rosary this morning, Lila, and for everyone in their journeys toward love and for healing for any wounds and heartbreak to warm our hearts to be more loving. "To love is to will the good of another." -St. Thomas Aquinas Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful Happy Fun Freedom-over-Fear Family Friday, Lila!
I'm going to be TOUGH here (as in tough love): don't be a simp! Women hate simps (I don't mean hate them as people but they hate the language / behaviour of simps). A man will never find a wife or be properly happy in marriage if he's a simp. God wants every man to be really masculine (and to have a good sense of humour / not be over-emotional). Women want the same. (And God can and will CHANGE every man to becoming a really masculine man with a sense of humour etc IF that man turns to God for advice and help here and the power to change).
Also, one of the reasons that prevents true, one-flesh (St Paul) marriage (where the husband and wife deliciously and joyfully and lovingly and mysteriously and romantically melt into each other body, mind and soul to become one person - although paradoxically still two separate people at same time - and not just in the bedroom but in the entire marriage, including non-erotic affection) is that part of us is HARDENED to connection (from pride / sin / fear / being wounded etc). So we need God to MELT us. This is connected to / akin to: ' I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.' - Ezekiel 36:26-27 (beautiful!) And this is all preparation / good practise to connect ultimately with Christ, Our Spouse, in the Mystical Body of Christ (as The Catholic Church teaches). No s-x in Heaven but something trillions and trillions of tines greater: LOVING , JOYFUL ECSTASY and JOYFUL BLISS with God in the BEAUTY of Heaven (please God).But that should all begin now to a degree (please God) and to persevere through death into Heaven (please God). The ROMANTIC love of two spouses (romantic love based on body, mind and soul - not just hormones - and inspired by God) is part of this BEAUTY of Heaven - part of the ROMANCE of Heaven. But to reiterate from before, romantic love is not the most important love - unconditional love is (and connected to this, loving objectively). Lastly, and to return to St John Paul II who said that the [ROMANTIC / erotic or ecstatic / passionate / beautiful / poetic etc] of The Song of Songs is ultimately about the Heavenly marriage with God (please God - although no instead of the erotic here there is the ecstatic in its fullest sense) but also to a degree about earthly marriage between husband and wife. Don't believe me (about this wonderful news!), then please see: 'Love Is Ever Seeking and Never Satisfied - Pope John Paul II - GENERAL AUDIENCE OF 6 JUNE [1984]' - EWTN. So living the romantic life - and long-term - in our marriage, isn't just a way of helping to love more our spouse (if we're given the opportunity to), it's also a witness to others (bringing a sense of the romance and beauty of Heaven to others - but romance mixed with unconditional and objective love - and, in particular, our spouse and ourselves with our spouse), and ultimately a way of glorifying and loving God.
True nobody is owed marriage and children BUT God wants to reveal His Will to us and have us understand it. God can even tell you if you are called to marriage despite being single but He’s not going to allow you to worship marriage as the end goal of life as secular society does the same with sex. Also I dislike the language of “let’s make babies together” because it leads people into the sin of pride that we can make babies and do it all without God in the marriage and relationship which is why we have such pride and entitlement about marriage and children. Think about what God said when he tested Abraham. God told Abraham to “go sacrifice your only begotten son on my behalf” there’s the key right there “your begotten child.” Just as the Son is Begotten by the Father so too children are begotten by the husband and wife with God forming the body and soul together which is a mystery of God how He begot Himself as the Trinity. I may be a single 28 year old guy but this is what I am putting my focus on while getting my life together financially and career wise is getting to Know God and understand the Mysteries of the Faith overcoming my vices in the meantime.
Believing in ''the one'' is a good way to find self-destruction. At this time I will disregard dating and marriage until I will be emotionally indifferent to it and perfectly good alone.
Indeed, to my understanding...at least concerning the teachings of the Catholic Church.... there is no such thing as "the One" nor "soul mate" If anything...God is the "one".
Feels pretty hopeless and nobody cares about whether I find someone or not, because I am 52. Church only does things to bring young people together because kids are likely. Most women near my age are married and there doesn’t seem to be a very good way to run into them. I’m in choir, and all married or too young. I help out with RCIA. All older and most married. I don’t even know how many single women between 40 and 55 are in my parish. Feel like I need to advertise in the Church bulletin: SWM 52 Free to marry in the Church Seeks SF of appropriate age. Meet me in the narthex after 9 am Mass if you’re interested. But no such section in the bulletin. So, I ballroom dance, swing and Latin dance and all the women out are too old, too young, or partnered up already. Catholic Match literally had nobody I was attracted to at all. I’m actually okay if I stay single. I was married young and have two grown kids and a grandchild on the way. Still, it’d be nice if the Church had a 35-55 dance mingle night once a month. Alright. Enough complaining. Lila, do you have a single, Catholic Aunt? Nope. Didn’t think so. God bless you all.
"Feels pretty hopeless and nobody cares about whether I find someone or not".......First off I'd drop the self pity. Why are you looking for someone to "care about whether I find someone or not"? Your personal life is nobody elses business, so dont look outside of yourself and be resentful towards other people or the church for not hooking you up with a group of potential wives. Put self pity to death, otherwise it'll be the ruin of you. You literally have your whole life ahead of you so all things are possible, but dont make meeting someone your goal, dont do things with an eye of getting into a relationship. I mean all those activities you spend your time engaged in, its seems like the real reason you're there is to see if you can meet someone. This is a terrible reason to do anything. Do what you feel compelled to do, regardless of who else might be involved, that way your actions are pure. But when you're scanning the room at everything event you go to.............this is not good and also when you do this you give off the energy of someone whos desperate and this is a repellent. Our Lord said "Seek the kingdom of God above all else and all things will be added unto you". This is the absolute truth, and I can speak to its truthfulness from personal experience. The Lord never said, "Seek the kingdom of woman". Pursue the Lord with everything you have, make your actions pure in that sense, and if you do this you are truly seeking the kingdom of God, and then leave everything else up to him. If he wishes for you to be meet someone and be married it'll happen, if not, so be it, either way if you truly seek after God you'll be complete and happy regardless of who is in your life or not.
@@jamessgian7691 If you’re 52 you can and should easily be able to attract women in their early to mid 30s. If you aren’t doing that, you need to put some effort into self improvement. Lose the weight, update the wardrobe, and exercise better hygiene.
Maybe it would be good to change churches to meet new people and enrich your life in Christ. I was brought up Catholic and becoming a Born Again Christian was the BEST thing I did.
You're not considered single...you're considered "divorced with kids" .....freely to marry in the church...I highly doubt that 😂 that's y it's hard for u to find someone in the church....they trying to do things by the book...u went off and did things wrong and now u used goods and want to give that to a church goer...yeeeaahhh...they ain't gonna line up for u. Maybe a 60 65 yr old
"A good person/ the right person is someone who, after a date with them, what you feel is like how you would feel after spending time with your grandmother (assuming she's a sweetheart).. You want it to feel peaceful."
Its not about what you "feel". You don't "date" in order to see if that person makes you feel good. There is no official Catholic Teaching that indicates that its about "feelings"
@@Nomen.7777 I was just pointing out something I found cute 😑 It’s all really great, and serious, I know. But my heart felt so warm when Lila said what she said about sweet grandmothers 🥹
@@monmen91 I completely understand, and i get it. I'm just speaking in general I think that happy wife school on YT offers better practical advice concerning relationships.
I recommend Reading 📚 "True Friendship" by John Cuddeback 📖 a good read for those who are interested in building long lasting relationships & "Joy in Love" by Pope Francis 📖
Hey, I was wondering if you could make a video about how Hollywood loves to use Catholism for its own greed with now the recent release of Grotesquerie, and have a good weekend
I think you have to be attracted enough to want to deal with all the negative things that relationships bring up to get married. Who doesn't want to do all the good things about relationships or in general? Plus, isn't the complaint from women about men is they only want sex? Isn't saying "I wanna have kids" also mean "I wanna have sex that makes children?" Aren't you telling men and women that if they want sex with the person to get married when you use those words? Be more careful, please.
Rule 1, start with rule number 2, rule number 2 refer to rule number 1. Lol jk. Hope for the best for y'all. Remember there's billions of ppl out there, God knows your heart and watches over everyone.
This women is too orientated towards dating, marriage and procreation. Many of us christians are not. Should we became depressed or suicidal because of that? Many of us will never get married like we see it in every day life. But all that is important is afterlife because this earthly life is so short. Plus many of this dating and marriage advise are incorect. Because we have arrange marriages, marriages just to get married, because of pregnancy, fear of lonliness.... I see it in every day life. Even my parents are married because I was on the way. My father says to me that he would never married my mother if she wasn't pregnant, he had another girlfriend back then. He even insisted on abortion, thanks God my mother was against that. They are married for 43 years now.
Being a Christian means following Jesus' teachings, including getting married and multiplying. Believing without actions means nothing. Faith is not just intellectual assent, but a commitment to live out the values and teachings of Christ in everyday life. Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV): "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" Genesis 1:28 (ESV): “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’” Jesus spoke clearly about sexual immorality, including fornication (sexual relations outside of marriage), within the broader context of living a righteous and holy life. Matthew 15:19 (ESV): "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander." Jesus also spoke clearly about the sanctity of marriage. Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV): "He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'" Your perception of marriage as something you do to "be happy" is completely wrong and is a modern idea. You get married to create a family, to have children, and to help your children with their children. Marriage is full of challenges and problems. Ideally, you work to find happiness within it, but happiness is not the reason to get married. The purpose of marriage, as intended by God, is rooted in procreation and the building of a family. No one can call themselves Christians and renounce marriage and procreation, as commanded by our Lord and our Father.
@@jorgen7180 you say that no one who renounce marriage and procreation can call themself christian. That is heresy. And you will make brothers and sisters feel bad about that. Christian focus is about afterlife and keeping the comandments, not marriage. St. Paul says in 1. Corinthians 7-9: Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. And also: "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." So we can make conclusion that marriage and procreation isn't obligated for christians and if someone don't want to get married isn't wrong. And if someone wants to married isnt' wrong. Remember brother that focus is on comandments and afterlife.
@@jorgen7180 saying that no one who renounce marriage and procreation can be christian is heresy. You will make brothers and sisters feel bad about themselves. St. Paul 1 corinthians 7-9: "Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." So we see that bible focus isn't on marriage but on keeping comandments and on afterlife. Some brothers and sisters that doesn't want to get married aren't wrong and others who wants to get married isn't wrong either.
@@jorgen7180People should have God comandments and afterlife in focus and not just marriage. Marriage for me is overated, it is just one aspect of human life and even many people will never experience marriage. St. Paul for example didn't put much focus on marriage, but on sexual morality. St. Paul didn't want to get married either. He even says that it is better for people to don't marry but if they burn toward women then it is better to marry then commit sin. Read 1 Corinthians 7-9
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"You need to be attracted to them". John Paul 2 agreed with this when he said "Attraction is the raw material for love" I believe that was in love and responsibility.
Yes, amen. JP2 hit the nail on the head in so many ways when it comes to love and humanity.
I would also add that holiness is attractive 🌹
If ur talking about attraction as in physical appearance that’s not love and u misunderstood that statement verse u only love a human when u find out who they r and what makes them the way they r
@@sarausagenobody is saying that physical attraction is love. But natural attraction is absolutely necessary for a healthy marriage. It can be horribly wounding for men to realize that the women in their lives “love their personalities” but in reality aren’t attracted to them physically. That’s not respect; that can end up being a kind of anti-sexual objectification. If a woman has never had a positive _physical_ response to a specific man’s presence, then marriage to him is not a wise decision.
As a single man, i really appreciated this episode. I learned a lot. I'm sharing it with my nieces, Goddaughters and sister. Simple but yet profound.
Thank You Lila❤
Imo, this is one of your best episodes.
It so, so, so, sooooooo important to first love God, then other people. Then, entering Holy Matrimony, more of a vow to God, not just to each other, is even more than romantic. Romance has its place in courtshipand marriage, but, well, .... listen to this young lady. Rose knows what she's talking about.
God brought me my amazing husband. We have had a couple downs, but we have gotten a lot closer. 7 years married, we cannot have kids, but we are trying to be good role models for the kids our friends have.
There are two types of procreation: 1) Literal 2) Metaphorical.
ALL married couples have to be open to new life (and so NO to contraception - contraception is also UNS-XY, body, mind and soul as well as, of course, being a sin, and practising Natural Family Planning is S-XY and a virtuous - S-XY because refraining from s-x for a while, demonstrates self-control in a man which is s-xy to a woman, and also refraining from s-x for a while builds up s-xual desire, mystery and energy etc for the other, again - and part of holy seduction - and it's important also to have times of non-erotic affection as well - which ironically leads to greater s-x once the couple return to having s-x again).
However, if they can't have children of their own, for whatever medical reasons out of their control, they can still procreate metaphorically in the sense of working tother to bring God's Kingdom to Earth as in ('thy kingdom come' - this is not just about the future but also about the present - bringing God's kingdom to oneself, each other, others, The Church and the world).
Why would you need four principles....when you just need one....God.
The "One" is God.
You do not marry to see if its your vocation.
Am I the one?
Great question. I will listen to the end.
May God bless you and your family, Lila. Keep using your voice to speak the truth. The truth will set us free.
Thank you for listening and supporting the show!
An episode like this but for vocation discernment would de amazing!! 🙏🙏🙏
You are a good influence and role model Lila. I enjoyed this and got value from it
The myth of “The One” is exactly that, a myth.
@@edm-london1660 Where is “the one” discussed in the catechism?
Are you from the school of St Augustine that says that s-x is for procreation only?
Have you read the Bible's Song of Songs (warning, it is extremely erotic - and romantic and beautiful). St John Paul II spoke about The Song of Songs in its earthly meaning (not just its Heavenly one).
What do you understand by St Paul's 'One-Flesh' Marriage (and I don't just mean s-x or s-x and love that is just about the body - but also about the mind, heart and soul as well).
What do you understand by loving objectively? How important do you think it is (I think it's essential but rarely discussed).
Taking all this into consideration, do you think it not possible that God could choose someone for us where we really properly connect in an extraordinary way. There might be 'one' person God has in mind for us. Or maybe a few more (and gives us more choice).
What do you think?
I'd also like to add, if someone feels they screwed up in their choice of spouse and now married (because they didn't turn to God properly to help them transform themselves for marriage and for God to help choose their future spouse), then God can still perform MIRACLES / THE MIRACULOUS (He can help the couple fall in love even after they are married and weren't really in love before but we should always try and marry out of real love first). So relax! But right now, I'm just focused on people not married yet. And we should all help / encourage / support others in this. This in itself is a great act of mercy (even if we end up never getting married ourselves and / or issues in our own marriage).
PS But we can't demand miracles / the miraculous from God. But we must always love unconditionally (and objectively) whatever situation we find ourselves in (and even in a marriage where there is lots of romantic love, long-term, unconditional love is still the most important love as well as loving objectively which is related to unconditional love).
@@edm-london1660 I think anyone who believes in the myth of the one is setting himself up for disappointment in life. Good luck to you though bud.
@@onyx2783 No offence but that's not an argument! I've no idea what you mean?!
Do you mean there is no such thing as true, romantic love? That marriage is just about loving the person unconditionally (which I don't deny), having children, and that's it?
Do you believe in romantic love? And I don't just mean romantic love based on hormones. But romantic love based on the body, mind and soul - and inspired by God. Please be clear, otherwise you could be leading people down a false path (it mightn't lead people to Hell. God forbid. But it could lead people to Purgatory, when God is first calling people to be saints - and trying to be a saint is the safest road to salvation and also for others and also the greatest way to love and glorify God - and the most fun / joyful way too - even if it invites more hardship too).
And as I said previously, even if a Catholic couple don't marry for romantic love (or it's fake romantic love based on hormones), God can still perform miracles / the miraculous - transforming that non-romantic love into romantic love (without losing the unconditional love bit too). But first the couple have to admit to themselves (as individuals to himself or herself) what is going on and ask God for help, without harming others to find true love.
I'm just starting the episode, but I love at 0:17 that you use the painting of Jesus Washing the Apostles' Feet by Latter-Day Saint artist Del Parson! ❤
I appreciate your videos Lila. Today is my birthday, I just turned 36.
Happy Birthday!!
Lastly, if Catholic men and women want to find (or increase the likelihood of) real happiness in [future] marriage (if God calling them to that) and or increased happiness in their marriage now - then please turn to daily and deep and joyful devotion to The Holy Spirit inside you (please God / thank God) and as your Advocate.
We're meant to do this anyway. For everything. Not just dating / marriage. Look at Mary and the disciples at Pentecost - their lives were RADICALLY transformed. Pentecost isn't just about Mary and the disciples (with God). It's about all of us (with God). And it's also about our 'ordinary' lives (including marriages, jobs, interests, art, culture, helping the vulnerable, supporting the church, being patriots etc) - this is all part of The Church overall - not just the more formally religious side of things.
And it is The Holy Spirit who prepares us for The Sacraments etc. To connect with Christ. The Holy Spirit working with Christ and The Father to SAVE us (please God - even though Christ is technically 'The Saviour') and sanctify us (please God) including maximising the amount of happiness and love we can experience in dating and marriage.
Devotion to The Holy Spirit is a duty. It's vital. But it's also a great JOY! How we all want to be happy. And notice that St Philip Neri, who is famous for his devotion to The Holy Spirt is now the patron saint of JOY! (And joy - real joy - obviously a key part of dating and marriage!).
Lastly, to start on devotion to The Holy Spirit, please just reflect and be grateful and joyful that He is inside you (please God / thank God) thanks to Baptism and is also your Advocate (HUGE word). And don't forget, where The Holy Spirit is, so is The Blessed Trinity - and all Heaven. So when you approach your date or you spouse, consider all this. And when praying to The Holy Spirit, you can pray The Our Father (but you can also pray specific prayers to The Holy Spirit as well). And the image of The Holy Spirit in St Peter's Basilica is a beautiful image to have near you to inspire you to practise and enjoy daily and deep joyful devotion to The Holy Spirit. Lastly, Bishop Fulton Sheen's video on The Holy Spirit is BRILLIANT.
Come Holy Spirt.
I appreciate Mrs. Rose's message of "self-gifting" to someone, rather than the popular notion of "self-love" that can be misleading and ultimately conceited
🙏✝️
Hi Lila. My husband has NPD. He has some self awareness. Could you pray that he may be willing to go to therapy to help our marriage? ❤ Thank you ❤
Lila has so much wisdom for her age. I have believed in and used these principles for years. The difficulty is in staying true to them, true to yourself and God. We owe it to ourselves and God to be chaste; how difficult it can be!
I personally am NOT currently "the one." I'm in the Navy, and I am away from home far too often to properly invest in another person.
But I do think marriage is a very worthwhile pursuit and a beautiful thing. And I agree that "the one" is whoever you promise to love until death should part you. Love is an action that must be committed to every day. It's not some feel-good emotion, though it can be rewarding because it is a good thing. But the best things in life are often difficult, and love is no exception.
But what it can achieve is far more powerful than perhaps any other thing. We should all be practicing it every single day.
Also, a HUGE problem (perhaps the main one) in the the Catholic world today regarding dating / marriage (and lots more) is lack of belief in the importance of devotion to The Holy Spirt where we are Temples of The Holy Spirit (please God / thank God - and which makes our faith truly theistic) and where He is Our Advocate. One of the infinite meanings of Advocate is about helping and empowering us to prepare for marriage (if called to) as people (as men / women and human beings and Catholics - not just as theologians) and to grow in marriage (including in happiness). Just as The Holy Spirit helps prepare us for our Heavenly Spouse - Christ (please God).
I found the one, and after 14 years, she is divorcing me. That’s life I guess…
Good morning and welcome back! You're The One to cover this topic, Lila! Your husband and children are so blessed to have you as a watchful wife and mindful mother. They must be so happy to have a taste of Heaven every day in their lives!
Thank you for sharing so much of your loving heart every week! It was already a gift getting one episode a week, and it was great you being so dedicated making two episodes weekly, and now, with the livestreams...already your present is a gift, Lila! Your last livestream was my favorite so far. I just told a friend about it yesterday regarding being attentive to the messages being put in our culture through entertainment.
Also, once again (and will change that to twice again today!), said you are, ok, I didn't use the "Mount Rushmore" description, but I consider you, Father Mike Schmitz, Trent Horn, and Jimmy Akin in my Mount Rushmore of youtubers, and to give a fifth favorite... Michael Knowles is my all time favorite political commentator, and I hope you have him back on your show.
Thank you for your love for the dignity of all lives, from the moment of conception onward, in all aspects of life, highlighting the dignity in others and ourselves with gentle kind peaceful motivating help to be more loving.
I prayed for you and your family in my Rosary this morning, Lila, and for everyone in their journeys toward love and for healing for any wounds and heartbreak to warm our hearts to be more loving.
"To love is to will the good of another."
-St. Thomas Aquinas
Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful Happy Fun Freedom-over-Fear Family Friday, Lila!
I'm going to be TOUGH here (as in tough love): don't be a simp!
Women hate simps (I don't mean hate them as people but they hate the language / behaviour of simps).
A man will never find a wife or be properly happy in marriage if he's a simp.
God wants every man to be really masculine (and to have a good sense of humour / not be over-emotional). Women want the same.
(And God can and will CHANGE every man to becoming a really masculine man with a sense of humour etc IF that man turns to God for advice and help here and the power to change).
Soul mates don't exist lila....BUT....i know this vid will have great info.
Also, one of the reasons that prevents true, one-flesh (St Paul) marriage (where the husband and wife deliciously and joyfully and lovingly and mysteriously and romantically melt into each other body, mind and soul to become one person - although paradoxically still two separate people at same time - and not just in the bedroom but in the entire marriage, including non-erotic affection) is that part of us is HARDENED to connection (from pride / sin / fear / being wounded etc). So we need God to MELT us. This is connected to / akin to:
' I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.' - Ezekiel 36:26-27 (beautiful!)
And this is all preparation / good practise to connect ultimately with Christ, Our Spouse, in the Mystical Body of Christ (as The Catholic Church teaches). No s-x in Heaven but something trillions and trillions of tines greater: LOVING , JOYFUL ECSTASY and JOYFUL BLISS with God in the BEAUTY of Heaven (please God).But that should all begin now to a degree (please God) and to persevere through death into Heaven (please God).
The ROMANTIC love of two spouses (romantic love based on body, mind and soul - not just hormones - and inspired by God) is part of this BEAUTY of Heaven - part of the ROMANCE of Heaven. But to reiterate from before, romantic love is not the most important love - unconditional love is (and connected to this, loving objectively).
Lastly, and to return to St John Paul II who said that the [ROMANTIC / erotic or ecstatic / passionate / beautiful / poetic etc] of The Song of Songs is ultimately about the Heavenly marriage with God (please God - although no instead of the erotic here there is the ecstatic in its fullest sense) but also to a degree about earthly marriage between husband and wife. Don't believe me (about this wonderful news!), then please see: 'Love Is Ever Seeking and Never Satisfied - Pope John Paul II - GENERAL AUDIENCE OF 6 JUNE [1984]' - EWTN.
So living the romantic life - and long-term - in our marriage, isn't just a way of helping to love more our spouse (if we're given the opportunity to), it's also a witness to others (bringing a sense of the romance and beauty of Heaven to others - but romance mixed with unconditional and objective love - and, in particular, our spouse and ourselves with our spouse), and ultimately a way of glorifying and loving God.
I was tricked by a "significant thing hidden during the courtship." I hoped to stay married for life. My life and family is wrecked.
True nobody is owed marriage and children BUT God wants to reveal His Will to us and have us understand it. God can even tell you if you are called to marriage despite being single but He’s not going to allow you to worship marriage as the end goal of life as secular society does the same with sex. Also I dislike the language of “let’s make babies together” because it leads people into the sin of pride that we can make babies and do it all without God in the marriage and relationship which is why we have such pride and entitlement about marriage and children.
Think about what God said when he tested Abraham. God told Abraham to “go sacrifice your only begotten son on my behalf” there’s the key right there “your begotten child.” Just as the Son is Begotten by the Father so too children are begotten by the husband and wife with God forming the body and soul together which is a mystery of God how He begot Himself as the Trinity.
I may be a single 28 year old guy but this is what I am putting my focus on while getting my life together financially and career wise is getting to Know God and understand the Mysteries of the Faith overcoming my vices in the meantime.
Believing in ''the one'' is a good way to find self-destruction. At this time I will disregard dating and marriage until I will be emotionally indifferent to it and perfectly good alone.
As you said at the start, you need to start with interior peace -- cannot be emphasised too strongly
No such thing as "the one".
Indeed, to my understanding...at least concerning the teachings of the Catholic Church.... there is no such thing as "the One" nor "soul mate"
If anything...God is the "one".
Love it
Feels pretty hopeless and nobody cares about whether I find someone or not, because I am 52. Church only does things to bring young people together because kids are likely.
Most women near my age are married and there doesn’t seem to be a very good way to run into them. I’m in choir, and all married or too young. I help out with RCIA. All older and most married.
I don’t even know how many single women between 40 and 55 are in my parish. Feel like I need to advertise in the Church bulletin: SWM 52 Free to marry in the Church Seeks SF of appropriate age. Meet me in the narthex after 9 am Mass if you’re interested. But no such section in the bulletin.
So, I ballroom dance, swing and Latin dance and all the women out are too old, too young, or partnered up already. Catholic Match literally had nobody I was attracted to at all.
I’m actually okay if I stay single. I was married young and have two grown kids and a grandchild on the way. Still, it’d be nice if the Church had a 35-55 dance mingle night once a month.
Alright. Enough complaining. Lila, do you have a single, Catholic Aunt? Nope. Didn’t think so.
God bless you all.
"Feels pretty hopeless and nobody cares about whether I find someone or not".......First off I'd drop the self pity. Why are you looking for someone to "care about whether I find someone or not"? Your personal life is nobody elses business, so dont look outside of yourself and be resentful towards other people or the church for not hooking you up with a group of potential wives. Put self pity to death, otherwise it'll be the ruin of you. You literally have your whole life ahead of you so all things are possible, but dont make meeting someone your goal, dont do things with an eye of getting into a relationship. I mean all those activities you spend your time engaged in, its seems like the real reason you're there is to see if you can meet someone. This is a terrible reason to do anything. Do what you feel compelled to do, regardless of who else might be involved, that way your actions are pure. But when you're scanning the room at everything event you go to.............this is not good and also when you do this you give off the energy of someone whos desperate and this is a repellent. Our Lord said "Seek the kingdom of God above all else and all things will be added unto you". This is the absolute truth, and I can speak to its truthfulness from personal experience. The Lord never said, "Seek the kingdom of woman". Pursue the Lord with everything you have, make your actions pure in that sense, and if you do this you are truly seeking the kingdom of God, and then leave everything else up to him. If he wishes for you to be meet someone and be married it'll happen, if not, so be it, either way if you truly seek after God you'll be complete and happy regardless of who is in your life or not.
@@jamessgian7691 If you’re 52 you can and should easily be able to attract women in their early to mid 30s. If you aren’t doing that, you need to put some effort into self improvement. Lose the weight, update the wardrobe, and exercise better hygiene.
@@onyx2783men of 52 could easily attract women in early 30's??? No way. Only if you are super Rich and/or famous.
Maybe it would be good to change churches to meet new people and enrich your life in Christ. I was brought up Catholic and becoming a Born Again Christian was the BEST thing I did.
You're not considered single...you're considered "divorced with kids" .....freely to marry in the church...I highly doubt that 😂 that's y it's hard for u to find someone in the church....they trying to do things by the book...u went off and did things wrong and now u used goods and want to give that to a church goer...yeeeaahhh...they ain't gonna line up for u. Maybe a 60 65 yr old
I want a husband who can't talk.
100th like 😁
"A good person/ the right person is someone who, after a date with them, what you feel is like how you would feel after spending time with your grandmother (assuming she's a sweetheart).. You want it to feel peaceful."
Its not about what you "feel". You don't "date" in order to see if that person makes you feel good. There is no official Catholic Teaching that indicates that its about "feelings"
@@Nomen.7777 I was just pointing out something I found cute 😑 It’s all really great, and serious, I know. But my heart felt so warm when Lila said what she said about sweet grandmothers 🥹
@@monmen91
I completely understand, and i get it. I'm just speaking in general
I think that happy wife school on YT offers better practical advice concerning relationships.
I recommend Reading 📚
"True Friendship" by John Cuddeback 📖 a good read for those who are interested in building long lasting relationships & "Joy in Love" by Pope Francis 📖
Hey, I was wondering if you could make a video about how Hollywood loves to use Catholism for its own greed with now the recent release of Grotesquerie, and have a good weekend
I think you have to be attracted enough to want to deal with all the negative things that relationships bring up to get married. Who doesn't want to do all the good things about relationships or in general? Plus, isn't the complaint from women about men is they only want sex? Isn't saying "I wanna have kids" also mean "I wanna have sex that makes children?" Aren't you telling men and women that if they want sex with the person to get married when you use those words? Be more careful, please.
Right on time with this video
Lila, where can I find someone like you... ❤
Rule number 1. Don't be a simp! Never put a woman on a pedestal.
Rule 1, start with rule number 2, rule number 2 refer to rule number 1. Lol jk. Hope for the best for y'all. Remember there's billions of ppl out there, God knows your heart and watches over everyone.
@@art-ot4du Rule number 2: sense of humour in dating and marriage: ESSENTIAL ..
@@edm-london1660 thought that was rule number.... hahaha jk great point thanks.
There are no soulmates. Whoever wants to make the marriage, will make it work. Every single adult is a potential spouse to every single adult.
This women is too orientated towards dating, marriage and procreation. Many of us christians are not. Should we became depressed or suicidal because of that? Many of us will never get married like we see it in every day life. But all that is important is afterlife because this earthly life is so short.
Plus many of this dating and marriage advise are incorect. Because we have arrange marriages, marriages just to get married, because of pregnancy, fear of lonliness....
I see it in every day life. Even my parents are married because I was on the way. My father says to me that he would never married my mother if she wasn't pregnant, he had another girlfriend back then. He even insisted on abortion, thanks God my mother was against that. They are married for 43 years now.
Being a Christian means following Jesus' teachings, including getting married and multiplying. Believing without actions means nothing. Faith is not just intellectual assent, but a commitment to live out the values and teachings of Christ in everyday life.
Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV): "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"
Genesis 1:28 (ESV): “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”
Jesus spoke clearly about sexual immorality, including fornication (sexual relations outside of marriage), within the broader context of living a righteous and holy life.
Matthew 15:19 (ESV): "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander."
Jesus also spoke clearly about the sanctity of marriage.
Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV): "He answered, 'Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.'"
Your perception of marriage as something you do to "be happy" is completely wrong and is a modern idea. You get married to create a family, to have children, and to help your children with their children. Marriage is full of challenges and problems. Ideally, you work to find happiness within it, but happiness is not the reason to get married. The purpose of marriage, as intended by God, is rooted in procreation and the building of a family.
No one can call themselves Christians and renounce marriage and procreation, as commanded by our Lord and our Father.
@@jorgen7180 you say that no one who renounce marriage and procreation can call themself christian. That is heresy. And you will make brothers and sisters feel bad about that. Christian focus is about afterlife and keeping the comandments, not marriage.
St. Paul says in 1. Corinthians 7-9:
Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
And also: "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
So we can make conclusion that marriage and procreation isn't obligated for christians and if someone don't want to get married isn't wrong. And if someone wants to married isnt' wrong.
Remember brother that focus is on comandments and afterlife.
@@jorgen7180 saying that no one who renounce marriage and procreation can be christian is heresy. You will make brothers and sisters feel bad about themselves.
St. Paul 1 corinthians 7-9:
"Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
So we see that bible focus isn't on marriage but on keeping comandments and on afterlife.
Some brothers and sisters that doesn't want to get married aren't wrong and others who wants to get married isn't wrong either.
@@jorgen7180People should have God comandments and afterlife in focus and not just marriage. Marriage for me is overated, it is just one aspect of human life and even many people will never experience marriage.
St. Paul for example didn't put much focus on marriage, but on sexual morality. St. Paul didn't want to get married either. He even says that it is better for people to don't marry
but if they burn toward women then it is better to marry then commit sin.
Read 1 Corinthians 7-9