Kenya's lack of gossip and criticism beats Uganda's strict society rules.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.พ. 2024
- In this video I talk about how the lack of gossip and criticism in Kenya healed my childhood trauma from Ugandan harsh social rules and the issues Ugandan women face in Kenya.
#kenya #uganda
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Seeing Kenya from a foreigner's perspective is very interesting. What we see as normal can be taboo to other people, good work our sister.
wanasema sisi ni vichwa ngumu, which is an accurate description of us 🤣🤣
probably that's why most videos done about kenya by foreigners do well
a good case study
Good views. I concur that we need to let children express themselves as this will help them in making tough decisions when they grow up.
I wish you would be hired by government of Kenya to teach parenting. Your views are teaching humility and respect that our children are missing. The fact is that most parents are beginning to regret the freedoms we are giving to children.
Its not trauma. But its good to be ready to face the world.
In uganda every elder is a parent n every kid is a child
I really love this about Uganda.
Saying what you want isn't standing up for oneself; inappropriate behavior remains inappropriate, regardless of upbringing. Thus, guiding the child through dialogue can foster self-respect and assertiveness, with parental guidance being vital. Allowing the child free rein or resorting to punishment and verbal abuse would be a misstep.
Ain't you proud of the woman you're as Ugandan raised Nanfuka?!! Self confidence isn't in anyway related to one being under strict straight upbringing but rather in-built or in born as many kids in Uganda are confident enough as well holding other people and themselves with values
I would agree with you 😂. I am kenyan and my wife is Ugandan, and i have lived in Kampala for 12 years. The first time I went there i noticed ugandans are very elaborate with greetings, for example . And greet every one they meet, even in public transport (taxis). Something i wasn't used back in my country 😂. Yeah Ugandans are bit guarded. Which in a way i think it is good. People are also respectful. It took long for my wife to get used to my casual way of dealing with people 😂. Good perspective madam.
We great everyone you never know who might help incase of an emergency
We greet everyone you never know who might help incase of an emergency
Thanks for your honest all what you said about Kenya nasema ni kweli kabisa
And that's true we don't greet everyone, for security reasons
Long time my Ugandan sister missed your videos respect from Doha
I enjoy your observations
Nyabo,Ugandan manerisms are the best if you ask me.Being polite does not connote oppression. It is a reflection of civility.
It’s pretense
@@NileGoddess I highly doubt.
They pretend ask around u will cry for our Kenya bitches 😂
It’s a double edged sword, it has its benefits but it also produces lots of idiots ( not citizens) that’s why M7 has ruled us for almost 4 decades.
Let kids be kids, stop conditioning them too much
your description of Uganda sounds like my traditional (Maa) society..every child belongs to every adult and every adult is like a parent of every child. You get taught and disciplined and beaten by anyone if you are a child, and it is always right. No questions asked because you must have caused it and therefore you are taught respect and humility
Good observation but I think it started in the early 2000s. We in the 30s we grew up like you.
Hapo sawa🎉🎉
Keen observations.
Banangee :) Very unique perspective! Never saw it like that... we learn something every day.
Great observations
Nice. I'm Kenyan who would like to live in Uganda
Ugandans really need to come together and talk about this😂😂... this is serious.
I have been thinking about this allot. That’s why you see allot of Kenyans growing on social media compared to Ugandans because it seems like Kenyans support each other were as Ugandans they will criticize, abuse and all the nine line. So you are absolutely right.
Content powa, keep up
Interesting! i have always thought it was the other way round!
Big up sis from 🇺🇬 too👍
About help, Kenyans really help each other, we have a philosophy called Harambee, translated as come together. But Kenyans do respect personal/private space, we can't mind you unless you mind us.
Much love from Uganda🎉❤
As a Kenyan Uganda is a good country, the problems is their laws.
I think let's call out bad behavior when it happens in children. What i support is raising confident kids who are also well behaved . In Ug, most people would rather raise submissive and well mannered kids than confident and bad behaved ones. A confident and well behaved child is a true gem.
But it's hard to achieve that. If they are well behaved they become submissive, if they are confident they become "rude"
@@hadijjahnanfukaplease can I get your contact either whatsapp or email?
@@hadijjahnanfukaYou can also become confident and respectful..that is what most parents in Kenyans aim to instill in their children
@@hadijjahnanfuka but it's not impossible. Confident and bad behaved kids are hard to be around.
@@SweettoothMarie77 This so true
Big up 🎉
Heheee good content
❤❤❤Very true..
I'd be very interested to hear more of your thoughts on Kenya
our ugandan brothers and sisters need democracy, new government bana
your content is great!
Glad you think so!
I love your videos, and you are beautiful, I could not resist but subscribe😊
Very nice content and thank you. You do have a point, I don't believe anyone that curses and says I don't have to do this and that like the lady you referenced can be truly a happy person. Why the aggression and why feel the need to tell people all that. I think children do need to be taught respect and also humility, even putting others first. Today parents are allowing their children to get away with too much.
And the way you look humble. I need to meet you to confirm
:)
I enjoy your observations. Keep it up nyabo.
that's why Kenyan's are very confident... the way we are brought up, this happens in all corners of Uganda from the north to the south and cross - we get disciplined seriously as kids, so we grow up timid and soft. that example of a kid ordering to change the channels actually triggered me... that's an invitation for some serious flogging in Uganda.
It triggered me too 😢 I didn't know how much I needed healing untill that happened
Very up to the point. I like the way you analyze and present your content. Great👌
One thing I tell my 12 year old daughter is to say #NO#Specialy if she doesn't feel comfortable.She must learn to create her boundaries with others coz most people will take advantage of her insecurity/low self esteem to exploit her.
Somewhere in proverbs says the rod is good on the back of a child you love. The rod is good on a child if you love that child, but sadly Kenyan society is drifting slowly towards being the so-called "modern" society where not even the parent touches the child when they are supposed to be corrected.
Not there yet, but am afraid we are heading there
By the way, kisii is a landlocked country in Kenya.
😂😂😂Do you means County? The lans of delicious Matoke
🤣🤣😂
New sub, Hadijah. Ur perspectives are interesting.
My only worry is when u lump the whole country into one cultural group; Kenya/Kenyans. Ruraland upcountry behaviors, mannerisms and cultural practices differ from tribe to tribe. Towns and cities are not representative of majority Kenyan behavior.
Otherwise, keep up the good work.
I've been to rural parts of Kenya and still society rules are not as strict and harsh as those in Uganda
Interesting perspective, nyabo. Being a Kenyan and having spent time in Ug, I think you have been too kind on us Kenyans. The Ugandan society still maintains key moral values while ours is more of a man eat man society.
Shut up!
😂 man eat man💀
Thank you ! She hasn’t seen anything !
Well what you call your childhood trauma turnned you into a good wife, you know what they say "if you don't stand for something, you fall for everything"
Now i understand why Ugandans always seem too intimidated.Intimidation will make a people not grow.We can’t be intimidated by humans !
Are you sure they are timid? Better be timid than be arrogant and indisciplined the Kenyan sand way. S child sits on a seat and an expectant mother or an elderly person stands next to the child because the child paid for the seat or to put it the other way, a young girl wearing tumbo cut with panty revealing anatomical details bends Infront of public on the premise that 'my 👗 is my choice' gives her a tight to wear bikini within CBD😤
The kids really should feel bold enough to order any adults; Maybe the discipline needs to be different but there really should be correction
you are right that's why you as a ugandan you will make a video criticizing ugandans and kenyans
You are gorgeous.😍 I can see why this Kenyan man stole you from Uganda. And from how you talk... an argument with you would sound like a debate not the yelling we endure with our Kenyan women.😂😂
I don’t think her husband is Kenyan they are Ugandans living in Kenya and there are so many Ugandans living in Kenya
@@NileGoddesswhy your dislike
Interesting view. There may not be the "crabs in the bucket" caustic gossip (to humble you) and chastising that you mention in Uganda, but theres definitely the standard gossip.
It seems like "the world will humble you" is a social system to keep ugandans in line... There may have been that in Kenya when I was younger, but I think it's largely disappeared as Kenyans realise that we must free ourselves and pursue greatness and be brave without restrictions....
As for those kids, asking for the remote and talking to their grandparents anyhowly.... That's just badly behaved kids, not assertive kids!! I'd have a word with their parents if they ever did that in my house!!😅😅😅😅
@@GZB669not badly behaved .Kids literally see grandparents as their agemates 😂.
🇺🇬🇰🇪
This is a great submission, you need to publish a research paper about it, it can change alot in Uganda because we are lagging behind in aggressiveness to face the world. Imagine just mere not greeting an elder in society set way causes you to serious problems 😂😂
That Ugandan gossip story in the salon is so funny😂😂
I think Ugandans are kinder though !
She could have gone through an experience with the Ugandan family that traumatized her
Not only family members. Neighbors and extended relatives always feel the need to gossip and criticize
Mmm...nice witch u grew up to be, look at u now!
U cant deny ur beauty is bewitching😂😂🎉
Too much of anything is bad,even children who are left to do whatever they want,when they want,how they want it can be an embarrassment sometimes.I think parents from both countries need to find a balance
They for sure need to find a balance
Foreigners can get jobs but not the formal sector because they'll require Kenyan ID, but many hairdressers in Nairobi are from Congo, Rwanda. You'll need to learn Swahili to fit into the Kenyan way of doing things.
Nakubari salamika ..I miss kanairo na K.e kwa Jumula +44
it is good to have measured freedom...like in kenya it makes b ,9
The values that you seem to have trauma on, are the most cherished any reasonable a human can ask for. This new Kenyan liberalism you speak highly of, is pure madness. Don't turn into it.
But Kenyan Salon ladies can gossip wueehhh😅
But Kenyans are so indisciplined One girl shouted at me in bus from work but I had to keep quite through the whole journey very arrogant then the following day came laughing just walked away
You should have let her know that what she did was bad.
While I have not lived in kenya for longer than 12 hours, I, from understanding the perspective expressed by yourself have concluded that both countries have excesses in parenting and child-raising. Uganda needs to train children to be assertaive and confident without disregarding respect and submission unto elders. Kenya on the other hand needs to do the reverse of Uganda. Summarily, the wisdom of raising children right lies somewhere in the middle and not on the extremes that both societies currently exhibit.
Not just parents in Uganda. Relatives and neighbors need to let the parents do their job
First of all let me that state I am Kenyan.
The only part I depart from you in this is that while instilling of discipline in children is the primary duty of a parent/guardian, I believe it must not be restricted to only them. I believe anyone of soundness and sobriety should be able to help build a child's character, doesn't have to be the parent or relative. However, the approach is what should be proper. It should not be focused on hurting the child but on correcting and bringing understanding to this child about the wrong they have done.
And yes, if you are ill behaved, the world will surely humble you one way or the other, whether you like it or not, whether you realise it or not.
That being said, children are to be allowed to express and discover themselves, and be guided in the process, because every child is unique. That's how best they will develop.
Well, I am not sure what you mean by humble/hamble but what I can say is that my strict Kenyan parents brought me up in Kenya and taught me to be disciplined but at the same time taught me to not be a yes person (saying yes to everything and anything) nor a push over (to be ignored or my concerns/opinion pushed to the side as if they don't matter/count). And boy, I am not a push over at all! I was taught to express myself appropriately. I was one of the kind of college students who would take to the streets if we must, (and I did severally), the kind of high school student who would not take punishment from teacher or prefect before you hear my side of the story and this also actually happened twice or thrice (and this was enhanced better because I went to a high school that in itself had banned corporal punishment for students even when it was not yet banned in schools in the country then, cos it is currently illegal, in Kenya that is), at work I ask my bosses why, what and when if I don't get it, in church the same, I even 'challenge' my very parents' ideologies sometimes, even with all their strictness. Cos they taught me to express the me in me. I follow my convictions more often than not. Don't get me wrong, even in the midst of all of my 'toughness' and everything not withstanding, I am one really disciplined and sweet human being you'll ever come across.
What am I saying? I am saying it is possible to give a child both discipline and freedom. It's all about methodology. If you abuse either side of those, whether the discipline side or the freedom side, life will and must catch up with you sooner or later. Trust me, I have seen enough examples of life catching up with people from people I know in person and or even from stories of others I don't know in person. Life does catch up.
I love you madam
This woman is easy on the eyes! Wooooh
Rude!
If only you knew(infact you know) what has become of the world today, drugs, promiscuity, LGBTQI and all, you'd have taken a different angle of view.
As for the gossip, perhaps you keep so long to yourself to observe the obvious about society. Gossip is ubiquitous to all societies. It's a vice thou.
Hi Haddija, did you ever work at hotel Olympia near Kampala international University.
No
There's a difference between humility and low self-esteem. Sounds like what your society approved of was low self-esteem in children.
Well put my other sister from another mother
Kadija ww ujapata mushenee ya wasperee nd by the way that freedom Ur talking about being found in kenya it's not a health one. Wish Kenyans could still be like Ugandans socially.
Aiii never
"you will be a witch"your mum was told
Where I stay Kenyans gossip more than Ugandans.
🤭😂😂😂
They gossip but not in a mean way. Ugandan neighbors will let the world know how much of a "waste" you are
U must b a Ugandan 😂
Cmon now didn't Bobi wine run his mouth to the max..Ugandan version of Kanye West?..the name itself sounds offensive to Ugandans😅 given your high standards ..you would love the Japanese... extremely humble n kind folk
Hadijah i noticed that UG people wear sadistic stories about their past as a badge of honour. Almost all the youtubers 99% of their content is about negative trauma in their past. Mostly to do with parents, but now evermore its to do with arabian countries. The only common theme here is poverty and political repression, so talking about trauma is therapy for ugandans
It's because Ugandans are labeled as "humble" everywhere they go and people always step on the humble ones who they are sure won't fight back the more you accept disrespect in the name of being humble the more people will feel the need to disrespect you more. That's why Ugandans get tortured a lot at workplaces and also in relationships.
Even in Arab countries there are employers who only employ Ugandans saying they are humble.
The description she's giving is the new Kenya and worse for it. The youth these days are far too entitled and the boys have become very lazy. Sadly because they have mothers that pamper them from single parent homes.
Tell as what made you to move to Kenya ,...is its that you a married to a Kenyan
As someone who never grew in Nairobi this is not accurate at all!!!
There's some truth in it but not 100% accurate
Children should be disciplined,taught good manners and social etiquette, otherwise the world will discipline them. So you find it good manners children ordering parents?
Nanfuka, nyabo! Etiquette and good manners is part and parcel of civility. From politicians to religious leaders, sports personalities to cooperate people, entertainers to teachers......there is no better substitute for behaving well.
You probably haven't been around enough to know that Africans are prefered in western countries, especially USA, for that very reason.
Your argument doesn't hold for your past trauma. You're confusing issues here. Child abuse vs patient and kind guidance aren't two sides of the same coin.
So, for you, a child ordering an adult is okay? Besides, our manners have worked for us in many a place. I've lived in different societies, on several continents and I can tell you that a well brought up Muganda is the real deal. Rather than lean too much on either side, for me, the middle has always worked best. And, lastly, my daughter or son would never place thier limbs willy nilly just to express the so called freedom.
Not necessarily ordering, just a kid asking a grown up for what they want
She said friends to the son just can come in the house,sit wherever they want and order adults
@@Gracenew-ms7wj Adults, nowadays. It's so sad but, I guess raising kids is akin to coaching a sports team. If you want an indomitable team one must take all variables that make an A team seriously.
It's hard to inculcate a good attitude without structuring a standard moral code. Kids are innocent beings, who, when left to their own devices can turn out to be self destructive.
@@maryjane8647 It's very okay for a child to ask or air out their views and it must be done with respect. The mistake that parents make is to assume that their little ones are adults in small bodies. Closeness or familiarity with our kids should not result in contempt.
About gossip nah ..the only difference is that they about you openly when you are around but Ugandans wait when you gone ,they start.
There are some things people do nga in Uganda someone has to talk about it but I always find myself nga I'm the only one who noticed when everyone is just minding their business.
I like your view very observant person you are but however let's call a spade a spade there's what is universally seen as bad conduct like disrespect, it's okay to address it without traumatizing a child, for instance the behavior of ordering you around to change remote I know wouldn't be seen as normal even to some of the most liberal parents. There's also a tendency where bad manners are misconstrued for stubbornness or confidence let's learn the difference. The goal is to raise confident children who also are respectful in society because these are the people who you'll find always in confrontations with their bosses, after all they used to always get away with it and disrespect was encouraged in the name of confidence.
It is also true that Uganda teaches meekness or being humble right from childhood in the most extreme forms but I think there should be a balance while doing this because the truth is people that grow up knowing the world owes them nothing maneuver through challenges easier than one who thought they will always get what they want.
I'm with you but it's hard to balance because sometimes the children need to be lightly punished by parents. However, in Uganda the whole neighborhood and even strangers always feel the need to traumatize a child in the name of morals
Heheeehe 😂 Ati there’s no gossiping in Kenya? You’ve got to be kidding us! I don’t know of people who like to gossip and backbite more than Kenyans! Lol they just do it secretly and in your absence! 🗣️
I've never been around a Kenyan who gossip😂
@@hadijjahnanfuka Kenyans gossip where they trust each other.
I work with Kenyan but they gossip as much as Ugandans do.😂😂
@@namusokecaroline7197kenyans mostly ghost in public bt ug ghost in private and they can tarnish your name forever 😂😂😂
She needs to do more research,Kenyans gossip
The views you've expressed in this video will change when your kids grow older. In one of the videos you said it's very common for old kenyans to live alone which is not the case in Uganda. Have you stopped to ask yourself why that is? Instill discipline in your kids when they are still young. You'll be thankful for it in your old age.
It's ok to correct kids when they are wrong but some people take it far
@@hadijjahnanfuka i agree with you on that. But you made it sound like it's ok for kids to talk back at their parents which isn't right. Teaching them to speak their minds, to be confident and to believe in themselves has nothing to do with instilling discipline in them. If they talk back at their parents and sit anyhow they want around grownups, that's indiscipline. See they don't even condone that in catholic schools, which are a system set up by white missionaries. Teach your kids the things you want them to be, but remember to also instill discipline in them.
@@Michael-gu1rqYou can't have it both ways. It's either you instill fear in them in the name of discipline or you let them be...
@@jameskamotho7513 there's a difference between instilling fear and instilling discipline. Why are you people confusing these things?
@@Michael-gu1rq Because both go hand in hand. It's not even a point of contention. How do you ensure discipline other than by promising future punishment, such that these people have to walk on eggshells?
I think the right wording for what you are trying to say is.. that Ugandans have more mannerisms and are more cultured than Kenyans. Cristism and Gossip have a negative connotation.. Am Uganda and I have Kenyan relatives so I understand what you are saying. But the terms cristism and Gossip in a way negatively distort the perspective you are trying to put across.
If you're a Ugandan then you should know that relatives and neighbors gossip about teenagers. It's always "Muwala wa gundi yepanka, yetwalila wagulu". Or "ogwo omusege oba gwakulila wa". So yes it's gossip and unnecessary criticism
But you've just discribed the disadvantages only of Ugandan parents being harsh and strict you have not given the advantages of it. Can you seethe rate at how kenyan teneegers are being spoil? For example hormal sexuality they dont even fear to stand on cameras and proudly talk how they are part of it? So alot of challenges with too much freedom
All that is learned from social media and TV. Even kid's shows these days contain homosexuality content. Some of us were not allowed to watch TV at all. So maybe watch the content they consume
I think you isolate your self .lm a Ugandan married in Kenya for ten years but Kenyans are good in gossiping 😅 hehehehe nyabo bano bageeyaaaaaaaa.
Munange I rarely go outside I don't even have friends but kyemanyi tebamalako bana Mirembe. Bana Uganda bayinze okuyita omusege just because oyambade bubi
Yes but not in saloons and public spaces .People gossip everywhere but Ugandan gossips even here in Canada is too much
@@hadijjahnanfuka l hate the way they nature their kids.. Eeeeee I rather dare with criticism whose results is discipline than giving my child alot of freedom yet in future tajakuba nampisa.Ate Kenyans also criticise regardless of their love .Fe tukola we associate with many of them whose hearts you even wonder . Nyabo bano balabe duka nokufumbirwa omuna Kenya kibaluma batu so sosoola batubuza ewamwe tewaliyo basajja😂😂😂😂
@@NileGoddess Gossip in Africa is a disease. Abana Kenya bageya oh my goodness basala nomugambo.Nze mbalimu for ten years but their hearts hmmmmm atleast Ugandans ate bano basosola .These people bazibu nyooooooooooooooooooooo
@@nalubwamahenrietta4562 bo bazibu nyo
kids here are spoiled brat
You used one sample of a gossiping Ugandan to make an audacious conclusion. The sample size is too small!
I had a lot to say I just can't fit that in one video.
Looks like you dont like ugandans much.... pole sana. Nothing bears a well-behaved child; discipline does not require hurting the child.
I like my people I just don't like the way they treat children
@hadijjahnanfuka nit everyone treats their child violently. Discipline is a gift to the child who is growing to become a member of society. You are making a blanket or sweeping statement about your people. I was disciplined as a child and I am better for it and confident. My parents were not violent either. I owe everthing I have to them. I think our inclination towards social etiquette is wonderful and should not be confused with violent discipline or raising children who lack self-confidence.
I also do not believe there is a group of people who do not indulge in the vice of gossip as you call it.
She could have gone through an experience with the Ugandan family that traumatized her
@@Gracenew-ms7wj exactly, everyone's experience is different
Child: "mummy, here is my fiancee (fellow boy)". Child has stood up for himself in a "free society".
Mummy: "it's ok, your fiancee looks beautiful"
2nd child: "mummy, what do you think of my onlyfans page?"
Mummy: "Wow! 😯, it's growing really fast. Proud of you my child. Keep it up"
Imagine that!
Plenty of Ugandan corn out there, their good manners didn't stop them
You want to be like Kenyans?? You're doomed
p00
Hadijjah I see your culture has now changed since you stayed in Kenya so your OK with your daughter to introduce to you that mom this is my fiancee remember gay and lesbian has taken over the country so be ready.
Maybe change what you expose a child to. Monitor what they watch on tv and also talk to them about somethings. There's no need of punishment for that
Kwenda uko SHEITANI ASHINDWE
Thank you ...what you expose your children to is the key. @@hadijjahnanfuka..about discipline, there are somethings that punishing a child for isn't really sense full . We (I ) was disciplined for somethings but others I was encouraged to stand up for myself regardless of who is doing it ( but in a respectful way unless otherwise)