My mother told not to accept anything, money, expensive gifts from a man you don't want to deal with... I took her advice and it saved me alot of trouble 😊
My father made it very clear to my sisters, and I, and under no circumstance should we accept a date with a man just to get a free meal. He said, you ate good last night. You’re eating today. There’s a damn good chance that you’re gonna eat tomorrow. If you don’t appreciate the quality of the person that you’re going out with then you need to keep your hungry tail at home. That’s a lesson that I pass on my kids as well.
@cjtaylor right and even more important, males should 🛑🛑🛑 begging for, crying for sex if they don't want that woman as a wife! RC Blakes Jr. Speaks on this!
I absolutely believe the woman is the prize, but i also believe the right man is also the prize and both should treat each other with gratitude and respect ❤❤
There’s a difference between chasing and pursing . Chasing is when a guy is after a woman that is not interested in him. Pursuing is a man that is after a woman that is interested in him and reciprocates his pursuits!
Exactly! So thankful for this message. Watching all this videos makes me question myself. I dont want a guy to chase me, but i do want to feel persued.
Wow! I am about to do the same, and boy everything feels so new. It's like i kinda forgot almost everything but i am trusting God to really help me. All the best with your journey.
Exactly. After doing it a couple times (i.e., I'm not super into him, but I'll give it one more date, and at the worst at least I'll get food), I don't want to go on any more dates with men I'm lukewarm about. Society set us up for failure telling us to not worry about attraction and focus on him being a good guy.
This I can cook. This is another reason why I don't waste time dating men I am not attracted to (in any way) just to have a man. This is just as bad as dating men just for free food knowing u don't like him.
@@digthewarmth exactly. It's such bad advice when women are told to date men they aren't into who are into you just for resources we can develop ourselves. I can't fake attraction just to have a man. I'd rather be single.
He cosigned and put a down-payment on my car, but I didn't ask, he volunteered. When I got my tax refund I paid him back. He did that to gain control. I just didn't know that at the time.
@@MeetStephanSpeaksplease do a video on how men set up control like this. Mine had gotten his name on everything, switched without my knowledge and in the end he even owned my dang phone number that I had since I was a teenager because Verizon only allows one account manager and he refused to allow my phone number to transfer accounts. Also, I was just an “authorized user” on a credit card, even though the bank made it sound like it was our joint card, they did not explain the terms and at no point did they ask who should be the main account holder. He knew how to make sure he was in control of everything …even Costco only allows one account manager on the card so I lost my Costco membership and points, etc. women need to be more informed about this stuff. Also, please address how we can be firm and protect ourselves from stuff like this without disrespecting the man we are with or communicating distrust but rather just being careful, smart and safe. I want to always have one seperate account for myself where I can set aside money so I will be able to leave if necessary. I don’t need to hide this from a partner, but it will only be in my name and I don’t know how to tell a new partner that without it having a negative affect. This is just what I’ve learned after my divorce and I never want to be in the same situation again. ***also, I look and act normal, but I have a disability and only a small, even possibly temporary income for that. I am traditional and believe a man should pay and be the breadwinner, but I see men get downright mean and ugly about women who don’t have money. It’s out of my control. I was a badass nurse before I became disabled and worked hard and made good money. There’s a slight chance I may be able to bring back half the income I used to have, but I very much doubt it. I’m scared to even start dating and feel pre-humiliated and judged about finances. I’m not a gold digger. I do want to be comfortable and have financial safety, as does anyone. I’m a grateful and respectful person and I’m not a big spender. I will have some medical bills, but have decent enough insurance. Please do a video for women in situations where it’s obvious that she doesn’t have enough money but is a good woman deserving of love and brings more to the table…but how can we even bring this up and handle it in a graceful way, maintain self esteem, how should we expect a decent man to respond, etc because it seems like men don’t want to touch women like this with a ten foot pole and that feels very dehumanizing right off the bat. I don’t even want to talk to a man because of it. I was a very independent woman and prided myself in that and do feel unsafe not being able to provide myself and having to rely on a man potentially so I’m more unhappy about it than any man would be, but I won’t let it spoil how I act or treat a man regarding the issue, but I don’t want to start a relationship until I know what to say and how to say it in the most graceful way. I want to be respected and be seen as a whole human being and not immediately trigger fears and suspicion that I’m out for money. I’d rather be homeless than just be with someone for money. I would never do that. I want a real relationship and have a lot of other things to give/contribute. I don’t think they’ll be able to see past the money….should I keep finances private and not talk about it until things get more serious?
I try to show the guy I appreciate him by cooking him a home cooked meal weekly. He does take me out to eat or do something fun every week. I am a good cook and thought it was a nice way to say thank you.
Thank you Stephen for all your inspirational videos. I especially love the ones, where you speak about the importance of putting "God first" in our life's; and trusting that God will send the right person for us. You talk about "healing" which is also very important and setting boundaries. This is my first time commenting, but I do watch all your videos. Stay blessed! And keep up the good work that you are doing. ❤🙏🏾
I still love the traditional men who has no problem going the extra mile. Chivalrous! It keeps me in my feminine energy. I love a GENTLE man. We must be healed!
Stephan I clicked your video and the first one is what I am experiencing. I was acting nonchalantly but not intentionally. I just wasn’t bothering him because he has a demanding job and I was giving him the space to do what he needs to but it backed fired as he didn’t think I was interested and trust me it was totally the other way around. He went ghost and just disclosed to me today as to that’s why. I may have ruined this but it has taught me a valuable lesson. You are spot on. 😢
10:30 You are right in this..... Some people may have much more work, because of problems saying no, or is too lenient to refuse helping. Then the partner may think, he isnt interested in me, and then the family may misunderstand his true purpose, its just miscommunication. he gets the heat of responsibilities, is mostly to blame for being good person. The surface misunderstanding looks different as the real truthful personality. Communication is good tool.
Great information ❤the one that stood out to me. Offering to pay. I love taking a man out if he shows he deserves it. Like his birthday or just to say thank you for loving me, but I’ll keep praying for a wonderful man.
Great video. And yes The relationship should exist of the two with the guidance of God. Open communication and transparency is key. God will never lead you in the wrong direction. Always Love Almeta ❤
My love language is TIME and so when a guy has said they'll take me out to dinner I said you don't have to do that I'd just appreciate your time (not saying I don't enjoy other things). It's NOT all about spending money for SOME women, lol. I don't know if that was a shot in the foot for me, but that's what I deem MORE important. ✨
Still allow them to take you out bc it might come off as you require minimal & low effort, and that's where the bar will start .. on the floor. Men by nature invest their money & time in what they value most. Ijs
That's a different move. Especially in this society that is transactional. Men not understanding why they keep marching raw into dirty fed workers. That's why. They all about money on the table FIRST, din din, setting up spyware, and using their incestuous relationships to seal the deals.
Thank you, Stephan for this making this video! Blessings sent your way.❤️🙏🏽 Can you do a video about why men misinterpret what women is say, listening to understand, and asking questions when they don't understand something?
Maybe it is because I haven't dated much, but, even though I am a guy, I can't say that I hate all of this stuff that Stephan mentioned. Of course, like Stephan says, there are exceptions to things. And this by no means makes me like this video any less because I almost always enjoy his videos and also the stuff that he addresses in between the main topics, especially in this one where he addressed the possible boundary of not being alone in houses at all. That really encouraged me because that has been one of my boundaries for a long time. I also enjoy the way Stephan confronts this stuff in humorous ways too. Normally, the money issue can sound like a cliche, but I almost felt like rolling over laughing with the way Stephan brought it up. 😂. I don't mind money being brought up unless it is happening repetitively in an unhealthy way. I see that as a chance to get to know the other person's financial belief systems.
Why am I nonchalant? I'm afraid of them knowing me then eventually leave me just because they learned I'm weird/pathetic/different. You can also say I have a fear of being left alone after knowing the whole me. Since the day I remember, people are like that, leave me after knowing me. In order to detach easily, I will not attach myself.. I will not let them know the whole me..
I like this video very much it fits my situation very much, and I'm giving you an A+ for hitting on a subject that I have not come across you talking about.😅😊🎉
I needed to see this video. It's made me reflect on a few behaviors that i need to work on. Hey, sometimes we need sumn to hit us in the face figuratively, before we really see it. Or maybe that's just me. Have a blessed hump day ya'll! 🙏🏾❤️💪🏾
I agree…I would think he should pay. When I dated my husband I offered to pay or contribute at times…he was not happy about that and never took the offer….absolutely told me to never offer again. Men that expect you to pay your part of the date I would be very cautious of.
As a woman I NEVER allow kids pay if I am around. Woman generally take care of kids and men take care of women (and kids). If I was a true honest man that wants a woman as my wife, I would make sure she’s well taken care of and paid for especially if I asked her out. Only players and low investment men expect women to pay.. it’s such a turn off.
@@BashaerB-h2c you're not a child though. If you are a grown adult and have a job and don't contribute, you should not be in a relationship. I've met women offer to pay, but I go one step further to see if you're genuine and always take that offer. I won't say it at the time, but if there is a second date then I will pay for the second and it will be nicer.
I randomly just chose a video but as much advice as I take from you I need a one on one. I don't care what it costs... I need a one on one... I need more clarity. You speak in general but I need something more direct. How do I get a one on one session?
Stephen, I really love your videos. They are the best and so real. Your videos speak to me and I feel is real advice and perspective. It has really helped me. Especially the assumption part and multiple voices giving you "advice".
I'm so glad you posted this video. Even though its nothing new under the sun when it comes to dating you highlighted some things I never knew about when dating, so thank you. ❤ I really need you to have a comfortable week.❤
Ima be honest, it’s tricky with the offering to pay because so many men, I can only speak for black because that the demographic I deal with, have seen their mothers take on so much, they expect you to take care of them, very very hypergamous. I’m genuinely generous as a Leo woman, I want to make my man feel some kind of way in every way but it often gets taken advantage of which is why now I’m so guarded. It really does suck. I know I self sabotage, but the risk is just so scary.
This is my exact story but finally found someone that takes care of me in every way. Be patient. The right man that will appreciate you & reciprocate is out there.
Completely agree with the second point. I almost ruined my relationship with the one due to wrong advices. We need to know everyone’s choice is different and ability to understand any situation is different. We are the Best judge about our things. I am now fixing things with my Man and just listening to my heart.
Hey young man, hope all is well, been busy taking care of business, haven't seen your videos, what women these days, have no idea what to do for themselves, not understanding their business is no one else's business, if they like it, we love it, what goes on with them, is between them, I know, don't get to smart, keep up the amazing work helping those who have no idea, stay blessed and let's go! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I can say for me, the switching up the intimacy is cause the guy sucks at whatever sexual thing was done. Honestly if the guy sucks at kissing, it won’t go further. 😂
I have heard that when a woman and a man are in love the quality of sex doesn’t matter anymore. And there is no comparison. So I honestly don’t know if that is a true statement but people have told me that when you are with the right person it doesn’t matter. I’ve never had sex or been married so I can’t speak to it but I do know that most people agree that when it’s the right person that doesn’t matter so much.
@@hojbeadstudioand also when you both love each other you will learn how to please your partner anyway by paying attention. Being sexually satisfied does matter it’s just that i believe most couples adapt after awhile and it becomes good.
“Interested” isn’t the problem. The problem is when someone doesn’t give the other space…constantly calling and texting and expecting to spend way too much time together (this all depends on how far along you are in the dating process and should be discussed, not just assumed) and gets mad when they don’t hear from the other person immediately and wants to know where they are/what they’re doing. People WANT to know if someone is interested, they just don’t want the crazy.
Appreciate all your work you put out there 🙏 Would it be possible to make a video more in depth about how to properly speak and hear out Gods message when seeking guidance?
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 th-cam.com/video/X5GBouqprUo/w-d-xo.html
I was just praying about #4 and you spoke directly to me. These videos and the topics and things you speak about are not just words there prophetic. There have numerous occasions where I pray about a situation and you post a comment or a video confirming the exact thing I just prayed about. God bless you and may he continue to pour his wisdom upon you. Going to purchase your books ASAP.
I don't like the word "hate" since it sooooo harsh. Prefer "don't like"...especially for these types of things being described. These are things that men don't like.
What if I acted non-chalant because this was his second time coming around after rejecting me and I was trying to make sure he was serious this time? I was trying to go slowly to gauge his level of interest, and then two weeks later I find out he was seeing someone else. Did I do the right thing?
On the offering to pay; I went on 2 dates with a man. The first date I split the bill with him even though his share was much more than mine plus covered the tip. I also paid for drinks at the first place because they only took cash. The second date I paid for everything. There was no 3rd date because he didn't offer to pay for anything. He wanted to move in with me to help me with my new house, BUT he wasn't going to help with bills but expected me to pay him for any repairs he did. WTAH? Nope nope nope.
How long did you get to know him before you went out with him on the first date? I probably would have discerned after the first date that he wasn't for me but glad you cut it off. When I offer, I've been told no but would have been willing to pay half or the tip.
Men act nonchalant around me all the time so I guess they aren’t the right ones. The right guy in my opinion will put in more effort and make it crystal clear how he truly feels about me and won’t be ashamed about it
@8:00mins What if that man is for you, what if there's a good possibility for a relationship but that man is not fond of being pursued by a woman, he'd be turned off? In some cultures such as the Caribbean, India and parts of Continental Africa this would not be a positive move for a woman, she'd be seen as desperate or worse. I don't believe pursuing a man is a woman's role. The traditional approach is more fun & rewarding for both sexes. Even worse is when the man accepts the pursuit only for temporary gratification and tells everyone how it all happened because SHE PURSUED ME.
100% agree. I’m middle eastern and it’s ALWAYS been men pursuing women but the younger generation of men (my generation) are trying to flip the script then cry when they don’t find “feminine women”. The egg never chases the sperm!!! It’s such a turn off and I’m sure many men secretly feel the women is desperate and pathetic when she chases men even if he initially is excited by her attention.
I’m in something with a guy. I told him I was feeling a certain way the only thing he said I had a good heart and he doesn’t know me enough for anything else.
It means I was right I don't chase cause I've had communication with wemen who actually show interest and reciprocate a nonchalant is a no for me. Man dropping jams👌🏾
God Bless You! Stephan...Let's be mindful; we create all experiences in our lives, including the relationships for our Souls growth. ❤ Peace and Love, Minister Hanifah Hightower, Detroit
The second one hits too close to home. It’s true from female perspective too. When I got introduced to someone through relatives I hate when a guy says everything to his family and there was a time when a guy even complained about me. So when I see signs of this i immediately stop seeing/talking to him.
I absolutely love your videos. The truth is the truth. That's what you give. Jesus bless you. You have been so helpful in my life, especially currently. Thank you.
I believe in a man being a protector/provider, I'll ask who's paying or tipping. It dives me nuts when men say no thanks I've got it. For me, until I get settled into a relationship I prefer to offer or at least half pay.
Overly Nonchalant Too many other people involved in the early stages of dating Acting entitled and never willing to pay Switching up on him when it comes to intimacy Asking for money or help with the bill
@stephan I met a guy and things were going some what perfect. It was so good that I got scared, I prayed about it and asked God to show me if there were any hidden things he was keeping from me. Any way after a few weeks I texted him and asked him to call me, he then said he wasn't alone at the moment and that he forgot to talk to me about that other person. I got really upset and told him that I'm not about to meddle in people's relationships and he needs to work out whatever issues he had and I can't see him anymore. He didn't take it well because he said we could talk about it and I am making alot of assumptions. I'm wondering if I flew the handle before knowing the whole story, we still communicate but things are not the same.
Sounds like you prayed for God to reveal any hidden things but you didn’t allow Gods work to come to fruition. You jumped the gun before allowing him to present it. He may have wanted to disclosed that he was currently ending whatever was going on with prior to meeting you. When you jumped the gun it could have caused him to doubt his decision. One good sign is he is still in communication with you. Just give him time. Things will turn around.
I don’t talk to females about my situation with a man I usually talk to men about it it is better I was dating someone and it ended and I’m so upset he used to work together and found each other a year later started dating and all of a sudden he saying he had at texting so I brought up that he was never had at it a man is consistent with a women he like and then he finally tells me “maybe I’m not ready” “u seem like u need a lot from me and idk if I have the time for u like u expect” so I literally had to tell him I’m not trying to rush anything I just show a lot of love and have a very big heart but not rushing and I can’t expect a lot where we are and him having 2 jobs being a flight attendant and bartender
When a woman starts hinting for money, that’s his cue to say , “Don’t worry, stay in Faith. God said HE will supply all of our needs according to HIS riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Let’s pray together for what you need. “ 🙏 ( lol boom, issue resolved)
I relate to this so much.. it’s been a challenge returning to my authentic, soft, vulnerable yet strong & confident self. The balance of it all. I’m so afraid of dating after that type of abuse.. when i learned to survive through strategy & tactics & being hyper vigilant. Exhausting!!
He's so nonchalant with me.. so annoying.. and we are long distant now.. it drives me crazy he doesn't show me anything more.. but he texts me every day like it's all good 🙈 please tell me what to do with the guy like that.. i already gave him cues about calling me, telling some nice words or him coming to visit me but he's still takes no action.. I feel he is too undecided. Whst can I do to help him a bit more.. ignore him or explain him what I expect?
If I meet someone online I always suggest going dutch for the first meeting, right off the bat, so they don’t feel like they’re just a free meal. It also makes sure that I don’t feel obligated in any way.
A seemingly accomplished man a one hour flight away, whom I’ve yet to see in person, has been texting and talking a few times for a year now. He always tells me how seriously interested he is in me. However, I’ve lost count how many times he’s said he would call and did not, as well as text and sending a voice message during holiday season instead of simply talking to me. He says I should call him now. Stephan! We’ve not even met in person yet even though he’s just an hour away. His lack of keeping his words and follow through has diminished my interest, respect, and trust for him.
Well, the only time I ever brought up bills after living in my home for over 12 years is when I was helping my ex out. That’s when I asked because he needed some help. I wasn’t going to let him just free-load after knowing he had the activity of his limbs, a free laptop to apply for jobs and a reliable car to get to work back and forth. Yes, you’re not going to just lay up, now work and pay. I have a whole Son who was doing that.
Thanks for the informative video Stephan. However, I'm a bit confused about the difference between being nonchalant and not chasing. In my mind, chasing is the one taking the initiative and being nonchalant is the opposite. So, how can you not chase after a man but have your behavior come across as not being nonchalant? There must be a nuance I am missing. 🤔
I could be wrong, but I take Nonchalant in the context that he is mentioning as being more like apathetic or acting like you don't care if you are in a relationship or not. Basically, not caring, or acting like not caring.
Chasing is what is happening right now. Mind manipulation. Cat n mouse games. Tom n Jerry. Cosplaying as grown people but really are demons. Having a nonchalant attitude is more going with the flow in the same direction. Mainstream is by force and its pulling people away from God. Going independent is using your single time wisely and doing the hard stuff without putting people above your purpose. That is seen as masculine, but it's smart. No ego should be attached.
im dating a new guy....@ 8:54, my brother says don't tell any women. My girlfriend says "He's dating for sure...".Im tearing my hair out taking the poll. She's very jealous and bitter I believe. yes, the "negative perception." I try not to call that girl anymore. most women don't want to hear it.
❤ Get your copy of "How To Get A Man To Cherish You" here 👉www.becherishedbyhim.com
I have a scenario I would love to get your advice on!!
What if the guy starts out not communicating. He would not return calls or text.
😊
My mother told not to accept anything, money, expensive gifts from a man you don't want to deal with... I took her advice and it saved me alot of trouble 😊
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You are welcome ❤️
Great female role model, good morals for a lighter life.🤍
Your mom is such a wise lady honey. I was never taught that but I picked up quickly on my own regarding such things.😊
@@EmeraldLuvsYouALL Thank you. She was a teacher and all class. She is not here with us, but she left great values for me and people that knew her❤️
My father made it very clear to my sisters, and I, and under no circumstance should we accept a date with a man just to get a free meal. He said, you ate good last night. You’re eating today. There’s a damn good chance that you’re gonna eat tomorrow. If you don’t appreciate the quality of the person that you’re going out with then you need to keep your hungry tail at home. That’s a lesson that I pass on my kids as well.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
🎯
👌
Wow what a great dad❤
@cjtaylor right and even more important, males should 🛑🛑🛑 begging for, crying for sex if they don't want that woman as a wife! RC Blakes Jr. Speaks on this!
I absolutely believe the woman is the prize, but i also believe the right man is also the prize and both should treat each other with gratitude and respect ❤❤
There’s a difference between chasing and pursing . Chasing is when a guy is after a woman that is not interested in him. Pursuing is a man that is after a woman that is interested in him and reciprocates his pursuits!
I love the clarity of this! Thank you!
💯🙌
❤ love how you have defined it
Exactly! So thankful for this message. Watching all this videos makes me question myself. I dont want a guy to chase me, but i do want to feel persued.
I’ve been single for 5 years and I JUST started dating again. I’m binge watching ALL of Stephan’s Videos. 🤞🏾🤞🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Wow! I am about to do the same, and boy everything feels so new. It's like i kinda forgot almost everything but i am trusting God to really help me. All the best with your journey.
Me too😊
Same LOL idk how to date right now I forgot
I can’t fathom tolerating an unwanted date and wasting both our time for free food. I’d rather buy it myself and eat alone 😂
Thank you for sharing I appreciate that 🙏🏼
Exactly. After doing it a couple times (i.e., I'm not super into him, but I'll give it one more date, and at the worst at least I'll get food), I don't want to go on any more dates with men I'm lukewarm about. Society set us up for failure telling us to not worry about attraction and focus on him being a good guy.
This I can cook. This is another reason why I don't waste time dating men I am not attracted to (in any way) just to have a man. This is just as bad as dating men just for free food knowing u don't like him.
@@digthewarmth exactly. It's such bad advice when women are told to date men they aren't into who are into you just for resources we can develop ourselves. I can't fake attraction just to have a man. I'd rather be single.
Amen!
He cosigned and put a down-payment on my car, but I didn't ask, he volunteered. When I got my tax refund I paid him back. He did that to gain control. I just didn't know that at the time.
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaksplease do a video on how men set up control like this. Mine had gotten his name on everything, switched without my knowledge and in the end he even owned my dang phone number that I had since I was a teenager because Verizon only allows one account manager and he refused to allow my phone number to transfer accounts. Also, I was just an “authorized user” on a credit card, even though the bank made it sound like it was our joint card, they did not explain the terms and at no point did they ask who should be the main account holder. He knew how to make sure he was in control of everything …even Costco only allows one account manager on the card so I lost my Costco membership and points, etc. women need to be more informed about this stuff. Also, please address how we can be firm and protect ourselves from stuff like this without disrespecting the man we are with or communicating distrust but rather just being careful, smart and safe. I want to always have one seperate account for myself where I can set aside money so I will be able to leave if necessary. I don’t need to hide this from a partner, but it will only be in my name and I don’t know how to tell a new partner that without it having a negative affect. This is just what I’ve learned after my divorce and I never want to be in the same situation again. ***also, I look and act normal, but I have a disability and only a small, even possibly temporary income for that. I am traditional and believe a man should pay and be the breadwinner, but I see men get downright mean and ugly about women who don’t have money. It’s out of my control. I was a badass nurse before I became disabled and worked hard and made good money. There’s a slight chance I may be able to bring back half the income I used to have, but I very much doubt it. I’m scared to even start dating and feel pre-humiliated and judged about finances. I’m not a gold digger. I do want to be comfortable and have financial safety, as does anyone. I’m a grateful and respectful person and I’m not a big spender. I will have some medical bills, but have decent enough insurance. Please do a video for women in situations where it’s obvious that she doesn’t have enough money but is a good woman deserving of love and brings more to the table…but how can we even bring this up and handle it in a graceful way, maintain self esteem, how should we expect a decent man to respond, etc because it seems like men don’t want to touch women like this with a ten foot pole and that feels very dehumanizing right off the bat. I don’t even want to talk to a man because of it. I was a very independent woman and prided myself in that and do feel unsafe not being able to provide myself and having to rely on a man potentially so I’m more unhappy about it than any man would be, but I won’t let it spoil how I act or treat a man regarding the issue, but I don’t want to start a relationship until I know what to say and how to say it in the most graceful way. I want to be respected and be seen as a whole human being and not immediately trigger fears and suspicion that I’m out for money. I’d rather be homeless than just be with someone for money. I would never do that. I want a real relationship and have a lot of other things to give/contribute. I don’t think they’ll be able to see past the money….should I keep finances private and not talk about it until things get more serious?
😂😂 " sensitive about money they don't even have" took me OUT! 😂😭🤣😂
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks same 💞 you're the only man I listen to 😜 until I meet the man God has for me that is 😅
Dear Future Husband, your wifey is learning from one of the BEST Ever! Watch out!! 😂 Thank you Stephan 🙏
My pleasure ❤️
Stephan, I haven't watched the video entirely yet lol but just wanted to thank you for all that you do! ❤ APPRECIATE YOUR WORK 🎉
I appreciate that ❤️
I try to show the guy I appreciate him by cooking him a home cooked meal weekly. He does take me out to eat or do something fun every week. I am a good cook and thought it was a nice way to say thank you.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
U shouldn't do that..only when you are exclusive
When Stephan Speaks 🗣️ I Listen👂🏽 I'm going on a date soon and I'ma put what I learn to use😊
❤ 🙂
Thank you Stephen for all your inspirational videos. I especially love the ones, where you speak about the importance of putting "God first" in our life's; and trusting that God will send the right person for us. You talk about "healing" which is also very important and setting boundaries. This is my first time commenting, but I do watch all your videos. Stay blessed! And keep up the good work that you are doing. ❤🙏🏾
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thank you, I'm separated cuz my husband left, please pray for our marriage ❤
I love your advice but it is so funny how many times you say hear me out in your videos because you know they’re coming for you with the rebuttals 😂
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts!
😅 me, too. I crack up bc I know he’s right and which buttons get pushed.
I still love the traditional men who has no problem going the extra mile. Chivalrous! It keeps me in my feminine energy. I love a GENTLE man. We must be healed!
They are mostly in a container somewhere stuck.
Stephan I clicked your video and the first one is what I am experiencing. I was acting nonchalantly but not intentionally. I just wasn’t bothering him because he has a demanding job and I was giving him the space to do what he needs to but it backed fired as he didn’t think I was interested and trust me it was totally the other way around. He went ghost and just disclosed to me today as to that’s why. I may have ruined this but it has taught me a valuable lesson. You are spot on. 😢
*Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.*
It definitely isn't an easy situation but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏🏼❤️
10:30 You are right in this..... Some people may have much more work, because of problems saying no, or is too lenient to refuse helping.
Then the partner may think, he isnt interested in me, and then the family may misunderstand his true purpose, its just miscommunication.
he gets the heat of responsibilities, is mostly to blame for being good person.
The surface misunderstanding looks different as the real truthful personality. Communication is good tool.
This advice resonates differently when I listen from a healed place. Good stuff.
Great information ❤the one that stood out to me. Offering to pay. I love taking a man out if he shows he deserves it. Like his birthday or just to say thank you for loving me, but I’ll keep praying for a wonderful man.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you 🙏🏼
Great video. And yes The relationship should exist of the two with the guidance of God. Open communication and transparency is key. God will never lead you in the wrong direction.
Always Love Almeta ❤
Wow l really your advice
My love language is TIME and so when a guy has said they'll take me out to dinner I said you don't have to do that I'd just appreciate your time (not saying I don't enjoy other things). It's NOT all about spending money for SOME women, lol. I don't know if that was a shot in the foot for me, but that's what I deem MORE important. ✨
Thank you for sharing I appreciate that ❤️
Still allow them to take you out bc it might come off as you require minimal & low effort, and that's where the bar will start .. on the floor. Men by nature invest their money & time in what they value most. Ijs
@@bijouxbijoux You're absolutely correct ‼️💯 Thank you! ✨
That's a different move. Especially in this society that is transactional. Men not understanding why they keep marching raw into dirty fed workers. That's why. They all about money on the table FIRST, din din, setting up spyware, and using their incestuous relationships to seal the deals.
Thank you, Stephan for this making this video!
Blessings sent your way.❤️🙏🏽
Can you do a video about why men misinterpret what women is say, listening to understand, and asking questions when they don't understand something?
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
That’s valuable!
Love this young man. Helps me so much. Ty for helping. Love he give God the glory and love his personality. His lady is so blessed
Maybe it is because I haven't dated much, but, even though I am a guy, I can't say that I hate all of this stuff that Stephan mentioned. Of course, like Stephan says, there are exceptions to things. And this by no means makes me like this video any less because I almost always enjoy his videos and also the stuff that he addresses in between the main topics, especially in this one where he addressed the possible boundary of not being alone in houses at all. That really encouraged me because that has been one of my boundaries for a long time. I also enjoy the way Stephan confronts this stuff in humorous ways too. Normally, the money issue can sound like a cliche, but I almost felt like rolling over laughing with the way Stephan brought it up. 😂. I don't mind money being brought up unless it is happening repetitively in an unhealthy way. I see that as a chance to get to know the other person's financial belief systems.
Agree…Stephan has a delightful personality and just cracks me up at times! 😂❤
Thank you for pouring into us these truths🙏🏼
You helped me a lot Watching your videos. Keep up the good work and God bless you.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Very helpful. Thank you!
🙌🏽🌟♥️
My pleasure ❤️
I luuuv ur positive tone and advice soo much!
Why am I nonchalant? I'm afraid of them knowing me then eventually leave me just because they learned I'm weird/pathetic/different. You can also say I have a fear of being left alone after knowing the whole me. Since the day I remember, people are like that, leave me after knowing me. In order to detach easily, I will not attach myself.. I will not let them know the whole me..
I like this video very much it fits my situation very much, and I'm giving you an A+ for hitting on a subject that I have not come across you talking about.😅😊🎉
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Interesting video, oh and burnt orange looks really good on you!🙏🏾
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
I needed to see this video. It's made me reflect on a few behaviors that i need to work on. Hey, sometimes we need sumn to hit us in the face figuratively, before we really see it. Or maybe that's just me. Have a blessed hump day ya'll! 🙏🏾❤️💪🏾
That's literally how the hardest lesson come. It has it hurt bad enough to never try it again.
I agree…I would think he should pay. When I dated my husband I offered to pay or contribute at times…he was not happy about that and never took the offer….absolutely told me to never offer again. Men that expect you to pay your part of the date I would be very cautious of.
As a woman I NEVER allow kids pay if I am around. Woman generally take care of kids and men take care of women (and kids). If I was a true honest man that wants a woman as my wife, I would make sure she’s well taken care of and paid for especially if I asked her out. Only players and low investment men expect women to pay.. it’s such a turn off.
@@BashaerB-h2c you're not a child though. If you are a grown adult and have a job and don't contribute, you should not be in a relationship. I've met women offer to pay, but I go one step further to see if you're genuine and always take that offer. I won't say it at the time, but if there is a second date then I will pay for the second and it will be nicer.
I’ve never done it but he got mad at me for not telling him I was struggling financially because I lost my job 🤦🏻♀️
I randomly just chose a video but as much advice as I take from you I need a one on one. I don't care what it costs... I need a one on one... I need more clarity. You speak in general but I need something more direct. How do I get a one on one session?
Great video ! Some women do sabotage the circumstance of what could be a potential great relationship !!!
❤️ 🙂 thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate that!
Stephen, I really love your videos. They are the best and so real. Your videos speak to me and I feel is real advice and perspective. It has really helped me. Especially the assumption part and multiple voices giving you "advice".
I like your set up and lighting on this video, Stephan! 😊❤️
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Now that I understand what you men HATE
Am in a much better position now to go on a date
Thanks coach Stephan
My pleasure ❤️
Damn. Feels like this app can read my mind. You dead on with this one. ⭐️🤴
I'm so glad you posted this video. Even though its nothing new under the sun when it comes to dating you highlighted some things I never knew about when dating, so thank you. ❤ I really need you to have a comfortable week.❤
Ima be honest, it’s tricky with the offering to pay because so many men, I can only speak for black because that the demographic I deal with, have seen their mothers take on so much, they expect you to take care of them, very very hypergamous. I’m genuinely generous as a Leo woman, I want to make my man feel some kind of way in every way but it often gets taken advantage of which is why now I’m so guarded. It really does suck. I know I self sabotage, but the risk is just so scary.
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
That’s exactly what I was thinking about too
This is my exact story but finally found someone that takes care of me in every way. Be patient. The right man that will appreciate you & reciprocate is out there.
Completely agree with the second point. I almost ruined my relationship with the one due to wrong advices. We need to know everyone’s choice is different and ability to understand any situation is different. We are the Best judge about our things. I am now fixing things with my Man and just listening to my heart.
Wow! I really love your videos and how your coaching really emotionally changes me! We need to connect in someway or sometime.
Hey young man, hope all is well, been busy taking care of business, haven't seen your videos, what women these days, have no idea what to do for themselves, not understanding their business is no one else's business, if they like it, we love it, what goes on with them, is between them, I know, don't get to smart, keep up the amazing work helping those who have no idea, stay blessed and let's go! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much Stephan, I always watch your videos, blessing to you. 😇👏 love from the U.K.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and commenting. I appreciate that!
Very helpful ❤ thank u
My pleasure ❤️
I can say for me, the switching up the intimacy is cause the guy sucks at whatever sexual thing was done. Honestly if the guy sucks at kissing, it won’t go further. 😂
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I have heard that when a woman and a man are in love the quality of sex doesn’t matter anymore. And there is no comparison. So I honestly don’t know if that is a true statement but people have told me that when you are with the right person it doesn’t matter. I’ve never had sex or been married so I can’t speak to it but I do know that most people agree that when it’s the right person that doesn’t matter so much.
@@Florida_gyrl yes sis, I am seconding this statement. When you love your partner and you're satisfied with them, the sex duration doesn't matter.
@@hojbeadstudioand also when you both love each other you will learn how to please your partner anyway by paying attention. Being sexually satisfied does matter it’s just that i believe most couples adapt after awhile and it becomes good.
@@illegallygorguz I agree 💯
Very helpful video! Thanks Stephan 💙
My pleasure ❤️
Aye look at Stephan getting a new background in 2024🤣🙌🏼
Funny, I saw the same exact video yesterday with the same title. However, I like this one because it gets straight to the point. Thanks
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
If you act nonchalant it's an issue. If you act interested that's an issue too!
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏🏼
“Interested” isn’t the problem. The problem is when someone doesn’t give the other space…constantly calling and texting and expecting to spend way too much time together (this all depends on how far along you are in the dating process and should be discussed, not just assumed) and gets mad when they don’t hear from the other person immediately and wants to know where they are/what they’re doing. People WANT to know if someone is interested, they just don’t want the crazy.
@@someoneyoudontknow7705I fully agree with you, and you broke it down very well.
Exceptional video!!! Totally agree with you
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
Appreciate all your work you put out there 🙏
Would it be possible to make a video more in depth about how to properly speak and hear out Gods message when seeking guidance?
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video 👉 th-cam.com/video/X5GBouqprUo/w-d-xo.html
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thank you soo much also for the suggestion 🙏 have a blessed evening
This was insightful I gonna send this to him because this applies to men too I feel.Amazing video!
Very interesting. Thanks 😊
I was just praying about #4 and you spoke directly to me. These videos and the topics and things you speak about are not just words there prophetic. There have numerous occasions where I pray about a situation and you post a comment or a video confirming the exact thing I just prayed about.
God bless you and may he continue to pour his wisdom upon you.
Going to purchase your books ASAP.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏
You’ve changed my life for the better, thank you ☺️
I don't like the word "hate" since it sooooo harsh. Prefer "don't like"...especially for these types of things being described. These are things that men don't like.
What if I acted non-chalant because this was his second time coming around after rejecting me and I was trying to make sure he was serious this time? I was trying to go slowly to gauge his level of interest, and then two weeks later I find out he was seeing someone else. Did I do the right thing?
On the offering to pay; I went on 2 dates with a man. The first date I split the bill with him even though his share was much more than mine plus covered the tip. I also paid for drinks at the first place because they only took cash. The second date I paid for everything. There was no 3rd date because he didn't offer to pay for anything.
He wanted to move in with me to help me with my new house, BUT he wasn't going to help with bills but expected me to pay him for any repairs he did. WTAH? Nope nope nope.
Ewww!!! So glad you cut that off early!
How long did you get to know him before you went out with him on the first date?
I probably would have discerned after the first date that he wasn't for me but glad you cut it off.
When I offer, I've been told no but would have been willing to pay half or the tip.
@Ms.Cris421 We had talked for over a month almost daily before the 1st date.
@@RothePhoenix Oh okay. Well, glad you saw the signs and got out early. 🤗
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I love watching your videos. I always laugh a long 😅
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Sound advice. Thank you!
My pleasure ❤️
Off topic but that color looks very nice on u Stephan
❤️ 😊 thank you!
Men act nonchalant around me all the time so I guess they aren’t the right ones. The right guy in my opinion will put in more effort and make it crystal clear how he truly feels about me and won’t be ashamed about it
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you 🙏🏼
@8:00mins What if that man is for you, what if there's a good possibility for a relationship but that man is not fond of being pursued by a woman, he'd be turned off? In some cultures such as the Caribbean, India and parts of Continental Africa this would not be a positive move for a woman, she'd be seen as desperate or worse. I don't believe pursuing a man is a woman's role. The traditional approach is more fun & rewarding for both sexes. Even worse is when the man accepts the pursuit only for temporary gratification and tells everyone how it all happened because SHE PURSUED ME.
Most definitely!
100% agree. I’m middle eastern and it’s ALWAYS been men pursuing women but the younger generation of men (my generation) are trying to flip the script then cry when they don’t find “feminine women”. The egg never chases the sperm!!! It’s such a turn off and I’m sure many men secretly feel the women is desperate and pathetic when she chases men even if he initially is excited by her attention.
I’m in something with a guy. I told him I was feeling a certain way the only thing he said I had a good heart and he doesn’t know me enough for anything else.
It means I was right I don't chase cause I've had communication with wemen who actually show interest and reciprocate a nonchalant is a no for me. Man dropping jams👌🏾
Hi Stephan, God Bless. 1st cmt!
Thank you and may God bless you as well ❤️ 🙏🏼
Thank you so much
This has opened my eyes and I'm preparing
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
watching here from Dubai 🇦🇪
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate your feedback!
Agree with everything…I always offer paying…they never acceped it.
🙏🏼 ❤️
God Bless You! Stephan...Let's be mindful; we create all experiences in our lives, including the relationships for our Souls growth. ❤ Peace and Love, Minister Hanifah Hightower, Detroit
The second one hits too close to home. It’s true from female perspective too. When I got introduced to someone through relatives I hate when a guy says everything to his family and there was a time when a guy even complained about me. So when I see signs of this i immediately stop seeing/talking to him.
Very helpful
I absolutely love your videos. The truth is the truth. That's what you give. Jesus bless you. You have been so helpful in my life, especially currently. Thank you.
Glad I could help 🙏
Great background 🫶🫶
I believe in a man being a protector/provider, I'll ask who's paying or tipping. It dives me nuts when men say no thanks I've got it. For me, until I get settled into a relationship I prefer to offer or at least half pay.
Overly Nonchalant
Too many other people involved in the early stages of dating
Acting entitled and never willing to pay
Switching up on him when it comes to intimacy
Asking for money or help with the bill
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
@stephan I met a guy and things were going some what perfect. It was so good that I got scared, I prayed about it and asked God to show me if there were any hidden things he was keeping from me. Any way after a few weeks I texted him and asked him to call me, he then said he wasn't alone at the moment and that he forgot to talk to me about that other person. I got really upset and told him that I'm not about to meddle in people's relationships and he needs to work out whatever issues he had and I can't see him anymore. He didn't take it well because he said we could talk about it and I am making alot of assumptions. I'm wondering if I flew the handle before knowing the whole story, we still communicate but things are not the same.
Sounds like you prayed for God to reveal any hidden things but you didn’t allow Gods work to come to fruition. You jumped the gun before allowing him to present it. He may have wanted to disclosed that he was currently ending whatever was going on with prior to meeting you. When you jumped the gun it could have caused him to doubt his decision. One good sign is he is still in communication with you. Just give him time. Things will turn around.
@@DeNyce-if he was cheating on his previous girl he will cheat on her too. Dont give bad advice.
I don’t talk to females about my situation with a man I usually talk to men about it it is better I was dating someone and it ended and I’m so upset he used to work together and found each other a year later started dating and all of a sudden he saying he had at texting so I brought up that he was never had at it a man is consistent with a women he like and then he finally tells me “maybe I’m not ready” “u seem like u need a lot from me and idk if I have the time for u like u expect” so I literally had to tell him I’m not trying to rush anything I just show a lot of love and have a very big heart but not rushing and I can’t expect a lot where we are and him having 2 jobs being a flight attendant and bartender
I'm happily single forever I could care less about what a man hates my independence is everything.
Men actually like this a lot more than you'd think.
When a woman starts hinting for money, that’s his cue to say , “Don’t worry, stay in Faith. God said HE will supply all of our needs according to HIS riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Let’s pray together for what you need. “ 🙏 ( lol boom, issue resolved)
🤣
😂🤣🤣
I actually agree with this answer. It's true. Anything outside of earning it in a morally correct way is taking a shortcut. Mainstream.
I really like that answer...thanx for sharing
thank you so much🙏 your advices it really helped me a lot. Godbless you 🙏❤️
All gems, from a man’s perspective💎💎💎
I'm a free spirit Spirit lady you know so we have to learn that characterize or categorize or relationships men or women
He was gonna bring up Sprinkle Sorinkle lady 😂
😂😂😂😂I watched her today 🤣🤣🤣
First thing I thought about 😂
I haven't dated anyone for years. I'm afraid I can't be myself after being in a 4 year relationship with a covert narcissist.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Actually you can love.
I relate to this so much.. it’s been a challenge returning to my authentic, soft, vulnerable yet strong & confident self. The balance of it all. I’m so afraid of dating after that type of abuse.. when i learned to survive through strategy & tactics & being hyper vigilant. Exhausting!!
If you can't move on, you have made that covert narcissist YOUR MASTER. They don't deserve that power.
This may sound strange but the last 2 relationships resulted in engagement. Plus, I’m a divorced person. Why can’t we just date? There is pressure.
He's so nonchalant with me.. so annoying.. and we are long distant now.. it drives me crazy he doesn't show me anything more.. but he texts me every day like it's all good 🙈 please tell me what to do with the guy like that.. i already gave him cues about calling me, telling some nice words or him coming to visit me but he's still takes no action.. I feel he is too undecided. Whst can I do to help him a bit more.. ignore him or explain him what I expect?
If I meet someone online I always suggest going dutch for the first meeting, right off the bat, so they don’t feel like they’re just a free meal. It also makes sure that I don’t feel obligated in any way.
❤️ 🙏🏼 thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Can you maybe make a video about how to heal defense mechanism?❤🙏
A seemingly accomplished man a one hour flight away, whom I’ve yet to see in person, has been texting and talking a few times for a year now. He always tells me how seriously interested he is in me. However, I’ve lost count how many times he’s said he would call and did not, as well as text and sending a voice message during holiday season instead of simply talking to me. He says I should call him now. Stephan! We’ve not even met in person yet even though he’s just an hour away. His lack of keeping his words and follow through has diminished my interest, respect, and trust for him.
Red flag ! Run
I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best ❤️ 🙏🏼
@@doloreswalters2050Facts
@@MeetStephanSpeaks is this meant to be politically correct, Stephan? lol! I’m playing with you! 😂
I would start ignoring him and looking for another one. But first, i would communicate what you just said.
Well, the only time I ever brought up bills after living in my home for over 12 years is when I was helping my ex out. That’s when I asked because he needed some help. I wasn’t going to let him just free-load after knowing he had the activity of his limbs, a free laptop to apply for jobs and a reliable car to get to work back and forth. Yes, you’re not going to just lay up, now work and pay. I have a whole Son who was doing that.
Thanks for the informative video Stephan. However, I'm a bit confused about the difference between being nonchalant and not chasing. In my mind, chasing is the one taking the initiative and being nonchalant is the opposite. So, how can you not chase after a man but have your behavior come across as not being nonchalant? There must be a nuance I am missing. 🤔
I could be wrong, but I take Nonchalant in the context that he is mentioning as being more like apathetic or acting like you don't care if you are in a relationship or not. Basically, not caring, or acting like not caring.
Chasing is what is happening right now. Mind manipulation. Cat n mouse games. Tom n Jerry. Cosplaying as grown people but really are demons. Having a nonchalant attitude is more going with the flow in the same direction. Mainstream is by force and its pulling people away from God. Going independent is using your single time wisely and doing the hard stuff without putting people above your purpose. That is seen as masculine, but it's smart. No ego should be attached.
im dating a new guy....@ 8:54, my brother says don't tell any women. My girlfriend says "He's dating for sure...".Im tearing my hair out taking the poll. She's very jealous and bitter I believe. yes, the "negative perception." I try not to call that girl anymore. most women don't want to hear it.
How do we book a 15/30 min one on one session with you? By phone or virtually?