Mark. Might be the single most compelling interview you've done. The use of color, the use of silence and pauses and just letting her talk with little intervention. A riveting story and experience .Absolutely amazing stuff here.
"people who are committing suicide... or, perhaps that's not quite the right way to say that, maybe they're dying /from/ suicide because OF the lack of access to appropriate resources" that was a such a profound correction she decided to put in. It really resonated with me as someone who has tried to take my own life, it's a perspective shift I've never seen anyone make before, it's a powerfully helpful way of broaching the topic of suicide.
I’ve heard people use the expression “he/she died from depression” instead of using the word suicide, and that has also help me a lot to gain a different perspective about my trauma and others, we struggle with a disease and without the proper resources, as she said, is incredible hard to overcome
Agreed! The way this woman walks through all these scenarios and ideas is so leveled headed. It makes my heart happy because it is very obvious that she has gone through a LONGGG road of healing, learning, and understanding. My heart goes out to her.
Mark's style of letting people talk and speak their story in their way uninterrupted is great. Certainly my favorite style. If you let people talk ... they will tell you their truth.
Heritage means you are from something, meaning some aspect of you participates in something. That being the case, how can you do heritage "in your own individual way"? Heritage isn't individual
and also heritage can be anything. Like cultural heritage can be a football pitch. I've studied heritage studies on Master's level so yeah. I have an exam in that.@@Joeonline26
At first she put me on edge because she seems very defensive and you can feel that upset beneath her calm demeanor, but she is so well spoken and even in her anger she keeps it low energy....really amazing person to hear speak. She looks like a punky quirky person but speaks like an ancient wise grandmother. She is crazy insightful. A true sage.
Thing is, most "punky, quirky" people when they get serious become this sort of sage. They have the ability to know when to switch and are as multifaceted as any person.
@@paidovi4717 I imagine it means religious people can be overbearing, like seems to happen in any group that has lots of power over others. All that seems to do is cause people to overcompensate to the other side. Notice how the lady here basically joined the opposition.
What strikes me deeply is Mary's body language and tone of voice. When she's talking about her family and Amish cultures and experiences, she's very soft-spoken and words chosen carefully and gently rocking her body. However, when she started talking about coming out and especially her dress that she made, her light shines. Physically, she sits taller, her face is light and happy, and her tone is full of joy and excitement to show what she made. I was abused as a child, and my mother was abused far worse than me when she was a child. My mother rocks herself that way, too. These things can be very difficult to talk about. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story.
well yeah its pretty easy to tell when shes being dishonest or like picking and choosing what she wants attention for idk her eyes tell the story of someone that doesn't interact with truth very well
@funny2xUS Hey look, I found the psychic who thinks they know what people are thinking. Youre the type of person who says someone who was brutally sexually assaulted probably 'wanted it' because they arent showing the exact body language you think someone in that situation should have. People react to abuse and traumatic experiences in different ways You are obviously a judgemental person whos had a pretty good life and has never known anyone who has suffered severe trauma.
Brilliant. This woman deserves to do a TED talk. She is brilliant and so well spoken. Her story is heartbreaking yet she has that sense of having strength of steel.
A Ted talk is a great idea. It might be a really good idea for someone like her to be on a panel of women who speak against abuse of children in fundamentalist religious communities
That is very well said. Shame and silence are pervasive among almost every culture in the world...where dominance by a few over many who are considered marginal...women and children...face degradation and threat to life everyday.
My Dad was the sheriff in Vernon County Wisconsin when this went down. I just showed my Dad this video and he would love to talk to you, Mary. He is so proud of you and how much you've grown. Reach out if you feel comfortable. He fought so hard for you
@@johnny_sins_himself It is deeply upsetting that you could have so much hatred in your heart for a complete stranger you don't even know. This woman has fought and earned the right to dress and look however she wants, especially as a victim of a culture that fights to keep their women submissive, obedient, and "plain." Your words are ugly and immature. Do better.
You may consider yourself a destroyer of evil, but you're only an enforcer and encourager of evil. Not to understand the overwhelming evil of abusing totally helpless, totally dependent on adults children is a grave moral failure. I hope that you will gather the strength to make the decision to open your mind enough to mature, and allow for wisdom and growth, it will benefit you in the first place.@@johnny_sins_himself
"I made a commitment i was going to live my life out loud and in color" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible, intelligent, strong and brave woman she is. She deserves so much happiness and peace. This is an incredible interview.❤️
Just don't let it lead you to the low hot place. Just because Mary may have experienced injustice doesn't mean jumping from the true center group, the bible / love, over to the left or the right side is the answer.
@@TheVirginGary that is the exact opposite of what the OP was saying. And yes it should lead anyone astray when you realize religion and those stupid books are just tools of men to control the masses. Selling hope to the hopeless.
agreed, that was a refreshing comment.. when i think armish people .. i think of god fearing people / christians / farmers who live off the land .. it just goes to show - we can find creeps anywhere we go in this world .. god bless mary hope all is well & peace onto you all
I grew up in a big abusive Mormon family with tons of sexual abuse, and she makes me feel so seen and understood. I feel her. I see her. Thank you for this video. She is very diplomatic and fair. She is genuine and honest. In all her grief, she hasn’t hardened her heart, she’s softened it.
@@unitedstatesdale Why do you feel the need to comment that? I'm glad you didn't experience abuse, but this just feels like you're trying to undermine the above comment.
The shock l got when l started this video and realized she was in glorious technicolor clothing with pink hair, despite paying homage to her cultural modest way of dressing. Her speech is so articulate and her pausing is so profound, it really allows you to listen to her. She's a marvel.
Can you imagine walking away from the only life you ever knew? Your family,community,church..your entire world! Mary is so brave,refusing to be controlled and abused. It's an honor to listen to this remarkable woman. Being from Pa. amish country myself I promise you none of this was easy for her
I do not see a normal human being with a healthy sense of self. Psychosis? To crochet in rhythm? Yet discussing severe abuse? Total submission of the human self to a controlled dominate abusive environment. She stares down a lot. She disconnects from her own dialogue. She disconnects from her own self. We are watching a severely abused woman.
She can be narrator for audiobooks or something I swear, I could just listen to her voice all day and her crocheting is like ASMR I'm obsessed with this
I love how, the more she speaks, the more animated and comfortable and vibrant she becomes. After the halfway point, she just blossoms! She even sets aside her crocheting for a moment, perhaps not needing its meditative help as she just shares about herself and her explorations and her beautiful new life. My favorite part is when she's so adorably proud of the rules she feels she breaks with her existence, like the "fancy" stitching on the dress she made.
The way she lit up and brightened when talking about her clothing, really warmed my heart. In such a dark, enlightening and sad story, it's good to see that she can still find joy.
@@ljunodHer posture changed as well. She went from the tight submissive posture she demonstrated to a more proud upright position. Brilliant interview.
@@ljunod I noticed this too. She didn't need her coping method, she was on a roll! I was just listening to the video, so it actually shocked me how suddenly strong and upbeat she became.
Terminology is changing, thankfully, b/c "committing" sounds like they did some criminal act - just insensitive & inappropriate. More commonly used now are expressions such as "Died by suicide" or "died from..." or even "died due to mental illness,"
@@norriskpeverything is politically incorrect nowadays. Why is there such an issue with saying committed suicide. Just because we also use the word committed to state a murder had taken place. Does not mean that word has a negative connotation associated with it. If you look up the word committed it actually has a positive definition. “feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.” Committed has a positive connotation too, like I am in a committed relationship. This word is only trying to imply that an individual was 100% dedicated to performing such an activity(suicide/murder). if you want to kill someone or even kill yourself you have to be in a certain mental space for you to carry out those activities. What other word would be best fit to describe that than committed? Devoted? Nahh, that doesn’t sound right. I have no idea why we as human beings are knit picking terminology we have been using for years. Although I don’t agree with some, I really don’t see the problem with saying committed. All it means is that a person has set their mind and is 100% willing to carry out an action, or has already done so. It truly seizes to amaze me that we are this way.
I love when she lights up and talks about her dress and just how rebellious she really is being with all these small details that would completely fly over everyone’s heads and I love that she explains that she reclaimed her heritage by recreating her clothes that fit the morals she was raised in but not in an oppressive way that that society had placed on it.
As a male Mennonite whose grandfather was shunned when he was a barefoot toddler, I was moved to tears by this interview. Shunning does damage generations deep, let me tell you. To fight back against your abusers within an isolated community that shuns you and anyone who associates with you… This woman is a warrior. I am sorry for the abuse and pain that you have survived, Mary. There is a world of loving people out there for you, just filter for values wherever you go and don’t ever stop embracing your heritage. There are ‘cultural antibaptists’ floating around too, it’s just damn hard to find each other.
Hi Mary, good to know you are now safe. Thank you for enlightening englishers. I'm sort of part of Michigan community. Very arbitrary, vague and verbal, even unspoken expectations/ordinance @ district.
I've seen on just the subject of visual art, many newcomers to our are are offended by the liberty in our area to paint and draw. Old order Amish from Byrne Indiana feel that drawing is verboten!!!
Hi there, I am wondering about some Mennonite people, a few families that were in a documentary about how they decided to pack up one day, and leave America to go to some jungle in like Cuba or Venezuela I'm not sure, maybe someplace in Asia where they had bought land, but they had to clear the trees to be able to build it was so undeveloped and isolated. This really blew me away because they looked like the last people who would ever be willing to take on such drastic and difficult all encompassing life changes, let alone they wanted to do it, they were not forced . But to go from what looked to me a very outlined and habitual life of routine to an uncertain surprised filled life of risk & chance. Like they were last people on earth I'd expect to find were I trekking threw that jungle . So is this something Mennonite people all do? Like a way to spread their religion to new places? Or do they usually stick within their established communities all their lives ? And have you heard about them within your community, some sort of update on Mennonite activities outside the states? This was the 1st of two part documentary and I never did get to see the 2nd and it would be so fantastic to learn they are thriving and healthy & to see their progress. I think about these people often and pray they are all well & alive.
I’ve never heard someone speak so softly and so loud at the same time. What a beautiful and intelligent warrior this woman is! One of my favorite interviews so far!! Thank you, Mary! We see you, we hear you, we support you! 🩷
Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!@@sugaredviolets2085
@@jaystat6545E.F. Callas Dear brother al I know îs Gods Laws are unbreakabke, if they wouldve been some sort of way în changing it,Jesues would nit have to come and die,for us to have chance to repentance! And 4th comandnt of The law talks about The real Sabath being Saturday, sunday îs The first day of The week,! Sunday was implemnted as a day for christians to worship,when a pqgqn empwror, Constantin The great ,made a merge betwen his idolatry to The sun,therefore sunday, with christianity for a biger mass to rule over! Lather it was adopted by The Vatican qs own sign of power,(The popes claiming they have godly autority on earth bigest blasphemy)therefore Sunday or Deis Solis în latin became The day most of The xhristins worship! But I belive we truly,live în The Last times of The earth,s-o its very posibile to hear about The sunday decret,being given by Vatican and backed by The USA prety soon! The Vatican îs The first beast risen from sees(those are nations,this first beast with 7 heads and 10 horns one whom had a wound but healed îs Vatican and papacy,The wounded horn,was when Napoleons general took The pope and Abolished Catolic rulment în 1798,but as we can obviously see healed,and grows goong to al nations,trying to form The New world order,and The second beast wich rose from earth with 2 horns of a lamb,being USA,as USA îs The only superpower who got big,without without conquer, was byilt by mostly protestants în less thqn 150 years,and has at its constituțional base, The capitalitic right of free speech, and free worship of anykind! That will no longer be The case ,this second beast will give all its autority to The first beast, thqt means,it will fully back any law or decret given by Vatican! It May seem incredible or unreal but The Bible doesnt lie! The claim under they will give The inquisition decret for al those who dont rest on Sunday îs that, its because of them thqt ql wars,famens and climate change,come upon The earth! The Bible states thqt right before Jesuse second coming,Satn himself will come and portray as Hrist,this decive will be powerfull, as it wil be folowed by mqny miraculos and healings,werever it will apear,! But The Bible doesnt live us without warning to this either;Bible clearly states that when Jesus comes "all eyes will see him" Mathew 24:26,27 / 2Tesalonicens2:3,4 8,9,10 ! So Jesuse second coming wil be seen worldwide, wile Satns forge only here and there! God bless you qnd youre loved ones!
I could listen to Mary speak for hours. I hung on to every word she said. I learned so much from her in this short interview. Thank you Mary for having the courage to speak on deep and personal issues that affected you. This was an amazing conversation to listen to
1) I love how colorful her dress and hair are. 2) You can feel how much pain this woman carries. I'm glad she made it through it, and I hope she finds peace and happiness.
Happiness and sadness come and go. I know she will be healing her entire life, but she seems content. And contentment after so much abuse, is a huge burden off the shoulders, and what some people never find because they're always chasing happines.
At first I was like what the hell when I saw her appearence. But after watching her interview, and hearing her explanation for her garments, it completely changed my opinion on it and now I really like her dress sense, now that I understand it. I kinda feel bad about my initial negativity tbh
This woman is incredible. Her sense of confidence in every single word she spoke and the power in every single subtle intonation. Her community lost a beautiful soul but we the rest of the world gained one.
@@TimTrOn3000she doesn’t always dress like that. Cults to conciousness did an interview with her and she wore regular clothing then. She made this dress this way for a reason
There is a saying, “Can you imagine the violence it took to become this gentle?” The aftermath of reporting of the abuse to the civil authorities was a baptism of fire for Mary. A weaker person would have been crushed by the shunning and the loss of friendship and family. Mary is an inspiration.
*Woman* She is and adult. Adult female humans aren't children. We aren't *girls*. I'm not coming for you - I just want this subtle and pervasive undercutting of the Feminine to be called out. I want us adult women to collectively no longer tolerate being referred to as children.
@@dhvinebeauty the ex Amish woman has Girl power. That girl doesn't read ro me as a diminishing "girl" it is acknowledgement that she didn't get to have a proper girlhood.
Some of my father's rules were no make up or perfume, and absolutely no noise afyer 7 pm. So these days I do myself up as much as I like, I have piercings and tattoos, I love perfume, and I blast music all evening long. Defiance of the abusers' rules, no matter what they were, is one of the singular joys of freedom. The abuser enjoys exacting complete control, instills deep shame in you for the slightest "mistake", and if you don't put insane levels of value and conformity into those rules, the abuser sniffs out your "rebellion" and will grind you into pulp gleefully. If you don't obey and thank them for stealing your autonomy, there is a very good chance you will not make it out alive. I hope the people that hurt her see her now and it eats them up because they have no power over her anymore. Now it's them, sitting small, and they hate that.
@AmmoGus1 for someone from that kind of community, it's tantamount to running naked down the street. She was raised to avoid attracting any kind of attention to herself and pink hair is shouting look at me.
I know, that was almost bizarre (and I mean that in the least negative or judgemental way possible)! I was not expecting how strong her change in demeanor was lol
There are a ton of people who think they can do that, but you can't erase your ethnicity. DNA showed we are heavily Hutterite/Haban on one side. We still don't know the details. We knew the family spoke both German and Czech and had been associated with the aristocracy in Germanic Europe before the failed Germanic revolutions of around 1848. Hutterite religion had been outlawed, but maybe they were still marrying among themselves as "ex"/crypto-hutterites, I I don't know. They had been sought as tutors and administrators by the ruling families because in Europe they were highly educated (one of the founders of Hutterites was a teacher, Lehrer). All across the areas they had lived in Europe the govts and govt-approved churches had demanded they stop "being" Hutterite, and on pain of death, exile, losing all their property, etc they "reconverted" however nothing can erase the DNA. In the US and Canada people decide they're not going to "be" Anabaptist anymore, but you can't erase your DNA. It's more than just a religion, it's an ethnicity even if, like Mary said, you were an atheist, with all the aspects that go into that including gene pool, dialect, and every other facet all the way down to how you think etc. The last thing you can't erase is your genes, but maybe also some things at the farthest down level of the Cultural Iceberg (Google that).
@@graciemaye6381 how does a DNA test show hutterite/haban ancestry? And is your family in the USA or Canada? I am full Hutterite born and raised, I speak the language and live the culture. I agree with you it is a part of your heritage that no matter where you go or what happens it is still a part of you as a human.
OMG. No idle hands here. Precise, thoughtful, analytical, intense, quiet. Reminds me so much of my paternal grandmother who, along with her family, was shunned by her Mennonite Community because my great grandmother attended the funeral of a Roman Catholic friend. (I'm 84 and my grandmother was born in 1878). Family lived in Western New York. Gram always had her bonnet and plain clothes and actually looked very much like Mary. The repercussions of that shunning still reverberate in my extended family with behavioral and mental health issues. Mary is a brilliant and courageous woman.
Being subdued or quiet does not mean you do not hold EXTREMELY valuable insight - Mary, thank you for sharing your story and showing such strength. You’re inspirational.
This was fantastic. Her entire demenor changed when she said, "I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in color." She became animated and engaging. I felt included in conversation with her. How powerful!
People who are desperate to affect an appearance of excessive colour and extravagance generally betray a feeling of insecurity, emptiness and rottenness on the inside.
I followed this story , I’m from Indiana and my wife and I taxi the Amish and believe me you can have an Amish girl from a family in a city 200 miles away that have never met one another and there kids look identical ! This lady went thru hell and back and all over again and these people knew the truth and knew that her own brothers were as guilty as sin but thru the court proceedings they actually bused in hundreds of Amish to back the guilty brothers . Filled the entire court room ! The judge felt so bad for her that he all but ripped the family , brothers, and people in the court room about how they backed those boys or men and had zero support for her ! Buss loads ! Sick that’s all I can say just sick . You have our support and keep you positive attitude stand strong and she isn’t letting them get her down ! And that’s way she didn’t elaborate on what they did to her ! Good job !
I have been to Amish "parties" where the males and females didn't even mingle together. I've seen the young Amish men tie the horses outside, and then go into the bar to buy eight-cases of Budweiser each. I've listened to my brother's apartment cleaner, Sarah, as she spoke of her Amish life, and how she will be an "old maid" forever, because she'd already had sex, and no boy would ever want her as a wife. Northern Indiana was a terrible place to be as a "regular" American citizen. The thought of being Amish there is repulsive to me. Them busing in the Pennsylvania Amish for breeding purposes was/is disgusting to me. I'll never forget Sarah's despair. She had no hope of a future. I wonder if she's still alive.
@@gforceforeverunfortunately, women who aren't valued in cults are often pressured to marry bad men, becauee the community wants to punish her while still upholding their values
@@christianandjesse7370, perhaps, but each Amish "cult" is different. Sarah lived with her mother, so she at least wouldn't be cast out totally. She used to beg me to let her wear my clothing (English clothes, as she would say), and to use my makeup. She wanted desperately to be accepted, to have fun, and to find a guy willing to look her way. Truly, it was a very saddening and sobering thought that my entire existence could have been hinging upon males' perceptions of me, if I had been born into that culture. If I could find Sarah and rescue her from it, I would. Her mind wasn't sharp, so I'm sure she's still cleaning homes with bleach and ammonia together. I found her passed out in the bathroom twice from the fumes.
It's extremely rare that an Amish person would even allow themselves to be photographed , let alone to be video taped. But it seems to me that she's trying to do right by standing against sexual abusers. I definitely stand behind her!
Not really. Well, although Mennonite, I’ve seen them with cameras, at Cedar Point, buying a box of butter from Aldi (a bad churning day?), and even at MicroCenter in Columbus, Ohio…modernity has encroached their lives and it is more and more difficult for them, especially business owners, not to use technology. We have a lot of different orders in central Ohio.
I'm in Alabama, So I've never anything like that here. Although, there is an Amish cabinet shop near by, but they're non practiceing... with the exception of their craftsmanship.@@GenXrCist669
One of the many myths that the English have about the Amish. Living around and working with them in northeastern Indiana completely blew away all the illusions I had of them. Most of the younger generations have social media, cell phones, bluetooth headphones, LED lights on their buggies, stereo systems, etc. It varies from group to group but the more you learn about each the more you'll be surprised at the "wordly" things they now embrace.
She was speaking on stereotypes of the amish community in the very beginning. This is exactly what she was talking about. Each community/settlement is different.
I've never seen an interview where the one interviewed had so much space to think and process. She wasn't bombarded with questions but gently led. Fasinating.
You might also like Mormon Stories Podcast. It's different, (some interruptions), but they are breathtakingly committed to listening to interviewees' whole story.
I love that Mary is crocheting while talking about her life. Years ago, my therapist encouraged me to bring my quilting to sessions so I had something to do with my hands and eyes while we talked. The things that were so hard spilled out while doing my handwork.
@debmule I always have something in my hands I’m “working on” with my therapist too. I like that she understands and doesn’t mind because it makes me more comfortable.
My therapist when I was living somewhere else as a teen had colouring pages, both adult and children, ranging in difficulty with supplies from kids crayons to pencil, to water colour paints. And I LOVED doing those while talking. Made the sessions themselves less traumatic.
I loved it when she corrected herself by saying people are dying from suicide.....so poignant and well put. I loved this interview. And I also loved how she made her dress for herself. Good for you my dear.
This amazing woman is profoundly intelligent. The grace of her words, the precision of her speech, and the clarity in which she communicates is something to behold.
A community shunning victims of sexual assault and spending its time measuring the wrist cuff on women's dresses needs to readjust its priorities desperately. Thank you Mary! 💜
In Islam, they STONE women, who have been raped. Because she is then guilty of infidelity, even though, SHE was assaulted!! Sharia (Islamic law) demands, that 4 witnesses are found. Those can be bought... This happens in Iran, Somalia, and Nigeria!
And so do those who collectively judge them. This woman despite all she's gone through was, nonetheless, consistently against collectively judging an entire community.
It's also important to grasp that whether one is Amish on one end of the scale or 'woke,' on the other, it is possible to be overly-rigid and insistent on certain things, and to have misplaced priorities. Human nature is human nature, no matter what one's beliefs are.
Sending 12 men sends a clear message… what we’re dealing with here is an ear drum busting whistle blower who’s not a-scared of religious gang thugs, nor the devil before daylight . Much gratitude for the big bravery! CROTHET ON, SISTER!! You rock.
@@knucklehead99-z1w Please explain how she’s narcissistic? By not tolerating abuse? By embracing her autonomy? By using her own significant god-given brain to choose how she wishes to live her own precious life? To create a life for herself that celebrates who she is and allows her to bring her best self to the world?
I myself grew up Amish in Northern Indiana. Married Amish. After our 5th child was born we had good reasons to leave the Amish way of life and their interpretations of the Word of God. Just want to say my heart goes out to Mary. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you the hug of a sister and fellow human being. Although by appearance.. no one would be able to tell that I had been Amish for 32 years … the feeling of having been “Amish” is still very much on the inside. Mary, the past does not define who YOU really are. You have value and you are loved!!
My grandparents were Pennsylvania Dutch and lived in Goshen, Indiana. Mary is a beautiful soul. Thank you for letting her speak - it was a profound interview.
She could write a best-selling autobiography, surely. She's eloquent, interesting in appearance and unique in her history which gives insight to a hidden part of America. I hope she considers it.
Absolutely breathtaking. She speaks so eloquently, and expresses herself so honestly. But her calm demeanor, the slow thoughtful way she speaks… this woman is a warrior. Thank you both for this episode. It really touched my heart. God’s blessings to you both.
You didn’t have to share with us your story. You didn’t owe us or anyone anything, but you gave yourself to us, opened up such a raw and painful wound, and used your story to help educate us and inspire hope. I want to be strong like you and speak even when it’s hard. Even when it hurts to relive everything.
@27:27 Her demeanor changes. When talking about how she changed how she looks and what it means to her to define her freedom.... she drops her crochet and beams with a big smile... absolutely HEART WARMING!! "Own and know thyself." Is all it says to me. It made me smile to watch her drop her crochet and with pride, explain why she dresses the way she does. Good for you!
@@takyrica The conditions and environment caused the person to die from suicide. Using the word commit implies that suicide should be viewed as a crime than rather a sickness that can be prevented.
I knew if I looked in the comments I would find others who enjoyed her calm, patient, and thoughtful words as much as I do. I'm sad that she experienced what she did. I'm so grateful that she had the strength to tell the truth and share her story.
I just researched this case and wow… she endured horrific abuse at every turn. I’m so sorry, Mary. I am so glad you found the strength to speak out. You amaze me.
that black and white headshot 33:59, those eyes... there's a profound sadness in those eyes and even as she explained the horrors forced upon her I can't even fathom a single iota of the strength she has to continue living when your LITERAL ENTIRE world conspires against you in malice. I truly do wish the best for her
She’s cried a lifetime of tears…..until she just stops. You recognize that they won’t change anything. SHE had to get up and CHANGE her circumstances…..and she did! 👏👏👏👏👏
She was amazing, but watching her sadness was almost overwhelming. She came alive though, when she talked about herself. Thank you, Mark for presenting one of the most unique interviews you have done. It will open a lot of eyes.
Watch some of her other interviews and her own videos, she seems like a sort of different person. You’ll see another side of her. She’s quite interesting. Just search Mary Byler Amish
Of course! It’s truly wrong to say “just leave”. Mary’s reaction to “are you in touch with your family” spoke volumes. Her pained face, her silence, her thoughtful answer. It’s not like these are just casual acquaintances she could up and ditch on a whim when things went sideways. It’s complicated.
What a great interview. The pauses add so much. She is so smart, so thoughtful, so introspective. I loved every word she spoke. Her entire demeanor changed when discussing her dress. It was beautiful.
Wonderful interview. She’s not angry at the world. She’s angry at the people who deserve her anger for the despicable things that were allowed in what could have been a nurturing environment.
@@EBDeveloperThis isn't about politics. Amazing how people like you think ANYTHING not right wing is somehow "less than". You're part of the problem in this country right now by thinking this way. And learn to capitalize at the beginning of sentences since you're so smart.
@@nicolekb12 She didn't just hold anger, she's expressing it. Jesus expressed his anger over violation of the temple. Some boundaries are basic and need to be defended with controlled appropriate anger.
Yo, did y'all notice how she put the crochet down and lit up when talking about her outfit. From head to toe. And how she put her spin on it. Huge respect for her, as she values and appreciates her culture. 👏🏼
I love her. Absolutely respect her. I'm a therapist and for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to open a private practice that assists Amish/Anabaptist youth and adolescents. More of her please!
@@rachelklenk4850Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!
@@rachelklenk4850 I actually was in communication in 2010-ish with the author Saloma Furlong who is also ex-Amish and experienced abuse within her Amish community in Ohio. She has worked with Dr. Donald Kraybill who has done extensive work with the Amish communities. I wanted to open a practice that assists youths and adolescents in these communities that have suffered abuse and have decided to leave. I suggest looking up Saloma and Dr. Kraybill and getting more information.
She could teach so many girls and women from different walks of life because so many have the same experiences but different stories. Religious rule by men alone has very serious effects upon women.
Look at the irish "mother and child" homes leaded by catholic NUNS and just Nuns even the higher ranks and the administration was...guess what.....all Nuns....so woman who diminished "bastard" children, neglecting them, shaming the mothers for having children outside the wedlock....should i continue?? Just watch what horrific things WOMAN in the catholic church did to mothers and their children.
Mary I send you comfort, strength, and understanding. I left the fundamentalist cult that I was raised in when I was 23 and have been shunned for the last 37 years. I experienced extreme physical, sexual, and mental/emotional abuse. From the outside, we looked like the "perfect family". Blessings on your path, may you continue to heal and may you find unconditional love.
This woman is a gem. her glowing demeanor about her dress was so lovely. This may be a captain obvious comment, but I could tell the stitching was handsewn. Imagine her meticulously piecing together her attire, meditating on the choices she was making for *herself* in spite of all of the hardship and rejection people have put on her shoulders. Her quiet strength is so inspiring. Much love from WV.
Agree. There's only so many tweaked out, codependent, self-indulgent addicts one can listen to before it gets tedious. More people with varied and *truly* untold stories.
Clearly very cathartic for her. I cannot relate to her experiences except in a very tiny way. I've seen hypocrisy in church, but nothing like that. She is amazingly strong.
That sigh signals there's more to tell. We'll likely be hearing from Mary as she goes forward. It appears she still does subscribe to Amish customs. Her flat manner of speaking is how people from oppressed environs speak.
Mary, I haven't spoken to my mother in 10 years. She's in her 80's now, and I have congestive heart failure. She has never met her only blood grandson. I'm so sorry this happened to you too...but having said that - we are powerful people. Escaping a high-control religious group requires a certain mettle and strength that not just anyone possess. You have made my heart glad today...and I absolutely adore your dress. Adapting WHO you are to where you come from, but not being smothered or oppressed by it is a new concept to me, and you have made me start thinking this afternoon.
Having been evolved in 3 different cult communities, I send out a cheer for those persons who saw through the oppressive control and found the autonomy of living as whole individuals. I've been able to maintain a close connection with, not the god of religious dogma, but the God who fiercely loves me, who rejoices in His daughter.
Exactly my feelings as well. Sitting here, trying to come up with the right words to express what you have said. There is just so many! She is very intelligent and so well spoken, It’s crazy to think English is her second language.
The sigh she let out at the end of this interview, I felt that. It felt so therapeutic for her to finally let it all out on a public platform to bring awareness of the abuse that goes on in that community. She has been through so much and revealing her experiences lifted so much weight off her shoulders. Abusers are everywhere, no matter what race, gender or religion. My heart goes out to her and her healing.
Thank you for that clarification!!! So many people think that other religions are cults.A cult is different one must study other religions. To be able to differentiate.
@@brwynnpretty much any religious text or doctrine can be twisted and perverted as a means to achieve personal gain or to manipulate others, often to commit acts of violence. The term “cult” just basically means “my religion is bigger and more important than yours”. Historically, more lives have been taken in the name of the major faiths than any small sects of people could ever begin to claim. It just makes better headlines when a handful of people with less orthodox views do something terrible.
Mary, you should do voice-overs, audiobooks. Amazing delivery of your own difficult story. So genuine and honest, so captivating. Thank you for sharing. Your story is powerful and will touch and inspire many that can relate to trauma.
This was an incredible interview. Mary is so warm and has such a kindness about her. I'm proud of her bravery, and I wish her all the best in this world.
Love the way she talks. So calming, so clear. I could listen to her for hours. I really love the clear english she speaks and she seems such a reflecting and wise person. Greetings from germany.
Well said Mary well said. As I survior myself of sexual abuse, I too was shunned in a Catholic family. The abuser played the martyr and denied any wrong doing. My biological family rallied behind the abuser and continued to victimize me emotionally year after year. Sadly this is the story of many victims and why they stay silent. I am proud of you Mary for continuing your healing path and living your truth.
I have catholic family members who are still in denial of abuse in the church. I’m so sorry your biological family continues to hurt you in that way. Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you nothing but strength and happiness
The experience of loosing your whole family & extended family through shunning is hard for many to understand. The hurt & pain & disbelief when you feel that you are not ‘worth’ being listened to or supported on top of the aftermath of abuse & loosing everything you’ve ever known is huge, unfathomable to most. Getting on with living & loving is a long road. Strength to all of us who walk this path ❤
Because she is a woman. All women are punished for asking for their equal rights, freedoms, safety throughout the world. Mary is a voice for millions of women.
@@edvh88 Why is most women's s*xual fantasy r*pe? The way you write "history" has nothing to do with males, btw. It's all in your head - like that fantasy. You know how I know? I'm male. And most of us wouldn't ever r*pe a woman, because we had good mothers. Does it matter though? Of course not. You'd never mention the skincolor of the perp, because you are "tolerant" enough to be r*ped by someone 2 shades darker than you. What? Crime stats suddenly disappear in your "grey vision"?
This is such an eye opening and RIVETING interview! What an incredibly brave, intelligent and thoughtful woman to have come out of that travesty! You are making a real difference in speaking out...BRAVO!!
@@jonnyhunggdv/sa advocate is someone that helps domestic violence and/or sex abuse victims basically, it’s not an Amish role. They deal with a lot of Amish people though
This was one of the most compelling interviews yet. The cadence of her speech reflects incredible strength, while simultaneously reflecting unimaginable pain. Seeing her crocheting and reliving those painful memories brought an indescribable feeling. Surprisingly soothing yet also inspiring and sorrowful.
Ooooooohhhhh and I just watched more of it and she pronounced Lancaster wrong. She pronounced it like anybody from outside of PA would pronounce it, "Lan-caster" yet she claims to be PA Amish, which means she would pronounce it the other way "Lancister". BUSTED!!! 😆
The way she speaks reminds me of my grandmother, whom I look up to so, so, so much. Now that I'm older, I know that she went through so much, but she has such a calm, collected presence. Especially the way Mary speaks, her cadence, and the way that she is able to look at different perspectives; it reflects such strength and wisdom to have processed everything she experienced. This was an amazing interview, and I wish Mary well. :)
She is so well spoken.. I’m captivated by every word she has to say. She’s truly got so much depth to her, and this was truly a very unexpected but impactful interview. Thankyou.
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This is my friend Mary and I’m so very proud of her!!! I’m so glad she is speaking and educating us.
Please tell Mary how much I appreciated her voice and story. Love and Light to her.
Tell mary she is SO brave, i am sitting in denmark, listening to her story, and learning so much🙏
She is amazing 💖💖🌸🌼 A true inspiration 🙌 Sending my solidarity and gratitude to her from NYC ✨✨✨✨
How lovely it must be to have this beautiful soul Mary for a friend.
This lady's strength and courage is awe inspiring!
That dress is the most incredible act of rebellion and joy I have ever seen. Truly inspiring.
💯 I teared up as she described her dress. Such freedom in making this dress!!
Her dress is gorgeous.
And her hair!
The grin she had when explaining the stitching. So much purpose put into every detail. Love it.
Yes! I agree, inspiring.
Mark. Might be the single most compelling interview you've done. The use of color, the use of silence and pauses and just letting her talk with little intervention. A riveting story and experience .Absolutely amazing stuff here.
A work of art.
💯❗
Bravo Beautifully Done👏🏿
Absolutely agreed. Strikingly eloquent, in it's brevity.
one of the tops
Her thought process is so deep, measured, and solid. She's amazing.
It’s breathing art
Yes, I agree.
To me it seems to be an inexhaustible ocean of pain and resentment
A life without media.
"people who are committing suicide... or, perhaps that's not quite the right way to say that, maybe they're dying /from/ suicide because OF the lack of access to appropriate resources" that was a such a profound correction she decided to put in. It really resonated with me as someone who has tried to take my own life, it's a perspective shift I've never seen anyone make before, it's a powerfully helpful way of broaching the topic of suicide.
Yes!!
Deeply insightful.
Thank you for this comment
I’ve heard people use the expression “he/she died from depression” instead of using the word suicide, and that has also help me a lot to gain a different perspective about my trauma and others, we struggle with a disease and without the proper resources, as she said, is incredible hard to overcome
Agreed!
The way this woman walks through all these scenarios and ideas is so leveled headed. It makes my heart happy because it is very obvious that she has gone through a LONGGG road of healing, learning, and understanding. My heart goes out to her.
Thank you Mark for allowing her silences and not immediately jumping in with questions. You gave her the space and time she needed. ❤
I agree 💯
An intelligent, experienced, compassionate interviewer. ❤
Mark did an excellent job of allowing her to express herself and tell her story.
Mark's style of letting people talk and speak their story in their way uninterrupted is great. Certainly my favorite style. If you let people talk ... they will tell you their truth.
This is the way to interview a person on a serious subject like this.
Ask a few questions, let them answer in their own words and time.
She's very calm when she speaks. She's beautiful and I love her dress. It was good listening to her story. Very informative.
It is SO COOL that she literally reclaimed her heritage in her own individual way. She is so inspiring.
Yes. This. ☝️💯🎯👍
Mary Byler rocks.
I just hope, that she will get a job and a place to live.
Heritage means you are from something, meaning some aspect of you participates in something. That being the case, how can you do heritage "in your own individual way"? Heritage isn't individual
ok, *interpret their heritage. happy? Lol how unnecessary comment.@@Joeonline26
and also heritage can be anything. Like cultural heritage can be a football pitch. I've studied heritage studies on Master's level so yeah. I have an exam in that.@@Joeonline26
At first she put me on edge because she seems very defensive and you can feel that upset beneath her calm demeanor, but she is so well spoken and even in her anger she keeps it low energy....really amazing person to hear speak. She looks like a punky quirky person but speaks like an ancient wise grandmother. She is crazy insightful. A true sage.
Thing is, most "punky, quirky" people when they get serious become this sort of sage. They have the ability to know when to switch and are as multifaceted as any person.
Omgggg this is my ex coworker she is such a BEAUTIFUL PERSON I AM SO PROUD OF U MARY❤️❤️
Mary you're God belief?
You.
Stop being lazy.
@@OutWestRedDirt you stop 🛑 being a demon
@@OutWestRedDirtdamn, what a sad and lonely life if that's what you thought of to this beautiful message about someone she knew.
@@OutWestRedDirtif you love the amish so much get off the internet and go live with them
“Religious language around crimes affects how we talk about it.” I really appreciate that sentiment. It was healing.
The whitewashing is real.
🙏 💗
This is why I detest the word “r*pey”. As in, “He’s kinda “ra*ey”.
What does that mean
@@paidovi4717 I imagine it means religious people can be overbearing, like seems to happen in any group that has lots of power over others. All that seems to do is cause people to overcompensate to the other side. Notice how the lady here basically joined the opposition.
What strikes me deeply is Mary's body language and tone of voice. When she's talking about her family and Amish cultures and experiences, she's very soft-spoken and words chosen carefully and gently rocking her body. However, when she started talking about coming out and especially her dress that she made, her light shines. Physically, she sits taller, her face is light and happy, and her tone is full of joy and excitement to show what she made. I was abused as a child, and my mother was abused far worse than me when she was a child. My mother rocks herself that way, too. These things can be very difficult to talk about. Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story.
Sending love to you and your mother.
May you both find healing and peace.
Lots of strength and love, shine your light ❤
Man, at 27:00 she caught another gear, lol.
well yeah its pretty easy to tell when shes being dishonest or like picking and choosing what she wants attention for idk her eyes tell the story of someone that doesn't interact with truth very well
@funny2xUS
Hey look, I found the psychic who thinks they know what people are thinking.
Youre the type of person who says someone who was brutally sexually assaulted probably 'wanted it' because they arent showing the exact body language you think someone in that situation should have.
People react to abuse and traumatic experiences in different ways
You are obviously a judgemental person whos had a pretty good life and has never known anyone who has suffered severe trauma.
Brilliant. This woman deserves to do a TED talk. She is brilliant and so well spoken. Her story is heartbreaking yet she has that sense of having strength of steel.
A Ted talk is a great idea. It might be a really good idea for someone like her to be on a panel of women who speak against abuse of children in fundamentalist religious communities
@@quinntara20❤❤
I was thinking the same thing!
Ted? Feed my curiosity...¿🫢@@sharonkuh3422
I think this was her TED talk. You can tell from the end it took all she had. I don't know if she could get on a big stage.
“You want to keep knitting” “It’s CROCHET”
Every crocheter just fist bumped the air 😁
Haha agree
lol yes 😂😂😂 I was like markkkk noooo
Yeeeesssss
Knitters as well❤
"Knittas stick together" 😂
I love the look she gave him too. I love her. Please bring her back for an update.
WOW! She is powerful. Her story is NOT an Amish story; it is a human story, and a woman's story, period.
Well said, even tho it's the Amish who need to be held accountable
That is very well said. Shame and silence are pervasive among almost every culture in the world...where dominance by a few over many who are considered marginal...women and children...face degradation and threat to life everyday.
Amen ❤🎉
What do you mean by “woman’s story”?
Amen
My Dad was the sheriff in Vernon County Wisconsin when this went down. I just showed my Dad this video and he would love to talk to you, Mary. He is so proud of you and how much you've grown. Reach out if you feel comfortable. He fought so hard for you
And for what? Some kind of space lesbian?
@@johnny_sins_himself It is deeply upsetting that you could have so much hatred in your heart for a complete stranger you don't even know. This woman has fought and earned the right to dress and look however she wants, especially as a victim of a culture that fights to keep their women submissive, obedient, and "plain." Your words are ugly and immature. Do better.
You may consider yourself a destroyer of evil, but you're only an enforcer and encourager of evil. Not to understand the overwhelming evil of abusing totally helpless, totally dependent on adults children is a grave moral failure. I hope that you will gather the strength to make the decision to open your mind enough to mature, and allow for wisdom and growth, it will benefit you in the first place.@@johnny_sins_himself
@@johnny_sins_himselfyea, only thing worth than child sexual abuse is dressing unusual or being gay…ya loon
@@anonymous18144bravo!
It’s really soothing to listen to her speak while she’s crocheting. It’s her way to self soothe and I’m glad she’s found tools to give her peace.
"I made a commitment i was going to live my life out loud and in color" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible, intelligent, strong and brave woman she is. She deserves so much happiness and peace. This is an incredible interview.❤️
Crocheting really is living whacky 🤪🤣
Agreed, Exactly my thoughts on this interview. Incredible woman.
The bonnet gets to me. 😢
The way she lit up though! So beautifully!❤
Why? Why is it brave to live loud and in color and not just a choice among many choices?
‘I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in colour!’ This beautiful person has inspired me today. Thank you, Mary.
Just don't let it lead you to the low hot place. Just because Mary may have experienced injustice doesn't mean jumping from the true center group, the bible / love, over to the left or the right side is the answer.
@@TheVirginGary that is the exact opposite of what the OP was saying. And yes it should lead anyone astray when you realize religion and those stupid books are just tools of men to control the masses. Selling hope to the hopeless.
This was also the exact moment in the video when I felt the need to pause and comment. Mary is an unbelievably strong and inspiring person.
@@blueberreez?
agreed, that was a refreshing comment.. when i think armish people .. i think of god fearing people / christians / farmers who live off the land .. it just goes to show - we can find creeps anywhere we go in this world .. god bless mary hope all is well & peace onto you all
Shes a perfect example of how soft spoken people can have the loudest voices ❤ i love her
I'm amazed at this lady's well spoken composure while talking about such incredibly painful things. That is hard earned grace.
I grew up in a big abusive Mormon family with tons of sexual abuse, and she makes me feel so seen and understood. I feel her. I see her. Thank you for this video. She is very diplomatic and fair. She is genuine and honest. In all her grief, she hasn’t hardened her heart, she’s softened it.
Why is abuse in Mormonism so common?
I grew up in a wonderful Mormon household.
Zero abuse.
two households. @@unitedstatesdale
@@unitedstatesdale Why do you feel the need to comment that? I'm glad you didn't experience abuse, but this just feels like you're trying to undermine the above comment.
I mean, it's hard not to see her. She's got the camera focus throughout the entire interview.
The shock l got when l started this video and realized she was in glorious technicolor clothing with pink hair, despite paying homage to her cultural modest way of dressing. Her speech is so articulate and her pausing is so profound, it really allows you to listen to her. She's a marvel.
Well said
Totally agree
Absolutely ❤
I originally was just listening through headphones…then I saw her dress. 😊
I’m so in awe by the way she puts her words together.👏 very interesting story.
Mary is one strong woman. Her meditative crocheting, her gentle speech, her rising above a repressive culture. She is courageous.
Can you imagine walking away from the only life you ever knew? Your family,community,church..your entire world! Mary is so brave,refusing to be controlled and abused. It's an honor to listen to this remarkable woman. Being from Pa. amish country myself I promise you none of this was easy for her
I do not see a normal human being with a healthy sense of self. Psychosis? To crochet in rhythm? Yet discussing severe abuse? Total submission of the human self to a controlled dominate abusive environment. She stares down a lot. She disconnects from her own dialogue. She disconnects from her own self. We are watching a severely abused woman.
She can be narrator for audiobooks or something I swear, I could just listen to her voice all day and her crocheting is like ASMR I'm obsessed with this
@@FoxyMaroonyes she is ill she needs help
@@FoxyMaroonshe functions fine, she has a Facebook where she posts regularly and she’s very active and intelligent
I love how, the more she speaks, the more animated and comfortable and vibrant she becomes. After the halfway point, she just blossoms! She even sets aside her crocheting for a moment, perhaps not needing its meditative help as she just shares about herself and her explorations and her beautiful new life. My favorite part is when she's so adorably proud of the rules she feels she breaks with her existence, like the "fancy" stitching on the dress she made.
The way she lit up and brightened when talking about her clothing, really warmed my heart. In such a dark, enlightening and sad story, it's good to see that she can still find joy.
She pretty much stopped her crochet from that point forward. Her demeanor completely changed!
I was about to comment that, it was a truly special moment in this super interesting interview. My fav so far.
@@HippieMotMot, yes 💯 agree. A very eye and heart opening interview to say the least. I wish her well in life.
@@ljunodHer posture changed as well. She went from the tight submissive posture she demonstrated to a more proud upright position. Brilliant interview.
@@ljunod I noticed this too. She didn't need her coping method, she was on a roll!
I was just listening to the video, so it actually shocked me how suddenly strong and upbeat she became.
Only the best interviewers can refrain from interrupting. Well done!
only the best interveiwers can get someone in to such a flow that they don't stop talking for half an hour!
Agree, that space between- the silence- is so incredibly powerful. What a remarkable, resilient person
Excellent interviewing.
Club shay shay
He never says anything!
"commiting.... I mean dying FROM suicide" ive NEVER heard anyone put it that way, such compassion! 😢
This was a well rehearsed monolog
@@yonikki?? what makes you think that
@@yonikkii think ur right
Terminology is changing, thankfully, b/c "committing" sounds like they did some criminal act - just insensitive & inappropriate. More commonly used now are expressions such as "Died by suicide" or "died from..." or even "died due to mental illness,"
@@norriskpeverything is politically incorrect nowadays. Why is there such an issue with saying committed suicide. Just because we also use the word committed to state a murder had taken place. Does not mean that word has a negative connotation associated with it. If you look up the word committed it actually has a positive definition. “feeling dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; wholeheartedly dedicated.” Committed has a positive connotation too, like I am in a committed relationship. This word is only trying to imply that an individual was 100% dedicated to performing such an activity(suicide/murder). if you want to kill someone or even kill yourself you have to be in a certain mental space for you to carry out those activities. What other word would be best fit to describe that than committed? Devoted? Nahh, that doesn’t sound right. I have no idea why we as human beings are knit picking terminology we have been using for years. Although I don’t agree with some, I really don’t see the problem with saying committed. All it means is that a person has set their mind and is 100% willing to carry out an action, or has already done so. It truly seizes to amaze me that we are this way.
I love when she lights up and talks about her dress and just how rebellious she really is being with all these small details that would completely fly over everyone’s heads and I love that she explains that she reclaimed her heritage by recreating her clothes that fit the morals she was raised in but not in an oppressive way that that society had placed on it.
As a male Mennonite whose grandfather was shunned when he was a barefoot toddler, I was moved to tears by this interview. Shunning does damage generations deep, let me tell you. To fight back against your abusers within an isolated community that shuns you and anyone who associates with you… This woman is a warrior.
I am sorry for the abuse and pain that you have survived, Mary. There is a world of loving people out there for you, just filter for values wherever you go and don’t ever stop embracing your heritage. There are ‘cultural antibaptists’ floating around too, it’s just damn hard to find each other.
Hi Mary, good to know you are now safe. Thank you for enlightening englishers.
I'm sort of part of Michigan community. Very arbitrary, vague and verbal, even unspoken expectations/ordinance @ district.
I've seen on just the subject of visual art, many newcomers to our are are offended by the liberty in our area to paint and draw. Old order Amish from Byrne Indiana feel that drawing is verboten!!!
Hi there, I am wondering about some Mennonite people, a few families that were in a documentary about how they decided to pack up one day, and leave America to go to some jungle in like Cuba or Venezuela I'm not sure, maybe someplace in Asia where they had bought land, but they had to clear the trees to be able to build it was so undeveloped and isolated. This really blew me away because they looked like the last people who would ever be willing to take on such drastic and difficult all encompassing life changes, let alone they wanted to do it, they were not forced . But to go from what looked to me a very outlined and habitual life of routine to an uncertain surprised filled life of risk & chance. Like they were last people on earth I'd expect to find were I trekking threw that jungle . So is this something Mennonite people all do? Like a way to spread their religion to new places? Or do they usually stick within their established communities all their lives ? And have you heard about them within your community, some sort of update on Mennonite activities outside the states? This was the 1st of two part documentary and I never did get to see the 2nd and it would be so fantastic to learn they are thriving and healthy & to see their progress. I think about these people often and pray they are all well & alive.
are you jewish?
Shunned when he was a toddler?
I’ve never heard someone speak so softly and so loud at the same time. What a beautiful and intelligent warrior this woman is! One of my favorite interviews so far!! Thank you, Mary! We see you, we hear you, we support you! 🩷
She's a survivor ❤
He's also a survivor, but I think more than that he's a striver and thriver at this point. Good for you! Mary❤😮🎉
❤ this ❤
@@joanpascal7745 *She
Her use of language is so refreshingly precise
English language is racist tho... along with math!
@@jaystat6545What? Who TF said that? You? 😂
I agree, she is a great speaker and relatable.
Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!@@sugaredviolets2085
@@jaystat6545E.F. Callas Dear brother al I know îs Gods Laws are unbreakabke, if they wouldve been some sort of way în changing it,Jesues would nit have to come and die,for us to have chance to repentance! And 4th comandnt of The law talks about The real Sabath being Saturday, sunday îs The first day of The week,! Sunday was implemnted as a day for christians to worship,when a pqgqn empwror, Constantin The great ,made a merge betwen his idolatry to The sun,therefore sunday, with christianity for a biger mass to rule over! Lather it was adopted by The Vatican qs own sign of power,(The popes claiming they have godly autority on earth bigest blasphemy)therefore Sunday or Deis Solis în latin became The day most of The xhristins worship! But I belive we truly,live în The Last times of The earth,s-o its very posibile to hear about The sunday decret,being given by Vatican and backed by The USA prety soon! The Vatican îs The first beast risen from sees(those are nations,this first beast with 7 heads and 10 horns one whom had a wound but healed îs Vatican and papacy,The wounded horn,was when Napoleons general took The pope and Abolished Catolic rulment în 1798,but as we can obviously see healed,and grows goong to al nations,trying to form The New world order,and The second beast wich rose from earth with 2 horns of a lamb,being USA,as USA îs The only superpower who got big,without without conquer, was byilt by mostly protestants în less thqn 150 years,and has at its constituțional base, The capitalitic right of free speech, and free worship of anykind! That will no longer be The case ,this second beast will give all its autority to The first beast, thqt means,it will fully back any law or decret given by Vatican! It May seem incredible or unreal but The Bible doesnt lie! The claim under they will give The inquisition decret for al those who dont rest on Sunday îs that, its because of them thqt ql wars,famens and climate change,come upon The earth! The Bible states thqt right before Jesuse second coming,Satn himself will come and portray as Hrist,this decive will be powerfull, as it wil be folowed by mqny miraculos and healings,werever it will apear,! But The Bible doesnt live us without warning to this either;Bible clearly states that when Jesus comes "all eyes will see him" Mathew 24:26,27 / 2Tesalonicens2:3,4 8,9,10 ! So Jesuse second coming wil be seen worldwide, wile Satns forge only here and there! God bless you qnd youre loved ones!
I could listen to Mary speak for hours. I hung on to every word she said. I learned so much from her in this short interview. Thank you Mary for having the courage to speak on deep and personal issues that affected you. This was an amazing conversation to listen to
We almost had the same comment 😂
1) I love how colorful her dress and hair are. 2) You can feel how much pain this woman carries. I'm glad she made it through it, and I hope she finds peace and happiness.
Happiness and sadness come and go. I know she will be healing her entire life, but she seems content. And contentment after so much abuse, is a huge burden off the shoulders, and what some people never find because they're always chasing happines.
At first I was like what the hell when I saw her appearence. But after watching her interview, and hearing her explanation for her garments, it completely changed my opinion on it and now I really like her dress sense, now that I understand it. I kinda feel bad about my initial negativity tbh
I know I love her whole aesthetic 😭
Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!
This woman is incredible. Her sense of confidence in every single word she spoke and the power in every single subtle intonation. Her community lost a beautiful soul but we the rest of the world gained one.
She still wear the garb.... they haven't ever lost her.
@@TimTrOn3000she doesn’t always dress like that. Cults to conciousness did an interview with her and she wore regular clothing then. She made this dress this way for a reason
Former amish.. thank you thank you thank you. For putting the experience into the words i never could
Bless you dear❤
Happy u broke free❤
What an evil woman... they were right to shun her.
For reporting crimes?
@@kwimmsTroll.
@@kwimmsObvious bait
There is a saying, “Can you imagine the violence it took to become this gentle?” The aftermath of reporting of the abuse to the civil authorities was a baptism of fire for Mary. A weaker person would have been crushed by the shunning and the loss of friendship and family. Mary is an inspiration.
This girl just knew exactly what to say with almost NO questions
*Woman* She is and adult. Adult female humans aren't children. We aren't *girls*. I'm not coming for you - I just want this subtle and pervasive undercutting of the Feminine to be called out. I want us adult women to collectively no longer tolerate being referred to as children.
*Woman
@@dhvinebeauty the ex Amish woman has Girl power. That girl doesn't read ro me as a diminishing "girl" it is acknowledgement that she didn't get to have a proper girlhood.
From other interviews with her it appears she is acting in one of them. Not for me to decide which one is her true persona.
Woman- girl
Girl- woman
Stop looking for things to comment on.
@@dhvinebeauty
After all she suffered, she has chosen to maintain her gentle demeanor. I have so much respect for Mary.
She seems like a pot at the verge of boiling over. I think her 'coolness' is scary.
Jesus saves sinners! God bless you! Pray!
@@gregsimmons694 I do pray!
the rebellious flip on her traditional dress is so cool. lived-in nonconformity. go you, sista
She also shaved the side of her head. Very cool! 💕
Cosmic Amish….
Yesss it's really nonconformist to dye your hair pink!@
Some of my father's rules were no make up or perfume, and absolutely no noise afyer 7 pm. So these days I do myself up as much as I like, I have piercings and tattoos, I love perfume, and I blast music all evening long. Defiance of the abusers' rules, no matter what they were, is one of the singular joys of freedom. The abuser enjoys exacting complete control, instills deep shame in you for the slightest "mistake", and if you don't put insane levels of value and conformity into those rules, the abuser sniffs out your "rebellion" and will grind you into pulp gleefully. If you don't obey and thank them for stealing your autonomy, there is a very good chance you will not make it out alive. I hope the people that hurt her see her now and it eats them up because they have no power over her anymore. Now it's them, sitting small, and they hate that.
@AmmoGus1 for someone from that kind of community, it's tantamount to running naked down the street. She was raised to avoid attracting any kind of attention to herself and pink hair is shouting look at me.
Being a s/a survivor,I can't imagine how difficult this interview must have been for Mary,God be with her.
I love the sudden burst of passion when she started talking about the dress after she was so calm and understated
Me too. To watch her come alive was to feel her empowerment alongside her
The only time she stopped crouchaing
Same, she was proud of that dress, and she should be.
I know, that was almost bizarre (and I mean that in the least negative or judgemental way possible)! I was not expecting how strong her change in demeanor was lol
One could really feel her energy and strength. Impressive.
“That is my culture. That is my heritage. It’s in me, and I can’t outrun that.” Beautifully said
💯
There are a ton of people who think they can do that, but you can't erase your ethnicity. DNA showed we are heavily Hutterite/Haban on one side. We still don't know the details. We knew the family spoke both German and Czech and had been associated with the aristocracy in Germanic Europe before the failed Germanic revolutions of around 1848. Hutterite religion had been outlawed, but maybe they were still marrying among themselves as "ex"/crypto-hutterites, I I don't know. They had been sought as tutors and administrators by the ruling families because in Europe they were highly educated (one of the founders of Hutterites was a teacher, Lehrer). All across the areas they had lived in Europe the govts and govt-approved churches had demanded they stop "being" Hutterite, and on pain of death, exile, losing all their property, etc they "reconverted" however nothing can erase the DNA. In the US and Canada people decide they're not going to "be" Anabaptist anymore, but you can't erase your DNA. It's more than just a religion, it's an ethnicity even if, like Mary said, you were an atheist, with all the aspects that go into that including gene pool, dialect, and every other facet all the way down to how you think etc. The last thing you can't erase is your genes, but maybe also some things at the farthest down level of the Cultural Iceberg (Google that).
also a false dilemma, epigenetics is one way to circumvent, some medicine plants could help her drop the bodily connection....attachment..
@@graciemaye6381 how does a DNA test show hutterite/haban ancestry? And is your family in the USA or Canada?
I am full Hutterite born and raised, I speak the language and live the culture. I agree with you it is a part of your heritage that no matter where you go or what happens it is still a part of you as a human.
@@graciemaye6381 Gibberish
OMG. No idle hands here. Precise, thoughtful, analytical, intense, quiet. Reminds me so much of my paternal grandmother who, along with her family, was shunned by her Mennonite Community because my great grandmother attended the funeral of a Roman Catholic friend. (I'm 84 and my grandmother was born in 1878). Family lived in Western New York. Gram always had her bonnet and plain clothes and actually looked very much like Mary. The repercussions of that shunning still reverberate in my extended family with behavioral and mental health issues. Mary is a brilliant and courageous woman.
You were born in 1984 or you are 84 xx
sounds like you’ve got a fascinating story to share too - you should reach out to Mark & do an interview!
Mennonites do not practice shunning.
I want that dress!
@@beyondthedressingtableI can’t believe u said that, if he was born in 1984 , he’d be 40 not no damn 84 smfh
Being subdued or quiet does not mean you do not hold EXTREMELY valuable insight - Mary, thank you for sharing your story and showing such strength. You’re inspirational.
This was fantastic. Her entire demenor changed when she said, "I made a commitment that I was going to live my life out loud. And in color." She became animated and engaging. I felt included in conversation with her. How powerful!
@amaure216 I loved that part! She burst into bloom. It made me so happy!
@@violetxoxoxme too! I’m so proud of her and in awe of her. Warrior.
People who are desperate to affect an appearance of excessive colour and extravagance generally betray a feeling of insecurity, emptiness and rottenness on the inside.
I noticed she stopped crocheting at that point. She clearly felt very at home in herself when expressing that! Was nice to listen to.
I followed this story , I’m from Indiana and my wife and I taxi the Amish and believe me you can have an Amish girl from a family in a city 200 miles away that have never met one another and there kids look identical ! This lady went thru hell and back and all over again and these people knew the truth and knew that her own brothers were as guilty as sin but thru the court proceedings they actually bused in hundreds of Amish to back the guilty brothers . Filled the entire court room ! The judge felt so bad for her that he all but ripped the family , brothers, and people in the court room about how they backed those boys or men and had zero support for her ! Buss loads ! Sick that’s all I can say just sick . You have our support and keep you positive attitude stand strong and she isn’t letting them get her down ! And that’s way she didn’t elaborate on what they did to her ! Good job !
I have been to Amish "parties" where the males and females didn't even mingle together. I've seen the young Amish men tie the horses outside, and then go into the bar to buy eight-cases of Budweiser each. I've listened to my brother's apartment cleaner, Sarah, as she spoke of her Amish life, and how she will be an "old maid" forever, because she'd already had sex, and no boy would ever want her as a wife. Northern Indiana was a terrible place to be as a "regular" American citizen. The thought of being Amish there is repulsive to me. Them busing in the Pennsylvania Amish for breeding purposes was/is disgusting to me. I'll never forget Sarah's despair. She had no hope of a future. I wonder if she's still alive.
@@gforceforeverunfortunately, women who aren't valued in cults are often pressured to marry bad men, becauee the community wants to punish her while still upholding their values
@@christianandjesse7370, perhaps, but each Amish "cult" is different. Sarah lived with her mother, so she at least wouldn't be cast out totally. She used to beg me to let her wear my clothing (English clothes, as she would say), and to use my makeup. She wanted desperately to be accepted, to have fun, and to find a guy willing to look her way. Truly, it was a very saddening and sobering thought that my entire existence could have been hinging upon males' perceptions of me, if I had been born into that culture. If I could find Sarah and rescue her from it, I would. Her mind wasn't sharp, so I'm sure she's still cleaning homes with bleach and ammonia together. I found her passed out in the bathroom twice from the fumes.
It's extremely rare that an Amish person would even allow themselves to be photographed , let alone to be video taped. But it seems to me that she's trying to do right by standing against sexual abusers. I definitely stand behind her!
Not really. Well, although Mennonite, I’ve seen them with cameras, at Cedar Point, buying a box of butter from Aldi (a bad churning day?), and even at MicroCenter in Columbus, Ohio…modernity has encroached their lives and it is more and more difficult for them, especially business owners, not to use technology. We have a lot of different orders in central Ohio.
I'm in Alabama, So I've never anything like that here. Although, there is an Amish cabinet shop near by, but they're non practiceing... with the exception of their craftsmanship.@@GenXrCist669
Extremely rare? Lol...WTF is WRONG with you? That's so NOT true
One of the many myths that the English have about the Amish. Living around and working with them in northeastern Indiana completely blew away all the illusions I had of them. Most of the younger generations have social media, cell phones, bluetooth headphones, LED lights on their buggies, stereo systems, etc. It varies from group to group but the more you learn about each the more you'll be surprised at the "wordly" things they now embrace.
She was speaking on stereotypes of the amish community in the very beginning. This is exactly what she was talking about. Each community/settlement is different.
Mary has such a light. I could listen to her speak all day. Her voice is just so calming.
I've never seen an interview where the one interviewed had so much space to think and process. She wasn't bombarded with questions but gently led. Fasinating.
You might also like Mormon Stories Podcast. It's different, (some interruptions), but they are breathtakingly committed to listening to interviewees' whole story.
Very refreshing!
Bravo Mark
@@pechaaI agree. This was such a good interview to watch. (Not saying other videos aren’t . ) she has this delicate and calm demeanor about her.
I love that Mary is crocheting while talking about her life. Years ago, my therapist encouraged me to bring my quilting to sessions so I had something to do with my hands and eyes while we talked. The things that were so hard spilled out while doing my handwork.
That’s a great idea!! I never know what to do with my hands and start sweating while talking to my therapist
@debmule I always have something in my hands I’m “working on” with my therapist too. I like that she understands and doesn’t mind because it makes me more comfortable.
My therapist when I was living somewhere else as a teen had colouring pages, both adult and children, ranging in difficulty with supplies from kids crayons to pencil, to water colour paints. And I LOVED doing those while talking. Made the sessions themselves less traumatic.
I loved it when she corrected herself by saying people are dying from suicide.....so poignant and well put. I loved this interview. And I also loved how she made her dress for herself. Good for you my dear.
This amazing woman is profoundly intelligent. The grace of her words, the precision of her speech, and the clarity in which she communicates is something to behold.
A community shunning victims of sexual assault and spending its time measuring the wrist cuff on women's dresses needs to readjust its priorities desperately. Thank you Mary! 💜
In Islam, they STONE women, who have been raped. Because she is then guilty of infidelity, even though, SHE was assaulted!!
Sharia (Islamic law) demands, that 4 witnesses are found. Those can be bought...
This happens in Iran, Somalia, and Nigeria!
@@howardmighty6764 What are you unto?!
And so do those who collectively judge them. This woman despite all she's gone through was, nonetheless, consistently against collectively judging an entire community.
It's also important to grasp that whether one is Amish on one end of the scale or 'woke,' on the other, it is possible to be overly-rigid and insistent on certain things, and to have misplaced priorities. Human nature is human nature, no matter what one's beliefs are.
Howard. See you at the Gate!
God is watching
Her calm tone and vocabulary and the structure of her speech is so amazing intelligent and soothing
I agree like a teacher or something. I don't know but it's truely unique.
I could listen to her all day! Very captivating. 😊
She would do well with a channel of her own, just crocheting and telling stories. Like asmr or whatever
@@autumn3703 or audiobooks!
Watch her interview on Cults to Consciousness 5 months ago completely different persona!
Sending 12 men sends a clear message… what we’re dealing with here is an ear drum busting whistle blower who’s not a-scared of religious gang thugs, nor the devil before daylight . Much gratitude for the big bravery! CROTHET ON, SISTER!! You rock.
@@knucklehead99-z1w There are no gods. Only horrible people that use superstition to control others.
@@knucklehead99-z1w Betrayal of the people abusing children you mean? Surely you are not for allowing same…?
@@knucklehead99-z1w Please explain how she’s narcissistic? By not tolerating abuse? By embracing her autonomy? By using her own significant god-given brain to choose how she wishes to live her own precious life? To create a life for herself that celebrates who she is and allows her to bring her best self to the world?
@@nismo2070 I respect your view. Mine is that God is Love, and if we’re on the right path in our lives, no one will get controlled or abused or hurt.
@amyedie8902 your “CROCHET ON SISTER!!” is delightful. You rock, too. ☺️
this was one of THE most compelling interviews i have EVER watched. thank you so much Mary for sharing your story
I myself grew up Amish in Northern Indiana. Married Amish. After our 5th child was born we had good reasons to leave the Amish way of life and their interpretations of the Word of God.
Just want to say my heart goes out to Mary. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you the hug of a sister and fellow human being. Although by appearance.. no one would be able to tell that I had been Amish for 32 years … the feeling of having been “Amish” is still very much on the inside.
Mary, the past does not define who YOU really are. You have value and you are loved!!
You from middleberry ?
My grandparents were Pennsylvania Dutch and lived in Goshen, Indiana. Mary is a beautiful soul. Thank you for letting her speak - it was a profound interview.
So is Amish a religion, a culture, or both?
@@kmeeks92987both. Christian based but they have no connection with the outside world. Most of them don’t have electricity.
@@AlacrandeGaryIndianaI was going to ask the same! Barbra miller is a dress maker in middlebury I have many dresses from her
She just came ALIVE when she started speaking about her clothes. What an amazing woman.
I came here to say this too. You can see how happy she is to display her freedom and joy❤
Agreed. She did.
She could write a best-selling autobiography, surely. She's eloquent, interesting in appearance and unique in her history which gives insight to a hidden part of America. I hope she considers it.
another biological clown whom has been unfortunately hindered from manifesting the circus existence that all sub-insect creatures strive for 😢
Was she supposed to come dead? Doofy azz
Absolutely breathtaking. She speaks so eloquently, and expresses herself so honestly. But her calm demeanor, the slow thoughtful way she speaks… this woman is a warrior. Thank you both for this episode. It really touched my heart. God’s blessings to you both.
Because of your "god" she never had a life. Freak.
We all should be more thoughtful before we speak especially our politicians
God bless you! Jesus saves sinners!
You didn’t have to share with us your story. You didn’t owe us or anyone anything, but you gave yourself to us, opened up such a raw and painful wound, and used your story to help educate us and inspire hope. I want to be strong like you and speak even when it’s hard. Even when it hurts to relive everything.
@27:27 Her demeanor changes. When talking about how she changed how she looks and what it means to her to define her freedom.... she drops her crochet and beams with a big smile... absolutely HEART WARMING!!
"Own and know thyself." Is all it says to me. It made me smile to watch her drop her crochet and with pride, explain why she dresses the way she does. Good for you!
The thing she said: "[it's] more appropriate to say they're dying /from/ suicide."
This hits way different.
2nd leasing cause if death in the under 18 zone.
LEADING
❤
It does hit different. Makes it sound like someone else did the job, not the person who died
@@takyrica The conditions and environment caused the person to die from suicide. Using the word commit implies that suicide should be viewed as a crime than rather a sickness that can be prevented.
This woman is a poet, I could listen to her speak all day. Her timbre, cadence, and way with words is nothing short of a pleasure to the ears.
yep
I knew if I looked in the comments I would find others who enjoyed her calm, patient, and thoughtful words as much as I do. I'm sad that she experienced what she did. I'm so grateful that she had the strength to tell the truth and share her story.
Kind of creepy too lol 😆
@@nobueno8652Says more about you, doesn't it?
Very well said. I was thinking the same.
I just researched this case and wow… she endured horrific abuse at every turn. I’m so sorry, Mary. I am so glad you found the strength to speak out. You amaze me.
Oh no. I need to look it up unless it’s that horrible and I just don’t need to see it. Please let me know.
She really carried this interview herself, I forgot it was an interview felt like a monologue 👏👏👏 God bless her 🙏
Same. I felt like I was watching a movie.
God bless you! Jesus saves!
that black and white headshot 33:59, those eyes... there's a profound sadness in those eyes and even as she explained the horrors forced upon her I can't even fathom a single iota of the strength she has to continue living when your LITERAL ENTIRE world conspires against you in malice. I truly do wish the best for her
I love how you just let her talk. She's so calm and measured.
I wouldn’t say she seemed calm, you can hear the anxiety in her voice with every word she said
she still kept calm. that is impressive and admirable@@actual______criminal
Long time fan of yours, Mark. This is my new all-time favorite interview. Moved me to tears more than once. Thank you Mary.
I have no idea how she completed the entire interview without dropping a single tear. Thank you for sharing your humanity
She’s cried a lifetime of tears…..until she just stops. You recognize that they won’t change anything. SHE had to get up and CHANGE her circumstances…..and she did! 👏👏👏👏👏
Luke 6:22-23
Hence the crocheting. It probably soothes her.
Or stitch.
it appeared that she came close a couple of times.
She was amazing, but watching her sadness was almost overwhelming. She came alive though, when she talked about herself.
Thank you, Mark for presenting one of the most unique interviews you have done. It will open a lot of eyes.
Watch some of her other interviews and her own videos, she seems like a sort of different person. You’ll see another side of her. She’s quite interesting. Just search Mary Byler Amish
I agree, her sadness made me cry, to be honest, and that is rare. But her joy is contagious, too.
The sadness was really deep, that was the most difficult for me.
There’s no such thing as “just leave”… it goes way deeper psychologically.
Thank you for bravely speaking up and speaking out.
Of course! It’s truly wrong to say “just leave”. Mary’s reaction to “are you in touch with your family” spoke volumes. Her pained face, her silence, her thoughtful answer. It’s not like these are just casual acquaintances she could up and ditch on a whim when things went sideways. It’s complicated.
Yes like leaving an abusive marriage ... "Just leave". Not that simple!
Her voice is so soothing. She would make a good therapist. And is absolutely beautiful and wonderfully made!
What a great interview. The pauses add so much. She is so smart, so thoughtful, so introspective. I loved every word she spoke. Her entire demeanor changed when discussing her dress. It was beautiful.
“How they handle those problems matter. “ Astounding statement. I wish I could help every girl and boy who suffers this trauma.
Amen
❤
Wonderful interview. She’s not angry at the world. She’s angry at the people who deserve her anger for the despicable things that were allowed in what could have been a nurturing environment.
typical lefty, your anger is the only acceptable anger, right ?
@@EBDeveloper So, does that make you a "typical righty"? Since when does "anger" have a political ideology behind it?
@dangelo1369 when it's aimed in a particular fashion or way.
@@EBDeveloperThis isn't about politics. Amazing how people like you think ANYTHING not right wing is somehow "less than". You're part of the problem in this country right now by thinking this way. And learn to capitalize at the beginning of sentences since you're so smart.
@@nicolekb12 She didn't just hold anger, she's expressing it. Jesus expressed his anger over violation of the temple. Some boundaries are basic and need to be defended with controlled appropriate anger.
Yo, did y'all notice how she put the crochet down and lit up when talking about her outfit. From head to toe. And how she put her spin on it. Huge respect for her, as she values and appreciates her culture. 👏🏼
I love her. Absolutely respect her. I'm a therapist and for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to open a private practice that assists Amish/Anabaptist youth and adolescents.
More of her please!
I am also a mental health counselor interested in this!
@@rachelklenk4850Besides the false sabt(Sunday),and teh wide spread of spiritism(yog, karma, ouiaj bord, reiki,hipnosis), last final decie wil be ,atht satn himslef wil come as Hrist, sayinghe changed teh day of rest! And this decie wil be poerful for al those who dont read teh Bible for themseles,as it wil be flowed by great miracles and healings,everywere he wil apear! But teh Bible dosnt live su without wraning to this and cleaerly says aht when Jesius coems " All eyes wil see Him" ,so everyone on earth, wilse satans fake only here and there! -read Mathew chaoter 24! Another direct warning to teh spirit f the anthirst is in 2 Joan 7" anyone who says atht Jesus doenst coem in flesh/body, is teh spirit of the anthirst"! And i would sugest you get abook caled " The great cintroversy" by Ellen White, is ana mazing book, wich depicts the war betwen good and evil,from Lucifers afl til teh very end,and in the last few chapters, is everything about what we live, and whats toc eom, pure undiluted truth, with valiuble insights! God bless you all!
@@rachelklenk4850 I actually was in communication in 2010-ish with the author Saloma Furlong who is also ex-Amish and experienced abuse within her Amish community in Ohio. She has worked with Dr. Donald Kraybill who has done extensive work with the Amish communities. I wanted to open a practice that assists youths and adolescents in these communities that have suffered abuse and have decided to leave. I suggest looking up Saloma and Dr. Kraybill and getting more information.
She could teach so many girls and women from different walks of life because so many have the same experiences but different stories. Religious rule by men alone has very serious effects upon women.
Look at the irish "mother and child" homes leaded by catholic NUNS and just Nuns even the higher ranks and the administration was...guess what.....all Nuns....so woman who diminished "bastard" children, neglecting them, shaming the mothers for having children outside the wedlock....should i continue?? Just watch what horrific things WOMAN in the catholic church did to mothers and their children.
Thank you for giving this woman a voice and a platform to speak.
Mary I send you comfort, strength, and understanding. I left the fundamentalist cult that I was raised in when I was 23 and have been shunned for the last 37 years. I experienced extreme physical, sexual, and mental/emotional abuse. From the outside, we looked like the "perfect family". Blessings on your path, may you continue to heal and may you find unconditional love.
Activism. Arm chair warriors are annoying.
@@gozimusable1so are armchair critics! Especially if their English useage is dodgy, people in glass houses etc., etc.
Mormon?
If they were good, nobody would ever live or need to be shunned right lol? They only tell on themselves for doing this t victims of crimes
Jehovah's Witness@@geraldek4948
Mary came to do a job, to spread awareness & it was beautiful THANK YOU 🤎
This woman is a gem.
her glowing demeanor about her dress was so lovely. This may be a captain obvious comment, but I could tell the stitching was handsewn. Imagine her meticulously piecing together her attire, meditating on the choices she was making for *herself* in spite of all of the hardship and rejection people have put on her shoulders. Her quiet strength is so inspiring. Much love from WV.
This is easily one of the most interesting guests you have had in a long time.
agree!!
Agreed!
Yes! 💯
Agree. There's only so many tweaked out, codependent, self-indulgent addicts one can listen to before it gets tedious. More people with varied and *truly* untold stories.
I love how how she said "I chose to live my life in color" very powerful. We should all live like that.
Love the way she talks. She is very easy to listen to and captivating. Very well spoken and soothing😮
Her “thank you” and sigh at the end. I have no words. Powerful captivating interview.
God Bless you for speaking “pure” truth and setting bondage free. 🤔❤️
Clearly very cathartic for her. I cannot relate to her experiences except in a very tiny way. I've seen hypocrisy in church, but nothing like that. She is amazingly strong.
That sigh signals there's more to tell. We'll likely be hearing from Mary as she goes forward. It appears she still does subscribe to Amish customs. Her flat manner of speaking is how people from oppressed environs speak.
Best. Interview. Ever. Mary, you are an amazing human and I feel honored to have heard you speak on your life.
Same! She's such a brave and inspirational person
❤ 🌹
Same with me as well. ❤
Mary, I haven't spoken to my mother in 10 years. She's in her 80's now, and I have congestive heart failure. She has never met her only blood grandson. I'm so sorry this happened to you too...but having said that - we are powerful people. Escaping a high-control religious group requires a certain mettle and strength that not just anyone possess. You have made my heart glad today...and I absolutely adore your dress. Adapting WHO you are to where you come from, but not being smothered or oppressed by it is a new concept to me, and you have made me start thinking this afternoon.
I'm sorry that you had to give up on the idea of a mother for yourself. 😢 I have no doubt the benefits of doind so we're worth the cost. 😢❤
God bless you Mary, God loves you so much!
Having been evolved in 3 different cult communities, I send out a cheer for those persons who saw through the oppressive control and found the autonomy of living as whole individuals. I've been able to maintain a close connection with, not the god of religious dogma, but the God who fiercely loves me, who rejoices in His daughter.
@@estherclark820why did you keep drinking at that well though ?
Good for you. Go for it❤❤❤
This is unquestionably the most powerful and insightful interview I have ever seen on this channel. Thank you for allowing her her silences.
thank you for saying what i WANTED to say...this was an incredible interview...amazing really...
Exactly my feelings as well. Sitting here, trying to come up with the right words to express what you have said. There is just so many! She is very intelligent and so well spoken, It’s crazy to think English is her second language.
I've never heard anyone so soft spoken cut the air with such booming sobriety. And Mark's visuals seem to compound it.
The sigh she let out at the end of this interview, I felt that. It felt so therapeutic for her to finally let it all out on a public platform to bring awareness of the abuse that goes on in that community. She has been through so much and revealing her experiences lifted so much weight off her shoulders. Abusers are everywhere, no matter what race, gender or religion. My heart goes out to her and her healing.
Thank you for that clarification!!! So many people think that other religions are cults.A cult is different one must study other religions. To be able to differentiate.
This isn't new to her, she's been on various podcasts talking about it.
@@brwynnpretty much any religious text or doctrine can be twisted and perverted as a means to achieve personal gain or to manipulate others, often to commit acts of violence. The term “cult” just basically means “my religion is bigger and more important than yours”. Historically, more lives have been taken in the name of the major faiths than any small sects of people could ever begin to claim. It just makes better headlines when a handful of people with less orthodox views do something terrible.
Mary, you should do voice-overs, audiobooks. Amazing delivery of your own difficult story. So genuine and honest, so captivating. Thank you for sharing. Your story is powerful and will touch and inspire many that can relate to trauma.
This was an incredible interview. Mary is so warm and has such a kindness about her. I'm proud of her bravery, and I wish her all the best in this world.
Love the way she talks. So calming, so clear. I could listen to her for hours. I really love the clear english she speaks and she seems such a reflecting and wise person. Greetings from germany.
Exactly ".....you can hear her punctuating speech"
Sincere demeanor......
Yes , so CLEAR
I love that she crocheted so I could just listen and focus on her words.
Sie hatte Plattdeutsch als Kind?
You can tell she is incredibly smart and articulate although she likes the word "inherently" a lot!😂
Well said Mary well said. As I survior myself of sexual abuse, I too was shunned in a Catholic family. The abuser played the martyr and denied any wrong doing. My biological family rallied behind the abuser and continued to victimize me emotionally year after year. Sadly this is the story of many victims and why they stay silent. I am proud of you Mary for continuing your healing path and living your truth.
I have catholic family members who are still in denial of abuse in the church. I’m so sorry your biological family continues to hurt you in that way. Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you nothing but strength and happiness
♡♡♡
Thank you. My family still does not talk about multi generational sexual drama! I moved to sub arctic Alaska, as far away as I could!
Unfortunately, this just adds to children's and adults fears that they won't be believed.
So sorry your own family didn't believe you
The experience of loosing your whole family & extended family through shunning is hard for many to understand. The hurt & pain & disbelief when you feel that you are not ‘worth’ being listened to or supported on top of the aftermath of abuse & loosing everything you’ve ever known is huge, unfathomable to most. Getting on with living & loving is a long road. Strength to all of us who walk this path ❤
She is being punished for stopping abuse. Wow 🤯
I’m sorry to say I’m cynical enough that I’m not even surprised. When *havent* victims been blamed and shamed thru history? Emphasis on HISstory.
Because she is a woman. All women are punished for asking for their equal rights, freedoms, safety throughout the world. Mary is a voice for millions of women.
@@edvh88Absolutely.
@@edvh88
Why is most women's s*xual fantasy r*pe?
The way you write "history" has nothing to do with males, btw. It's all in your head - like that fantasy.
You know how I know? I'm male. And most of us wouldn't ever r*pe a woman, because we had good mothers.
Does it matter though? Of course not. You'd never mention the skincolor of the perp, because you are "tolerant" enough to be r*ped by someone 2 shades darker than you.
What? Crime stats suddenly disappear in your "grey vision"?
This is common practice in all cultures if you pay attention. ❤
This is such an eye opening and RIVETING interview! What an incredibly brave, intelligent and thoughtful woman to have come out of that travesty! You are making a real difference in speaking out...BRAVO!!
I live in Pa Amish country and just finished training as a DV/SA Advocate. Thank you for letting all people speak their truth!
I live in Lancaster County Pa.
You have to train to be Amish?
Huh
@@jonnyhunggdv/sa advocate is someone that helps domestic violence and/or sex abuse victims basically, it’s not an Amish role. They deal with a lot of Amish people though
I could listen to her talk for hours she has a very soothing voice
This was one of the most compelling interviews yet.
The cadence of her speech reflects incredible strength, while simultaneously reflecting unimaginable pain.
Seeing her crocheting and reliving those painful memories brought an indescribable feeling. Surprisingly soothing yet also inspiring and sorrowful.
And no interview needed, she just interviewed herself, beautifully done
U have to see the interview of the orthodox Jewish woman. It is incredible. I’m watching this one now.
All the way up until she lied about being in the Army. She had me going up till then. This ain't the first aspiring actor/actress to dupe homie.
She's articulate thoughtful
& centered ?
Bet that didn't help her
fit into a highly regulated
clanish group scene.
Ooooooohhhhh and I just watched more of it and she pronounced Lancaster wrong. She pronounced it like anybody from outside of PA would pronounce it, "Lan-caster" yet she claims to be PA Amish, which means she would pronounce it the other way "Lancister". BUSTED!!! 😆
The way she speaks reminds me of my grandmother, whom I look up to so, so, so much. Now that I'm older, I know that she went through so much, but she has such a calm, collected presence. Especially the way Mary speaks, her cadence, and the way that she is able to look at different perspectives; it reflects such strength and wisdom to have processed everything she experienced. This was an amazing interview, and I wish Mary well. :)
She is so well spoken.. I’m captivated by every word she has to say. She’s truly got so much depth to her, and this was truly a very unexpected but impactful interview. Thankyou.
China bot.
And with no dutch accent.😄