Narcissist's Wife-Deanna
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 เม.ย. 2023
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Deanna, the ex-wife of a narcissist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Here's a link to a GoFundMe campaign to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/9ebad507
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I just wanted to take a moment to thank Mark so much for allowing me to share my story. The week since this was posted has been an emotional rollercoaster. I had no idea how many people would see this video and the response that it would get. I've tried replying to as many comments as possible to thank all the kind, supportive, amazing people and survivors who have left encouraging words and shared their stories with me as well. I want to continue sharing, growing and learning from my past. As well as bring awareness to these issues and help others that are going through similar situations. It's ok to talk about what you have been through, it's ok to ask for help, it's ok to forgive yourself and others. Most importantly it's never too late to change your life for the better. Thank you again ❤
We’re all here for you! My heart is with you. I’ve been divorced from mine for 7 years, but we have a child so I’ll never be rid of him. Much love!
Got me wanting to be a better person 🥺🫶🙏🏽🫂
❤❤❤
Powerful interview. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are so proud of how you turned things around. Wishing you and your daughter nothing but the best ❤
@@teeners8889 Thank you so very much 💖
For anyone in an abusive relationship wanting to leave: never announce it. Never. You plan, you play dumb, you escape. You do it all in one fell swoop and never go back.
Your statement is profound wisdom. As a narcissist magnet, I see the wisdom of your words and the survivalist truth of what you are saying. Thanks, elizabethann3117.
I married one. It was the worst 5 years of my life. I didn’t see the way I was being controlled or staged managed by him. He used to
Grope me and violate me all the time. When I told him to stop. He would be like “you’re going to be sad when it goes away and I don’t want you anymore”. Total bullshit manipulation. I used to have to lock myself in the bathroom to change my clothes. So, I wouldn’t be molested by him.
He told me “I never lie to you. I always tell you the truth”. If a man tells me that again, I’m going to run the other direction. Because when his affair came to light. All the sudden all his
Lies came to the surface. He lied all the time. If his
Mouth was moving he was lying. It was the worst time of my life. I want to work with women in similar situations get their voice back.
Yes . That’s what I did. I agree with you.
Yes.
Sadly it’s that last ditch plea for remorse on their part to renounce their ways. Which ain’t ever going to happen (at least not without some sort of life event UNordained by you).
Did.
She mentioned at one point she didn’t leave him because she was too weak at the time. I think we so often see our survival instinct as weakness. But every single moment of her story shows her incredible strength and resilience.
Thank you so incredibly much. I honestly never looked at it from that perspective.
Say it sister.
How is being "weak" and excuse? She deserves everything she got for her bad decisions, she had several people tell her to leave including the first wife he had which she knew and stole him from her, they went to a professional counselor and told her to leave him, she refused.....no no no, women once you're an adult woman and make the choice of staying with an abuser even after multiple people warned you and offered help....you deserve what you get.
@@cristohvThe fact that you would leave such a vile comment like this says a Lot about the kind of person you sadly are. To say someone “deserves” abuse because they made bad decisions is absolutely disgusting. But guess what? Without those bad decisions I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter, I wouldn’t have an amazing friend like his “first wife” who wasn’t his wife but you missed that part and I would be the incredibly strong woman I am today who is sharing her story and trying to help others. I learned from everything I went through so I can teach others not to make the same mistakes. I’m thankful for every lesson and I’m thankful for the life I have today. I want to help and be a light to others. What kind of legacy do you think you are leaving behind with this behavior? Do better
@itsjust_deanna I never said you deserved to be abused, but nice play on words. You consciously made choices that affected your life in a positive or negative way. Repeating those bad choices throughout "Adulthood" and then using the excuse that you were "weak" and that's part of why you didn't leave is no real excuse. Any man that goes through what you went would be called a dumbass plain and simple. But when a woman does it she can always hide behind the fact that she got kids and those are blessing, meanwhile ignoring the point which is as an ADULT you made bad choices so own up to them, all I heard was I was abused, no you were abused as a child and that is terrible, but once you grew up honey ain't no more excuses for picking a horrible guy and say but he was a charmer....but you're right I'm sure I'm a horrible guy for pointing out what I see.
My mother was a malignant narcissist. I was probably 60-something before I began to realize how ill she was, and what the effects had been on me. I was 56 when she died, and my reaction was sheer relief.
I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that type of parent. I completely understand how you felt when she passed. I hope you have been able to heal ♥️🙏🏼
Malignant narcissism is not an illness. A psychiatrist cannot treat it.
Still, I am sorry what you went through.
@@sloftyIf you don't mind...What do you think or know narcissistic personalities to fall under then? If not a mental condition? Deliberately Abusive? Intentional Harm & Hate ? Just Simply Evil? That sure is what it feels like ... just curious...
@@sloftyit is a mental illness… what do you mean it’s not an illness? Some cancers are malignant and aren’t treatable
It’s sad my mother just passed this year and I found out a few months before she passed that she was covert and she didn’t even know why she was the way she was…. I believe it is a demon.
It’s time to start holding these adoption agencies accountable
I was privately adopted. Records sealed. Decades later my mother said if I was a boy, the doctor would keep me, if a girl, he'd give me to them.
This 👏 there is something deeply wrong with this system.
Amen
@@christonpo2336 yeah MONEY!!! ALL FOR THE MONEY!!!!!
Couldn’t agree more 🙌🏽
If you’re gonna leave a narcissist - it’s almost always something you have to prepare for. You play stupid, you play helpless, you play naive. And you plan. Then once you’re out - NEVER LOOK BACK
Agreed.
It’s so hard not to get emotional & frustrated then in* anger etc you yell out everything you’ve been planning then said plan is ruined & you have to start all over & try even harder
Karen Rollins: I agree! And people after you leave, Never look back entails NOT calling them, STAY AWAY!!!! Many blessings to you🙏
Yep
💯💯💯
The fact that I see Deanna replying to almost everyone in the comments tells me what a beautiful, sweet, kind soul she is!
Thank you! I love interacting with everyone and so many people have shared their stories with me as well ❤️
Or maybe shes a narcissist too
@@ismaelsantana4238Really, how so?
@itsjust_deanna since u asked I'd say your more of the vulnerable narcissist.
@@ismaelsantana4238No I asked how so. I am a complete stranger who you don’t know from a hole in the wall. So what evidence do you have to support such a claim?
As someone who stuck by a narcisist girlfriend for almost decade, stealing all my teen age years and the early part of my 20s who only recently is recovering, I can say that the worst thing about being with a narcissist is the constant guilt you feel while you are the one being victimized. Narcissists are so selfish and evil that they won't even allow you to pull yourself back up since you are in a constant swing between the pain they cause you and the suffering they make you go through thinking you are the one hurting them and so they justify their behavior. Thanks Deanna for making me feel less lonely while I go through my journey hoping to fully heal one day ❤
You describe it so accurately. You definitely aren’t alone. There are so many in these situations or healing from them. You will get there in time, just keep moving forward and never look back. Wishing you the best.
@@itsjust_deannaThank you so much for giving me strength throughout your story. You are a wonderful human being that didn't let her terrible experiences overshadow everything awesome you had inside. I will try my best to use my own trauma to become the best version of myself too. Wish you and your daughter the best, you deserve it ❤❤
I just away from mine, same situation. All my teens and early 20s. She’s a soulless monster
"You have to learn to forgive ppl who aren't sorry." Powerful words
I've actually learnedand listened to God. He does not forgive narcs and neither should we. Some unintentionally hurt others. They can be forgiven. Narcs seek to destroy you.
Ask me how I know
@@rppope1006 god forgives everyone.......god is beyond human and not bound by the same petty rules. Human find it hard to forgive, god does not.
Do not make god out to be as petty as the average human......
You can just as easily be a narc and not know it, thats how being a narc works....
@@rppope1006facts
💯💯💯💯💯💯RS
@@jacobus57…that’s reconciliation, its different. Forgiveness isn’t transactional at all. From God, it is freely given through Christ, when we do it, it is with humility and to imitate Christ….and it usually takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears.
Thing is, narcissistic abuse from a partner is so bad that words can’t even describe it. As sad as her story is, it doesn’t come close to what she actually went through.
Facts... because it's NOT just the narcissist... the system continues to re-victimize those of us who have already endured more than what most would imagine is "too much". Hence suicide uptick which isn't just about the biased idea of "mental issues" or "addiction". Victims of narcs don't inherently have mental issues. Crazy world... but I love this channel because it SHOWS from personal accounts, the veracity of variables.
You're absolutely right. I ended a 5 yr relationship with a narcissist and moved back to my home town. He had never met most of my family so he couldn't find me. I haven't dated since. It's been 9 years.
That's the truth, you're lucky if we can even explain everything we have went through etc she did an amazing job but her story is barely even half of it you're absolutely right
True
So very true
While listening, I kept thinking: if I'd had a child with my narc husband, this is what my life would have been. You are so strong, Deanna! I am cheering for you!
Thank you so much! Yeah having a child definitely makes things harder and more complicated. I’ll never regret having my daughter as she is my entire world. But I never recommend having a child wish this type of person.
so you do have a narc husband? leave!!!
I did! Thanks!@@gamigam2718
@@gamigam2718it's not your place to tell someone to leave a relationship.
Sounds JUST like my ex boyfriend. He cheated on me all the time and started to become abusive. He left me for another girl after 4 years who was my friend and I tried to warn her, I’m just happy I got away. It was always a weird compliment and then a stab like “you’re book smart but you’re not common sense smart” or “you’re pretty but you’re too skinny”. I FEEL for this woman, I can only wish her and anyone else who has been through this HEAL ❤
I’m sorry you ever had to deal with anyone like that. You are smart because you got away and now you know what to look out for. ❤
I really hate when a person tells me I lack common sense it's really the deepest dig
She’s the definition of the lotus flower, she fought through all the mud and shit, through elements designed to kill her, to grow into the most beautiful (inside and out) flower the sun could shine its light on.
You’re incredible and deserve all the happiness in the world ❤
Omg, that is so beautiful! Will you please marry me?
@kyliebaby1391 Before reading your comment I was going to write something similar; then I said nope; Your comment/words are the most beautiful..and poignant. I hope Deanna reads your comment.
You don't know her. You watched an hour of a story that she told you only her side of.
@@grottoserpentina9342 they came to mind watching her. She could be so angry at the world but instead shows her beauty.
@@hitzoneproductions7858 I’m sorry was there a video with all the ppl who abandoned and abused her? I must’ve missed it.
I’d almost think this channel was for us to take a glimpse into someone’s life. It’s easy to show outward beauty but hard to come across as authentic when your faking internal beauty. I stand by my initial thought and if I’m wrong I’ve hurt nobody. Here’s a hug you obviously need it 🤗
NEVER tell a narcissist that you are leaving. Just leave quietly.
That’s what I tell everyone now. Never let them know your plans.
That's what my mother had to do and my cousin's mom
If you’ve never experienced it, then you can’t REALLY understand. Hugs and prayers from a fellow survivor ❤
Thank you! Sending you lots of hugs as well ❤
The fact that you endured so much with your adopted parents but didn't blame your biological mom shows what an amazing women you are. You could have been bitter towards her, but you chose to show her grace and kindness. It speaks volumes about you as a person. Thank you for having the courage to share your story with us. 🙏🏾💛
Thank you so much for listening to my story and for your kind words ♥️😊
I like how you worded that. I cannot type what I think because I am very empathetic for adoptive children although I am not. Good job. 😂❤
For anyone who's never been sucked up into the net of a narcissist, it's almost impossible to understand why people "fall for it". Dating a narcissist is a whole different experience that scars you and changes you for ever.
Professor Sam Vaknin breaks it down very well.
💯
!!!!!
Amen! My ex wife did massive damage to my mental state and I’m still working on putting the pieces together. The scars she left behind will last a lifetime. It’s difficult to imagine you’d ever be in that place until you’re in it. Then you wonder how you got there.
Thank you for that statement... I was married to a narcissist for 10 years. It was hard, and still is.
The worst part about sharing one’s narcissist encounter is how difficult it is to explain to others. Especially those who have never had a relationship with a narcissist. In the end your still the one that sounds crazy.
I couldn’t agree more.
Was your abusive ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?
@@rv706 Are you speaking to me or the person who left the original comment?
@@rv706noone gets formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder unless they seek out therapy themselves AND their narcissism is objectively ruining their own lives (that they can't keep a job, they mess up their finances, they're unable to sustain relationships with other people etc).
Most narcissists will never admit to being "the problem", as being unable to even think of that as a genuine possibility is part of the diagnose. They will not seek help for their own sake. They will only use therapy as a weapon against their "loved ones" if they ever decide to go.
They will also easily manipulate psychologists who are not specifically trained to spot narcissistic traits and spot narcissistic abuser-victim dynamics in couple's therapy.
Check out Dr Ramani on youtube if you'd like to learn more about narcissism from a clinical point of view.
Right 😔
Most of those who have experienced a narissistic relationship have endured their favorite weapon of gaslighting. Most victims have online PhD's in psychology as they try to figure out ehat the hell is happening to them. All the stories have common threads no matter what the background story. So we/they find confort in these forums because its healing in jtself to know we arent crazy and certainly not as alone as we feel.
I prefer this description of gaslighting I read once:
"Gaslighting is when someone makes you feel like you made promises that you didn't, or that you did something that you didn't, or that something happened (or didn't happen) that didn't happen (or did). They make you feel like you're losing your mind. You find yourself having to defend yourself against things you never said or did. Does that make any sense?"
Everything you said made so much sense! You are so right and I was always so confused and felt crazy. I didn’t understand how this person was so nice and charming to others. But treated me horribly in public. How he could provide us with a nice lifestyle, gifts and vacations. But cheated, lied and destroyed my self esteem constantly. It wasn’t until I learned about narcissists and heard other people’s stories that it finally all made sense. Now I want to pay it forward and help others too. Thank you so much for your insightful response. ❤
This is soo true. I have spent the last few years of my life OBSESSIVELY researching narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy, in a desperate attempt to understand what was done to me. To say I have an online PhD would be an UNDERSTATEMENT🙌 I could be a substitute for Dr Ramani at this point😂
Been there. Just coming out of it….
This is so true thank you for sharing that ❤️
Being with a narcissist is like dating identical twins. You never know which twin you are dating at any given moment,the good one or the evil one.
My ex husband was an addict and a narcissist and i can relate to all the things she's expressing
I’m sorry you experienced that too.
I can't get past her complete beauty, inside and out. I also was raised by narcissists and then married (now divorced from) a sociopath. life is such a head trip.
She is seriously so gorgeous
Same, this is one of the stories that hit every single one of my traumas, raised by narcissists, married a sociopath, divorced and now I’m married with a beautiful family, a peaceful home, a college education and a job I love. Going back to school too for a doctorate’s since it’s always been a dream of mine.
@@Lowdermoomoo I’m very happy for you. Congratulations, honey. ❤
Isn’t it…
It seriously is. I hear you about marrying a sociopath
This was great. If you've never been with a narcisist it's almost impossible to describe how insane you feel, and how hard it is to know whats real.
So are 100% right!
💯💯💯💯
Narcissist = a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. I guess I’m an narcissist. This word is used by bitter women who couldn’t control an man
@@johnpeters1053 That’s exactly what a narcissist would say. Congrats on exposing yourself 😘
@@itsjust_deanna 🤣😂😂🤣😂 Exactly
I’m currently going through a separation/divorce from a narcissist and your story has brought me many tears but has also brought me some strength. I hope I can be as strong as you one day. Thank you, Deanna, for sharing your story.
This is exactly why I wanted to share. I want people who are going through similar things to know there is hope and you can make it out. Stay strong and keep going 🙏🏼♥️✨
Yesss same!!! ❤❤❤
Deanna says at the end that she hopes her daughter doesn’t “end up like her”, but, I have to say…. She’s seems like a strong, smart, capable and powerful woman. She had to have great mental strength to get through all that. I see a great example of what a good person is. I bet her daughter does, too. ❤
Thank you I appreciate it so much 🙏🏼❤️
Her trauma kept her waiting for someone else to rescue her every time she was hurt and abused. I am glad she finally came to her own rescue. Well told story!
Absolutely spot on
💯% and she seems like a beautiful person who's been through some of the ugliest things.
I've been there and I think her brain was pretty much scrambled. I left after being in her situation. I got through it by hanging out with positive people and watching comedy. I filled my time with laughter. I still don't date because a narcissist will never stop
I had an affair w/ someone I believe to be narcissistic. I feel for you just as I felt for his wife. He made me feel like we had a special connection but really when push came to shove he wasn’t going to leave his wife. I feel u r that wife and I am not in competition or envious of u. I pray from both of u to grow…. To know when people r loving u in a possessive way vs a unconditional way. And for the narcissist, to know the difference between attention and true love.
This is so key!
Deanna is breaking generational curses and setting a new course for herself and her daughter. I hope her life just keeps getting better and better❤
I’m trying to 🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna nothing in this world is going to stop you. I'm sorry about so many things. I hope one day you get to know the true Christ. A toxic church can be very destructive and a good one can be very healing.
You are so intelligent and beautiful. I hope one day you can use these horror stories to help others heal.
Thank you for sharing.
You can do this your so beautiful and God has a plan for you
It's hard
@@itsjust_deanna ❤❤❤
My wife and I separated about 6 months ago. 15 years together. 2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with NPD and your video gave me insight into the negative effects I had on her. I hate the way I am but I am afraid I am stuck like this.
The most important thing is that you recognize it. Seek therapy, work on being better. You can do it 🙏🏼
Being aware is a great start and admitting it even on here is good too. My mother was a covert… she didn’t know what had her so f’d up. If I were you I’d go and get delivered at church… it’s the demon Jezebel. It’s demons that are controlling your body and your God given soul is pushed down so they can live the way they want to.
My mother couldn’t handle what I was saying about it she will herself to die. 2 weeks later.
I revealed things she did and didn’t realize I was able to put the story together.
She definitely had a demon and she had been tormented many years. She was an orphan at 14yr had to sleep with men to survive, her 3 sisters joined a cult… lots of demonic influences. And soul ties.
Get delivered baptized and read the Bible everyday all day.
Good and evil can’t exist in the same body.
✝️🙏🏽
Mankind aka society doesn’t have the final say about something they didn’t create.
Go to God he’s your owners manual!!
Society belongs to Satan so of course they will say you can’t be healed. They have no clue about JESUS!
Therapy, maybe medication and don't get 8nto another relationship until you get better
Seek treatment and stay out of relationships
One of the most beautiful people you have interviewed both inside and out. A truly inspirational story for so many people to learn from. Thanks for sharing Deanna
Thank you so incredibly much for those kind words 🙏🏼✨♥️
How he managed to convince her she isn't beautiful is beyond me. Even with her childhood and her mindset, the very first thing I noticed in this video was how gorgeous she is. I thought it throughout the whole video, she's so so pretty. Everything about her is beautiful, and I'm so glad she can see that about herself now.
Thank you. Most importantly I’ve learned there is so much more than that. ❤
@@itsjust_deanna Absolutely there is, your inner strength is the most beautiful thing about you, it shines through and makes your surroundings lighter. Congratulations for getting yourself through everything, it sure wasn't easy.
@@monysugardogs8959 Thank you 🙏🏼
Everybody tells me this too, but I disagree.
That's what men like that do. They always pick the most beautiful, strong, intelligent, creative, and talented, good hearted women. That's their specialty. And they play mind games, gaslight, and twist all we say because they can't communicate, and tell us we're the problem. It's all our fault. They hate our whole family and we're just like them but they only love us. I never was taught that people can and will do this to people they"love". Nobody taught me, that the one person you trust me than anyone else, and are supposed to be protected by could do things like that. Now I know the truth. And you can only recognize these things in others if you've been through it all yourself. I hate this world, not just because of the greed, the hate, and the broken systems. It's because for some reason, a person can be screaming at the top of their lungs in a crowded place and nobody cares to help. They only point, laugh, and judge, and join in with the abusers. Treat us like we're crazy. And he always used the word, "dillusional", which was not in my vocabulary. Now I know, the only people that do have that word in theirs and use it, are the type that traits attention from themselves, and then it to others. 😢
There are famous women this happens to also. Sharon stone. Shania twain. Sandra bullock. And they also cheat and bring stuff back to us, when we're being loyal and not cheating. 😢 it's the hardest thing to keep yourself, I'm but a shell now. Just because the outside is gorgeous, doesn't mean we're not tainted. Please remember this. ❤❤❤
@@WillBlindYouWithLight I completely get what you are saying. It’s all so true especially the part about people watching instead of helping. That’s why I keep speaking out about all this. I want people to be aware of what is going on and how deeply it affects people. The more educated people are the more they are willing to help. Unless they are part of the problem too of course.
Anyone who has dated a narcissist understands. Stay strong! You are amazing!
I appreciate your kindness 💖
Melania Trump?
I dated a narcissist when I was 18-21back in the 90's. I was very naive and also low self-esteem. He was handsome, outgoing, told me I was pretty, etc... but he was very possessive, took my virginity, played games, always accused me of lying (when he was the liar), threatened to commit suicide if I left him, hired people to watch me, etc... He made me believe that his happiness was wrapped up in me. I was able to get out of the relationship finally when some friends did an intervention. It's a miracle that he didn't show up with a gun to kill me because he was capable, I shudder to realize. I was so naive. My friend took me for group counseling at the battered woman's shelter. That's how I began to heal from it because I was learning that this is not all that uncommon for people to suffer from abuse in relationships.
@@HeedGodsWord thank God you got out! Best of luck to you. I really hope you can finally find some peace and contentment now that you are free. Just keep going, keep believing in yourself and never give up on yourself. Try to remember the manipulative ploys that were used to gain favor and get things, whatever it was that he took from you. Whatever it was, you can get it back and more. Take care of yourself. First. 💛🥀💜
@@teressamckinnie6878 Aw, thank you for your kind words! That is so true that I should not forget the manipulative ploys because I have encountered it a few times in people and my red flags go up. Thank the Lord, because I am very happy to say that I have found healing in Jesus Christ. Took me 20 years to finally surrender to the gospel that saves. I never knew I was lost until the Lord convicted me by His word and He delivered me....I mean, He really delivered me from all the junk I was carrying for years that cost me a divorce and never having kids. Now, I have a godly husband who knows he has to answer to God for how he treats me. (And the same for me too!) God's been very good to me.
You seem wise, I bet you've experienced a few things. Take care!
Can so well relate and truly empathize with you ... having a narcissist as a partner is a living pain not many can understand. More power and prayers your way from Pakistan. ♥︎
Thank you so incredibly much ❤🙏🏼✨
I was raised by a narcissist, then spent 26 years married to one before finally getting out. Then quickly found myself in a relationship with another one. I’m finally narc free, and alone. The healing needed from living with a narcissist is an ongoing process, and I expect I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life. I found the best answers came from HG Tudor’s channel, here on TH-cam. I highly recommend his videos, they were most helpful to me beginning this journey. Narcissists are just the WORST people, and they destroy so many lives. Thank you for this video, I’m so happy for this lovely lady now that she’s out.
☮️💖🙏
Thank you so much for sharing and your kind words . I’m sending you so much love and continued healing ♥️🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna right back atcha! 💖😊🙏
‘You have to forgive people who aren’t sorry’. Wow. No truer words spoken.
If not you will never be able to move forward.
This made me cry when she said it but it’s so hard
For me that seems impossible. But the older I get, the more this statement is true
Easier said than done 👍
@@maryelyearick7572 For sure.
Her childhood groomed her to be abused. Even though he was horrible, it was familiar to her. I’m so happy she got her life & she’s still working on herself.❤
Yup the right wing Christians are the real groomers despite them screaming that word at everyone else
Can you please explain how?
@@sweetcaroline7107 most times we marry people with similar characteristics (unconsciously) because it feels familiar & we grow comfortable with the feeling quickly
@@theshytshow2159 You hit the nail on the head. It wasn’t until I was out of it and looking back that I realized how normal the dysfunction was.
You put it perfectly. Her childhood did groom her to be abused. I have lived that life a thousand times and I still struggle. It’s the utter disbelief that your flesh and blood could be your biggest enemy and downfall. It’s a hard pill to swallow and a heavy load to bear.
As I sat here listening to her story it shook me to my soul. Brought tears to my eyes. So glad to see she's in a better place now. I've been there and I'm still on my journey back.
Thank you so much, I’m glad you are as well 🙏🏼
What an amazing inspiring woman. Sounds like she has broken generational trauma and I wish the best for her and her daughter. ❤
Thank you so much ♥️
How does someone turn out to be so nice after going through such horrible childhood and younger years is beyond me. I am wishing her all the best ❤
I would say GOD!!! Just like everyone no the difference between night and day! Just like Satan exist GOD does as well. He created everything and everyone. He has no beginning or ending. The Alpha and Omega. Jesus is coming soon.
it might be pessimistic, but tbh I think she's a narc. She shaped the story to avoid certain things you can infer she was doing. The same way she describes the husband and mother doing when talking to others.
A key to me is looking from the daughter's perspective. Did she ever do what was best for her daughter? f no. Oh I'm staying with this abusive narc because of my daughter? Remember before the daughter was born she used a different excuse?
She cares about her daughter in so far as it affects how she looks to other people. She wanted things from that relationship and didn't care if it affected someone else so long as she could make it appear she wasn't being selfish. Like any narcissist.
So the answer I would guess is she's not such a nice person.. she is a narc, a product of other narcs, and unless she is self aware and counteracting that behavior she is as bad as any of them. The irony on narcissism is that narcs hate other narcs more than anything, and they completely miss the irony because everyone believes they're a good person. That's why there's so much evil in the world, all humans are innately blind to their own evil. Even if people claim to want to be good, how can they be.. as far as they know, they are.
Nah . Don’t bring a sky daddy into it
@@brwynn Daddy God has and continues to help me through so much. He got me to safety from a narcissist. A junkie who had physical abused me.
Because you don’t want to be anything like the son of a bitch who abused you. But in the end it screws you to be so empathetic and you have to learn a bit of the coldness that you’ve never wanted to be or have in your life again. And you honestly feel sorry for the miserable ppl who do this to you because you know they are sick. It’s a real weird dynamic. All you want to do is give & feel love that you never got.
The number 1 thing when leaving a narcissist or abuser: Dont tell them that you are leaving! Make a plan, protect money, keep evidence of abuse before they know what you plan to do!
Leaving is the most dangerous time in these relationships. It is when they snap and could even kill you.
Yes because if not they will make u react record keep track of your reactions and use it against u
Agreed
Thats how i left w 6$, i realized i dont need nothing just me alive for my son
❤
Don’t tell him that your daughter told you things.
My goodness, she is stunningly beautiful!
Edit: that was just my initial thought in the beginning of her story but wow! She's been thru SO SO much! Strong and beautiful. Impressive she can still stand so tall n have such a strong presence and speaking voice. The confidence
Thank you so much ♥️🙏🏼
A great interview. The picture - with her arms crossed, and a determined look, made me smile. She's strong, battle tested, I have confidence in her. I bet she's a great mother. She's beautiful, as well. I hope she gets the life she deserves ( I bet she will )...
Thank you so very much. I love the life I have now and I’m grateful every single day ♥️🙏🏼
she’s a soldier for not telling her mom so that she wouldn’t feel bad. i would have done a whole monologue. like girl you left me to the WOLVES
Me too 😂
OMG girl yes, she said they lived on a lake too. Seems like they were in a better situation. “Mama, save me”.
no but same! lol! Deanna is such a sweetheart! Thinking of everyone but herself!
😂 Right! And I’m bringing ALL the receipts too 😤….TF lol
She is so grounded and strong. Dealing with a narcissistic partner is extremely exhausting. Especially when children are involved.
Tell me about it its absolute madness 😫
Currently there are no issues because I haven't started dating and trying to heal first. But I know once I do start dating it's gonna go downhill
But you CHOSE your partner!
@@PardonMyPresence maybe look up info on narcissists
@@ms.drenay621It always takes 2. You should look up vulnerable narcissists as well.
What a lovely human being this woman is. Beautiful soul
This story is everything! ❤ Thank you for sharing! Most people don’t know the damage that occurs from all the character assassination that a narcissist does. They are so wonderful in everyone’s eyes. That is by design. They play that role all too well, all the while having everyone think the worst of you. If you reach out, you are considered the crazy one because others can’t see past the nice things that the narcissist has done for them, so you end up appearing ungrateful or prove the nasty things they have said about you true. One big thing that she mentioned was the public embarrassment and having others- their family and friends- join in to embarrass you. The fact that she used the word “punishment” was such a dead ringer. When you don’t do as they say/want they PUNISH you. You don’t know what’s real from the fake because everything about them is a lie. Anyone who likes/ loves you, they hate or find problems with them. They’ll even go as far to put your kids up against you. It’s so sad.
Everything you said is 100% true. It’s clear you have experience dealing with a true narcissist. People throw that term around so much that it’s lost all meaning. But you know what the real deal is like. So we can spread the word and warn others what to look for. Thank you so much for commenting 🙏🏼♥️
@@itsjust_deanna Unfortunately eh🫤. You are right, that word gets thrown around and watered down so much to where it takes the true meaning out of the word. Narcissism is an art. I did not grow up the way you did, but there were DEFINITELY similarities such as the put downs which contributed to an extreme lack of self respect and confidence. I say true narcissism is an art because it is not by mistake that they find people like that. They can point them out in a crowd and they prey on them! They never search for those who have strong foundations. They are like energy vampires. The only way they get their strength is to siphon it from the weak. For example, they may lack self confidence. Instead of doing the necessary steps to build it by working on themselves, oddly the quick fix is to damage someone else’s, then compare. A narcissist’s thinking afterwards-“See, I have self-confidence issues, but they really have issues, so that means nothing is wrong with me because I’m doing better than them.” The constant need to compare and compete is wild. No one is above competition. Immediately they get a boost. It’s an instant fix! They need you to always feel needed, because truthfully they need others/ you. That’s the only way they can cope with what is going on inside themselves. Then there is isolation. They isolate you from every facet of their lives because you know the real them, NOT THE CRAP THEY HAVE TOLD OTHERS AROUND THEM. They’ll make you feel unworthy around their friends or whoever, or make up a reason of why you don’t need to be around. Truthfully, you will put a hole in every lie they have told. They siphon what they need from you, charge themselves up, then deal with the world outside.
Let me make clear for those on what punishment is. It isn’t physical at first. The physical only comes as an intimidation when you corner them and they can’t run from the truth. They study you to see what you like first. Say you love talking to them on the phone. If you don’t do what is asked, they don’t answer or call your for days. Another example, say there is somewhere you always wanted to visit and you’ve made preparations to go together. If they are upset with you, they’ll still go. They just choose someone else to go with and brag about it to you…. Later on when you do something right, they’ll take you. It makes you believe that they aren’t that bad or that nothing is wrong because they still did something nice for you, but the rationale behind it is, I MADE THEM MAD or I’M THE PROBLEM because if they were truly bad they wouldn’t have taken me. Same for the phone calls. Once they do call, it’s excessive, so you develop the same rationale. The only way I can describe it is as an in-house human pet.
It’s crazy how trauma can break your mind and leave it open for others to prey.
It is! It’s a vicious cycle that will never end until we break it.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
On the same note its crazy how other people learn to be predators that pick out the vulnerable prey. And how they can be so evil
This needs to become a popular quote, and to end with something like "don't tell what trauma you've been through, they could use it to hurt you more"
I swear!!
Nothing's more beautiful than seeing a woman who's been through narcissistic abuse, shine
Thank you! I agree and I celebrate them so much!
💯
Well said. 👍🏽💯💝🌹
Sadly, you only know this when you know the abuse yourself.
For you to recognize the absolute beauty in this means you’ve probably experienced it yourself.
You are probably a badass woman warrior too, Ruby.
She’s dressed like a soldier and she is a hero to her daughter.
I was lucky enough to have great parents and a wonderful childhood. But, my life mirrored Deanna’s from the point of meeting her husband. I was with a narcissistic abusive man for 16 years who did so many of the exact same things. I now have PTSD. Thank you for sharing this!
I’m so glad you got out of it though. I hope you are able to heal and have love and happiness in your life ♥️🙏🏼✨
I hope Deanna's story can inspire you the way she inspires me. Stay strong.
Deannna Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You are a beautiful young, strong woman. You are an absolute super role model for your daughter.. Peace and love ❤
Thank you so much for your kindness 🙏🏼♥️
I am a PTSD therapist at a domestic violence/sexual assault crisis center and your story is one that I will share with my clients. You so eloquently describe how people become vulnerable to abusers. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for your bravery. and thank you for fighting to leave so your daughter and the child in you can heal. You are amazing
@@itsjust_deanna Wow...that is extremely thoughtful. I sent you an email
Can people just have traits of narcissism? Sometimes it rubs off from The narcissist who is in your life. That's what happened to me! It took a long time to heal however, I did pick up a lot of his narcissistic traits and I have to be very mindful because that's not who I am.
@@winros Absolute everyone can have narcissistic traits. But the difference is that a true narcissist has almost all the traits and it’s the core of who they are.
@@itsjust_deanna Thank you! ✌🏼
@@winros everyone can have symptoms of most disorders, but for a diagnosis, the person has to have a certain number of symptoms/criteria that the DSM-V lists. Also, what most don't know is that cluster B personality disorders, like npd, are usually a trauma response from childhood and sometimes is treatable. The therapist, though, almost always has to be very skilled in DBT before progress can be made
How she did not use substances to escape her reality is a miracle. What a well adjusted person especially after all of that. The chances of a person with her life experiences turning out to be this smart, lovely, well mannered, empathetic, sane, and responsible are very minute. Good for her! I feel so awful about her as a child and having to go through so much toxic abuse. We need to monitor foster & adopted children better as a community. Something needs to happen..
Thank you so much for your kind comment. Because I knew both my parents had substance abuse problems I always had a fear of becoming addicted myself. The odds of it happening are very high when you have addicted parents. So I always stayed away from substances.
my narcissistic husband blames my drug addiction for his behavior… I use BECAUSE of his behavior!! but a narcissist will never take accountability for their actions. my husband’s abuse has scarred me for life.
No lie
@Deanna You were super smart to avoid substances, but I currently still struggle. I'm trapped, but planning my escape 🙏🏾
@@ab7523 Same here, Sister! We will preservere! Please start working out a master plan & escape! It's what I'm doing
I'm in recovery. Been clean for almost 8 months. And part of my history with drug abuse involved alot of narcissistic traits. My wife and kids suffered greatly and the hands of the man I used to be, and I just want to say I'm elated that this woman has found herself after so much life had thrown at her. I grew up alot like her. I'm so sorry.for all the horrible things I've done, and I hope I can help people on like this woman in the future, because it's too late for a lot of people I hurt.
I’m so glad you recognized how you were hurting people and made the decision to change. That’s not easy for a lot of people to do. You can’t change the things you did in the past. But you can continue to do better today and people will see how much you changed. Wishing you all the best ♥️🙏🏼
If you can overcome a narcissist you can get threw anything but you cant do it alone you need the Lord to help you through, Amen
Why cant i do it alone
I started crying when she was speaking about meeting her biological mother and telling her that her life was good, just to protect her mothers feelings.
I wish her all the best in life going forward. She deserves it. ❤
Thank you 💖
I know, such a heartbreak of a story. I hope she finds happiness ❤ She is such a sweet person and gorgeous looks
same here, you are so strong and I hope that you stay with with people who make you happy 🥰🥰🥰
@@itsjust_deanna that moment when you mentioned not hurting your biological mom really hit home. I have a good relationship with my mom… and I would never want to be cause of her pain. Like her ended up with a narcissist and thought abuse was normal.
To this day I just want to protect her and not let her know any hurt.
@@FlowerGrl20 No matter what we always get to protect those that we love ❤️
It's so wild to me how you truly can never tell somebody's struggles. This woman is perfect, she looks perfect, she speaks perfect. And to know when she was a child she was sad, scared and isolated just breaks my heart. Ultimately these struggles must have really created a diamond because I can't see how anybody wouldn't love this woman. I love her.
This is the comment I was looking for. I agree. Love her
Nobody is perfect that’s the only thing i disagree with
Yes, she is very well read and seems very articulate in her speech to have not been educated. I see her parents hiding them inside to cover up the abuse...not wanting the kids to speak to anyone. I don't think it was "racism", or why adopt kids of other races? In this case it sounds like the boyfriend and his parents were the ones who were the racists..
Just a note for Deanna-
I want you to know I believe you for what it’s worth. Every word of your story is 100% relatable to me from adoption, a bi-racial background & being put down such a long time it makes you wonder who you’re looking at in the mirror. Listening to you, I recognize that tone, I could hear the stress in your voice re-experiencing the madness to find your words & I was right there w/ you on the details. I know that feeling of searching for the right words to explain the unexplainable b/c what is felt is so much more horrific than words can convey. For me, explaining & explaining, not believed, invalidated, triangulated & then totally isolated is such a nasty additional layer to psychological abuse.
You did a great job telling your story. I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer. All I know so far is narcissistic abuse is uniquely punishing, de-stabilizing, soul crushing in ways I never could have imagined & the damage caused isn’t discussed in relatable terms nearly as much as it needs to be. I wish you all the very best.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story. I’m sorry for everything you have also endured. But I’m glad you were able to relate to my story. I think knowing you aren’t alone helps with healing too. That’s why I wanted to share my story. Sending you love ❤
Deanna, I watched this and as a result of how you presented yourself, think you must be one of the strongest human beings on earth. Yours has been a hard journey, yet, out of the enduring, nothing can ever damage your heart and a journey into this new joy. Your wisdom also cannot be exchanged for any formal education. You have a PhD in life... So, just know that you are admired. Feel all of our good and happy wishes inside. And, thank you so much for helping countless others, as you surely have. No need to acknowledge me.. Just continue your path!
Thank you so incredibly much though ❤
I always try to prepare myself to hear an absolute horror story as soon as the person says they went into foster care or was adopted. The system is either totally overwhelmed or run by absolute perverted pedophiles. I think its 50/50.
I think its unfortunately both. Lackluster foster parents are accepted at this point because our society has gone through such moral decay, more and more (women especially, which is sick) are caring less and less about babies and children..Which creates broken adults who bave no good coping skills. So, we end up with a world full of instant gratification wrapped addiction just trying to feel better at all! If you didnt have abuse, you cant truly understand why someone would throw obvious warning bells out the window just to have a break from your head..
This is how we create addicts, abusers, murderers....Its infrastructure gets built between 0-5 yrs, then crafted through the rest of adolescence...Its a moral and family unit issue. But look... We've pissed on the truth and value of family unit roles and angrily ripped God from everything. Its pretty clear what the problem is. But, have we become too selfish to change it?
@itsfreshitsanne I completely agree. My brother and I were adopted and we were the very lucky few who got a great home and loving parents. It breaks my heart others weren't given this opportunity, but its due to many factors including what you stated. I hope to one day adopt children and give them all the home they deserve.
Correct. I was in foster care back in the 70s, and my foster father always had his hand down my pants...
I work in social services. Social workers are overwhelmed, there isn’t adequate funding, many of the people drawn to fostering and adoption have ulterior motives, and the few people that really care for the wellbeing of the children are quickly burned out.
@Alexis H I believe it...there needs to be a fully funded system with extremely high oversight. It can happen if you have the right people in place...
I thought this young lady was around 25 years old, and she's in her 40's? If she ever sees this- honey: your genetics are amazing, there is nothing in your lineage to be ashamed of- you're a sensitive articulate and beautiful woman! I hope you have a great life!
Thank you so much ❤
Absolutely! I was thinking the same. Such a beautiful and resilient lady.
Wow she is in her 40’s!?? I thought she was 27. Genetics no matter the race always plays a factor. And not living a fast life. Eating right and going to bed at a decent hr. You’re beautiful Deanna!!! I hate that you had to endure a lot of this. Or any child for this matter.
@DeAnna omg! Your story is so riveting, sad, and brave. I pray for continued strength amd confidence.
Yeah I thought she was 25 too! She’s my age!
I'm only 25 minutes into the interview and I'm so triggered because I have been through multiple relationships with narcissists and this is all so relatable. I'm trying to hold back tears. Its been years since I've been out and I'm still not fully healed and may never be fully healed. Narcissists really break your spirit. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my story. The thing I have found is that everyone who has dealt with a narcissist can relate because they all act exactly the same. I hope you are in a place of healed happiness today ❤🙏🏼
Some of us are DA’s stay isolated and away from the risk of being a magnet
I have seen several videos Mark has put out and I have never commented on any of them until now. Your story resonated with me because I too had a narcissistic parent and then a partner who I was with for 13 years. Unless someone who has been with a narcissist, they will have no idea how hard it is to leave. I commend your bravery and resilience and wish you and your daughter the best in this life!! ❤🙏🏼 Namaste
Thank you so incredibly much. Wishing you all the best ♥️🙏🏼
The PTSD of narcissistic abuse runs deep. Causes us to make poor decisions based on a false reality. Narcissistic people make their victims dependent on them. The victim relies on the narc to stop the pain that the narc created. Its a twisted co-dependency that is difficult to break.
SOOOOO DEEP 😢UGH
this is so true and my reality 😞right now 😊
@@cupcakesimbamoyo ❤❤❤
True facts
That’s what people don’t understand. That’s why it’s so damaging when people victim blame or say Why didn’t you just leave? To domestic violence victims and survivors.
This woman is an amazing storyteller. I was hooked the whole time. She is extremely inspiring.
DITT0 !!!!❤❤❤❤
Me too. I thought I'll check it out for few minutes but I watched her whole story.
You are such a beautiful person inside & out. My first husband was narcissistic, and unless anyone has been in that position on the receiving end, it’s hard to describe because that toxic behavior really starts to mess with you & it’s hard to break from & heal. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hugs & love to you ❤
You are so right. People don’t understand the toll it takes on your mental health. You stop trusting yourself because they make you feel like you aren’t seeing what you are seeing and experiencing what you know deep down you are. It takes so long to heal and find yourself again. I hope you are doing much better now. Thank you so much for the kind words 🙏🏼♥️
this interview made me realize, even if you cant get away from the narcissist, it becomes a lot easier to deal with as soon as you achieve to break the control. The more you are weak against the controlling behavior, the more you keep victimizing yourself to the abuser. i have dealt with narcissists all thru my life myself, even to the point making a narc out of myself at times (thank God i have the gift of empathy, so it blocks the narcissistic tendencies to win)... so im just trying to get enlightened and perhaps be helpful.
the interview touched me very deeply by the way. i get her, i understand what she has been through.
Thank you so incredibly much. It takes a lot to build yourself up and break free, to be able to handle everything they will throw at you once they realize they are losing control of you. But it’s so worth it, to be so strong you do things you never imagined 🙌🏽❤✨
When you’re done with a narcissist NEVER announce it to them! Behave as if nothing has happened and ESCAPE AND GO TOTAL NO CONTACT to another state if possible (there, I just described my escape fantasy to you)
The best thing to do if possible.
You can escape!!
Yup. That’s exactly what I had to do myself years ago. He was going to end up k*lling me, or I was going to unalive myself. He was horrible and obsessive.
@@goblinfood9786. I married someone like that. I had family who seemed to think I should just wait for him to die, so I could get something out of it, financially. They didn’t know that the chances of surviving the abuse and someone squeezing you for all your energy and labor are low. By the time I got out, I didn’t even know who I was. Getting out of the black hole was the best choice I ever made! He was not about to let me get out alive, with “his” money, none of which he would ever have had without my labor and endless support. If someone doesn’t value you, leave if it can. It’s not worth it!
Unless theres a child invovled and the plot thickens 😢
Deanna has no idea how her story will impact others. What a beautiful soul. God bless her!
Thank you 🙏🏼
I pray so many prayers over this women. For her strength mentally and physically and for protection. What a warrior. I am so proud of her, to over come such heavy obstacles, just gives me tears of joy. My step sons mother is a narcissists and I just pray he doesn’t turn into one and heals from all the emotional abuse she has and will put him through until she changes (if she ever does but God creates miracles everyday and I put it all into his hands.)
God Bless you and your daughter. ❤
Thank you so incredibly much for your kind words and also for how you are looking out for your son ♥️
This broke my heart and almost had me in tears. My mom went through the same thing. My mom had the same mindset "Wait until they turn 18". If any of you relate to her story, please listen. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT. Your children know and see the abuse that is going on. My mom didn't see the light until my sister and I told her that we rather be without a dad than see her be hurt every day. Honestly, it is better to be alone than have your child in that harmful situation because 9/10 times the cycle will continue as we see.
I’m so sorry you and your family went through this. You are 100% right! As parents we think we are doing the right thing staying with an abuser to our kids can have “Both parents” “A normal life” etc. But we are just teaching them that abuse is normal and acceptable so the cycle continues and they end up in abusive relationships. We have to break the cycle and show them that it’s never ok to let anyone abuse them. I have made it my mission to enforce that in my daughter. To never accept anyone who treats her badly. Even if it’s just a friend. We teach them from our experiences ♥️🙏🏼
I've been nodding my head the entire time she described the narcissist. Spot on.
Videos like this are important. This is so common. People need to learn what to do when in these situations. Being with a narcissist is dangerous and you can't just leave like it's with a normal person.
Thank you. I just wanted to share so I can help bring awareness about these things.
@@itsjust_deannayou did a great job. Very relatable
@@lisapizza6494 Thank you ❤️
@Broski Snowski how do you tell
@@janiahhill7758 Brosick Sosick is Trolling, just ignore him.
Thank you so much for telling your story! I lived with a narcissist for 33 years before I saw the light. Comes from my mom, my childhood. Bullying at school, no self-esteem and then meeting this man that i looked up to. Toxic from the start but I thought if I try really hard things get better. They didn't. Tension and stress all the time. And when I was about ready to leave he would change instantly and become the nicest man again. Looking back I still wonder how I got sane out if this. My biggest regret is not sticking up for my kids more. They grew up like I did and worse. My oldest went into addiction to forget and I almost lost him. He is clean now for 8 years and my other son 6 years. So proud of them! But the thought of what my kids went through is the only thing that gets me to cry every time.
I am proud of getting my life back after him and at 50 years of age I met this beautiful man. Which was scary at first because I was never used to someone being so nice. I emigrated and literally left my old life behind me. Have great contact with my boys and love them to the moon and back. I forgave everyone that caused me harm, including him. Forgiving doesn't mean you don't hold them responsible, but it allows you to move on.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s all so relatable. You truly feel like you are crazy at times. I have the same regret of not protecting my child more. But all that matters is that we are no longer in those relationships and we have better lives and relationships with our children. I hope you continue to grow and be happy 🙏🏼♥️
Deanna is stunningly beautiful. Most importantly this lady seems very kind, well spoken and self-aware. I pray her future is blessed and full of joy.
Thank you so very much 🙏🏼♥️
She is so beautiful. You never know what people go thru. I’ve learned a lot from this channel. Deanna has a heart of gold.
Hahahahahahahahahaahah you are so stupidly naive 😂
She is absolutely stunning! Serious natural beauty. The assholes in her life were most definitely jealous. 💯
I can relate to being in a relationship with a narcissist. After 23 domestic violence cases, 6 trials, 6 restraining orders, and he was sentenced to 5 years in prison, I left. The final year was the hardest because I had to file police reports against him contacting me via phone calls, letters, his family contacting me for him via emails and text messages. That final year I had to testify in 4 trials. He still continues to harass me. Because of the physical abuse I took gun safety classes. It’s not easy but getting out is worth it. My saving grace is my parents. You’re a strong mama and I’m proud of you for walking away and sharing your story.
Congratulations on getting out and on the chance for a new and better life.
Wow I can’t imagined. I’m pleased with you
I tend to substitute the word ‘proud’ with please bc of my faith. I’m happy for you tht you got out
why do you women choose men like that then? is it hard to just choose a guy who is nice? smh, always the same with women.. you admire k1llers as well. it's pathetic
At this point I hope he kills me, 9 police reports with photos, tro and all and it still won’t end. I’m tired. My heart sings for your happy ending.
@@hollig9963 Im sorry to hear that, don't you have someone you can reach out to? Move somewhere else or such... what is stopping you from leaving? if police doesn't do anything, contact organizations that work with such cases, as well as churches or politicans - so they may give you shelter or help.
No man should act like that towards their partner..
or don't you have those type of organization in US?
I wish this beautiful, articulate, and intelligent woman much good fortune after all the difficulties that she has survived.
I'm the child of narcissistic parents as well. I was screwed up for so long. I'm in my 30s and the fog is just now starting to clear. Seeing you, and hearing your story is incredibly inspiring. Your daughter is so blessed to have you. ❤
I left my narc ex last August and I feel the brain fog. Good to hear that the fog is starting to clear out. Wonder how long it will take me ugh
Mark, no lie, this is one of your best interviews. You hardly had to aak anything but you gave this strong, intelligent, beautiful woman a platform to share this compelling story of her life, her survival and her outlook for the future.
Well done!
This is why I keep coming back to your channel. I never know who you will meet that will teach us something new, give us hope, or help us process.
Thank you, Deanna, for sharing with us your heartbreak, your triumphs and your fortitude. You are an inspiration and I hope we see more of you as an advocate and as a leader in the coming days, your light can be a positive influence in this dark world.
All the best to you and your daughter, always.
Thank you so, so much for your encouraging and kind comments. They are so appreciated and mean so much 🙏🏼
@@infinitejest.4994 Thank you so much. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this interview. When I discovered this channel and ones like it and heard other people’s stories I didn’t feel alone anymore either. I sometimes felt like I was the only one with a story like mine. But hearing from others who went through the same and made it out and are happy and healed inspired me so much. I wish you so much love and continued healing ❤️
Mark please bring her back & keep us updated on her story. Well spoken ❤ love this
Thank you ❤️
@@itsjust_deanna I can relate to all this, in one way or the other.
@@itsjust_deanna your welcome 🙂 we loved it
The moment she paused before saying her peace about her adopted mother's passing... I already knew what she was going to say. My natural Mother is a high functioning Narc. and I have told my close family and friends this same thing. As an empath it's a hard thing to express that you know in your soul... that grieving that loss is not something that exists. My Mom hasn't yet, but I truly feel this way, about when that event takes place.
It’s so surreal like you don’t even know how you are supposed to feel.
People like her deserves the world
Thank you 🙏🏼
Escaping controlling abusive parents is the perfect storm for an abusive creep to step in and "save" you from that hell because you feel there's no other way to escape. 😥
Then it becomes normal and a vicious cycle.
this has happened to me more than once. I am now 23.
Yes my story exactly! I try so hard to leave but have yet been able to!!! My friends had witnessed the abuse here recently reported it to the police! He was arrested but even from jail had he so terrified with blackmail and he told me “I won’t be locked up forever” that I ended up lying in court for him and all charges were dropped!!! The very next day I found myself living in my car and of course no family or friends he isolated me so severely that I now have nobody!!! I have no idea how to fix this!!!! I’m so happy you found your way out!!!! 🎉❤
Without love you believe you are worthless therefore leading you down a difficult road. I'm happy Deanna has found love for herself... She is beautiful inside and out. Stay blessed Deanna. Another great one Mark
You are speaking so much truth. A lack of love and support in childhood is where so many of these situations start. Thats why I had to break the cycle and create a better life for my child so she doesn’t ever end up in my shoes. Thank you for your kind words ♥️
Deanna, thank you for sharing your story. So powerful to be this vulnerable. Our stories are so similar in regard to the narcissistic ex. He was extremely possessive. He would say who are you putting that makeup on for? Why did you look at cashier like that? The control and gaslighting made me feel insane just started looking at the ground so he wouldn’t get mad at me for making eye contact with men. And true on the women texting me asking who I am. They all use the same tactics. They’re predictable and pathetic.
Wow, our stories mirror each other. They truly do all have the same pathetic MO. It only we could all send them away to live on an island together so they could gaslight and drive each other crazy. Then the rest of us could live in peace and never have to worry about encountering one 🙏🏼
This was my favorite one . I was raised by a narcissist and I kept dating narcissistic men until I stop the cycle by going to therapy… I can relate just like Deanna I’m beautiful inside and out but with a lot trauma to work through… may God bless her beautiful soul❤
You like what you like..may god give you a man you can handle.
Sending ❤
What is the 1 thing you can suggest to stop attracting narcissistic men to me?
@@vt1764 I've dated narcissists and they often manipulate you into thinking they are "nice" guys . I've even had them put me in a pedestal. Read about the characteristics and when you see the first red flag ....run . They tend to run after you and stalk but just keep running and get a restraining order if need be .
@VT, learn to love yourself. I believe this is key. We may be magnets to this disordered kind, due to being raised by them. But you will no longer fall prey to these predators once you begin to have boundaries, and self love and respect the minute they try to cross your boundaries or disrespect you. Another thing I’ve learned to do is, watch and see if a persons actions match their words. If not, that’s enough for me to move on.
When you are raised by a narcissist, you're primed to be married to a narcissist. You know nothing else. The "love" is very familiar. And, once it's exposed, you'll never forget, and you'll never go back. I wish the best for you Deanna!
Or havr kids by them
BINGO - People rather victim blame than educate themselves on this exact thing you just said.
So true, it is crazy. Once you know, you know. You can't even gave traits and be around me. I guess that's why I stay to myself.
I couldn’t agree more. Thank you ❤
@@NycRamonaNarcissist or not, when you except abuse from a person, or constantly go back to the person abusing you, you're not a victim anymore, but you're actually a participant. A victim can't control their environment, but a participant can (by leaving the person). The day a person abuses you and you decide to remain with them and not leave (unless you're a child), then you are no longer a victim. Most people stay because they are familiar with the abuse (due to how they were raised). They know the treatment is not right, but they would rather not leave the abuse in an effort to keep the fairytale (that's not real) alive.
This just blew me away. Such a beautiful humble woman struggling to make a path for herself. Really moving story of self discovery.
Thank you so incredibly much! I definitely discovered who I truly am much later in life than most people. But I’m proud of who I am today, what I’ve learned, overcome and how I can use those experiences to help others 🙏🏼
Oh my God I cried so many times during her story. I feel it came to me when I'm feeling sorry for myself about my journey with a narcissistic mother and husband but her story makes mine look like a fairytale God bless her for sharing her story and I hope she is able to live out the rest of her days in peace and tranquility
Thank you so much. All our stories and experiences are valid. I hope you have healed from what you went through ♥️🙏🏼
What an angel, walking this evil earth, broken, but still wants to be better. She is a true inspiration♥️
Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
❤❤❤❤
/Marcus
@itsjust_deanna What a beautiful woman you are! Don't listen to the lies that have followed you. You are a beautiful, amazing, creative and imaginative soul and you are worth it. I am so glad that Jesus made you. Keep living one day at a time❤
My mother was a social worker for LA county and state of CA and the horror stories I heard was ridiculous. Its always the super religious people that are the most abusive! Wishing her all the best!! She’s gorgeous ❤
Unfortunately that’s been my experience hearing these stories as well. I know that not religion doesn’t equal abuse so I don’t want anyone to think that’s what I’m saying. But I would be blind to say it’s not a common theme. I know your Mom’s job wasn’t easy and thanks so much to her for what she did ❤
@@itsjust_deanna I’m SO proud of you!!! Sending love to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us all. You’re beautiful hun and keep going!!!
@@genesis9087 Thank you so much!!!
I watch a lot a of true crime and as soon as I hear they came from a religious household I know I'm going to hear about abuse and the worst crimes.
🎯
i lived 80% of this life. I have never felt a video to my core more than this.
One of the reasons I wanted to do this video. I want people to know they aren’t alone and what they are experiencing is real. But that they can also move on and heal from it.
Best interview .. no questions just her life story that people can relate to or sympathize with. Hoping you’re in a much better space
Thank you so very much! We definitely are ♥️
I left a narcissist 4 years ago. I was told the next step for him would be to kill me. I was terrified. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so glad you made it out. Thank you for listening ❤
4 years ago, I also ran for my life. He literally threatened to kill me.
@@karenk2409 I’m so sorry! I’m glad you made it out 🙏🏼
@@itsjust_deanna I did. It took a couple of years of court cases and counseling to regain my health, but it was so worth it. Getting free of these malicious people is a gauntlet we need to walk, but there is peace and health on the other side, my friend!
When i left my ex he fought me endlessly thro the courts, trying to empty every cent we had in the bank. I got a will written, as i expected he would kill me. I had our 6 yr old son, that his mother wanted. It was hell. We made it out alive.
She's had it so tough and you can tell she's nice person with a lot of hurt, I just really hope that she gets to live happily and peacefully from now on. Be extra kind to her if you ever meet her she deserves it!
Thank you I truly appreciate your kind words ❤
I believe that's how we should treat every person, because we simply don't know who they are, or what they have been through, or going through.
@@itsjust_deanna You, my friend, are a diamond, in a mountain of rock. You're beautiful, you sparkle, I can't stop looking at you, and I know first hand how hard narcissism makes a person. I wish I could offer hope about meeting someone, I know it is possible, but it sure feels like standing on the sidewalk in front of the Empire State building, and looking up, when the only place worth getting to, is the very tip. And, I'm just talking anyone, friends even. I don't want to talk to anyone in my family, I went dark on all my friends, overnight, any work I am experienced in is surrounded by people, so I feel I can't do those jobs, and that leaves me with no work value.... ALL narcissists. .... It's our culture. I think NOT being a narcissist is a personal spiritual achievement.
The only advice I can give, is to really learn what it means to be comfotable in your own skin, to not need anyone else to validate you, to not need a person you can be coupled with and say you love them, in order to feel love. You are from nature, that's where your healing will start and end. And, only Truth shall set you free. Something a narcissist never experiences.
Good luck, princess. Lots of love.
Peace
@@blackopal3138 Completely agree ❤️
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Oh Deanna, I am so proud of you! You shared your story with the world. and I know doing this took a lot of determination and courage. You have overcome more than most of us could bear, but despite it all your beauty, strength, and courage still shine through. I hope you never doubt yourself, ever again! You did the best you could before you left your narcissistic ex, but you did summon the strength to finally leave and make a better life for yourself and your daughter. What an achievement! Bravo, Deanna, bravo! I wish you all the happiness this world has to offer, You deserve so much peace and happiness. I hope the coming days will bring all good things to you. Be safe, be well, and have a beautiful rest of your life! Merry Christmas, beautiful lady!
What a strong and amazing person she is...wow. You should be extremely proud of yourself for making it out. My goodness. No one deserves that life....its truly heartbreaking hearing your story. But seeing you smile at the end and knowing you made it out and are moving forward makes my heart feel happy. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us... you are so damn strong.
Thank you so incredibly much ❤
As an adoptee with abusive adoptive parents, this really resonated with me on so many levels. The isolation, the constantly being torn down, the church garbage, one parent covering for the other's abuse. Even not feeling bad when my dad passed, and getting caught up in a narcissistic relationship.i understand so much of this
I’m so sorry you also experienced this. I hope you are at a place of happiness and healing now.
I hope things are going good for you. you deserve it. get yours.
I so get that. Both my bio parents are dead and there's not a day that oes by that I actually miss their presence. I was abused, gaslit and conditioned into constantly trying to connect to them and tolerating their spirit crushing abuse until the day they died. It took years after their deaths to even begin the "deprogramming" stage of life and start to see them in their truth... a process that is excruciatingly painful to go through. Imo, there's no shame at not feeling sad, and even feeling legit happy, when an abusive parent (finally) dies.
@@movingonandup322I felt every bit of this in my soul. I’m so sorry for what you must have endured. I wish I could give you a hug ❤
@@itsjust_deanna Awwwww... thank you so much Deanna! That means the world to me. If what I posted resonated with you due to your own abuse and/or neglect, then I am sorry for what you have gone through as well. In any event though, big virtual hugs to you Deanna and thanks again for your loving and supportive post to me!💗💟😊
Being raised by a narcissist will lead you to being a magnet to spouses that are narcissistic.
So many echos in this story. You are beautiful and this is so brave of you to share with the world. Thank you! I learned so very much from this.
Same, we even look alike
For myself it was emotional neglect. Took me a long time to understand td and parental rejection sets you up to meeting narcissistic people.
True. I did this myself
I love your story, very similar to what I went through, well done for breaking the cycle may your story inspire others stuck in the same situation ❤❤
Thank you for sharing. I grew up w a narcissistic father and the impact it had is so powerful that I didn't realize UNTIL I went to therapy. I tell people all the time that therapy saved my life. Thank you again for sharing your experience strength and hope.
That’s so true! I think a lot of us don’t realize what we truly went through until we get into therapy. I’m glad you have been able to move on from all that ♥️🙏🏼
It was interesting because my father moved us from an all white liberal middle school to the ghetto in SC. I do believe it's a terrible thing to do to a child in any situation. Thank you again. Here's to breaking those generational cycles and giving out kids a different experience. Many blessings to you and your family.
Deanna’s story hit so close to home with me. My mother and ex husband are both narcissists and I’m cleaning up the emotional mess they both made of my life. I don’t know how Deanna has the courage to be in a relationship because I’m so traumatized that I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I’m terrified to get close to anyone. The hard part with being a victim of narcissistic abuse is that most people don’t believe you since the narcissist acts like an innocent angel in front of others. When a victim tells you their story please believe them no matter how much of a good person the perpetrator is.
Such a strong message here. I’m so sorry for everything you have endured. If you aren’t in therapy already, it truly does help. I’m sending you so much love and wishes for healing ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for the well wishes Deanna and I send them right back at you. I’ve been in therapy for 10 months now and I don’t know what I’d do without it. The catalyst that got me into therapy was finding out my husband was a fentanyl addict. A narcissist under the influence of fentanyl is scary and it turned him into an absolute monster. I don’t miss him one bit and have realized how precious peace is. You are very courageous to have come forth to tell your painful story, but it’s not all painful. You seem to be on the right track to living a life free of toxicity.
Same , Narc mom and Narc recent ex husband. He also acts like the good guy. He makes me feel crazy but so does my mom.
@@ZFern9390 I’m sorry. Just know that you aren’t and what you are experiencing is real and your feelings are valid.
Were your mother and ex partner formally diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder? Or are you just making this up?