So this comment is from a conservative, christian woman here... While I think it's wonderful to have clearly defined roles, I want to share with you, Etsee, that I thought I could do everything you were saying at one point in my life if I decided to just be a homemaker. And maybe if I didn't have kids, I could be the only one to do chores and finances and cook and do errands around the house. But once you have children it drastically changes everything. If you want your home to have even close to the same level of cleanliness and organization post children, your husband is (most likely) going to have to take on chores around the house, especially during the 3 months youre recovering from giving birth. Please remember that you're speaking from a perspective of someone who has yet to have children. Even if you're a mom who doesn't work, one person cannot do all the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, the picking up trash, the childcare, the finances, all while being sleep deprived and still have time for self care and looking put together. This may work for you right now as a childless couple, but I would caution you about speaking to mothers and tell them that this is good when it could be detrimental. If a man worked full time and lived by himself he would have to take care of chores. It's not wrong that a husband should contribute to the household especially after having children. Infact it's good for young boys to see their dad doing chores too. Knowing how to do chores and getting in the habit of keeping things clean is something that's necessary no matter your gender.
I absolutely agree with u..having kids changes everythg. As much as we want to do it all it is tiring if you are doing it all by yrslf..eventually you will break dwn.
This is a solid fact!!! If she were to apply this concept moving forward with kids, basically everything her husband does now would stay 100% the same but her work load would increase BY 100% for each child and her sleep,rest, time to herself decreases BY 100% with each child. She’s sweet and young and honestly just doesn’t know yet!
As a homeschool mother of 3 I have to say I still do pretty much all of the things around the house, garden and homestead, but my husband often stops for groceries on his way home from work, and I also handed off all of the finances to him after the birth of our third child. He is behind a computer at work all day and often has free time between customers to take care of it all online. And when I am in the the 3 mo postpartum that you spoke of he also helps a lot. But even though I take care of all the domestic chores, I must add, that when my husband gets home from work, the house is not always spotless and the meal is not always ready. I do my best to have things tidy before he gets home and look nice myself, but you are very right about things being totally different when you have many little ones around the house. If you work with your children and train them up they do eventually become good at helping out, but there is still the toddler stage which keeps happening when you continue to add to your family 😅 It is such a blessing and so worth it, but mother's do not need to have entirely unrealistic expectations for themselves. 💛
@@herhomebook exactly, so many homesteading moms who homeschool their kids manage just fine. It seems it is always the ones who cant do it (their part) themselves that always try to tell the stronger women that 'noone can do all that'. And then they misrepresent the facts about what that 'everything' for her to handel is buy adding things to the list like 'managing finiances' or 'taking out the trash'. Its funny cus theyre kinda right. A woman COULDNT do it all. Thats why a man will handel the finiances, take out the trash, ect.
This is how I was taught. My parents, my grandparents, great grandparents all lived by these principles. No divorces either. My parents have been happily married for 67 years!❤
Much of this works well in an ideal situation, but I can tell you, as a husband who had these expectations of my wife early in our marriage. This isn't always feasible. Some women are simply not able (due to health issues mainly) to keep a clean home. Also - regardless of your wife's capacities gentlemen, pitching in when you get home after a long day of work, doing your wife's least favorite household chore (for mine it's dishes) is REAL leadership, when done from a willing loving heart. Your sons and daughters will see you leading sacrificially, they will learn from it, and they will be able to better see love in their own lives.
Thank you for your balanced comment 🙏. Both my husband and I share all duties. 5 kids. Both work full time. We both worked at home when they were little. I ❤️ him with ALL my heart. 30 years so far 😊.... there's different ways to have happy marriages!!
Not that I'm arguing against these suggestions. All of these suggestions provided are great practices for a healthy marriage. (I'm from South Asia so this dynamic and practices are just the default for a lot of married couples) It's just that your line of argument is a bit wierd. A lot of very bad practices were also "Traditional" for hundred's of years. Just because something was traditional for a long time doesn't necessarily make it right or good.
It's only been traditional for less than 300 years. Since the quakers. This is a western christian take on families. And we progressed past all that bullshit
@@MattStephenson523 I understand. And I'm not saying these are bad traditions. My parents are like this too. I'm just saying that their should be a better reason or argument for declaring these practices as good then just that they have been traditional for centuries. For example, estee in the video provided good and logical reasons for why these practices are good and work in a marriage.
How refreshing! I wish you and your husband a wonderful life. It's so pleasant to hear about a relationship that is based on respect and love. Awesome!
Love it! I see a lot of women commenting how it’s VERY different when you have kids, and I agree. But one thing it seems like a lot of people are forgetting, is that KIDS CAN HELP DO HOUSEHOLD WORK TOO. My 3 siblings and I were homeschooled all the way through, and my mom taught us (the boys too) how to deep clean, do laundry, cook, organize, iron, etc from a very young age. I remember learning how to fold clothes when I was 4 (my dads socks seemed massive). By the time I was 10, I was making 1 meal a week. My brothers took out the trash every other night. Someone always set the table. We always cleaned up after. We ALL deep cleaned the house on Fridays- and I mean DEEP cleaned, like wash the baseboards and wipe the walls if needed. Honestly, it was just part of our life growing up, so it didn’t seem like work, and my mom taught us how to take pride in being thorough and methodical. I still enjoy housework and cleaning as a young woman. Kids can do A LOT of the work around the house, even from a young age. My siblings and I are between the ages of 21-26, and we ALL are very thankful that we learned how to care for ourselves and our environment. And it doesn’t matter what career path we chose (me-physician, brother- military, 2nd brother -finance, sister- college), we all use and have taught the same methods to our friends, roommates, and SO’s. I was a nanny for a while, and if you raise kids early on to do work, be responsible, and take pride in the quality of their job, it will seem less like work, and more of a game. MAKE KIDS RESPONSIBLE AGAIN PLS.
I tell my wife this all the time, you have an army in front of you, use them. She won't do it, I go to work 12-14 hrs a day, five days a week, and rarely get a meal or clean clothes. She has never had a job a day in her life. We have been married 25 years in September 2023.
When I was young, being raised in a traditional home in the 1970-80's, and as I was maturing as a young lady, Mom gave me a lovely book called _Fascinating Womanhood._ Since that time, I have gifted the book to a handful of young ladies myself... much of what you say/believe is contained and promoted by the author of that book. So many women are unhappy with the relationships they have, but few realize the power and potential that they're bypassing by living in their "female-masculinity", rather than embracing the miracle and livelihood of female-femininity. If you've ever experienced it, you _KNOW,_ but until one _KNOWS,_ it seems to be a somewhat foreign possibility and way of life. 🙏📖❤️‼️
I’m a homemaker and agree with most of this. I do however make sure my hubby is eating as healthy as he can. That’s for him. I certainly don’t want him to die of a heart attack. So although I follow his requests I also do my part as a wife and educate him on things and make tweaks as i see fit. He respects this as he knows those things are best for him and I’m careful and thoughtful. Just as I know that when he makes a decision I may not love, I trust him completely. That’s a true partnership. ❤
Most successful romantic relationships are not a partnership. One is a leader and one is a follower. That's human nature. What you describe is you being the leader and choosing to let him lead when you decide he should.
@@robertfowler7078 I would agree with this and see your point however there are many times that he leads and I follow. I truly feel we have developed a partnership in that we see each others strengths and weaknesses. Even in emergency’s. There are some emergency’s that I can tackle better and vise cersa. We have also been together for 20 years so it’s a developed situation.
@@Sadune85let me know how excited you get when your wife cheats on you, divorces you and takes half your shit and your children AND you have to pay child support.
This is my marriage in a nut shell. Nothing wrong with this in any way, shape or form. This makes for a happy marriage. It's the way it's supposed to be. I feel sorry for feminist minded women. They miss out so much on what could be a fantastic life because of their brainwashed mindset. Keep up with it sweet Lady. You are a blessing.
It's sad that we muslim women are bashed so much in the media/social media for having these values but I realize it's not just us, those people have a deeply rooted hatred for traditional values in general. It's crazy to me. Keep up with it too, have a lovely day (from an orthodox muslim)(and a believer in Jesus [tho we muslims do not see him as God]). 💕
As a feminist, I would find this lifestyle to be intellectually dull. I stayed home with my daughter for her first year. I'm glad I did & love her to pieces, but needed more variety in my day. I choose to go back to school and it was just what I needed. She was a social little one and nursery school was fun for her. It was a balancing act that went well. Most feminists simply want equality, and very few actually hate men or judge other women.
I did all of what you do, every bit for decades while raising 4 children with him bullying me and trying to get me to make money. He made plenty! He just had no respect for me because I pulled in none. It was a degrading misery. I am so happy for you that you have a man that truly appreciates all that you do. God bless you.
I work 3 days a week long hours. I like that if helps me have some kind of say in my marriage. I don't know if you are still married, but if not that's ok. Men are not traditional so why should we have to be. You put in your 100% of your husband doesn't notice God does. Thank you for being open. This is across a very common problem. I follow (prophet Shepard Bushiri) but any church or biblical council can also give you peace. God bless you & if you are still married please find a way to communicate how you feel. He likely doesn't realize your feelings. Mine didn't, but I let him know quietly and calmly. God bless you. You are a great example to your family.
I’m sorry to hear that. He clearly did not respect the very important role you played. Ladies please may take note, if a man has his attitude you will not change him. This fundamental contempt from motherhood actually comes from feminism. So he’s a feminist. Ladies please do not marry a man like this. You will not change them.
Agree and like our marriage for around 20 years. Kids grown now and wife got bored I got tired. She became the breadwinner and I'm the homemaker. She runs an inn and I do a lot of gardening. I do home improvements, She pays bills. I practice the crafts I've learned having been the breadwinner for many years from home now. She has a thriving social life and is very proud at utilizing and learning skills independent of the family. I'm not tired anymore and she is no longer bored and our grown kids a boy and girls continue to see equivalent value and happiness in both of us😂. Live your best life, its the only one you got😂
Just wanted to say as a young man I really appreciate videos like this because I am looking for a wife with similar values as you have but I am also trying to do my part and set myself up to be able to support a wife comfortably and be a good protector. You will definitely get a lot of hate putting out a video like this but I appreciate it and wish you and your husband the best. 😊
I truly understand your plight to find a good woman to marry, but don't count on finding one you can trust! That's a very powerful five letter word, TRUST think about it would you kind sir?
Make sure you marry a woman and not an actress. A lot of women will, after sleeping around and getting out of rehab, larp as a trad wife, because that's what men are into right now. They might even be good at it, but they will make you miserable. The way women treat other women is the way they will treat you. So, if they're contentious and passive-aggressive and badmouthing to other women, they'll do that to you. Also, if they put out fast, move on. That woman may act like a tradwife, but she's an empty husk. Get a nice girl who's well-meaning with a good faith in Jesus. If you strive for perfection, you'll end up with a narcissist. Nobody is perfect, but narcissts know how to seem perfect.
Please do not LOOK for a wife. Become the husband and they will find you. Get money, a cool house, build a life, establish yourself. Get comfortable being alone. Someone will kick the door in I'm not kidding. I ended up meeting someone at church we got married 7 months later. We celebrated 15 years last Wednesday and we still haven't had our first argument. First person I ever met that never annoys me. I hope that helps good luck
There are some very good points made by the first three replies to your comment. Yes, establish yourself while you're young and you'll do well with a wife. Find your wife in the church!!! Study the woman you are interested in, before you start dating. Make sure she is a woman of values and has a heart for God. Chances are very high that you will find a good one if that is your strategy.
I work four days a week and my husband works five days plus weekends and evenings at a second job. I like to make sure the house is a nice environment for us both when we get to relax, since he works more than I do. We are both adults though, so we always talk over big purchases reasonably and come to a decision together. Sometimes one or both of us will compromise. It is interesting learning about other marriages and how they make things work ☺️
Agree. I found number three objectionable and controlling. So many men abuse women in traditional marriages financially, it should definitely be discussed and agreed on mutually.
100% gym is where so much infidelity occurs. Tons of gym associated break ups and divorces even in seemingly strong marriages. I love serving my stay at home wife by cooking, cleaning and helping around the house. I also love my wife in those times when she is sweaty, working and not always put together. I consider myself a traditional husband and my wife traditional. It is fun to serve each other and go the extra mile for each other.
The final say should be his. Take my Parents. For most purchases, Mom decides. Dad does not care. But for larger items, she turns to him to make the decision. They may talk it over, but she submits to his leadership. When you have a good man, that is not something that is to be feared. @@NuggingTheDumb
From a not so young woman to a young woman, letting your husband have the final say is spot on. There has been 2 times that I was inwardly upset that my husband didn't do something I thought we should, but I didn't say anything. Both times he was right. I'm from the 70s generation. And let me just say, feminism isn't what it's cracked uo to be. I love that our next generation of women, at least some of them, are going back to tradition. Don't let anyone tell you different. Oh, I agree with everything else you said, especially going to the gym with him. You're a smart lady!
It’s always the youth that rebels, I am literally seeing young people more encouraged in decency than their own parents. So what you saw as squares back then are now the cool kids. That’s how upside down the world of today is.
That is literally either just coincidence or he happens to be smarter than you. As a man, I know so many women that are smarter than me. Gender has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence or ability to make good decisions
@@ig7002 no, they aren't. But it's more about trusting God than your husband. Since she put this one point in that context, that's what I was saying, although not explaining it very well.
I can't wait to see how this changes when you have kids. One, as a mother, I am not a short order cook. I love to feed my family healthy food. My husband doesn't have the time to read about nutrition and what food will give him and the kids the most energy and general wellbeing. I make what I make and you eat it. Must be the Polish in me. This is traditional from what I understand. The other thing is, I see what you're saying about getting dressed but taking a hot tool to my hair and makeup do not make the woman. I definitely don't want my daughter to think she needs to enhance in any way the already perfect features God gave her. I was very self concious at one point and couldn't leave the house without makeup and doing my hair. You might say, it's not about that, it's about looking nice and presentable but I watched my mom and my daughter's are watching me. We need to think about what we're telling our girls when in order to look nice and presentable we must alter our God given face. ❤
I am a “liberal” and a “feminist”. I think Estee’s arrangement is wonderful and I think it’s lovely to see someone who supports their partner so thoughtfully. Unfortunately this kind of traditional family arrangement is much harder to sustain nowadays as incomes have not kept up with inflation; in many households both partners must work out of financial necessity. I hope that some day we can get back to a government / market / economy that supports middle class nuclear families.
The reason we have inflation and low wages is because of feminism. Women were brought into the work force to drive down wages and to broaden the tax base. Good work comrade feminism.
@@davidtoda1751Feminism is enforced by courts and family law. I thought I was free to be a stay at home breastfeeding mother until I was raided and sent into the workforce at gunpoint
When a third World War happens and ALL ex soldiers get FREE or very low cost HOUSING you'll probably hear of it in the news. That's literally THE ONLY WAY that happened last time. And that was AFTER FIRST WORLD WAR veterans got NOTHING after coming home and complained A LOT to their local and federal government about it. Especially since a lot MORE First World War veterans that got lucky enough to even reach home reached it with A LOT more missing limbs and missing sense organs.
I love and appreciate the notion of keeping the house tidy and the breadwinner not having to do too much at home, but when your wife needs help, you help, when she's overwhelmed and struggling you pick up the weight. And if you don't have kid's yet, well you'll need all the help you can get, when you do, trust me, haha!
I also think it's important for men to do some of the picking up sometimes just for their own personal development and mental health. It's a really powerful positive habit to be able to pick up after yourself and also after your loved ones. It can really make you feel on top of things, and be a nurturing practice. And it's also important for keeping people grounded and making sure that nobody in the family feels like they are superior to anyone else. You just can't trust a person who has never cleaned their own toilet, lol!
Why. When I am struggling and overwhelmed at work is she coming in and helping me... Exactly. I have my job she has hers. We live in loving, happily married bliss with this logic.
We have the same rules, pretty much and have been married for 13 years. The only thing i would say is, be willing to revise your arrangement after children arrive. We have 4, and it genuinely did take a lot of flexibility to make "traditional" work for both of us when children entered the picture. Its great to have this setup as the best case scenario, as long as neither of you are giving each other a hard time when little monsters are exhausting you. Wishing you all the best xxx
Wow, finally a normal respectable traditional wife who is wise, practical and smart in the way she conducts her household and marriage. It is so refreshing to see another person on TH-cam like you with such strong conservative values and moral decency. Bless you two and I wish you and your husband long life and a very happy marriage.
Respectable? She has her tatas out dancing around in every other video. I’m sure every man wants that 😂 There are plenty of ACTUALLY respectable women on TH-cam like Jennifer L Scott. Notice how the vast majority of Jennifer’s comments come from other women but the vast majority of this woman’s comments are from men. Who is her real audience? Men fantasizing about her.
@@winterviveca5976 there’s nothing wrong with that sentence though. Why would it be a bad thing to try to make your home as peaceful and comfortable as you can for the person you love that’s been working all day?
@@Chefgrlangel there is NOTHING wrong with that, just don't make it seem that it is the rule, imagine if Marie Curie had been that type of woman, this world needs diversity
My husband and I are very traditional but we have 4 very young children. My husband is the bread winner and works very physically hard outside as well. He helps me with our kids and takes out the trash 🗑️ for us changes poopie diapers and helps me with our boys. We have been together for about 12 years. We are in our early thirties. I can tell you, as time goes on, you're gonna want your husband to help you, as far as cute outfits go, that's nice when the babies are sleeping but it's totally unrealistic most of the time when you have poopie, pee and throw up and food in your hair a lot. We are talking about an 8 month old boy and 2 year old boy and 5 year old boy....it gets messy. Our oldest is our daughter and she's 9 and she's my big helper. But I just wanted to mention, I pack lunches for my husband every day I can, breakfast in the mornings, and dinner every night for all of us. I do the shopping, cleaning and laundry and everything else around the house that needs to be done but my love language is acts of service. Whenever my husband does anything to help me it's a dream come true. Also when you are breastfeeding 🤱 it's a lot of hard work to keep up. I'm literally so tired and it's very hard along w school getting them ready picking them up. I get very frazzled and stressed. I just want to mention these things because as lovely as it is to say, my husband doesn't lift a finger it's not realistic when you have children. Especially when you have them back to back: Just keep that in mind because it's not fair to keep up with all these mega beauty standards and then get shunned for raising children that are a TON OF WORK. As much as I love putting on nice clothes and makeup I'm lucky if I get a shower and I'm not asleep drooling on our kids bed.
I have to agree with this because we are in the same boat. I am not a feminist but yes realistically when u have children especially when they are young u wld want yr husbands help.
She’s just naive. Give it a few years and a few kids and we shall see lol I remember being so much like this, 2 kids and 3 PCS with the military, no family and one special needs child, health problems, it looks a lot different now
I agree with most of what you said, the thing I find weird is that, while you won’t go to the gym alone because of unwanted attention, you’ll wear a low cut shirt for a video and post it for the world to see.
We are both mechanics, and have big goals, so one of us staying home isn't an option, because we're both working for those goals. However, we practice a lot of other great things together. ❤ *We share house work, mainly by doing the tasks we know the other dislikes, or involve the areas where we are mostly responsible for the mess. It keeps everyone happy. *We share the cooking, by way of making it a bonding moment. He'll grill and I'll prep and do sides and dishes as we go, or I'll cook, and He'll take care of trash, compost, and rinsing as I go, and we use that time to chat, dance around, be goofy, catch up on something we found interesting that day, and so on. It keeps up present in our lives and passes the time in the best way. Now, there are days where the other one is just beat, and we take over just pampering the other person so they can feel light and happy again, which makes the rest of our night so much better. *we do porch breakfast, or coffee time. ☕️ This is time to tease out things that are frustrating us in a calm place, or just catch up. Sometimes we just ease into our day in companionable silence, but we share that time together so we can have our heads on straight for the day. *we do positive affirmations. He does mine often in the morning during porch coffee time, because that's the hardest part of my day to get motivated. I do his as he's drifting off to sleep, and before he leaves for work, so we end our time together with him feeling good about himself, and appreciated. *we don't fight. This doesn't mean we don't have a hard time, or disagree, because we certainly do, we just prioritize stepping back, sitting down eye to eye, and having a conversation in love as a team rather than fighting in anger. We make the priority working together to clarify and communicate until we both feel closure and resolution, or agree to disagree without resentment or anger festering afterward. We take as long as we need for this because *we don't go to bed angry. *we talk about our goals, often, because we want to stay on track together and help each other meet our goals. *we don't have joint accounts for our personal money. We have a shared account for mortgage, repair costs, and general savings for vacation or emergencies, but we also have our personal accounts as well, because we both believe shared accounts can cause resentment, and that the money we work for is ours to use how we see fit. We do however often update one another on how we are doing, as we share goals and invent in them as a team often. *we talk about s e x. We're very communicative of how it feels, and likes and dislikes. Life is too short to let ego get in the way of a good time, so, when someone says they don't like how you do something, you adjust gladly. *we have non sexual contact often. We make sure to hold hands, touch, snuggle, hug, forehead kiss, nose book, hip bump, spank, just gently touch, and all kinds of other small gestures to make sure we are getting that metal fulfillment of human touch without the "price" being s e x. *We date each other. No matter how much time passes, we plan dates and surprises for each other like it's year one still. You never stop dating your spouse. *we hang out with each other's friends. We are a family and a village together. I can text or call any one of his friends to talk or ask a favor and they are there, and vice versa. We're there for each other and the kids as well. * we know each others passwords and share phones and electronics often. If it's closer than yours, use it. We've never needed to go through one another's stuff, and we never will, but the option is there. *we don't put ourselves in potentially awkward situations, or put up with "even remotely inappropriate situations and behavior". If it feels not OK, it's a nope. *we talk out past trauma and what we're doing to cope with it. Our baggage is not the other persons responsibility. It's ours to work on and better ourselves, and we don't take our insecurities out on the other person. Hope these help someone!
Dear Estee, I agree on all those statements! Especially trying to get your husband to eat more “healthily” - I feel like that leads to nagging in many marriages. Also, thank you for supporting your husband in the way you do - what a shining example for young women you are! As a fellow young wife (albeit with children) I pray for you and your husband and wish lots of blessings on you both!
The only thing I'd add/change is that once you have children (we have 3 under the age of 5), things can change. My husband helps SO much when he gets home because honestly, I'd lose my mind if I had no help after 6am to 5pm by myself. That is one thing that has changed for the good in society; men stepping up as fathers.
Men were always fathers. Just because they didn't help change the diapers doesn't mean anything. After the children are able to speak, the men always do most of the teaching, and preparing them for the real world. Do not diminish men's roles with their children, as without the father, the children turn out to be banes to society, as we see in todays world with children raised by single mothers. It almost sounds as if you are actually a feminist and not a traditional woman... (PS, it is possible to take care of kids on your own, but it's likely you never had any proper teaching. For one, you feed the children at set times, rather than whenever they cry. If anything, it should be easier for you to take care of your children as women with jobs are able to take care of their children alone...)
1. No, fathers very often don't do father things when children are young. After I wnet to school, I started to have relationship with my father. When I was younger - he didn't change even a diaper. It wasn't his fabuły, my mother siletly do everything because this is how she was raised and he didn't do anything because he was raised that it's enough for man to just be at home 2. Single mothers (and fathers) heavly relied on other people. Either it is grandparents or day care - it is imposible for them to take care of their children and work 8+h per day. Same goes for working both parents. Very rarely they are able to set their work hours so children are each parent at all time.
I almost guarantee he works the same hours as you and harder during those hours. Yet you still expect him to pick up your slack because you are too lazy to do the work. I have 5 children. Newborn to 15 and my wife never asks or expects any help. She has tons of down time and we homeschool. Maybe get a better work ethic. Put the phone down. Turn off the TV. Stop surfing social media and get to work.
Absolutely SHOCKING that this is considered untraditional! Girl, you are going to have such an amazing marriage!! These are all great things to implement in a marriage! Love to hear it ♥️
Estee, I think your approach to marriage is refreshing at this time. I’m guessing but I’ll bet your husband counts his blessings daily! My mother-in-law had this approach and was married 67 yrs. Still living at 101 yrs old. Just a happy person! It sounds like many woman are either frustrated with your approach and don’t want to see the value in this approach. Yes kids can complicate things but not to much really. Having kids is a sacrifice and blessing. I’ve been the house husband for most of our marriage. Staying home with two boys, all grow now and wonderful guys. She helped often while working rotating shifts. My wife is an amazing bread winner, caregiver( nurse), daughter(with a 101 yr old mother). I’m still the house husband and I ask nothing from her in taking care of our home and she’s very happy, She tells often! She picks on me for being a clean freak but oh well. Now she does the bill paying and procuring of shopping needs/ wants if I ask. I’m very lucky!! She’s given us an amazing full life. If you’re happy keep it up, and I hope you don’t feel the need to change your approach. Well done.
Thank u, thank u, thank u!! I'm in my 40's and I grew up very "traditional". Not only am I grateful for the way I was raised but I've implemented that lifestyle with my husband and I love it! It's so nice that a younger generation is keeping this way of life alive! With healthy boundaries and a healthy relationship this type of "traditional" living doesn't have to be looked upon as taboo. Love ur vids!!
Hi Estee! Love your content and how much you love God and your husband! It’s all about shining the Lord’s glory ❤️ I’m sure you and your husband’s life is absolutely much deeper than what we see here on TH-cam. If I could share a thought, with total respect, God instructs husbands to lay down their lives for their wives, and sometimes depending on your stage in life, that can look different. Providing is definitely at a man’s core, but it’s important to remember you both are a team. When the kids come, letting your husband serve you and lay down his life for you in other ways, like changing diapers, making you breakfast because you are sleep deprived, letting you know how much he loves you despite you not looking as put together because you are breastfeeding, all of those things are absolutely priceless. Remember Jesus, apart from dying on the cross, also washed his disciples’ feet ❤️ I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my husband serving me in those ways (we have a lovely 1 year old daughter) especially when I most desperately need it. It’s acknowledging we are all in such a big need of grace, and we are not perfect. It’s all about the heart! ❤️ Anyway, I love your heart and desire to please God with your life. Happy Sunday!
I agree with what you’re saying. It’s hard sometimes to live up to my own standards. My husband will come home and help with dishes if I haven’t gotten to them, because he likes to help, but I don’t make him. Some days I just can’t be this perfect. But I applaud you if you’re able to do it! 🎉
Absolutely like this 💯 ! I'm 42 years old. I have a 10 year old daughter and I'm raising her the same way; that there's no shame in attending to your family/husband or being a stay at home mom/wife. Also have a 16 year old son and raising him to be a well mannered gentleman. Keep up the awesomeness. By the way you're beautiful 😍. Blessings!!
I have a "traditional" marriage as well...on difference is my wife is the bookkeep for our family and does an amazing job - we plan for large expenditures. Also, we go to the gym together as well..two of my training buddies started to do the same thing! I want to commend you for your bravery on sharing your values in social media and know, you have massive support!
Yes! My husband and I do all of these things except the gym. We both work out at home, so that's a non-issue for us. And my husband works a desk job, so sometimes he chooses to come home and do some work in the garage or he volunteers to help me make dinner, but it's totally his choice and I always tell him how much I appreciate it. Sometimes, he says he's been sitting too much and needs to get some energy out lol. One thing my husband and I do is we go on a walk together almost every evening after dinner. It's so nice! We take our dog with us, and we hold hands and talk. It's so nice! There's a pond with lot of ducks near our house, so we love to walk around the pond and see all the sweet little ducks swimming around quacking at us.
This is lovely. My husband and I are planning on going for afternoon walks together once he’s back properly from working away, I say the same as your hubby lol, we spend all our time together at home so thought it would be nice for us to get out in the evening now the weather is getting warm here.
I like your message. I did have a good laugh when you said "my husband has a physical labor job, he's an electrician." Good one. all of us guys had a good laugh at that one.
Honestly，the fact that your husband is able to support you both with his job is a win. My friend has a hard time deciding what she wants to do in her life, she says that she doesn't have any skills, but she's such a good cook, she lives with her parents so she takes care of the house for them, and now I understand that's what she was meant to do. And like you mentioned you did have a job but it just wasn't your thing. Bless you and your family! You two are such a beautiful couple, I hope you stay together forever! Don't let the things ignorant people say get to you ❤
Well her husband probably was heavily supported by his family. As how most traditional families were in the 90s. Now that societal has progressed past that role play as a means to separate ourself from the countless downsides of traditional families.
When I was younger I I felt I didn’t have any skills. Instead my family pushed me to get a degree and now I have a huge student debt to pay and can’t stay home with my newborn. My heart breaks when it will be time to go back to work
Estee, you are an inspiration even to us who have been doing the #tradwife thing before there were hashtags or smart phones. I am so excited to see you grow and develop into who you were made to be! Children do change the dynamic of the household in the most amazing way and I think you’ll handle it with grace and you’ve got a great man to support you. My family keeps Shabbat. Pretty much all week long I stand on my feet in the kitchen making bread, meals, homeschooling… the children take care of pretty much all the farm chores during the week. So, on Shabbat, I take the day off of my usual labor and I’ll do the farm chores so the children get a break and my husband will do dishes with the children instead of me. They’ll do the food serving, too that day. We all get a break from our typical “jobs” from the week. It’s been the biggest blessing of our lives to keep that 4th commandment. I highly recommend keeping that day set apart into our creator. It’s the #1 tip I give to any biblical homemaker!
Love love love ❤️ I do all of these things in my marriage. It is so refreshing to see someone else my age who has traditional values. Thanks for being so open! Hopefully more people will learn about how happy this traditional, natural lifestyle is! ❤️🌸 Can’t wait to see more content 🤗
Quit yer yapping woman, and get down on your knees and scrub that floor! When that's done, stay down on your knees and service something else! Sounds like a great relationship plan!!
As a feminist, I support this bc that’s what feminism should be- supporting women in making their own choices and living a life that works for them. We’re not all the same and that’s ok.
I don't know that this is the case in every circumstance. We have two kids, and nothing much changed other than I would come home and play with the kids and do what I could to care for them so my wife could get a break in the evenings after work. This wasn't even specifically to give her a rest, it was just as much because I wanted to spend time with my kids! When they were small babies she didn't even wake me up in the night to feed them since she could nap during the day but I couldn't at my job (and being tired/inattentive in my job can have very serious consequences.) I actually think that most people, for whatever reason, build having kids into a much tougher job than it really is. Of course it adds new responsibilities and more work to be done, but the joy of children makes it all worth it, and as they get older they become more independent and are able to help around the house to ease the burdens to top it all off. They really don't require the type of constant hovering modern parents seem to think it does. A husband and wife are a team, and they should always be monitoring how the other is doing. I've sent my wife out of town on vacation with friends for a week at a time while I take vacation time to stay home with the kids when she's needed it, things like that. Our marriage is very, very similar to what this lady describes, although my wife doesn't really wear makeup often and my job is only heavily physical about 50% of the time (I'm an electrical controls engineer for large industrial process plants. Think chemical plants and gas liquefiers, that sort of thing.)
@@robopam If by "less" you mean none, then yes. And if absolutely is difficult to keep a clean house with kids. Not as bad when they're older but when you have three kids under five, things get messy again as fast as you can clean it.
Amen, Myself married 42yrs, my wife was a homemaker the whole time, she had big job, in raising the kids and and taking care if the home, I couldn't do it, and I still Thank God for her everyday, I can't wait to get home after work is done, she is always happy to see me, as I am her. We respect each very much, and we are not the weirdos. Thank you
I’m glad you guys have this relationship and it works for you ; ) I go to the gym by myself to destress from the kids and my day. It’s so relaxing. My hubby does the dishes if I cook dinner and he helps clean up. My house isn’t spotless but I do clean and do the laundry. If I’m sick I look like it. And I am working on establishing a marriage where he is catered to more. But with kids and toddlers I think it is necessary for both parents to chip in with the housework for the sake of sanity.
Going to the gym is harder for Moms once they have a few small children. I expect it will be for her as well. I applaud your approach to balancing all the important things in your marriage and family! Good for you ❤
The most important thing is to have the household run in whatever way works for you. The biggest help to that is communication. With good two-way communication, there's far less chance for resentment and feelings in one person that they're doing everything.
She appears to be all heart. She is not building a house out of wood, hay, and stubble. She is building a house out of stone with her fulfilling her role in the home. She is adding strength to this marriage that the Lord will bless because it is by His design. That is Awesome and way to go Mrs. Williams! 👏👏
This is so wise, and things I’ve been trying to practice for the last decade. I’m not perfect at it, and there’s always room for growth (particularly when babies come), and there are seasons when duties do need to shift temporarily (after birth, sickness etc). But overall, ten years later, my husband and I are still going strong and more in love. You’ve clued in early, girl. Your husband is so blessed!
I do love your values and in many ways my husband and I were the same for 12 years. Then our son was born and everything got turned upside down. I’ve been preparing for our son’s arrival for years but nothing could have prepared me for what’s coming. After 18 months just now I started to get my pretty clothes out because getting dressed just doesn’t seem important at all when you get weed on, pooped on, puked on, dribble, snot, milk, food down on you, dirt, mud on you etc. I sometimes couldn’t even get to the toilet, have a shower or have something to eat or have a drink. It is not realistic to do everything. In earlier times generations were often under one roof or very close and they got help. I have no family nearby to help so it’s just my husband and I. My time is completely swallowed by catering for my sons needs and doing activities with him all day. Then my husband comes home and takes over when I can wash, cook dinner and do some chores. My husband also prepares all of our breakfasts every morning before he leaves and washes my son’s milk bottles. He also does washing, hoovering and cleans the bathroom every weekend. He cooks when necessary. I wouldn’t have coped without his help mentally. I used to love cooking and baking, dress pretty, organise our home but my son took all our energies. It is getting easier now but the first year was rough, I cried a lot. Of course I gladly put every effort into our son but that doesn’t make it any easier. Enjoy you lifestyle but when or if you have children, don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it xxx
Congratulations on your baby and your marriage ! The problem with Estée is that she doesn't have any children. There's a huge difference between a childless woman and a mother with a newborn. I'm glad your husband helps you. I can't imagine being married to one of these RedPill men who wouldn't have helped me or would have reproached me with not taking care of him because of our baby !
Thank you for sharing a realistic perspective. I love her content and when I only worked part time, I lived as she did. However, I'm working full time now because I'm getting married soon and I'm helping save money and even just with me working, the house is not what it used to be. Maintaining a home--cooking all the meals, keeping everything tidy, spotless, and organized--IS a full time job without kids. I can't imagine how difficult it will be once I have them! I'm very fortunate that my fiance started helping me a bunch once I started working and now I can manage it better, but it's so exhausting. Being a mother is amazing, good for you for making your household function and thank God it sounds like you have a lovely husband who lightens your load! It's a team effort. A "perfect" home is nice, but loving and raising children well takes priority and both can't exist simultaneously 99% of the time.
Om the youngest of 6 kids my dad worked 2 jobs and my mom was able to cook breakfast lunch and dinner. Have My dad's lunch ready for him everyday to take the work and had breakfast and dinner waiting for him all the time so don't say a woman with Kids can't do this plus she kept a very clean house.
@@dannystranahan1004 I’ve never said that she or anyone can’t do it all. I only talked about my experience and struggles and I encouraged her to ask for help if she needs it in the future. My mum was the same as yours. Managed it all without a complaint but unfortunately not everyone is this strong.
I love how you are making a home and a safe place for your husband. I used to and still try to, but now that I am about to deliver baby number 9 things have changed a lot. Even though my children do help out they do not know how to clean like the mother does. The littles put their toys away in their toy box, but sometimes they just throw them on the floor next to the toy box. I cannot always catch it because I am usually working in the kitchen or doing laundry. Yes, I think I could do better, and God helping me I will.
Didn't you JUST get married like 4 months ago? Lol, I'm alllll about the tradwife style, but you've got to be married a few more years before you get the hang of it all ;)
That’s what teamwork is about. The last thing a breadwinner needs is his partner working on another team and scoring own goals. Thank you lady! The consequences of not following this principle can be severe.
I don't believe in everything you say, but I think there's a whole lot of value that you offer in your video with the potential to enrich my life. So thank you!
Wow I feel like our marriage is very similar. I’m an IBEW inside wireman electrician, my wife and I are both 25, and she’s been staying at home since before our daughter was born. In the Mexican culture, having the wife stay at home is idealized, and only men who have a good income are able to afford that kind of lifestyle. Her and I both went to university, so we fully understand America’s push for women’s independence from men. Keep fighting the good fight.
Do you need a university degree to be an electrician in Mexico? I live in New Zealand and electricians need to spend one year studying at a polytechnic, then they do a paid apprenticeship. My electrician brother earns a similar salary to me. I'm a registered nurse. RNs need to have a Bachelors degree.
@@kathyryder828 I may have misspoken. We were both born and raised in the USA, but the Mexican tradition is very strong and instilled in the children of migrants. You don’t need a university degree to be a licensed electrician in the USA, but you need to pass your state’s exam, which may require a few thousand hours on the job and in school.
I’m now of the geriatric population (62) but have always maintained this same line of thinking on keeping house, raising kids and caring for my husband. One house rule that I was raised with and continued with our children was no friends calling after 1700 or friends on weekends. Weekends were for cleaning house (we kids had chores) and family time. On the rare pre-planned occasion, we could go to a friend’s house or have them over. I had a good career in healthcare BUT that didn’t mean anything really changed my routine at home. And now that we are retired I am finding more joy in my home and husband and our children/grandchildren/gr-grandchildren.
It's so refreshing to see someone from your generation with this attitude and approach to marriage. My wife and I have been married for almost 28 years and have seven kids together. She's homeschooled every one of our kids, and still has several years to go because our youngest is only seven. Since we've been married she's never had an outside paying job. I'm so glad she volunteers for her many jobs, because there's no way I could pay her salary!
I did A.C.E. all my schooling life, which includes a Baptist church school and homeschooling in the 80's/90's. What sort of work do you do for a living that allows your wife to be a homemaker?
Wow. The world needs more of you. In 33 years of marriage, I never had that. I worked full time, came home, made all my meals most days, did my laundry, cleaned the house, washed the bedding and towels plus did the yard work and garden. Intimacy was once every one to two months. 33 years she left. It was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders.
@deirdremorris9234 she couldn't hold down a job. She missed so much work they always let her go or she quit. We have 4 grown kids, 2 are in the airforce.
While everyone else I graduated with had ideas of what they wanted to do for a career I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I was laughed at for wanting to be a wife and mother. In church where you would expect traditional family values to be taught. 🤷🏻♀️ I married my sweetheart and we had many of the same agreements. He took care of the lawn, car, and garage. I took care of the garden, kiddos, and inside of the house. There were a couple times when I had to work outside the home for being able to put the kiddos in a private school. 40 years later I’m very happy to say that it has worked and we are both happy. Keep going!!
Each person sticking to a defined role is great - as long as you’re both young and healthy and can fulfill those roles. What happens if something happens to your husband? How would you support yourself - and any possible future kids - if he got into a fatal car accident? I mean, God forbid that should happen but sudden, unexpected death takes place every day. I mean, I guess you could clean other people’s houses for a living. But, unless you’re in a large urban area where people expect to pay a lot for cleaning services, there’s not a lot of money in that. And, how would your husband cope if something, God forbid, happened to you? Does he even know how to cook? Would he be able to manage any future kids you might have or would you know all the kids’ doctors, teachers, allergies, favorite toothpaste, etc. You guys are young and, whether you’re conscious of it or not, you think you’re going to live forever. It has nothing to do with being a Christian. All young people of all faiths and no faith think that way - it’s a consequence of youth. The fact is, rain falls on believers and nonbelievers alike. When hard times comes - and they will - it’s not wise for either person to be ignorant of how half of the family operates. Rigidity has its price.
My only disagreement is on the food. Yes, he is a grown man who can pick what he wants to eat, but poor dietary choices do catch up to people. There's nothing wrong with looking out for your spouse/partner so that they don't end up with clogged arteries.
@@devinnorsworthy9154 Being sedentary, smoking, extra weight, and high cholesterol which is often from eating a diet high in trans and saturated fats all contribute to plaque build up in the arteries. Deep fried foods, butter, gravies, and too much red meat can cause high cholesterol.
I think there is a lot of wonderful points here :) one thing I learned as a homemaker and stay at home mom is I can’t do it all though which can be a hit to our homemaker ego haha. But I hope you feel free to be vocal and ask for help when you need it. You deserve it 💗
I totally anticipate the much needed help when we bring children into our life❤ it’s amazing to hear other women talk and share the much needed advice on this matter as well because it gives us a realistic and healthy idea of what is to come. I agree with you and appreciate this comment 🥰
@@EsteeWilliams I miss the times where I could do more homemaking things during the day haha! But children are such a blessing 😊 thank you for your channel and content! You have such a lovely presence. I love femininity content 💓💓
You don't go to the gym without your husband but you constantly post on social media where men thirst for you all the time? I'm curious if you recognize the inconsistency or if you would argue that it isnt actually inconsistent.
@@JA-xq6eq like I don't mean to bash her, but I feel like there is a significant disconnect between some of the things she says and the way she presents herself on social media.
This is SM, this channel is her business and she works for her business as a model. She’s playing this role of a tradwife because there’s morons who think this is real and click on her videos - making her and TH-cam money. It’s basically one very long ad.
The concept of removing yourself before a situation can even develop is so true. I used to talk about this in university to girls who would go out to clubs without their boyfriends and they would look at me like I had three heads. The point is that all relationships have ups and downs. When things are up there is no issue, but when things are down its so easy to find that comfort or attention in another person. Innocently chatting at first, but then one thing leads to another.
After my wife had our first baby she became a stay at home mom. She practiced everything that you do. We have a very strong and happy marriage after 54 years.
My wife is feral as all hell and does her own thing, and I wouldn't have her any other way. That being said, I'm glad I actually caught one of your videos on my feed. I see you catching so much flack from so many women, and I wanted to throw my two cents in as well. You look happy and fulfilled. Keep doing you, and living your best life! To have and maintain a relationship over any period of time is a milestone in this day and age. I've known my wife for over twenty years, and it's nice seeing another functional team navigating this wild and crazy world. Be safe out there, and I wish y'all the best. 🤙
I'm a woman, and personally, I'd love this. He treats me like a queen, and I treat him like a king. Perfectly reciprocal relationship. I'm glad to see people still believe in these types of relationships. Not that the others are wrong.
The problem was that both sides made mistakes along the way, men were demanding respect and authority by being abusive and cheating, not earning their trust and women took that example and apply it to all men as if that meant masculine authority is bad as a whole. Good Authority is found in deep trust and being reciprocal.
My husband and I have a 3 month old daughter so sometimes it's hard to be all done up, but I love it when I make myself find the time. Having makeup on with a cute outfit is not only good for him but our own mental health as well. For me, staying home and working within the home is 100 times better. The sense of purpose is more than I ever realized it would be
I agree. 1. I do not go anywhere that is filled with singles without my husband- a gym, bar( we don't go to too many of these places anyway). Also, I have 2 kids with me all the time and so I try to get all my errands done during the day. I am not out after dark without my husband, it's kinda a safety thing. 2. I try to keep the house clean for him and I welcome his help but I do not expect it, this is My job. Though I will say you will see, when you have kids, sometimes it is harder to keep a clean house. 3. He sets aside a budget for me to get groceries and have some money for spending. He doesn't really question how I spend it, I am expected to shop responsibly , meal plan, and budget for our needs. If I need more, I ask for it, if I want to make a large purchase I ask. He almost never just says 'no'. And I don't ask for extravagant things. If it's pricey then he makes a plan with me on how we will work it into our budget and eventually make that purchase. 4. I struggle with him having the final say on an issue. For our relationship we each have a say. There are some issues where his say is the dominant one and there are other issues that I seem to have a final say on. It depends on what it is. 5. I do not try to change his diet. I agree he wants a traditional man's diet of hardier foods. I try to prepare dinner for him with that in mind. He makes requests at times but otherwise just eats whatever I make happily. Also, I try to have it ready for him immediately after him gets off work. 6. I do try to be put together. I think this one has also gotten harder after having children. So mostly I agree and it's pretty much works the same way here. Just we each have issues that we may carry the dominant voice or last word in depending. And my duties as a homemaker are to be balanced with taking care of our children and ultimately the children are more important than me vacuuming daily.
I just discovered you and just about wept for joy! As a traditional wife myself, I get ZERO support from family and ( most ) friends. It is so confirming to discover you!💕 A lot of women in my church ask why I dont " discover my gift of ministry" and get with the program. Serving my husband IS my gift and calling, and serving him is serving Christ!🙂
Cynthia just please be able to sustain yourself if you divorce. And no, you don’t need to be close to a divorce to be ready for it. You need autonomy is all I’m saying
I'm impressed with this fine woman. She actually puts her marriage first. But by being willing to put herself second, I bet it works out that she's treated like a queen. It's funny that something so traditional seems like a new idea. But I'm happy to see it. There's hope!!
I don't consider having to ask a man for money or things you want (which is literally like you're a child or teenager again, he is her husband not her father btw) or having to cook and clean up behind a grown man is "being treated like a queen." Marriage only benefits men. Women should work and have their own money (just in case something happens). God forbid (i want no bad things to happen to either of them of course.) What if he loses his job, passes away, or leaves her? She has zero money of her own to take care of herself.If it works for her, great. It was never what i wanted to do in life so i haven't. To each her/his own though.
For modern independent women and feminists, these things are unconventional...for everyone else, they are traditionally time-tested ways to have a happy home for both spouses.
Your husband is a lucky man. Well done. With these points your marriage will last for a life time. I wish there were a lot more women out there with this mentality but they're VERY scarce. I'm okay with that though, I'm not going to whine about it or try and change it, I've got a life of abundance as it is and am grateful for the life I have. All the best to you and your marriage.
What you do is very sweet and thoughtful. My ex had the same impulse when she was younger but as she got older she grew resentful for whatever reason. She wanted to go out to bars and even vacation abroad without me (I was the "babysitter" in these scenarios). Where in the beginning she'd hold my hand to cross the street. The "girls nights out" I did not mind (BIG mistake) but I put my foot down when it came to holidays on the beach in Cuba without me. She ended up leaving me saying I'm controlling and some other adjectives I can't remember. Now she's with a dude that doesn't allow her to wear a dress or heels or makeup in public or to listen to music (something about the devil). Actually her own mother isn't allowed to enter her house or interact with her young children now. That's just the tip... She moved up in the world... LMAO. I tell her jokingly she might be better off now had she just been an obedient little wife but she'll still call me controlling. LoL. Oh well. At least I can laugh about it now.
@@kbrewski1 Nice name very original, I dunno know what kind of drunken stuper you came from; but you obviously don't have the peace of a stay at home wife. I feel bad for you 😔
This stuff is 100% true, the only reason someone would take issue with this is if your husband is a jerk or you’re scarred by other men. It’s an unfortunate but common issue for women to feel like they can’t allow a man to take care of them. It ultimately stems from an unhealthy relationship, and unfortunately there’s a lot of those. Funny how the same people who think women have to compete with men and bash men, are the ones promoting sexual “freedom”, which lets men take advantage of you… if your husband is a gem and he loves you, he will not control you or make demands and boss you around. Too many scarred people imposing their painful experiences on others and claiming it’s the norm.
We are about to celebrate our 12th anniversary and though I am responsible for all the chores in our house, when my husband gets home he gets to play with the little ones and keeps them busy, he also changes dirty diapers and during the weekend he usually prepares a meal nor two (he likes to grill on Saturdays); we have 5 children, 10 and under so expecting him to just sit and relax from 5-10 pm would be ridiculous. Thankfully he is a smart guy and understands that moms also need a little time away from the children . So again all these are wonderful guidelines to have a happy marriage but once children start to come in, things may change a little 😊. And I still do my best to look presentable when he gets home, having 5 children is no excuse to look like a hot mess.
I would love to see a post-child version of this. I love her heart for her hubby but I hope he’s not a “I don’t change diapers” kinda guy for her sake unless she has in-home help 😅
Yea I was thinking the same. A messy house hits different when you add children. I love how put together she is, but I wonder if it will last after no sleep, all night nursing, all day childcare, cleaning, meals and no help.
Thanks, Estee! It is super important to share your financial health with your spouse. A monthly meeting to go over budget, expenses, forecasting and reviewing your investment portfolio...sharing all the details of what both people spend and looking into the future with investments - super important to have vision into the entire family economic plan!
This channel is monetized which means she is not living a “trad” house wife existence. She’s making money with these videos. Her channel is growing quickly. As someone else who also has a 100+k subscriber base on TH-cam I can guarantee that within a year she will be making more money than her husband is right now. That right there will change the entire dynamic of this relationship. He’s the “breadwinner” that’s gone when she’s making more than him. She’s also only been married for 4 months. She has almost zero experience in this, at least she is securing her future by building this channel. Everyone watching this thinking it’s real, you’re foolish. This isn’t 1958, there wasn’t social media and the big bucks that can come with that back then. There are too many modern realities with the timeline that we are in. This is fake and she’s making a lot of money doing it!
My wife isn't making any money and it's real for us. Maybe you just don't know as much as you claim. Sorry you struggle with accepting that her life and relationship brings her happiness since it goes against your entire belief system. I am also sorry for your attendance at your local government funded indoctrination center. That's why we homeschool.
@@robertfowler7078 so, she’s not only a slave to you, a cook, cleaning lady, day care provider, nurse, etc, she is also a teacher. You do realize that she should be making more money than you with that many job titles! If you really respect your wife and honour what she does, you should create a bank account solely in her name and provide her with a paycheck each month that represents all of these job positions that she has. She deserves that if you really do love her. I’ve already stated the statistical probability that you will leave her in 10 years and she’ll have nothing and no skills to even keep a roof over her head. You should be paying her if you think she is that valuable.
I don't know if it's great (it is) or just sad, that this is viewed as odd or strange. I grew up in this type of family and it was the norm at the time. I am PROUD of having my mom at home and it made me who I am today. My wife works by choice, but waited until my kids were grown.
This is beautiful. I think more marriages would last, if more women were like you, and more guys were like your husband. Thank you! P.s. probably never getting married, unless I knew this would be my life!
To feminists who bristle at this you need to understand that these things make most men feel loved. It took me years to figure out but when your husband feels loved and respected he will reciprocate in ways that make you feel loved. A marriage is nothing without harmony. I'm finding that the old fashioned ways are the best and it's been working for me 10 years so far.
This x1000 , men don't want women who insist on competing with us on everything. Women who do that come off as masculine and it's a huge turn off. Feminists just don't get it.
Well I as a single man, am inspired by women like you, to make myself the best I can be, for myself, my kids and family. Also on the off chance I meet a woman with values such as these, so that I'll be ready to provide and be a real partner for perhaps the first time of my life.
@@Jasmin-5678 I've tried things my way, and also failed enough to know when it's time i change. It is a rough world out there, but that doesn't mean give up, just means keep moving and be better for it.
That's why (even in an imperfect world) traditional gender roles are ideal. Men want to be better to be suitable for a traditional woman. Women want to be better to be suitable for a traditional man. It's a win win!
I agree with alot of your words. Im such a overthinker and workaholic and i stress out about anyone doing something i can do just fine so personally i think i would manage just fine while my future mate is away and i do my duties and children but i dont think i would ask much of him chore wise around the home unless he feels like helping me out when he is possibly bored. When he finally returns home i wanna track how much time he has to relax and then sleep and let him relax after work and when he feels jumpy again he can choose to wrestle me😳.... Or spend time playing games or excersise with the kids😊. Id be much happier he relaxes and spends time with kids first and then me while i mind my business and get the stuff in house done and once im done i will watch him play with kids and join when he offers me to join and then when the kids are put to bed its fair game for me and him to have fun or just go to sleep to recover haha
"my husband gets the final say, so if I want to make a purchase and I am not talking about grocery shopping, I mean somsthing extra I always go to him first anyways but if he says no and puts his foot down then the answer is no" and that's exactly the reason why economical independence is so important for an adult (female or male), if that's your lifestyle and you're happy (which I can see) good for you, to be honest I couldn't stand having to ask my husband for buying things that I want, that's why having a job is very important for me and I always suggest the importance of economical independence when talking to other girls about this.
@@robertfowler7078 Just like men put their independence before their family , women are not the slaves of the house. Women's dreams are important just as men's dreams.
This is the kind of relationship my wife and I had for 40 years before she lost her battle with cancer💔she was amazing. Miss her so much
Peace to you Dale! 🙏🏿
Hi Dale, you were/are one of the very lucky ones. Wish you the very best!
Sorry for your loss
I say She tied cancer. She took it with her in her battle! Condolences sir.
@@Kedesh14 thank you
So this comment is from a conservative, christian woman here... While I think it's wonderful to have clearly defined roles, I want to share with you, Etsee, that I thought I could do everything you were saying at one point in my life if I decided to just be a homemaker. And maybe if I didn't have kids, I could be the only one to do chores and finances and cook and do errands around the house. But once you have children it drastically changes everything. If you want your home to have even close to the same level of cleanliness and organization post children, your husband is (most likely) going to have to take on chores around the house, especially during the 3 months youre recovering from giving birth. Please remember that you're speaking from a perspective of someone who has yet to have children. Even if you're a mom who doesn't work, one person cannot do all the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, the picking up trash, the childcare, the finances, all while being sleep deprived and still have time for self care and looking put together. This may work for you right now as a childless couple, but I would caution you about speaking to mothers and tell them that this is good when it could be detrimental. If a man worked full time and lived by himself he would have to take care of chores. It's not wrong that a husband should contribute to the household especially after having children. Infact it's good for young boys to see their dad doing chores too. Knowing how to do chores and getting in the habit of keeping things clean is something that's necessary no matter your gender.
I absolutely agree with u..having kids changes everythg. As much as we want to do it all it is tiring if you are doing it all by yrslf..eventually you will break dwn.
I'm glad somebody have said this. Having kids is a whole big challenge for the marriage
This is a solid fact!!! If she were to apply this concept moving forward with kids, basically everything her husband does now would stay 100% the same but her work load would increase BY 100% for each child and her sleep,rest, time to herself decreases BY 100% with each child.
She’s sweet and young and honestly just doesn’t know yet!
As a homeschool mother of 3 I have to say I still do pretty much all of the things around the house, garden and homestead, but my husband often stops for groceries on his way home from work, and I also handed off all of the finances to him after the birth of our third child. He is behind a computer at work all day and often has free time between customers to take care of it all online. And when I am in the the 3 mo postpartum that you spoke of he also helps a lot. But even though I take care of all the domestic chores, I must add, that when my husband gets home from work, the house is not always spotless and the meal is not always ready. I do my best to have things tidy before he gets home and look nice myself, but you are very right about things being totally different when you have many little ones around the house. If you work with your children and train them up they do eventually become good at helping out, but there is still the toddler stage which keeps happening when you continue to add to your family 😅 It is such a blessing and so worth it, but mother's do not need to have entirely unrealistic expectations for themselves. 💛
@@herhomebook exactly, so many homesteading moms who homeschool their kids manage just fine.
It seems it is always the ones who cant do it (their part) themselves that always try to tell the stronger women that 'noone can do all that'. And then they misrepresent the facts about what that 'everything' for her to handel is buy adding things to the list like 'managing finiances' or 'taking out the trash'.
Its funny cus theyre kinda right. A woman COULDNT do it all. Thats why a man will handel the finiances, take out the trash, ect.
This is how I was taught. My parents, my grandparents, great grandparents all lived by these principles. No divorces either. My parents have been happily married for 67 years!❤
That's beautiful!! blessings
This is wonderful❤
Not that women could have divorced, they did not have their own money.
@@kathrinscharrer3923 yes but these days they could've. 67 years is a long time to stay with someone that really makes you miserable.
Same here! I'm in my 60's and didnt know hardly any divorced people till I was a little older.....Most women in our neighborhood didn't work.
Much of this works well in an ideal situation, but I can tell you, as a husband who had these expectations of my wife early in our marriage. This isn't always feasible. Some women are simply not able (due to health issues mainly) to keep a clean home.
Also - regardless of your wife's capacities gentlemen, pitching in when you get home after a long day of work, doing your wife's least favorite household chore (for mine it's dishes) is REAL leadership, when done from a willing loving heart. Your sons and daughters will see you leading sacrificially, they will learn from it, and they will be able to better see love in their own lives.
Thank you for your balanced comment 🙏. Both my husband and I share all duties. 5 kids. Both work full time. We both worked at home when they were little. I ❤️ him with ALL my heart. 30 years so far 😊.... there's different ways to have happy marriages!!
Bravo!
EXACTLY
This is a man who gets willing loving submission
It's a commitment thing. Some people just aren't into that. Too selfish I guess
What's amusing is that none of this was 'untraditional" for hundreds of years
Exactly what I was thinking! How did we get here as a society, considering these things as "unconventional"...this was the norm!
Probably closer to thousands. Like for most of humanity’s existence
Not that I'm arguing against these suggestions.
All of these suggestions provided are great practices for a healthy marriage. (I'm from South Asia so this dynamic and practices are just the default for a lot of married couples)
It's just that your line of argument is a bit wierd. A lot of very bad practices were also "Traditional" for hundred's of years.
Just because something was traditional for a long time doesn't necessarily make it right or good.
It's only been traditional for less than 300 years. Since the quakers. This is a western christian take on families. And we progressed past all that bullshit
@@MattStephenson523 I understand. And I'm not saying these are bad traditions. My parents are like this too.
I'm just saying that their should be a better reason or argument for declaring these practices as good then just that they have been traditional for centuries.
For example, estee in the video provided good and logical reasons for why these practices are good and work in a marriage.
How refreshing! I wish you and your husband a wonderful life. It's so pleasant to hear about a relationship that is based on respect and love. Awesome!
Love it! I see a lot of women commenting how it’s VERY different when you have kids, and I agree. But one thing it seems like a lot of people are forgetting, is that KIDS CAN HELP DO HOUSEHOLD WORK TOO. My 3 siblings and I were homeschooled all the way through, and my mom taught us (the boys too) how to deep clean, do laundry, cook, organize, iron, etc from a very young age. I remember learning how to fold clothes when I was 4 (my dads socks seemed massive). By the time I was 10, I was making 1 meal a week. My brothers took out the trash every other night. Someone always set the table. We always cleaned up after. We ALL deep cleaned the house on Fridays- and I mean DEEP cleaned, like wash the baseboards and wipe the walls if needed. Honestly, it was just part of our life growing up, so it didn’t seem like work, and my mom taught us how to take pride in being thorough and methodical. I still enjoy housework and cleaning as a young woman. Kids can do A LOT of the work around the house, even from a young age. My siblings and I are between the ages of 21-26, and we ALL are very thankful that we learned how to care for ourselves and our environment. And it doesn’t matter what career path we chose (me-physician, brother- military, 2nd brother -finance, sister- college), we all use and have taught the same methods to our friends, roommates, and SO’s. I was a nanny for a while, and if you raise kids early on to do work, be responsible, and take pride in the quality of their job, it will seem less like work, and more of a game. MAKE KIDS RESPONSIBLE AGAIN PLS.
Kids will ask why dad doesn’t do anything. Parents have to set an example
I wanna screenshot your comment, I have a baby boy and I need to raise him this way ❤
I tell my wife this all the time, you have an army in front of you, use them. She won't do it, I go to work 12-14 hrs a day, five days a week, and rarely get a meal or clean clothes. She has never had a job a day in her life. We have been married 25 years in September 2023.
I agree but when they’re little (like 3 and under) it’s just SO much work and I can’t find this trad wife lifestyle possible in this season
I want to see her explain to her sons why they have to deep cleans since childhood and their daddy doesn't
When I was young, being raised in a traditional home in the 1970-80's, and as I was maturing as a young lady, Mom gave me a lovely book called _Fascinating Womanhood._ Since that time, I have gifted the book to a handful of young ladies myself... much of what you say/believe is contained and promoted by the author of that book. So many women are unhappy with the relationships they have, but few realize the power and potential that they're bypassing by living in their "female-masculinity", rather than embracing the miracle and livelihood of female-femininity. If you've ever experienced it, you _KNOW,_ but until one _KNOWS,_ it seems to be a somewhat foreign possibility and way of life. 🙏📖❤️‼️
I got that book recently, it is good!
@Sultana Banana who is the book by? Id like to read it
Thank you for the book suggestion, I’m going to try to find it and do the same! ❤️🙏🏼
I think Estee must have read Fascinating Womanhood. Either that or she is a reincarnation of Helen Andelin herself 😊
Thanks for the book recommendation! Going to gift it to my step daughter! 💜
I’m a homemaker and agree with most of this. I do however make sure my hubby is eating as healthy as he can. That’s for him. I certainly don’t want him to die of a heart attack. So although I follow his requests I also do my part as a wife and educate him on things and make tweaks as i see fit. He respects this as he knows those things are best for him and I’m careful and thoughtful. Just as I know that when he makes a decision I may not love, I trust him completely. That’s a true partnership. ❤
Most successful romantic relationships are not a partnership. One is a leader and one is a follower. That's human nature. What you describe is you being the leader and choosing to let him lead when you decide he should.
@@robertfowler7078 I would agree with this and see your point however there are many times that he leads and I follow. I truly feel we have developed a partnership in that we see each others strengths and weaknesses. Even in emergency’s. There are some emergency’s that I can tackle better and vise cersa. We have also been together for 20 years so it’s a developed situation.
You are a keeper !
This beautiful lady is giving 100% to her marriage, and because of that, her husband gives 100% too and that’s what makes a strong marriage!
How boring
@@Sadune85😂😂😂😂
@@Sadune85 You better kill me
@@Sadune85let me know how excited you get when your wife cheats on you, divorces you and takes half your shit and your children AND you have to pay child support.
Not even close to what makes successful relationships.
This is my marriage in a nut shell. Nothing wrong with this in any way, shape or form. This makes for a happy marriage. It's the way it's supposed to be. I feel sorry for feminist minded women. They miss out so much on what could be a fantastic life because of their brainwashed mindset. Keep up with it sweet Lady. You are a blessing.
exactly. And thei behaviors turn men away from us women.. I haven't been so lucky because of feminists and I hate them for it
It's sad that we muslim women are bashed so much in the media/social media for having these values but I realize it's not just us, those people have a deeply rooted hatred for traditional values in general. It's crazy to me. Keep up with it too, have a lovely day (from an orthodox muslim)(and a believer in Jesus [tho we muslims do not see him as God]). 💕
As a feminist, I would find this lifestyle to be intellectually dull. I stayed home with my daughter for her first year. I'm glad I did & love her to pieces, but needed more variety in my day. I choose to go back to school and it was just what I needed. She was a social little one and nursery school was fun for her. It was a balancing act that went well. Most feminists simply want equality, and very few actually hate men or judge other women.
@@E.Cerulean Jesus is God. No one comes to God but through Him. If you don't believe it ask Him to come to you in a dream.
I absolutely agree. 😊
I did all of what you do, every bit for decades while raising 4 children with him bullying me and trying to get me to make money. He made plenty! He just had no respect for me because I pulled in none. It was a degrading misery. I am so happy for you that you have a man that truly appreciates all that you do. God bless you.
I work 3 days a week long hours. I like that if helps me have some kind of say in my marriage. I don't know if you are still married, but if not that's ok. Men are not traditional so why should we have to be. You put in your 100% of your husband doesn't notice God does. Thank you for being open. This is across a very common problem. I follow (prophet Shepard Bushiri) but any church or biblical council can also give you peace. God bless you & if you are still married please find a way to communicate how you feel. He likely doesn't realize your feelings. Mine didn't, but I let him know quietly and calmly. God bless you. You are a great example to your family.
I’m sorry to hear that. He clearly did not respect the very important role you played. Ladies please may take note, if a man has his attitude you will not change him. This fundamental contempt from motherhood actually comes from feminism. So he’s a feminist. Ladies please do not marry a man like this. You will not change them.
Agree and like our marriage for around 20 years. Kids grown now and wife got bored I got tired. She became the breadwinner and I'm the homemaker. She runs an inn and I do a lot of gardening. I do home improvements, She pays bills. I practice the crafts I've learned having been the breadwinner for many years from home now. She has a thriving social life and is very proud at utilizing and learning skills independent of the family. I'm not tired anymore and she is no longer bored and our grown kids a boy and girls continue to see equivalent value and happiness in both of us😂. Live your best life, its the only one you got😂
Aaaw. I love this role reversal story that works well for u too! ❤ u each needed a break.
Just wanted to say as a young man I really appreciate videos like this because I am looking for a wife with similar values as you have but I am also trying to do my part and set myself up to be able to support a wife comfortably and be a good protector. You will definitely get a lot of hate putting out a video like this but I appreciate it and wish you and your husband the best. 😊
I truly understand your plight to find a good woman to marry, but don't count on finding one you can trust! That's a very powerful five letter word, TRUST think about it would you kind sir?
Make sure you marry a woman and not an actress. A lot of women will, after sleeping around and getting out of rehab, larp as a trad wife, because that's what men are into right now. They might even be good at it, but they will make you miserable.
The way women treat other women is the way they will treat you. So, if they're contentious and passive-aggressive and badmouthing to other women, they'll do that to you. Also, if they put out fast, move on. That woman may act like a tradwife, but she's an empty husk. Get a nice girl who's well-meaning with a good faith in Jesus. If you strive for perfection, you'll end up with a narcissist. Nobody is perfect, but narcissts know how to seem perfect.
Please do not LOOK for a wife. Become the husband and they will find you. Get money, a cool house, build a life, establish yourself. Get comfortable being alone. Someone will kick the door in I'm not kidding. I ended up meeting someone at church we got married 7 months later. We celebrated 15 years last Wednesday and we still haven't had our first argument. First person I ever met that never annoys me. I hope that helps good luck
There are some very good points made by the first three replies to your comment. Yes, establish yourself while you're young and you'll do well with a wife. Find your wife in the church!!! Study the woman you are interested in, before you start dating. Make sure she is a woman of values and has a heart for God. Chances are very high that you will find a good one if that is your strategy.
Be honest. You're looking for a Bubble Headed Bleach Blonde with a huge rack.
I work four days a week and my husband works five days plus weekends and evenings at a second job. I like to make sure the house is a nice environment for us both when we get to relax, since he works more than I do. We are both adults though, so we always talk over big purchases reasonably and come to a decision together. Sometimes one or both of us will compromise. It is interesting learning about other marriages and how they make things work ☺️
Agree. I found number three objectionable and controlling. So many men abuse women in traditional marriages financially, it should definitely be discussed and agreed on mutually.
100% gym is where so much infidelity occurs. Tons of gym associated break ups and divorces even in seemingly strong marriages. I love serving my stay at home wife by cooking, cleaning and helping around the house. I also love my wife in those times when she is sweaty, working and not always put together. I consider myself a traditional husband and my wife traditional. It is fun to serve each other and go the extra mile for each other.
The final say should be his. Take my Parents. For most purchases, Mom decides. Dad does not care. But for larger items, she turns to him to make the decision. They may talk it over, but she submits to his leadership. When you have a good man, that is not something that is to be feared. @@NuggingTheDumb
Your husband is a very blessed man having such a supportive/wonderful wife! Thanks for sharing this video!
And she is blessed to have such a hardworking husband who provides for her! 😊
From a not so young woman to a young woman, letting your husband have the final say is spot on. There has been 2 times that I was inwardly upset that my husband didn't do something I thought we should, but I didn't say anything. Both times he was right. I'm from the 70s generation. And let me just say, feminism isn't what it's cracked uo to be. I love that our next generation of women, at least some of them, are going back to tradition. Don't let anyone tell you different. Oh, I agree with everything else you said, especially going to the gym with him. You're a smart lady!
It’s always the youth that rebels, I am literally seeing young people more encouraged in decency than their own parents. So what you saw as squares back then are now the cool kids. That’s how upside down the world of today is.
Coincidentally, there have been two times where my man went against my advice that cost us more than $50k. Men aren't automatically smarter.
That is literally either just coincidence or he happens to be smarter than you. As a man, I know so many women that are smarter than me. Gender has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence or ability to make good decisions
Men are also not automatically correct. 👍
@@ig7002 no, they aren't. But it's more about trusting God than your husband. Since she put this one point in that context, that's what I was saying, although not explaining it very well.
She takes her family and her marriage so seriously it's SO refreshing to see.
Yep...that's why she actually has them.
Don’t be so naive. She takes her TH-cam revenue seriously! 😂
I can't wait to see how this changes when you have kids.
One, as a mother, I am not a short order cook. I love to feed my family healthy food. My husband doesn't have the time to read about nutrition and what food will give him and the kids the most energy and general wellbeing. I make what I make and you eat it. Must be the Polish in me. This is traditional from what I understand.
The other thing is, I see what you're saying about getting dressed but taking a hot tool to my hair and makeup do not make the woman. I definitely don't want my daughter to think she needs to enhance in any way the already perfect features God gave her. I was very self concious at one point and couldn't leave the house without makeup and doing my hair. You might say, it's not about that, it's about looking nice and presentable but I watched my mom and my daughter's are watching me. We need to think about what we're telling our girls when in order to look nice and presentable we must alter our God given face. ❤
Also, I’m not going to be tending my flower garden in makeup. I like the feeling of clean and smelling good.
Amen!!❤
Amen!❤ Not a fan of the 1950s aesthetic that becomes such fixation for these “trad” ladies. It’s not really biblical.
@@s.a.6082 Define 1950's aesthetic. You sound like a feminist in all honesty. And no, these men are not beating their wives 😂
@s.a.6082 yes, I think there's a big difference between this new "trad" trend and Biblical tradition. ❤️
All of this is true in our marriage as well. 💛 I think many more couples still practice traditional gender roles than the media would have us believe.
I am a “liberal” and a “feminist”. I think Estee’s arrangement is wonderful and I think it’s lovely to see someone who supports their partner so thoughtfully. Unfortunately this kind of traditional family arrangement is much harder to sustain nowadays as incomes have not kept up with inflation; in many households both partners must work out of financial necessity. I hope that some day we can get back to a government / market / economy that supports middle class nuclear families.
What part of you is a "liberal feminist"?
The reason we have inflation and low wages is because of feminism. Women were brought into the work force to drive down wages and to broaden the tax base. Good work comrade feminism.
Congrats You voted for this, don't complain
@@davidtoda1751Feminism is enforced by courts and family law. I thought I was free to be a stay at home breastfeeding mother until I was raided and sent into the workforce at gunpoint
When a third World War happens and ALL ex soldiers get FREE or very low cost HOUSING you'll probably hear of it in the news.
That's literally THE ONLY WAY that happened last time.
And that was AFTER FIRST WORLD WAR veterans got NOTHING after coming home and complained A LOT to their local and federal government about it. Especially since a lot MORE First World War veterans that got lucky enough to even reach home reached it with A LOT more missing limbs and missing sense organs.
I love and appreciate the notion of keeping the house tidy and the breadwinner not having to do too much at home, but when your wife needs help, you help, when she's overwhelmed and struggling you pick up the weight. And if you don't have kid's yet, well you'll need all the help you can get, when you do, trust me, haha!
I also think it's important for men to do some of the picking up sometimes just for their own personal development and mental health. It's a really powerful positive habit to be able to pick up after yourself and also after your loved ones. It can really make you feel on top of things, and be a nurturing practice. And it's also important for keeping people grounded and making sure that nobody in the family feels like they are superior to anyone else. You just can't trust a person who has never cleaned their own toilet, lol!
So you're saying that the woman should do her part, and the man should do his part + the womans part? Smells like feminism.
Why. When I am struggling and overwhelmed at work is she coming in and helping me... Exactly. I have my job she has hers. We live in loving, happily married bliss with this logic.
We have the same rules, pretty much and have been married for 13 years. The only thing i would say is, be willing to revise your arrangement after children arrive. We have 4, and it genuinely did take a lot of flexibility to make "traditional" work for both of us when children entered the picture. Its great to have this setup as the best case scenario, as long as neither of you are giving each other a hard time when little monsters are exhausting you.
Wishing you all the best xxx
A strict household prevents little monsters from even existing.
Esteec, out of all TradWives I think you are probably the only credible TradWife offering decent suggestions to women. 🤗😉
Wow, finally a normal respectable traditional wife who is wise, practical and smart in the way she conducts her household and marriage. It is so refreshing to see another person on TH-cam like you with such strong conservative values and moral decency. Bless you two and I wish you and your husband long life and a very happy marriage.
Respectable? She has her tatas out dancing around in every other video. I’m sure every man wants that 😂 There are plenty of ACTUALLY respectable women on TH-cam like Jennifer L Scott. Notice how the vast majority of Jennifer’s comments come from other women but the vast majority of this woman’s comments are from men. Who is her real audience? Men fantasizing about her.
"I make my house my husband's sanctuary." yeah sure very normal
@@winterviveca5976 there’s nothing wrong with that sentence though. Why would it be a bad thing to try to make your home as peaceful and comfortable as you can for the person you love that’s been working all day?
@@Chefgrlangel sanctuary is a place of cult
@@Chefgrlangel there is NOTHING wrong with that, just don't make it seem that it is the rule, imagine if Marie Curie had been that type of woman, this world needs diversity
My husband and I are very traditional but we have 4 very young children. My husband is the bread winner and works very physically hard outside as well. He helps me with our kids and takes out the trash 🗑️ for us changes poopie diapers and helps me with our boys.
We have been together for about 12 years. We are in our early thirties.
I can tell you, as time goes on, you're gonna want your husband to help you, as far as cute outfits go, that's nice when the babies are sleeping but it's totally unrealistic most of the time when you have poopie, pee and throw up and food in your hair a lot.
We are talking about an 8 month old boy and 2 year old boy and 5 year old boy....it gets messy.
Our oldest is our daughter and she's 9 and she's my big helper.
But I just wanted to mention, I pack lunches for my husband every day I can, breakfast in the mornings, and dinner every night for all of us. I do the shopping, cleaning and laundry and everything else around the house that needs to be done but my love language is acts of service.
Whenever my husband does anything to help me it's a dream come true.
Also when you are breastfeeding 🤱 it's a lot of hard work to keep up. I'm literally so tired and it's very hard along w school getting them ready picking them up.
I get very frazzled and stressed.
I just want to mention these things because as lovely as it is to say, my husband doesn't lift a finger it's not realistic when you have children.
Especially when you have them back to back:
Just keep that in mind because it's not fair to keep up with all these mega beauty standards and then get shunned for raising children that are a TON OF WORK.
As much as I love putting on nice clothes and makeup I'm lucky if I get a shower and I'm not asleep drooling on our kids bed.
I have to agree with this because we are in the same boat. I am not a feminist but yes realistically when u have children especially when they are young u wld want yr husbands help.
Yeah, being a homemaler is probably a very different ballpark once you start having kids. It's just her and her husband so things are much simpler.
@@fendybendy6466 for sure 💯 but he is still the King of the castle 🏰 and I do everything I can to make him feel at peace when he's home 🏡 ❤️ 🤱 🧒 👦 👧
She’s just naive. Give it a few years and a few kids and we shall see lol I remember being so much like this, 2 kids and 3 PCS with the military, no family and one special needs child, health problems, it looks a lot different now
@@Breeandfree right the challenges of children and it not being just about the two of you changes the dynamics completely
I agree with most of what you said, the thing I find weird is that, while you won’t go to the gym alone because of unwanted attention, you’ll wear a low cut shirt for a video and post it for the world to see.
Makes you question her motives huh?
An e thot
Cause she can ❤
We are both mechanics, and have big goals, so one of us staying home isn't an option, because we're both working for those goals.
However, we practice a lot of other great things together. ❤
*We share house work, mainly by doing the tasks we know the other dislikes, or involve the areas where we are mostly responsible for the mess. It keeps everyone happy.
*We share the cooking, by way of making it a bonding moment. He'll grill and I'll prep and do sides and dishes as we go, or I'll cook, and He'll take care of trash, compost, and rinsing as I go, and we use that time to chat, dance around, be goofy, catch up on something we found interesting that day, and so on. It keeps up present in our lives and passes the time in the best way. Now, there are days where the other one is just beat, and we take over just pampering the other person so they can feel light and happy again, which makes the rest of our night so much better.
*we do porch breakfast, or coffee time. ☕️ This is time to tease out things that are frustrating us in a calm place, or just catch up. Sometimes we just ease into our day in companionable silence, but we share that time together so we can have our heads on straight for the day.
*we do positive affirmations. He does mine often in the morning during porch coffee time, because that's the hardest part of my day to get motivated. I do his as he's drifting off to sleep, and before he leaves for work, so we end our time together with him feeling good about himself, and appreciated.
*we don't fight. This doesn't mean we don't have a hard time, or disagree, because we certainly do, we just prioritize stepping back, sitting down eye to eye, and having a conversation in love as a team rather than fighting in anger. We make the priority working together to clarify and communicate until we both feel closure and resolution, or agree to disagree without resentment or anger festering afterward. We take as long as we need for this because
*we don't go to bed angry.
*we talk about our goals, often, because we want to stay on track together and help each other meet our goals.
*we don't have joint accounts for our personal money. We have a shared account for mortgage, repair costs, and general savings for vacation or emergencies, but we also have our personal accounts as well, because we both believe shared accounts can cause resentment, and that the money we work for is ours to use how we see fit. We do however often update one another on how we are doing, as we share goals and invent in them as a team often.
*we talk about s e x. We're very communicative of how it feels, and likes and dislikes. Life is too short to let ego get in the way of a good time, so, when someone says they don't like how you do something, you adjust gladly.
*we have non sexual contact often. We make sure to hold hands, touch, snuggle, hug, forehead kiss, nose book, hip bump, spank, just gently touch, and all kinds of other small gestures to make sure we are getting that metal fulfillment of human touch without the "price" being s e x.
*We date each other. No matter how much time passes, we plan dates and surprises for each other like it's year one still. You never stop dating your spouse.
*we hang out with each other's friends. We are a family and a village together. I can text or call any one of his friends to talk or ask a favor and they are there, and vice versa. We're there for each other and the kids as well.
* we know each others passwords and share phones and electronics often. If it's closer than yours, use it. We've never needed to go through one another's stuff, and we never will, but the option is there.
*we don't put ourselves in potentially awkward situations, or put up with "even remotely inappropriate situations and behavior". If it feels not OK, it's a nope.
*we talk out past trauma and what we're doing to cope with it. Our baggage is not the other persons responsibility. It's ours to work on and better ourselves, and we don't take our insecurities out on the other person.
Hope these help someone!
Very healthy relationship!!!❤
Dear Estee, I agree on all those statements!
Especially trying to get your husband to eat more “healthily” - I feel like that leads to nagging in many marriages.
Also, thank you for supporting your husband in the way you do - what a shining example for young women you are!
As a fellow young wife (albeit with children) I pray for you and your husband and wish lots of blessings on you both!
Congrats on da babies!!!!!😍
Hope you have a wonderful life. Xxoo
Thank you so much for those sweet words ❤ I wish you and your family the best!
@@aliciadupuy9228 thank you Alicia!
@@EsteeWilliams Thank you for your kind words, Estee!
Well said. My wife and I have lived this way for 16 years (13 with a son) and we're both very glad we did.
The only thing I'd add/change is that once you have children (we have 3 under the age of 5), things can change. My husband helps SO much when he gets home because honestly, I'd lose my mind if I had no help after 6am to 5pm by myself. That is one thing that has changed for the good in society; men stepping up as fathers.
Men were always fathers. Just because they didn't help change the diapers doesn't mean anything. After the children are able to speak, the men always do most of the teaching, and preparing them for the real world. Do not diminish men's roles with their children, as without the father, the children turn out to be banes to society, as we see in todays world with children raised by single mothers. It almost sounds as if you are actually a feminist and not a traditional woman... (PS, it is possible to take care of kids on your own, but it's likely you never had any proper teaching. For one, you feed the children at set times, rather than whenever they cry. If anything, it should be easier for you to take care of your children as women with jobs are able to take care of their children alone...)
1. No, fathers very often don't do father things when children are young. After I wnet to school, I started to have relationship with my father. When I was younger - he didn't change even a diaper. It wasn't his fabuły, my mother siletly do everything because this is how she was raised and he didn't do anything because he was raised that it's enough for man to just be at home
2. Single mothers (and fathers) heavly relied on other people. Either it is grandparents or day care - it is imposible for them to take care of their children and work 8+h per day. Same goes for working both parents. Very rarely they are able to set their work hours so children are each parent at all time.
I almost guarantee he works the same hours as you and harder during those hours. Yet you still expect him to pick up your slack because you are too lazy to do the work. I have 5 children. Newborn to 15 and my wife never asks or expects any help. She has tons of down time and we homeschool. Maybe get a better work ethic. Put the phone down. Turn off the TV. Stop surfing social media and get to work.
Absolutely SHOCKING that this is considered untraditional! Girl, you are going to have such an amazing marriage!! These are all great things to implement in a marriage! Love to hear it ♥️
Estee, I think your approach to marriage is refreshing at this time. I’m guessing but I’ll bet your husband counts his blessings daily! My mother-in-law had this approach and was married 67 yrs. Still living at 101 yrs old. Just a happy person!
It sounds like many woman are either frustrated with your approach and don’t want to see the value in this approach. Yes kids can complicate things but not to much really. Having kids is a sacrifice and blessing.
I’ve been the house husband for most of our marriage. Staying home with two boys, all grow now and wonderful guys. She helped often while working rotating shifts. My wife is an amazing bread winner, caregiver( nurse), daughter(with a 101 yr old mother). I’m still the house husband and I ask nothing from her in taking care of our home and she’s very happy, She tells often! She picks on me for being a clean freak but oh well. Now she does the bill paying and procuring of shopping needs/ wants if I ask.
I’m very lucky!! She’s given us an amazing full life.
If you’re happy keep it up, and I hope you don’t feel the need to change your approach. Well done.
Thank u, thank u, thank u!! I'm in my 40's and I grew up very "traditional". Not only am I grateful for the way I was raised but I've implemented that lifestyle with my husband and I love it! It's so nice that a younger generation is keeping this way of life alive! With healthy boundaries and a healthy relationship this type of "traditional" living doesn't have to be looked upon as taboo. Love ur vids!!
Hi Estee! Love your content and how much you love God and your husband! It’s all about shining the Lord’s glory ❤️ I’m sure you and your husband’s life is absolutely much deeper than what we see here on TH-cam. If I could share a thought, with total respect, God instructs husbands to lay down their lives for their wives, and sometimes depending on your stage in life, that can look different. Providing is definitely at a man’s core, but it’s important to remember you both are a team. When the kids come, letting your husband serve you and lay down his life for you in other ways, like changing diapers, making you breakfast because you are sleep deprived, letting you know how much he loves you despite you not looking as put together because you are breastfeeding, all of those things are absolutely priceless. Remember Jesus, apart from dying on the cross, also washed his disciples’ feet ❤️ I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my husband serving me in those ways (we have a lovely 1 year old daughter) especially when I most desperately need it. It’s acknowledging we are all in such a big need of grace, and we are not perfect. It’s all about the heart! ❤️ Anyway, I love your heart and desire to please God with your life. Happy Sunday!
I agree with what you’re saying. It’s hard sometimes to live up to my own standards. My husband will come home and help with dishes if I haven’t gotten to them, because he likes to help, but I don’t make him. Some days I just can’t be this perfect. But I applaud you if you’re able to do it! 🎉
Absolutely like this 💯 ! I'm 42 years old. I have a 10 year old daughter and I'm raising her the same way; that there's no shame in attending to your family/husband or being a stay at home mom/wife. Also have a 16 year old son and raising him to be a well mannered gentleman. Keep up the awesomeness. By the way you're beautiful 😍. Blessings!!
Poor child
Damn. That is child abuse. Your daughter does not need to be raised like this.
Shocking you admit to abusing your daughter so casually. 😢
@@anonemous7720ikr, wtf!
All the bitter females here angry about how she raises her daughter, but are completely fine with how she's raising her son 😂
I have a "traditional" marriage as well...on difference is my wife is the bookkeep for our family and does an amazing job - we plan for large expenditures. Also, we go to the gym together as well..two of my training buddies started to do the same thing! I want to commend you for your bravery on sharing your values in social media and know, you have massive support!
I ABSOLUTELY 100% agree with this! This is exactly the type of relationship/marriage that I dream of.
Any relation to Hannah Barnes?
@@BaptistJoshua Not that I'm aware of. However, I don't know a lot of my dad's side of the family.
@@Bardes82 I know of a Donnie and Hannah Barnes. I think his name is Donnie. He is a Pastor in Rockford, Il.
@@Bardes82 The Barnes used to go to the same Baptist church as I did. I left because it ceased to really be Baptist.
Yes! My husband and I do all of these things except the gym. We both work out at home, so that's a non-issue for us. And my husband works a desk job, so sometimes he chooses to come home and do some work in the garage or he volunteers to help me make dinner, but it's totally his choice and I always tell him how much I appreciate it. Sometimes, he says he's been sitting too much and needs to get some energy out lol.
One thing my husband and I do is we go on a walk together almost every evening after dinner. It's so nice! We take our dog with us, and we hold hands and talk. It's so nice! There's a pond with lot of ducks near our house, so we love to walk around the pond and see all the sweet little ducks swimming around quacking at us.
that's so wonderful 🥺 lucky!!
@@GabrielleTollerson Awww thank you! I married an amazing man, and I'm so grateful for him
@@GabrielleTollerson this is not realistic at all. Wake up from the Leave it to Beaver era.
What a blessing, sounds lovely!!! Happy for you! Hoping and praying to be a homemaker as well!
This is lovely. My husband and I are planning on going for afternoon walks together once he’s back properly from working away, I say the same as your hubby lol, we spend all our time together at home so thought it would be nice for us to get out in the evening now the weather is getting warm here.
Do you have a sister that's single? You are perfect. If you ran for president I would vote for you. Thank you for being you.
I like your message. I did have a good laugh when you said "my husband has a physical labor job, he's an electrician." Good one. all of us guys had a good laugh at that one.
Honestly，the fact that your husband is able to support you both with his job is a win. My friend has a hard time deciding what she wants to do in her life, she says that she doesn't have any skills, but she's such a good cook, she lives with her parents so she takes care of the house for them, and now I understand that's what she was meant to do. And like you mentioned you did have a job but it just wasn't your thing. Bless you and your family! You two are such a beautiful couple, I hope you stay together forever! Don't let the things ignorant people say get to you ❤
Maybe nudge your friend to this kinda content ❤
Well her husband probably was heavily supported by his family. As how most traditional families were in the 90s. Now that societal has progressed past that role play as a means to separate ourself from the countless downsides of traditional families.
When I was younger I I felt I didn’t have any skills. Instead my family pushed me to get a degree and now I have a huge student debt to pay and can’t stay home with my newborn. My heart breaks when it will be time to go back to work
I mean, she makes money off of youtube...
She makes more money then him
Estee, you are an inspiration even to us who have been doing the #tradwife thing before there were hashtags or smart phones. I am so excited to see you grow and develop into who you were made to be! Children do change the dynamic of the household in the most amazing way and I think you’ll handle it with grace and you’ve got a great man to support you.
My family keeps Shabbat. Pretty much all week long I stand on my feet in the kitchen making bread, meals, homeschooling… the children take care of pretty much all the farm chores during the week. So, on Shabbat, I take the day off of my usual labor and I’ll do the farm chores so the children get a break and my husband will do dishes with the children instead of me. They’ll do the food serving, too that day. We all get a break from our typical “jobs” from the week. It’s been the biggest blessing of our lives to keep that 4th commandment. I highly recommend keeping that day set apart into our creator. It’s the #1 tip I give to any biblical homemaker!
I like your values and like the way you lift up your husband instead of putting him down. Respect, love and honor. That's what its all about.
Love love love ❤️ I do all of these things in my marriage. It is so refreshing to see someone else my age who has traditional values. Thanks for being so open! Hopefully more people will learn about how happy this traditional, natural lifestyle is! ❤️🌸
Can’t wait to see more content 🤗
Quit yer yapping woman, and get down on your knees and scrub that floor! When that's done, stay down on your knees and service something else!
Sounds like a great relationship plan!!
As a feminist, I support this bc that’s what feminism should be- supporting women in making their own choices and living a life that works for them. We’re not all the same and that’s ok.
As a feminist you support this? Your movement is one of misandry, stop the cap. 🧢
PTL❤ this ! That’s how Wives are supposed to be ( Ephesians chapter 5:22) I love being a Wife !
#2 will change when kids come into the picture. Even a stay at home mom needs support, especially with difficult pregnancies and postpartum recovery.
I don't know that this is the case in every circumstance. We have two kids, and nothing much changed other than I would come home and play with the kids and do what I could to care for them so my wife could get a break in the evenings after work. This wasn't even specifically to give her a rest, it was just as much because I wanted to spend time with my kids! When they were small babies she didn't even wake me up in the night to feed them since she could nap during the day but I couldn't at my job (and being tired/inattentive in my job can have very serious consequences.)
I actually think that most people, for whatever reason, build having kids into a much tougher job than it really is. Of course it adds new responsibilities and more work to be done, but the joy of children makes it all worth it, and as they get older they become more independent and are able to help around the house to ease the burdens to top it all off. They really don't require the type of constant hovering modern parents seem to think it does.
A husband and wife are a team, and they should always be monitoring how the other is doing. I've sent my wife out of town on vacation with friends for a week at a time while I take vacation time to stay home with the kids when she's needed it, things like that.
Our marriage is very, very similar to what this lady describes, although my wife doesn't really wear makeup often and my job is only heavily physical about 50% of the time (I'm an electrical controls engineer for large industrial process plants. Think chemical plants and gas liquefiers, that sort of thing.)
@@_ClericalError_ So you did "lift a finger" because you're a good man. Many fathers think that hanging out with their kids is a burden.
@@_ClericalError_THIS. That is spot on! Minus the kid free vacation, I’ll have to talk to the hubby about that😂 lol
Nothing should change with kids besides the wife having less free time. A well kept house doesn't take long to maintain each day.
@@robopam If by "less" you mean none, then yes. And if absolutely is difficult to keep a clean house with kids. Not as bad when they're older but when you have three kids under five, things get messy again as fast as you can clean it.
Amen, Myself married 42yrs, my wife was a homemaker the whole time, she had big job, in raising the kids and and taking care if the home, I couldn't do it, and I still Thank God for her everyday, I can't wait to get home after work is done, she is always happy to see me, as I am her. We respect each very much, and we are not the weirdos. Thank you
I’m glad you guys have this relationship and it works for you ; )
I go to the gym by myself to destress from the kids and my day. It’s so relaxing. My hubby does the dishes if I cook dinner and he helps clean up. My house isn’t spotless but I do clean and do the laundry. If I’m sick I look like it. And I am working on establishing a marriage where he is catered to more. But with kids and toddlers I think it is necessary for both parents to chip in with the housework for the sake of sanity.
Going to the gym is harder for Moms once they have a few small children. I expect it will be for her as well.
I applaud your approach to balancing all the important things in your marriage and family! Good for you ❤
The most important thing is to have the household run in whatever way works for you. The biggest help to that is communication. With good two-way communication, there's far less chance for resentment and feelings in one person that they're doing everything.
Amen 🙏
She appears to be all heart. She is not building a house out of wood, hay, and stubble. She is building a house out of stone with her fulfilling her role in the home. She is adding strength to this marriage that the Lord will bless because it is by His design. That is Awesome and way to go Mrs. Williams! 👏👏
This is so wise, and things I’ve been trying to practice for the last decade. I’m not perfect at it, and there’s always room for growth (particularly when babies come), and there are seasons when duties do need to shift temporarily (after birth, sickness etc). But overall, ten years later, my husband and I are still going strong and more in love.
You’ve clued in early, girl. Your husband is so blessed!
I do love your values and in many ways my husband and I were the same for 12 years. Then our son was born and everything got turned upside down. I’ve been preparing for our son’s arrival for years but nothing could have prepared me for what’s coming. After 18 months just now I started to get my pretty clothes out because getting dressed just doesn’t seem important at all when you get weed on, pooped on, puked on, dribble, snot, milk, food down on you, dirt, mud on you etc. I sometimes couldn’t even get to the toilet, have a shower or have something to eat or have a drink. It is not realistic to do everything. In earlier times generations were often under one roof or very close and they got help. I have no family nearby to help so it’s just my husband and I. My time is completely swallowed by catering for my sons needs and doing activities with him all day. Then my husband comes home and takes over when I can wash, cook dinner and do some chores. My husband also prepares all of our breakfasts every morning before he leaves and washes my son’s milk bottles. He also does washing, hoovering and cleans the bathroom every weekend. He cooks when necessary. I wouldn’t have coped without his help mentally. I used to love cooking and baking, dress pretty, organise our home but my son took all our energies. It is getting easier now but the first year was rough, I cried a lot. Of course I gladly put every effort into our son but that doesn’t make it any easier. Enjoy you lifestyle but when or if you have children, don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it xxx
Congratulations on your baby and your marriage !
The problem with Estée is that she doesn't have any children. There's a huge difference between a childless woman and a mother with a newborn.
I'm glad your husband helps you.
I can't imagine being married to one of these RedPill men who wouldn't have helped me or would have reproached me with not taking care of him because of our baby !
Thank you for sharing a realistic perspective. I love her content and when I only worked part time, I lived as she did. However, I'm working full time now because I'm getting married soon and I'm helping save money and even just with me working, the house is not what it used to be. Maintaining a home--cooking all the meals, keeping everything tidy, spotless, and organized--IS a full time job without kids. I can't imagine how difficult it will be once I have them! I'm very fortunate that my fiance started helping me a bunch once I started working and now I can manage it better, but it's so exhausting. Being a mother is amazing, good for you for making your household function and thank God it sounds like you have a lovely husband who lightens your load! It's a team effort. A "perfect" home is nice, but loving and raising children well takes priority and both can't exist simultaneously 99% of the time.
Makes sense
Om the youngest of 6 kids my dad worked 2 jobs and my mom was able to cook breakfast lunch and dinner. Have My dad's lunch ready for him everyday to take the work and had breakfast and dinner waiting for him all the time so don't say a woman with Kids can't do this plus she kept a very clean house.
@@dannystranahan1004 I’ve never said that she or anyone can’t do it all. I only talked about my experience and struggles and I encouraged her to ask for help if she needs it in the future. My mum was the same as yours. Managed it all without a complaint but unfortunately not everyone is this strong.
I love how you are making a home and a safe place for your husband. I used to and still try to, but now that I am about to deliver baby number 9 things have changed a lot. Even though my children do help out they do not know how to clean like the mother does. The littles put their toys away in their toy box, but sometimes they just throw them on the floor next to the toy box. I cannot always catch it because I am usually working in the kitchen or doing laundry. Yes, I think I could do better, and God helping me I will.
Didn't you JUST get married like 4 months ago? Lol, I'm alllll about the tradwife style, but you've got to be married a few more years before you get the hang of it all ;)
Finally someone says this! Life can change so much in just a year and it changes forever once kids come!
I would like to congratulate you and your husband on your 50th wedding anniversary!!!!
Love this 🥰👌🎉
They won't make it past 10. That's assuming she's not an Actress. I have yet to see her husband in these.
That’s what teamwork is about. The last thing a breadwinner needs is his partner working on another team and scoring own goals. Thank you lady! The consequences of not following this principle can be severe.
I don't believe in everything you say, but I think there's a whole lot of value that you offer in your video with the potential to enrich my life. So thank you!
Wow I feel like our marriage is very similar. I’m an IBEW inside wireman electrician, my wife and I are both 25, and she’s been staying at home since before our daughter was born. In the Mexican culture, having the wife stay at home is idealized, and only men who have a good income are able to afford that kind of lifestyle. Her and I both went to university, so we fully understand America’s push for women’s independence from men. Keep fighting the good fight.
Do you need a university degree to be an electrician in Mexico? I live in New Zealand and electricians need to spend one year studying at a polytechnic, then they do a paid apprenticeship. My electrician brother earns a similar salary to me. I'm a registered nurse. RNs need to have a Bachelors degree.
@@kathyryder828 I may have misspoken. We were both born and raised in the USA, but the Mexican tradition is very strong and instilled in the children of migrants. You don’t need a university degree to be a licensed electrician in the USA, but you need to pass your state’s exam, which may require a few thousand hours on the job and in school.
One of the hardest working buttons on planet Earth.
I’m now of the geriatric population (62) but have always maintained this same line of thinking on keeping house, raising kids and caring for my husband. One house rule that I was raised with and continued with our children was no friends calling after 1700 or friends on weekends. Weekends were for cleaning house (we kids had chores) and family time. On the rare pre-planned occasion, we could go to a friend’s house or have them over.
I had a good career in healthcare BUT that didn’t mean anything really changed my routine at home. And now that we are retired I am finding more joy in my home and husband and our children/grandchildren/gr-grandchildren.
So you are not a 100% tradwife since you had a career. You'd be considered as a modern woman by the manosphere !
Congratulations on your family life.
It's so refreshing to see someone from your generation with this attitude and approach to marriage. My wife and I have been married for almost 28 years and have seven kids together. She's homeschooled every one of our kids, and still has several years to go because our youngest is only seven. Since we've been married she's never had an outside paying job. I'm so glad she volunteers for her many jobs, because there's no way I could pay her salary!
@mycenae2 are you faithful to her?
@Julie-vu4jk Yes, absolutely.
@@Julie-vu4jk Are you a modern woman?
I did A.C.E. all my schooling life, which includes a Baptist church school and homeschooling in the 80's/90's. What sort of work do you do for a living that allows your wife to be a homemaker?
Why do you ask? @@Julie-vu4jk
Wow. The world needs more of you. In 33 years of marriage, I never had that. I worked full time, came home, made all my meals most days, did my laundry, cleaned the house, washed the bedding and towels plus did the yard work and garden. Intimacy was once every one to two months. 33 years she left. It was like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders.
Did your wife have a job and if so, what did she do? Did you have kids? Just curious.
@deirdremorris9234 she couldn't hold down a job. She missed so much work they always let her go or she quit. We have 4 grown kids, 2 are in the airforce.
@@deirdremorris9234 No response I see 😂
@@thelegacyofgaming2928 ?
He responded. They had 4 kids. She had some jobs but couldnt keep them. Maybe depressed? There are 2 sides of every story..
While everyone else I graduated with had ideas of what they wanted to do for a career I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I was laughed at for wanting to be a wife and mother. In church where you would expect traditional family values to be taught. 🤷🏻♀️ I married my sweetheart and we had many of the same agreements. He took care of the lawn, car, and garage. I took care of the garden, kiddos, and inside of the house. There were a couple times when I had to work outside the home for being able to put the kiddos in a private school. 40 years later I’m very happy to say that it has worked and we are both happy. Keep going!!
👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾Great for those it works for. I for one could never place the responsibility for my financial well being in another person's hands.
Sounds like the perfect dream wife... almost unreal these days... that guy must be incredibly blessed!
Happy and blessed Sunday, beautiful. Your husband is a VERY lucky man.🌹
Each person sticking to a defined role is great - as long as you’re both young and healthy and can fulfill those roles.
What happens if something happens to your husband? How would you support yourself - and any possible future kids - if he got into a fatal car accident? I mean, God forbid that should happen but sudden, unexpected death takes place every day.
I mean, I guess you could clean other people’s houses for a living. But, unless you’re in a large urban area where people expect to pay a lot for cleaning services, there’s not a lot of money in that.
And, how would your husband cope if something, God forbid, happened to you? Does he even know how to cook? Would he be able to manage any future kids you might have or would you know all the kids’ doctors, teachers, allergies, favorite toothpaste, etc.
You guys are young and, whether you’re conscious of it or not, you think you’re going to live forever. It has nothing to do with being a Christian. All young people of all faiths and no faith think that way - it’s a consequence of youth.
The fact is, rain falls on believers and nonbelievers alike. When hard times comes - and they will - it’s not wise for either person to be ignorant of how half of the family operates. Rigidity has its price.
My only disagreement is on the food. Yes, he is a grown man who can pick what he wants to eat, but poor dietary choices do catch up to people. There's nothing wrong with looking out for your spouse/partner so that they don't end up with clogged arteries.
Word. Most men living on “home cooked,hearty meals” are having pretty bad belly fat.
Do you or her even know what causes clogged arteries? 😊
@@devinnorsworthy9154 Being sedentary, smoking, extra weight, and high cholesterol which is often from eating a diet high in trans and saturated fats all contribute to plaque build up in the arteries. Deep fried foods, butter, gravies, and too much red meat can cause high cholesterol.
Don't listen to them Estee, cook your man an 18 pound Butt Steak every day. Yee hi! Thick and Juicy. Sweet and Meaty!! 😂
@@devinnorsworthy9154 Yes, inflammation.
I think there is a lot of wonderful points here :) one thing I learned as a homemaker and stay at home mom is I can’t do it all though which can be a hit to our homemaker ego haha. But I hope you feel free to be vocal and ask for help when you need it. You deserve it 💗
I totally anticipate the much needed help when we bring children into our life❤ it’s amazing to hear other women talk and share the much needed advice on this matter as well because it gives us a realistic and healthy idea of what is to come. I agree with you and appreciate this comment 🥰
@@EsteeWilliams I miss the times where I could do more homemaking things during the day haha! But children are such a blessing 😊 thank you for your channel and content! You have such a lovely presence. I love femininity content 💓💓
You don't go to the gym without your husband but you constantly post on social media where men thirst for you all the time? I'm curious if you recognize the inconsistency or if you would argue that it isnt actually inconsistent.
Lol yea. She’s actually a very modern wife because she uses social media. Low self-esteem trying to get attention online
@@JA-xq6eq like I don't mean to bash her, but I feel like there is a significant disconnect between some of the things she says and the way she presents herself on social media.
This is SM, this channel is her business and she works for her business as a model. She’s playing this role of a tradwife because there’s morons who think this is real and click on her videos - making her and TH-cam money. It’s basically one very long ad.
The concept of removing yourself before a situation can even develop is so true. I used to talk about this in university to girls who would go out to clubs without their boyfriends and they would look at me like I had three heads. The point is that all relationships have ups and downs. When things are up there is no issue, but when things are down its so easy to find that comfort or attention in another person. Innocently chatting at first, but then one thing leads to another.
She said in another video that they are so horny they can't even have opposite-sex friendships so I guess it's always down for them
@@winterviveca5976😂some people have more self control than others.
@@Silentnomore0 true. aparently not them, though
@@winterviveca5976 which video?
@@andreea4648 "5 rules in my marriage" or something like that
After my wife had our first baby she became a stay at home mom. She practiced everything that you do. We have a very strong and happy marriage after 54 years.
My wife is feral as all hell and does her own thing, and I wouldn't have her any other way.
That being said, I'm glad I actually caught one of your videos on my feed. I see you catching so much flack from so many women, and I wanted to throw my two cents in as well.
You look happy and fulfilled. Keep doing you, and living your best life! To have and maintain a relationship over any period of time is a milestone in this day and age. I've known my wife for over twenty years, and it's nice seeing another functional team navigating this wild and crazy world. Be safe out there, and I wish y'all the best. 🤙
I'm a woman, and personally, I'd love this. He treats me like a queen, and I treat him like a king. Perfectly reciprocal relationship. I'm glad to see people still believe in these types of relationships. Not that the others are wrong.
That's the only kind of relationship/marriage to have! Social media has conditioned people to think that dysfunction and drama are normal.
The problem was that both sides made mistakes along the way, men were demanding respect and authority by being abusive and cheating, not earning their trust and women took that example and apply it to all men as if that meant masculine authority is bad as a whole. Good Authority is found in deep trust and being reciprocal.
My husband and I have a 3 month old daughter so sometimes it's hard to be all done up, but I love it when I make myself find the time. Having makeup on with a cute outfit is not only good for him but our own mental health as well. For me, staying home and working within the home is 100 times better. The sense of purpose is more than I ever realized it would be
I agree. 1. I do not go anywhere that is filled with singles without my husband- a gym, bar( we don't go to too many of these places anyway). Also, I have 2 kids with me all the time and so I try to get all my errands done during the day. I am not out after dark without my husband, it's kinda a safety thing. 2. I try to keep the house clean for him and I welcome his help but I do not expect it, this is My job. Though I will say you will see, when you have kids, sometimes it is harder to keep a clean house. 3. He sets aside a budget for me to get groceries and have some money for spending. He doesn't really question how I spend it, I am expected to shop responsibly , meal plan, and budget for our needs. If I need more, I ask for it, if I want to make a large purchase I ask. He almost never just says 'no'. And I don't ask for extravagant things. If it's pricey then he makes a plan with me on how we will work it into our budget and eventually make that purchase. 4. I struggle with him having the final say on an issue. For our relationship we each have a say. There are some issues where his say is the dominant one and there are other issues that I seem to have a final say on. It depends on what it is. 5. I do not try to change his diet. I agree he wants a traditional man's diet of hardier foods. I try to prepare dinner for him with that in mind. He makes requests at times but otherwise just eats whatever I make happily. Also, I try to have it ready for him immediately after him gets off work. 6. I do try to be put together. I think this one has also gotten harder after having children.
So mostly I agree and it's pretty much works the same way here. Just we each have issues that we may carry the dominant voice or last word in depending. And my duties as a homemaker are to be balanced with taking care of our children and ultimately the children are more important than me vacuuming daily.
I can’t wait till I have some wives like you
I just discovered you and just about wept for joy! As a traditional wife myself, I get ZERO support from family and ( most ) friends.
It is so confirming to discover you!💕 A lot of women in my church ask why I dont " discover my gift of ministry" and get with the program. Serving my husband IS my gift and calling, and serving him is serving Christ!🙂
Very well said!!
Cynthia just please be able to sustain yourself if you divorce. And no, you don’t need to be close to a divorce to be ready for it. You need autonomy is all I’m saying
I'm impressed with this fine woman. She actually puts her marriage first. But by being willing to put herself second, I bet it works out that she's treated like a queen. It's funny that something so traditional seems like a new idea. But I'm happy to see it. There's hope!!
I don't consider having to ask a man for money or things you want (which is literally like you're a child or teenager again, he is her husband not her father btw) or having to cook and clean up behind a grown man is "being treated like a queen." Marriage only benefits men. Women should work and have their own money (just in case something happens). God forbid (i want no bad things to happen to either of them of course.) What if he loses his job, passes away, or leaves her? She has zero money of her own to take care of herself.If it works for her, great. It was never what i wanted to do in life so i haven't. To each her/his own though.
One day when I find the women I want to marry, I'm sending her your channel link, your beliefs and views are so refreshing. Hello from South Africa.
When you find a planet like that please let the rest of us know lol
For modern independent women and feminists, these things are unconventional...for everyone else, they are traditionally time-tested ways to have a happy home for both spouses.
Your husband is a lucky man. Well done. With these points your marriage will last for a life time. I wish there were a lot more women out there with this mentality but they're VERY scarce. I'm okay with that though, I'm not going to whine about it or try and change it, I've got a life of abundance as it is and am grateful for the life I have. All the best to you and your marriage.
What you do is very sweet and thoughtful. My ex had the same impulse when she was younger but as she got older she grew resentful for whatever reason. She wanted to go out to bars and even vacation abroad without me (I was the "babysitter" in these scenarios). Where in the beginning she'd hold my hand to cross the street. The "girls nights out" I did not mind (BIG mistake) but I put my foot down when it came to holidays on the beach in Cuba without me.
She ended up leaving me saying I'm controlling and some other adjectives I can't remember. Now she's with a dude that doesn't allow her to wear a dress or heels or makeup in public or to listen to music (something about the devil). Actually her own mother isn't allowed to enter her house or interact with her young children now. That's just the tip... She moved up in the world... LMAO.
I tell her jokingly she might be better off now had she just been an obedient little wife but she'll still call me controlling. LoL. Oh well. At least I can laugh about it now.
This is inspirational, it has helped motivate me and it will helps millions of women thank you. Stay blessed in the name of Jesus Christ Amen🙏
Was Jesus a fan of showing off the gazongas on every possible social media platform? 😂😮
@@kbrewski1 Nice name very original, I dunno know what kind of drunken stuper you came from; but you obviously don't have the peace of a stay at home wife. I feel bad for you 😔
And with Those... youre doing a Perfect Job !
This stuff is 100% true, the only reason someone would take issue with this is if your husband is a jerk or you’re scarred by other men. It’s an unfortunate but common issue for women to feel like they can’t allow a man to take care of them. It ultimately stems from an unhealthy relationship, and unfortunately there’s a lot of those. Funny how the same people who think women have to compete with men and bash men, are the ones promoting sexual “freedom”, which lets men take advantage of you… if your husband is a gem and he loves you, he will not control you or make demands and boss you around. Too many scarred people imposing their painful experiences on others and claiming it’s the norm.
We are about to celebrate our 12th anniversary and though I am responsible for all the chores in our house, when my husband gets home he gets to play with the little ones and keeps them busy, he also changes dirty diapers and during the weekend he usually prepares a meal nor two (he likes to grill on Saturdays); we have 5 children, 10 and under so expecting him to just sit and relax from 5-10 pm would be ridiculous. Thankfully he is a smart guy and understands that moms also need a little time away from the children . So again all these are wonderful guidelines to have a happy marriage but once children start to come in, things may change a little 😊. And I still do my best to look presentable when he gets home, having 5 children is no excuse to look like a hot mess.
Looking like a Marilyn Monroe of the 2020s. You better believe he locked that down
I would love to see a post-child version of this. I love her heart for her hubby but I hope he’s not a “I don’t change diapers” kinda guy for her sake unless she has in-home help 😅
Yea I was thinking the same. A messy house hits different when you add children. I love how put together she is, but I wonder if it will last after no sleep, all night nursing, all day childcare, cleaning, meals and no help.
Exactly my thoughts! I have 2 well behaved children (their toys are always stored in their right places) and the house was never the same after them
@@theseeker4700 YESssssssssssssssss oh it will change
@@theseeker4700not to mention healing postpartum on top of nursing if she breastfeeds
I was wondering the same thing but wondering if she’ll be as put together after children.
I’m 17 and I desire to be a traditional woman!
Thanks, Estee! It is super important to share your financial health with your spouse. A monthly meeting to go over budget, expenses, forecasting and reviewing your investment portfolio...sharing all the details of what both people spend and looking into the future with investments - super important to have vision into the entire family economic plan!
This channel is monetized which means she is not living a “trad” house wife existence. She’s making money with these videos. Her channel is growing quickly. As someone else who also has a 100+k subscriber base on TH-cam I can guarantee that within a year she will be making more money than her husband is right now.
That right there will change the entire dynamic of this relationship. He’s the “breadwinner” that’s gone when she’s making more than him.
She’s also only been married for 4 months. She has almost zero experience in this, at least she is securing her future by building this channel.
Everyone watching this thinking it’s real, you’re foolish. This isn’t 1958, there wasn’t social media and the big bucks that can come with that back then. There are too many modern realities with the timeline that we are in. This is fake and she’s making a lot of money doing it!
Thank goodness there are logical people in the world like you…
Your should be a top comment. Thank you!
My wife isn't making any money and it's real for us. Maybe you just don't know as much as you claim. Sorry you struggle with accepting that her life and relationship brings her happiness since it goes against your entire belief system. I am also sorry for your attendance at your local government funded indoctrination center. That's why we homeschool.
@@robertfowler7078 so, she’s not only a slave to you, a cook, cleaning lady, day care provider, nurse, etc, she is also a teacher. You do realize that she should be making more money than you with that many job titles!
If you really respect your wife and honour what she does, you should create a bank account solely in her name and provide her with a paycheck each month that represents all of these job positions that she has. She deserves that if you really do love her. I’ve already stated the statistical probability that you will leave her in 10 years and she’ll have nothing and no skills to even keep a roof over her head. You should be paying her if you think she is that valuable.
I don't know if it's great (it is) or just sad, that this is viewed as odd or strange. I grew up in this type of family and it was the norm at the time. I am PROUD of having my mom at home and it made me who I am today. My wife works by choice, but waited until my kids were grown.
Our kids.
@@Marwadear512 Why thank you, grammar police - or........ maybe they ARE my kids... 🤔🤫
This is beautiful. I think more marriages would last, if more women were like you, and more guys were like your husband. Thank you!
P.s. probably never getting married, unless I knew this would be my life!
To feminists who bristle at this you need to understand that these things make most men feel loved. It took me years to figure out but when your husband feels loved and respected he will reciprocate in ways that make you feel loved.
A marriage is nothing without harmony. I'm finding that the old fashioned ways are the best and it's been working for me 10 years so far.
I'm not sure why people think you can't be a feminist and a stay at home parent/ wife. I'm both. Married for 20 years.
@@kathyryder828 but why are you a feminist? A lot of people that watch this content seem to be against feminism
This x1000 , men don't want women who insist on competing with us on everything. Women who do that come off as masculine and it's a huge turn off. Feminists just don't get it.
Well I as a single man, am inspired by women like you, to make myself the best I can be, for myself, my kids and family.
Also on the off chance I meet a woman with values such as these, so that I'll be ready to provide and be a real partner for perhaps the first time of my life.
she inspires me so much! 🥺
If that's the case your wife gonna be lucky 🙂 , cause it's actually difficult to find somebody who cares for these things these days
@@Jasmin-5678 I've tried things my way, and also failed enough to know when it's time i change.
It is a rough world out there, but that doesn't mean give up, just means keep moving and be better for it.
That's why (even in an imperfect world) traditional gender roles are ideal. Men want to be better to be suitable for a traditional woman. Women want to be better to be suitable for a traditional man. It's a win win!
@@irenem3854
A lot of men and women don't want relationships with traditional gender roles, and that's okay.
I agree with alot of your words.
Im such a overthinker and workaholic and i stress out about anyone doing something i can do just fine so personally i think i would manage just fine while my future mate is away and i do my duties and children but i dont think i would ask much of him chore wise around the home unless he feels like helping me out when he is possibly bored. When he finally returns home i wanna track how much time he has to relax and then sleep and let him relax after work and when he feels jumpy again he can choose to wrestle me😳.... Or spend time playing games or excersise with the kids😊. Id be much happier he relaxes and spends time with kids first and then me while i mind my business and get the stuff in house done and once im done i will watch him play with kids and join when he offers me to join and then when the kids are put to bed its fair game for me and him to have fun or just go to sleep to recover haha
"my husband gets the final say, so if I want to make a purchase and I am not talking about grocery shopping, I mean somsthing extra I always go to him first anyways but if he says no and puts his foot down then the answer is no" and that's exactly the reason why economical independence is so important for an adult (female or male), if that's your lifestyle and you're happy (which I can see) good for you, to be honest I couldn't stand having to ask my husband for buying things that I want, that's why having a job is very important for me and I always suggest the importance of economical independence when talking to other girls about this.
👏👏👏
Good for you. Enjoy your life and let tradwives enjoy their lives with their husbands.
So you put your career and having "independence over your family. That's your choice. Doesn't mean it's the only one or the best/right one.
@@robertfowler7078 Just like men put their independence before their family , women are not the slaves of the house.
Women's dreams are important just as men's dreams.