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Im an intj and its one of the things they say to me at first, its like a first impression to us 😆 but its funny it helps us not to be approached by people who are not worth our time
I've been thought cold by my husband and from his perspective I really was. I just had a different way of thinking and doing things. And since I do love and care about him, I did try to phrase things in a way that he would understand and it works for the most part. He's also a lot more understanding now of how I am. He just gets frustrated cause he sometimes think I don't love him as much as he loves me. As I've grown older, I've learned how to communicate better to people - most of it is just learning to be more patient.
As an INTJ, I don't care about winning. I often get bored with competitions. It's about getting better, achieving high levels of achievement, in areas that I choose. Anyone who is better than me has my high regard and I want to learn from them. Yes, I am actually happy for the success of others, and for my own.
Learning that I’m INTJ has saved my sanity because I was almost sure I had sociopathic traits such as lack of empathy, not being able to console people, spending so much time alone on purpose, etc. I can relate to 95% of the video. I hate small talk but I like gossiping with my best friend. Relationship is the hardest part tho. I don’t like most of the men who like me. None the less I enjoy being INTJ even if I am a white crow.
On point, I thought there was something really wrong with me. Being a female people don’t understand when you don’t fit into the stereotype. I also felt that being INTJ feels like choosing to be good because we can very well swing the other way and plan a perfect crime.
I’m an INTJ woman. Recently, a man tried to tell me some version of “you can do it.” I was really offended that he thought I needed his encouragement 🤣
Isn't it awful? A few years ago I decided to try expanding my knowledgebase by delving into machine learning and data science. The number of programs that are catered toward "women in STEM!" with pink websites and a focus on equity in science was appalling.
No the problem with that is that they want it to be reciprocal. I dont go around encouraging people since i assume if you are hired, you should be able to do your assigned tasks . So if someone comes to me with a lot of encouraging talk, they themselves are likely to be needy. It doesn't bode well.
Middle-aged INTJ woman here. I really wish I wish I had understood my personality type earlier in life. I used to actually wonder if something was wrong with me as I was so different from other women. In graduate school I met another INTJ woman and we became best friends! It was so healing to know there were others like me.
INTJ woman retired Marine here. 65. Own my own home, land, and live alone (by choice). I have three significant relationships that have proved true over the years. I'm happy, and it confuses many. In buying my property last year, I'm learning how to do carpentry, fixing machines, and plumbing. At first if I got it wrong, I'd call my expert. My go-to guy asked why i just didn't call him before i screw it up. I told him, "How will i master these projects if i don't try?" He was quiet after that. He suggested i call him ahead of time on projects i don't know and he'd train me. This goes against my independent streak, but logically made sense. I'm good with that. Being 100% disabled, causing me pain when trying to get these physical things done, his training helps me get it done easier.
As an INTJ woman I can relate to all of these, and I think that male and female stereotypes is very problematic. But it doesn't just effect women, many men feel like they have to hide their emotions, and many women is not being tacking seriosly because we are seen as sensitive, when in fact it comes down to being a F-type og a T-type.
@Nadja I absolutely agree 💯 The stereotypes are very problematic which leads to so much confusion and misunderstandings when someone "doesn't fit" into those stereotypes. Thank you so much for leaving a comment and for taking the time to watch! 🙂👍
I recently found out that I am INTJ-A, and that explains why I never fit in with my peers. I am wired very differently from other women I know, and they often find my reasoning out of this world. I guess that’s why I am watching this video to better understand my personality traits.
Yes coz were always misunderstood i just find out im an intj whrn i take the test and it explains why i feel different from other women or other people i thought im weird at first 😄 but now i understand it more
As an INTJ female I have only one insecurity - I am not feminine, even tough I would like to. I try to compensate with looks, but my character seems hopeless.
Honey, none of us are! Our stoicism and our honesty are considered masculine traits. I love skirts and dresses. But I also hate the time it takes to get "girly." INTJs are very much function over form people. I'ma throw on jeans and a t-shirt if I have stuff to do, and save the dresses for somebody's wedding when it is truly expected of me to "clean up nice."
@@mojyoqueen350 ya see... This is my problem. As a black female INTJ, I am most comfortable wearing 14 rings, 2 chains, corduroy pants, a white button up, and Military issued boots, and a head wrap.... HOWEVER.... If I dress like that people get nervous and we don't need a frenzy. So... I wear colorful dresses and 6 in chunky heels with fishnets.... And that's still too offensive!!! So.... When absolutely necessary, I business casual with a large diamond-ish ring with calculated natural looking make up, and a modest head wrap. Gotta keep them guessing... Cuz if anyone knew what I was really plotting........... Well...... 🤫🤫🤫
INTJ woman here. Hiding emotions is so on point for me! I'm weirded out when people "ooze" them all around. But on the contrary - I like housework. I did what I could to improve in it so I can do it quickly and move on to some more productive things :)
I'm an INTJ man and I do all the housework. It's part of being self-sufficient and independent. I tried hiring people to do it but they don't do it the way I like it nor understand my instructions.
@Tagene Brown-McBean Well, hey there! That was such a good way to say it - "planning is like breathing to me." So true! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment and for watching! 🙌🙂
If its a matter of obtaining information vital to do work, we will mine it. But if we need to, its likely to be a dire state ... Like too many female employees.
@@Im_ritika_21 we work all our problems out rationally. The best argument wins. It's idyllic. Learning to argue properly is the key to a good marriage. I’ve been very happy with him
@@zhongmeiyin7462 we both have serious health challenges so it's not as if life was a cakewalk but a good marriage accounts for at least 75% of life's happiness
Im an INTJ, my daughter is one as well. We get along very well and frequently talk about how different we are than most people. Intellectual conversations are frequent and appreciated. I am trying to give some guidance on things I've learned to use people skills; which do not come naturally. It took many years and frustration to learn enough to not always feel like an outside. Girl INTJs are special.
Hey that's true, even me and my mother are INTJs...we both suffered alot in relations and that leads to physical illness as well..but one thing is damn sure that, whatever the situation is ...i am so intelligent enough to tackle them!!
I'm an INTJ woman and I'm terrified of dating apps. Like I try them sometimes, but Everytime when I scrolling, I read each guy like an open book and I see all the things that don't suit me immediately. I just don't give anyone a chance. I tried to get to know people better, but I was even more disappointed by the lack of communication. Or I got bored soon. I have friends, I'm pretty social, but i can see all the problems, which I can get from a guy as soon as I see him. And evetytime I visit dating apps I think something like "ugh, how can people be so much disgusting?.." I know, this is arrogant, but I feel guilty when I think like that, so I never voice it. I don't wanna hurt anyone, that's why I try to be patient. But this comment is anonymous, so I'm writing it🤟🖤
I totally understand. I don't use dating app ofcourse. And real life, someguys hitting on me sometimes. But I don't know what to do so I ignor them all the time. I really don't know what to do. there was a guy talking about his collecting shoes, then I changed a subject then we never meet again. He was hot and cute, But I igore him. Why did I do that? Stupid!!
I am an INTJ female ( tested with psychometric tests). I can relate to all these points BUT I did stay with and marry a useless man. Got rid of him eventually and now I am married to a successful executive that respects and love me for who I am and does not control me. It was so empowering to learn about the INTJ female. I now understand myself better and why I would rather be part of mens conversations because they mostly talk about real stuff
My fiancé did the same thing for five years. He was a very sweet man and she picked him to balance her toxic prior life. And in addition they were both young.
I was with a loser girlfriend, she eventually cheated on me. I want to know how to move on and find better. I know that there will be better, I want to find someone who can put up with my INTJ women lifestyle. There have been people who said they wants me, but they online like the idea of me.
I can feel you. I wasted 10 years of my life with a useless INFP. He followed me around and put up a facade for 7 years around me, and the moment I moved in with him he showed his true colours. Worst part is that I was never his 1st first priority, his world revolved around others. The more time goes on after I seperated from him , the more I'am realizing the red flags which were present since the beginning. But I wasn't good with human interactions, and he fully took advantage of that. I have a lot to do to overcome the damage, still working on it though
May I ask in what way was your ex useless? How was he as a partner? I'm an INTJ and at times I wonder if it's reasonable to think a partner is not doing enough or it's just me having unnecessarily high standards for a partner. Sometimes I feel confused what to do.
For a personality type that who has disdain for anything that would make her seem average or mediocre, it's surprising to see them use 'strong' as their go to self-descriptor. Personally, as an INTJ myself I would see an INTJ woman as capable more so than strong.
As a female INTJ I find this very accurate. Yet most people around me consider my difference a sign of less socializing and mental issues. It's difficult for them to believe a woman doesn't fit the usual stereotype. This video can be a good way to let people know how I function without wasting time in explaining and arguing 😂 although I doubt they'd leave me alone
Before I found out that I’m a INTJ woman I thought I didn’t have empathy from my response to others drama/trauma dumping me!!! All of the things listed are spot on!
Envious INTJ man here. I've only met one INTJ woman in my entire life and at the time, neither of us were in a place to maintain a relationship. Congratulations for hitting the jackpot!
As a female INTJ, this clip was 98% accurate, almost unnerving. It has taken me several years to embrace the way I am made, it wasn’t a fun journey, but it was SO worth it!!!!!
I'm a female INTJ. "Dont try to control her" it's true. I will do what I have in mind to do. And I will do it without the huge emotional protestations. I'm very decisive. I loathe group projects, I feel they are a waste of time, too much talking but not enough doing. I can engage in a social setting, but i need to know where and for how long. My social battery is about the size of a AAA.
I am INTJ girl i think this is all true and relates to me.I am an engineer but also almost a chef in our house i take responsibilities to household chores ,people around me they call me you don't have a heart but actually i think iam emotional inside,wherever there's a challenge for learning i go for it and try to win.
I'm a born again Christian intj woman married to a more traditional Christian intp. He's very controlling by nature and its been extremely challenging with many screaming fights and threats of divorce from my end. On the flip side, it's also been years of personal development becoming a wife and mother of four. Both he and one of my children are disabled. It's been a very difficult life, but I've learned a lot and I'm hopeful for the future.
I’m a tested & verified INTJ. I agree that I share most of these points. I wilt or rebel in situations of being controlled or micromanaged and relationships are really difficult for me - I have to remember that most average people aren’t like me at all - especially in the way they think or emote so I have to meet them at their level. That’s hard sometimes and makes me feel like a black sheep. It’s true that I can’t stand small talk - I can manage when required but it’s a miserable experience. Boyfriend? That’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack - especially when I’ve been told by other men and women that I’m “too smart,” and “intimidating.” Thankfully I didn’t want kids and I really like my alone time. Having pets - 🐱 cats, independent like me - helps. 😅
What's interesting is there seems to be a correlation between INTJ, personality, types, and trauma I don't know how directly correlated it is, but there seems to be a common thread that this personality type develops out of survival, which can come with its own issues
What men need to understand about INTJ women: If you need to be needed, keep walking. If you like drama, pound sand. And, if you betray us, we will put you in the rearview and NEVER look back.
This is the absolute truth! Mess with my trust or sense of moral integrity, thrive on chaos or drama or are an emotional leech? Wave goodbye because you have instantaneously become a closed chapter, welded shut and there is no going back.
@@H0lolo A person who needs to pull constant emotional support from others to get through the day. Comes in many forms but mostly needing/wanting/expecting continual praise and approval for even the most minor accomplishments. An INTJ will not be shoveling out sugar to another adult. And we’re not good with surfing emotional tsunamis that are thrown our way. We do not understand disproportionately emotional reactions. “Feeling” is not our strength. We aren’t equipped to give what the needy one craves. It’s exhausting, both physically and mentally, and everyone ends up frustrated.
@@susanq8925 Yes , now i understand. This is also something i actually like about intjs because they offer praise for genuine efforts and not for every minor thing so when an intj praises me it actually means alot to me same with their time i know how much intjs value their time if despite that they are spending their time talking to me even if it's less it just make me feel so important . Yes intjs are better at offering solutions then emotional support, but I still prefer being around intjs because it just makes me want to improve myself and achieve more sometimes just to earn her praise, i am an infp male i am a feeler so sorry if anything i wrote seems illogical.
I am an INTJ female. I wanted to be a stay at home Mom. I saw being a Mom as the most important job there is. However I treat Motherhood as my lifes work. Homemaking is my career. I am very diligent and intentionial about how I raise my children and the expectations I have of them. I am not like other Mothers.
Same! I never thought I'd be a SAHM, but my priorities changed after I had children. I eventually learned to love being a "household manager", and my love for systems really helps out, lol.
U r an exception. Most intj females don't prefer being just housewives. We like to be in control and be financially independent. 'Work' is important. Especially that pays n gives u an identity.
Well, as an female INTJ, I've cold face and people think that I'm a nonsense and selfish person, and when I judge about something people around me think that I'm a toxic person
I disagree with two things. 1. Housework is just life. You need to know how to do it well whether you're single or not, just don't expect an INTJ to be the only one contributing to it in married life. 1. The carrying the box. Yeah, do it. It subtly demonstrates that you are willing to contribute to the relationship even in minor details. It's like a first step in an application process.
I am intj and I hate house work although it's nessary. It's the most boring thing I do. We as an intj have our differences and similarities. that's what I learned.
Yes. Housework is just part of living, and it's necessary if you really want to be independent. For me, as much as possible, I avoid having people in my house, so being good at housework doesn't require other people's services. I'm also quite picky and specific on my food, so I cook my own food. The frustrating part of it is when you live with people who expect you to do it for them and just because you're a woman, it is your job. NO. It is everybody's job.
I like cooking and gardening, but it is because I get deeply into these topics and am rather an expert at them. I also find my home creates a safe space for me where I can be alone.
As an INTJ-T with fibromyalgia, this resonates because i cant work and my husband is sole provider. Im constantly trying to figure out how to get better so i can earn income and feel equal. I do a lot at home but i always feel something nudging me to contribute financially. It scares me to be honest that im in so much pain i am dependent on someone else to provide for me. I am incredibly grateful but it is really challenging. P s,. I always do that ackward shoulder pat when someone cries😬
This is me. I DID, however, become a stay at home parent; I think this was because educating my children at home in order to provide them with as few limitations as possible became a huge goal and challenge. I was able to also have other meaningful work at home by growing our food supply and expanding and improving the operation year by year. This fulfilled the need for independence and self sufficiency. Because I do not care what others think and am not engaged by competition, I could live out an unconventional life very easily, while others were working their way up corporate ladders or just trying to do what was "expected" of them. The constant desire to learn and improve is SO true! I read voraciously and always a lot of non fiction. My husband and I have very defined roles, based totally on who is the expert in any area! I do not like to be forced to tolerate standards that are less than mine. And solitude. Precious and preferred over most everything. So fascinating.
INTJ woman here. Most of this is correct. As for emotions, my empathetic abilities have been honed to a fine edge over 60 years of working with dressage and USPC horses, especially hot-blooded and ruined horses. I am quite passionate as well. I was lucky enough to find my soul mate and we were happily married for 42 years. He was an ENTJ, but close to the center of the E/I spectrum. My few, life-long friends describe me as not “suffering fools gladly.” 😁 Dressage and 3-day Eventing are two of the few Olympic sports where women compete against men, in a highly dangerous setting. We win, too. Still able to ride, though I haven’t completed in a very long time. Still riding at 75 was winning enough. 😊 And after riding the horses I rode, no mere man scares me. Horses are always the mirror of the rider and teach one intense introspection and self-knowledge. They were always my Zen Masters.
I will forever be grateful to the employer who made me take the MBTI as part of the interview process when I was 30. All of a sudden, everything made sense. I've taken it five times since then, and my numbers just keep getting stronger. I think I got one INTP, but I was probably hormonal that day.
I am, of course, an INTJ female and cannot tolerate this one phrase: "calm down". 100% agree with not trying to control her. I despise that, as first hubby tried. He became ex-hubby. His main insecurity was our I.Q. scores, weirdly enough. Mine is higher than his and he did not realize that. He is narcissistic and a mommy's boy and he actually screamed and argued with me. He wanted to be able to put on his resume that he was a member of MENSA. He is of average intelligence and there is nothing wrong with that. Mine has always been high enough for membership into the round table and he punished me for it. Reiterate, ex-hubby and I am independent as hell, getting ready for law school at 44.
The moment someone says calm down is a cue for me to focus on myself more because they aren't listening to you. And with that when they say calm down you can be in total control and level headed and not freaking out. So I just look at how they use that phrase and when they use it then I judge them.
I’m an INTJ female. I’m retired now, and really happy not to be trying to fit in at work. It’s great to be away from social pressures. Everything they say here is true. Being a rare personality is very difficult. I haven’t found that people are interested in what I think or feel. So life is easier and happier now. I’m in a long term relationship and I’m delighted with it, but I probably wouldn’t choose to be INTJ given the option. It’s hard to constantly be misunderstood. What I would miss if I were another type is the clarity of thought, and the freedom you have when you’re not motivated by societal norms. Fitting in must be fun, but there’s a terrible price to pay, particularly if you’re female.
1. Requirement: someone she can respect: it’s easy to be respected for one’s traits by people who don’t have them, what she really wants is to be respected by someone she respects for the same traits. Yes, they may not be exactly equal but need to be able to surprise each other once in a while, and to challenge each other with the right questions. Communication between them may be largely unspoken, almost telepathic.
Before I got married at 21, I assumed that I would do all the housewifey things my mother and grandmother and aunts did. They were farm people who worked hard at cleaning, cooking, canning, gardening, and they did crochet, knitting, sewing, all the usual stuff that wives did in the 1950s. My husband even asked me before we were married if I would do canning and I said yes, assuming that I would. I didn't know myself very well, but how was I going to go from being a bookworm to super wife? I never did do any canning because I considered the fact that jams, jellies, and canned fruit used a lot of sugar, which is unhealthy and kills the flavour of the fruit. It seemed like a lot of work to get diabetes. I didn't like cooking; my husband was better at it and more interested in it than me. He was really bitter that I didn't do any canning, and ten years later, he tossed it in my face that the first time I cooked a roast, the centre of it was raw. So what? I didn't know that I am literary and artistic, not a domestic goddess. Besides that, I didn't realize until after we were married that he was an alcoholic; his drinking distressed and depressed me a lot. I very much prefer to live alone and have only my own messes to clean up, to have silk flower arrangements all over the place without a man objecting to my taste, and to keep whatever hours suit me. I like to wear pretty clothes and have pretty stuff. When I was 19, I was forced to share a room with a girl who was mannish and I hated having to look at her grubby sneakers on the floor and her BB gun leaning against the wall. I wanted my room to look pretty with pearls and flowers and lace. Are there other INTJ women who like pretty stuff and enjoy their femininity? I like being practical, but I also like being creative. I use both sides of my brain.
I absolutely love being feminine. I love makeup, beauty, and fashion. I love that I’m in a male dominant career. Other women I work with typically don’t wear makeup or fix their hair. Also my hobbies are male dominated. So I’ve been an Engineer for most of my career (before becoming a Director! 😁) And I’m the most feminine engineer at work, the most feminine motorcycle rider, and the girliest mountain biker on the mountain!
@@SmooochyFace I liked being the only girl in my Industrial Power class in high school. That was in 1971. The school counsellor was great, making that happen for me. I wanted to understand what my boyfriends were talking about, who were into cars and motorcycles. I would have learned more, if the boys didn't keep pushing in front of me and saying, "Here, let me do that for you." I put up with that until I finished cleaning some doomahicky with ball bearings and a boy grabbed it out of my hands, saying he would pack it with grease for me. That made me mad and I grabbed it back. Packing the grease was the part I was looking forward to. I also enjoyed going out with the guys after church or hiking with them in my thirties when I was single again. I wasn't interested in dating. I was learning that it is more fun to just be friends with men, than romantically involved. Most of the men I hung out with were in their twenties. Many times, I was the only woman in the crowd and they were interested in hearing my feminine perspective. When I was in a job club, after watching how I interacted with the men, the facilitator asked if I had ever worked in an industry with men. Yes, I was the secretary in a shop that made cabinets, the only woman there. She said she could tell that I enjoyed working with men. I find it interesting to figure out how these creatures minds work.
i was accused of being heartless and cold. these are the worst words to hear, especially from family members who you care about so deeply and make sure they are taken care of on many levels.
I'm an INTJ women and every single point is accurate for me. But not every INTJ female will be same. For the household, some people are disagreeing, for me it's true. I can do housework it's part of our lives, but I know it's just not my thing. I cannot be a housewife. For relationship, I am forever single. I have no interest at all to share my life with someone else.
I’m also an INTJ woman. You have got most facts right. Except I have worked part-time since having my children. I also would have been a stay at home Mum in the early years if I wasn’t lucky enough to have in-laws to help. It was logical to work part-time if we were to raise well rounded children. My youngest is now 13yrs & I still work part-time. This is so I am involved in their lives & there is someone to take them to their chosen activities after school. I also don’t mind housework. I prefer to live in a clean relaxing environment instead of looking at a mess that is not encouraging thinking. It also means that I am not wasting time looking for something. I know exactly where something is.
I agree that this is the typical INTJ personality traits. But sometimes other factors can come into play that may alter some of these traits. Not all situations do we have control of. Life can throw some curve balls, which can break an INTJ’s comfortable traits and cause us to have to work an alternative route to fix the damages made. I would not agree to the saying, “you would not find an INTJ as a housewife.” True we are highly driven by the need for a successful career, as I do have. But there are INTJ Mothers, Wife’s, and we can balance being a housewife with a successful career all at the same time. Example, I work remotely as a Software Engineer / Cyber Security IAM Analyst who’s always learning more to develop depth to my skills. But at the same time, I am home with my kids, cooking, cleaning, teaching them, and pampering my husband as I am devoted wife. I also plan for future financial security, because your right, I don’t want to rely on anyone else for my financial needs or my family’s financial needs. So why I do follow all these typical traits, an INTJ can also be a housewife. We can do it all.
Another INTJ here - it isn't so much that we hide emotions as it is we refuse to let emotions rule our minds. Also on housework - everyone has housework, but we are extremely efficient at it. People who don't have housework are either lazy, liars or the ultra-rich.
So I made the test and it seems like I am an INTJ woman. This is so helpful - I always thought I am strange / different / an alien :D . I agree with most of these points except that I do show my emotions (at least partially, no drama though) and I can also to give others emotional support. But I had to learn this, it is not something that came naturally to me.
Same. I don’t like group projects because my classmates remove a good idea from the project. When the teacher speaks to us about what we could improve, my idea is usually told there. It annoys me everytime. Happily, now people don’t interact with me much and let me work alone in group projects now.
Im an intj woman but im not really confident with myself and im definately wasting my time these days, i just can't do things like i used to anymore, but i relate with everything else though
INTJ’s are the mover and shakers of the world whether than are a man or a woman. I am an INTJ and I want an INTJ man - a power couple if you will. There are not many out there. If an INTJ can’t get what they want they will NOT settle. They would prefer to do without.
Yes,I am a INTJ woman. Thank you for this video. I always watch this channel. I love knowledge and library. Please don't control me. I want freedom for deep thinking.
@トボガン滑り Thank you so much - you are very kind! I am glad you are getting some useful information and knowledge from my channel. I can't thank you enough for watching and for taking the time to leave a comment 🙌😀
I’m an INTJ I disagree with doing housewife type things. Or that’s what it seemed it was implying. I strive to raise the bar for my children by home educating and put all my energy into it and give them what the school system didn’t give me. I noticed my number one priority is them so everything else is second. Other then that I see most of it with me. I think time is the biggest factor when analyzing whether something is worthy of my thoughts. I love being alone. Which other people can’t comprehend. The calmest and most rewarding thing is time by myself when what I want to do for relaxation
I would agree we’ll never be a typical housewife but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t be a homemaker or housewife. What I noticed from a very young age is that I was different from my married girlfriends in that I didn’t find managing the home difficult. They would toil about what to make for dinner and I don’t because I know what I know how to cook, I know what ingredients I have, I know the exact prep and cook times and so that’s that. And that goes for everything so I don’t spend much time concerned with homemaking, it’s all just done. I think if I were to ever stay home I’d end up homeschooling kids, helping my husband manage his business and stuff like that. I wouldn’t reject the idea of staying home at all, it would just look different.
As an INTJ female, I can relate to all of these, except for I feel completely lost without a significant other. I can’t imagine, living with out my spouse, or a boyfriend. I am suicidal, if I am alone.
This was helpful in gaining some insights into parts of myself that I have long puzzled over, such as why I have rarely been able to be friends with other women, or why I have so much difficulty feeling "connected" to others in general. I am an INTJ, but have fostered my Feeling side in order to further a career as a mental health provider. I have long understood that my ability to be a very good therapist has been a purposeful choice to allow a greater access to that part of myself (empathy for others' feelings in particular), not a part of my underlying nature. I really like being INTJ, and one of the gifts for that is that I do not have any issues with keeping appropriate emotional boundaries and ethical limits in client relationships because my INTJ nature is so adept at keeping that part of me largely hidden from those I work with.
I am an INTJ married to an ENFJ. I was driven to find out about myself and my type because my husband couldn’t understand my zero emotional response. I had to go on this journey to finally figure out why I was highly independent, lacked sympathy, and can come off cold. He is pretty proud of my other traits except for him being a sensitive type and me having none of that, i guess we balance each other out this way 😊
I’m an ENFJ , am I am very fascinated by the INTJ female characteristics . And would love to someday have a romantic relationship with an INTJ if possible . I’m curious to know how the INTJ and ENFJ balance each other out from your own experiences? And would love languages be problematic as well?
I think there are many men who test intj who are not intj due to them having to be forced to hide their emotions. So the number of intjs is actually even scarcer than most make out otherwise.
Stone cold Vulcan here... ***BAM!!!*** You can stop giving away my secrets anytime now...😜🖤 Edit: It boggles my mind that you're sooooo intent on trying to get others to "understand" me... _No one has ever understood me._ IF by some fancied "miracle" anyone ever does, it would at least fracture the time continuum... ....and it also begs the idea of "Do they even WANT to understand..." I settled on a definitive "No." to that decades ago, Leave them to wallow in their illusions & assumptions... I've relished slipping through almost unnoticed...to the extent that it's become somewhat of a "little game" to me... Shuuuuuuusssshhh.....🖤
@Catherine Rhea Hello again my Vulcan friend! I completely agree - no one wants to take the time to actually even TRY to understand things or people they don't already. There are a few out there, though - but overall, you're absolutely right! This video was for those few, but even more so to help those INTJ women who, haven't reached your level of development and are still trying to figure it all out! Trying to build this community of understanding and support and, as I've said before, I know your comments are a huge asset to that! So thank you again, so much 😀🙌👽
@@SuccessForBreakfast Thanks!!!... My experience with that "understand me???" thing has always been abruptly blunted by outrageous & completely unnecessary emotional outbursts, primarily driven by jealous rage... something that totally short- circuited my momentum(temporarily) when I was younger... It took some time & diligent research into the psychological analysis of THEIR lunacy, before I finally settled it in my mind. Once that happened, it became "Oh... yeah. The chimps are bouncing again!!!" ...as I walked away(Stone COLD Vulcan!!!). I don't "feed that zoo." 😜🖤
@Catherine Rhea Absolutely - emotional outbursts always seem to be the go to when someone is confronted with something they simply don't have the capacity to "get". Most people don't want to look in the mirror and do the hard work of self discovery when it comes to their ego. So, just leave them in the zoo and watch from behind the fence! 😀💯
❤❤Omg, thank you so much 4 this your video! It brings back the faith that there is still men who do like and love women instead of killing and raping and hating them. Very nicely visualy and audibly presented. Your parents must be proud of you.
INTJ-T woman here. I relate to much of this, except I loooove "gossiping" about people but only with my closest friends/family and I don't actually find it fulfilling unless we are psycho-analyzing the person we're talking about. I can't just gossip about frivolous things, there gotta be a logical reason behind it. Probably a very bad habit, but that's just how I roll, honestly. I seriously would not be a bit surprised if I were diagnosed as Neurodivergent/Autistic.
I got curious about my personality type today so I took a quiz and I came up as an INTJ, good to see these explanations I am starting to understand myself
We, INTJ women, do have strong emotions, we just try not to be driven by emotions all the time. INTJ people, in general, have a high appreciation for almost all kinds of art. Also, we are empathetic and worried about world social problems.
I love my way of being and thinking, I consider myself authentic. But, as everything in life has its downsides, like making friends with other women, mainly because I don't like gossip or drama. For me, if a relationship is not functional and does not contribute to my development, it must end and that isolates us a little, it is really difficult to find someone who is willing to constantly change to improve... We really see life as a race and that can be a little stressful, because our goals are so high and because they are so far away that we can't see them up close, we just keep going because we have a lot of faith that our strategy will work
I’m INTJ-A. Some of these points are not correct. I like chivalry from men. Would be fine in Housewife roles and I do enjoy a gossip session but only when the person deserves it. I also can speak for England in the right company.
This describes me to a T. I took the test many years ago, and the results were INTJ, and now I understand myself better. I am Ok being different and unique. I am also ARO/ACE, so I am very different, and the people who become my friends have accepted me just as I am. And I accept and love myself just I am
I just found out I’m INTJ. I never took the test in 40 years because I thought it wouldn’t be accurate. It’s the one test I should have taken a long time ago so I could be more ahead while simultaneously feel like I just got a diagnosis I can’t fix lol. I am truly taken aback that I can be categorized and that the analysis fits. Explains why I’m alone. However, I’m not single because because I’m focusing on work, it’s because I can’t find anyone that understands me.
I am a INTJ female. I hate cooking. I do enough housework to keep my surroundings acceptable for me. I hate to talk to strangers. Leave me alone, I will thrive. I always look toward the future and feel I can always change things for the better. I have emotions but don't ask me about them. I have to respect the people around me or else, it just won't work. I respect intelligence. I think INTJ women are the most misunderstood type of all.
I do sometimes like a bit of gossip. But it was more about who was moving up in an organization. It gave me a clue on things I might need to do or who to know. I was never a networker. Could not stand the claim on my time. I also do a lot of study on personalities and physcology so personalities and behavior interest me.
I am an INTJ female. Not sure if I am a typical one, but I never try to hide my emotions. I simply don’t like strong emotions no matter it’s myself or others. Strong emotions like laughing super loud, screaming, or anyone who has dramatic personality makes me feel uncomfortable around them.
INTJ woman here. Been described as “cold” and not “emotionally available” more times than I can count. Still single, still pursuing greatness. Fiercely independent and private. And I’m not afraid of these labels. I embrace them.
U go girl, as an intj female my mother once said ' I m too hard hearted for a female' and that girls shouldn't be like that. Fuck the gender stereotypes. I m who i m.
I'm often misunderstood by others, I feel so understood by this video 😂❤ I think it's a real gift in life to know who you are and that nobody can give or take your worth from you. But most people are not like that - it's easy to not know this because you take it for granted.
I can agree with most of this. I'm independent, curious, and love to learn. I've been liked to the song, "I am a rock, I am an island". I married an ENTJ. I could never be interested in a man without an education or who couldn't think for himself. I'm the introvert, he's the extrovert. Yes, I wanted a career, but life took a different turn. Not the typical housewife type.
Intj here, just commenting to say that I may listen in on a gossip session if it’s about someone I am currently observing and so want to know more about. I will also vent abt ppl that frustrate me in a journal or I’d vent to my intp sister. this however happens if the person’s actions are in the way of something important to me otherwise it would be a waste of my time writing about people when I could be doing something productive.
I am an intj woman. And a stay at home mom. Not all stereo types are accurate about us. Absolutely true that we are extremely independent, and being a stay at home mom is mentally very difficult for me. However; obviously we are capable of doing the job.
I’m INTJ-T so I do have issues with the past but it’s self-critical and I don’t see the point in being emotional outwardly about it. Of course I feel, and deeply. I just am not outwardly over-emotional.
"... want to be recognized for their intelligence... dealing with those who doubt her innate ability is extremely frustrating" As a woman, I grew up witnessing others, usually less capable, casting doubt on my intelligence and abilities. It's annoying. If only they could be smarter than me, then I might have some respect for their opinions...
I am an intj woman. It feels very isolated and lonely, since you don't fit in with the women and you don't fit in with the men. I find that people feel threatened by me which sucks since it's not my intention to be intimidating but women seem to be threatened by my confidence and not engaging in trivial conversations and men seem to puff up if I try to explain something because they seem to find my logical intelligence threatening. This video was pretty spot on! I identified with about 98% of it.
While most of this is spot on, I believe there’s one aspect that can be incorrect and is often overlooked when it comes to INTJ women: how submissive we can be. In most aspects of my life, I’m typically the one in control. I’m the one calling the shots, taking a leadership role, and the one others lean on. I don’t mind this, in fact, most days I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, this is NOT something I would want in a romantic relationship. I’m attracted to people with similar qualities of my own, so I won’t HAVE to be the one in driver’s seat so to speak. While I agree, I’ll never let someone totally control me, it’s nice to have someone who I trust enough to be the one to call the shots at times. I’m a boss all day; I don’t always want to be the boss when I come home from work 🙅♀️
I am with you. I married an ISTP and he is a very masculine man with high standards and morals and I find it relaxing to know I can just let go...and let him lead. I need a break. Or maybe it's because it's a familiar thing since I grew up with a dad who was masculine and a leader with super high integrity and morals.
As an INTJ woman I can't say I do not like to take care of the household. I'm a perfectionist and can't stand mess. I love my home minimalist and always clean. When I put my headphones on and start cleaning my soul is thriving ! :D I can only focus in organised environment. I cook for myself, my partner cooks for himself. I do laundry and he takes out the trash. We live like this for 8 years now and have harmonious relationship. Btw he is an ENTJ :-))
I admit that as an intj woman i gossip a little, but is important to know about who are you dealing with and if they value your time in future projects
I’m an INTJ and I like to depend on myself I learned the hard way to never expect ppl to understand me and help me. I rather struggle alone than beg someone to help me I beg to differ😅😅
INTJ ladies! Let's create our own friends group to meet each other! I was never able to find too many female frineds here even though i would like to have someone around whom i can relate to.
I'm an INTJ that actually was a stay at home mother and ran a business. One of my daughters is an INTJ and wants to do the career route with no kids. But it is possible to do both as an INTJ female in case anyone is wanting to know.
I disagreed with everything up until he said we don't enjoy gossip. Very true. High school was a bore because of that. Everything after that in the video was 50/50.
As we get older we learn to live better with other people we still feel like we don’t fit in with other women we are still independent but we do learn to be more gracious.
I came out on tests as an INTJ but this video makes me wonder. I'm not a hardcore INTJ, at any rate. People have always told me their problems and I was trained to listen. Six kids in my family and my mother chose me to dump her heartaches on, telling me a lot of negative stuff about her father and about my father, sometimes very personal stuff about the latter. When I was in high school, other girls told me about when they were raped. I became a Christian when I was 17, and by the time I was 19, people were telling me about attacks from demons. I think that people sense I can handle listening to this kind of stuff. And I care very much about their pain, but I would never be able to handle it, if I felt helpless to do anything about it. Maybe not in a tangible way, but I can always turn the problem over to God and ask Him to do something about it. I do not object to men treating me like a lady. One of the reasons I didn't bother to date after my divorce was because men no longer knew good manners and chivalry. In my thirties, I learned to relate to men only as friends and liked them better that way. Most of my male friends were quite a bit younger than me and I was like an older sister who taught them to open doors for women and walk on the outside, getting them prepared for when they met the right woman. If a man doesn't give up his seat on the bus to a pregnant woman or an older person, I consider him an oaf. As a grey- haired lady in her late sixties, I always appreciate sweet, young people offering me their seat and I compliment them on their good manners. When I was married, I relied on my husband to do the manly stuff, particularly if the toilet was plugged, and to take care of house repairs and vehicle maintenance, even though I took Industrial Power in high school, the only girl in that class. Nope, I don't object to men lifting heavy things for me or doing work that is stinky or dirty or requires a lot of strength. But as a single woman, I have had to move heavy furniture by myself lots of times and figure out ingenious ways to do it without injuring my back. When I sorted out archives at an engineering firm, I moved 1000 heavy file boxes, twice. I worked with an 18-year-old Sikh kid who thought similar to me and we had fun climbing all over the shelves and figuring out how to shift those boxes, shoving them along planks. When I was a waitress, I got stuck with training all the new staff how to do cleanup because I did it the best. I resented it because business was slower in the evening, I didn't get as many tips, and I didn't like cleaning. But my stepfather said that, if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well, and that stuck with me. Besides that, I hate grime more than I hate cleaning; I'm like my mother in that way. My manager said, "Your home must be immaculate." I said, "Are you kidding me? I write in bed and have ink all over my sheets and there are papers from one end of the counter to the other." I hadn't gotten into office clerk mode, yet, at that time in my life. I can handle spontaneity, if it doesn't intrude on something more important. I sure didn't like my ex trying to control me, but one of the things I loved about him was his penchant for suddenly deciding to go somewhere and taking off, usually to California, at a moment's notice. Or if he planned a trip, he didn't tell me where we were going because he liked to surprise me. That was fun. He learned to do this early in our relationship because on our first trip, our honeymoon, I way overpacked and it must have drastically cut into our gas mileage. We didn't use most of the stuff I packed. I must have thought that California didn't have laundromats. Lol! And he sure didn't need to wear his three-piece suit or either of his two leather coats there. Lol! My preference would always be to stay home with my kids (if they were respectful and cooperative), homeschool them, and be an ideal mother and wife, who also finds time to write. However, when my kids were in their teens and giving me a lot of trouble, I was glad to go to work where I could be around people who were sane.
All true, and it's damn lonely at the "top"! 🤣😎 I never wanted the moon and stars, just someone equal or better who wouldn't constantly point out how much better they are. Very hard to settle for... there's no way to say it without coming off as something I'm not so won't say it. However, would rather die alone (which is NOT what I want) than put myself through BS again.
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Are you an INTJ women or do you know one? What are your thoughts and experiences with this incredibly unique personality type? Leave a comment and let me know!
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Nobody is smart enough to out think themselves
INTJ women are not cold, they are just principled in how things should be done.
Precisely! Principled is the perfect descriptor.
Amen
Im an intj and its one of the things they say to me at first, its like a first impression to us 😆 but its funny it helps us not to be approached by people who are not worth our time
I don't care what people think. Unless I like them.
I've been thought cold by my husband and from his perspective I really was. I just had a different way of thinking and doing things. And since I do love and care about him, I did try to phrase things in a way that he would understand and it works for the most part. He's also a lot more understanding now of how I am. He just gets frustrated cause he sometimes think I don't love him as much as he loves me. As I've grown older, I've learned how to communicate better to people - most of it is just learning to be more patient.
As an INTJ, I don't care about winning. I often get bored with competitions. It's about getting better, achieving high levels of achievement, in areas that I choose. Anyone who is better than me has my high regard and I want to learn from them. Yes, I am actually happy for the success of others, and for my own.
Yes!!
Exactly. The competition is against myself. I don't have time to worry about how well others are doing, unless I can learn from them.
I am an INTJ female. “I repeat do not try to control her” 😂 Hilariously true.
True so if the guy cant level my knowledge im not interested 😆
Yup, I am an INTJ-A woman and I can’t stand being controlled by anyone.
Exactly!
@@harleyquinn5774 so true!! I had that instinct last week. It feel like what hackles on a dog must feel like.
Ditto!
Learning that I’m INTJ has saved my sanity because I was almost sure I had sociopathic traits such as lack of empathy, not being able to console people, spending so much time alone on purpose, etc.
I can relate to 95% of the video. I hate small talk but I like gossiping with my best friend.
Relationship is the hardest part tho. I don’t like most of the men who like me.
None the less I enjoy being INTJ even if I am a white crow.
Same.
Same I though I was autistic
On point, I thought there was something really wrong with me. Being a female people don’t understand when you don’t fit into the stereotype. I also felt that being INTJ feels like choosing to be good because we can very well swing the other way and plan a perfect crime.
Same
Same
I’m an INTJ woman. Recently, a man tried to tell me some version of “you can do it.” I was really offended that he thought I needed his encouragement 🤣
Probably an entj 😂😂
I understand why you feel that way. I felt the same thing all the time. I don't need any support from others. I can manage myself why do I need that??
INTJ females are self motivated. There is no need for external motivation. This trait frustrates people.
Isn't it awful? A few years ago I decided to try expanding my knowledgebase by delving into machine learning and data science. The number of programs that are catered toward "women in STEM!" with pink websites and a focus on equity in science was appalling.
No the problem with that is that they want it to be reciprocal. I dont go around encouraging people since i assume if you are hired, you should be able to do your assigned tasks . So if someone comes to me with a lot of encouraging talk, they themselves are likely to be needy. It doesn't bode well.
7. Independence
6. Driven by ideas
5. Strong Sense of Self
4. Particular About Relationships
3. Constant Self Improvement
2. Analytical
1. Logical
Middle-aged INTJ woman here. I really wish I wish I had understood my personality type earlier in life. I used to actually wonder if something was wrong with me as I was so different from other women. In graduate school I met another INTJ woman and we became best friends! It was so healing to know there were others like me.
haha yeah i feel this.. not many people we resonate with
INTJ woman retired Marine here. 65. Own my own home, land, and live alone (by choice). I have three significant relationships that have proved true over the years. I'm happy, and it confuses many.
In buying my property last year, I'm learning how to do carpentry, fixing machines, and plumbing. At first if I got it wrong, I'd call my expert. My go-to guy asked why i just didn't call him before i screw it up. I told him, "How will i master these projects if i don't try?" He was quiet after that.
He suggested i call him ahead of time on projects i don't know and he'd train me. This goes against my independent streak, but logically made sense. I'm good with that. Being 100% disabled, causing me pain when trying to get these physical things done, his training helps me get it done easier.
As an INTJ woman I can relate to all of these, and I think that male and female stereotypes is very problematic. But it doesn't just effect women, many men feel like they have to hide their emotions, and many women is not being tacking seriosly because we are seen as sensitive, when in fact it comes down to being a F-type og a T-type.
@Nadja I absolutely agree 💯 The stereotypes are very problematic which leads to so much confusion and misunderstandings when someone "doesn't fit" into those stereotypes. Thank you so much for leaving a comment and for taking the time to watch! 🙂👍
I recently found out that I am INTJ-A, and that explains why I never fit in with my peers. I am wired very differently from other women I know, and they often find my reasoning out of this world. I guess that’s why I am watching this video to better understand my personality traits.
Yes coz were always misunderstood i just find out im an intj whrn i take the test and it explains why i feel different from other women or other people i thought im weird at first 😄 but now i understand it more
As an INTJ female I have only one insecurity - I am not feminine, even tough I would like to. I try to compensate with looks, but my character seems hopeless.
Omg same😭😭
You're not alone, sister. Lol I put makeup on the mow the lawn and do yard work. I'm sure the birds and bees appreciate my efforts.
Honey, none of us are! Our stoicism and our honesty are considered masculine traits. I love skirts and dresses. But I also hate the time it takes to get "girly." INTJs are very much function over form people. I'ma throw on jeans and a t-shirt if I have stuff to do, and save the dresses for somebody's wedding when it is truly expected of me to "clean up nice."
@@mojyoqueen350 ya see... This is my problem. As a black female INTJ, I am most comfortable wearing 14 rings, 2 chains, corduroy pants, a white button up, and Military issued boots, and a head wrap.... HOWEVER.... If I dress like that people get nervous and we don't need a frenzy. So... I wear colorful dresses and 6 in chunky heels with fishnets.... And that's still too offensive!!! So.... When absolutely necessary, I business casual with a large diamond-ish ring with calculated natural looking make up, and a modest head wrap. Gotta keep them guessing... Cuz if anyone knew what I was really plotting........... Well...... 🤫🤫🤫
Same
INTJ woman here. Hiding emotions is so on point for me! I'm weirded out when people "ooze" them all around. But on the contrary - I like housework. I did what I could to improve in it so I can do it quickly and move on to some more productive things :)
Housework being updated by the engineering mind. I do that too. No shame.
Id rather stay home and take care of the children rather than running after a job.
Same here, I enjoy housework and cooking, but definitely kids and being a housewife is a no for me
Do you really hide your emotions or are you just capable of managing them?
I'm an INTJ man and I do all the housework. It's part of being self-sufficient and independent.
I tried hiring people to do it but they don't do it the way I like it nor understand my instructions.
Intj from Jamaica!
Never been a girly girl and always planning for the future. Planning is like breathing to me.
@Tagene Brown-McBean Well, hey there! That was such a good way to say it - "planning is like breathing to me." So true! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment and for watching! 🙌🙂
Yes! You nailed it, planning is like breathing, I’m going to use that. Thanks!
@@leslielatture7152 Sure! You are welcome.
Same. I have a notebook and I plan whenever I have free time at school
I always wonder that why people have no plans??? Plan makes me safe and also updrade my life. If there's no plan, I feel useless.
INTJ women do listen to gossip and will engage strategically as It’s a means of knowing who, what, where and how to strategize with this intel.
@bw6066 I don't listen to gossip. I don't have time for it, and I don't have a bed to find out that type of information.
If its a matter of obtaining information vital to do work, we will mine it. But if we need to, its likely to be a dire state ... Like too many female employees.
I’m an INTJ and I won the jackpot in marriage. He’s an INTJ too ❤️ 30 odd years and counting
Wow! How was your experience in relationship with your same type man? I wanna know..
I'm INTJ female(in love with INTJ male)...
@@Im_ritika_21 we work all our problems out rationally. The best argument wins. It's idyllic. Learning to argue properly is the key to a good marriage. I’ve been very happy with him
Damn. It must be nice
@@zhongmeiyin7462 we both have serious health challenges so it's not as if life was a cakewalk but a good marriage accounts for at least 75% of life's happiness
i am sooo jealous! love it !! I have trouble relating to 'F' (feelers). Dealing with 'T' - is so comforting!
INTJ here! We are not cold, we are just driven and principled.
Im an INTJ, my daughter is one as well. We get along very well and frequently talk about how different we are than most people. Intellectual conversations are frequent and appreciated. I am trying to give some guidance on things I've learned to use people skills; which do not come naturally. It took many years and frustration to learn enough to not always feel like an outside. Girl INTJs are special.
Hey that's true, even me and my mother are INTJs...we both suffered alot in relations and that leads to physical illness as well..but one thing is damn sure that, whatever the situation is ...i am so intelligent enough to tackle them!!
I'm an INTJ woman and I'm terrified of dating apps. Like I try them sometimes, but Everytime when I scrolling, I read each guy like an open book and I see all the things that don't suit me immediately. I just don't give anyone a chance. I tried to get to know people better, but I was even more disappointed by the lack of communication. Or I got bored soon. I have friends, I'm pretty social, but i can see all the problems, which I can get from a guy as soon as I see him. And evetytime I visit dating apps I think something like "ugh, how can people be so much disgusting?.." I know, this is arrogant, but I feel guilty when I think like that, so I never voice it. I don't wanna hurt anyone, that's why I try to be patient. But this comment is anonymous, so I'm writing it🤟🖤
I totally understand. I don't use dating app ofcourse. And real life, someguys hitting on me sometimes. But I don't know what to do so I ignor them all the time. I really don't know what to do. there was a guy talking about his collecting shoes, then I changed a subject then we never meet again. He was hot and cute, But I igore him. Why did I do that? Stupid!!
I am an INTJ female ( tested with psychometric tests). I can relate to all these points BUT I did stay with and marry a useless man. Got rid of him eventually and now I am married to a successful executive that respects and love me for who I am and does not control me. It was so empowering to learn about the INTJ female. I now understand myself better and why I would rather be part of mens conversations because they mostly talk about real stuff
My fiancé did the same thing for five years. He was a very sweet man and she picked him to balance her toxic prior life. And in addition they were both young.
I was with a loser girlfriend, she eventually cheated on me. I want to know how to move on and find better. I know that there will be better, I want to find someone who can put up with my INTJ women lifestyle. There have been people who said they wants me, but they online like the idea of me.
so so true!
I can feel you. I wasted 10 years of my life with a useless INFP. He followed me around and put up a facade for 7 years around me, and the moment I moved in with him he showed his true colours. Worst part is that I was never his 1st first priority, his world revolved around others. The more time goes on after I seperated from him , the more I'am realizing the red flags which were present since the beginning. But I wasn't good with human interactions, and he fully took advantage of that.
I have a lot to do to overcome the damage, still working on it though
May I ask in what way was your ex useless? How was he as a partner? I'm an INTJ and at times I wonder if it's reasonable to think a partner is not doing enough or it's just me having unnecessarily high standards for a partner. Sometimes I feel confused what to do.
I'm a INTJ female. I know that the society don't like me for being a strong woman but I don't care cause I breathe oxygen not the people
U go girl
For a personality type that who has disdain for anything that would make her seem average or mediocre, it's surprising to see them use 'strong' as their go to self-descriptor.
Personally, as an INTJ myself I would see an INTJ woman as capable more so than strong.
INTJ and Gen X. This FINALLY explains why I really don't give a flying fig about what other people think of me.
Same here. I have a ' fuck what they say' attitude.
And the more time it passes the more I confirm this point of view 🤷
As a female INTJ I find this very accurate. Yet most people around me consider my difference a sign of less socializing and mental issues. It's difficult for them to believe a woman doesn't fit the usual stereotype. This video can be a good way to let people know how I function without wasting time in explaining and arguing 😂 although I doubt they'd leave me alone
Before I found out that I’m a INTJ woman I thought I didn’t have empathy from my response to others drama/trauma dumping me!!! All of the things listed are spot on!
INTJ woman here who ended up with an INTJ man. I FINALLY feel understood 😅
It must be nice
INTJ men are the coolest. I’m INTJ myself. And opposites don’t attract in my case :)
Envious INTJ man here. I've only met one INTJ woman in my entire life and at the time, neither of us were in a place to maintain a relationship.
Congratulations for hitting the jackpot!
As a female INTJ, this clip was 98% accurate, almost unnerving. It has taken me several years to embrace the way I am made, it wasn’t a fun journey, but it was SO worth it!!!!!
I'm a female INTJ. "Dont try to control her" it's true. I will do what I have in mind to do. And I will do it without the huge emotional protestations. I'm very decisive. I loathe group projects, I feel they are a waste of time, too much talking but not enough doing. I can engage in a social setting, but i need to know where and for how long. My social battery is about the size of a AAA.
I am INTJ girl i think this is all true and relates to me.I am an engineer but also almost a chef in our house i take responsibilities to household chores ,people around me they call me you don't have a heart but actually i think iam emotional inside,wherever there's a challenge for learning i go for it and try to win.
I'm a born again Christian intj woman married to a more traditional Christian intp. He's very controlling by nature and its been extremely challenging with many screaming fights and threats of divorce from my end. On the flip side, it's also been years of personal development becoming a wife and mother of four. Both he and one of my children are disabled. It's been a very difficult life, but I've learned a lot and I'm hopeful for the future.
I am an INTJ woman and my husband is also INTJ so he instinctively treated me well from the beginning. We have been happy together for 13 years.
I’m a tested & verified INTJ. I agree that I share most of these points. I wilt or rebel in situations of being controlled or micromanaged and relationships are really difficult for me - I have to remember that most average people aren’t like me at all - especially in the way they think or emote so I have to meet them at their level. That’s hard sometimes and makes me feel like a black sheep. It’s true that I can’t stand small talk - I can manage when required but it’s a miserable experience. Boyfriend? That’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack - especially when I’ve been told by other men and women that I’m “too smart,” and “intimidating.” Thankfully I didn’t want kids and I really like my alone time. Having pets - 🐱 cats, independent like me - helps. 😅
What's interesting is there seems to be a correlation between INTJ, personality, types, and trauma I don't know how directly correlated it is, but there seems to be a common thread that this personality type develops out of survival, which can come with its own issues
What men need to understand about INTJ women: If you need to be needed, keep walking. If you like drama, pound sand. And, if you betray us, we will put you in the rearview and NEVER look back.
This is the absolute truth! Mess with my trust or sense of moral integrity, thrive on chaos or drama or are an emotional leech? Wave goodbye because you have instantaneously become a closed chapter, welded shut and there is no going back.
Okay all that's nice it's understandable i agree with you as an infp
@@susanq8925can you explain the part about being a emotional leech
@@H0lolo A person who needs to pull constant emotional support from others to get through the day. Comes in many forms but mostly needing/wanting/expecting continual praise and approval for even the most minor accomplishments. An INTJ will not be shoveling out sugar to another adult. And we’re not good with surfing emotional tsunamis that are thrown our way. We do not understand disproportionately emotional reactions. “Feeling” is not our strength. We aren’t equipped to give what the needy one craves. It’s exhausting, both physically and mentally, and everyone ends up frustrated.
@@susanq8925 Yes , now i understand. This is also something i actually like about intjs because they offer praise for genuine efforts and not for every minor thing so when an intj praises me it actually means alot to me same with their time i know how much intjs value their time if despite that they are spending their time talking to me even if it's less it just make me feel so important . Yes intjs are better at offering solutions then emotional support, but I still prefer being around intjs because it just makes me want to improve myself and achieve more sometimes just to earn her praise, i am an infp male i am a feeler so sorry if anything i wrote seems illogical.
I recently took the test, I am INTJ. it explains A LOT. I wish more people understood their personality types. It helps. Dawn
I am an INTJ female. I wanted to be a stay at home Mom. I saw being a Mom as the most important job there is. However I treat Motherhood as my lifes work. Homemaking is my career. I am very diligent and intentionial about how I raise my children and the expectations I have of them. I am not like other Mothers.
Same! I’m a SAHM but I treat it like a vocation.
Same! I never thought I'd be a SAHM, but my priorities changed after I had children. I eventually learned to love being a "household manager", and my love for systems really helps out, lol.
Yes, you are going to excel at it. Good for you. Being a mom is a very important job. Your kids are very lucky.
U r an exception. Most intj females don't prefer being just housewives. We like to be in control and be financially independent. 'Work' is important. Especially that pays n gives u an identity.
Well, as an female INTJ, I've cold face and people think that I'm a nonsense and selfish person, and when I judge about something people around me think that I'm a toxic person
I disagree with two things. 1. Housework is just life. You need to know how to do it well whether you're single or not, just don't expect an INTJ to be the only one contributing to it in married life. 1. The carrying the box. Yeah, do it. It subtly demonstrates that you are willing to contribute to the relationship even in minor details. It's like a first step in an application process.
I am intj and I hate house work although it's nessary. It's the most boring thing I do. We as an intj have our differences and similarities. that's what I learned.
Yes. Housework is just part of living, and it's necessary if you really want to be independent. For me, as much as possible, I avoid having people in my house, so being good at housework doesn't require other people's services. I'm also quite picky and specific on my food, so I cook my own food. The frustrating part of it is when you live with people who expect you to do it for them and just because you're a woman, it is your job. NO. It is everybody's job.
@@gyusobeau_6026 totally agree with you 💯
As an INTJ, I’m always problem-solving housework… how to do things more efficiently 😁
Its the gender role thing that's annoying. I don't mind chivalry but treating me with kid gloves ain't happening.
I like cooking and gardening, but it is because I get deeply into these topics and am rather an expert at them. I also find my home creates a safe space for me where I can be alone.
Me too. i am a pretty expert cook and gardener. If I could do all my own home repairs I would. My home is my safe space.
As an INTJ-T with fibromyalgia, this resonates because i cant work and my husband is sole provider. Im constantly trying to figure out how to get better so i can earn income and feel equal. I do a lot at home but i always feel something nudging me to contribute financially. It scares me to be honest that im in so much pain i am dependent on someone else to provide for me. I am incredibly grateful but it is really challenging. P s,. I always do that ackward shoulder pat when someone cries😬
This is me. I DID, however, become a stay at home parent; I think this was because educating my children at home in order to provide them with as few limitations as possible became a huge goal and challenge. I was able to also have other meaningful work at home by growing our food supply and expanding and improving the operation year by year. This fulfilled the need for independence and self sufficiency.
Because I do not care what others think and am not engaged by competition, I could live out an unconventional life very easily, while others were working their way up corporate ladders or just trying to do what was "expected" of them.
The constant desire to learn and improve is SO true! I read voraciously and always a lot of non fiction.
My husband and I have very defined roles, based totally on who is the expert in any area! I do not like to be forced to tolerate standards that are less than mine. And solitude. Precious and preferred over most everything.
So fascinating.
INTJ woman here. Most of this is correct. As for emotions, my empathetic abilities have been honed to a fine edge over 60 years of working with dressage and USPC horses, especially hot-blooded and ruined horses. I am quite passionate as well. I was lucky enough to find my soul mate and we were happily married for 42 years. He was an ENTJ, but close to the center of the E/I spectrum. My few, life-long friends describe me as not “suffering fools gladly.” 😁 Dressage and 3-day Eventing are two of the few Olympic sports where women compete against men, in a highly dangerous setting. We win, too. Still able to ride, though I haven’t completed in a very long time. Still riding at 75 was winning enough. 😊 And after riding the horses I rode, no mere man scares me. Horses are always the mirror of the rider and teach one intense introspection and self-knowledge. They were always my Zen Masters.
I will forever be grateful to the employer who made me take the MBTI as part of the interview process when I was 30. All of a sudden, everything made sense. I've taken it five times since then, and my numbers just keep getting stronger. I think I got one INTP, but I was probably hormonal that day.
INTJ woman here too.
When it comes to housework, I do not like a messy house, so I do housework for a practical reason.
So true! I wish someone else could keep my house clean, while I provide
I grew up hearing endless iterations of “you’re so different.” Yup - this gal is 100% INTJ and happily so!
'You're not like other women.' I've heard that so many times!!
I am, of course, an INTJ female and cannot tolerate this one phrase: "calm down".
100% agree with not trying to control her. I despise that, as first hubby tried. He became ex-hubby. His main insecurity was our I.Q. scores, weirdly enough. Mine is higher than his and he did not realize that. He is narcissistic and a mommy's boy and he actually screamed and argued with me. He wanted to be able to put on his resume that he was a member of MENSA. He is of average intelligence and there is nothing wrong with that. Mine has always been high enough for membership into the round table and he punished me for it. Reiterate, ex-hubby and I am independent as hell, getting ready for law school at 44.
The moment someone says calm down is a cue for me to focus on myself more because they aren't listening to you. And with that when they say calm down you can be in total control and level headed and not freaking out. So I just look at how they use that phrase and when they use it then I judge them.
I’m an INTJ female. I’m retired now, and really happy not to be trying to fit in at work. It’s great to be away from social pressures. Everything they say here is true. Being a rare personality is very difficult. I haven’t found that people are interested in what I think or feel. So life is easier and happier now. I’m in a long term relationship and I’m delighted with it, but I probably wouldn’t choose to be INTJ given the option. It’s hard to constantly be misunderstood. What I would miss if I were another type is the clarity of thought, and the freedom you have when you’re not motivated by societal norms. Fitting in must be fun, but there’s a terrible price to pay, particularly if you’re female.
1. Requirement: someone she can respect: it’s easy to be respected for one’s traits by people who don’t have them, what she really wants is to be respected by someone she respects for the same traits. Yes, they may not be exactly equal but need to be able to surprise each other once in a while, and to challenge each other with the right questions. Communication between them may be largely unspoken, almost telepathic.
Before I got married at 21, I assumed that I would do all the housewifey things my mother and grandmother and aunts did. They were farm people who worked hard at cleaning, cooking, canning, gardening, and they did crochet, knitting, sewing, all the usual stuff that wives did in the 1950s. My husband even asked me before we were married if I would do canning and I said yes, assuming that I would. I didn't know myself very well, but how was I going to go from being a bookworm to super wife?
I never did do any canning because I considered the fact that jams, jellies, and canned fruit used a lot of sugar, which is unhealthy and kills the flavour of the fruit. It seemed like a lot of work to get diabetes. I didn't like cooking; my husband was better at it and more interested in it than me. He was really bitter that I didn't do any canning, and ten years later, he tossed it in my face that the first time I cooked a roast, the centre of it was raw. So what? I didn't know that I am literary and artistic, not a domestic goddess. Besides that, I didn't realize until after we were married that he was an alcoholic; his drinking distressed and depressed me a lot.
I very much prefer to live alone and have only my own messes to clean up, to have silk flower arrangements all over the place without a man objecting to my taste, and to keep whatever hours suit me. I like to wear pretty clothes and have pretty stuff. When I was 19, I was forced to share a room with a girl who was mannish and I hated having to look at her grubby sneakers on the floor and her BB gun leaning against the wall. I wanted my room to look pretty with pearls and flowers and lace.
Are there other INTJ women who like pretty stuff and enjoy their femininity? I like being practical, but I also like being creative. I use both sides of my brain.
I absolutely love being feminine. I love makeup, beauty, and fashion. I love that I’m in a male dominant career. Other women I work with typically don’t wear makeup or fix their hair. Also my hobbies are male dominated.
So I’ve been an Engineer for most of my career (before becoming a Director! 😁)
And I’m the most feminine engineer at work, the most feminine motorcycle rider, and the girliest mountain biker on the mountain!
@@SmooochyFace I liked being the only girl in my Industrial Power class in high school. That was in 1971. The school counsellor was great, making that happen for me. I wanted to understand what my boyfriends were talking about, who were into cars and motorcycles. I would have learned more, if the boys didn't keep pushing in front of me and saying, "Here, let me do that for you." I put up with that until I finished cleaning some doomahicky with ball bearings and a boy grabbed it out of my hands, saying he would pack it with grease for me. That made me mad and I grabbed it back. Packing the grease was the part I was looking forward to.
I also enjoyed going out with the guys after church or hiking with them in my thirties when I was single again. I wasn't interested in dating. I was learning that it is more fun to just be friends with men, than romantically involved. Most of the men I hung out with were in their twenties. Many times, I was the only woman in the crowd and they were interested in hearing my feminine perspective.
When I was in a job club, after watching how I interacted with the men, the facilitator asked if I had ever worked in an industry with men. Yes, I was the secretary in a shop that made cabinets, the only woman there. She said she could tell that I enjoyed working with men. I find it interesting to figure out how these creatures minds work.
i was accused of being heartless and cold. these are the worst words to hear, especially from family members who you care about so deeply and make sure they are taken care of on many levels.
I'm an INTJ women and every single point is accurate for me. But not every INTJ female will be same.
For the household, some people are disagreeing, for me it's true. I can do housework it's part of our lives, but I know it's just not my thing. I cannot be a housewife.
For relationship, I am forever single. I have no interest at all to share my life with someone else.
I’m also an INTJ woman. You have got most facts right. Except I have worked part-time since having my children. I also would have been a stay at home Mum in the early years if I wasn’t lucky enough to have in-laws to help. It was logical to work part-time if we were to raise well rounded children.
My youngest is now 13yrs & I still work part-time. This is so I am involved in their lives & there is someone to take them to their chosen activities after school.
I also don’t mind housework. I prefer to live in a clean relaxing environment instead of looking at a mess that is not encouraging thinking. It also means that I am not wasting time looking for something. I know exactly where something is.
I agree that this is the typical INTJ personality traits. But sometimes other factors can come into play that may alter some of these traits. Not all situations do we have control of. Life can throw some curve balls, which can break an INTJ’s comfortable traits and cause us to have to work an alternative route to fix the damages made.
I would not agree to the saying, “you would not find an INTJ as a housewife.” True we are highly driven by the need for a successful career, as I do have. But there are INTJ Mothers, Wife’s, and we can balance being a housewife with a successful career all at the same time. Example, I work remotely as a Software Engineer / Cyber Security IAM Analyst who’s always learning more to develop depth to my skills. But at the same time, I am home with my kids, cooking, cleaning, teaching them, and pampering my husband as I am devoted wife. I also plan for future financial security, because your right, I don’t want to rely on anyone else for my financial needs or my family’s financial needs.
So why I do follow all these typical traits, an INTJ can also be a housewife. We can do it all.
Another INTJ here - it isn't so much that we hide emotions as it is we refuse to let emotions rule our minds. Also on housework - everyone has housework, but we are extremely efficient at it. People who don't have housework are either lazy, liars or the ultra-rich.
So I made the test and it seems like I am an INTJ woman. This is so helpful - I always thought I am strange / different / an alien :D . I agree with most of these points except that I do show my emotions (at least partially, no drama though) and I can also to give others emotional support. But I had to learn this, it is not something that came naturally to me.
So Trueeee!!! INTJ women are different different :)
I enjoy my alone time in large part because most people annoy me with their endless chatter and illogical emotion
Same. I don’t like group projects because my classmates remove a good idea from the project. When the teacher speaks to us about what we could improve, my idea is usually told there. It annoys me everytime. Happily, now people don’t interact with me much and let me work alone in group projects now.
Im an intj woman but im not really confident with myself and im definately wasting my time these days, i just can't do things like i used to anymore, but i relate with everything else though
INTJ’s are the mover and shakers of the world whether than are a man or a woman. I am an INTJ and I want an INTJ man - a power couple if you will. There are not many out there. If an INTJ can’t get what they want they will NOT settle. They would prefer to do without.
Yes,I am a INTJ woman.
Thank you for this video. I always watch this channel.
I love knowledge and library.
Please don't control me. I want freedom for deep thinking.
@トボガン滑り Thank you so much - you are very kind! I am glad you are getting some useful information and knowledge from my channel. I can't thank you enough for watching and for taking the time to leave a comment 🙌😀
I’m an INTJ I disagree with doing housewife type things. Or that’s what it seemed it was implying. I strive to raise the bar for my children by home educating and put all my energy into it and give them what the school system didn’t give me. I noticed my number one priority is them so everything else is second. Other then that I see most of it with me.
I think time is the biggest factor when analyzing whether something is worthy of my thoughts. I love being alone. Which other people can’t comprehend. The calmest and most rewarding thing is time by myself when what I want to do for relaxation
I agree completely, I was not a stay at home mom but wanted to be.
Omg I wanna do the same thing
What about your husband
I would agree we’ll never be a typical housewife but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t be a homemaker or housewife. What I noticed from a very young age is that I was different from my married girlfriends in that I didn’t find managing the home difficult. They would toil about what to make for dinner and I don’t because I know what I know how to cook, I know what ingredients I have, I know the exact prep and cook times and so that’s that. And that goes for everything so I don’t spend much time concerned with homemaking, it’s all just done. I think if I were to ever stay home I’d end up homeschooling kids, helping my husband manage his business and stuff like that. I wouldn’t reject the idea of staying home at all, it would just look different.
As an INTJ female, I can relate to all of these, except for I feel completely lost without a significant other. I can’t imagine, living with out my spouse, or a boyfriend. I am suicidal, if I am alone.
This was helpful in gaining some insights into parts of myself that I have long puzzled over, such as why I have rarely been able to be friends with other women, or why I have so much difficulty feeling "connected" to others in general. I am an INTJ, but have fostered my Feeling side in order to further a career as a mental health provider. I have long understood that my ability to be a very good therapist has been a purposeful choice to allow a greater access to that part of myself (empathy for others' feelings in particular), not a part of my underlying nature. I really like being INTJ, and one of the gifts for that is that I do not have any issues with keeping appropriate emotional boundaries and ethical limits in client relationships because my INTJ nature is so adept at keeping that part of me largely hidden from those I work with.
I am an INTJ women. I hate the men who want to control me. I don't wanna be a typical woman. That's why I prefer to be alone.
I am an INTJ married to an ENFJ. I was driven to find out about myself and my type because my husband couldn’t understand my zero emotional response. I had to go on this journey to finally figure out why I was highly independent, lacked sympathy, and can come off cold. He is pretty proud of my other traits except for him being a sensitive type and me having none of that, i guess we balance each other out this way 😊
I’m an ENFJ , am I am very fascinated by the INTJ female characteristics . And would love to someday have a romantic relationship with an INTJ if possible . I’m curious to know how the INTJ and ENFJ balance each other out from your own experiences? And would love languages be problematic as well?
I think there are many men who test intj who are not intj due to them having to be forced to hide their emotions. So the number of intjs is actually even scarcer than most make out otherwise.
Stone cold Vulcan here...
***BAM!!!***
You can stop giving away my secrets anytime now...😜🖤
Edit:
It boggles my mind that you're sooooo intent on trying to get others to "understand" me... _No one has ever understood me._ IF by some fancied "miracle" anyone ever does, it would at least fracture the time continuum...
....and it also begs the idea of "Do they even WANT to understand..." I settled on a definitive "No." to that decades ago, Leave them to wallow in their illusions & assumptions... I've relished slipping through almost unnoticed...to the extent that it's become somewhat of a "little game" to me...
Shuuuuuuusssshhh.....🖤
@Catherine Rhea Hello again my Vulcan friend! I completely agree - no one wants to take the time to actually even TRY to understand things or people they don't already. There are a few out there, though - but overall, you're absolutely right! This video was for those few, but even more so to help those INTJ women who, haven't reached your level of development and are still trying to figure it all out!
Trying to build this community of understanding and support and, as I've said before, I know your comments are a huge asset to that! So thank you again, so much 😀🙌👽
@@SuccessForBreakfast Thanks!!!...
My experience with that "understand me???" thing has always been abruptly blunted by outrageous & completely unnecessary emotional outbursts, primarily driven by jealous rage... something that totally short- circuited my momentum(temporarily) when I was younger... It took some time & diligent research into the psychological analysis of THEIR lunacy, before I finally settled it in my mind. Once that happened, it became "Oh... yeah. The chimps are bouncing again!!!" ...as I walked away(Stone COLD Vulcan!!!). I don't "feed that zoo." 😜🖤
@Catherine Rhea Absolutely - emotional outbursts always seem to be the go to when someone is confronted with something they simply don't have the capacity to "get". Most people don't want to look in the mirror and do the hard work of self discovery when it comes to their ego. So, just leave them in the zoo and watch from behind the fence! 😀💯
@@SuccessForBreakfast LMAO!!!😂😂😂😂😂 That's EXACTLY what I do, sometimes from a serious safe distance from that fence!!!!!!!!!😂😂😂🖤
@Catherine Rhea 🤣 well yeah, from a safe distance!! You don't wanna get hit with anything of that 💩 they're flinging around!! 🤣🖤
This video was good and accurate. Some videos make INTJ seam stuck up and narcissistic. She is simply an independent woman with a mind of her own.
❤❤Omg, thank you so much 4 this your video! It brings back the faith that there is still men who do like and love women instead of killing and raping and hating them. Very nicely visualy and audibly presented. Your parents must be proud of you.
INTJ-T woman here. I relate to much of this, except I loooove "gossiping" about people but only with my closest friends/family and I don't actually find it fulfilling unless we are psycho-analyzing the person we're talking about. I can't just gossip about frivolous things, there gotta be a logical reason behind it. Probably a very bad habit, but that's just how I roll, honestly.
I seriously would not be a bit surprised if I were diagnosed as Neurodivergent/Autistic.
I got curious about my personality type today so I took a quiz and I came up as an INTJ, good to see these explanations I am starting to understand myself
INTJ women are the one’s ill-spoken about in “dude’s podcasts” as the “strong independent career oriented women”
They sure do seem to hate us. Religions hate us too
We, INTJ women, do have strong emotions, we just try not to be driven by emotions all the time. INTJ people, in general, have a high appreciation for almost all kinds of art. Also, we are empathetic and worried about world social problems.
I love my way of being and thinking, I consider myself authentic. But, as everything in life has its downsides, like making friends with other women, mainly because I don't like gossip or drama. For me, if a relationship is not functional and does not contribute to my development, it must end and that isolates us a little, it is really difficult to find someone who is willing to constantly change to improve... We really see life as a race and that can be a little stressful, because our goals are so high and because they are so far away that we can't see them up close, we just keep going because we have a lot of faith that our strategy will work
I’m INTJ-A. Some of these points are not correct.
I like chivalry from men. Would be fine in Housewife roles and I do enjoy a gossip session but only when the person deserves it. I also can speak for England in the right company.
This describes me to a T. I took the test many years ago, and the results were INTJ, and now I understand myself better. I am Ok being different and unique. I am also ARO/ACE, so I am very different, and the people who become my friends have accepted me just as I am. And I accept and love myself just I am
I just found out I’m INTJ. I never took the test in 40 years because I thought it wouldn’t be accurate. It’s the one test I should have taken a long time ago so I could be more ahead while simultaneously feel like I just got a diagnosis I can’t fix lol. I am truly taken aback that I can be categorized and that the analysis fits. Explains why I’m alone. However, I’m not single because because I’m focusing on work, it’s because I can’t find anyone that understands me.
I am a INTJ female. I hate cooking. I do enough housework to keep my surroundings acceptable for me. I hate to talk to strangers. Leave me alone, I will thrive. I always look toward the future and feel I can always change things for the better. I have emotions but don't ask me about them. I have to respect the people around me or else, it just won't work. I respect intelligence. I think INTJ women are the most misunderstood type of all.
I do sometimes like a bit of gossip. But it was more about who was moving up in an organization. It gave me a clue on things I might need to do or who to know. I was never a networker. Could not stand the claim on my time. I also do a lot of study on personalities and physcology so personalities and behavior interest me.
I am an INTJ female. Not sure if I am a typical one, but I never try to hide my emotions. I simply don’t like strong emotions no matter it’s myself or others. Strong emotions like laughing super loud, screaming, or anyone who has dramatic personality makes me feel uncomfortable around them.
INTJ woman here. Been described as “cold” and not “emotionally available” more times than I can count. Still single, still pursuing greatness. Fiercely independent and private. And I’m not afraid of these labels. I embrace them.
U go girl, as an intj female my mother once said ' I m too hard hearted for a female' and that girls shouldn't be like that. Fuck the gender stereotypes. I m who i m.
I'm often misunderstood by others, I feel so understood by this video 😂❤ I think it's a real gift in life to know who you are and that nobody can give or take your worth from you. But most people are not like that - it's easy to not know this because you take it for granted.
I can agree with most of this. I'm independent, curious, and love to learn. I've been liked to the song, "I am a rock, I am an island". I married an ENTJ. I could never be interested in a man without an education or who couldn't think for himself. I'm the introvert, he's the extrovert. Yes, I wanted a career, but life took a different turn. Not the typical housewife type.
Intj here, just commenting to say that I may listen in on a gossip session if it’s about someone I am currently observing and so want to know more about. I will also vent abt ppl that frustrate me in a journal or I’d vent to my intp sister. this however happens if the person’s actions are in the way of something important to me otherwise it would be a waste of my time writing about people when I could be doing something productive.
I am an intj woman. And a stay at home mom. Not all stereo types are accurate about us. Absolutely true that we are extremely independent, and being a stay at home mom is mentally very difficult for me. However; obviously we are capable of doing the job.
Same here. Once I had my children, it seemed like the most logical thing to do.
@@jadeg5753 yes. Both financially and practically.
I’m INTJ-T so I do have issues with the past but it’s self-critical and I don’t see the point in being emotional outwardly about it. Of course I feel, and deeply. I just am not outwardly over-emotional.
"... want to be recognized for their intelligence... dealing with those who doubt her innate ability is extremely frustrating" As a woman, I grew up witnessing others, usually less capable, casting doubt on my intelligence and abilities. It's annoying. If only they could be smarter than me, then I might have some respect for their opinions...
I am an intj woman. It feels very isolated and lonely, since you don't fit in with the women and you don't fit in with the men. I find that people feel threatened by me which sucks since it's not my intention to be intimidating but women seem to be threatened by my confidence and not engaging in trivial conversations and men seem to puff up if I try to explain something because they seem to find my logical intelligence threatening. This video was pretty spot on! I identified with about 98% of it.
While most of this is spot on, I believe there’s one aspect that can be incorrect and is often overlooked when it comes to INTJ women: how submissive we can be.
In most aspects of my life, I’m typically the one in control. I’m the one calling the shots, taking a leadership role, and the one others lean on. I don’t mind this, in fact, most days I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, this is NOT something I would want in a romantic relationship. I’m attracted to people with similar qualities of my own, so I won’t HAVE to be the one in driver’s seat so to speak. While I agree, I’ll never let someone totally control me, it’s nice to have someone who I trust enough to be the one to call the shots at times. I’m a boss all day; I don’t always want to be the boss when I come home from work 🙅♀️
Why is being an equal such a radical idea?
I’d rather gauge out my eyes with a dull spoon than be controlled!
I think you misunderstood my comment. Maybe try rereading it.
I am with you. I married an ISTP and he is a very masculine man with high standards and morals and I find it relaxing to know I can just let go...and let him lead. I need a break. Or maybe it's because it's a familiar thing since I grew up with a dad who was masculine and a leader with super high integrity and morals.
@@d-1486ikr? It's soo cringe
As an INTJ woman I can't say I do not like to take care of the household. I'm a perfectionist and can't stand mess. I love my home minimalist and always clean. When I put my headphones on and start cleaning my soul is thriving ! :D I can only focus in organised environment. I cook for myself, my partner cooks for himself. I do laundry and he takes out the trash. We live like this for 8 years now and have harmonious relationship. Btw he is an ENTJ :-))
I admit that as an intj woman i gossip a little, but is important to know about who are you dealing with and if they value your time in future projects
I found an ESTJ and made him respect my autonomy and intellect. Weird match, can't recommend it for everyone, but it works for us.
I’m an INTJ and I like to depend on myself I learned the hard way to never expect ppl to understand me and help me. I rather struggle alone than beg someone to help me I beg to differ😅😅
INTJ ladies! Let's create our own friends group to meet each other! I was never able to find too many female frineds here even though i would like to have someone around whom i can relate to.
I'm an INTJ that actually was a stay at home mother and ran a business. One of my daughters is an INTJ and wants to do the career route with no kids. But it is possible to do both as an INTJ female in case anyone is wanting to know.
I disagreed with everything up until he said we don't enjoy gossip. Very true. High school was a bore because of that. Everything after that in the video was 50/50.
As we get older we learn to live better with other people we still feel like we don’t fit in with other women we are still independent but we do learn to be more gracious.
I came out on tests as an INTJ but this video makes me wonder. I'm not a hardcore INTJ, at any rate. People have always told me their problems and I was trained to listen. Six kids in my family and my mother chose me to dump her heartaches on, telling me a lot of negative stuff about her father and about my father, sometimes very personal stuff about the latter. When I was in high school, other girls told me about when they were raped. I became a Christian when I was 17, and by the time I was 19, people were telling me about attacks from demons. I think that people sense I can handle listening to this kind of stuff. And I care very much about their pain, but I would never be able to handle it, if I felt helpless to do anything about it. Maybe not in a tangible way, but I can always turn the problem over to God and ask Him to do something about it.
I do not object to men treating me like a lady. One of the reasons I didn't bother to date after my divorce was because men no longer knew good manners and chivalry. In my thirties, I learned to relate to men only as friends and liked them better that way. Most of my male friends were quite a bit younger than me and I was like an older sister who taught them to open doors for women and walk on the outside, getting them prepared for when they met the right woman. If a man doesn't give up his seat on the bus to a pregnant woman or an older person, I consider him an oaf. As a grey- haired lady in her late sixties, I always appreciate sweet, young people offering me their seat and I compliment them on their good manners.
When I was married, I relied on my husband to do the manly stuff, particularly if the toilet was plugged, and to take care of house repairs and vehicle maintenance, even though I took Industrial Power in high school, the only girl in that class. Nope, I don't object to men lifting heavy things for me or doing work that is stinky or dirty or requires a lot of strength. But as a single woman, I have had to move heavy furniture by myself lots of times and figure out ingenious ways to do it without injuring my back. When I sorted out archives at an engineering firm, I moved 1000 heavy file boxes, twice. I worked with an 18-year-old Sikh kid who thought similar to me and we had fun climbing all over the shelves and figuring out how to shift those boxes, shoving them along planks.
When I was a waitress, I got stuck with training all the new staff how to do cleanup because I did it the best. I resented it because business was slower in the evening, I didn't get as many tips, and I didn't like cleaning. But my stepfather said that, if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well, and that stuck with me. Besides that, I hate grime more than I hate cleaning; I'm like my mother in that way. My manager said, "Your home must be immaculate." I said, "Are you kidding me? I write in bed and have ink all over my sheets and there are papers from one end of the counter to the other." I hadn't gotten into office clerk mode, yet, at that time in my life.
I can handle spontaneity, if it doesn't intrude on something more important. I sure didn't like my ex trying to control me, but one of the things I loved about him was his penchant for suddenly deciding to go somewhere and taking off, usually to California, at a moment's notice. Or if he planned a trip, he didn't tell me where we were going because he liked to surprise me. That was fun. He learned to do this early in our relationship because on our first trip, our honeymoon, I way overpacked and it must have drastically cut into our gas mileage. We didn't use most of the stuff I packed. I must have thought that California didn't have laundromats. Lol! And he sure didn't need to wear his three-piece suit or either of his two leather coats there. Lol!
My preference would always be to stay home with my kids (if they were respectful and cooperative), homeschool them, and be an ideal mother and wife, who also finds time to write. However, when my kids were in their teens and giving me a lot of trouble, I was glad to go to work where I could be around people who were sane.
you may not be INTJ
@@Lulu_alshehry You're right. This video made me realize I am not an INTJ. I looked at the INFJ videos and that is much more what I am like.
U not intj
All true, and it's damn lonely at the "top"! 🤣😎 I never wanted the moon and stars, just someone equal or better who wouldn't constantly point out how much better they are. Very hard to settle for... there's no way to say it without coming off as something I'm not so won't say it. However, would rather die alone (which is NOT what I want) than put myself through BS again.
Your video is inspiring. Thank you for sharing!