For number 4, (Being an INTJ myself) I actually think that INTJ's are pretty good at dropping their former beliefs as soon as they find data to the contrary, and in fact they are happy to find data to the contrary because I feel like INTJ's like to know the truth rather than just "be right" as it may seem at times (although playing devil's advocate is extremely fun in some situations). The only reason that it may seem like INTJ's hold onto this idea that they have from their leap of intuition is because very often they are very educated and use all the data the INTJ has at hand.
Thats actually correct as you may see the stereotype that INTJs hate tradition just like belief in something or maybe believe system itself we ask why until we find the answer as we do things our way
@@gayuncles Depends on how cumbersome (to us) the particular traditional behavior is. Usually we hate it, but can laugh at it if we don't have to be too near to it. To observe it from distance is funny, to be in the thick of it wasting time, is not fun at all.
i loved this, complete agreement. over time our acquired experience and data make us better and better at identifying the most likely patterns of truth and that simply wouldn't happen if we were resistant to outside input. i can also add that if we have gathered a lot of data/experience on an idea and hold strong conviction in our thoughts, then it may take a person quite a lot to convince us otherwise if they come across as not having put the proper effort into their counterargument. although i understand some may find us stubborn in that situation, i would say that it is not that we are unwilling to be convinced, but that person is not being very convincing. as an offshoot of that, i don't think we door slam people's ideas, so a person could always put more effort in and come back with new data and re-engage. there is always more data to consume and a bigger picture to reveal and i love that most of all
I am often called closed minded in discussions. I then give them some examples of how I have made 180s on topics I realized I was wrong about, but then it becomes about how “I have to always be right”
As an actual INTJ, if you discredit your INTJness because you are disorganized, look at your environment first. If you live with messy people that constantly disrupt every system you try to set in place, eventually you get trained to not even try. Try living by yourself, big change youll notice. Edit: Number 5 is difficult because people are annoying
I agree on another level, been living with myself for 1 and a half years during my foundation study due to covid. It was a mad peace I tell you. Then when I entered my degree I had no choice but to share rooms and houses. I feel drained especially because most of them were my coursemates. I don't feel like I have boundaries and privacy anymore. Wherever I go, I'll meet and interact with them. It's very exhausting.
Truth. We need to live/work in a place where we can function, and within our own timeframe. Not having those will naturally turn us inward as our minds, while extremely active, are definitely more conducive to work in as a comparison.
The environment you are in and the people who surround you give you a unique experience. Often times people adapt to molds to make sure that life is easier for them or it is more efficient. As an INTJ I have learnt to adapt to my family by staying away from disagreement and being more of a diplomat and keeping the peace. Personally I understand it's a waste of time and energy for me to try and disagree or debate things with the majority of people in my life so I don't do it.
My roommates are messy asf but when I lived alone I had a organized messed. Had nothing on the floor or my bed. Had a corner to put clothes or miscellaneous things. My bed was somewhat made up but not sloppy.
As an INTJ here are my 12 rules for life for everyone else: 1. Leave me alone. 2. Leave me alone. 3. Leave me alone. 4. Leave me alone. 5. Leave me alone. 6. Leave me alone. 7. Leave me alone. 8. Leave me alone. 9. Leave me alone. 10. Leave me alone. 11. Leave me alone. 12. No wearing hats on a Wednesday
#8 Style is the gateway to substance This is a fantastic observation you made about INTJs which very few mention. I'm a female INTJ and came to this realization years ago about the importance of presenting myself in a certain way. I've always dressed deliberately to get what I want as if I'm an actor. However, I consider each individual presentation *a part* of me which links to authenticity. I'll never wear something that doesn't have my trademark because even when I'm "acting" to get what I want, I still want to have part of my self presented to the world. Plus, it may be superficial but people treat you mostly based on how you dress and this is a reality I decided to embrace instead of being stubborn and living in LA LA lolo land. It's also so much fun wearing makeup, a dress, and heels swinging my designer bag while many people think I'm a dumb bimbo while I listen to them speak. Acting initially dumb helps me filter out the toxic types that think they can manipulate me based on my looks.
I am a male INTJ and I can relate to this. I considered dressing up in certain situations as a strategy to obtain my goals. Makes it faster to obtain my goals too. The fashionable trendy style I put on is all part of a plan.
@@sumaiaakter2570 My apologies, I saw your comment late. I've finished university a year ago and one thing I regret is not building my social skills and making connections. I was so immersed in my studies that I neglected that side and didn't realize how important it was (even to get a job) until afterwards. Attend clubs and events that you think you'll find like minded people ( trust me they are NOT a waste of time). Also, don't forget to take care of your health no matter how tough school gets ( I neglected myself and am now paying the price). People are much more interesting than we assume, so I would suggest listening to people more often even if it's in small doses. Last but not least.. DON'T push people that want to connect with you away unless they are straight up toxic. We intjs have a tendency to dismiss people and assume we can't learn from them.
#10: I'm an INTJ and a therapist. This is one of the better pieces of advice he could give to us INTJs. I cannot even begin to describe the enormous amount I have learned about the world and myself by asking, "What other reason could explain their behavior? What is their actual goal? What value do they have that I'm not seeing here?" Highly recommend!
Exactly, I’m always trying to see the bigger picture, checking out what I don’t already know from a certain situation or person. To understand better why we ended up with this kind of results. Instead of just focusing on what is before my eyes. There’s always an explanation whether we understand it or not.
I'm an ENFJ married to an INTJ: I perform this function for him a lot - explaining people things that do make sense: they just don't make sense to him. However, sometimes I do wonder if it would be easier for him if he could just assume it was all stupidity: consulting me will occasionally result him in discovering that the reason for the action is that the person rather sucks, and that seems to dishearten him in a way that it doesn't dishearten me.
I’m going into counseling as an INTJ after knowing the only way I could be an understanding human to most people was to assume a good (to them) motive for their strange actions. What’s great is using Ni and Te to first see patterns and then draw them out with questions.
0:18 Trust your own experience • many will claim to be just like you 0:52 Energy Efficiency, Min-Maxing 1:43 Don’t waste your resources 1:50 Be Intentional With People • Drained by social interaction • investment should yield results 2:40 Ground Patterns With Data • Check your math • Confirm • Avoid Bias 4:04 Make Yourself Useful To Others • Desires Independence • Involved while maintaining Independence 4:47 Everything is A Lesson • Detached Perspective becomes Self-Reflection • Analyze 5:56 Leap First (Sometimes) • Control Chaos 7:29 Style Is The Gateway To Substance • Mastermind, Schemer • Optical • Don’t like being superficial • Desire to be authentic 8:34 Avoid Isolation at all costs • It’s about staying in contact 9:18 There Are No Stupid People • Why is that person acting that way? • Learning why gives insight 10:19 Avoid Sensory Indulgence (And Rage) 10:56 Prioritize Experience over Achievement (Sometimes) • Adventure pays off
100% as you say, it's easiest playing or constraining to our strengths, optimising, planning and controlling only what's comfortable. Yet risk aversion delays action especially in stress, limiting a far greater potential global upside, uncovering Ne options that overcome Ni tunnel vision. Style over substance feels fake yet really improves external perceptions of our communication, relationships, collaboration, social isolation, collaborative relationships ivory towers and empathy.
I have one addition. Ask more questions instead of assuming you can figure it out on your own with information you have already gathered. More information from questions will always lead to more accurate conclusions. Even if those questions are hard to ask.
I agree. I'm an INFJ and I'm pretty sure my dad is INTJ. I see a lot of similarities between us and I can empathise with him easily. The main difference is he is more pragmatic and better at keeping a logical focus while my thought processes can more easily get swept up by emotions
Yeah, that makes sense. It also seems like they're far better at organization, too. I'm in the process of moving, and I can safely say that detailed organization stresses me the hell out. The only way to keep that stress at bay is to write everything down in a checklist and do things a little bit at a time. Otherwise, the whole process of packing, organizing, and unpacking would be hellish.
I agree. Whenever I meet an INFJ and we converse on a topic we draw similar conclusions but their rationale is from an entirely different viewpoint and it captivates me. Two sides of the same coin.
One of my favorite humans is an INFJ and we can talk for literal days, just going deep into these rabbit holes of ideas. We actually realized that, when we spend too long together without our other two peeps (ENFP and INTP), we kind of... lose touch with life. Ni is amazing and it's helpful to come up for air on occasion, lol. -INTJ
The taking control of chaotic situations is so spot on. I really get a kick out of a problem with high stakes. And I'm super bored right now because I'm all caught up on my tasks because I have a system and it's super efficient when i Focus on completing the tasks. Tasks without stakes are the worst
Number 6 is spot on….. I’ve been in situations where I’m having open, fun discussions with people my opinion offended someone and then in an attempt to ease their their mind I explained that I didn’t mean to upset them and I don’t place much value on feelings theirs or my own and that just made it much worse. In retrospect I get it, I upset them then told them I didn’t care if they were upset but I didn’t mean to sound careless I was just trying to explain how my mind actually works, my mind seeks to understand not empathize.
What you explained here is so hard for other humans to understand. Unless they try understanding other personalities beside themselves, it really is a struggle. Usually, I will listen to people opinions til the end and then give mine. But they always tend to put in emotions or react a bit too much with their feelings when I’m being objective. What matters to me are the ideas and opinions we are sharing not what you feel about it like I don’t have time for this I really don’t care. Let’s just go straight to the point. Not here to make you feel better or build your ego. And of course we might sound rude if we try to explain that we don’t care in a gentle way especially when we feel that we’re actually wasting time and energy. At that time I’ll just go silent or find an excuse to exit the conversation as I know most of humans will take stuffs too personally if we’re honest. Learning how their brain works and why they react a certain way, really helps in avoiding dramas.
My notes 5) make others successful and you will be needed. 6) leap first. Shake things up then plan, analyse, execute. Don't get stuck 8) Style. Just be authentic. 9) Avoid isolation at all costs 10) There are no stupid people. They just have a different mental model 11) Avoid sensory indulgence and rage 12) priorities experience over achievements
For ‘leaping first’ (7) I have recently read some Nietzsche who said to Live Dangerously! which basically means to be vigorous in your decisions. I have found this very useful when I get stuck in phases of indecision and need to realise that sometimes the plan and priorities are important enough to dive right even if it feels like there’s a more optimal outcome.
As an INTJ, I am deeply interested in Nietzsche's philosophy. His call to abandon religion and its morality, by its very nature, rebelled against the status quo and displays the essence of the INTJ. I've watched a lot of videos explaining his philosophy and ideas but I've been thinking of reading some of his books, what books do you recommend I should get first?
I have found that as a (self diagnosed) INTJ that if you appear "successful" people seem to think that you are. And that tends to lead your places. Hence the part about "looking the part" Quite often I get asked if I'm a part of something or some business just because I seem to look "professional" in my attire. I have also been told that I have quite expensive taste in all manners of my life. Best "Bang for your buck" rings true. I've always had the mindset you might as well get the best you can get if you're going to get something and to not settle for less. That mindset bleeds into many aspects of my life be at good or bad.
This video gave me a light bulb moment. I cannot stress how unusual it is for me to watch something and come to a realization that I did not previously have; well done. The point made about the pattern recognition doesn’t necessarily come to the right conclusion has finally answered the question of why we are so obsessed with heavily researching a topic. This is an insight that I didn’t previously have. The reason we’re constantly seeking out all of the information about a particular topic is to make sure that our pattern recognition has the most amount of data to connect the dots so that we come to the right answer. It’s just like artificial intelligence that requires massive amounts of data to train it to be able to accurately predict the situation. This is similar how the INTJ brain works. What am amazing insight to make. I had never thought it about it like this before. Clearly you know more when you research more, but your also optimizing the pattern recognition to see all potential future pathways and scenario outcomes with greater clarity.
Our curiosity is insatiable naturally, and when we remain in balance, it’s the vehicle for our continued growth throughout life’s journey. As confident as I can be, always there is the “but I could be wrong” voice. It’s a good thing. Stay curious.
My husband never understands why I leave stuff around the house, he thinks I’m a slob. What he doesn’t know is that those are strategic places where I know I will walk past by later in the day so I can take those items with me then, rather than making pointless one way trips just to throw something into the bin. I know I’ll be walking there later so why waste time. I guess this ties to the efficiency point. Any INTJ with similar experience?
Yes, so many people think that if they can't see a system, that means there isn't one. I had an ex who could not shut up about how 'unorganized' I was.... but then was confused as to how I rarely lost things. I tried to explain I had a system.... but no. I got full Semmelweis Effect in my face.
Yes! I have a particular spot on the kitchen bench where i place stuff to take down the hallway, instead of taking things down one at a time. I hate going to the shop for one thing, I wait till I have at least 3 items to buy. Efficiency.
That is why I have apparently random piles of books in each room of the house. It's about trying to leverag the habit-forming 'cues' when I'm in that location.
I thought this was very elegantly pieced together, Nathan. I think there's a certain subtlety and nuance that needs to be understood with INTJs and efficiency. We're great with efficiency *when we apply ourselves to it* but don't necessarily want to be seen as efficiency masters. People over-emphasise the role of Te in our lives. I obviously can't speak for all INTJs, but personally, Te isn't something I hold as a core central part of my identity. Instead, it's more like a switch I turn on and off. I dare say that most of us want to live in the Ni-Fi zone, and that's our natural state of being. Te is when I put the big-boy pants on and get down to work. Quite often, I don't even like this side of myself, but it is extremely useful, and gets things done. But I love turning it off when I'm done with it.
Yeah that makes perfect sense because Te is in the other attitude of the psyche (extraversion), that's why it normally exhausts every type to use the second function. We are good at it, but it strains us and we don't want to stay there all the time.
I’d say that Te is less like a switch and more like a chimney. It’s always there and it warms up our house, but most of the times, we are at our room or doing chores around the house, and it’s only a fraction of our time that is spent on an armchair beside that chimney. Either way, we feel its warmth.
I am an Intj, and I've got to tell you, I'm sick of myself and exhausted lol. Questioning why people do things constantly in my head and seeing past my own biases, though helpful sometimes makes it difficult for me to exist in a world of constant greys and bombardment from so many different perspectives that others strangely don't see. You understand the different sides but in the end sometimes there's just no compromise or middle ground or its just emotions vs logic between whichever stakeholders or parties it is. Many don't understand, I see it but I'm tired of seeing it. I wish I was blind, I wish I was ignorant. It's a mistake to be open and see past biases. Complicates life, and lifts the veil and I don't think a human being is able to handle this level of uncertainty because when you see it but have no good solution, that loneliness of knowing but being useless is a huge burden. I'm just tired ....
I hear you. I found a prayer chapel at the hospital near my house that is usually empty. I spend a lot of time there walking in circles talking to God. He understands your genius and your loneliness. He loves your mind.
Impeccable, short, directive, and objective. Thank you so much. You helping out a lot. This is a universal approach across 1st, 2nd, and 3rd world countries. Myself being in a 3rd world country you are actualizing my effectiveness and pragmatism. Thank you so much, man. Best Regards
*YES,* even when I know it's not entirely healthy to be "too introverted" & you must be *"sociable"* to function optimally in the *current matrix.* This list does make things somewhat easier for *this INTJ.* Thank you
I can agree with all points. #10 No one is stupid, I believe this. We aren't born stupid. Explaining something to someone to where they understand something better is a great feeling.
Out of the dozen or so ego inflating INTJ videos I've watched, this is the only one I've learned a few valuable lessons from. Thank you for your insight.
I feel so very called out. Workaholic who isn’t able to take breaks and experience things because it stresses me that I’m not working to the point that the break becomes more stressful than relaxing. Yeah… definitely not me
1.Nothing is a regret everything is an experience and a lesson. 2.there are no stupid people, what they are doing is stupid to you but still somehow get the job done.(or doing something that is actually smart in their genuine way.) 3. Staying in contact with people makes you understand what’s going on outside you’re house.
Great video as usual. Regarding number 11, I typically neglect these things more often than I overindulge in them. Especially if I'm working, I'll usually stay in my room the entire day without eating or drinking almost anything. This has been the case since childhood.
Not isolating is a constant concern.. it is attractive, and can be practical, but .. as noted, it can be dangerous. And not working ALL the time? Another dangerous attraction. I worked for a company where the manager sent me on a business trip overseas to the regional hub of one of our largest clients. I gave a presentation there, and a report / analysis when I got back. People looked bored, but all was ok. (That manager also loved to throw me into situations of chaos, and work with assholes, as he felt I handled it the best of any on staff. Dealing with angry people was assigned to someone who had that skills set.) The next manager, same company, sent me on a business trip to a neighboring city, I did the same thing, and got hit with a wall of hatred - in that company, it was supposed to be closer to paid vacation, and I was upsetting their scheme. I'm in a different and better employment situation now, needless to say.
Yup. This is me. I'm working on my empathy stat a lot since i figured out my type because that seems like the best way to upgrade myself. Every time a work of fiction gets a tear out of me it feels like a victory somehow. I also found that sticking to a workout routine to get into shape turned out to be laughably easy and i now wonder why it took me so long to get it over with.
The workout routine thing is crazy, after being cubby and over weight for years. It took a difficult/painful life changing event to get into the best shape of my life in just 2 months. Very laughable because its very fascinating.
This!!! i relate to every single rule in a way, some i needed to hear, maybe not that i didn't think about but because i couldn't put it into clear words for me, others i'm trying to bring off and others i actually do, somehow listening to you talking makes my head a bit clearer about my thoughts and self and others in general, i like that you always have new perspectives on things. thank you for these amazing videos! we appreciate it!
Your content is life changing to me. I adore your efforts and deep understanding. Everything is elegant and pleasurably explained. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sensitivity here on the internet.
@@lovewho Hello Sir Nathan, I LOVE YOUR VIDS, they have really helped me _a lot._ As an ENFJ though, I'm having difficulty interacting with my ESFP friends in a more constructive, future focused(Ni) way. I don't wanna hinder their SE TE loop, they literally designed like that for a reason, and I value it for them, especially since they don't procrastinate like I do👌🏾😂, it's just I wanna give them food for thought as to how they can _maybe_ direct for themselves all of this tactile progress and action and with my Ti explanatory nature, it can blow over their heads with their Fi bias and Ti polar. They are my friends tho, and I wanna at least give them a couple of ideas that can be both genuine to them as helpful for their future, either it's wisdom on just doing things, or how the world progresses or sumn else that u think could help them in a "12 rules/advice/suggestions for life, ESFP" Thanks 👌🏾👑🤙🏾
I can't thank you enough for making this video, Nate. I freaking love you dude. I can feel my mind crying in mixed emotions because how much this helps me. All these years of self-sabotage could've been avoided with the simplest tips and tricks you mentioned in this video. I wish I can hug someone right now but I'm alone 🤣😂
It's extremely impressive you could come up with all these without actually being an INTJ and learning them through experience. Now if only socialising as an adult was easier.
For #6 My own overall life hack that I use is using comedy to blunt the trauma/pain/embarrassment. The fastest way to put that fire out is to own it. This is what I tell everyone, for those times when your mouth clearly just got you in trouble. So here’s what I do- As fast as possible is I’ll raise my hand in the air and announce that ‘I’m taking the shame’. You’d be surprised how people are effected by this quick gesture. It’s someone suddenly taking immediate responsibility, publicly. Not seen often. So often times it’s brought out giggles and at the least save me from getting it caught in my head. By owning up to my own stupidity right then and there not only allows me to truly apologize. It also stops me from thinking about it for all of next week. Hope that helps some. ☮️
Watching this as a INTJ (took the test several times through my life). I realized the huge impact my friends have in my life because I’m not this cynical or deeply judgmental. I definitely judge others but I keep it in the back of my mind as a possibility but not a fact.
It's really amazing how infjs and intjs are different yet they can walk in the same path. They are both rare personality types and make for the enigmas of the society meaning they stick to their own patterns which differ so much from other people, yet they can still form parallel ways. As an infj I relate so much to most of these
The only version that *most* people enjoy of us is the non-intj version. When I sink into my core personality; I find people give me strange looks, can't relate or get bored easily cause I'm too "serious" for them. So as a coping mechanism I've learnt to be an actor and be what others want in able to *socialize* with them. This however, is exhausting and time consuming. Hence when INTJs reach a certain age, they see no point of acting unless it's for work or family related. It's EXTREMELY rare to find someone who likes us as we are and isn't trying to fix us. Plus, most people are so self consumed that they don't have the attention span to listen to our ideas. And INTJs LOVE ideas.
+it's especially hard being a female INTJ because problem solving (our fun as INTJs) isn't fun for most females. The positive side however, is that I was forced to develop my third function and am much more attuned to others emotions than most Male intjs.
@@BashaerB-h2c Spot on. I turned 30 last November and I can now see how I am exhausted of acting human. Like even my mother and sister (don’t know their type yet) tried to fix me when I was a child. So I was just like let me just act for now and try to understand how their brains work until I found a way to explain them how I work if they can listen until the end. Difficult to truly be ourselves with some type of people. They won’t try and make the time to understand us.
The sec rule is so true, i get so annoyed by my classmates WHEN THEY SPEAK UNNECESSARILY DURING CLASS LIKE ALL THE TIME just random thoughts said outloud THEN THEY COMPLAIN- im literally going insane by their incompetent minds- prayers ^^ edit after seeing number 10) FINE MAYBE THEY ACT STUPID BC… im sorry, I think of a reason- they are just incompetent. Perhaps they don’t like the quiet environment and find the need to fill it? At home they are oppressed and can’t get opinions out so they do it OVERLY at school? anyways-
9:45 TRUE!!! changing the perspective of how we seen others and they´re behaviors, can teach us many new things! I had to learn to do that as growing up, just to see if there was a missing point i did not took into account when strategycing. Counting mearly on plp when planning, when you do not understan they´re points of views nor their morals and values, is a HUGE MISTAKE....as INTJ´s knowing we did not think of that when making a plan and suddenly fail, can be catasthrophic to our selfesteam. We do not know how to handdle that kind of caos....not so often. 10:21 true. I can confirm that.
Couldn't agree more with you valuable insights: Maximising locally is a constrained optimisation, playing to our strengths and comfort zone yet limits a greater potential and delays action in avoiding uncertainty. So simply starting to do something rather than over thinking often is the best possible option to solving a problem as new facts emerge. Likewise, an evolving fact based hypothesis testing of problems also helps overcome tunnel vision, ungrounded planning and unhealthy risk aversion avoiding uncertainty. Serving others first and style over substance feels fake but helps external perceptions of collaboration, relationships and communication as well as social isolation.
I just found this channel tonight and have been binging the catalog on INTJ videos. Thanks for doing this, it's very interesting and insightful. I appreciate the way you speak, always accounting for everything, it's something I don't hear many people doing. I subscribed :D
INTJ here and you are so right on all of these, particularly #7 about leaping first. INTJs have great intuition, so leaping to an action, even (maybe especially) a risky one may feel averse to how we're wired, but the payoff can be incredible.
I get a thrill from jumping face first into chaos. It's a guilty pleasure of mine to "sort it out." Te/Se feels really good when they work together smoothly.
Thank you for this list of advices, it really resembles me my INTJ qualities. Still, some of Your points seem doubtful to me, presuming I'm an INTJ. Here are some of my thoughts: 1) The problem of INTJ's social connections lays in their social experience (especially, in early periods of life). People aren't genetically INTJs; so, the INTJ's confrontation and avoidance towards people/society is not like their choice, but rather their evolution through negative social experience. 2) Concerning the point about independence - it's not like INTJ feel the need to be needed (well, sometimes they really do, but it's rather a sentiment, than a global personal strive). Speaking in my terms, if the human is an animal that despised and rejected its animality, then the (ideal - there's nothing ideal) INTJ is a social being that rejected and despised its sociality. So, as humans cannot avoid some animal things like love, hunger, sleep and defecation, but in overall condemn the animal-like behaviour, in the same way an (ideal) INTJ cannot fully avoid contacting the society (like, buying food or cooperating on the work), but that's the thing they (we) would like to avoid, if possible. 3) Another point, that follows from previous two, is how deeply social contacts in the mind of (ideal) INTJ are connected with humiliation. Socializing means inability of INTJ to handle the situation by oneself. As I've told above, it's not fully inavoidable, but, as a negative experience and manifestation of their dependence from the society, it's highly toxic. So, Your offer of being a "useful idiot" for the society, a pad between some social structures for an (ideal) INTJ feels humiliating. 4) Concerning the point about tradition: actually, my first reaction was "WHADDYAMEAN WE DON'T LIKE TRADITIONS" (so triggered :D), but later you explained that your point concerned common beliefs, stereotypes, superstitions; and in this case that's totally true. But, IMHO (maybe, I'm not enough INTJ, who knows), INTJs do love traditions in two ways: 1) that corelates with their strive for authencity - so, on my example, I like folk-music, country, and the only holiday I celebrate is Maslenitsa (ancient Russian Spring holiday), as the last non-Christian non-Soviet non-Western holiday left in our practice; 2) the way that corelates with INTJs' strive to shape the surrounding world in the form they like, understand and count as justified. That is their own little traditions, patterns of doing things; again, on my example, I usually have a huge walk in some park with friends in the end of April, as it is the time, when the world outside cease to be winter, but still not warm enough for crowds in the parks (less people - more oxygen, as we say). To sum up, I'm not sure whether it is useful (effective) to address INTJs with society-oriented advices. I think it should be more like "how to use the society when necessary" ("how to live without society" would be even better :D). But still, an interesting insight and opinion, thanks once more.
Your explanation seems like an ISTJ. INTJ values authenticity because they respect ideas. The intuitive (Ne and Ni) as general into novelty, not traditions
@@eloffmusk could You, please, explain it in more details? I just don't get the connection between "respect ideas" and "value authencity", as the second is not necessary (and often is not the case) for the first. It's like socialite talks, where people can also discuss and respect ideas, but that is never about authencity. As I get, INTJ is more about not simply respect ideas, but to have a right and possibility to discuss and criticise them openly. But I'm not sure what does it have to do with traditions.
Well, well. I certainly understand that everything is a lesson, and hold myself responsible for any screwups. since I was probably not watching carefully enough.
The 2nd one made me chuckle because I even think about what order is the most efficient when I wake up. Like timing when I should eat and how it’s best to take a bath whilst brushing your teeth after I eat and drink coffee, never before to get all the dirt off. And this is a rule in my life now.
I study cognitive functions and I’m an INFJ, however majority of traits I have is similar to INTJ. Do to both are Ni dom. As for myself, my Ti is high for normal INFJ which is why my love ones see me as a thinker. My favorite lesson from this video is number 10. When he mention what are ignorant and stupid people’s purpose. I didn’t thought of that. I’ll definitely use that lesson to have better long-term.
The most worst thing i feel awkward as INTJ is even though i act normal people think i'm very superficial and always trying to make people feel down and think that i'm perfect I hear it very often from people day to day
I've recently learned to say, "It isn't efficient" when I'm questioned about why I don't do something their way. I used to just look at them (thinking, "Because it's stupid") but telling them it's inefficient shuts people up pretty effectively, and they let me get on with it.
I was getting sick of a lot of intj content but this video is actually helpful and notes some of my worst traits. I have barely spoken to another human being in six months and constantly am too judgemental lol. And omg my rage and over bloody indulgence in food my goodness.
Funny enough, I'm a chemist turned psychic reader (yes, I'm an INTJ). Most of this, including the service portion, is what I've learned while providing said intuitive service to people. I can't believe how enriched my viewpoints have become simply by helping people. From this comes understanding, tolerance for others' foibles and a weird sense of peace in being useful. In terms of difficulties, I'd say that the experience over achievement lesson is the hardest to abide by consistently. The need to the thing the right way the first time I do it is pretty strong, so I forget, at times, to just do 'the thing' without building unnecessary stress for myself. Anyway, this video is presently elegantly, as usual.
As an INTJ in my 40s I very much approve this list of personally familiar points that has helped with self realization. (Though I would exchange "stupid" for "useless" in #10 and "avoid" with "manage" in #11. Stupid exists even if it is an emergent property and anger can be very useful - even facilitate taking the leap)
This video gets how INTJs struggles with society and how they think. It's very hard to get this cold whater, but it's necessary for us to have a better life.
As a speculator, naturally connecting patterns is very useful to me. But yes, validating what I see by scrubbing back through price (data) gives me the confidence to trust my findings. Things that repeat are very easily picked up by intjs and you always have an idea of what might happen by referencing the past.
One of these days I am actually going to make progress at work - and when that day comes I am sure the world will fall apart; because that is just simply not supposed to happen!
On #6 - They ARE able to be emotionally detached and more objective when directing their attention outward, however their often under-used Fi seems to make introspection and self-reflection difficult for undisciplined INTJs. Whereas INFPs for example are innately good at introspection (usually), INTJs often struggle with this. However they may good at self-evaluation in terms of performance, goal attainment, - but they struggle to account for their own emotions, and so they often struggle to realize or acknowledge where their behavior or motives have been impacted by specific emotions. They also often have a competitive nature, and can become frustrated when others subject them to non-practical social etiquette which they may find unintuitive; since most "criticisms" of an INTJ are going to come in the form of social critiques, they will often respond to these criticisms with frustration and annoyance, because they find these rules both arbitrary and frivolous, which as #3 points out, is exhausting to the INTJ. An INTJ is much more likely to receive criticism well, and appreciate its value, when it comes from a respected source, and when it is in regards to measurable, concrete matters. Personally, I think my best friend (INTJ ) and I (INFP) balance each other well as confidants, because we're capable of using a common language to help each other dissect our own issues from logical, pragmatic, and emotionally aware perspectives - I help her understand her and others' feelings and address the things she feels but won't consciously acknowledge, while she helps me to consciously accept the things that I know to be true but which conflict with things that I feel (vindication vs guilt, or responsibility vs external locus of control), but although I have seen her develop and engage her Fi more over the years, I have noticed that most of her internal work has been based on her accumulative understanding and self-education in psychology (and theoretical psychology), rather than a developed Fi. Of course I have my limitations as well; my Te rarely wishes to engage in any way to stabilize my life, while hers is employed to great effect. While my self-actualization is hindered by a weak Te and inaction, her self-knowledge is stunted by a weak Fi.
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For number 4, (Being an INTJ myself) I actually think that INTJ's are pretty good at dropping their former beliefs as soon as they find data to the contrary, and in fact they are happy to find data to the contrary because I feel like INTJ's like to know the truth rather than just "be right" as it may seem at times (although playing devil's advocate is extremely fun in some situations). The only reason that it may seem like INTJ's hold onto this idea that they have from their leap of intuition is because very often they are very educated and use all the data the INTJ has at hand.
Thats actually correct as you may see the stereotype that INTJs hate tradition just like belief in something or maybe believe system itself we ask why until we find the answer as we do things our way
@@ouifuDo we hate it or find humor in the stupidity of it?
@@gayuncles Depends on how cumbersome (to us) the particular traditional behavior is. Usually we hate it, but can laugh at it if we don't have to be too near to it. To observe it from distance is funny, to be in the thick of it wasting time, is not fun at all.
i loved this, complete agreement. over time our acquired experience and data make us better and better at identifying the most likely patterns of truth and that simply wouldn't happen if we were resistant to outside input. i can also add that if we have gathered a lot of data/experience on an idea and hold strong conviction in our thoughts, then it may take a person quite a lot to convince us otherwise if they come across as not having put the proper effort into their counterargument. although i understand some may find us stubborn in that situation, i would say that it is not that we are unwilling to be convinced, but that person is not being very convincing. as an offshoot of that, i don't think we door slam people's ideas, so a person could always put more effort in and come back with new data and re-engage. there is always more data to consume and a bigger picture to reveal and i love that most of all
I am often called closed minded in discussions. I then give them some examples of how I have made 180s on topics I realized I was wrong about, but then it becomes about how “I have to always be right”
As an actual INTJ, if you discredit your INTJness because you are disorganized, look at your environment first. If you live with messy people that constantly disrupt every system you try to set in place, eventually you get trained to not even try. Try living by yourself, big change youll notice.
Edit: Number 5 is difficult because people are annoying
You can't change people much, the only options is to change the system 😉
I agree on another level, been living with myself for 1 and a half years during my foundation study due to covid. It was a mad peace I tell you. Then when I entered my degree I had no choice but to share rooms and houses. I feel drained especially because most of them were my coursemates. I don't feel like I have boundaries and privacy anymore. Wherever I go, I'll meet and interact with them. It's very exhausting.
Truth. We need to live/work in a place where we can function, and within our own timeframe. Not having those will naturally turn us inward as our minds, while extremely active, are definitely more conducive to work in as a comparison.
The environment you are in and the people who surround you give you a unique experience. Often times people adapt to molds to make sure that life is easier for them or it is more efficient. As an INTJ I have learnt to adapt to my family by staying away from disagreement and being more of a diplomat and keeping the peace. Personally I understand it's a waste of time and energy for me to try and disagree or debate things with the majority of people in my life so I don't do it.
My roommates are messy asf but when I lived alone I had a organized messed. Had nothing on the floor or my bed. Had a corner to put clothes or miscellaneous things. My bed was somewhat made up but not sloppy.
As an INTJ here are my 12 rules for life for everyone else:
1. Leave me alone.
2. Leave me alone.
3. Leave me alone.
4. Leave me alone.
5. Leave me alone.
6. Leave me alone.
7. Leave me alone.
8. Leave me alone.
9. Leave me alone.
10. Leave me alone.
11. Leave me alone.
12. No wearing hats on a Wednesday
INTJ- Very interesting! 🧐🤔 I agree with all but #12…why no hats on Wednesday??? Hats are cool and classy!
@@Happy-hippy wKwKwK
Gee okay edgelord
A-men, my friend.
I agree, but then I complain about - I have no friends! Nobody calls me!
As an INTJ, i didn't like someone telling me my rules.
As a 'maturing' INTJ, this video has a lot of value and useful insights. Thank you.
#8 Style is the gateway to substance
This is a fantastic observation you made about INTJs which very few mention. I'm a female INTJ and came to this realization years ago about the importance of presenting myself in a certain way. I've always dressed deliberately to get what I want as if I'm an actor. However, I consider each individual presentation *a part* of me which links to authenticity. I'll never wear something that doesn't have my trademark because even when I'm "acting" to get what I want, I still want to have part of my self presented to the world. Plus, it may be superficial but people treat you mostly based on how you dress and this is a reality I decided to embrace instead of being stubborn and living in LA LA lolo land. It's also so much fun wearing makeup, a dress, and heels swinging my designer bag while many people think I'm a dumb bimbo while I listen to them speak. Acting initially dumb helps me filter out the toxic types that think they can manipulate me based on my looks.
Agreed. Also a female intj who realised this as well. And once I approach it like a technical game and skill, it becomes educational and fun.
I came to this conclusion at a project exhibition event in my college.
Same. Can you give me some advice regarding life as I am only 19 years old and starting University soon? Fellow female INTJ-A 7w8. Thank you.
I am a male INTJ and I can relate to this. I considered dressing up in certain situations as a strategy to obtain my goals. Makes it faster to obtain my goals too. The fashionable trendy style I put on is all part of a plan.
@@sumaiaakter2570 My apologies, I saw your comment late. I've finished university a year ago and one thing I regret is not building my social skills and making connections. I was so immersed in my studies that I neglected that side and didn't realize how important it was (even to get a job) until afterwards. Attend clubs and events that you think you'll find like minded people ( trust me they are NOT a waste of time). Also, don't forget to take care of your health no matter how tough school gets ( I neglected myself and am now paying the price). People are much more interesting than we assume, so I would suggest listening to people more often even if it's in small doses. Last but not least.. DON'T push people that want to connect with you away unless they are straight up toxic. We intjs have a tendency to dismiss people and assume we can't learn from them.
#10: I'm an INTJ and a therapist. This is one of the better pieces of advice he could give to us INTJs. I cannot even begin to describe the enormous amount I have learned about the world and myself by asking, "What other reason could explain their behavior? What is their actual goal? What value do they have that I'm not seeing here?" Highly recommend!
THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING
Exactly, I’m always trying to see the bigger picture, checking out what I don’t already know from a certain situation or person. To understand better why we ended up with this kind of results.
Instead of just focusing on what is before my eyes. There’s always an explanation whether we understand it or not.
I'm an ENFJ married to an INTJ: I perform this function for him a lot - explaining people things that do make sense: they just don't make sense to him. However, sometimes I do wonder if it would be easier for him if he could just assume it was all stupidity: consulting me will occasionally result him in discovering that the reason for the action is that the person rather sucks, and that seems to dishearten him in a way that it doesn't dishearten me.
That's why I'm interested in psychology and psychopathology, and im mostly sure im not an intj
I’m going into counseling as an INTJ after knowing the only way I could be an understanding human to most people was to assume a good (to them) motive for their strange actions. What’s great is using Ni and Te to first see patterns and then draw them out with questions.
0:18 Trust your own experience
• many will claim to be just like you
0:52 Energy Efficiency, Min-Maxing 1:43 Don’t waste your resources
1:50 Be Intentional With People
• Drained by social interaction
• investment should yield results
2:40 Ground Patterns With Data
• Check your math
• Confirm • Avoid Bias
4:04 Make Yourself Useful To Others
• Desires Independence
• Involved while maintaining Independence
4:47 Everything is A Lesson
• Detached Perspective becomes Self-Reflection
• Analyze
5:56 Leap First (Sometimes)
• Control Chaos
7:29 Style Is The Gateway To Substance
• Mastermind, Schemer
• Optical
• Don’t like being superficial
• Desire to be authentic
8:34 Avoid Isolation at all costs
• It’s about staying in contact
9:18 There Are No Stupid People
• Why is that person acting that way?
• Learning why gives insight
10:19 Avoid Sensory Indulgence (And Rage)
10:56 Prioritize Experience over Achievement (Sometimes)
• Adventure pays off
As an INTJ I like the time saving you gave me with your comment ;)
Well done, thank you!
Thanks for saving my time
100% as you say, it's easiest playing or constraining to our strengths, optimising, planning and controlling only what's comfortable. Yet risk aversion delays action especially in stress, limiting a far greater potential global upside, uncovering Ne options that overcome Ni tunnel vision.
Style over substance feels fake yet really improves external perceptions of our communication, relationships, collaboration, social isolation, collaborative relationships ivory towers and empathy.
I have one addition. Ask more questions instead of assuming you can figure it out on your own with information you have already gathered. More information from questions will always lead to more accurate conclusions. Even if those questions are hard to ask.
It's interesting how similar yet different INFJs and INTJs are. Our dominant introverted intuition really colors everything we do.
As an *inXj* I confirm that
I agree. I'm an INFJ and I'm pretty sure my dad is INTJ. I see a lot of similarities between us and I can empathise with him easily. The main difference is he is more pragmatic and better at keeping a logical focus while my thought processes can more easily get swept up by emotions
Yeah, that makes sense. It also seems like they're far better at organization, too.
I'm in the process of moving, and I can safely say that detailed organization stresses me the hell out. The only way to keep that stress at bay is to write everything down in a checklist and do things a little bit at a time. Otherwise, the whole process of packing, organizing, and unpacking would be hellish.
I agree. Whenever I meet an INFJ and we converse on a topic we draw similar conclusions but their rationale is from an entirely different viewpoint and it captivates me. Two sides of the same coin.
One of my favorite humans is an INFJ and we can talk for literal days, just going deep into these rabbit holes of ideas. We actually realized that, when we spend too long together without our other two peeps (ENFP and INTP), we kind of... lose touch with life. Ni is amazing and it's helpful to come up for air on occasion, lol. -INTJ
I really appreciate that you didn't waste my time or yours with meaningless stock footage.
The taking control of chaotic situations is so spot on. I really get a kick out of a problem with high stakes. And I'm super bored right now because I'm all caught up on my tasks because I have a system and it's super efficient when i Focus on completing the tasks. Tasks without stakes are the worst
This video is simultaneously the most out-of-pocket call out, and also extremely useful advice. Very enjoyable, INTJ approves
Nothing practical
Number 6 is spot on….. I’ve been in situations where I’m having open, fun discussions with people my opinion offended someone and then in an attempt to ease their their mind I explained that I didn’t mean to upset them and I don’t place much value on feelings theirs or my own and that just made it much worse. In retrospect I get it, I upset them then told them I didn’t care if they were upset but I didn’t mean to sound careless I was just trying to explain how my mind actually works, my mind seeks to understand not empathize.
I understand you .
LOL. I understand how you feel, I just don't care. :D
What you explained here is so hard for other humans to understand. Unless they try understanding other personalities beside themselves, it really is a struggle.
Usually, I will listen to people opinions til the end and then give mine. But they always tend to put in emotions or react a bit too much with their feelings when I’m being objective. What matters to me are the ideas and opinions we are sharing not what you feel about it like I don’t have time for this I really don’t care. Let’s just go straight to the point. Not here to make you feel better or build your ego. And of course we might sound rude if we try to explain that we don’t care in a gentle way especially when we feel that we’re actually wasting time and energy. At that time I’ll just go silent or find an excuse to exit the conversation as I know most of humans will take stuffs too personally if we’re honest. Learning how their brain works and why they react a certain way, really helps in avoiding dramas.
I can relate.I am guilty of pissing people off with my honesty.
On the other hand they should have been thankfull i did not lie!
@@alegnalowe3679 Unlike us, most people prefer the comfortable lie to the painful truth.
"High levels of social investment should yield very worthwhile results."
My notes
5) make others successful and you will be needed.
6) leap first. Shake things up then plan, analyse, execute. Don't get stuck
8) Style. Just be authentic.
9) Avoid isolation at all costs
10) There are no stupid people. They just have a different mental model
11) Avoid sensory indulgence and rage
12) priorities experience over achievements
For ‘leaping first’ (7) I have recently read some Nietzsche who said to Live Dangerously! which basically means to be vigorous in your decisions. I have found this very useful when I get stuck in phases of indecision and need to realise that sometimes the plan and priorities are important enough to dive right even if it feels like there’s a more optimal outcome.
As an INTJ, I am deeply interested in Nietzsche's philosophy. His call to abandon religion and its morality, by its very nature, rebelled against the status quo and displays the essence of the INTJ. I've watched a lot of videos explaining his philosophy and ideas but I've been thinking of reading some of his books, what books do you recommend I should get first?
@@ivantung6976 i liked Nietzsche for long before finding he would be an INTJ as well, just made me identify even more with his work.
Well said, that indefinite data-collecting stage has burned me a few times too.
I have found that as a (self diagnosed) INTJ that if you appear "successful" people seem to think that you are. And that tends to lead your places. Hence the part about "looking the part" Quite often I get asked if I'm a part of something or some business just because I seem to look "professional" in my attire.
I have also been told that I have quite expensive taste in all manners of my life. Best "Bang for your buck" rings true. I've always had the mindset you might as well get the best you can get if you're going to get something and to not settle for less.
That mindset bleeds into many aspects of my life be at good or bad.
This video gave me a light bulb moment. I cannot stress how unusual it is for me to watch something and come to a realization that I did not previously have; well done. The point made about the pattern recognition doesn’t necessarily come to the right conclusion has finally answered the question of why we are so obsessed with heavily researching a topic. This is an insight that I didn’t previously have. The reason we’re constantly seeking out all of the information about a particular topic is to make sure that our pattern recognition has the most amount of data to connect the dots so that we come to the right answer. It’s just like artificial intelligence that requires massive amounts of data to train it to be able to accurately predict the situation. This is similar how the INTJ brain works. What am amazing insight to make. I had never thought it about it like this before. Clearly you know more when you research more, but your also optimizing the pattern recognition to see all potential future pathways and scenario outcomes with greater clarity.
That's why when people tell us we don't know what we're talking about it's the highest insult possible.
Our curiosity is insatiable naturally, and when we remain in balance, it’s the vehicle for our continued growth throughout life’s journey. As confident as I can be, always there is the “but I could be wrong” voice. It’s a good thing. Stay curious.
My husband never understands why I leave stuff around the house, he thinks I’m a slob. What he doesn’t know is that those are strategic places where I know I will walk past by later in the day so I can take those items with me then, rather than making pointless one way trips just to throw something into the bin. I know I’ll be walking there later so why waste time. I guess this ties to the efficiency point. Any INTJ with similar experience?
Yes!
Yes, so many people think that if they can't see a system, that means there isn't one. I had an ex who could not shut up about how 'unorganized' I was.... but then was confused as to how I rarely lost things. I tried to explain I had a system.... but no. I got full Semmelweis Effect in my face.
That's me and my ISFJ parents issue in my entire youth lol.
Yes! I have a particular spot on the kitchen bench where i place stuff to take down the hallway, instead of taking things down one at a time. I hate going to the shop for one thing, I wait till I have at least 3 items to buy. Efficiency.
That is why I have apparently random piles of books in each room of the house. It's about trying to leverag the habit-forming 'cues' when I'm in that location.
I thought this was very elegantly pieced together, Nathan. I think there's a certain subtlety and nuance that needs to be understood with INTJs and efficiency. We're great with efficiency *when we apply ourselves to it* but don't necessarily want to be seen as efficiency masters.
People over-emphasise the role of Te in our lives. I obviously can't speak for all INTJs, but personally, Te isn't something I hold as a core central part of my identity. Instead, it's more like a switch I turn on and off. I dare say that most of us want to live in the Ni-Fi zone, and that's our natural state of being. Te is when I put the big-boy pants on and get down to work. Quite often, I don't even like this side of myself, but it is extremely useful, and gets things done. But I love turning it off when I'm done with it.
Yeah that makes perfect sense because Te is in the other attitude of the psyche (extraversion), that's why it normally exhausts every type to use the second function. We are good at it, but it strains us and we don't want to stay there all the time.
I’d say that Te is less like a switch and more like a chimney.
It’s always there and it warms up our house, but most of the times, we are at our room or doing chores around the house, and it’s only a fraction of our time that is spent on an armchair beside that chimney. Either way, we feel its warmth.
@@pinkbanana1276 Te ain't warm.
Te is why people think im an extrovert at work. They don't see the dreamy Fi at home.
I see skies of blue
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
I am an Intj, and I've got to tell you, I'm sick of myself and exhausted lol. Questioning why people do things constantly in my head and seeing past my own biases, though helpful sometimes makes it difficult for me to exist in a world of constant greys and bombardment from so many different perspectives that others strangely don't see. You understand the different sides but in the end sometimes there's just no compromise or middle ground or its just emotions vs logic between whichever stakeholders or parties it is. Many don't understand, I see it but I'm tired of seeing it. I wish I was blind, I wish I was ignorant. It's a mistake to be open and see past biases. Complicates life, and lifts the veil and I don't think a human being is able to handle this level of uncertainty because when you see it but have no good solution, that loneliness of knowing but being useless is a huge burden. I'm just tired ....
I hear you. I found a prayer chapel at the hospital near my house that is usually empty. I spend a lot of time there walking in circles talking to God. He understands your genius and your loneliness. He loves your mind.
It always feels so strange to watch videos that pinpoint exactly who I am. This was great advice. Thank you.
I am so detached that I float out of myself and see that is all layers in an illusory reality all blending in my fake brain
"Avoid rage"
Look man, are we supposed to get in touch with our feelings or not? 😛
Impeccable, short, directive, and objective. Thank you so much. You helping out a lot. This is a universal approach across 1st, 2nd, and 3rd world countries. Myself being in a 3rd world country you are actualizing my effectiveness and pragmatism. Thank you so much, man.
Best Regards
*YES,* even when I know it's not entirely healthy to be "too introverted" & you must be *"sociable"* to function optimally in the *current matrix.* This list does make things somewhat easier for *this INTJ.* Thank you
7) Leap First
IxxJs: ✋😫
ExxPs: 😎👍
lol
Spot on - deeply resonate with every single point. Nathan, you really get at the core of INTJ dilemmas. Much appreciated!
I laughed out loud at 10. As an INTJ myself I related to a lot of what was listed. Well done
Same!
Me to 🤣
same ... there definitelly are stupid people in this world. Just not everyone is on the same level.
Especially 09:18 "whomever just flashed through your mind...."
Same dude
I can agree with all points. #10 No one is stupid, I believe this. We aren't born stupid. Explaining something to someone to where they understand something better is a great feeling.
Out of the dozen or so ego inflating INTJ videos I've watched, this is the only one I've learned a few valuable lessons from. Thank you for your insight.
I feel so very called out.
Workaholic who isn’t able to take breaks and experience things because it stresses me that I’m not working to the point that the break becomes more stressful than relaxing.
Yeah… definitely not me
Edited my comment at point 12. Did you get that far, because it sounds exactly like you.
@@Catherine_2571 a what now?
1.Nothing is a regret everything is an experience and a lesson.
2.there are no stupid people, what they are doing is stupid to you but still somehow get the job done.(or doing something that is actually smart in their genuine way.)
3. Staying in contact with people makes you understand what’s going on outside you’re house.
Already following these, but glad I watched this video to enforce my trust in them.
Specially #11, that one's so hard for me, still working on it.
“Gain independence through service..” That’s such good advice for us! Think of yourself as the power behind the scene 💕
I have just discovered this channel, and I am sitting head in hands listening to number 9.
You just revealed my INTJ mind/soul. And all is true. ✔️
I admire your efficiency and job as always.
Hi elodie
Great video as usual. Regarding number 11, I typically neglect these things more often than I overindulge in them. Especially if I'm working, I'll usually stay in my room the entire day without eating or drinking almost anything. This has been the case since childhood.
Not isolating is a constant concern.. it is attractive, and can be practical, but .. as noted, it can be dangerous. And not working ALL the time? Another dangerous attraction.
I worked for a company where the manager sent me on a business trip overseas to the regional hub of one of our largest clients. I gave a presentation there, and a report / analysis when I got back. People looked bored, but all was ok. (That manager also loved to throw me into situations of chaos, and work with assholes, as he felt I handled it the best of any on staff. Dealing with angry people was assigned to someone who had that skills set.)
The next manager, same company, sent me on a business trip to a neighboring city, I did the same thing, and got hit with a wall of hatred - in that company, it was supposed to be closer to paid vacation, and I was upsetting their scheme. I'm in a different and better employment situation now, needless to say.
Same here. I actually swing between neglect of the sensory and indulgence of it. And rage. I have a lot of rage.
Yup. This is me. I'm working on my empathy stat a lot since i figured out my type because that seems like the best way to upgrade myself. Every time a work of fiction gets a tear out of me it feels like a victory somehow.
I also found that sticking to a workout routine to get into shape turned out to be laughably easy and i now wonder why it took me so long to get it over with.
The workout routine thing is crazy, after being cubby and over weight for years. It took a difficult/painful life changing event to get into the best shape of my life in just 2 months. Very laughable because its very fascinating.
This!!! i relate to every single rule in a way, some i needed to hear, maybe not that i didn't think about but because i couldn't put it into clear words for me, others i'm trying to bring off and others i actually do, somehow listening to you talking makes my head a bit clearer about my thoughts and self and others in general, i like that you always have new perspectives on things. thank you for these amazing videos! we appreciate it!
I do #10 all the time due to the nature of my work. And they call me paranoid. Until I'm right.
Your content is life changing to me. I adore your efforts and deep understanding. Everything is elegant and pleasurably explained. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and sensitivity here on the internet.
This was wonderful. Your videos are always charming, informative, challenging, concise, and humorous. I learned a lot from this one. ~INTJ here ❤️
"... then again, you are Intj, so you are not going to complain about this." I love it :D
INTJs make such great viewers... *chefs kiss* ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Hello Sir Nathan, I LOVE YOUR VIDS, they have really helped me _a lot._ As an ENFJ though, I'm having difficulty interacting with my ESFP friends in a more constructive, future focused(Ni) way. I don't wanna hinder their SE TE loop, they literally designed like that for a reason, and I value it for them, especially since they don't procrastinate like I do👌🏾😂, it's just I wanna give them food for thought as to how they can _maybe_ direct for themselves all of this tactile progress and action and with my Ti explanatory nature, it can blow over their heads with their Fi bias and Ti polar. They are my friends tho, and I wanna at least give them a couple of ideas that can be both genuine to them as helpful for their future, either it's wisdom on just doing things, or how the world progresses or sumn else that u think could help them in a "12 rules/advice/suggestions for life, ESFP" Thanks 👌🏾👑🤙🏾
I can't thank you enough for making this video, Nate. I freaking love you dude. I can feel my mind crying in mixed emotions because how much this helps me. All these years of self-sabotage could've been avoided with the simplest tips and tricks you mentioned in this video. I wish I can hug someone right now but I'm alone 🤣😂
This is a really Great Video . Made my day... 😏👍
It's extremely impressive you could come up with all these without actually being an INTJ and learning them through experience.
Now if only socialising as an adult was easier.
My son typed him as an INTJ. Has he ever said what his personality type is?
@@3Zeppoli Nope
@@3Zeppoli I remember he said that he (Nathan) is INTP
@@rossy3lo He speaks and processes way too fast for an intp in my opinion.
wait what i thought he was an intj
Thanks man. I've been stuck for along time. I don't think I'll be able to move forward unless I take a leap. That's good advice.
0:00 - 7:28 🙏🏾RL❤️
… RL fruit for thought❤️
Thank you for spending the time to create and share this content awareness/perspective🙏🏾
This is probably the most helpful video for me.
This is precious information. 💎
I saved it in my level up playlist and will definitely play it again anytime i feel confused.
I agree with all of these. #9 is certainly the hardest for me. I default to lone work, like hobbies, etc.
For #6 My own overall life hack that I use is using comedy to blunt the trauma/pain/embarrassment.
The fastest way to put that fire out is to own it.
This is what I tell everyone, for those times when your mouth clearly just got you in trouble.
So here’s what I do- As fast as possible is I’ll raise my hand in the air and announce that ‘I’m taking the shame’.
You’d be surprised how people are effected by this quick gesture. It’s someone suddenly taking immediate responsibility, publicly. Not seen often.
So often times it’s brought out giggles and at the least save me from getting it caught in my head.
By owning up to my own stupidity right then and there not only allows me to truly apologize.
It also stops me from thinking about it for all of next week. Hope that helps some. ☮️
Watching this as a INTJ (took the test several times through my life). I realized the huge impact my friends have in my life because I’m not this cynical or deeply judgmental. I definitely judge others but I keep it in the back of my mind as a possibility but not a fact.
so true. i deeply desire to help the hoomans but i don't want to be in the same room with them.
Very useful advice, especially about paying extra attention to ones own confirmation bias. Thank you!
Oh look at that, surprise, surprise im finally early for once
It's really amazing how infjs and intjs are different yet they can walk in the same path. They are both rare personality types and make for the enigmas of the society meaning they stick to their own patterns which differ so much from other people, yet they can still form parallel ways. As an infj I relate so much to most of these
Very helpful video! INTJs should definitely try to socialize more with people and not to be closed in their own world and thoughts all the time.
The only version that *most* people enjoy of us is the non-intj version. When I sink into my core personality; I find people give me strange looks, can't relate or get bored easily cause I'm too "serious" for them. So as a coping mechanism I've learnt to be an actor and be what others want in able to *socialize* with them. This however, is exhausting and time consuming. Hence when INTJs reach a certain age, they see no point of acting unless it's for work or family related. It's EXTREMELY rare to find someone who likes us as we are and isn't trying to fix us. Plus, most people are so self consumed that they don't have the attention span to listen to our ideas. And INTJs LOVE ideas.
+it's especially hard being a female INTJ because problem solving (our fun as INTJs) isn't fun for most females. The positive side however, is that I was forced to develop my third function and am much more attuned to others emotions than most Male intjs.
@@BashaerB-h2c Spot on. I turned 30 last November and I can now see how I am exhausted of acting human. Like even my mother and sister (don’t know their type yet) tried to fix me when I was a child. So I was just like let me just act for now and try to understand how their brains work until I found a way to explain them how I work if they can listen until the end.
Difficult to truly be ourselves with some type of people. They won’t try and make the time to understand us.
Impossible. I should just neck myself. All intj are awful. Worst genes.
You are a genius - I love your channel
The sec rule is so true, i get so annoyed by my classmates WHEN THEY SPEAK UNNECESSARILY DURING CLASS LIKE ALL THE TIME just random thoughts said outloud THEN THEY COMPLAIN- im literally going insane by their incompetent minds- prayers
^^ edit after seeing number 10) FINE MAYBE THEY ACT STUPID BC… im sorry, I think of a reason- they are just incompetent. Perhaps they don’t like the quiet environment and find the need to fill it? At home they are oppressed and can’t get opinions out so they do it OVERLY at school? anyways-
This was good.
As "psudio" as Myers-Briggs might be, this described me well.
"Leap first" looks like life changing rule to me. Organising chaos is pleasure so i should do it last. Thank you :]
9:45 TRUE!!! changing the perspective of how we seen others and they´re behaviors, can teach us many new things! I had to learn to do that as growing up, just to see if there was a missing point i did not took into account when strategycing. Counting mearly on plp when planning, when you do not understan they´re points of views nor their morals and values, is a HUGE MISTAKE....as INTJ´s knowing we did not think of that when making a plan and suddenly fail, can be catasthrophic to our selfesteam. We do not know how to handdle that kind of caos....not so often. 10:21 true. I can confirm that.
I’ve listened to this a few times, and still, I find something useful each time. I see myself good at 6, developing 7, and struggling with 9.
Couldn't agree more with you valuable insights:
Maximising locally is a constrained optimisation, playing to our strengths and comfort zone yet limits a greater potential and delays action in avoiding uncertainty.
So simply starting to do something rather than over thinking often is the best possible option to solving a problem as new facts emerge.
Likewise, an evolving fact based hypothesis testing of problems also helps overcome tunnel vision, ungrounded planning and unhealthy risk aversion avoiding uncertainty.
Serving others first and style over substance feels fake but helps external perceptions of collaboration, relationships and communication as well as social isolation.
Spot on advice. Excellent information and well presented.
So brilliant how you went to #7 taking control of chaotic situations.
I just found this channel tonight and have been binging the catalog on INTJ videos. Thanks for doing this, it's very interesting and insightful. I appreciate the way you speak, always accounting for everything, it's something I don't hear many people doing. I subscribed :D
INTJ here and you are so right on all of these, particularly #7 about leaping first. INTJs have great intuition, so leaping to an action, even (maybe especially) a risky one may feel averse to how we're wired, but the payoff can be incredible.
Me (INTJ), currently listening to audiobook of JP's 12 Rules For Life, sees this. Hmm 🤔
I get a thrill from jumping face first into chaos. It's a guilty pleasure of mine to "sort it out." Te/Se feels really good when they work together smoothly.
"whoever just flashed through your mind as they come to example to this point..."
Okay, okay, you convinced me that you know INTJs way of thinking.
He certainly does, though the biggest giveaway that he definitely knows INTJs was the "humans can be useful sometimes" remark at 9:16. ;)
Thank you for this list of advices, it really resembles me my INTJ qualities.
Still, some of Your points seem doubtful to me, presuming I'm an INTJ.
Here are some of my thoughts:
1) The problem of INTJ's social connections lays in their social experience (especially, in early periods of life). People aren't genetically INTJs; so, the INTJ's confrontation and avoidance towards people/society is not like their choice, but rather their evolution through negative social experience.
2) Concerning the point about independence - it's not like INTJ feel the need to be needed (well, sometimes they really do, but it's rather a sentiment, than a global personal strive). Speaking in my terms, if the human is an animal that despised and rejected its animality, then the (ideal - there's nothing ideal) INTJ is a social being that rejected and despised its sociality. So, as humans cannot avoid some animal things like love, hunger, sleep and defecation, but in overall condemn the animal-like behaviour, in the same way an (ideal) INTJ cannot fully avoid contacting the society (like, buying food or cooperating on the work), but that's the thing they (we) would like to avoid, if possible.
3) Another point, that follows from previous two, is how deeply social contacts in the mind of (ideal) INTJ are connected with humiliation. Socializing means inability of INTJ to handle the situation by oneself. As I've told above, it's not fully inavoidable, but, as a negative experience and manifestation of their dependence from the society, it's highly toxic. So, Your offer of being a "useful idiot" for the society, a pad between some social structures for an (ideal) INTJ feels humiliating.
4) Concerning the point about tradition: actually, my first reaction was "WHADDYAMEAN WE DON'T LIKE TRADITIONS" (so triggered :D), but later you explained that your point concerned common beliefs, stereotypes, superstitions; and in this case that's totally true. But, IMHO (maybe, I'm not enough INTJ, who knows), INTJs do love traditions in two ways: 1) that corelates with their strive for authencity - so, on my example, I like folk-music, country, and the only holiday I celebrate is Maslenitsa (ancient Russian Spring holiday), as the last non-Christian non-Soviet non-Western holiday left in our practice; 2) the way that corelates with INTJs' strive to shape the surrounding world in the form they like, understand and count as justified. That is their own little traditions, patterns of doing things; again, on my example, I usually have a huge walk in some park with friends in the end of April, as it is the time, when the world outside cease to be winter, but still not warm enough for crowds in the parks (less people - more oxygen, as we say).
To sum up, I'm not sure whether it is useful (effective) to address INTJs with society-oriented advices. I think it should be more like "how to use the society when necessary" ("how to live without society" would be even better :D). But still, an interesting insight and opinion, thanks once more.
Your explanation seems like an ISTJ. INTJ values authenticity because they respect ideas. The intuitive (Ne and Ni) as general into novelty, not traditions
@@eloffmusk could You, please, explain it in more details? I just don't get the connection between "respect ideas" and "value authencity", as the second is not necessary (and often is not the case) for the first. It's like socialite talks, where people can also discuss and respect ideas, but that is never about authencity. As I get, INTJ is more about not simply respect ideas, but to have a right and possibility to discuss and criticise them openly. But I'm not sure what does it have to do with traditions.
@@eloffmusk this person said a couple of things about the video and you got their personality figured out from that. Thats not the way it works.
Well, well. I certainly understand that everything is a lesson, and hold myself responsible for any screwups. since I was probably not watching carefully enough.
You always got INTJ spot on.
The 2nd one made me chuckle because I even think about what order is the most efficient when I wake up. Like timing when I should eat and how it’s best to take a bath whilst brushing your teeth after I eat and drink coffee, never before to get all the dirt off. And this is a rule in my life now.
Great work on the content💯 🤙🏾👍🏾
Thank you very much. This is great to hear! ~ Nathan
I study cognitive functions and I’m an INFJ, however majority of traits I have is similar to INTJ. Do to both are Ni dom. As for myself, my Ti is high for normal INFJ which is why my love ones see me as a thinker.
My favorite lesson from this video is number 10. When he mention what are ignorant and stupid people’s purpose. I didn’t thought of that. I’ll definitely use that lesson to have better long-term.
Thank you very much. Brilliant advice. 🙏
9. I find love who to be completely spot on in his assessments but I would much rather be isolated in general.
This is a list that I really needed to hear
The most worst thing i feel awkward as INTJ is even though i act normal people think i'm very superficial and always trying to make people feel down and think that i'm perfect
I hear it very often from people day to day
I most emphatically agree with #2 and #5.
the efficiency part, first, foremost and always...even when doing the dishes or laundry.
I've recently learned to say, "It isn't efficient" when I'm questioned about why I don't do something their way. I used to just look at them (thinking, "Because it's stupid") but telling them it's inefficient shuts people up pretty effectively, and they let me get on with it.
I was getting sick of a lot of intj content but this video is actually helpful and notes some of my worst traits. I have barely spoken to another human being in six months and constantly am too judgemental lol. And omg my rage and over bloody indulgence in food my goodness.
Doubling down doesn't show insight into how people are motivated or moved to change their own highly effective modal. Respect.
Funny enough, I'm a chemist turned psychic reader (yes, I'm an INTJ). Most of this, including the service portion, is what I've learned while providing said intuitive service to people. I can't believe how enriched my viewpoints have become simply by helping people. From this comes understanding, tolerance for others' foibles and a weird sense of peace in being useful.
In terms of difficulties, I'd say that the experience over achievement lesson is the hardest to abide by consistently. The need to the thing the right way the first time I do it is pretty strong, so I forget, at times, to just do 'the thing' without building unnecessary stress for myself.
Anyway, this video is presently elegantly, as usual.
Pssst: INTJs are awesome
INFJs are so helpful to INTJs. This is why I married one. Thanks for the informative video.
As an INTJ in my 40s I very much approve this list of personally familiar points that has helped with self realization.
(Though I would exchange "stupid" for "useless" in #10 and "avoid" with "manage" in #11. Stupid exists even if it is an emergent property and anger can be very useful - even facilitate taking the leap)
The one about the food and anger during stress hit way to hard...
Meditation and breathing techniques helped me.
This video gets how INTJs struggles with society and how they think. It's very hard to get this cold whater, but it's necessary for us to have a better life.
As a speculator, naturally connecting patterns is very useful to me. But yes, validating what I see by scrubbing back through price (data) gives me the confidence to trust my findings.
Things that repeat are very easily picked up by intjs and you always have an idea of what might happen by referencing the past.
12. Prioritise experience over achievement -> I call that The Weekend with the SP's.
Damn, you are quite a MBTI, psychology expert! Nice.
One of these days I am actually going to make progress at work - and when that day comes I am sure the world will fall apart; because that is just simply not supposed to happen!
On #6 - They ARE able to be emotionally detached and more objective when directing their attention outward, however their often under-used Fi seems to make introspection and self-reflection difficult for undisciplined INTJs. Whereas INFPs for example are innately good at introspection (usually), INTJs often struggle with this. However they may good at self-evaluation in terms of performance, goal attainment, - but they struggle to account for their own emotions, and so they often struggle to realize or acknowledge where their behavior or motives have been impacted by specific emotions. They also often have a competitive nature, and can become frustrated when others subject them to non-practical social etiquette which they may find unintuitive; since most "criticisms" of an INTJ are going to come in the form of social critiques, they will often respond to these criticisms with frustration and annoyance, because they find these rules both arbitrary and frivolous, which as #3 points out, is exhausting to the INTJ. An INTJ is much more likely to receive criticism well, and appreciate its value, when it comes from a respected source, and when it is in regards to measurable, concrete matters.
Personally, I think my best friend (INTJ ) and I (INFP) balance each other well as confidants, because we're capable of using a common language to help each other dissect our own issues from logical, pragmatic, and emotionally aware perspectives - I help her understand her and others' feelings and address the things she feels but won't consciously acknowledge, while she helps me to consciously accept the things that I know to be true but which conflict with things that I feel (vindication vs guilt, or responsibility vs external locus of control), but although I have seen her develop and engage her Fi more over the years, I have noticed that most of her internal work has been based on her accumulative understanding and self-education in psychology (and theoretical psychology), rather than a developed Fi. Of course I have my limitations as well; my Te rarely wishes to engage in any way to stabilize my life, while hers is employed to great effect. While my self-actualization is hindered by a weak Te and inaction, her self-knowledge is stunted by a weak Fi.
Thank you, I really needed this!