Please help me sir God knows how much I love my husband Been faithful loyal sweet to him. I make his favorite food. When his ready to take shower I get ready his towel clothes to wear. Scrub his back. Put socks on. Sweet. What I have done to him. Why he left me. I'm not perfect I know. But I deserve to know the reason. Why he left me. Why he keep the key for our place. And never blocked me. I'm really sad. Pain. Everything. Please help me give answer. I file a divorce is that good idea. Please help me to get thru this pain.
@RealCoachLee I can't wait anymore to my husband to call me or text me. I'm.having a hardtime to fight over it. Start being lawyer ti get over it. Is that good idea. I haven't call him since April 1 also on his birthday April 3rd. His not going to answer to my call anyway Really painful. I miss him so much. And love him to death. Why he blocked me on his phone. Why he has the key for our place. Please sir give me hope.he left with saying word. No fights. Atleast tell me what's our issue then sort it out. Atleast I know my problem. I will accept it. I keep praying to God. For us heel us.
@@yolandacastaneda4482may god heal you u'll survive try to live like you in 20's , the truth is they might return they man not but we can't force anyone to be with us right . We have to accept it no matter how hard you cry , it's up to us how we handle ik it's hard please maintain the composer , I pray u get better soon
I like what he has to say about the "I need to work on myself" excuse. You are going to work on yourself indefinitely. My ex did this. She told me she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wants to work on herself. When I asked why she can't work on herself while dating me, she couldn't give me an answer. She just constantly gave me excuses without any justification. I tried to fight for her but now, I realize that maybe she wasn't the right one.
"If someone needs space from you, something is wrong." I chalked it up to his introversion and my anxious attachment style, but you reminded me that the right person won't want all this space and my love won't be too much for them. Thank you for your videos. They are a healing balm for my aching heart.
Can I ask where you go to meet new people? Like what are some good options for meeting new potential partners? Because I don't even know where I would start, when I get over this, and am ready again. I hate the social media thing that everyone does now, so much!!
@johnnydi2231 Yes, hopefully you can find your soul mate but not in this kind of social media, I guess there's not much to choose on those sites now days. Definitely there are a better option for you out there...the right time will come because you are a good person and you deserve better. God bless you🙏.
Coach Lee, you are the GOAT!! It's been a year & 9 months of NC after a 22 yr relationship & as I've told you before, you literally saved my life. I still think about him, but he is still with the person he left me for, I've accepted it.
@@ABCD-uq3ol It took me 3 years since the breakup for pain to sort of normalize. I still hurt but less compared to what it initially was. Healing is a slow process. Take your time.
I cried in the car listening to this entire video. Every single point hit me right in the feels. Thank you for making this video coach. I desperately needed to hear this. You just saved me. 🙏🏼
For me it was a 'click' in my mind, that no matter what I do or how much I try, my ex is never going to be the person I could love, or who could make me happy, being incapable of forming true connection, intimacy, trust, etc. I felt deep acceptance, even grace. From this moment I just knew I'm going through the break up, and it won't be a linear line heading up, but it will come and go in waves. I cried, I missed them, but I was also getting better day by day with this acceptance and knowing I'll get over them.
Wow, coach Lee went REAL deep with this one. It's like he is talking directly to our subconscious. I will be forever grateful to this master of psychology, telling us things our soul already knew but couldn't put into words. This is a great comfort and comprehensive enough that even the smart ass people like me can't argue with it.
@@nasser1982 yeah self respect comes first, 90NC wow ur strong. I knew one thing when she left me , I was like she'll regret one day . I was loyal and faithful to her even till now I haven't text any girls but in her case she's been going out, she got like 100plus guys in her contact , that's how the fight happened when I caught her flirting behind my back, all I ask was to remove those guys as it's disrespectful but she remove me instead 😅 yet before it was her begging me to stay with her when I knew about her past , now she left me once I start loving her...promise to get married with me yet her guy friends are more important than me...do you think its true love??😅
@@teresarivera1164 I met her 2 weeks ago , I ask her about the status of the relationship, she is not sure about it , I'll suggest anyone going NC is to try to keep going ahead , if u want to reach out go ahead after 2 to 3 months , but dont expect so much....mine is confused and it's been days now she never mention anything about us , im just living on false hope....at this point. I'm moving on as well
Hey JJ, how’s it going? I understand your pain. I Hope regardless of the outcome, you’re in a better mental state. I’m right at the start so I know I have a lot of pain but I hope there’s brightness at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve survived this before. However, this was years of a beautiful relationship. Both in our early 50’s, with common goals and expecting to be the last one. I accepted him to friend zoning me for over a year after the breakup. I decided to establish NC a month ago. I am not willing to give him my energy nor my time. Pain is chemically based. Redirecting my thoughts. Finally opened to allow a great man that is willing to walk the walk with me ❤🎉
Talking and journaling, was very therapeutic to me, every time I shared at the LORD was healing me.. TALKING, praying and hearing other peoples experiences also really help me as it was with them.. I am in a support group right now. A grief class. Oh it’s just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into a grief class no matter what your pain and loss is. We need to grieve or we will get into addictions, and I do not want that. I hope this is helpful..
It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me. I thought he would come back. It's the worst heart break I've ever been though. But I am so grateful to coach Lee and hate to think where I would be if I didn't have his great advice and wisdom. Thank you coach Lee, I'm so grateful to you. ❤
@@desmondbaxter2449this comment was on my mind all day. Yes, despite it being my birthday and people thinking i am happy about it. But I am not. I am hurt probably beyond point of repair and I don’t know how to move on from this pain, I am basically enduring it in hopes of the pain not changing my core and belief. He betrayed me in the innocence of our love and I feel used, he used my love and innocence for us. And a year ago today, he contacted me on my birthday promising me changes for us and 1-2 weeks later he broke up with me again, he did this three times in total of 7 years relationship. So I am in pieces and trying to just heal from this unimaginable pain and no, I promise you, I didn’t do him any harm. In fact, my clean conscious is all I have left. Coach Lee once said on one of his videos about feeling a shift of motions and momentum once the process of no contact takes place. I am in that momentum but together with my pain. That’s why I was so thankful for this video today of all days. Because today of all days, I feel my pain the most.
Thank you coach Lee, I was dumped 18 days ago after four years and your videos saved me, to be honest I was living with the hope but after 16 days I saw her again and she was dead cold I read her a final letter were I apologize and take my part, she cried but said that in the 16 days she didn't even though once about me, that was the words that were enough for me to realise that It was a waste of time to be affected by her and I deleted all our pictures the same night. This video come in the perfect time for me
@@helenan866 Thanks I hope you can also progress well in your healing journey, all my thougts are with you and everyone else, we are in the same boat but we're gonna make it :D
Thank you Coach Lee. I’m a veteran with PTSD and your videos have helped me tremendously. They might have even saved my life. Thank you for what you do.
The best breakup and relationship coach I ever come across on TH-cam! 👏👏 He is very knowledgeable and insightful and gives all information with integrity unlike other self proclaimed coaches who may mislead people with incorrect information just to gain popularity and money! Listen to coach Lee folks! He is the real deal!
@@RealCoachLee Coach Lee my ex came back after 2 weeks of no contact she was the pursuer initially but I kinda took over and was a step ahead she still seems a little distant what should I do? Could continue dating her make her loose even more interest?
So timely! This video is an answered prayer.. Thank You Coach Lee, your lessons I will carry with me for a lifetime and pass on to my daughters! Tried and true!
I've let go a long time now and I've even forgiven.....and I'm moving on.....coach Lee vids has helped me through the entire process of 7 months and some may say it's not long but it was very long for so much pain and once I let go I realise that it's was a game changer and I focus on me and my growth.... And it's been awesome
Coach Lee thank you so much the point that helps the most is “if you didn’t have history with them and you heard they did this to someone would you want to date them” absofeckinlutely Not!!!
I just got this in my recommendations after watching your premiere, thank you so much. I've been in no contact thinking about this person for too long and I can't say it's the first time. ( with this person or others lol ) I've finally gotten fed up and decided it's time I deserve better than to be wasting my time like that thank you for helping point people in the direction of the better things that they deserve.
Can’t wait to see this one! I believe I need to get over her in my heart in order for me to redeem my dignity, and redeeming my attraction. To her, and to others. I’ll be posted up for this one Lee!
So much painful truth! Ouch. But i love it! Im suffering in no contact but I definitely feel better knowing she is getting zero satisfaction in knowing im thinking about her.
Thank you so much Lee for all you do! Recently went through a break up not even 2 weeks ago and just went no contact after finding your videos and I can already feel the tides changing and he is continuing to reach out and I don’t even open the messages & I’ve gone from feeling pathetic to empowered more everyday I don’t break no contact. Your videos have completely changed my approach around to the right way. ❤
Coach Lee is right about everything he talks about in his videos. I went no contact with my ex and just after 4 days she reached out saying we were making a mistake. In my heart I knew it was too soon and I told her that I wanted time to love myself again before I’d want to get back. So now I’m here, trying to get over something I could’ve had. It sounds crazy but Coach Lee 100% knows what he’s talking about.
I always revisit Coach Lees videos once im feeling much better. One thing you realise is that hes really helping you work on yourself, so you're happier in life regardless of whether they reach out or not, and if they do, you're mentally best placed to make a rational choice
These videos have helped me so much, the break up has been tough but I know that I will get through this. And like Coach Lee said, I’ve been through a break up before and I will get through it again although this one will be harder. And I realized she was the perfect person and neither was I, I made a lot of mistakes that could have been prevented but you just got to learn from those mistakes and be different when you do meet someone new. Thank you Coach Lee, this would have been more difficult without your videos.
Hi Lee! I'm binge watching your videos as I have PBS (post-breakup syndrome). This video hit hard, it's kinda different from the rest. I have some mental illnesses (BPD, bipolar, anxiety.. all the "blessings"). What you said really resonated with me. Thank you for all your amazing support to all of us who are struggling! ❤
Right on man. You should probably make more videos of this nature for those of us who are in this stage of ending the relationship. I bought your emergency marriage kit, but didn’t make it past the second video before it started to really sink in that what she did was unforgivable, and that if she was right for me she wouldn’t have done it. Thank you for the video. Many good points there. Maybe consider making one with a harsher tone like Jocko did for those of us that need a stern talking to. It really does help.
Can't believe I'm going through this again.. But I'm so so grateful for coach Lee. I would be so lost and going about things all wrong if it weren't for this channel
@@bladimiragurcia4720 yep especially at night when it's all quiet and you just wish you could turn the thoughts off.. Sometimes I just fall asleep to Coach Lee's videos 🥲
I value every single word you said to me. His thoughts doesn't doesn't make me cry anymore. I have analyzed my situation and found that I don't deserve this pain. I deserve to be happy. If this person can't do this much he's not the right one for me. But his thoughts come to me, especially when I'm traveling or alone doing nothing. I keep myself as busy as possible and focusing on the betterment of myself. Thanks. Love you❤
Hey coach Lee, I’ve been listening to your videos every time I break up in the past 5 years. I truly appreciate you so much and feel like you’re an old friend who’s always here supporting me whenever my heart breaks
The right Edson appreciates you it's not normal to need space ... thanks for this ! If someone needs space from you something's wrong . The right person isn't going to need space. The right person will not make these excuses. Thank you !
This one was hard to listen to at times but it's exactly what I needed and made me feel seen and understood and hopeful. Thank you. It really felt like you were talking to me.
Greetings from the Czech Republic. I have seen many of your videos, but this one has helped me the most so far. Especially the way you talk about the pain, which is not real and is something like a hallucination. This realization opened my eyes a lot. And yes, your videos are very helpful and please keep up what you are doing. Thank you very much. 🌞
Love this video! He’s told me I’m too needy, I need to give him space like it’s my fault! All I did was love him. I’ve been doing no contact (day 8) after watching this video I don’t even think i want him back? Thanks coach Lee. Your videos are the only thing keeping me going ❤️
I want to feel better. The pain is ruining me physically, but I can't and don't want to let her go. I believe that love will find a way. The question is can you endure and wait long enough.
Coach Lee, thank you for all these absolutely awesome messages, your way better than any counselor or even antidepressants, I am already feeling some relief from my partner who lived with me, I thought she really loved me till she packed behind my back , THAN had some girl pick her up im front of my house with me standing there in complete shock 😢Wow what a blow to me, without your videos im not sure how I would be right now , but I see im walking away from this evil person who has no soul.thank you coach Lee
This was great. Yes more. It’s what I needed to hear bc for the right person, I will not be too much. Space I understand after years of marriage, not when you are trying to establish in the first year of two. I like space and I understand space if I know about it ahead of time or we get to talk about it, not keep the time you want alone a secret. It’s not normal it’s not that I am clingy. Thank you.
Hey coach! Been watching you for awhile now. Thank you! My ex cheated on me and left me for him after we were together 14 years. And now they got married and he has her on meth! But im still going thru hell trying to heal.
It's been 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from her. Nor, have I texted or called her either. She wrote me off like I never existed. I'm sure the drug usage has alot to do with it.
Thank you! So insightful about pain and separation.👍It can also be pain from a separation in your childhood, you perhaps isnt aware of, triggered after a separation as an adult. I have experienced that and it was much easier to handle when I understood the source. ,
Thank you, for this information because I now have the self permission to stop giving the breakup more energy and I believe the facts and I will continue healing now because I know the cause of pain, the brain chemical and that it's not real towards the other person now I can stop beating myself up emotional for the wrong person who I would tell someone else if they hurt that they can heal and move on. I will heal and move on, thank you Coach, I can breath again, thank you Coach!!!!!❤🎉
Thank you so much Coach Lee for all that you do. This video especially has helped me tremendously! I watched video after video from you and others, and this is the only video that was organized in such a way that allowed me to process my feelings logically and didn't leave me itching to start a new video. Much love Coach Lee, God bless you.
Oh, this was an extremely helpful video, I'm seriously considering a consultation but with the current economic situation, it is nearly impossible for me, so I just type on all your videos and pretend you are my therapist & I talk to you too, you just don't hear me, I am going insane.
I am going on 3 1/2 years trying to get over my Narc. Moving out of my condo where there were memories, helped a lot. But far from over him regardless. Almost two weeks ago, I found out he died. Because we had no contact for a few years, and he had moved 6 hrs away, I think that helped me not to fall apart as bad as I would have, had he'd been here and close by. What scares me is I feel like I lost hope because there is no chance for any reconciliation. Not that there was a chance anyway but I hoped just maybe. I feel more dead than he is right now. I may never recover from his death even though I may have recovered enough from him leaving me to be functional. I worry it will hit me hard when I least expect it. I am in denial.
hi coach lee. thank you for making this video for all of us who are struggling. its almost 2 months now of no contact since he decided to end our relationship but i still find myself stuck on him. i have a question though (anyone can share their answers, it would be a big help for me to get some clarity). when you say “no contact” does this mean he should NOT see me online on messenger, and should i unfollow him on instagram and stop viewing his stories? i dont want to be that person to block/unfollow cause he might think i’m bitter or mad at him. or can he still see me online on messenger without talking to each other? is that still considered no contact, coach?
@kheicee I would be interested in coach’s (surely better) take on this than mine… it’s probably best that you do not see his content in the context of not giving him your energy. He should take minimum possible space in your mind. (Especially since you still find yourself stuck on him) If you are CERTAIN that you never want to get back with him, blocking him makes sense. On the other hand, if you want to leave open future communication, just unfollow instead of blocking. But ask yourself the question posed in this video, “If I had no history with this person, and I knew he was going to treat me this way, would I even want to meet him in the 1st place?”
Great content Coach! Please I need some advice, 2.5 years together, 1) I neglected her needs (I was emotionally avoidant). 2) She used a confrontation that we had to break up. I agreed at first. 3) I took partial accountability, told her I wanted to try things again, she didn’t want to. I over-persuaded her by showing up to her house and she just asked me to stop. Should I be using no contact?
Definitely. You lose nothing from going into no contact. Either you get your ex back which is highly likely or you don’t get them back and you get yourself back and better than ever
I repeat, if I’d only had this in my younger years. Ughhh. Would’ve saved me lots of heartaches and definitely some dignity. Yup, they say they want out, good, let them walk out, no need to chase after anyone who doesn’t want to be around you. It’s insulting to one self to be “begging” for someone’s attention.
Thanks coach Lee There are so many other videos available but your videos tackles the best way And in this particular video; different areas which were never touched by anyone are discussed to handle breakup
She said "no calls" and when I started to reflect on that, it means she never really loved me and the pain from that realization is so intense that I feel like crying... I just couldn't let it out :(
@@Niwweleg Well, if you love someone you'd want them to be in touch with you. You'd want to hear from them. We did eventually get on the phone for 4 hours only after she allowed it and she'd act like we're about to marry, but she always does this where after we have our calls she'd just go cold and barely responds to my texts. Yesterday, she sent me a sticker that says "who cares." I told her I was bothered by that but to no avail. So I just stopped. It was all my fault because the same thing happened previous time we talked which was a year ago.
Everyone who is going through a break up should first watch a video about Coach Lee talking about NC. From there, they should watch this. Because if you think about it, both videos are intertwined and give legitimacy to the other. NC will be much easier after watching this. And finally, realize that your ex likely left you for someone else. When it doesn't work out between them, that's when your ex will be back. But knowing what happened, do you want them back? No, you don't. You're better than that. There are 8 billion people on this planet, do you really think that scrub is the one for you?
Man I have a 2 year old with this girl, I did some things wrong and took her for granted but also found out she was fantasizing over other people and wanting me gone the entire time. I don’t deserve that, but I can’t let it go in my mind because I want my family together. If she took all the blame off of me and acknowledged what she did and was willing to work on things we could be great. I know I need to just keep doing as much NC as I can in hopes to maybe one day move on or leave it to the universe but I have to see her constantly and we always have good times together but the few times I’ve tried to broach the subject I’m met with aggression and telling me how much she never wanted me. WTF is wrong with me
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The truest thing here is: "You've made it through before" is key. For those who haven't gone through a breakup before, it does get better.
It definitely does even though it feels like a permanent pain. It is not.
Please help me sir God knows how much I love my husband
Been faithful loyal sweet to him. I make his favorite food. When his ready to take shower I get ready his towel clothes to wear. Scrub his back. Put socks on. Sweet. What I have done to him. Why he left me. I'm not perfect I know. But I deserve to know the reason. Why he left me. Why he keep the key for our place. And never blocked me. I'm really sad. Pain. Everything. Please help me give answer. I file a divorce is that good idea. Please help me to get thru this pain.
@RealCoachLee I can't wait anymore to my husband to call me or text me. I'm.having a hardtime to fight over it. Start being lawyer ti get over it. Is that good idea. I haven't call him since April 1 also on his birthday April 3rd. His not going to answer to my call anyway
Really painful. I miss him so much. And love him to death. Why he blocked me on his phone. Why he has the key for our place. Please sir give me hope.he left with saying word. No fights. Atleast tell me what's our issue then sort it out. Atleast I know my problem. I will accept it. I keep praying to God. For us heel us.
We're married for a long time. 24 years . Help us please
@@yolandacastaneda4482may god heal you u'll survive try to live like you in 20's , the truth is they might return they man not but we can't force anyone to be with us right . We have to accept it no matter how hard you cry , it's up to us how we handle ik it's hard please maintain the composer , I pray u get better soon
I like what he has to say about the "I need to work on myself" excuse. You are going to work on yourself indefinitely. My ex did this. She told me she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wants to work on herself. When I asked why she can't work on herself while dating me, she couldn't give me an answer. She just constantly gave me excuses without any justification. I tried to fight for her but now, I realize that maybe she wasn't the right one.
"If someone needs space from you, something is wrong." I chalked it up to his introversion and my anxious attachment style, but you reminded me that the right person won't want all this space and my love won't be too much for them. Thank you for your videos. They are a healing balm for my aching heart.
It took me time, but then I met the one that was even better sweeter. And now I'm very happy so gentlemen don't give up. There's always someone better
Can I ask where you go to meet new people? Like what are some good options for meeting new potential partners? Because I don't even know where I would start, when I get over this, and am ready again. I hate the social media thing that everyone does now, so much!!
@johnnydi2231 Yes, hopefully you can find your soul mate but not in this kind of social media, I guess there's not much to choose on those sites now days. Definitely there are a better option for you out there...the right time will come because you are a good person and you deserve better. God bless you🙏.
The right person would want to spend as much time as possible.....I really needed to hear that.
Coach Lee, you are the GOAT!! It's been a year & 9 months of NC after a 22 yr relationship & as I've told you before, you literally saved my life. I still think about him, but he is still with the person he left me for, I've accepted it.
I've been listening to you for 8 years now and you're never wrong coach.
Please dont tell me this is gonna be like this for 8 years 😂😂😂😂😂
@@ABCD-uq3ol nah, not everyone who watches these videos is going through the same situation. To prepare for the future is always wise.
Your comment made me laugh
You will get through it abc.
@@jayweaver4394do people not know how to reply to people anymore
@@ABCD-uq3ol It took me 3 years since the breakup for pain to sort of normalize. I still hurt but less compared to what it initially was. Healing is a slow process. Take your time.
My therapy for the last 2 months. Big buddy
I cried in the car listening to this entire video. Every single point hit me right in the feels.
Thank you for making this video coach. I desperately needed to hear this. You just saved me.
🙏🏼
My pleasure. Watch it often. Blessings.
For me it was a 'click' in my mind, that no matter what I do or how much I try, my ex is never going to be the person I could love, or who could make me happy, being incapable of forming true connection, intimacy, trust, etc. I felt deep acceptance, even grace. From this moment I just knew I'm going through the break up, and it won't be a linear line heading up, but it will come and go in waves. I cried, I missed them, but I was also getting better day by day with this acceptance and knowing I'll get over them.
Wow, coach Lee went REAL deep with this one. It's like he is talking directly to our subconscious. I will be forever grateful to this master of psychology, telling us things our soul already knew but couldn't put into words. This is a great comfort and comprehensive enough that even the smart ass people like me can't argue with it.
The worse feeling is forcing myself to unlove someone who's everything to me...i hope we all get through this hard time , its been 47days NC for me
True. But no need to force the unlove. As a dumpee, Forcing self-respect is what made it easy surviving 90+ days of NC. Hope the best for u. 🙏🏼
@@nasser1982 yeah self respect comes first, 90NC wow ur strong. I knew one thing when she left me , I was like she'll regret one day . I was loyal and faithful to her even till now I haven't text any girls but in her case she's been going out, she got like 100plus guys in her contact , that's how the fight happened when I caught her flirting behind my back, all I ask was to remove those guys as it's disrespectful but she remove me instead 😅 yet before it was her begging me to stay with her when I knew about her past , now she left me once I start loving her...promise to get married with me yet her guy friends are more important than me...do you think its true love??😅
How’s it going
@@teresarivera1164 I met her 2 weeks ago , I ask her about the status of the relationship, she is not sure about it , I'll suggest anyone going NC is to try to keep going ahead , if u want to reach out go ahead after 2 to 3 months , but dont expect so much....mine is confused and it's been days now she never mention anything about us , im just living on false hope....at this point. I'm moving on as well
Hey JJ, how’s it going? I understand your pain. I Hope regardless of the outcome, you’re in a better mental state.
I’m right at the start so I know I have a lot of pain but I hope there’s brightness at the end of the tunnel.
I’ve survived this before. However, this was years of a beautiful relationship. Both in our early 50’s, with common goals and expecting to be the last one. I accepted him to friend zoning me for over a year after the breakup.
I decided to establish NC a month ago. I am not willing to give him my energy nor my time.
Pain is chemically based. Redirecting my thoughts. Finally opened to allow a great man that is willing to walk the walk with me ❤🎉
Talking and journaling, was very therapeutic to me, every time I shared at the LORD was healing me.. TALKING, praying and hearing other peoples experiences also really help me as it was with them..
I am in a support group right now. A grief class. Oh it’s just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into a grief class no matter what your pain and loss is. We need to grieve or we will get into addictions, and I do not want that. I hope this is helpful..
It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me. I thought he would come back. It's the worst heart break I've ever been though. But I am so grateful to coach Lee and hate to think where I would be if I didn't have his great advice and wisdom. Thank you coach Lee, I'm so grateful to you. ❤
Thank you for your kind words. Please share this video with anyone who needs it.
Thank you coach lee!
@@danielceron584 good luck to you Daniel, I really you find some one great, heartbreak is so costly!
@@RealCoachLee Thank you coach Lee!
May this be my birthday present.. Thank you.
what if you were the one inflicted the wounds?
@@desmondbaxter2449 I wasn’t. Trust me.
@@desmondbaxter2449this comment was on my mind all day. Yes, despite it being my birthday and people thinking i am happy about it. But I am not. I am hurt probably beyond point of repair and I don’t know how to move on from this pain, I am basically enduring it in hopes of the pain not changing my core and belief. He betrayed me in the innocence of our love and I feel used, he used my love and innocence for us. And a year ago today, he contacted me on my birthday promising me changes for us and 1-2 weeks later he broke up with me again, he did this three times in total of 7 years relationship. So I am in pieces and trying to just heal from this unimaginable pain and no, I promise you, I didn’t do him any harm. In fact, my clean conscious is all I have left.
Coach Lee once said on one of his videos about feeling a shift of motions and momentum once the process of no contact takes place. I am in that momentum but together with my pain. That’s why I was so thankful for this video today of all days. Because today of all days, I feel my pain the most.
Happy Birthday!
@@karenhill2174 🙏 thank you
Thank you coach Lee, I was dumped 18 days ago after four years and your videos saved me, to be honest I was living with the hope but after 16 days I saw her again and she was dead cold I read her a final letter were I apologize and take my part, she cried but said that in the 16 days she didn't even though once about me, that was the words that were enough for me to realise that It was a waste of time to be affected by her and I deleted all our pictures the same night.
This video come in the perfect time for me
Amazing ❤
@@helenan866 Thanks I hope you can also progress well in your healing journey, all my thougts are with you and everyone else, we are in the same boat but we're gonna make it :D
Heartbreaking
Fellas Step Up.
She left you once……Don’t give her the opportunity to leave you twice.
Move on and become Better in every aspect.
Thank you Coach Lee. I’m a veteran with PTSD and your videos have helped me tremendously. They might have even saved my life. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you so much for your service and your generous tip! I'm honored sir.
I think Coach Lee is great. Even if I do not get my ex back; at least, I have a peace of mind that I gained from his teachings. 🙏🏼
The best breakup and relationship coach I ever come across on TH-cam! 👏👏 He is very knowledgeable and insightful and gives all information with integrity unlike other self proclaimed coaches who may mislead people with incorrect information just to gain popularity and money! Listen to coach Lee folks! He is the real deal!
Thank you for your kind words Marilyn!
@@RealCoachLee Coach Lee my ex came back after 2 weeks of no contact she was the pursuer initially but I kinda took over and was a step ahead she still seems a little distant what should I do? Could continue dating her make her loose even more interest?
I thought of him every minute of today and yesterday..
I just cannot forget him ..
Thank you coach Lee
1st day today of going no contact... Thank you for this very nice tips, i will keep repeating them so it can help me heal.
So timely! This video is an answered prayer.. Thank You Coach Lee, your lessons I will carry with me for a lifetime and pass on to my daughters! Tried and true!
I've let go a long time now and I've even forgiven.....and I'm moving on.....coach Lee vids has helped me through the entire process of 7 months and some may say it's not long but it was very long for so much pain and once I let go I realise that it's was a game changer and I focus on me and my growth.... And it's been awesome
Coach Lee thank you so much the point that helps the most is “if you didn’t have history with them and you heard they did this to someone would you want to date them” absofeckinlutely Not!!!
this hit me too ...like a sledge hammer
Thank you, Coach! I was hoping for more videos about moving on. If you could do more, it would be greatly appreciated.
Have you seen this one? If so, it’s a good idea to watch it again. th-cam.com/video/9zxmgER6ddI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=JZotB45PVEgdHhxL
I just got this in my recommendations after watching your premiere, thank you so much. I've been in no contact thinking about this person for too long and I can't say it's the first time. ( with this person or others lol ) I've finally gotten fed up and decided it's time I deserve better than to be wasting my time like that thank you for helping point people in the direction of the better things that they deserve.
Can’t wait to see this one! I believe I need to get over her in my heart in order for me to redeem my dignity, and redeeming my attraction.
To her, and to others.
I’ll be posted up for this one Lee!
So much painful truth! Ouch. But i love it!
Im suffering in no contact but I definitely feel better knowing she is getting zero satisfaction in knowing im thinking about her.
Me Too! 🎉😂
Thank you so much Lee for all you do! Recently went through a break up not even 2 weeks ago and just went no contact after finding your videos and I can already feel the tides changing and he is continuing to reach out and I don’t even open the messages & I’ve gone from feeling pathetic to empowered more everyday I don’t break no contact. Your videos have completely changed my approach around to the right way. ❤
no contact doesn't mean not responding to messages-- but of course that might still be your choice
Coach Lee is right about everything he talks about in his videos. I went no contact with my ex and just after 4 days she reached out saying we were making a mistake. In my heart I knew it was too soon and I told her that I wanted time to love myself again before I’d want to get back. So now I’m here, trying to get over something I could’ve had. It sounds crazy but Coach Lee 100% knows what he’s talking about.
This is exactly what I needed to hear, four months after he ended the relationship without leaving everything on the table. THANK YOU. ❤❤❤❤
I agree totally with you, if he loves you you are the person he wants to be close to you❤
Thank you coach Lee for enforcing my self esteem up
I always revisit Coach Lees videos once im feeling much better. One thing you realise is that hes really helping you work on yourself, so you're happier in life regardless of whether they reach out or not, and if they do, you're mentally best placed to make a rational choice
These videos have helped me so much, the break up has been tough but I know that I will get through this. And like Coach Lee said, I’ve been through a break up before and I will get through it again although this one will be harder. And I realized she was the perfect person and neither was I, I made a lot of mistakes that could have been prevented but you just got to learn from those mistakes and be different when you do meet someone new. Thank you Coach Lee, this would have been more difficult without your videos.
same
Hi Lee! I'm binge watching your videos as I have PBS (post-breakup syndrome). This video hit hard, it's kinda different from the rest. I have some mental illnesses (BPD, bipolar, anxiety.. all the "blessings"). What you said really resonated with me. Thank you for all your amazing support to all of us who are struggling! ❤
Right on man. You should probably make more videos of this nature for those of us who are in this stage of ending the relationship. I bought your emergency marriage kit, but didn’t make it past the second video before it started to really sink in that what she did was unforgivable, and that if she was right for me she wouldn’t have done it. Thank you for the video. Many good points there. Maybe consider making one with a harsher tone like Jocko did for those of us that need a stern talking to. It really does help.
Can't believe I'm going through this again.. But I'm so so grateful for coach Lee. I would be so lost and going about things all wrong if it weren't for this channel
Hard huh, so aggravating lol because you just want them out of your head!!!!
@@bladimiragurcia4720 yep especially at night when it's all quiet and you just wish you could turn the thoughts off.. Sometimes I just fall asleep to Coach Lee's videos 🥲
The pain is not real that’s so powerful
I value every single word you said to me. His thoughts doesn't doesn't make me cry anymore. I have analyzed my situation and found that I don't deserve this pain. I deserve to be happy. If this person can't do this much he's not the right one for me. But his thoughts come to me, especially when I'm traveling or alone doing nothing. I keep myself as busy as possible and focusing on the betterment of myself. Thanks. Love you❤
Hey coach Lee, I’ve been listening to your videos every time I break up in the past 5 years. I truly appreciate you so much and feel like you’re an old friend who’s always here supporting me whenever my heart breaks
The right Edson appreciates you it's not normal to need space ... thanks for this ! If someone needs space from you something's wrong . The right person isn't going to need space. The right person will not make these excuses. Thank you !
Wow, number 4 was a gamechanger. I just learned about her past behavior with her ex. Also her ex is crazy but our experiences match though.
Allow yourself to stop hurting !
I know you’re right about everything, it’s just so hard starting over at 57yrs old.
This one was hard to listen to at times but it's exactly what I needed and made me feel seen and understood and hopeful. Thank you. It really felt like you were talking to me.
Greetings from the Czech Republic. I have seen many of your videos, but this one has helped me the most so far. Especially the way you talk about the pain, which is not real and is something like a hallucination. This realization opened my eyes a lot. And yes, your videos are very helpful and please keep up what you are doing. Thank you very much. 🌞
Love this video! He’s told me I’m too needy, I need to give him space like it’s my fault! All I did was love him. I’ve been doing no contact (day 8) after watching this video I don’t even think i want him back? Thanks coach Lee. Your videos are the only thing keeping me going ❤️
Thank you for the advice coach! Feeling a lot better about it! I know I deserve a lot more.
a powerful video Perhaps your best yet. and that is saying something. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for the kind words John!
I want to feel better. The pain is ruining me physically, but I can't and don't want to let her go. I believe that love will find a way. The question is can you endure and wait long enough.
Thank you. She was not the right person.
this speech is just pure gold.🙏🙏🙏
Coach Lee, thank you for all these absolutely awesome messages, your way better than any counselor or even antidepressants, I am already feeling some relief from my partner who lived with me, I thought she really loved me till she packed behind my back , THAN had some girl pick her up im front of my house with me standing there in complete shock 😢Wow what a blow to me, without your videos im not sure how I would be right now , but I see im walking away from this evil person who has no soul.thank you coach Lee
Coach Lee, this video is SUPERB!! Helped me a lot! What a blessing! I’m grateful for your support. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I appreciate the kind words and am glad it was helpful!
DAMN. Viewpoint #4 got me man
You say, be kind ,someone can be kind up to some limit,but out of limit we can not show kindness.
Please do more videos like this because it helps more people like me to be able to see things clear in a different perspective. Thank you coach Lee😘👍🙏
Correct. A small amount of space vs ALL the space. Something is definitely going on inside of them. For sure.
Best to know they ain't sh** and that you r better than them. THIS IS HOW
This was great. Yes more. It’s what I needed to hear bc for the right person, I will not be too much. Space I understand after years of marriage, not when you are trying to establish in the first year of two. I like space and I understand space if I know about it ahead of time or we get to talk about it, not keep the time you want alone a secret. It’s not normal it’s not that I am clingy. Thank you.
Coach Lee over 3 months NC and this video really helps me even more. Thank you💪.
I need to listen to this at least 10 times in a row.
Hey coach! Been watching you for awhile now. Thank you! My ex cheated on me and left me for him after we were together 14 years. And now they got married and he has her on meth! But im still going thru hell trying to heal.
It's been 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from her. Nor, have I texted or called her either. She wrote me off like I never existed. I'm sure the drug usage has alot to do with it.
Wow, love this video. You make so much sense coach Lee
Thank you so much for this, and all your other material
Thank you! So insightful about pain and separation.👍It can also be pain from a separation in your childhood, you perhaps isnt aware of, triggered after a separation as an adult. I have experienced that and it was much easier to handle when I understood the source.
,
thank you, Coach Lee. I'm still healing from a breakup and this video really spoke to me. Thank you.
Excellently explained! Thank you Coach Lee
This is one of your best Coach Lee. I appreciate you
Thank you for your kind words Dean!
Thank you, for this information because I now have the self permission to stop giving the breakup more energy and I believe the facts and I will continue healing now because I know the cause of pain, the brain chemical and that it's not real towards the other person now I can stop beating myself up emotional for the wrong person who I would tell someone else if they hurt that they can heal and move on. I will heal and move on, thank you Coach, I can breath again, thank you Coach!!!!!❤🎉
Thank you for this very important video. Honestly, what would I have done without you Coach Lee. thank you…
Thank you coach lee. I needed this… I need to get over and move on
I wish you the strength to feel better
I had nothing to hurt. Crushed
That hurt is excruciating!!
Thanks coach Lee I’m definitely going through it.
I’m sorry to hear that. You will feel better. It’s impossible not to as time goes on.
Thank you so much Coach Lee for all that you do. This video especially has helped me tremendously! I watched video after video from you and others, and this is the only video that was organized in such a way that allowed me to process my feelings logically and didn't leave me itching to start a new video. Much love Coach Lee, God bless you.
Oh, this was an extremely helpful video, I'm seriously considering a consultation but with the current economic situation, it is nearly impossible for me, so I just type on all your videos and pretend you are my therapist & I talk to you too, you just don't hear me, I am going insane.
I am going on 3 1/2 years trying to get over my Narc. Moving out of my condo where there were memories, helped a lot. But far from over him regardless. Almost two weeks ago, I found out he died. Because we had no contact for a few years, and he had moved 6 hrs away, I think that helped me not to fall apart as bad as I would have, had he'd been here and close by. What scares me is I feel like I lost hope because there is no chance for any reconciliation. Not that there was a chance anyway but I hoped just maybe. I feel more dead than he is right now. I may never recover from his death even though I may have recovered enough from him leaving me to be functional. I worry it will hit me hard when I least expect it. I am in denial.
Thanks ,this is one of your best videos ,thanks again ❤
This was super good sir. Ty
Thank you, dear coach ❤
You have been stating sensible and true things
Great advice thank you
Great mental help man
everything you say is soooo true and sooo usefull!! thank you coach lee!!
hi coach lee. thank you for making this video for all of us who are struggling. its almost 2 months now of no contact since he decided to end our relationship but i still find myself stuck on him. i have a question though (anyone can share their answers, it would be a big help for me to get some clarity).
when you say “no contact” does this mean he should NOT see me online on messenger, and should i unfollow him on instagram and stop viewing his stories? i dont want to be that person to block/unfollow cause he might think i’m bitter or mad at him.
or can he still see me online on messenger without talking to each other? is that still considered no contact, coach?
@kheicee I would be interested in coach’s (surely better) take on this than mine… it’s probably best that you do not see his content in the context of not giving him your energy. He should take minimum possible space in your mind. (Especially since you still find yourself stuck on him) If you are CERTAIN that you never want to get back with him, blocking him makes sense. On the other hand, if you want to leave open future communication, just unfollow instead of blocking. But ask yourself the question posed in this video, “If I had no history with this person, and I knew he was going to treat me this way, would I even want to meet him in the 1st place?”
Great content Coach! Please I need some advice, 2.5 years together, 1) I neglected her needs (I was emotionally avoidant). 2) She used a confrontation that we had to break up. I agreed at first. 3) I took partial accountability, told her I wanted to try things again, she didn’t want to. I over-persuaded her by showing up to her house and she just asked me to stop. Should I be using no contact?
Definitely. You lose nothing from going into no contact. Either you get your ex back which is highly likely or you don’t get them back and you get yourself back and better than ever
Move on, she's emotionally invested elsewhere!
This will hurt, but the truth is best to be told earlier rather than later!
did you ever apologize for neglecting her needs? You might write one apology letter, saying what you've learned. Then stop contacting her.
I repeat, if I’d only had this in my younger years. Ughhh. Would’ve saved me lots of heartaches and definitely some dignity. Yup, they say they want out, good, let them walk out, no need to chase after anyone who doesn’t want to be around you. It’s insulting to one self to be “begging” for someone’s attention.
Thanks coach Lee
There are so many other videos available but your videos tackles the best way
And in this particular video; different areas which were never touched by anyone are discussed to handle breakup
Just what i needed to hear!! Thank you!!
Needed to see this. Thanks 😢
thank you so much for your videos
you cant imagine how much you help!!
Thanks helped me get good perspective.
She said "no calls" and when I started to reflect on that, it means she never really loved me and the pain from that realization is so intense that I feel like crying... I just couldn't let it out :(
she loved you, otherwise you wouldn't have been here EVER.
@@Niwweleg Well, if you love someone you'd want them to be in touch with you. You'd want to hear from them. We did eventually get on the phone for 4 hours only after she allowed it and she'd act like we're about to marry, but she always does this where after we have our calls she'd just go cold and barely responds to my texts. Yesterday, she sent me a sticker that says "who cares." I told her I was bothered by that but to no avail. So I just stopped. It was all my fault because the same thing happened previous time we talked which was a year ago.
Its difficult for me when I dont have a before situation to compare with, this is a completely new challenge in my life.
This break up is so much more painful then breaking up with my ex husband of 27years.
I love you! Great advice…..
Thank you for your kindness.
Crying. Sobbing. He broke my heart. I allowed it.😢😢😢😢😢 what is wrong with me.😢😢😢
Everyone who is going through a break up should first watch a video about Coach Lee talking about NC. From there, they should watch this. Because if you think about it, both videos are intertwined and give legitimacy to the other. NC will be much easier after watching this. And finally, realize that your ex likely left you for someone else. When it doesn't work out between them, that's when your ex will be back. But knowing what happened, do you want them back? No, you don't. You're better than that. There are 8 billion people on this planet, do you really think that scrub is the one for you?
Man I have a 2 year old with this girl, I did some things wrong and took her for granted but also found out she was fantasizing over other people and wanting me gone the entire time. I don’t deserve that, but I can’t let it go in my mind because I want my family together. If she took all the blame off of me and acknowledged what she did and was willing to work on things we could be great. I know I need to just keep doing as much NC as I can in hopes to maybe one day move on or leave it to the universe but I have to see her constantly and we always have good times together but the few times I’ve tried to broach the subject I’m met with aggression and telling me how much she never wanted me. WTF is wrong with me