Podcast 330: The difference between toxic and healthy boundaries
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
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EPISODE DESCRIPTION: In this podcast I discuss boundaries: what they are, why they are important, how to create healthy boundaries in your life and relationships, and the difference between toxic and healthy boundaries.
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PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS
3:20 Toxic versus healthy boundaries
3:40 What is a healthy boundary?
5:00 Toxic relationships & the brain
8:40 How toxic people can impact our mental & physical health
12:00 What it means to create space around an issue
16:00 Using mind management to build healthy boundaries
I like that she is a believer in Jesus, the Ultimate Physician.
Love your explanation. The difficult part is to catch myself in those situations and apply this mechanism. By the way, what is your secret of having high levels of energy and always being as positive as you are? Would you like to do a podcast episode about it?
Thank you. Growing up in an extremely dysfunctional family and receiving various types of abuse from parents, I didn't learn about healthy boundaries. After 55 years, I am learning how to process the true issue and not just focus on the other person or persons. God has been giving me courage to look at how I (myself, my logic, my feelings) added to the issues through 2 broken marriages. Your explanation reinforces how important it is for me to allow myself space to think and consider if I need to set a healthy boundary or if I am reliving a fear from past memories. It is a daily healing and learning process.
I'd also add that when I'm struggling with thoughts of fear or frustration I pray for the people I am in conflict with and that resets my mind on the person instead of the situation or words spoken.
Thank you! I feel blessed to hear the knowledge you have. God is so awesome
I actually kinda use this kinf approach for a long time when addressing sensitive issues with my husband. I usually send a message, a long one, saying what i think what our problem is, and explaining how it makes me feel. So far it's been very effective to avoid unnecessarily being reactive, that usually derailed us from the real problem.
It gives my husband a time to think clearly, without feeling offended and choosing the right words to solve our problems.
Space does helps a lot.
Love the bangs.
Thanks Dr Caroline! Very helpful! Special the way you explained about putting some boundaries and come back seeing things in a much Loving way ❤
I love your podcasts, I watch them 5 times each ones, i try to apply to my life, it is not so easy but I try to stay positive and learn to have more strength.
You are such a great teacher. Thank you!
wow this was incredible. Thank you so much!
This is so good! The concept that we actually send out photons when we come from a position of love is fascinating!! Also that fear is 4 Hz and love is 500 Hz. I want to learn more about these ideas and how to apply them. Absolutely mind-blowing!!! ❤️
The word toxic has become toxic...
Thank you Dr Caroline Leaf.. You have helped me
Thank you for sharing knowledge
Thank you for sharing this, and I love the visuals.
🌾 From Germany, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom! 🌾
There’s so much good information, thank you for sharing!
So helpful!
So timely and helpful, thanks so much!!!!!
Incredible..this helps
Thank you so much Dr Leaf. It has explained so much. My (Christian) husband of 17 years is alcoholic. I recently left with the kids as I could not take anymore. I feel I don’t know who I am anymore, and I know I have long term toxic issues built in due to his issue and how I reacted all the time.
I will look and see if you have any specific podcasts on alcholism affect on someone. And will be buying your book :) I don’t want to live with the trauma anymore.
Good for you! I hear you are stepping into yourself. All the best to you on this journey. I’m on day 5 and so far so good. ✌️ Hard to do but the alternative of staying stuck forever motivates me to stay the course.
Minute 14: look how much space I've gotten. - Dr. Leaf
From Cape Verde 🌴 Thank you for this helpfull video ♡
So if you understand that you can't fix that person and if you think that person is hurt too then maybe that rocky issue is not going away because you want to think and keep in mind that there must be another person that can actually shed some light on the situation.
Thanks I love the Q & A format
You are Brilliant! 🌾
Unhealthy Boundary Setting: Unfortunately, many people who live in the western first world have been emotionally weakened and have no idea how to appropriately set boundaries that make sense in practice. You CAN"T just do what every you want because you "set a boundary". Imagine robbing a bank and "setting a boundary with the police" to not touch you and leave you alone. Good luck with that. It's an extreme example, but many people DO OFTEN think like this. Many people will violate a social norm or social expectation and expect zero consequences because they "set a boundary". Some of you need a heavy dose of reality and at some point your delusional boundaries will catch up with you in your life.
so excited 😆
Love this, although the word “deflection” threw me as I know it to be super dangerous coping mechanism and way of relating. I’m sure she doesn’t mean the word in this way though
To my previous comment - I would pay any money for a device that would notify me when I'm acting like an id**t. This is the most difficult part - fast detection and realization. If you have any idea what kind of biological metrics could be easily measured by an electronic device and bring it to market, I'm your customer.
You could try meditation. You'll be more aware of what's going on, rather than being on auto pilot
@@husseinfaiz3397 I'm doing Joe Dispenza guided meditation & heart brain coherence every day for about 1h. Still not not perfect but much better then I used to be...
@@vitavacek3483 did you have really rough childhood?
I’ve wanted the same device. I joked that I needed a shock collar. Honestly for me it’s fight or flight, PTSD triggers that I just can’t get to stop even using meditation and a 12 step approach. Getting activated is a life saving human function in the face of real danger. I’ve found behavior journaling to be helpful to track how often and how intense and how long I act like an idiot. I’ll never be perfect, and I’ll always be human with human emotions and physiology, but I can see the behaviors much quicker and turn it around. Sending peace and healing to you!
👏👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️👌👌👌
This is not true! I have an abusive toxic mother ans no matter how much love I pour on her it doesn't work! My brother and I both have done everything possible to show her love and have grace with her but she continues to walk all over us and abuse and take advantage of us. My brother has been depressed by it he lives with her to be a support and she drives him into the ground with her emotional mental abuse.