I feel you, and I also feel like I need to be alone to recharge my social energy. I've been making yt videos talking to a camera hoping it can help but I still can't seem to talk to people other than who I alrdy know
@Mr No. 2 Pencil I hear you :/ well to be honest since I’m horrible at replying the very few that would text me don’t anymore and now I’m kinda wishing I didn’t ignore them. 😔 Slowly learning that I need to start cherishing the people that I’m actually fond of.
@@spiscold50 yeah I’m the same way. Sometimes even after just going to the store I get drained. Talking to a camera is good way to do it though because it takes courage putting yourself out there. It’s weird cause for me, although I don’t always want to talk to people I feel & pick up too much on my surroundings so I sometimes feel like I have to say something just to break the awkward energy~ 😂
I hate working for companies that insist that you socialize with your coworkers all the time including off hours. To me, just going to work and interacting with people when you’re required to is exhausting enough. But to have to give up your own time to continue socializing with them gets to be too much. Companies nowadays are making a big thing of being inclusive and diverse. Well, how about being inclusive and diverse by acknowledging introverts and leaving us the hell alone when we’re off the clock.
I hate when people say that I shouldn't hate people or that I'm mistaken in using the word hate. Oh yeah? When you've been stabbed in the back so often by so called family/friends, the word hate fits perfectly as to how I feel. The majority of people are evil bastards.
Of course. Extroverts try very hard to maintain relationships with others around them as oppose to introverts. But, in the end, they all get burned out as much as introverts if people continuously ignore them.
I don't know whether I am introvert or not. Nowadays, many people, including friends, prove themselves better by mocking others. Jerks people are everywhere. And it becomes less interesting to meet people. I still like to meet people, but I am not motivated to meet ordinary people. I am excited to meet people who is worth enough to meet, not from unknown background. Because I know our conversation will be valuable, not degrading each other.
Exactly how I feel. I too am an introvert and feel drained, violated and used by most people I come in contact with. "Anti-social" is a useless clinical term that presumes that anyone who simply prefers being alone is mentally ill. BS. We just prefer to be by ourselves. No problem with that. Introverts stay strong!
I don't care enough about their mentality to adjust their psychology and I'm delayed, much better writer. I would rather not apply discourse, I know they find discourse enjoyable. I'm not your psychologist for my personal psychology in your mentality and discourse.
I don't like talking to certain types of people. Most of them just love drama and conflicts which I really hate. They love attention and will use me for validation, they will try to take advantage of your kindness.They also love talking about other people.
A lot of people think introverts are cold and stand offish. But I really believe a lot of us introverts are empath's at heart. We're very kind people who are cautious of who we open up too, because the wrong kinds of energy will drain us. And we tend to keep to ourselves so our kindness and love doesn't get taken advantage of.❤️
@@KurosakiLuvar01 same here once my teenage years hit i started becoming more aware. Aware of the wrong in the world, it started getting hard for me to let people in and trust them.
My husband skipped the small talk with me so I married him. Small talk is painful. So tired of people trying to get me out of "my shell". My shell is my charger.
I’m an introvert and i’m so tired of people judging me because i don’t wanna drink or socialize with them. Mostly it’s because they are boring and i hate the small talk. I don’t drink or do drugs i did all that in my teens and i’m way over that faze! I’m fine being home with my boyfriend or seeing family... anytime i open up to people they use it against me or judge me.
Being friends with the wrong people is such a huge waste of time. It's better to just be alone, but it's hard to understand that unless you've already done it.
Yeah, I have encountered that quite a few times before. People lecturing me on how to live my damn life as if it belongs to them 24/7 like I am their slave and surrounded by same self-absorbed and ignorant assholes who at the first meeting ask me this question, "Ohhhhhhh Where you live?" As in they don't even know me that well as a person firsthand. So these people will be shut out from my life permanently.
I think friendships wear out for a variety of factors, such as moving to different country, changing as a person, changing careers and vocation etc. Conflicts arise, when these changes take place while you still feel a duty to associate with these people on account of past associations and loyalties. On top of this, people can be toxic and judgmental, which, after doing a cost v benefit analysis, makes seeing them, suddenly not worth it. Your peace must be protected.
when the lockdown started it didnt really affect me becouse id never go outside anyway. so people were devastated when the city closed down and the partys stoped. but for me nothing changed
Same. Once I let go of the expectation that you kinda had to have a constant social life I was really really happy. Now I’m really stressed because I have to talk and my personal bubble is constantly invaded. I just wanna be at home in the quiet again 😭
I’m 37 and just left a job because two of my co workers were so annoying and they knew I knew they were annoying and couldn’t stand them so they started harassing me. 🤷♀️🙄 Had to deal with this for a long time it’s like I don’t care stop complaint about the same damn co worker and try to fix the problem with her instead of being an asshole I’m not your soap box
My mom is so extroverted that people always come to our house and i have to deal with them because my mom is at the neighborhood chit chatting with her friends . Sometimes i just ignore them and not answering the door , just staying in my room . My parents ask me why im so afraid to talk to people i told them im an introvert they will tell me to not talk nonsense and have more friends . Urghhh cant they just leave me alone and enjoy their life because im enjoying mine .
It's not just the small talk that gets to me. It's also dealing with people's inflated egos and their behavior associated with it. Especially people I work with, who I can't escape from. Work for me is always having to deal with people, not the job.
Yep. I'm 39 and now *finally* have total peace about who I am, fully accepting my introverted-ness without any desire to change that. Agree with you on the rant of small talk! I literally feel like it kills my soul. Energy vampires... 😂
I get zero satisfaction from interacting with anyone other than my husband. I've tried and tried but if I never talked to another human again, it would be my dream come true 😃 I was also in the military for 8 years but it wasn't so bad because I worked with almost all men...and men usually don't care to talk. I actually loved it lol
You're right on the men thing. I find dealing with females to be the worst. I've actually had enough at times that I've yelled at them to just shut up and stop talking to me. All their meaningless chatter is like nails on a chalkboard. Even the nails on the chalkboard thing doesn't aggravate me as much.
I wish but sadly we can't, and sadly people commenting under your comment are newbies we to used to think at some point in our life that good friendship are great but later came to realisation that it's all fucked up I sometimes neglected sometimes even fought with my parents (vocally) if they even said a wrong word about my friend but look at the present time I have my parents (mom) by my side but still they don't me properly, "irony". Friendship is fucked up once u loose contact they never turn back to u some might turn but for a very short time☺️ live long buddy u r not alone 🙏
Eccentric Protagonist I was just about to say this. Friendships are absolutely a waste. Especially if you’re a woman. You get dropped as soon as your friends realize your not a guy they can sleep or another woman they see as competition and literally start ignoring you and shitting on your feelings.
This guy speaks to me!...I dont dislike or hate people, it's just that being around people can be stressful. I get easily irritated and annoyed and feel like I have to cater to people. I cant relax and it almost feels like I have to put on a front and nod my head and smile. Having long conversations with people is draining especially when all they want to do is vent and not hear any input
So this is how my story goes..... I love to connect with people, love to talk to strangers, they enjoy my company...they feel glad to meet me & (the worst part) wanna be connected... Bt i enjoy only the frst meeting, just for once....aftr that i don't even think abt them or nevr want to even see them again....."i enjoyed that very moment, thats itt, i don want to see uh again" I don't want anymore acquaintance 🙅
I once was all about the deep connection part. Now I'm where you are except I don't even care about "meeting," per se. If chat arises between me and another person, it means nothing. It was a casual whim thing and the moment is gone. It does not reach my heart like it used to years ago when I was delusional and believed people felt the exact same way I felt about connectedness.
Same here. The world had me thinking something was wrong with me because I chose not to socialize, get into bullshit, participate in popularity contests, etc. It took for me to go through tough times just to realize all that was meaningless and pointless.
I don't have any friends. So, I only talk to my sister and her child once a month. So, yeah I'm 36 and really don't give a shit what anyone else has to say or do or has done. Take care man.
Yes I’m starting not to care anymore either like I’m trying to focus on my dreams not have friends and a relationship right now it’s horrible I blame social media for this as well too they make you feel like you gotta have a bunch of friends and all of that like I don’t need that kinda attention
It's not that I hate people as a whole. I just never really liked a lot of people most of my life, even when I was a kid. However, as the days go on, my disliking for people has grown. I've had a few friends here and there, but in the end, they turn their back on me when I needed them most. Social media also sucks, especially that stupid TikTok app that the human population is so obsessed with.
Soo truee. I’m a social introvert and an INFJ and I come off as extroverted cause when I NEED TO, I can be really social and outgoing and just own the stage and conversations but that just means I get burnt out extremely fast like EXTREMELY. But because of that side of my personality, people always expect me to turn on my extrovert mode and as an INFJ who derives joy in bringing joy to the lives of others, I force myself to do that and it drains me so much that I turn rude and agitated and snappy. this one time, after draining all my energy, I went home (my family house), grumpy as hell, and I packed food and water and my phone and locked myself inside for two weeks straight. No church, no school, no social media, nothing except sitting and talking with God and myself , watching TH-cam videos, planning stuff and of course asking my brother to get me food. After that two weeks I could finally breath
i feel like this too. i feel like i have to be my best self when im with people. it drains me so bad ! when i do not stop on time and do not get me time, i get bitchy and snappy to everyone ! i find it hard to say no i always go to far.. i have a boyfriend who im with 24/7 its hard to say i need some time for myself
If your locking yourself inside your room for 2 weeks straight and the only thing you do in that time is ask your brother for food then there is something wrong with you. That's not normal and anyone who thinks that is should probably get some help.
@@luffydpirate9518 some times you just gotta do what you gotta do without making excuses for others . who are you to so rightly determine what's the right way for humanity ?
I really dislike talking to people, having to meet new people when starting a new job is so fkn annoying, and just listening to them talk is annoying, like wtf, i feel like people here things when communicating, i hear and see everything, all of the fakeness, its so annoying, i hate when people force me to talk, im not rude but the energy won't be there with me, fuck that...idc to know these people because i value genuine relationships which is very hard to come by and even then sometimes i don't wanna talk all the time, but i will say maybe my mental health has a lot to do with it, but for the most part it's a tiring headache! Im thinking im the only one like this, people think im negative, i think they're fake or they force it, i dont like it
Same even my family doesn't understand, everyone wants to have 2 hour conversations everyday I always wonder if they're tired of talking because it's actually stressful. I check up on them and apart from that please just get to the point really
I have a small business so I’m forced to talk to ppl … I’m ok with it but once I’m home I hate being bothered. I don’t want to go out with ppl or do things I’m not interested just because I’m asked
I’m 100 percent with you! I’m 50 years old and can’t stand talking to people! I have a good paying job in the automotive sector and on the weekends I need by myself time to get my energy back
I think there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, socials masks are a burden, and not being yourself is what should be considered wrong.. yet, most people do it to please others
Bingo! I dont get the hypocrisy of it.I see it in own family.all back bitin/bitchin and then suddenly you see praises and giggles at dinner table and over the phone 🤔 I have been called out for being rude/ holding grudges, difficult etc.But I thought being honest and keepin distance when u dont get along with a person was ok? Live and let live but apparently not.being a hypocrite at work amd in personal life pays off.Yet to learn the ropes of that trick though 🫤🫤
I've always wanted to be alone in my peace, I'm finally here and I actually Love it. I hate when my phone rings because I don't care for small talk EITHER
At least you’re very well spoken, very cohesive and well thought out. I get nervous when people want to talk to me, ESPECIALLY in groups because I can never think of what to say
Direct to the point. I love what you are doing man. What you said resonates with me. I hate when people keep asking me the same shitty questions all the time and just go after superficial things, laugh and joke all the time over meaningless things. I love to analyze things, to have deep and profound conversations. Anyway, I am glad to hear someone expressing the same feeling.
People I know keep saying the same things I've heard for the last four months, I've remained quiet for years, and they always say "you seem quiet today". But when I do talk, nobody listens.
Great video man! I completely relate. I gain so much energy when I have my own time. I also like traveling & being out but enjoy the most when you find the few people you really click with. I love that you break the stereotype of always needing to be on or you're seen as being antisocial. You're reminding everyone to be alive in their own way so that they bring their best to others. Keep up the great work.
Your story sounds eerily like mine. I was very quiet growing up. Started getting out of my shell around high school. Then I joined the US Army and like you said, you can’t be quiet in the Army. Once I hit about 33 years old, I really found I don’t much like people talking and my introverted ways have increased
Weirdly, as an introvert, I love being in large groups.... THAT I DON'T KNOW Such as at a beach. I love to be able to blend in, just another face in the crowd :)
I can't hide in crowds. I stand out, I'm quite ambiguous and people seem to keep staring because they're uncomfortable when they can't put someone in a category. Then they hate what they can't understand and instead of asking. But then their egos
@thumbaround reverse finger me daddy 5000 i agree. I'm an introvert and i hate small talks, but there were many times when it would had been useful if i were an extrovert. Sometimes it makes some situations easier. I'm fine with me being an introvert but i wish i could just handle basic small talk when needed, when I'm in those situations i don't know what to say.
Ive let go of people. Its often not that there is anything wrong with them at all, its just my nature and my need to be alone that is the reason. I cant help that and its better to be honest.
I’m in my 30s now and I have a similar experience as this guy, at first I wondered if I’m becoming a pessimist and cynical , but everytime I try to open back up to people I just cringe because I can’t help but be annoyed by others , especially the loud ones . And with this whole social media and people needing validation from others and being fake , it just makes me cringe so hard , so I have 2 close friends and my 2 brothers and that’s it , it’s all I can handle , anyone else is too much , and I’ll probably never date again either cus u have to peacock for a few months and I just don’t have the energy for that either
As an introverted Englishman from across the pond, I love you! Everything you said I feel exactly the same about. You couldn’t have put it better. It’s so draining having to do the small talk dance with people. I go in to a silent mini coma as I zone out and imagine myself away from the small talk and draining conversations I am thrust in to. I love animals and find myself happier stroking my dogs away from the pitta patter of small talk at social conventions.
Those extroverts you met were sensors, sensors talk about the mundanes of life. Intuitives are much more interesting to talk to, they talk about theories and deep abstract stuffs.
That's not true. This is exactly what i dislike about the mbti hype, people would misinterpret, generalize, and put people into boxes. Human beings are complex. Sensors are definitely capable of talking about the meaning of life, conspiracy theories or even anime and movie theories for hours (I'm married to a sensor, and my siblings are also sensors). And some intuitives, like myself wouldn't talk about all of the 'deep abstract stuffs' you mentioned with anyone outside of my family circle. With your mindset, you would probably misjudge me as sensor if we ever had the chance to talk, even when I always score 80%++ for iNtuition... The test is fun and was meant to understand ourselves better, that's why it's self assessment. But don't let the descriptions of 16 personalities dictate you on how to analyze and judge people. Once again, human beings are complex...
@@angelaa5605 So you don't like theories and abstract stuffs yet you score 80% for intuition? What did you say when they ask whether or not you like theories and think about the meaning of life?
I think one of the main reasons we don't want to talk to people is that most of the time, these conversations are really superficial. And most of the time, it's about themselves, or it doesn't spark any interest in me.
This is exactly how I feel. Being around people is draining for me (I don't mind being around close friends, family or work colleagues) but otherwise talking to people is very draining (especially now as a family member passed and I have to be around people for too long).
Work collegaues - - I WOULD NOT PISS TO OUT A FIRE OUT FOR THEM. Friends - - - Don't have many of those. Discovering that humanity is trash made me fall back from companionship( MOST MEN AND MOST WOMEN lack substance and essentials) FAMILY MEMBERS - - Very selective when it comes to those.
When you get sick of telling people what you have been up to every time you see them so you just automate your reply to "nothing much," and they misjudge that you are super lazy and dry.
Do you ever notice when meeting people or bumping into someone u haven't seen in awhile..they always ask "where do u work"? Very few ask hows are you"?
Exactly and when they do ask, it's words coming out of the their mouth routinely. Most people could truly give a shit about the actual brutal transparency of all the things you're feeling or going through.
Yes ; I detest being asked the ‘socially banal and mindless’ question of what you do, where you work - and if I respectfully excuse myself of answering that, they don’t like it. Why do ‘social norms’ obligate someone to share details don’t want to with a stranger? I understand that sometimes people use it as small talk just to initiate conversation; but extrovertish world centered around mindless chit chat still sees introverts in a negative light.
@@TheRetroWoman80 so true! try tellin them 'oh nothin much.i am planin to jump off of the roof tomorrow mornin' lol.They will ask u all the details and next day half the town would know about it.Its all about gettin the latest gossip.Do they give a damn? Ummm thats a hard one...not.lol.No, they dont give a damn.
I found this video while searching for the term “Why do I hate talking to people” and this has helped me relax and realize that it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I really relate to not wanting to engage in small talk. It’s the deep and thought provoking conversations that I really enjoy.
Seriously, me too! I just saw the part where he was scrolling on reddit and that was me searching "Why do I hate talking to people" 😂 I feel so safe here
Not that I like that people feel this way, but it is nice knowing that there are others who relate and that you nor I are alone in this. Helps me to realize that people like us aren’t just crazy anti-social loners.
I'm 40 in a few months and im in complete solitude. Introvert and loner my whole life. My interest and intellect is beyond average because of the tims i spend alone researching, reading, and meditation etc
Thanks for your honesty. I am coming to terms that I am not a big fan of people but don’t hate others at the same time. I think people like us need to find those who accept who we are and vice versa. You found a good friend who naturally clicked with you and THAT how it should igo!
I’m very introverted and my problem is not with people liking me or socializing, it’s just that most of the time I don’t feel like it and prefer to be by myself or with like 1 or 2 close people that I trust. My social meter runs out quickly and for me I’m growing to except that part of myself, but when I was younger I always felt forced to be something that I’m not. I hate working in customer service or working with people in general because everyone expects you to talk and socialize at work, and I do to a point but then I just get tired of the small talk and the drama. I just don’t care for it. I still do socialize and get to know people and have my moments where I am a little bit more extroverted but overall I’m just would rather be with my family, myself, or close friends.
I really enjoyed your video. I do not like talking to people either. Example: I’m going to an elevator and I see people going towards the same elevator, I will turn around and take the stairs just to avoid the people. It seems that conversation with so many people is pointless and annoys me. I would much rather spend my time alone than out socializing because when I socialize with people it makes me tired. thank you for the video!
I hardly ever go out, but if I do with someone else, I make sure it’s meaningful. And that I have meaningful conversation. I learned that I hated wasting my time. Because I could b fine alone and I realized the only people I want in my life r the ones who make mine better.
Hey, I can relate so much to this. Lets get together and hang out sometime. Wait, no, just the thought of having to manufacture conversation mentally exhausts me. Enjoy your time alone.
Honestly, people are tiresome, disappointing, and assholish creatures that are difficult to trust, especially when you have been disillusioned by people before. I have made the wise and non-naive choice to distance myself from the frivolous.
Couldn't relate more. Silence is my medicine. Words are all just empty to me at this point. Everything that could ever be said has already been said over and over and over. I just had to breakup with my extrovert boyfriend because he couldn't handle much silence when we were together (I adore him still though). I always long to meet someone like me who is happy being silent together forever, with occasional soft communications. To me, energy is the only true language. Thanks for the video :)
There is a time and place for everything. I went through a similar period in my mid-thirties, from chatty social bee to solo artist. Part of my change was simple maturing and aging out of certain social dynamics, like enjoying wild parties, for an example. The other part was anxiety about the future, the golden promise of youth and “the future” turned out to be just talk and life is more complicated. You may not have met the people who will open you up again.
I'm an ambivert but I can so relate to this. People sometimes think I'm extroverted because I save all of my energy for when I know I have to be social. I love my friends but no matter how close I am with a group I frequently feel exhausted after hanging out even if I've had a great time. I cannot understand pure extroverts at all. Like people who feel weird when they're alone or they want their house to always be full of people. Just the thought gives me anxiety. And I hate small talk. If someone tries to small talk me at the grocery store Im like 'I don't recall me checking out my items as an invitation to get to know you, cashier lady'. Idk, I'm very split because on the one hand I've met amazing people who have enriched my life but on the other....I fucking hate people and think most people are jerks who want to hurt me. The only reason I even realized that I was like this was after being in sales for a while and soon every single one on one meeting with someone would give me half an anxiety attack. It was awful.
I hate when someone asks what my plans for the weekend is..... I’m like “idk it’s not the weekend yet”. Also I’m probably gonna stay home and chill, what of it? 😂
I am very picky with who i allow in my life. I got 1 friend. Coworkers...some are okay and cool. Most are energy draining. I type this as I am about to walk into work.
At least you have a job. It’s been very hard for me lately. People don’t take me seriously when I do have a problem:(. How do I not get taken advantage of ? It’s because I’m so quiet I know but not fair.
I can relate to it so much. Through my all school years I was this weird kid with just two friends, but I couldn't stand other people who had so many unnecessary conversations. Now I'm in college and it hits me hard, having no friends yet is depressing. The thought that I could die somewhere in the corner and no one would notice is terrifying xD
As an introvert I wont be constantly talking to you if we are friends. I will probabily demonstrate my love and appreciation being next to you and my physical presence will become more frequent if I can feel that you respect my silences. If I spend time with you, you know I'm confortable in your presence.
Hey man, thank you for this video, it has given me clarification. I was thinking that there is something very wrong with me, by not wanting to mix and mingle with people, or getting uneasy and easily triggered when surrounded or in crouded places. Great work.
Dude, I thought something was wrong with me. This video made me realize that I'm not alone by a long shot. Also an introvert, never liked large crowds, tried to be more social recently, found it exhausting, absolutely despise small talk. I thought I hated people. Now I realize I just hate most social interactions because they tend to feel "safe" & "fake". I also love doing things alone (hiking, restaurants, movies, etc...).
I’m 13 and I often don’t like to interact with others as it makes me freak out internally, I can barely make eye contact for more than a second without feeling dizzy. But I don’t find me being an introvert too bad as it makes me a very observant person. I can notice little things that may turn up in a big situation later in life. I still get yelled at from my parents though, they think that being an extrovert is easy coming to me. Maybe if they didn’t yell at me so often for breathing “too loud” maybe I could be more social willingly, ah :(
I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I actually get really annoyed when people try to talk to me.. I feel much more at peace and relaxed when I'm by myself.
I really identify with this video. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Whenever I go to the gym, a restaurant I frequent for the good food and drinks, and work people are looking in my face to start up their inane chatter. I don't hate people, it's just, like you are saying, those same robotic lists of questions. I can't stand it anymore. Example: When I go to the gym (it's a smallish gym) people are trying to get in my area to start some convo... I'm ready to rock and roll, I'm not trying to have some windy back and forth. I got other stuff to do. Same thing with work! If someone were in danger or they needed to communicate something important, I would help or listen. Otherwise, I want to be left alone. Just as you said, deep meaningful conversations are best, with those who you're invested in. Really glad to hear from someone who is a true introvert. One other thing... We need to promote, when necessary, that "introversion" is NOT tantamount to shyness, arrogance or a superiority complex etc. It's good to be selective of what or whom we spend our time with; it's the most valuable thing we have in life.
Being in your 30's the fact is that in the 21st century, yes...people talk too damned much. Between smart phones,social media & etc. the current society has atrophied intuitiveness and social queuing. There's a joke by a comedian about how 'back in the day' people would 'have entire conversations' with a passing glance or nod, the next best thing to telepathy. Shiny gadgetry has robbed humans of introspective quietude and discretion, where extroverted expression and reaction to everything is expected, why (I think) there is so much anti-social behavior and crime today.
I don't look at being an introvert as a problem , but as a gift . A gift to the few that deserve our time and energy !!! If and when they deserve it 😁😁😁
My biggest problem is ending conversations. I am an introvert so I’m always just smiling and nodding with the occasional, “nice” or “that’s awesome” but people will literally go on for 30min to an hour with me just listening. I’ve gotten so good at seeming interested that people can’t tell that I just want to grab their mouth and tell them it’s time to stop.
yes. In my local coffee shop, there is someone whom I just say hello to and make a few comments, and they suddenly start chatting about their grandkids.
Oh my goodness, you are totally describing how I feel about social gatherings, and being around very talkative people that just babble. I absolutely hate small talk, and the mundane waste of time it is. It's like being tortured. I despise it. I was once a very outgoing and sociable person in my younger years. At 56 years old that stuff has lost it's luster. I'm soooo much happier being by myself these days. I love "Me Time" and "QUIET". You are not alone Mr. Lee. I'm right there with you kid!
Your feelings about talking reminds me of why I don't like spending time in shopping malls. So many things to look at, they all look good and it's WAY too stimulating!!! I only go to a malls if I know what I want and where I can find it!!! Being social and interacting with "friends" can take a LOT of time and energy. I suppose after this video you're going to take a nice LONG nap....LOL.
This video is me in a nutshell! I have come to such a heightened state of awareness that my soul burns from the inside from small talk. Why waste my energy in talking to people who are not on the same energetic field as me. If the conversation is not promoting growth, why waste my precious energy in speaking my ideas, desires for the world the teachings found in everyday interactions with nature, the beauty of architecture and importance of simplicity etc. on ppl who are not really in their body but mostly in their own head preparing for the next word to say or sucked into the abyss of their phones. “Do not cast your pearls before swine” I have come to the realization of this so much so that I have intentionally become a selective mute only using my voice to communicate with those who contribute meaning to my being. For the past month I have been communicating with people outside my circle through texts or email only, written messages, hand gestures and even learned a few phases in sign language to use when I am in a public setting such as “I don’t speak but I can hear/ understand” (fav phase). I stopped answering people’s questions (find them invasive and meaningless and comparative). Writing has been the most empowering method of communication I choose. This is such a liberating experience that I may never go back to speaking to people again unless they seem worthy of a fragment of my energy. Labels to prepare for from society: Not conceited, anti-social, fraudulent, or suffering from mental health issues just practicing intentionality and tired of engaging with energy sucking, negative projecting, limited thinking, dogmatic, repetitive script for dialogue, judgmental, envious at their core, soulless people who lack depth. Refuse to engage or give away harvested energy to NPC’s! Intentionality!
I also hate it! God bless you can buy now a days everything from the internet, im almost 1 year in the same room now, onky the idea to go outside en mix myself with humans makes me almost wamna trow up from the sick feelings it gives me
YES! I'm that person. I enjoy a nurturing oasis and doing things alone. Small talk drives me crazy, and I feel as if I should be physically running away once I encounter it. I love knowledge, so your conversations have to be stimulating emotionally and mentally. From what I've experienced, introverts get no respect because people aren't a 24/7 necessity. If introverts can get pass what others think about them, you made it 🎉🎉🎉🥰
Thank you so much for making this video. I recently started going to therapy and I realized that I am an introvert and that’s okay. I used to think I had social anxiety and that I was a weirdo and not a good person because I didn’t like small talking with people. I was feeling especially bad today my social battery being drained and I really needed to hear this:)
I wish I had friends but at the same time I hate when people text me. Hate being bothered because it disturbs my energy.
yeah I hate texting so much
Same tho.
I feel you, and I also feel like I need to be alone to recharge my social energy. I've been making yt videos talking to a camera hoping it can help but I still can't seem to talk to people other than who I alrdy know
@Mr No. 2 Pencil I hear you :/ well to be honest since I’m horrible at replying the very few that would text me don’t anymore and now I’m kinda wishing I didn’t ignore them. 😔 Slowly learning that I need to start cherishing the people that I’m actually fond of.
@@spiscold50 yeah I’m the same way. Sometimes even after just going to the store I get drained. Talking to a camera is good way to do it though because it takes courage putting yourself out there. It’s weird cause for me, although I don’t always want to talk to people I feel & pick up too much on my surroundings so I sometimes feel like I have to say something just to break the awkward energy~ 😂
I hate working for companies that insist that you socialize with your coworkers all the time including off hours. To me, just going to work and interacting with people when you’re required to is exhausting enough. But to have to give up your own time to continue socializing with them gets to be too much. Companies nowadays are making a big thing of being inclusive and diverse. Well, how about being inclusive and diverse by acknowledging introverts and leaving us the hell alone when we’re off the clock.
YESSSSSS!!!!😭😭😭😭
Omg!!!
Amen!!!!!
For real, I hate companies that do this
Remember extroverts also hate others disrespecting their time and space when they are off work. Inherently, they are all introverts too.
Thank you! I relate so much. It’s exhausting having to be “on” constantly... I can’t even think of stuff to say half the time..
I swear! Instantly annoyed. Whole time they talk you thinking they still not done? Why the details?
@@TheTeereal504 😂so true!! Introverts are more creative and smarter. Extroverts are annoying.
Same here
Finally people here get me lol
SAME, I just like doing my own thing and messing with people that share common personality traits
I’m so much of an introvert I never leave my house unless it’s for food,
I hate people.
I hate when people say that I shouldn't hate people or that I'm mistaken in using the word hate. Oh yeah? When you've been stabbed in the back so often by so called family/friends, the word hate fits perfectly as to how I feel. The majority of people are evil bastards.
I go hiking when my family has a lot of guests, they always sound very loud and distracting, even when they're speaking softly and quietly.
@@nikkim788 I don't hate people I just don't go out of my way to talk to strangers
@@imsentinelprime9279 well WE do and we're Proud!
How do you make money?
I hate people because.. well, they let me down countless times that I couldn't trust anyone anymore.
Yep, not just introverts, but extroverts hate that as well.
Me too!
Of course. Extroverts try very hard to maintain relationships with others around them as oppose to introverts. But, in the end, they all get burned out as much as introverts if people continuously ignore them.
Same
I don't know whether I am introvert or not. Nowadays, many people, including friends, prove themselves better by mocking others. Jerks people are everywhere. And it becomes less interesting to meet people. I still like to meet people, but I am not motivated to meet ordinary people. I am excited to meet people who is worth enough to meet, not from unknown background. Because I know our conversation will be valuable, not degrading each other.
Exactly how I feel. I too am an introvert and feel drained, violated and used by most people I come in contact with. "Anti-social" is a useless clinical term that presumes that anyone who simply prefers being alone is mentally ill. BS. We just prefer to be by ourselves. No problem with that. Introverts stay strong!
I love this post!! Thank you Fernando 👏👏
I I'm exactly like that
I don't care enough about their mentality to adjust their psychology and I'm delayed, much better writer. I would rather not apply discourse, I know they find discourse enjoyable. I'm not your psychologist for my personal psychology in your mentality and discourse.
Stay strong brother. Humans are annoying anyhow :P
I agree.
I don't like talking to certain types of people. Most of them just love drama and conflicts which I really hate. They love attention and will use me for validation, they will try to take advantage of your kindness.They also love talking about other people.
A lot of people think introverts are cold and stand offish. But I really believe a lot of us introverts are empath's at heart. We're very kind people who are cautious of who we open up too, because the wrong kinds of energy will drain us. And we tend to keep to ourselves so our kindness and love doesn't get taken advantage of.❤️
@@Lynn-ip9sh you’re exactly right. I was extroverted as a small child but when I turned 13 I became introverted afff.
@@KurosakiLuvar01 same here once my teenage years hit i started becoming more aware. Aware of the wrong in the world, it started getting hard for me to let people in and trust them.
I hate these kind of people like I really want to wear some kind of fire chain that’ll burn people like that when ever that try to get close to me lol
Well I love talking the truth about people some people call it talking shit.
I agree....being around extroverts is exhausting. Then they label you as too quiet...their unaware perhaps they talk too much.
"I dont hate peopel, I just feel better when they not around me"
My husband skipped the small talk with me so I married him. Small talk is painful. So tired of people trying to get me out of "my shell". My shell is my charger.
How long did u date before marrying him?
That doesn’t even make sense. What y’all had sex only a few times and he proposed? Lol
"My shell is my charger" that is so well said. Thank you for a great 5 word description of what it is to be an introvert.
how to find a girl like you?
I'm going to us that now😂
I’m an introvert and i’m so tired of people judging me because i don’t wanna drink or socialize with them. Mostly it’s because they are boring and i hate the small talk. I don’t drink or do drugs i did all that in my teens and i’m way over that faze! I’m fine being home with my boyfriend or seeing family... anytime i open up to people they use it against me or judge me.
Same here..I got tired of being mocked and judged and compared to others more successful than me. To hell with that!
I don’t like ppl either. I’m just tired of everybody else’s shit that I dealt with from the past..even 2020 was my worst year
Humans are ignorant and draining. Every asshole or bitch has something to gain by abusing you and using you
Lol 😂
Bruh imagine ppl shaming you for not being crazy to take drugs and staying healthy
I'm 23 and I don't like people anymore.
@JAYFLAMIN 313 :)
I wouldnt go that far saying i don't like people.We just choose to have some meaningful conversation.
Neither do I small talk seems exhausting
It doesn't get any better with age. I avoid them as much as possible.
@Urbexx Jeremy ikr. It's so exhausting.
I'm introverted as well. Having a few quality friends is better than having a lot of friends who I barely know.
facts
We don’t really know anyone anyway. Not even our partners.
@@Lotusblume.8 We're all just a simulation running on a higher being's computer on a higher dimension.
id rather have a handful of real friends than a crowd of fake ones
What if you're a introverted and you don't have friends
Being friends with the wrong people is such a huge waste of time. It's better to just be alone, but it's hard to understand that unless you've already done it.
Yeah, I have encountered that quite a few times before. People lecturing me on how to live my damn life as if it belongs to them 24/7 like I am their slave and surrounded by same self-absorbed and ignorant assholes who at the first meeting ask me this question, "Ohhhhhhh Where you live?" As in they don't even know me that well as a person firsthand. So these people will be shut out from my life permanently.
I think friendships wear out for a variety of factors, such as moving to different country, changing as a person, changing careers and vocation etc. Conflicts arise, when these changes take place while you still feel a duty to associate with these people on account of past associations and loyalties. On top of this, people can be toxic and judgmental, which, after doing a cost v benefit analysis, makes seeing them, suddenly not worth it. Your peace must be protected.
I discovered late at 30 that I'm actually introverted because I love what COVID did to everything. So. much. alone time.
when the lockdown started it didnt really affect me becouse id never go outside anyway. so people were devastated when the city closed down and the partys stoped. but for me nothing changed
ha, me too, it was so nice driving on the roads with no other drivers around
Me too tbh
Same. Once I let go of the expectation that you kinda had to have a constant social life I was really really happy. Now I’m really stressed because I have to talk and my personal bubble is constantly invaded. I just wanna be at home in the quiet again 😭
I’m 37 and just left a job because two of my co workers were so annoying and they knew I knew they were annoying and couldn’t stand them so they started harassing me. 🤷♀️🙄 Had to deal with this for a long time it’s like I don’t care stop complaint about the same damn co worker and try to fix the problem with her instead of being an asshole I’m not your soap box
My mom is so extroverted that people always come to our house and i have to deal with them because my mom is at the neighborhood chit chatting with her friends . Sometimes i just ignore them and not answering the door , just staying in my room . My parents ask me why im so afraid to talk to people i told them im an introvert they will tell me to not talk nonsense and have more friends . Urghhh cant they just leave me alone and enjoy their life because im enjoying mine .
Yeah i understand, im sure u get a headache listening them chit chat non stop! It would drive me crazy
I kind of have a similar situation
I can relate this situation. Sometimes they scold me for not being that friendly to people, which makes me think that I'm wrong somehow. Bullshit.
To be alone is simple, make it clear and if they don't respect that show them consequences
@@AspieGamer1986 frkn shut up you are thinking ignorantly
The more I get to know my coworkers & others, the more introverted I become. People suck & it's draining.
"Blah blah blah."
This is all I hear when people small talk.
🤭😂😂😂
at least extroverts enjoy there time by talking nonsense or may be talking to make other people happy
It's not just the small talk that gets to me. It's also dealing with people's inflated egos and their behavior associated with it. Especially people I work with, who I can't escape from. Work for me is always having to deal with people, not the job.
This video is hilariously relatable. Being alone is honestly one of the best experiences in life, as long as you know how to avoid loneliness.
That’s where I’m stuck at. I am alone and loneliness creeps up suddenly
Yep. I'm 39 and now *finally* have total peace about who I am, fully accepting my introverted-ness without any desire to change that. Agree with you on the rant of small talk! I literally feel like it kills my soul. Energy vampires... 😂
I get zero satisfaction from interacting with anyone other than my husband. I've tried and tried but if I never talked to another human again, it would be my dream come true 😃 I was also in the military for 8 years but it wasn't so bad because I worked with almost all men...and men usually don't care to talk. I actually loved it lol
You're right on the men thing. I find dealing with females to be the worst. I've actually had enough at times that I've yelled at them to just shut up and stop talking to me. All their meaningless chatter is like nails on a chalkboard. Even the nails on the chalkboard thing doesn't aggravate me as much.
@@nikkim788 haha SAME! Like ghouls screeching 😫.
I think y’all are just heauxs lol
@@KurosakiLuvar01 did you get cheated on by a military man 😄
Lol I enjoy my Husband, he’s an extrovert.. so he out a lot n I can be alone lol
If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and tell my younger self that friendship is a waste of time.
Thats completely wrong. Bad friendships are a waste of time, good friendships can actually help you live longer biologically
I will tell that Friendship is not waste of time
Friendship is so important. Please set aside time to try and forge some strong connections with like minded people.
I wish but sadly we can't, and sadly people commenting under your comment are newbies we to used to think at some point in our life that good friendship are great but later came to realisation that it's all fucked up I sometimes neglected sometimes even fought with my parents (vocally) if they even said a wrong word about my friend but look at the present time I have my parents (mom) by my side but still they don't me properly, "irony". Friendship is fucked up once u loose contact they never turn back to u some might turn but for a very short time☺️ live long buddy u r not alone 🙏
Eccentric Protagonist I was just about to say this. Friendships are absolutely a waste. Especially if you’re a woman. You get dropped as soon as your friends realize your not a guy they can sleep or another woman they see as competition and literally start ignoring you and shitting on your feelings.
This guy speaks to me!...I dont dislike or hate people, it's just that being around people can be stressful. I get easily irritated and annoyed and feel like I have to cater to people. I cant relax and it almost feels like I have to put on a front and nod my head and smile. Having long conversations with people is draining especially when all they want to do is vent and not hear any input
like dude extroverts disturb us so much, I want them to remin alone and just enjoy also just dont disturb me.... but they continue to disturb me
I hate talking to people I get a high when I'm finally by myself alone reading
Same with me..and that's the problem without the high i couldn't read so much.. we r social creatures that's not healthy.. the stage Im in
Same reading gives me different kind of high
Me toooo
So this is how my story goes.....
I love to connect with people, love to talk to strangers, they enjoy my company...they feel glad to meet me & (the worst part) wanna be connected...
Bt i enjoy only the frst meeting, just for once....aftr that i don't even think abt them or nevr want to even see them again....."i enjoyed that very moment, thats itt, i don want to see uh again"
I don't want anymore acquaintance 🙅
I once was all about the deep connection part. Now I'm where you are except I don't even care about "meeting," per se. If chat arises between me and another person, it means nothing. It was a casual whim thing and the moment is gone. It does not reach my heart like it used to years ago when I was delusional and believed people felt the exact same way I felt about connectedness.
I hate it when people call me instead of texting. I would wait until they drop the call and send them a text and ask "what do you want"...😒
That is sooo relatable to me. 🤞🏾😅
I hate both texting and calling if their to long
I have been doing that...don't force me to answer you..just tell me what you need through text and leave me alone
Bro I do this
It's like " hey Danny you awake" and be like "no I'm asleep" on the text.
Lol same concept I don't do that but similar shit
I used to feel guilty about being introverted too. I got over it. 😂
Same here. The world had me thinking something was wrong with me because I chose not to socialize, get into bullshit, participate in popularity contests, etc. It took for me to go through tough times just to realize all that was meaningless and pointless.
My advice is to be happy with yourself
because you are going to spend most of your
time by yourself and no one can make you
happy but yourself.
no others can make me happy but they have to try alot 😅
I don't have any friends. So, I only talk to my sister and her child once a month. So, yeah I'm 36 and really don't give a shit what anyone else has to say or do or has done. Take care man.
I completely understand this perspective.
Yes I’m starting not to care anymore either like I’m trying to focus on my dreams not have friends and a relationship right now it’s horrible I blame social media for this as well too they make you feel like you gotta have a bunch of friends and all of that like I don’t need that kinda attention
It's not that I hate people as a whole. I just never really liked a lot of people most of my life, even when I was a kid. However, as the days go on, my disliking for people has grown. I've had a few friends here and there, but in the end, they turn their back on me when I needed them most. Social media also sucks, especially that stupid TikTok app that the human population is so obsessed with.
I absolutely despise tick tock! It makes me lose any shred of hope I had in humanity.
Same i HATE Tik tok lol.
Preach 🙌🏼
Soo truee.
I’m a social introvert and an INFJ and I come off as extroverted cause when I NEED TO, I can be really social and outgoing and just own the stage and conversations but that just means I get burnt out extremely fast like EXTREMELY. But because of that side of my personality, people always expect me to turn on my extrovert mode and as an INFJ who derives joy in bringing joy to the lives of others, I force myself to do that and it drains me so much that I turn rude and agitated and snappy.
this one time, after draining all my energy, I went home (my family house), grumpy as hell, and I packed food and water and my phone and locked myself inside for two weeks straight. No church, no school, no social media, nothing except sitting and talking with God and myself , watching TH-cam videos, planning stuff and of course asking my brother to get me food. After that two weeks I could finally breath
i feel like this too. i feel like i have to be my best self when im with people. it drains me so bad ! when i do not stop on time and do not get me time, i get bitchy and snappy to everyone ! i find it hard to say no i always go to far.. i have a boyfriend who im with 24/7 its hard to say i need some time for myself
If your locking yourself inside your room for 2 weeks straight and the only thing you do in that time is ask your brother for food then there is something wrong with you. That's not normal and anyone who thinks that is should probably get some help.
@@luffydpirate9518 she doesnt need "help" she was only resting from expending so much energy. Nothing abnormal about that
@@vvelvettearss everything you just said makes me loose hope in humanity
@@luffydpirate9518 some times you just gotta do what you gotta do without making excuses for others . who are you to so rightly determine what's the right way for humanity ?
I really dislike talking to people, having to meet new people when starting a new job is so fkn annoying, and just listening to them talk is annoying, like wtf, i feel like people here things when communicating, i hear and see everything, all of the fakeness, its so annoying, i hate when people force me to talk, im not rude but the energy won't be there with me, fuck that...idc to know these people because i value genuine relationships which is very hard to come by and even then sometimes i don't wanna talk all the time, but i will say maybe my mental health has a lot to do with it, but for the most part it's a tiring headache! Im thinking im the only one like this, people think im negative, i think they're fake or they force it, i dont like it
Same even my family doesn't understand, everyone wants to have 2 hour conversations everyday I always wonder if they're tired of talking because it's actually stressful. I check up on them and apart from that please just get to the point really
You’re me 😂❤️
Same
I feel the same.
I have a small business so I’m forced to talk to ppl … I’m ok with it but once I’m home I hate being bothered. I don’t want to go out with ppl or do things I’m not interested just because I’m asked
I’m 100 percent with you! I’m 50 years old and can’t stand talking to people! I have a good paying job in the automotive sector and on the weekends I need by myself time to get my energy back
I think there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, socials masks are a burden, and not being yourself is what should be considered wrong.. yet, most people do it to please others
Bingo! I dont get the hypocrisy of it.I see it in own family.all back bitin/bitchin and then suddenly you see praises and giggles at dinner table and over the phone 🤔 I have been called out for being rude/ holding grudges, difficult etc.But I thought being honest and keepin distance when u dont get along with a person was ok? Live and let live but apparently not.being a hypocrite at work amd in personal life pays off.Yet to learn the ropes of that trick though 🫤🫤
I've always wanted to be alone in my peace, I'm finally here and I actually Love it. I hate when my phone rings because I don't care for small talk EITHER
yeah I also dont care about small talks but I just still have to care when with extroverts
At least you’re very well spoken, very cohesive and well thought out. I get nervous when people want to talk to me, ESPECIALLY in groups because I can never think of what to say
Saaaame
i like to be with people.....when we quietly chill and enjoy ourselves in cozy place without shallow conversation.
You are my people!!
Direct to the point. I love what you are doing man. What you said resonates with me. I hate when people keep asking me the same shitty questions all the time and just go after superficial things, laugh and joke all the time over meaningless things. I love to analyze things, to have deep and profound conversations. Anyway, I am glad to hear someone expressing the same feeling.
People I know keep saying the same things I've heard for the last four months, I've remained quiet for years, and they always say "you seem quiet today". But when I do talk, nobody listens.
Same here. You talk and they don't even care, so I've stopped bothering. Too much precious energy wasted on those who don't bother respecting you.
Right???!!! Ugh. It's useless.
@@nikkim788 This!!!
😂
Great video man! I completely relate. I gain so much energy when I have my own time. I also like traveling & being out but enjoy the most when you find the few people you really click with. I love that you break the stereotype of always needing to be on or you're seen as being antisocial. You're reminding everyone to be alive in their own way so that they bring their best to others. Keep up the great work.
I feel the same way. People are draining. I prefer to be alone also. It's healthier for my mind. You're right man.
intead of doing great thigs people just want to waste our precious time, its so wrong thats why I dont like people
Your story sounds eerily like mine. I was very quiet growing up. Started getting out of my shell around high school. Then I joined the US Army and like you said, you can’t be quiet in the Army.
Once I hit about 33 years old, I really found I don’t much like people talking and my introverted ways have increased
All good, we're older and know what we particularly like and don't like... we still have to keep pushing ourselves in whatever way possible
Dealing with people is exhausting.
This video made me feel better about myself 🌞
Weirdly, as an introvert, I love being in large groups....
THAT I DON'T KNOW
Such as at a beach.
I love to be able to blend in, just another face in the crowd :)
Yessssss I only like groups of people I DONT KNOW.
I feel the same (well, pre-Covid I did anyway lol), but being able to blend in in a crowd is something I definitely like, definitely get.
Same. Lol
Yes I'm like being surrounded by a lot of people but you won't find me talking with too many of them or not talking to anyone at all.
I can't hide in crowds. I stand out, I'm quite ambiguous and people seem to keep staring because they're uncomfortable when they can't put someone in a category. Then they hate what they can't understand and instead of asking. But then their egos
Small talk = small mind
@Sybelgian xXx do you know what small talk means?
@@orangerightgold7512 small talk = small mind
facts
@thumbaround reverse finger me daddy 5000 i agree. I'm an introvert and i hate small talks, but there were many times when it would had been useful if i were an extrovert. Sometimes it makes some situations easier.
I'm fine with me being an introvert but i wish i could just handle basic small talk when needed, when I'm in those situations i don't know what to say.
Never doubt your self and your feelings
Ive let go of people. Its often not that there is anything wrong with them at all, its just my nature and my need to be alone that is the reason. I cant help that and its better to be honest.
I dont always press the like button before the video even starts, but when I do, its Forest
Much love bro
I’m in my 30s now and I have a similar experience as this guy, at first I wondered if I’m becoming a pessimist and cynical , but everytime I try to open back up to people I just cringe because I can’t help but be annoyed by others , especially the loud ones . And with this whole social media and people needing validation from others and being fake , it just makes me cringe so hard , so I have 2 close friends and my 2 brothers and that’s it , it’s all I can handle , anyone else is too much , and I’ll probably never date again either cus u have to peacock for a few months and I just don’t have the energy for that either
I'm not introverted but trust me on this guys most people are ignorant a holes nowadays. Best to keep to your own.
As an introverted Englishman from across the pond, I love you! Everything you said I feel exactly the same about. You couldn’t have put it better. It’s so draining having to do the small talk dance with people. I go in to a silent mini coma as I zone out and imagine myself away from the small talk and draining conversations I am thrust in to. I love animals and find myself happier stroking my dogs away from the pitta patter of small talk at social conventions.
“Silent mini coma” this is so accurate, 😂
Those extroverts you met were sensors, sensors talk about the mundanes of life. Intuitives are much more interesting to talk to, they talk about theories and deep abstract stuffs.
So through
I know some intuitive extroverts and they are really passionate when having deep conversations
Sensors mostly talk about what they sense. Intuitive is intriguing, they think outside the box. The only problem is intuitives are very rare.
That's not true. This is exactly what i dislike about the mbti hype, people would misinterpret, generalize, and put people into boxes. Human beings are complex.
Sensors are definitely capable of talking about the meaning of life, conspiracy theories or even anime and movie theories for hours (I'm married to a sensor, and my siblings are also sensors). And some intuitives, like myself wouldn't talk about all of the 'deep abstract stuffs' you mentioned with anyone outside of my family circle. With your mindset, you would probably misjudge me as sensor if we ever had the chance to talk, even when I always score 80%++ for iNtuition...
The test is fun and was meant to understand ourselves better, that's why it's self assessment. But don't let the descriptions of 16 personalities dictate you on how to analyze and judge people. Once again, human beings are complex...
@@angelaa5605 So you don't like theories and abstract stuffs yet you score 80% for intuition? What did you say when they ask whether or not you like theories and think about the meaning of life?
I think one of the main reasons we don't want to talk to people is that most of the time, these conversations are really superficial. And most of the time, it's about themselves, or it doesn't spark any interest in me.
This is so on point, I feel exactly the same
Yes, this is exactly how I feel. All my life I have been told that ‘there is something wrong with me’. But I really feel okay and happy.
33 years old and I can relate. Me and Small Talk do not mix.
This is exactly how I feel. Being around people is draining for me (I don't mind being around close friends, family or work colleagues) but otherwise talking to people is very draining (especially now as a family member passed and I have to be around people for too long).
Work collegaues - - I WOULD NOT PISS TO OUT A FIRE OUT FOR THEM.
Friends - - - Don't have many of those. Discovering that humanity is trash made me fall back from companionship( MOST MEN AND MOST WOMEN lack substance and essentials)
FAMILY MEMBERS - - Very selective when it comes to those.
When you get sick of telling people what you have been up to every time you see them so you just automate your reply to "nothing much," and they misjudge that you are super lazy and dry.
Right. This is it
Yeah, no one actually wants to know how you've been either
Do you ever notice when meeting people or bumping into someone u haven't seen in awhile..they always ask "where do u work"? Very few ask hows are you"?
Yups, and they keep asking about your personal life...fucking hate it!!
Exactly and when they do ask, it's words coming out of the their mouth routinely. Most people could truly give a shit about the actual brutal transparency of all the things you're feeling or going through.
Yes ; I detest being asked the ‘socially banal and mindless’ question of what you do, where you work - and if I respectfully excuse myself of answering that, they don’t like it. Why do ‘social norms’ obligate someone to share details don’t want to with a stranger? I understand that sometimes people use it as small talk just to initiate conversation; but extrovertish world centered around mindless chit chat still sees introverts in a negative light.
@@TheRetroWoman80 so true! try tellin them 'oh nothin much.i am planin to jump off of the roof tomorrow mornin' lol.They will ask u all the details and next day half the town would know about it.Its all about gettin the latest gossip.Do they give a damn? Ummm thats a hard one...not.lol.No, they dont give a damn.
@@sadia2395 🎯
I found this video while searching for the term “Why do I hate talking to people” and this has helped me relax and realize that it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I really relate to not wanting to engage in small talk. It’s the deep and thought provoking conversations that I really enjoy.
Seriously, me too! I just saw the part where he was scrolling on reddit and that was me searching "Why do I hate talking to people" 😂
I feel so safe here
Not that I like that people feel this way, but it is nice knowing that there are others who relate and that you nor I are alone in this. Helps me to realize that people like us aren’t just crazy anti-social loners.
I'm 40 in a few months and im in complete solitude. Introvert and loner my whole life. My interest and intellect is beyond average because of the tims i spend alone researching, reading, and meditation etc
Thanks for your honesty. I am coming to terms that I am not a big fan of people but don’t hate others at the same time. I think people like us need to find those who accept who we are and vice versa. You found a good friend who naturally clicked with you and THAT how it should igo!
I’m very introverted and my problem is not with people liking me or socializing, it’s just that most of the time I don’t feel like it and prefer to be by myself or with like 1 or 2 close people that I trust. My social meter runs out quickly and for me I’m growing to except that part of myself, but when I was younger I always felt forced to be something that I’m not. I hate working in customer service or working with people in general because everyone expects you to talk and socialize at work, and I do to a point but then I just get tired of the small talk and the drama. I just don’t care for it. I still do socialize and get to know people and have my moments where I am a little bit more extroverted but overall I’m just would rather be with my family, myself, or close friends.
I really enjoyed your video. I do not like talking to people either. Example: I’m going to an elevator and I see people going towards the same elevator, I will turn around and take the stairs just to avoid the people. It seems that conversation with so many people is pointless and annoys me. I would much rather spend my time alone than out socializing because when I socialize with people it makes me tired. thank you for the video!
I hardly ever go out, but if I do with someone else, I make sure it’s meaningful. And that I have meaningful conversation. I learned that I hated wasting my time. Because I could b fine alone and I realized the only people I want in my life r the ones who make mine better.
like in what ways some people make your life better?
Hey, I can relate so much to this. Lets get together and hang out sometime. Wait, no, just the thought of having to manufacture conversation mentally exhausts me. Enjoy your time alone.
Honestly, people are tiresome, disappointing, and assholish creatures that are difficult to trust, especially when you have been disillusioned by people before. I have made the wise and non-naive choice to distance myself from the frivolous.
Couldn't relate more. Silence is my medicine. Words are all just empty to me at this point. Everything that could ever be said has already been said over and over and over. I just had to breakup with my extrovert boyfriend because he couldn't handle much silence when we were together (I adore him still though). I always long to meet someone like me who is happy being silent together forever, with occasional soft communications. To me, energy is the only true language. Thanks for the video :)
You’re not crazy. Extroverts drain me. Some are very superficial! Great video!
extroverts are just toooo much dumb, we dont even want to see them around
There is a time and place for everything. I went through a similar period in my mid-thirties, from chatty social bee to solo artist. Part of my change was simple maturing and aging out of certain social dynamics, like enjoying wild parties, for an example. The other part was anxiety about the future, the golden promise of youth and “the future” turned out to be just talk and life is more complicated. You may not have met the people who will open you up again.
I'm an ambivert but I can so relate to this. People sometimes think I'm extroverted because I save all of my energy for when I know I have to be social. I love my friends but no matter how close I am with a group I frequently feel exhausted after hanging out even if I've had a great time. I cannot understand pure extroverts at all. Like people who feel weird when they're alone or they want their house to always be full of people. Just the thought gives me anxiety. And I hate small talk. If someone tries to small talk me at the grocery store Im like 'I don't recall me checking out my items as an invitation to get to know you, cashier lady'. Idk, I'm very split because on the one hand I've met amazing people who have enriched my life but on the other....I fucking hate people and think most people are jerks who want to hurt me. The only reason I even realized that I was like this was after being in sales for a while and soon every single one on one meeting with someone would give me half an anxiety attack. It was awful.
I hate when someone asks what my plans for the weekend is..... I’m like “idk it’s not the weekend yet”. Also I’m probably gonna stay home and chill, what of it? 😂
I am very picky with who i allow in my life. I got 1 friend. Coworkers...some are okay and cool. Most are energy draining. I type this as I am about to walk into work.
At least you have a job. It’s been very hard for me lately. People don’t take me seriously when I do have a problem:(. How do I not get taken advantage of ? It’s because I’m so quiet I know but not fair.
I can relate to it so much. Through my all school years I was this weird kid with just two friends, but I couldn't stand other people who had so many unnecessary conversations. Now I'm in college and it hits me hard, having no friends yet is depressing. The thought that I could die somewhere in the corner and no one would notice is terrifying xD
My gosh first 30 sends of the video already relate to you! I can’t take that small talk forced settings man!
I like talking to myself a lot
As an introvert I wont be constantly talking to you if we are friends. I will probabily demonstrate my love and appreciation being next to you and my physical presence will become more frequent if I can feel that you respect my silences. If I spend time with you, you know I'm confortable in your presence.
Hey man, thank you for this video, it has given me clarification. I was thinking that there is something very wrong with me, by not wanting to mix and mingle with people, or getting uneasy and easily triggered when surrounded or in crouded places. Great work.
I love so many of the conversations that I have with myself.
Thank you soo much for this video and helping me to feel like I'm not alone in how I feel.
rose scarlett we’re all in this together 👊🏼
Dude, I thought something was wrong with me. This video made me realize that I'm not alone by a long shot.
Also an introvert, never liked large crowds, tried to be more social recently, found it exhausting, absolutely despise small talk. I thought I hated people. Now I realize I just hate most social interactions because they tend to feel "safe" & "fake". I also love doing things alone (hiking, restaurants, movies, etc...).
I’m 13 and I often don’t like to interact with others as it makes me freak out internally, I can barely make eye contact for more than a second without feeling dizzy. But I don’t find me being an introvert too bad as it makes me a very observant person. I can notice little things that may turn up in a big situation later in life. I still get yelled at from my parents though, they think that being an extrovert is easy coming to me. Maybe if they didn’t yell at me so often for breathing “too loud” maybe I could be more social willingly, ah :(
I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I actually get really annoyed when people try to talk to me.. I feel much more at peace and relaxed when I'm by myself.
I really identify with this video. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Whenever I go to the gym, a restaurant I frequent for the good food and drinks, and work people are looking in my face to start up their inane chatter. I don't hate people, it's just, like you are saying, those same robotic lists of questions. I can't stand it anymore. Example: When I go to the gym (it's a smallish gym) people are trying to get in my area to start some convo... I'm ready to rock and roll, I'm not trying to have some windy back and forth. I got other stuff to do. Same thing with work! If someone were in danger or they needed to communicate something important, I would help or listen. Otherwise, I want to be left alone. Just as you said, deep meaningful conversations are best, with those who you're invested in.
Really glad to hear from someone who is a true introvert.
One other thing... We need to promote, when necessary, that "introversion" is NOT tantamount to shyness, arrogance or a superiority complex etc. It's good to be selective of what or whom we spend our time with; it's the most valuable thing we have in life.
I'm so surprised that being forced to socially interact with people you don't like or want to talk to isn't a form of harassment
Being in your 30's the fact is that in the 21st century, yes...people talk too damned much. Between smart phones,social media & etc. the current society has atrophied intuitiveness and social queuing. There's a joke by a comedian about how 'back in the day' people would 'have entire conversations' with a passing glance or nod, the next best thing to telepathy. Shiny gadgetry has robbed humans of introspective quietude and discretion, where extroverted expression and reaction to everything is expected, why (I think) there is so much anti-social behavior and crime today.
It really baffles me that I'm stuck on this Earth for ever until I die.. I will have to deal with people
I thought I was the only one who felt this way!
💯🤦🏾♂️
I don't look at being an introvert as a problem , but as a gift . A gift to the few that deserve our time and energy !!!
If and when they deserve it 😁😁😁
My biggest problem is ending conversations. I am an introvert so I’m always just smiling and nodding with the occasional, “nice” or “that’s awesome” but people will literally go on for 30min to an hour with me just listening. I’ve gotten so good at seeming interested that people can’t tell that I just want to grab their mouth and tell them it’s time to stop.
OMG YESS! sometimes my friend is calling me and she talking for so much time, I’m so bored but I don’t want to hurt her :/ I relate you.
yes. In my local coffee shop, there is someone whom I just say hello to and make a few comments, and they suddenly start chatting about their grandkids.
Oh my goodness, you are totally describing how I feel about social gatherings, and being around very talkative people that just babble.
I absolutely hate small talk, and the mundane waste of time it is. It's like being tortured. I despise it. I was once a very outgoing and sociable person in my younger years. At 56 years old that stuff has lost it's luster. I'm soooo much happier being by myself these days. I love "Me Time" and "QUIET". You are not alone Mr. Lee. I'm right there with you kid!
Your feelings about talking reminds me of why I don't like spending time in shopping malls. So many things to look at, they all look good and it's WAY too stimulating!!! I only go to a malls if I know what I want and where I can find it!!! Being social and interacting with "friends" can take a LOT of time and energy. I suppose after this video you're going to take a nice LONG nap....LOL.
This video is me in a nutshell! I have come to such a heightened state of awareness that my soul burns from the inside from small talk. Why waste my energy in talking to people who are not on the same energetic field as me. If the conversation is not promoting growth, why waste my precious energy in speaking my ideas, desires for the world the teachings found in everyday interactions with nature, the beauty of architecture and importance of simplicity etc. on ppl who are not really in their body but mostly in their own head preparing for the next word to say or sucked into the abyss of their phones. “Do not cast your pearls before swine” I have come to the realization of this so much so that I have intentionally become a selective mute only using my voice to communicate with those who contribute meaning to my being. For the past month I have been communicating with people outside my circle through texts or email only, written messages, hand gestures and even learned a few phases in sign language to use when I am in a public setting such as “I don’t speak but I can hear/ understand” (fav phase). I stopped answering people’s questions (find them invasive and meaningless and comparative). Writing has been the most empowering method of communication I choose. This is such a liberating experience that I may never go back to speaking to people again unless they seem worthy of a fragment of my energy. Labels to prepare for from society: Not conceited, anti-social, fraudulent, or suffering from mental health issues just practicing intentionality and tired of engaging with energy sucking, negative projecting, limited thinking, dogmatic, repetitive script for dialogue, judgmental, envious at their core, soulless people who lack depth. Refuse to engage or give away harvested energy to NPC’s! Intentionality!
I am very relatable to your personality that's why I subscribed
Thank you for not sounding pitiful or depressing while still getting your point across.
I AVOID GOING OUT OF MY ROOM AT DAY BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TALKING TO PEOPLE. help me
I’m always out and about and attending events people barely talk to me sometimes
Me too!
Same problem here..I just scoop up in my room all day and night is there something wrong with me
I also hate it! God bless you can buy now a days everything from the internet, im almost 1 year in the same room now, onky the idea to go outside en mix myself with humans makes me almost wamna trow up from the sick feelings it gives me
Same here, but I'm obligated to get outside my room and "talk" to people ;-;
YES! I'm that person. I enjoy a nurturing oasis and doing things alone. Small talk drives me crazy, and I feel as if I should be physically running away once I encounter it. I love knowledge, so your conversations have to be stimulating emotionally and mentally. From what I've experienced, introverts get no respect because people aren't a 24/7 necessity. If introverts can get pass what others think about them, you made it 🎉🎉🎉🥰
I hate talking to people because I've been backstabbed and had my trust broken too many times.
Thank you so much for making this video. I recently started going to therapy and I realized that I am an introvert and that’s okay. I used to think I had social anxiety and that I was a weirdo and not a good person because I didn’t like small talking with people. I was feeling especially bad today my social battery being drained and I really needed to hear this:)
yes me too, im preparing myself mentally, because tomorrow we're gonna have branch together in school . all of our classmates