iam Dutch and in my family the door is always open, when we eat and someone is at the door we invite them and let them eat with us.. we always have enough food for 2 or 3 extra people. at a party people can stay as long as they want and if we are tired and others still have fun they stay and we even have a room and bed for them. not every Dutch person is a planner or on a schedule some of us you can ring the doorbell at any time of the day and they let you in without thinking about it.
I'm Dutch and all the things they say in the video are very relatable. My father-in-law always said to his wife "Come on, honey, let's go to bed because the visitors want to go home" when it was getting late and people overstayed. Another sign that people want you to leave is when they stop refilling your drink. So when they haven't offered you another drink for an hour or so, that is a sign. I think the dinner thing is mostly because when Dutch people cook they cook for a specific amount of people. If we knew you would stay for dinner, we had defrost a couple more steaks, that kinda thing. Another thing Dutch people don't like is coming announced because then they might have nothing in the house to offer you, which makes them feel a bad host. If they only can offer you a cup of coffee and some dry old biscuit, that is slightly embarrassing to them. You brought that upon them by coming announced, you made them look bad, now they are the ones apologizing several times for a situation you created. 😀
When you talk about dutch directnes that guy you like (Maarten van rossum) he is the perfect exemple of that. He is like the grumpie grandfather of dutch tv 😂
It's also just Northern European beer culture, we celebrate or enjoy company with drinking. In not so much drinking cultures in Asia or wine and food cultures in Southern Europe social life revolves around food. For Dutch nuclear families the 6 pm family dinner is very important to speak to the rather independent kids who have stuff to do after dinner. It can't take too long and it's not really that fun for guests or the childeren. The children's friends usually can stay for dinner, when communicated with the parent. But the Dutch tend not make extra food for unexpected guests because that would cause a lot of food thrown away. It's also about efficiency, als with time, when you are organized you can have more friends over more often.
'Het is op' means 'There's nothing left'. 'Opperdepop' being slang for the same. 'Opzouten' (zout=salt) means F off, synonyms are oprotten, opdonderen, opflikkeren, opkrassen
My ex-wife is from Burkina Faso. Whenever we visited any of her relatives, one of the first questions after "how are you?" would be: "doumou ni kè?": "Have you eaten yet?" And the answer was expected to be "no" so they could serve you food. Quite different from my own Dutch culture and indeed quite a refreshing perspective.
I was working in a local café in Amsterdam up to one at night..A couple of tourist came in we had a good conversation..they came for a glass blowers convent. So I invited them out on my boat the next day to see the canals..dropped them of at their convent.. they invited us in..very unique experience..So I invitated them over for a last minute dinner at my place... So yes we are hospitable...when there is room for it..but no please not everyday. Just be clear about what you expect..and when. And yes in Amsterdam we are quit frank. But in more rural areas more people beat around the bush with stuped kind of cues.
It depends on the situation I guess and who the people are who are coming over. Also whether they are there because you invited them or you made an appointment with them to come over vs unannouced visits, especially when they come around dinnertime. It's considered rude to come around dinnertime as we tend to think they come at that specific time expecting to be invited to eat with us and we feel akward because if we had known, there would be more food for everyone and not just for the family to eat ;-)
what we do most likely is ask before they come if their gonna eat dinner with us or not so we know how much food to prepare if they tell us they are not gonna eat with us we dont prepare dinner for them and let them decide if they are gonna leave early to eat at home or wait til we are done eating
To me it's very weird that you'd expect to get dinner when you're invited at 19:00. Most people eat earlier, unless they specifically invited you to dinner, it should be obvious you're invited to visit after dinner. As for the greek people coming over to meet you, it's very sweet that they arranged all that food, etc. but to a Dutch person it's extremely presumptuous to expect to get someone's entire evening without specifically agreeing to that. Getting to know the new neighbours is a talk over coffee kind of thing. It's actually not unusual to get invited for dinner when you're visiting around that time in the south of the country though, but it depends on how well you know each other, and whether they're going to order in. You can't expect someone to have planned on you being there. It's not inhospitable when you don't invite people though. The standard expectation is that everyone eats at their own home, unless specifically agreed upon. We're not sending you away so much as letting you know that the time you were going to go home anyway is soon. To us it's rude to expect to be invited when you there was no mention of it. Dinner is a private moment, and you can't expect to just be included on the fly. If we wanted to invite you for dinner, and we certainly do that, we would've said so AND we'd make sure we have something special prepared.
Already having had dinner at 19:00 is also a very Northern European thing to do, though. Especially in countries near the equator, where the sun stays up longer, people tend to eat later than that. So it can be a cultural shock. Also, as a Dutchie, I would expect to get something to eat if someone invited me over at that time. Or I would at least ask about it. As for the second paragraph: surely you must concede that inviting someone over to stay for dinner when you haven't necessarily counted on them being there is more hospitable than not doing so. I get what you're saying, I was raised the same way, but I've also experienced these other countries' hospitality first-hand, and they simply are more hospitable. They share what they have, even if you're a stranger, and even when they don't have a lot themselves. I'm not saying there's anything malicious or bad about us being this way, though. It's just a cultural difference.
The years after the WII were very hard. Destroyed land low on food/money. It was difficult to get around. So people are efficient on food and this is still the mindset up to today.
I have always invited people to stay for dinner and get enough food out of the freezer so we can make a meal for them. Because the people that come here have made an effort because we live in a small rural village. When we lived in a city more than 22 years ago we invited children to eat with us, but with the restriction to inform their parents first. And people could stay as long as they wanted, but we had a busy life and had to get up in the morning early to go to work. That’s why we invited people only on Friday or Saturday. On other days we had the next morning with commitments we must fulfill. So if they came uninvited we told that to them at the beginning of the evening whilst drinking the coffee. And yes we eat early, but if people drop by we ask if they want dinner and order some quick meal or visit a restaurant together to eat together if they say they didn’t have eaten yet. Nowadays our freezer is usually full with food, but we find it not so polite not be able to offer them fresh food, like salad or meat, so we are embarrassed about that. So it depends entirely on the situation. Living in a small village, people do not come unannounced, there is no public transport so we have to get them from a train station 20 minutes away. Or they come and we simply are not at home and they have waisted their journey. That is different, living rural or in a city. Everyone is welcome but our house is tiny, they can’t stay overnight. We have no guest room. And I know a lot of people go to bed very early, because in winter it’s cold here and fuel is expensive. And we are now over 70 years old. Need our rest time more😉🙃😜😉😁😁😁
Their is a Dutch saying: Visitors and fish stays well for 3 days after that the will smell. Meaning overnight visitors are welcome for 3 days buth they have to leave.
If someone were to knock on my door and ask for food I would give them a meal and make sure they can spend the night somewhere safe and dry. I live alone, so they're not staying the night, but I won't want them on the street and definitely not now that it's cold outside. I also always ask what my guests want before they come over, and that's pretty common in my experience, because I'm not in the habit of having anything in my house other than tea or coffee for drinks and ingredients for meals. My parents have milk in their coffee and if I don't expect them again within a month I'll give them the milk as it will just spoil in my home. Giving a piece of something you baked when your guests leave is also something everyone does in my experience. No one will leave you out in the cold and if they expect you, you will get what you wanted and maybe more, but if you don't ask you probably won't get anything.
To be fair, I don’t always like the hospitality of other cultures. I have a moroccan friend and she always has food stalled out for me when I visit. Whether it’s morning or afternoon or evening. I don’t always want to eat, right now I’m on a diet and counting calories. I can’t just eat something extra. I can but I don’t want to, I had meals planned, now my whole eating schedule is fked up. I tell her to please don’t make me food, but she still does it. Also with drinks. I have a bladder problem. Ofcourse I’ll drink tea with her, but please don’t keep filling up my cup. I get the hospitality, but sometimes it’s annoying.
Your friend sounds very inhospitable with the intention of being hospitable. I'm used to people asking what I want beforehand and getting that and they may have something extra just in case that they can pull out.
Just yesterday we had a birthday party. The invite was very clear: it starts at 14:00and ends at 17:00😂 Also, I’m always up for people visiting me, but sometimes my house is a mess and I don’t have drinks in my fridge or something to snack on. If you’re at my door unannounced I’ll feel like a bad host cause I can’t offer you anything apart from water, coffee or tea and my house looks like a complete mess so I also feel bad about that. Just shoot me a message first so I can run to the supermarket for drinks and vacuum the house and get rid of the mess real fast, ofcourse you’re welcome after that.
5:34 It is not as strict as they say. If you are with family or close friends for a birthday party e.g. it is not uncommon to decide to eat together. It has to be somewhat predictable, and there has to be a close relationship. In all other contexts, "we are going to eat" does indeed mean "please leave my house, NOW."
it's very strange she didn't want to become Dutch because there was a language test.... which (a) she could've easily passed, and (b) is a requirement in _every_ country. It's not up to the person behind the reception desk to just say your Dutch is good enough. Becoming a citizen is a very official thing; obviously you're going to have to go through the official channels, even if they are clearly easy for you to meet. If a Dutch person wanted to become Danish they'd have to do the exact same thing, even if they were already fluent in Danish. It's rather arrogant to expect the standard, that you just inquired about, shouldn't apply to you, because you can't be arsed to do the formality.
Maybe in the 50s, but nowadays I don’t think so. In the 50s the families were quite large and money was tight. In my family little friends could eat with us, but usually they were told to go home by their mother.
Meals are a family affair. We will not eat until the family is complete. So kids have to go home in time to join their family in their meal. It is very inappropriate not to show up at home, and eat somewhere else without giving notice. Visiting others happens in between meals. Coffee visit in the morning, tea visit in the afternoon, and coffee with another drink in the evening.
I'm Dutch and I don't see or feel it as black and white as they tell you here. Friends could always stay over to eat and i'm socialy not strong and people can stay over for dinner here. I only want to know how late i you arrive bc of the foodshop i have to do en what you like to eat. With the younger generations it is more relaxt.
All depends on the cultural-political tendency some-one is leaning towards. (Being p.c. means being "critical" on your own folk. Being less of a leftist, things and vieuws become quite different) Sorry, but that's true....
"We can be hospitable but let's organize it" Well said.
In all fairness it also has to do with the fact that diner is family time. The time of the day to talk through your day etc.
yea thats true.!
iam Dutch and in my family the door is always open, when we eat and someone is at the door we invite them and let them eat with us.. we always have enough food for 2 or 3 extra people. at a party people can stay as long as they want and if we are tired and others still have fun they stay and we even have a room and bed for them. not every Dutch person is a planner or on a schedule some of us you can ring the doorbell at any time of the day and they let you in without thinking about it.
I'm Dutch and all the things they say in the video are very relatable. My father-in-law always said to his wife "Come on, honey, let's go to bed because the visitors want to go home" when it was getting late and people overstayed.
Another sign that people want you to leave is when they stop refilling your drink. So when they haven't offered you another drink for an hour or so, that is a sign.
I think the dinner thing is mostly because when Dutch people cook they cook for a specific amount of people. If we knew you would stay for dinner, we had defrost a couple more steaks, that kinda thing.
Another thing Dutch people don't like is coming announced because then they might have nothing in the house to offer you, which makes them feel a bad host. If they only can offer you a cup of coffee and some dry old biscuit, that is slightly embarrassing to them. You brought that upon them by coming announced, you made them look bad, now they are the ones apologizing several times for a situation you created. 😀
My parents have a tile that says "Kom, vrouw, we gaan naar bed, de mensen willen naar huis.". Which translates to what your father-in-law always said.
Think you mean unannounced as in they didn't know you were coming ;-)
You should watch some Maarten van Rossem!
When you talk about dutch directnes that guy you like (Maarten van rossum) he is the perfect exemple of that. He is like the grumpie grandfather of dutch tv 😂
With a great sence of humor. I just love his grumpy way of telling it the way it is. Wish he would keep on doing 'De slimse mens'.
@BetsyEimers ja klopt. Jammer dat ze ermee stoppen.
It's also just Northern European beer culture, we celebrate or enjoy company with drinking. In not so much drinking cultures in Asia or wine and food cultures in Southern Europe social life revolves around food. For Dutch nuclear families the 6 pm family dinner is very important to speak to the rather independent kids who have stuff to do after dinner. It can't take too long and it's not really that fun for guests or the childeren.
The children's friends usually can stay for dinner, when communicated with the parent. But the Dutch tend not make extra food for unexpected guests because that would cause a lot of food thrown away. It's also about efficiency, als with time, when you are organized you can have more friends over more often.
'Het is op' means 'There's nothing left'. 'Opperdepop' being slang for the same.
'Opzouten' (zout=salt) means F off, synonyms are oprotten, opdonderen, opflikkeren, opkrassen
My ex-wife is from Burkina Faso. Whenever we visited any of her relatives, one of the first questions after "how are you?" would be: "doumou ni kè?": "Have you eaten yet?" And the answer was expected to be "no" so they could serve you food. Quite different from my own Dutch culture and indeed quite a refreshing perspective.
I was working in a local café in Amsterdam up to one at night..A couple of tourist came in we had a good conversation..they came for a glass blowers convent. So I invited them out on my boat the next day to see the canals..dropped them of at their convent.. they invited us in..very unique experience..So I invitated them over for a last minute dinner at my place... So yes we are hospitable...when there is room for it..but no please not everyday. Just be clear about what you expect..and when. And yes in Amsterdam we are quit frank. But in more rural areas more people beat around the bush with stuped kind of cues.
It depends on the situation I guess and who the people are who are coming over. Also whether they are there because you invited them or you made an appointment with them to come over vs unannouced visits, especially when they come around dinnertime. It's considered rude to come around dinnertime as we tend to think they come at that specific time expecting to be invited to eat with us and we feel akward because if we had known, there would be more food for everyone and not just for the family to eat ;-)
what we do most likely is ask before they come if their gonna eat dinner with us or not so we know how much food to prepare if they tell us they are not gonna eat with us we dont prepare dinner for them and let them decide if they are gonna leave early to eat at home or wait til we are done eating
To me it's very weird that you'd expect to get dinner when you're invited at 19:00. Most people eat earlier, unless they specifically invited you to dinner, it should be obvious you're invited to visit after dinner.
As for the greek people coming over to meet you, it's very sweet that they arranged all that food, etc. but to a Dutch person it's extremely presumptuous to expect to get someone's entire evening without specifically agreeing to that. Getting to know the new neighbours is a talk over coffee kind of thing.
It's actually not unusual to get invited for dinner when you're visiting around that time in the south of the country though, but it depends on how well you know each other, and whether they're going to order in. You can't expect someone to have planned on you being there. It's not inhospitable when you don't invite people though. The standard expectation is that everyone eats at their own home, unless specifically agreed upon. We're not sending you away so much as letting you know that the time you were going to go home anyway is soon. To us it's rude to expect to be invited when you there was no mention of it. Dinner is a private moment, and you can't expect to just be included on the fly. If we wanted to invite you for dinner, and we certainly do that, we would've said so AND we'd make sure we have something special prepared.
Already having had dinner at 19:00 is also a very Northern European thing to do, though. Especially in countries near the equator, where the sun stays up longer, people tend to eat later than that. So it can be a cultural shock. Also, as a Dutchie, I would expect to get something to eat if someone invited me over at that time. Or I would at least ask about it.
As for the second paragraph: surely you must concede that inviting someone over to stay for dinner when you haven't necessarily counted on them being there is more hospitable than not doing so. I get what you're saying, I was raised the same way, but I've also experienced these other countries' hospitality first-hand, and they simply are more hospitable. They share what they have, even if you're a stranger, and even when they don't have a lot themselves.
I'm not saying there's anything malicious or bad about us being this way, though. It's just a cultural difference.
In the netherlands, that is true. But in Spain the restaurants start serving dinner at 7 PM.
The years after the WII were very hard. Destroyed land low on food/money. It was difficult to get around. So people are efficient on food and this is still the mindset up to today.
I have always invited people to stay for dinner and get enough food out of the freezer so we can make a meal for them. Because the people that come here have made an effort because we live in a small rural village. When we lived in a city more than 22 years ago we invited children to eat with us, but with the restriction to inform their parents first. And people could stay as long as they wanted, but we had a busy life and had to get up in the morning early to go to work. That’s why we invited people only on Friday or Saturday. On other days we had the next morning with commitments we must fulfill. So if they came uninvited we told that to them at the beginning of the evening whilst drinking the coffee. And yes we eat early, but if people drop by we ask if they want dinner and order some quick meal or visit a restaurant together to eat together if they say they didn’t have eaten yet. Nowadays our freezer is usually full with food, but we find it not so polite not be able to offer them fresh food, like salad or meat, so we are embarrassed about that. So it depends entirely on the situation. Living in a small village, people do not come unannounced, there is no public transport so we have to get them from a train station 20 minutes away. Or they come and we simply are not at home and they have waisted their journey. That is different, living rural or in a city. Everyone is welcome but our house is tiny, they can’t stay overnight. We have no guest room. And I know a lot of people go to bed very early, because in winter it’s cold here and fuel is expensive. And we are now over 70 years old. Need our rest time more😉🙃😜😉😁😁😁
Their is a Dutch saying: Visitors and fish stays well for 3 days after that the will smell. Meaning overnight visitors are welcome for 3 days buth they have to leave.
When It's about food we are not hospitabule if you not make an appointment befor!
If someone were to knock on my door and ask for food I would give them a meal and make sure they can spend the night somewhere safe and dry. I live alone, so they're not staying the night, but I won't want them on the street and definitely not now that it's cold outside.
I also always ask what my guests want before they come over, and that's pretty common in my experience, because I'm not in the habit of having anything in my house other than tea or coffee for drinks and ingredients for meals. My parents have milk in their coffee and if I don't expect them again within a month I'll give them the milk as it will just spoil in my home. Giving a piece of something you baked when your guests leave is also something everyone does in my experience.
No one will leave you out in the cold and if they expect you, you will get what you wanted and maybe more, but if you don't ask you probably won't get anything.
To be fair, I don’t always like the hospitality of other cultures. I have a moroccan friend and she always has food stalled out for me when I visit. Whether it’s morning or afternoon or evening. I don’t always want to eat, right now I’m on a diet and counting calories. I can’t just eat something extra. I can but I don’t want to, I had meals planned, now my whole eating schedule is fked up. I tell her to please don’t make me food, but she still does it. Also with drinks. I have a bladder problem. Ofcourse I’ll drink tea with her, but please don’t keep filling up my cup. I get the hospitality, but sometimes it’s annoying.
Your friend sounds very inhospitable with the intention of being hospitable. I'm used to people asking what I want beforehand and getting that and they may have something extra just in case that they can pull out.
4:46.. you should watch more of this Maarten Van Rossem guy...
he's a geniuos and funny at the same time, and he always speaks the truth.!.
Lol doe normaal man die man is ziek in zijn hoofd niks grappig aan
Just yesterday we had a birthday party. The invite was very clear: it starts at 14:00and ends at 17:00😂
Also, I’m always up for people visiting me, but sometimes my house is a mess and I don’t have drinks in my fridge or something to snack on.
If you’re at my door unannounced I’ll feel like a bad host cause I can’t offer you anything apart from water, coffee or tea and my house looks like a complete mess so I also feel bad about that. Just shoot me a message first so I can run to the supermarket for drinks and vacuum the house and get rid of the mess real fast, ofcourse you’re welcome after that.
5:34 It is not as strict as they say.
If you are with family or close friends for a birthday party e.g. it is not uncommon to decide to eat together.
It has to be somewhat predictable, and there has to be a close relationship.
In all other contexts, "we are going to eat" does indeed mean "please leave my house, NOW."
I thought that Danish woman was dutch. She speaks it fluently ...
She spoke Dutch better than me even though I’m Dutch
Haha!@@Deniour
it's very strange she didn't want to become Dutch because there was a language test.... which (a) she could've easily passed, and (b) is a requirement in _every_ country.
It's not up to the person behind the reception desk to just say your Dutch is good enough. Becoming a citizen is a very official thing; obviously you're going to have to go through the official channels, even if they are clearly easy for you to meet. If a Dutch person wanted to become Danish they'd have to do the exact same thing, even if they were already fluent in Danish. It's rather arrogant to expect the standard, that you just inquired about, shouldn't apply to you, because you can't be arsed to do the formality.
I originally thought she was from the East of the Netherlands, Groningen, Twente or thereabout.
You prepare a meal for four people. There wouldn’t be much for a an extra guest.
Maybe in the 50s, but nowadays I don’t think so. In the 50s the families were quite large and money was tight. In my family little friends could eat with us, but usually they were told to go home by their mother.
Meals are a family affair. We will not eat until the family is complete. So kids have to go home in time to join their family in their meal. It is very inappropriate not to show up at home, and eat somewhere else without giving notice.
Visiting others happens in between meals. Coffee visit in the morning, tea visit in the afternoon, and coffee with another drink in the evening.
I think it depends on the person and how well we know you. A neighbour coming for diner? Sure. A random person we just met? No.
Reaction video to a reaction video about reactions 😋
I'm Dutch and I don't see or feel it as black and white as they tell you here. Friends could always stay over to eat and i'm socialy not strong and people can stay over for dinner here. I only want to know how late i you arrive bc of the foodshop i have to do en what you like to eat. With the younger generations it is more relaxt.
I sometimes think of the Dutch as Europe’s Japanese.
Tomorrow morning I need to get up at 6 am for work. What time do you need to get up?
All depends on the cultural-political tendency some-one is leaning towards.
(Being p.c. means
being "critical" on your own folk.
Being less of a leftist, things and vieuws become quite different)
Sorry, but that's true....
😂
I think thad you mentalety fits whit the Nederlandse way of thinking you whil fit in thust fine