ALMONDS ARE INCREDIBLY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!! DON’T BUY ALMONDS! They use a ridiculous amount of water to grow (about a gallon of water to grow ONE almond) and in California huge almond farms divert water from rivers killing fish and natural life there. Almonds are also a huge contributing factor in bees going extinct, killing billions of bees per year. Bees are brought in to pollinate almond farms, die from pesticides and then they bring MORE BEES to die too! Replace almond milk with oat milk and for God’s sake DON’T BUY ALMONDS!!
13:33 I actually interpreted the almond effects as more of a stackable thing. By the time you’ve eaten 6 almonds, you would have gained all the powers of the previous almonds PLUS a weight loss buff AND effects similar to a singular aspirin pill. Once you’ve eaten your six almonds per day, you would age backward, have a boost in energy and concentration, have substantial weight loss, have healthy skin, and be immune to both heart disease and all forms of cancer. That’s just six almonds, and those are just the effects you’ve shown in this video. I’ll check out the account to see if there’s more, because I’m now VERY interested in what they think the other effects of eating almonds are.
"what'd you eat today? oh yknow, the usual, raisin water for breakfast, an apple, thirty almonds, a lemon, a glass of milk, four dates, and I prayed to god
I know Danny will never see this and it's pretty silly but I wanna comment it anyway- About 6 months ago My pops passed away from cancer and the only thing that's made me feel at least a little better about the whole thing is this video. When he was diagnosed I was devistated but I kept saying to myself "5 almond daily no cancer" to cheer myself up.. this video got me through a lot, it gave me one laugher (only one, no more is allowed) to stop being so upset, and I know it's what he would of wanted. To not be upset about it, but to laugh instead.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Danny really is a legend. He might just make shit up as he goes, but it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. Having said that, I hope you have an amazing week! :)
it's been two years and i still haven't made it to the end of the video because i use up my one (1) laughter on "why's my wife such a bitch" every time
Extra healthy, how do healthy extra? This is do how indeed; Step 1: hibfhukbchiubdewiuyviguavgyvajhvqugvcjdguvukhb fvijobesfijobhhvkcviuhsxvukhvkugxczvwuhvkuyvqukhkuuhabqhbhilaqbkhiqljinjiqqnkjlnsjiosdpsdpdwhcbkjhabqobkjbodvaboihqsdcbuoheqbfvuheavfbohuvfenijwrvfmvkchidnhidvbhfvbugfheguwegohiheiuhbsueuhyrhuyrurikbcihvxgcdiljleihouhsdkuhcvhukvdbsaouhbsadhuovihcbvbhvzhubdlinjonvojnvkvllplhwkvhhbdeuhbvfuhbfvhujrfbygdfugyudfgiyguyidgifdgiyucgdiuyvxugvztvAytviiytqvgiyqiuuqwgviwguvigudwbuihdfvbiuhbdgwboiunvewvkflpfdwoiwiu UH ieoskvfjpokfb,okpewpowoqekwwefkjbvefuiwnieuwfowelfjovbhousdbcowhusbhuowbuhivew uih weigh. Ewuohniohwvhoiewufhouiwhoi. Step 2: cbhuibcygibyguvaugyvygvauvyguvquyuhjsdsvdfibrefhiobdfwiuhvcewfiuhgvweiuybfpdpdokxbhiuywbdocahvceduhbewfiuhbweihubvfewuivevfuigvwdfiyubewfvuiywbvefuhivbwfehuiALMONDjrjvjlnjbuihviuhsbhiubjuvjgubhuicbihubdchkubduhkwbkhuwdksdiiuqhqjbahibvuiphhcepwopweijcbiodbfwhiobaegewfghfrhiobfruiobfrhiobwehiobowihefbiuh bhukwvbkhuwoiqbDRINKMILKqbldjiblwiehdbckiheqbueakhbufkhfebkuh. Step 3: done
@@averysadpizza6714 he has still violated the law of the universe, he should and shall still be punished. But in order to find middle ground, we’ll let him off by cutting his head off. He probably already eaten 4 dates so he should be fine… you have eaten 4 dates right KeziaPlayz?
I have spent more than a year eating nothing but almonds and I can say that I have turned back into a baby, an invincible baby. Someone even tried hitting me with a medieval battle axe but I ate 20 almonds that day so the axe broke. To say my family is confused and concerned is an understatement.
Fun fact: Bitter almonds contain small amounts of cyanide, and eating 30 of them could get you poisoned. That is not a problem with regular almonds you can buy from stores, as they are a different variant of almonds and not poisonous, but these posts never specified which almonds you should eat. I feel like if you eat 30 bitter almonds every day, you won't have to worry about any of these issues, because you'll slowly poison yourself to death.
Scientists need to study Danny. He has somehow managed to find the fountain of youth. He looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is. It's unbelievable.
"Anything else you want to say, Edward?" King Henry growled, leaning back in his throne. The pathetic boy in the guillotine had no expression. He knew this would happen eventually. There was silence. The king always knew Edward was the quiet type, even during his execution. Who knew stealing from his old friend would blow up in his face like this. "Very well then." The king glanced at the executioner, nodding his head and confirming it was time to let go of the rope. The blade came down. The crowd went silent. Edward's head was still on his body. He looked fine. In fact, he was smiling. Had it not worked? "What is the meaning of this?!" Henry sneered, standing up and walking towards his enemy. Edward's face held the same smile as he looked the king in the eyes. *"I ate 4 dates."* Don't ask why I spent time on this
sometimes when im sad i get 5 almonds and say "5 almonds daily no cancer" and eat them. truely this video has changed my life. thank you, danny gorpzolaz
“5 almonds a day no cancer” Maybe they mean the zodiac sign, like you just walk in a room you see your friend snacking on almonds and if you’re a cancer u just *adios*
One thing I love about Danny and his channel is that he is always neutral, kind, and funny. Not only him though, the gregs in the comments are the same way and that’s why I love this community💗
That lion thing was funny to me, because I think the context of that photo was meant to be a lioness protecting cubs since sometimes the lions/fathers try to munchy-munch on them.
Me: *Gets hit by car* Grim Reaper: *Walks towards me* Me: "Um, I'm sorry, but there must be a mistake. I ate four dates this morning." Grim Reaper: "Oh! Sorry about that." *Walks away*
man, I really want to see one of those reality shows where its like a bunch of people forced to be roommates or whatever, but its Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and George Washington. That would be epic.
I just imagine a paramedic just rushes in with almonds in a pill bottle dealing with someone who has leukemia or if they inject milk inside of someone who sprained their ankle or dislocated their thumb
Danny: We could all be a bit more healthy during these times. Me, sat in bed eating half a cheesecake for dinner: Yeah, it’s important for us all look after our bodies right now
it's almost 2am on a Sunday night there's school tomorrow why am I on the bathroom floor watching a four year old danny gonzales video I have so much work to do
When Danny sat on the chair, the ad that popped up on the video was a food-delivery ad, thinking he will say, "How girls sit.." then a video of fried chicken
“Let’s together healthy” is definitely a billion surprise toys song
@Hana sm bst isn't healthy😂
Their pista ice cream will definitely help you from getting ugly... And fat.
let's😳🥵together👯♀️💕bath🧼🛁
the klown kid pista with a almonds
that was so good
5 almonds: No cancer
500 almonds: Cyanide poisoning: No cancer.
So the limit is 499...?
Your profile picture looks like you never have bone problems
Jimbo Obmij exactly no cancer cause you won’t be here to get it 😂😂
I said this earlier
ALMONDS ARE INCREDIBLY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!! DON’T BUY ALMONDS! They use a ridiculous amount of water to grow (about a gallon of water to grow ONE almond) and in California huge almond farms divert water from rivers killing fish and natural life there. Almonds are also a huge contributing factor in bees going extinct, killing billions of bees per year. Bees are brought in to pollinate almond farms, die from pesticides and then they bring MORE BEES to die too! Replace almond milk with oat milk and for God’s sake DON’T BUY ALMONDS!!
“Head cut off? How about 4 dates”
A trick that the French royalty wasn’t aware of
Someone unlike this because 420 likes funny
I liked so now its 422
913 now
947 now
957
13:33 I actually interpreted the almond effects as more of a stackable thing. By the time you’ve eaten 6 almonds, you would have gained all the powers of the previous almonds PLUS a weight loss buff AND effects similar to a singular aspirin pill. Once you’ve eaten your six almonds per day, you would age backward, have a boost in energy and concentration, have substantial weight loss, have healthy skin, and be immune to both heart disease and all forms of cancer. That’s just six almonds, and those are just the effects you’ve shown in this video. I’ll check out the account to see if there’s more, because I’m now VERY interested in what they think the other effects of eating almonds are.
As a fetus i can confirm this, when i was 2 i ate six almonds and immediately began to age backwards!
What are you on?
@@Filmcooperfan the autism spectrum :3
@@Filmcooperfan the autism spectrum
@@slam.pyes
Me: allergic to almonds
Cancer: it’s free real estate
That made me wheeze 😂
Bro I’m allergic to almonds too!
@@gremlin3447 geez calm down it's not that funny
And not only I'm afraid of almonds I'm also afraid of eating peanuts as well
Zapp humor is subjective...now take off your clothes
Murderer: *Kills me*
Me: That wasn't very *four dates* of you.
LOL
Osteopod HEY I KNOW YOU
I got one laughter from this.
That wasn’t very daily one apple of you...
Ima go eat my daily lemon after this laughter
"what'd you eat today?
oh yknow, the usual, raisin water for breakfast, an apple, thirty almonds, a lemon, a glass of milk, four dates, and I prayed to god
the pic has 6 almonds fbi open up
My favorite food.
*Praying to God*
its says 123 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
@@wetsocks8378 13:43
*i ate god*
I know Danny will never see this and it's pretty silly but I wanna comment it anyway- About 6 months ago My pops passed away from cancer and the only thing that's made me feel at least a little better about the whole thing is this video. When he was diagnosed I was devistated but I kept saying to myself "5 almond daily no cancer" to cheer myself up.. this video got me through a lot, it gave me one laugher (only one, no more is allowed) to stop being so upset, and I know it's what he would of wanted. To not be upset about it, but to laugh instead.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss. Danny really is a legend. He might just make shit up as he goes, but it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. Having said that, I hope you have an amazing week! :)
@@asmoboiBoooo
@@OhHiiiMark ill eat you
@@asmoboimods rips this guys balls off
I can confirm the "5 daily almonds, no cancer". My mom did it and she had no cancers.
My brother is a Gemini and I'm a Leo.
that is a deadly combo
What's your birthday?
same with my mom, i’m a gemini and my sister is a sagittarius
Brilliant
@@Cupids_love666 july 26th and my brother june 15
damn, times are so tough that they’re rationing out laughter now
This is the best joke I've seen all day, sadly I have already used up my laughter ration
one laughter per person XD
Evergreen 🤣
Ha
ha
- “Five almonds daily no cancer”
- *proceeds to show a picture of six almonds*
The account is fake. Five almonds daily no cancer, six almonds daily yes cancer
TheDecryptedDude that means extra cancer
I saw that too I’m-
Five almonds ensure you don’t have cancer. Six ensure your immortality. They’re just watching out for us.
Same with the dates - talks about four, shows a picture of five
it's been two years and i still haven't made it to the end of the video because i use up my one (1) laughter on "why's my wife such a bitch" every time
try again now
have you done it yet
have you done it by now? You might have already gotten cancer if you didnt see what your supposed to do
have you finished the video
dude did you finish it?
"Raisin water" is one of the single most disgusting phrases I've ever heard.
Nikolai Estrella I literally vomited when I heard raisin water, I am being serious, I don’t mean figuratively.
Wine is disgusting
yes , grapes are G r o s s
Blood purification sound like a kinky marketing campaign
*insert bratz ew scene*
“Wives wanna eat their husbands!”
Female praying mantises: *well,*
Lol
Funny
Haha
@@ellaskystabber9655 yes
insect jokes on danny gonzalez videos. this is where i belong
But the “5 almond Daily No Cancer,” picture has 6 almonds.
No, Almonds have six eyes
**Confused Screaming**
Extra healthy, how do healthy extra? This is do how indeed;
Step 1: hibfhukbchiubdewiuyviguavgyvajhvqugvcjdguvukhb fvijobesfijobhhvkcviuhsxvukhvkugxczvwuhvkuyvqukhkuuhabqhbhilaqbkhiqljinjiqqnkjlnsjiosdpsdpdwhcbkjhabqobkjbodvaboihqsdcbuoheqbfvuheavfbohuvfenijwrvfmvkchidnhidvbhfvbugfheguwegohiheiuhbsueuhyrhuyrurikbcihvxgcdiljleihouhsdkuhcvhukvdbsaouhbsadhuovihcbvbhvzhubdlinjonvojnvkvllplhwkvhhbdeuhbvfuhbfvhujrfbygdfugyudfgiyguyidgifdgiyucgdiuyvxugvztvAytviiytqvgiyqiuuqwgviwguvigudwbuihdfvbiuhbdgwboiunvewvkflpfdwoiwiu UH ieoskvfjpokfb,okpewpowoqekwwefkjbvefuiwnieuwfowelfjovbhousdbcowhusbhuowbuhivew uih weigh. Ewuohniohwvhoiewufhouiwhoi.
Step 2: cbhuibcygibyguvaugyvygvauvyguvquyuhjsdsvdfibrefhiobdfwiuhvcewfiuhgvweiuybfpdpdokxbhiuywbdocahvceduhbewfiuhbweihubvfewuivevfuigvwdfiyubewfvuiywbvefuhivbwfehuiALMONDjrjvjlnjbuihviuhsbhiubjuvjgubhuicbihubdchkubduhkwbkhuwdksdiiuqhqjbahibvuiphhcepwopweijcbiodbfwhiobaegewfghfrhiobfruiobfrhiobwehiobowihefbiuh bhukwvbkhuwoiqbDRINKMILKqbldjiblwiehdbckiheqbueakhbufkhfebkuh.
Step 3: done
Lazaro Izquierdo I’m still fat
Arisavageee oh, you did the not do step 3; you have to "done", as in the action do!
oh, shit, man.. i laughed more than once.. i- i’m gonna miss my family.. *sigh* grab the handcuffs..
Was it one sustained laugh or several laughs?
@@eastoncreger4279 several..
@@keziaplayz8015 we'll let you off for now, with a warning. don't do it again
@@averysadpizza6714 he has still violated the law of the universe, he should and shall still be punished. But in order to find middle ground, we’ll let him off by cutting his head off. He probably already eaten 4 dates so he should be fine… you have eaten 4 dates right KeziaPlayz?
@@keziaplayz8015 how about 4 dates
There was no “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW” and it feels s o wrong
We can sing it ourselves:
“THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)”
Amanda Slocomb
SO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WATCH(or just watch this video)
I know we’ve had a lot of fun!
Opal O'Neill (a lot of fun) BUT YOU CANT STAY ON THIS ENDSCREEN FOREVER
@@geekyrain5746 (NO)
THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW
(OVER NOW)
"they should try making raisins that have water built into them"
"that would be GRAPE"
same lol 🤣🤣🤣
i think this is my favourite joke Danny has ever made
I love his corny jokes.. that's totally his swag lmao
It's grap not grape
@@Princelyspace61 what
“They should try making raisins with the water built into them... That would be grape.” Killed me.
I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT LMAOAOAOAOOA
Probably should have followed the advice then huh
Literally a grape
5:43
"That's a nice argument, senator. Why don't you back it up with a source?"
"My source is that I made it the fuck up."
Almonds: *exists*
Cancer: *Why do I hear boss music?*
Mr room foam
@@checkit2429 rabies
@@craigory9826 flamenco
@@checkit2429 bro I love the dance
@@craigory9826 ?
I have spent more than a year eating nothing but almonds and I can say that I have turned back into a baby, an invincible baby.
Someone even tried hitting me with a medieval battle axe but I ate 20 almonds that day so the axe broke. To say my family is confused and concerned is an understatement.
Doctors hate and fear them
LOOL your family is concerned 😂🙏
Relatable
😂😎 well done?
I start eating almonds now
Fun fact: Bitter almonds contain small amounts of cyanide, and eating 30 of them could get you poisoned. That is not a problem with regular almonds you can buy from stores, as they are a different variant of almonds and not poisonous, but these posts never specified which almonds you should eat. I feel like if you eat 30 bitter almonds every day, you won't have to worry about any of these issues, because you'll slowly poison yourself to death.
It only takes 15 to kill you. So....
@@maninwaiting326 .....
Is this true?
@@johnsonjaikaichow9972 yes. And its really only 15. Sweet almonds are fine to eat and its really hard to find bitter almonds.
time to eat 300 a day for 1 day
I’m so sorry Danny I had so much more than one laughter
Oopsies! What a pity. Now follow me to the Silencing Room.
Oh no. It has begun...
“ they should try making raisins that have the water built into them.
that would be *G R A P E* “
resurrection grapes
I was looking for this comment 😂
@Justin Nowaczynski kids, drink wine.
nko. Stop I already had my one laugh today
@@avid_toxicity2324 laughter*
Scientists need to study Danny. He has somehow managed to find the fountain of youth. He looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is. It's unbelievable.
He just eats his almonds bro
lmfao 💀🤚
we need his skincare routine
I think he just ate 2 - 3 almonds daily
It's just the almonds
“wow if only they could make raisins with the water built into them... that would be grape”
I love that so much
Jennifer M why did I not notice that omg 🤦♀️
As soon as he said that i smiled really big & said "fuck youuu" 😂
Death himself: it is time to go Danny
Danny: *zooms in on Danny's mouth* how. About. FOUR DATES.
Danny zooming in on danny
Y'ever notice that in this era of his videos, he zooms in on his mouth a lot, in fact?
Fitness corner: 5 almond daily no cancer
People with nut allergies: 5 almond daily anaphylactic shock
The dates will fix that.
I mean, you won't get cancer if you die because of allergies
@@dhruvaharit6385 very true, but maybe you can also get a bonus cancer. You can only win in this game of healthy
Bruh would u rather have cancer or anaphylactic shock
2 OUNCES OF ANTIFREEZE WILL KEEP THE CORONA VIRUS AWAY
"Anything else you want to say, Edward?" King Henry growled, leaning back in his throne. The pathetic boy in the guillotine had no expression. He knew this would happen eventually.
There was silence. The king always knew Edward was the quiet type, even during his execution. Who knew stealing from his old friend would blow up in his face like this.
"Very well then." The king glanced at the executioner, nodding his head and confirming it was time to let go of the rope.
The blade came down. The crowd went silent.
Edward's head was still on his body. He looked fine. In fact, he was smiling. Had it not worked?
"What is the meaning of this?!" Henry sneered, standing up and walking towards his enemy.
Edward's face held the same smile as he looked the king in the eyes.
*"I ate 4 dates."*
Don't ask why I spent time on this
Underrated comment right here 🗿
true art
art in its finest form
damn i was immersed
Put this on Wattpad NOW
“Let’s together healthy” sounds like a billion surprise toy song
Here Johnny have a broccoli, now lets together healthy
leTs toGetHer BatH
Equestrian Avielle XD so true
Yesss billion surprise toys is legendary😂
Together corona
“5 almonds a day, no cancer”
Me who was born in early July: *nervous sweating*
Ok that’s actually really funny lol
Guy gets shot by robber 36 times*
Robber: how are you not dead?
Guy: *slowly eating almonds while making eye contact*
Sandwichguy270 Animations oh man this comment really got me 😂😂
LMAO
Lmao
Robber: how are you not dead?
Guy: i came prepared bitchboy >:)
I actually think dates would be best for this situation.
Danny has been eating almonds and that’s why he looks so young. He has already begun his Benjamin button journey
Literally every nine yr old that’s seen Benjamin button thAt MeaNs HE iS oLd
Jokes on them I’m allergic to almonds 😎
*drew
𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝔂
What do you mean? He is 12?
Now we know Danny's secret of looking like a highschooler: he eats his 10 almonds daily
And 4 dates
No 4 dates
@peroh hol'up
xd
almond*
sometimes when im sad i get 5 almonds and say "5 almonds daily no cancer" and eat them. truely this video has changed my life. thank you, danny gorpzolaz
My friend: *Eats 5 almonds*
Me, a cancer: *Evaporates into thin air*
HAJEHFBEOWUHENFN
As a cancer I choked 😂😂
@@sagetheperson3295 How do you exist? I ate an almond today.
Ben Driscoll you didn’t eat enough
An almond a day keeps the cancers away
“5 almonds a day no cancer”
Maybe they mean the zodiac sign,
like you just walk in a room you see your friend snacking on almonds and if you’re a cancer u just
*adios*
As A Zodiac Scientist I Can Confirm This Is True
as a cancer, i can confirm this is true
Airiwiqq
@@savtoocool3998 ???
Yep *walks into my friends room and she's eating almonds.* me: Welp *YEET*
Friend: hey, I think you should stop smoking, you can get cancer you know
Me: That’s okay, I eat 5 almonds
Don’t do that you know....
Eating 5 almonds is not enough you must eat *6* you f*cking disgrace
STEVE NGUYEN no 8 silly
Starrynight oh i forgot!! (And your a f*cking dumbass it’s ♾
Starrynight these people are all idiots, obviously you need to eat 5 peanuts, not almonds
TSD Tom oh yeah your right
One Danny a day, no depression
Umm
It would probably be worded like:
“One danny daily, no depressed”
What if Danny just kept switching around the g’s in “Greg” and we just had no idea.
Why did you have to,,,why would you even...how could...wat
I didn’t want to have this thought in my brain.
Don’t f up my brain more than quaran math has already
how do we know if any of those letters are the same? What if he has an extra set of every letter and swaps them out between videos...
Whats up greG
If you want more than one “HA” you have to go to Danny’s second channel, where he gets more silly.
And drinks la croix
some poeple dont beilve me but danny gonzalez commented on my new video.
Wait, isn’t this his second channel? He has a second channel?
Elizabeth Rascol yeah he does, it’s called Drew Gooden
It also gets a little bit wackier down on the second channel.
I love how Danny interpreted “no weakness” as having no weaknesses, not weakness as in fatigue
no
@@SvaroAsano 576 likes, 2 comments
@@limeedhot 670 likes 3 comments
@@PrunselClone 672 likes 4 comments
@@limeedhot 712 likes and 5 comments
One thing I love about Danny and his channel is that he is always neutral, kind, and funny. Not only him though, the gregs in the comments are the same way and that’s why I love this community💗
Me: *laughs twice*
Danny: your free trial of being alive has ended.
r/madlads
@@Nirufion1975 r/sjkakaiaoqjqja
r/ohgodfuckmyspineithurts
r/bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
lol
My friend ate 3 almonds a day. He died of cancer. Should have eaten 4. You’re Welcome.
Luis of LBC Media Reviews but why didn’t he just turn back into a baby?
@@lillygun3690 that only works if you eat 2
smh i hate hearing preventable deaths like this it always makes me cry
No 5, 4 are for heart diseases so he still would have died
Goldlara 24 it says 2-3
“Raisins with water built into them... that would be grape”
glad im not the only one that caught that
@@RNG-esus sorry I'm a little confused, what is there to catch? I thought it was pretty clear lol
JSlego Productions humans are grapes then
@@frosty_teacup boi
@@frosty_teacup cause it also sounds like "that would be great" but still the joke is pretty obvious
That lion thing was funny to me, because I think the context of that photo was meant to be a lioness protecting cubs since sometimes the lions/fathers try to munchy-munch on them.
Me: *Gets hit by car*
Grim Reaper: *Walks towards me*
Me: "Um, I'm sorry, but there must be a mistake. I ate four dates this morning."
Grim Reaper: "Oh! Sorry about that." *Walks away*
Zoe C lol
Lmao
Me: falls out of window
Grim reaper: *COMES*
me"i ate four dates today"
Grim reaper: "sorry"
*walks away*
666th like
L D you are cursed
"They should try making raisins with the water built in to them"
"That would be grape"
Greatest pun I've heard in a while.
grapest pun
“1glass of milk a day, no bone problems” ok tell that to my scoliosis
Isobel Turner AHAHAHA ME TOO
No more bones getting squishy
I bet ur sitting like this
|
\
/
maybe you need to drink more milk😅
just drink milk everyday and it will go away
"They got my legend ass" really got me
My 6 rounds of chemotherapy didn’t cure my cancer, no. It was those 5 almonds I ate
Should have ate those almonds before you got cancer, man. Would have saved ya a lot of trouble.
@@bluerose536 tell me about it
👁👄👁gosh darn it *USHOULDVE EATEN THEM, BEFORE THE CANCER!*
So youre saying it was cured, which means the 5 almonds worked.
Therefore it doesnt matter if you have the almonds before or after
cant have cancer if your dead which is why I choose to work at the CPKO Cancer Patient Killer Organization
OK BUT CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THIS JOKE PLEASE:
"They should try making raisins with water built into them. That would be grape".
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I thought the same thing lol
I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE SAID GRAPE HAHAHAH
My mom asked why I was snickering so much x)
*moment of silence for that joke*
Very slept on
Husband got shocked while reading his wife’s report card
1.Pee in her mouth
2.DIVORCE
Pee in her mouth: 20 diamonds
divorce: 0 diamonds
Your diamonds: 0
@@yeetmetothemoon2122 o h no
yes
BAHAHA
1
man, I really want to see one of those reality shows where its like a bunch of people forced to be roommates or whatever, but its Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and George Washington. That would be epic.
may i recommend a show called clone high
I have the same personality type as Gandhi, so that would be very interesting for me to watch. I would be bouncing in my seat, LOL!
Job interviewer: So what are your weaknesses?
Me: * eats 4 dates * I don't have any.
LMFAOOO
ℓмασ
Laureen alternative setup:
Job Interviewer: “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”
Me after eating four dates: “You mean what are my strengths?”
But just for a day
@@callmeqt1269 lol
“They should make raisins with the water built into them..”
“That would be grape”
This is the best pun of 2020. I'm calling it
Yes... that was the joke he was making... but he didn’t say grape... he only implied it... which made it funny...
Actually made me laugh😂
lexicon jordan no its bc grape sounds like great silly
it was best laugh ha
“They should start making raisins with the water built into them”
“That would be grape”
Bruh XD
yes i too watched the video
**surprised Pikachu face**
ah yes, funny
How did 760 people like this
"have you had your laughter yet?" gets me everytime lmao
“Scientists should make raisins that already have water in them, that would be grape” holy shit that’s the best joke I’ve ever heard
Did you use your one laughter tho?
won lafter ples 😎
He said great, not grape.
@@Takimeko he said grape, that’s the joke
@@PeelingCeiling35 Don't worry, i'm still believing he's saying great cuz I hear no P sound whatsoever in that word.
"Wives wanna eat their husbands."
Female spiders: I mean-
Female praying mantis: _Yes_
True
Female octopuses: 🙌
@@moved.6963 "octoPUSSES", if you will
literally most bugs: 😏
As a girl I can confirm that is in fact how we sit.
Hey girl
Same
@@Cat-yx7xc I'm trynna to type "hey man" back with my foot but instead, I got "ג ואנחנו לא רוצים"
We sit like we are summoning the underground lord himself, yeah
Indeed. This is why we sit all day, because it's hard to stand up due to too many limbs.
Dude i love danny gonzalez videos ngl ive watched like every single one on furious and this one im truly greg
“Like raisins that have the water built inside them...”
“That would be grape”
Soul Reaper pun city!
I came to comment that lol
Someone Social Distancing dried out is different than fermented
this might be the greatest pun of all time. Danny g do be a g doe
Cop: What will be your last meal before death
Prisoner: Four Dates please
Cop: (⊙_⊙;)
He's too powerful to be kept alive
Oh damn, they gotta make it illegal to eat more than one date a day (its four by the way, sorry)
It was at this moment that he knew... He fucked up.
If I ever get put on death row I'm asking for four dates for my last meal and praying that at least one cop remembers this video.
@@chaoticunknown7317 it’s too late, you cannot stop him.
Me: Mom, can I have 6 laughter?
Mom: no, you can only have one laughter.
😂. That’s my laughter for total, no more
WADAA
I love ur pfp
we have laughter at home
ugh come on mom, please?
So you’re telling me that if my mom had eaten 5 almonds a day then she wouldn’t have gotten breast cancer
If only you'd seen this video before.. 😔
yes
Felt that 😔
It's too bad this video didn't come out when I was 2 I could've saved my dad
@@stabbed.pineapple3717 Rest in peace to your father. 😔
Doctor: you have cancer
Me: but I ate 5 almonds
Doctor: shit well I guess you don’t have cancer
There's 6 almonds on the picture.
who tf needs chemo chemos for pussies only the cool kids eat almonds
Becca Bradley YEAH, I’m sure drew would agree with that!
U Really Suck oh my god-
“Wine”
Me, an intellectual:
R a i s i n W a t e r
Why did you have to curse me with this
I don’t-
GalaxyArt- John Laurens technically , you aren't wrong
R/technicallythetruth
I read wine as wife and was so confused for like 30 seconds
“Wife is wife, no matter who you are”
-one laughter please
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha ha
WAIT SH
@Crrpt Tan thank you for ONLY giving one laughter. Remember you cannot laugh for the rest of the day! You are only allowed one.
9:04
Lactose intolerant people: guys my bones are getting squishy
Rn my bones are bouncy
Vegans too lmao
I remember that video
**Gasping noises**
Yo my bones are fluorescent
I just imagine a paramedic just rushes in with almonds in a pill bottle dealing with someone who has leukemia or if they inject milk inside of someone who sprained their ankle or dislocated their thumb
I MISREAD PARAMEDIC AS PARMESEAN OMG
*broke ankle
my bread brain can’t process a bit of what this says but i agree
e a t a l m o n d
@@Emma_The_H0ppin_H00ligan I Regretti my Spaghetti
Danny: We could all be a bit more healthy during these times.
Me, sat in bed eating half a cheesecake for dinner: Yeah, it’s important for us all look after our bodies right now
Golden Fireworks damn cheesecake sounds hella good rn
Vibe
me who ate half a bag of potato chips for breakfast: take care of urselfs :))))
Golden Fireworks me stuffing my face with 4 starburst thinking I made a new flavor
Meredith Grace Dude it was salted caramel, it was GLORIOUS
"that would be grape" is the best joke i've heard all day
5 Almonds = No cancer
10 Almonds = *Invincibility*
*30 almonds
No you need to eat four dates for invincibility
You mean to tell me I've been this close all along? All these years I've been eating 9 almonds....
Gameshack 40 almonds: GOD LIKE
200 almonds: you ascend and become a god
That dance with "why my wife such a b*tch?" had me rollin'
It had me worried for him💀
@@Ryanryanryanrtan what in the fuck is that
@@imdatingmygrandma I’m going back
@calebnoo9037 Seinfeld
who’s gonna let danny know that it’s 100% some indian uncle’s account
You will
The way that i knew just by looking at the thumbnail
@@hijabahmed5998 and the 3 idiots meme format lol
of course
came to the comments just to make this comment THANK YOU
it's almost 2am on a Sunday night there's school tomorrow why am I on the bathroom floor watching a four year old danny gonzales video I have so much work to do
Rest in peace man
“5 almonds daily, no cancer” people with nut allergies:
oof
The pain of nut allergies I’m going to get cancer now:(
Well guess you have cancer
Which nut?
Technically you still don't have cancer
“I’m sorry mam, you have cancer”..... “uh no sorry I ate 5 almonds.” ...... cancer: *ight ima head out*
Sarah Crain lol 😂 just laughed so hard lololololol 😂
OH NO I I HAD MORE THAN ONE LAUGHTER 😰😨😱
@@espy77 only 1 laugher
FBI OPEN UP
Oh hey hey man I wanna was a good day today is gonna I gotta was the day we had a chance to get a chance to see y’all and I wanna was your birthday!
@Samantha’s Doodles OMG I have more then one laughter to 😳😱😱😨😨😨😰😰😰🌲🌲🌲
Valkerie K why trees?
Had to stop after 3 minutes. I had one laughter. I Couldn't have any more.
Daily dose of laughter. Hashtag laughter. Ha.
One laughter*
Thomas had seen it all.
He now could live in peace and finally rest.
Same, ha
good job. only one laughter remember
This video gives old man who takes everything literally and I’m thriving from it (I went over the laughter limit )
The reason Danny looks 16 is because he eats almonds every day
Yes
And he also drinks raisin water
He needs some hair on his face too
danny exposed
Yes he eats 16 years old teens everyday
“5 almonds daily, no cancer” if only my grandpa saw this 9 months ago
Well shit
Oh well
That's sad.
@@rhojwayne6586 WTH?
D̷a̷y̷m̷ lol
“Hey mom can we stop and get some laughter?” “No, we have laughter at home.” The laughter at home:
Those spaces
Bread Butter do u not know what the shift button is?
:P when I went to press enter it kept sending the comment- I tried my best broski.
Hey mom can we have [enter key]?
no we have [enter key] at home
enter key at home:
@@maldoestuff shift+enter unless u on mobile
12:41 I slowed the playback speed so I could count these. Danny, you did 10. Also Danny on slow-mo is next level 💀.
Where it says “eat 5 almonds a day” there are 6 almonds pictured. That’s how you know it’s bad advice
*good
an overdose
AND THERE'S FIVE DATES.
on the “4 dates daily, no weakness” there were 5 dates 😂
But they only just now figured out maths.
grim reaper: it's time to go
danny: how about.... FOUR DATES?
Grim reaper: *blushes* how about just one for now. Pick u up at eight
I for one would love to go on four dates with the grim reaper
Actually fuck it, more than four dates
I am in love with you bone man
the new anime dating sim: do you believe in love after life?
I mean, this is how Taako avoided death lol
@@Lucifersfursona phrasing...
why is no one talking about how raisin water is literally grape juice
wine
"they should make raisins with water already built into them. that would be Grape."
So grape juice is raisin water
coffee is just bean water
Literally just grapes. I’m dying.
I like how 5 almond daily, no cancer has a picture of 6 almonds
Danny: How boys sit
The ad disrupting Danny: Boys sit like they’re on a bike....
When Danny sat on the chair, the ad that popped up on the video was a food-delivery ad, thinking he will say, "How girls sit.." then a video of fried chicken
WJB I got a manscaped ad
4:37
Levi Ackerman i’m just here to compliment your attack on titan stuff
Coin.. master.. ad..
I love how you just completely slipped over the fact that the "5 almonds" pic has 6 almonds, and the "4 dates" pic has 5 dates.
He can't recognize numbers remember?
Hrrrr hrrrr what number
serial killer:
WHY
WONT
YOU
DIE
me, eating 4 dates 5 almonds an apple and milk: i came prepared, babyman
🤣I just came from Newgrounds and am sad I can't react.
Serial killer: Then I’ll cut off your food supply
Eating 4 dates, 5 almonds, an apple, and milk prevent your bones from getting squishy
Don't forget the raisin water to look beautiful while u do it.....also I think raisin with the water built in is just...grapes? But I'm no doctor...
@@franqvictoriano5725 NOooOoOoOoOoOOOo
7:23 he missed the fact that if we make up shit we're legends
"5 almonds daily, no cancer"
*six almonds are in the picture*
Just realized that
Oh, that is why I can see the cancer
The sixth almond is there to prevent the other five almonds from getting cancer.
-20 cancer
Don’t eat the last almonds or u will get cancer
Everybody: grape juice
Me, an intellectual: *raisin water*
Dried Grape H2O
@@yangzhou07 I love me some dried grape H2O
Wet raisin water
Dehydrated grape water
raisin blood
Patient: I have cancer, my cells are mutating
Doctor: A L M O N D
Patient: I have chlamydia.
Doctor: Eat some fuckin' cashews, I dunno.
iHaveCancer
iCarly, Season 4, Episode 26
(this a joke btw)
@@also_arles LMAO I THOUGHT OF THE SAME THING
5 almond
*pic has 6*
target lady
I love watching Drew's videos! So funny. Hope his nutcracker doesn't kill him tho.