"NARCISSISTS VS AVOIDANTS: WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES AND WHAT ARE THE SIMILARITIES?" with Adriana

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
  • Narcissists VS Avoidants: what are the differences and what are the similarities?
    I am joined by @letsgetyourshifttogether for this live discussing narcissism and avoidant attachment.
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    Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own.

ความคิดเห็น • 40

  • @universalmonster4972
    @universalmonster4972 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    You’re one of the best channels on avoidants. Definitely deserve more exposure. Hope the channel grows, thanks for your content.

    • @KenReidCo
      @KenReidCo  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I appreciate that! I hope so too.

    • @annaalm18
      @annaalm18 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Totally agree!

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Excellent!

  • @trippy6183
    @trippy6183 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I find it ridiculous when people say “don’t get deep in the dating phase.” If you are seeking a substantial relationship, you definitely need to ask real questions & initiate deep, personal conversations.

  • @jhlfsc
    @jhlfsc 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Another thing...(and I sincerely do mean this "with all due respect" because this was a great eppisode).
    However, I think that the huge red flag difference that was overlooked here is that the absolute LAST thing a dismissive avoidant attachment wants is to elicit a hyper emotional response and just "sit back and watch someone go crazy".
    Actually, the one thing D.A.'s will desperately try to avoid is the sort of emotional volitility that fuels a true narcissist.
    This goes beyond the "intent" differential between the two, it is actually polar opposite in intended outcomes.
    It's important to note that D.A.'s typically do not "keep score". Not because they are too emotionally evolved to do so, but because they are way too overwhelmed by just getting through the day to be able to.

    • @anoncspan4129
      @anoncspan4129 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Good point and well articulated!

  • @mint_soup9743
    @mint_soup9743 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I've never hurt so much. Thank you both.

  • @id9139
    @id9139 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    They feel contempt for you while you feel sorry for them.

  • @jhlfsc
    @jhlfsc 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Another way to tell the difference is that someone with a true dismissive avoidant attachment style will not "love bomb" anyone. Not because they are not loving, but because they often times are so out of touch with their own emotions that it would be difficult for them to know how, or be able to handle "laying it on thick" in order to elicit a response.
    In that respect, they actually aren't very good at conciously manipulating anyone like a narcissist would.

    • @Marauder-kd8zi
      @Marauder-kd8zi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wish I could have some sense of clarity after possibly explain my situations

    • @jhlfsc
      @jhlfsc 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Marauder-kd8zi
      Bottom line is that although some narccisistic and dismissive avoidant behaviors seem to rhyme, they are two totally different pathologies at play and the motives behind them could not be more different.

    • @Marauder-kd8zi
      @Marauder-kd8zi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jhlfsc thats the hardest part about it no t knowing everyone around me would say she never values my time so idk it’s sad

    • @CryptoTaurusMoon
      @CryptoTaurusMoon 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Absolutely

  • @Growwithgrace101
    @Growwithgrace101 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Everytìme I watch one of your videos I see another insight...everything you both say is spot on. I got away from a narc straight to avoidant and it felt familiar but totally opposite 😅

    • @sherij9847
      @sherij9847 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My experience too. I kept wondering what did I miss. I looked for Narc signs, it wasn’t there. Why the sudden discard with no issues?? I then learned about attachment styles. It was a lesson needed to grow my discernment

    • @id9139
      @id9139 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Does Dismissive avoidant have a toddler tantrum?

    • @ic2800
      @ic2800 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@sherij9847 omg me too... i was looking for the narc signs cuz I didn't want to repeat the same mistake. to have my heartbroken again. i had no clue that the severe avoidant is like this.

  • @Marauder-kd8zi
    @Marauder-kd8zi 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This is the hard part my ex was very hard to tell I know she had her issues but it had traits of both and I’m just so lost

  • @WalksfortheSoul77
    @WalksfortheSoul77 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I had a hard time believing that the ex was intending to harm me and leaned toward avoidant attachment with his defensiveness that seemed only to come out when he felt insecure and he didn't ever put me down or anything like that. But then it began to move into this highly disrespectful, passive-aggressive behaviors and even rage that was once in a while taken out on me through yelling but more often than not taken out on a box or a wall. Around the 4th or 5th month together he must have texted me "I'm sorry" for something I called him out on multiple times a week until the end of the relationship. I know he falls under covert and vulnerable narcissism because as I finally called him out on things he began ramping up the cruelty and then ended it with udder sadism in the discard. Yet I could also see he was depressed or just didn't care or both. I feel like I met the most confusing person on earth who while a narcissist, just didn't fall neatly into that behavior pattern either. At the end of the day, his cruelty and lack of care for my feelings to put it mildly are what I remind myself and I may never know what his true feelings and intentions were. That mattered to me greatly for the 8 months we were together, but now I am releasing it.

  • @ginam.4990
    @ginam.4990 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Omg...you described my ex anxious/fearful avoidant partner.

  • @JanetWinans
    @JanetWinans 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    both hurt others~~~~~~~~~

  • @monikori6473
    @monikori6473 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What about self-aware narcissists? Some have channels now too and it seems they have healed/are healing.

  • @scribeLeo
    @scribeLeo หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Keep swearing girl!! 😂

  • @riyajacob2909
    @riyajacob2909 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    #KenandAndrianna,useful information....Much appreciated ❤

  • @YPOTS
    @YPOTS 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I like your video with others, but why is there so much background noise at times? It is challenging to listen to you. There was lots of loud noise with the video with Tawny, I almost had to stop watching.

    • @anoncspan4129
      @anoncspan4129 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      There was building construction. He addressed it and apologized.

  • @theresejames8826
    @theresejames8826 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Low self esteem people attract narcissist. High self esteem people don't put up with narcissist for one minute. They call them on their bullsh** and or leave.

  • @DubShah
    @DubShah 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    She swears so much

    • @og8425
      @og8425 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And you're hyper-critical. Would rather have her company.

    • @DubShah
      @DubShah 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@og8425 was an observation, why don't you want to hang out?

    • @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529
      @repentjesusiscomingsoon1529 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm SO tired of the profanity!!! I cringe every time she said that, very inappropriate!

    • @id9139
      @id9139 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Perhaps you are projecting something. She is freely expressing herself. I value authenticity.

    • @DubShah
      @DubShah 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@id9139 I'm stating a fact why are people psychoanalyzing me???

  • @amitsalaskar1024
    @amitsalaskar1024 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You guys supposed experts aint saying the one thing that absolutely a deal breaker in healing. The suffering person themselves are seeking outside validation and feel half inside. They aint complete without someone giving them a validation thay they are loved. Self love is complete by beleiving in a youself yes but the other half has to be a belief. Either in your goals / routine or the universe(god or some superpower). Only complete people heal. Meditation and going deep into urself or meditating on god ( mantras) is the only way to heal. Whatever else therapy etc is only surface level to facilitate the journey of healing by talking etc. but the real work has to start from ur soul and it cant be found anywhere else. No books or no therapist can help you until u really want to tap into ur own soul. Do breath works it helps to bring you to here and now and not process past emotions into today. One tip is stop trying to understand human behaviour so deeply. There is no end to it as every individuals neuron's are firing different n unique to them. More you try to learn different unhealthy patterns the more u hv access to use it urself. So stop if u can 😉Good luck!!

  • @bestdeals7295
    @bestdeals7295 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    great information, but maybe lighten up on cussing next time