New Rule: Who Is Donald Doing? | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @TheMangoMussolini
    @TheMangoMussolini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1036

    This one is historic. Nowhere, no way, no how has anyone ever come up with a troll of this magnitude. I bow to your comedic genius.

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yes!

    • @petercelle1796
      @petercelle1796 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Just wow, sometimes. Good on ya, Bill

    • @outermarker5801
      @outermarker5801 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I think Captain Ho Lee Fuk and his crew still takes troll of the century, but this was pretty sic

    • @halrichard1969
      @halrichard1969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hey Mango where you been? 🙂

    • @a.i.8583
      @a.i.8583 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is Trump Derangement Syndrome: when you desperately seek Trump's attention you do a bit about his sex life which is inconsequential.
      This "New Rule" is a bit weird, not to say obsessive Maher.

  • @julievorensky8250
    @julievorensky8250 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    This needs to be posted to Truth Social!

  • @russell2952
    @russell2952 2 ปีที่แล้ว +858

    Knowing that he's watching this and fuming puts a smile on my face.

    • @n1kobefan
      @n1kobefan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Knowing you people think this puts a giant one on mine lmao so deluded

    • @Kurt77777
      @Kurt77777 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can assure you, President Trump doesn't waste his time watching unintelligent vulgar people try desperately to be funny, but never will be. Pretty stupid and boring material.

    • @tosin5346
      @tosin5346 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He saw your comment too 😅

    • @daylanhammer4551
      @daylanhammer4551 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Kurt77777 we know for a fact that Trump watches Real Time segments because he bitches about what Bill Maher says every other week. You can’t pretend he isn’t the thin skinned man-baby he is.

    • @davidcat1455
      @davidcat1455 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@n1kobefan
      Looks like Bill managed to troll you AND Trump😂

  • @1Probound
    @1Probound ปีที่แล้ว +132

    One of the best 'new rule' segments I've seen to date. Keep asking the questions no one else will. Two thumbs up.

    • @helenmcfarland2997
      @helenmcfarland2997 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Now that’s the Bill Maher I know and love! Personally I think of all the reasons Bill mentioned, the last one was correct - after all his addiction to Adderall has those kinds of side effects!

    • @pamdias2532
      @pamdias2532 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I know the answer it’s the female dog named cannon that’s why she is stuck to him

  • @mikeevans9334
    @mikeevans9334 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    This was the best bill Maher I've ever seen ! Fukkin genius!!

  • @Pugetwitch
    @Pugetwitch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +435

    "She won't even give him hand."

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I was on floor for that one.

    • @waynedavies3185
      @waynedavies3185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Trump's hand has no hair..... That's proved when he holds it up during his speeches.

    • @mysteriousu5528
      @mysteriousu5528 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      May be she doesn't like tiny hands🤣🤣🤣

    • @caronstout354
      @caronstout354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's not in her contract!

    • @denisemcdougal6445
      @denisemcdougal6445 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @geotom2023
    @geotom2023 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3322

    THIS is how to bait a narcissicist

    • @lindagrigsby8669
      @lindagrigsby8669 2 ปีที่แล้ว +179

      He will surely reply because he can’t resist it 😂

    • @magicmarker7047
      @magicmarker7047 2 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      I think that what Bill said at the end is more likely than not. For most men of that age the prostate is the culprit.

    • @Hirnlego999
      @Hirnlego999 2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

      @@magicmarker7047 At least some good news for Melania

    • @paulgallagher2937
      @paulgallagher2937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +132

      @@magicmarker7047 His age, terrible diet, drugs, etc. The mushroom is probably completely kaput.

    • @chadley25
      @chadley25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +169

      Yup. Maher is clearly a master baiter.

  • @Stud_muffin
    @Stud_muffin 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    This was great. Maher at his best. The fact it was on Trump is icing on the cake.

  • @Manski_123
    @Manski_123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    Hats off to the “Real Time” team for this one. Classic!

    • @moondancer6488
      @moondancer6488 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It was especially good!!! 💖

  • @MisterSynonym
    @MisterSynonym 2 ปีที่แล้ว +551

    "has the loyalty of a pet scorpion" - That was a genius line.

    • @paulgarrison6185
      @paulgarrison6185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      This is the comment I was looking for haha

    • @jeffs6090
      @jeffs6090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      That and the Nick Cannon line

  • @llongone2
    @llongone2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    "Lindsey Graham could be involved" - LOL

    • @carriestuart9921
      @carriestuart9921 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I loved that line, too 🤣

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The best!!!

    • @kathydowning3141
      @kathydowning3141 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lindsey Graham is an Incel

    • @BigBadJerryRogers
      @BigBadJerryRogers 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He just hasn't met the right girl yet I tell you

    • @missmiss6516
      @missmiss6516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lady Lindsey is def involved.

  • @edwardpape5819
    @edwardpape5819 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Genius writing. Brilliant delivery.

  • @Nikowilliams02737
    @Nikowilliams02737 2 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    This has to be one of your best bits on this show. Bravo !

  • @randyrainbow6692
    @randyrainbow6692 2 ปีที่แล้ว +367

    The very last sentence is pure genius. Well done Bill. One of your best.

    • @mattsharkey8437
      @mattsharkey8437 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Shut up lol

    • @a.i.8583
      @a.i.8583 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No. This is cringe, and sad. And not at all funny. The Obsession that is Trump Derangement Syndrome is f**king weird. And this bit is an example of Maher thinking nonstop about Orange Man.

    • @DippyHippie
      @DippyHippie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@a.i.8583 don’t watch!

    • @THINJIMI
      @THINJIMI 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Answer: He is F***ing everybody, and has been for 6 years!

    • @jensrogerkristoffersen5472
      @jensrogerkristoffersen5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@a.i.8583 you got no humor! The fact that it's all true make it even more hilarious.

  • @jillclarke7264
    @jillclarke7264 2 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    It was a long walk, but boy was it worth it. Thanks Bill, sometimes the bully has it coming. Sincerely, A Suburban Housewife

    • @hemnebob1
      @hemnebob1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You are totally correct!

    • @pugsymalone6539
      @pugsymalone6539 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Who hurt you?

    • @likebot.
      @likebot. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Not only worth it, but needed. Melania probably watched that and had her first heartfelt smile in over 6 years.

    • @emanuelmota7217
      @emanuelmota7217 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And EVERY step of that long walk was amazing.

  • @pirate3599
    @pirate3599 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    From New Zealand, im a super fan, touche Bill, excellent comedy and humor, very well done Sir

    • @CooperGirl44883
      @CooperGirl44883 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's so cool you watch Bill in New Zealand. Although the whole world is looking at our country and think there's a lot of crazies here. I'm embarrassed at the stupidity of my fellow Americans.

  • @bonnieforman9700
    @bonnieforman9700 2 ปีที่แล้ว +718

    Bill, this may be THE funniest thing you've ever written and delivered with perfection. Absolutely beyond fantastic.

    • @chrisbrown2211
      @chrisbrown2211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      he has a staff of writers

    • @bonnieforman9700
      @bonnieforman9700 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@chrisbrown2211 He would have to. The bit kept going and going, one hilarious statement after another. Record-setting laughs. Are you on his staff?

    • @chrisbrown2211
      @chrisbrown2211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bonnieforman9700 no

    • @stephaniechampion7260
      @stephaniechampion7260 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      His staff of writers probably listened to him rant on this and then put together the best and funniest parts of what he said. If you listen to his podcast you would know this is definitely Bill and not just his writers.

    • @bonnieforman9700
      @bonnieforman9700 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@stephaniechampion7260 It is imperative to hear your thoughts out loud to know if they are making sense to someone else. Writers sit around talking thoughts out either among themselves or out loud alone before they know it will work. Bill has probably had this boiling on a back burner for a while.

  • @stellasbluesky
    @stellasbluesky 2 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    Without a doubt, hands down, the most laser beam sharp New Rule ever. Absolutely brilliant, and Best of Bill funny.

  • @roypiper581
    @roypiper581 2 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    How he did this whole skit for 8 minutes without even cracking once is amazing!

    • @LTM-gu5fz
      @LTM-gu5fz ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He does have the occasional smirk of self approval

    • @royjohnson366
      @royjohnson366 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very good writing. 👍

    • @bernamar
      @bernamar 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He almost did but he restrained himself.

  • @raymondanka6030
    @raymondanka6030 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    WHY CAN'T WE UNEARTH HIS BONE................HYSTERICAL. BEST LINE EVER.

  • @promise72
    @promise72 2 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    The writers deserves a yuuuuge bonus for this MASTERPIECE!

    • @ogionwiz
      @ogionwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"

  • @KohalaLover
    @KohalaLover 2 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    “The loyalty of a pet scorpion” !! Love this.

    • @robynsun_love
      @robynsun_love 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      lol that’s the one joke in the segment I didn’t get.
      Is the implication they’re prone to stinging you, or that they’re prone to running away?

    • @vijayiyer8518
      @vijayiyer8518 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@robynsun_love both

  • @randykinsley5721
    @randykinsley5721 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I was in tears with this. LMFAO!

  • @sarahstrupinski6863
    @sarahstrupinski6863 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Just found you on TH-cam (I'm from UK). Thank you for making me laugh so much about this ex president nutcase! You are brilliant.

    • @lynnerodgers4461
      @lynnerodgers4461 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And let's hope to God that he is never re-elected to lead this country again. He is unhinged and crass as F. He's an embarrassment to our country. Pray for us in the USA.

  • @zein9227
    @zein9227 2 ปีที่แล้ว +529

    This was spectacular. The way he kept on diverting our attention towards a "juicy" topic just to troll him about his lack of prowess was a thing of beauty and the perfect example of comedic storytelling! Bill, you're on a roll and I love your show!

    • @garysatterlee7430
      @garysatterlee7430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He's not giving trump the rub he's giving libs the rub it's sarcasm you don't get it.

    • @kelly-annflanagan7693
      @kelly-annflanagan7693 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@garysatterlee7430 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 you keep telling yourself that.

    • @jimbradley3529
      @jimbradley3529 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@garysatterlee7430 Ok Gary, keep living in Fantasy Land with unicorns that can fly.

    • @Anzac7RAR
      @Anzac7RAR 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@garysatterlee7430 giving libs the rub? 😂🤦🏻‍♂️😂 how much is a Trump only fans subscription and do you get the 🍄 pics or are they extra?

    • @NewHorizonsjules
      @NewHorizonsjules 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      so boring.... so vulgar... so old fashioned.... Not funny, just boring.

  • @catherinebateman6179
    @catherinebateman6179 2 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    That was the best yet Bill!!! Priceless!! Your writers need a raise because that was perfection.

    • @KlausSgroi
      @KlausSgroi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I thought he himself wrote the script. Doesn't he?

    • @carlodave9
      @carlodave9 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@KlausSgroi No. He writes his own material for his comic career, but he puts this show together with a team of writers. I’m sure he participates and punches things up though.

    • @Maplecook
      @Maplecook 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@KlausSgroi All famous comedians above a certain level, have writers.

  • @shsu7426
    @shsu7426 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Bill is awesome in this episode!!!

  • @lauriegates5856
    @lauriegates5856 2 ปีที่แล้ว +339

    You were on fire tonight Bill. Haven't laughed this hard in a while.

    • @huntercalgary
      @huntercalgary 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      then you would fit perfectly in his audience of seals.....lol

    • @vbros7
      @vbros7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@huntercalgary Could not agree more. I was going to make the same comment and saw this. It almost sounds like a crazy hyped up laugh track. Where do these people come from?

    • @nomadtrails
      @nomadtrails 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I couldn't disagree more. This was the weakest segment I may have ever seen of his.

    • @vbros7
      @vbros7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nomadtrails I was agreeing with @huntercalgary, not the original poster...

    • @lloydavery2and2make5
      @lloydavery2and2make5 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You tryna buy a bridge or na?

  • @trevorsabo1824
    @trevorsabo1824 2 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    This one will go down in the books for a loooong time - and will also age very well. No holds barred - historic and hilarious. Thank you Mr. Maher - ✌️❤️🇨🇦

  • @annek1226
    @annek1226 2 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    This performance deserves an Emmy!

    • @shawnyoung8752
      @shawnyoung8752 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Maher bit that had Trump show his birth certificate to prove his was nt spawned by a orangatange was the best. He said he would give trump 5 million dollars. Trump bit. Showed his birth cert. That was a copy just like obamas that trump denied. Trump tried to sue maher for the 5 million. Clownshow trump at his best.

  • @peterellemose5867
    @peterellemose5867 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is one of the best "New Rules" and a great question!

  • @marthashandley2637
    @marthashandley2637 2 ปีที่แล้ว +367

    My faith in Bill Maher was restored. This is pure brilliance!

    • @ogionwiz
      @ogionwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"

    • @peorakef
      @peorakef 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      can u see my comment

    • @MelissaKnoxwriter
      @MelissaKnoxwriter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@peorakef I never lost my faith in BIll Maher!

    • @marthashandley2637
      @marthashandley2637 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ogionwiz and you're what comes out of Pavlov's dog and we have to carry around plastic bags and pick it up! I just thought of something, it's a perfect definition for the Maga crowd, they just walk around shitting in everyone's yard and then make the rest of us clean it up!💙

    • @ogionwiz
      @ogionwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marthashandley2637 well, you are laughing when you hear a pathetic joke, but it is about Trump. So what I've said is true. You have replied with childish attempt of insult based on nothing. But its ok, I didn't expect any smart reply from any leftists. But please, tell me, what is funny about assumption that Trumps dick doesn't work? Lets even pretend that it is true, and for some reason you care. So what exactly is funny?

  • @williamduffy1227
    @williamduffy1227 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    Comedy Gold. I almost couldn't believe how long he kept it going.
    Great Stuff Bill. ⭐

    • @marybeth1644
      @marybeth1644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kept it going much longer than Trump probably can these days!

  • @wolfgangweller1475
    @wolfgangweller1475 2 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    Who else is waiting for a response from Don to this? And there will be one....for sure.

    • @lisamariebarker6816
      @lisamariebarker6816 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      So funny, I actually started the timer!~~~~

    • @Kurt77777
      @Kurt77777 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lisamariebarker6816
      What's funny is how delusional the left is. You think you're so relevant and important and that everyone cares what you have to say. Of course President Trump isn't going to respond because he's not watching, doesn't care, and isn't as childish as Bill Maher and his viewers.

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You know it!!!

    • @mardyroux8136
      @mardyroux8136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The Donald is too busy celebrating the Republican win in the election.

    • @likebot.
      @likebot. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am. It'll be like watching a bass being reeled in. Lots of floundering around and the joke on the fish is that it's a catch-and-release sport.

  • @AuntieMamie
    @AuntieMamie ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Priceless entertainment. Hilarious. Perfect timing !

  • @TheASM196
    @TheASM196 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Brilliant writing and incredible delivery! had to listen to this twice!

  • @merytsitmaat9308
    @merytsitmaat9308 2 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    I hadn't thought about it before Bill mentioned it, and I really don't want to know, but it is weird that we haven't heard anything about it. "A cult leader who's not restrained by his wife, his options, or his morals." Priceless!

    • @user-mv6he6gl8m
      @user-mv6he6gl8m 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      And true. Who cares about the Donald and his (im)possible sex life anyway? Still kind of it intriguing...

    • @EnochByrd
      @EnochByrd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's restrained by his options because he only likes blondes

    • @pumpkineater629
      @pumpkineater629 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's Maggie Haberman

    • @bolivarneira5838
      @bolivarneira5838 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pumpkineater629 Hahaha. 🤯

    • @MrUbikkk
      @MrUbikkk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We even know about Eisenhower's and Hoover's sex lives... so, Trump should be a no-brainer.

  • @anthonydebski5814
    @anthonydebski5814 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Aahhh, Bill...SO needed a GOOD Laugh this evening!!....have a GREAT New Week...(i just KNOW you're keeping tRUMP alive for the Show!!).....gonna be an interesting year!

  • @namastenadine6690
    @namastenadine6690 2 ปีที่แล้ว +545

    This was THE EPIC troll. Great job. Can’t stop laughing. That delivery 🔥🔥🔥. Now that’s straight comedic genius. Keep it up 👍🏾

    • @reneegoughnour3988
      @reneegoughnour3988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      It was perfection (*chef's kiss)

    • @sharonsnow6295
      @sharonsnow6295 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      BILL'S WRITERS ARE BRILLIANT, I DON'T ALWAYS LIKE BILL, OR AGREE WITH HIM AS AN OLD LADY OF 80, BUT THIS WAS GREAT, I CAN ALSO ASSURE HIM, I AM NOT, "DOING tRUMP," OR HE'D NOT EVEN HAVE A MUSHEROOM SHAPED DICK, BUT A STUMP!!

    • @ealexander71
      @ealexander71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Too bad Donald can't.

  • @Bob123Max
    @Bob123Max 2 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    This has been a great day for me. This morning I heard that Ukrainian troops were in Kherson and then Bill made me laugh out loud for 10 minutes. Thanks Bill!

    • @mardyroux8136
      @mardyroux8136 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Russia made an agreement with Germany and are keeping 40% of Ukraine.

  • @xtnguyen7760
    @xtnguyen7760 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Great work Bill, keep up the good work.

  • @bobbiesgirl9921
    @bobbiesgirl9921 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Just found this. OMG! Can't stop laughing. Has to be one of the funniest "You tube" videos ever. "Not hung like it should be" I am hysterical.

  • @lindacollins903
    @lindacollins903 2 ปีที่แล้ว +514

    Bill, you outdid yourself with this one. I recorded your show last night and had to keep rewinding to catch lines I missed due to laughing so hard. We all know he watches your show and you know he wont be able to not respond in some way. Bill, you are a genius and a national treasure. Love you ♥️

    • @awb19892
      @awb19892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      he watches it by accident

    • @rondellthreadgate8092
      @rondellthreadgate8092 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I had to forward this to my kids, we all live in Australia, Bill’s best work y et !

    • @kevinbishop6582
      @kevinbishop6582 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I seriously doubt he watches this show. He’s been getting unhinged
      insults for the past 6 years. Does someone actually think he cares at this point?😂

    • @Extortionism
      @Extortionism 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@kevinbishop6582 Yes, yes Trump does care, and will demand to see this because of his vanity, and then won't understand the humor and become insulted, and will then attempt to strike back.
      Which makes this joke even better!

    • @terry9238
      @terry9238 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Even if he sees this, he may not perceive it as an insult.
      What’s the message here-that Former Guy is a playboy and must be getting some on the side? That has always been part of the public image he has cultivated!
      The possibility that he’s not up to doing all that much-which Bill finally acknowledges-is the only thing that might set him off.
      In his conclusion, Bill pulls that particular punch; but it probably comes closest to the truth.

  • @Jerbraska
    @Jerbraska 2 ปีที่แล้ว +359

    That monologue was absolutely SAVAGE

    • @c.a.savage5689
      @c.a.savage5689 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Totally. And I'm a bona fide Savage.

    • @societylost4344
      @societylost4344 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Really? Idk man whats wrong with you guys that this gets you off? I'm not a fan of Trump but I didn't laugh once. Must be just those that laugh at snl as well. One fawked sense of humor.

    • @CCR971
      @CCR971 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@societylost4344 What's funny isn't the subject (Bill couldn't care less who's blowing Dump), it's all about the troll. This will give that thin-skinned narcissistic lying traitor a stroke. Seriously Dude, we don't care if you have no sense of humour, but do you have to be a dark cloud over the rest of us? Go be boring somewhere else.

    • @societylost4344
      @societylost4344 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@JeffBondOO7 Comedy? Comedy is dead! Because of you guys! Don't you guys attack comedians when they say shit that offends you?

    • @societylost4344
      @societylost4344 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@JeffBondOO7 nobody thinks snl is funny either except people who worship celebrities.

  • @kennyhagan5781
    @kennyhagan5781 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    If I'm ever elected to any office, I will use this wonderful rant as the template for every speech I am obligated to make. Great writing, five gold stars and a question mark 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟❓

  • @kimberly2644
    @kimberly2644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +353

    As an avid fan I must say this show tonight was spectacular kudos to the writers and of course to Bill Maher 🤓

    • @808State21
      @808State21 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/7r6rG36z0Eo/w-d-xo.html

    • @colinsparman26
      @colinsparman26 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Pure genius Bill`s team surpassed itself with this episode!

    • @eliaskjrbo8142
      @eliaskjrbo8142 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I must say I HATE the audience. Clapping like seals for anything Bill says, even when it’s not an important meaningful point

    • @trill2527
      @trill2527 ปีที่แล้ว

      Whose blowing Donald trump bill Maher is

  • @kirkj101
    @kirkj101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    One of the best monologues in a long while 👍

  • @joeadams1225
    @joeadams1225 2 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    " she won't even give him hand !"
    Priceless........🎯

    • @allencohen842
      @allencohen842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If you rated this on a 1 thru 10 l would give it a 1,000. Great job Bill.

    • @a.i.8583
      @a.i.8583 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I give it a 1. Bill is far from being a comedian

    • @Asoka-great
      @Asoka-great 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@a.i.8583 😂

    • @joeadams1225
      @joeadams1225 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@a.i.8583 Heya @A I , I agree but that was a beauty, for a guy playing catch+up, eh ?

  • @COO415
    @COO415 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This piece, is one of the, if not the best ever. Flawless and seamless 😂😂😂.

  • @stephenwilliams4406
    @stephenwilliams4406 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Absolutely a Classic. "Well, maybe there is a problem"!!! You've done it again Bill.

  • @samaale7381
    @samaale7381 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    “Lindsey Graham could be involved”😂😂😂

    • @cheryledwards2217
      @cheryledwards2217 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😅😂😂that's a good one .Miss Lindsey is crying for the Donald😂

    • @andydrewlinger9301
      @andydrewlinger9301 ปีที่แล้ว

      And right after the Graham reference, Bill mentioned Hannity, too. That was a bit hard to catch with the laughter aimed at Graham.

  • @ChrisCarlos64
    @ChrisCarlos64 2 ปีที่แล้ว +650

    The Mike Pence joke... damn that was good.

    • @charleselmore4707
      @charleselmore4707 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I literally laughed out loud at that. Brilliant!

    • @jacqdanieles
      @jacqdanieles 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      That pause before the punchline was delicious

    • @vincentlevalois
      @vincentlevalois 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Masterclass in joke telling.

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wow!!!!!!!!!!😂

    • @ViFabulous
      @ViFabulous 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Bill will be hearing from Pence and Graham's lawyers/spokeman on Monday. 🤣😂🤣

  • @j10001
    @j10001 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    One of the very best New Rules of all time!! Every line, the whole build up, the delivery. Just perfect.

  • @Skankhunt42....
    @Skankhunt42.... 2 ปีที่แล้ว +225

    This was outstanding. It's not often something makes me literally laugh out loud but I was in stitches throughout this.

    • @ogionwiz
      @ogionwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are like Pavlov's dog, conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"

    • @JOHN----DOE
      @JOHN----DOE 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Mike Pence--because it's not hung right"

  • @talariswatts-el9196
    @talariswatts-el9196 2 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    One of Maher's best and funniest bits. Bill has been so serious lately its nice to see him be silly again.

  • @gregwarner3753
    @gregwarner3753 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    This is one of his best commentaries ever.

  • @janncoons7445
    @janncoons7445 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Can't unearth his bone - oh my god that one made me laugh so hard I choked!!!

  • @Free4Ever-grace
    @Free4Ever-grace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    OMG,this was the most hilarious skit I’ve heard from Bill in quite awhile. 😂

    • @kizmetgraphics
      @kizmetgraphics 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      OHH EMMM GEEEEEE !!!!! how fucking dramatic.

    • @moondancer6488
      @moondancer6488 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kizmetgraphics No, you're just bitter.

    • @johnfielding29
      @johnfielding29 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Maher a turncoat lightweight showing his lowest depths.

  • @merlinsusan1
    @merlinsusan1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Damn! Bill really threw it down with this one. I was laughing so hard.

  • @johnIZaUWL
    @johnIZaUWL 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Nice and I mean NICE to see Bill more LIGHT HEARTED here and STILL make an F’ing point that needed to be made 😂💜😂💜🤘

  • @bornwithoutprivilege2050
    @bornwithoutprivilege2050 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    The Mike Pence gag was priceless!!!!

  • @pmbluemoon
    @pmbluemoon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    This was just what I needed! Thank you Bill, I think you're awesome👍

    • @ronniet71
      @ronniet71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We all benefited from this magnificent presentation.

    • @charliewatts6895
      @charliewatts6895 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah I really needed this. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. Bill knocked it out of the park with this one.

  • @cs-ul4vf
    @cs-ul4vf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Much needed comic relief. Worthy of watching a 2nd time. Thanks Bill!

    • @cathybohl8715
      @cathybohl8715 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I would guess Margie Greene!! yuk!!!

    • @catalinacurio
      @catalinacurio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@cathybohl8715 I shuddered at the mere thought…

    • @tadhgflaherty2943
      @tadhgflaherty2943 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This makes the last two years worthwhile.

    • @robertlivingston8835
      @robertlivingston8835 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@cathybohl8715 He just can't look down lol

  • @shep68
    @shep68 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1572

    As the minutes wore on I kept wondering, why is Bill so fixated on this subject? Until I realized it’s one epic troll. 😂. Well done sir.

    • @badhollywoodscience
      @badhollywoodscience 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Several of Bill's guests have said that DJT is fucking Ivanka.

    • @Kurt77777
      @Kurt77777 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bill and all of the fascist Trump haters are just jealous that they'll never have the women, money, and fame that President Trump has had.

    • @angusdavison
      @angusdavison 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      A very funny bit, and I hope we never get answers... And let's not ask again, please!

    • @assyholey4224
      @assyholey4224 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bill wishes. he could roll naked in Trumps money.

    • @c-v-n3322
      @c-v-n3322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      An maybe The Chump will respond to this Bill's big brain move.

  • @g.jeffreypowell270
    @g.jeffreypowell270 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Judge Cannon, Kari Lake, Alina Hobba, just name a few

  • @WonLotto100M
    @WonLotto100M 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    “Why can’t we unearth his bone?” I died !!!

  • @randall.chamberlain
    @randall.chamberlain 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Perfect setup, execution and delivery. Every bit. What a genius.

  • @BMicalMusic
    @BMicalMusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    That was the knock out punch 👏👏👏

    • @Bombadil-ez9ns
      @Bombadil-ez9ns 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ugh! Please stop. That's the umpteen millionth "knock out punch". And every single previous one turned out to be celebrating too soon. I want to see real consequences for him, too. But let's wait into they actually come.

    • @funnyguy8728
      @funnyguy8728 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who wants a ruler with only 4" on it. You can't even get a sheep with that they will say Baahhhh go screw yourself, Wee hands Mc Nodick . At least it looks big in his tiny hands even though they stroke is only a half and inch movement. He couldn't molest Topo Gigo with something that small ,right Eddie.

  • @lynnrobinson8885
    @lynnrobinson8885 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    There are some things that just can’t be bought ! Bill is the best !

  • @MarcF.Nielssen
    @MarcF.Nielssen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    "The loyalty of a pet scorpion".
    Great line.

    • @emmynem6847
      @emmynem6847 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was laughing so hard 😂!

  • @barrynamon1937
    @barrynamon1937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Watched it multiple times already and I am in stitches.
    But Bill is right, we need to "unearth his bone"

  • @JohnDoe-et8th
    @JohnDoe-et8th ปีที่แล้ว +43

    "Because it's not hung like it should be" may be the greatest punch line of all time.

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah they should give that writer a big bonus.

  • @michellelida504
    @michellelida504 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Love Bill - this one, probably the 2nd best! 1st best, your last weeks "goodbye to democracy". Always spot on.

  • @maryannmacmurray4279
    @maryannmacmurray4279 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I am the age that I started watching him when he started to work. Thank you sooo much!

  • @channaw.3538
    @channaw.3538 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Well written and flawlessly executed by Bill! Absolutely Brilliant!!

  • @mattharrelson7462
    @mattharrelson7462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Bill going hard in the paint at the end. Love it

  • @lorrainemarquez6051
    @lorrainemarquez6051 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Maybe he is hiding them in his secret room in his Mar a Lago suite!

  • @spiderfreak35
    @spiderfreak35 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Lol, this was amazing. I needed a funny new rules after last week.

  • @dankmusic1212
    @dankmusic1212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +282

    I love how last week’s new rules was dark and ominous and this week it’s the exact opposite: light and hilarious 😅

    • @PogueMahone1
      @PogueMahone1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The passing of Midterms is the difference.
      Our "late-night" TV comedians (incl. Maher, Oliver, Noah, Bee, and Stewart) are the barometers/seismometers of pressure and stress in American society.
      Occasionally, they also serve as relief valves.

    • @CCR971
      @CCR971 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He was convinced the Red Wave Republicans were promising was going to happen. Now everyone has breathed a sigh of relief. I knew the polls couldn't be right. NO WAY women, especially young women, were going to just shrug at RvW and say "oh well, nothing to do here". I have a Millenial and a GenZ. I KNOW they don't answer their phones or volunteer for polls. So why did every pollster ignore these facts?

    • @jamirimaj6880
      @jamirimaj6880 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@PogueMahone1 you forgot the father of them all, Colbert lol

    • @synapse913
      @synapse913 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why it’s almost as if Liberals are manic or something…

    • @geeewiz2231
      @geeewiz2231 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I threw my napkin at him last week. I never thought there was going to be a red wave and was pissed with his comment about the dems getting their ass handed to them on a platter. You got it really wrong Maher, you should have taken Michael More more seriously. He knew, I knew, you didn't. But thanks for manning up, I forgive you.

  • @mllerref
    @mllerref 2 ปีที่แล้ว +226

    Damn... That was epic! I'm glad Bill is getting back to what he's good at. I was getting tired of hearing about how woke everyone is every week. THIS is the kind of material I love Bill Maher for.

    • @ealexander71
      @ealexander71 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Me too, I thought he was becoming a republican against wokeness, whew that was a close one.

    • @MultiUnreal
      @MultiUnreal 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe you should take the hint. Hardcore liberals are sick of woke shit.

    • @mllerref
      @mllerref 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@MultiUnreal I agree, but imo he got a lot of milage out of that topic and it was getting repetitive. Good comedy is about the element of surprise, exhibited excellently here, and the woke bit was getting a little stale.

    • @MultiUnreal
      @MultiUnreal 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@mllerref That’s because it wasn’t really a bit, he was genuinely expressing his feelings about woke culture.

    • @MultiUnreal
      @MultiUnreal 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Dean F. You’re either lying, or Bill Maher’s show it literally the only thing you watch.

  • @Jtrisna
    @Jtrisna ปีที่แล้ว +4

    😂🤣😅 Maher you make my day 🎉😂🤣😅

  • @BloodoperaBlackvomit
    @BloodoperaBlackvomit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    That was awesome. Greetings from The Netherlands.

  • @billyrock8305
    @billyrock8305 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Bill on fire tonight!🔥 🤣
    Master troll class of historic proportions in session! 😊

  • @JeffreyGillespie
    @JeffreyGillespie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +415

    This was the most lethal new rule in the history of the show. What an epic troll. Bill Maher is a genius.🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    • @dimitriousdevilboon7714
      @dimitriousdevilboon7714 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Except he doesnt write his own material.

    • @StarSystemAndromeda
      @StarSystemAndromeda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Ms. Lindsey Graham is most definitely involved!!! 😏

    • @a.i.8583
      @a.i.8583 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This wasn't a good troll at all.

    • @JeffreyGillespie
      @JeffreyGillespie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dimitriousdevilboon7714 neither does your Mom

    • @Giby86
      @Giby86 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A "genius" because he's trying to taunt the most tauntable person on the planet? You know he didn't invent trolling, right?

  • @jameslong6329
    @jameslong6329 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    ❤ Love how Bill always makes me laugh!!!!👍

  • @kuldas9299
    @kuldas9299 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    You’re always funny. Occasionally hilarious. This is genius.

  • @michaellastern361
    @michaellastern361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    This was epic. I watched back to back. That's right two times in a row. Was the funniest ever. Did Bill write this? Funny, funny, funny. Thank you!

    • @sunnyrivero7343
      @sunnyrivero7343 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Michaella Stern he always writes his ending monologues

    • @Loki_Yogi
      @Loki_Yogi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep. I had to hit re-watch immediately after watching the 1st time. This was epic and a masterclass of comedic delivery. 🙏🤣

  • @DaveFrank
    @DaveFrank 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    God Bless Bill Maher. This is the best routine he ever did, and he has delivered thousands of epic monologues)

  • @rosieleemartinez463
    @rosieleemartinez463 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love it,"WHAT IF HE'S A LOSER"👍

  • @timkeagy4094
    @timkeagy4094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    I’ve watched this many times and have laughed the same as the first time. The best New Rule to date.

    • @ogionwiz
      @ogionwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Like Pavlov's dog you were conditioned to laugh after hearing "Trump"

  • @doovalacky
    @doovalacky 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This is one of the most EPIC BURNS of all time! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @RepellentJeff
    @RepellentJeff 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Now *that* was a punchline for the ages. 😂

  • @cherrypie70
    @cherrypie70 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bill you are a national treasure

  • @williamjohnston5490
    @williamjohnston5490 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    He went from focussing on tabloid crap (like us) to making a great point about male insecurity (like a master). This is the best of Bill Maher.

  • @ariplatt8192
    @ariplatt8192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    It is kinda amazing they can keep that stuff out of the news. Amazing work by his team.

  • @TastyScotch
    @TastyScotch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +260

    Whenever someone guarentees you theres no problem, thats almost always a sign that theres a problem 😂

    • @waynedavies3185
      @waynedavies3185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Specially if extra activity is taking place in the background.

    • @C.M.30337
      @C.M.30337 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Especially T as he always says the opposite of the truth or projects

    • @RustOnWheels
      @RustOnWheels 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Move along people, there is nothing to see here!

    • @r.p.mcmurphy6623
      @r.p.mcmurphy6623 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Here's some commas for you to use in the future so you don't look like a Republican illiterate. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    • @amberturdcoloringbook1733
      @amberturdcoloringbook1733 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "Mushroom-boy" uses PROPECIA for hair baldness,
      and some of the side-effects are E.D. 🍄😂😂

  • @rdavis7350
    @rdavis7350 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That was a good one. Thanks Bill.

  • @Wendy2448
    @Wendy2448 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Absolutely brilliant! Way to go Bill!!!

  • @infidelheretic923
    @infidelheretic923 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    “All the loyalty of a pet scorpion.”
    Sums up his crew beautifully

    • @nefigushki
      @nefigushki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mind you it's the best of pet scorpions!

    • @robo5013
      @robo5013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sums him up perfectly too. You get what you deserve.

    • @infidelheretic923
      @infidelheretic923 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nefigushki
      The greatest. Other scorpions, total disasters. These scorpions…beautiful

    • @infidelheretic923
      @infidelheretic923 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@robo5013
      You can judge a man by the company he keeps.

  • @akonobryant2383
    @akonobryant2383 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I normally don't comment but Bill you are on one tonight. Love it!!