Steps To Dealing With a Controlling Person

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 354

  • @JAVIERORTEGON-g2x
    @JAVIERORTEGON-g2x หลายเดือนก่อน +176

    A CONTROLLING PERSON DOES NOT RESPECT ANYONE OR ANYTHING !

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน +33

      They don’t and that is often revealed when confronted. The confrontation will always tell the story.

    • @JamilaJibril-e8h
      @JamilaJibril-e8h 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@411Outdoorsthe delusions should be real in real life oh wow false alarm 🚨

    • @terryfelkins912
      @terryfelkins912 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      That’s totally right!

    • @cloudmountaindog8537
      @cloudmountaindog8537 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Exactly. They totally ignore or escalate with confrontation. No contact / removing yourself is the only option.

    • @JamilaJibril-e8h
      @JamilaJibril-e8h 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @cloudmountaindog8537 tired of this guy he's messing with my things 😭

  • @Peachesandpines
    @Peachesandpines หลายเดือนก่อน +305

    Controlling people manipulate. A lot of times they are very sweet or friendly, but mean behind the scenes.

    • @lisme271
      @lisme271 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I agree. Mine is a controlling narcissist and I just have to remind myself I'm a good person and try to not let it tear me down inside

    • @LogisticallyMisrepresented
      @LogisticallyMisrepresented หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That was a sweet and friendly comment 😸

    • @darkkiss7247
      @darkkiss7247 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      My ex sister in law is like this. Pays too much attention to what others are doing and not enough attention to what she's doing.

    • @matthewnow33-
      @matthewnow33- 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Amen to that...

    • @KAli-dk6on
      @KAli-dk6on 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      There's a song..." behind closed doors"...

  • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful
    @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +102

    We get, what we tolerate! Choose peace over drama, calm over chaos, & distance over disrespect.

    • @Godisgreat-7777
      @Godisgreat-7777 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Some victims of manipulators, don’t even see what’s actually happening to them. Many victims of this kind of abuse, are horribly deceived. It’s really hard to witness. Often times, there is nothing that can help the victim to see otherwise. That’s why so many abuse victims, go back repeatedly to their abuser. Thank God my mom finally had the strength to leave my dad but she ended up being as sick as him. She never got the help she needed and couldn’t get out of the victim mentality. I believe it’s ultimately what ended her life.

    • @lisaz4411
      @lisaz4411 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Same ❤. Stay strong and know your worth and move on ❤❤

    • @gok655
      @gok655 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Well said

  • @ВиталийСлонов-ч4ъ
    @ВиталийСлонов-ч4ъ 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

    All the bullies I've had to deal with in my life were freaking cowards.
    You've got to stand up to them to stop them bullying you.

    • @David-eu1ms
      @David-eu1ms 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      They might act like they are victims.

    • @gok655
      @gok655 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Yes and because you stand up to them they call you the bully projecting their bs on to the other person big red flag.

    • @Ghu649
      @Ghu649 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      You are so
      Right! When you confront the bullies , they fold.

  • @therocknrollcook
    @therocknrollcook 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +152

    Teaching young children how to be emotionally healthy is crucial. Respect

    • @Chris-dt5td
      @Chris-dt5td 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      And to set healthy boundaries

  • @CelticShadows88
    @CelticShadows88 หลายเดือนก่อน +141

    I wish someone had taught me this a long time ago. I don't like confrontation. Like you've mentioned confrontation can lead to needing someone there with you. I've allowed people to control and manipulate me. I admit I'm an easy target. If I stood up for myself, I always stood alone. No one ever had my back. I've been trying to build confidence and learn to stand up for myself. It's still a little difficult sometimes.

    • @jakejudson8578
      @jakejudson8578 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Jesus has your back!

    • @kinssher5102
      @kinssher5102 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      It very brave to be self aware. Noted there consequences for not confront & to confront. So if confront knowing where stand sounds better cos it tough either way. I found though cannot see God creator it trusting He always present. And found more practise speaking up authentically tho hard it assert what matters whether other side like it or not cos they tend just push what they want usually with no regard for people. Best wishes.

    • @ellebell9139
      @ellebell9139 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      The people who should have taught me this were the controlling/disrespectful people that desensitized me to manipulation and emotional abuse unfortunately.....

    • @terryfelkins912
      @terryfelkins912 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I do not let people control me anymore! I’m 60 years old and an adult! Sometimes it happens out of habit.

    • @safeinhisarms337
      @safeinhisarms337 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Isaiah 30:15

  • @jamesrichardson1326
    @jamesrichardson1326 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +52

    Boundaries are most important.

  • @justice8563
    @justice8563 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +72

    Having a good heart puts so many at risk for these types. I’ve been treated my whole life like a indentured servant and it’s destroyed my life.
    I’ve confronted each one of them and they become vindictive and phyically abusive. Be careful, these people have agenda’s and if they don’t get their way they will literally ruin you in everyway.

    • @LittleKitty22
      @LittleKitty22 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      Yup, every aspect of my life has been destroyed by such types. Every single aspect!

    • @ElizzzaB
      @ElizzzaB 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      Best to get away quickly and quietly.

    • @LittleKitty22
      @LittleKitty22 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      @@ElizzzaB That's what I did. No point confronting them: they just project, twist everything and become dangerous.

    • @ellymayflower1762
      @ellymayflower1762 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Yes some of these individuals will harm us!! Confrontation equals violence. Just trying to stay alive.

    • @nochka2206
      @nochka2206 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      And yet these people will never know how beautiful it is to be in a group of good hearted selfless people, to feel real trust.

  • @wileyann9449
    @wileyann9449 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +77

    I went to take care of my grandmother and it was a total disaster. Had quit my job and drove over 1000 miles to get there, had to make unreimbursed car repairs (was told not to worry about and I would get help paying for it. Ended up having to rebuild engine once there) didn’t really know her very well or that side of the family very well but I ended up learning the hard way. In the end, I had been caring for her 24/7 no days off, waiting also on her pets who needed 3 different types of food and those bowls full, which included constantly boiling chicken for 6 months in a isolated area 45 minutes from grocery stores ect, Dog not potty trained and hiked leg all over the house. Didn’t matter how much I took him on walks or outside at 2 and 3 am not allowed to do anything else about it. Controlling aunt constantly texting and calling giving orders when she want there giving orders. Smell in house overwhelming no matter how many times I cleaned the carpet. Mother had control of my finances and sided with her sister. It gets worse. How I got out? Walked away from 10k with no where to go or a job. Just packed up car and left my aunt there with a caregiver once one arrived. They didn’t think I would do that. Cut them off completely and don’t regret it.

    • @pathader4839
      @pathader4839 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      Good for you it wasn't worth it anyway all the work and aggravation. Can take a toll on your health and you can end up with cancer from all the aggravation. The money isn't everything. Well I bet they're missing you now. Some people are just unappreciative.

    • @TaxingIsThieving
      @TaxingIsThieving 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Jesus saves! Please read Revelation as we are in the last days.

    • @deylynn6280
      @deylynn6280 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      You deserve respect. I hope you find people that value your giving heart.

    • @Deb1650
      @Deb1650 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      That side of your family are "users". Glad you left. Hope grandma is ok.

    • @gnelson6200
      @gnelson6200 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      You rock

  • @FrankOlivo-k3r
    @FrankOlivo-k3r หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    Setting boundaries saves friendships, relationships, and creates a better work environment…

    • @whiteyfisk9769
      @whiteyfisk9769 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Setting healthy boundaries at work???? Thats just unamerican
      haha

  • @Able-Man
    @Able-Man หลายเดือนก่อน +152

    Yup, life is too short, to be "dealing with pretend friends"...

    • @beeu9841
      @beeu9841 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Yup

    • @wittywoo
      @wittywoo 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

      After being controlled all of my 66 years. My mother died that was number 1 out of the way. I have now refined my "friends". I do not have many "friends" now. I feel great having got rid of these people.

    • @adamhuffman3354
      @adamhuffman3354 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      So true. It seems kinda like the less “Friends “ there are the better things go.

    • @Woketilyerbroke
      @Woketilyerbroke 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@wittywooI can’t wait I’m 44 and. She won’t give me a dime and I’m suffering. I can’t wait until the funeral

  • @AvaMarieDianaFriedrich-y5b
    @AvaMarieDianaFriedrich-y5b 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +57

    This came in perfect timing. Abused by my family my whole life. Make a stand or you will be controlled your whole life. That’s the truth. The personality is everywhere.

  • @pixiepikaahu3140
    @pixiepikaahu3140 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    There is a time for everything, pick your time...I believe we get depressed because our voices are not heard ❤

  • @beeu9841
    @beeu9841 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +24

    Young man, you are so right.
    I'm 65, and I want to spend the rest of my lift in peace.
    Peace from within and out.
    #balance✌️ ☮️

  • @TheBigdog868
    @TheBigdog868 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    After i called them out, the person started pretending I didn't exist, thinking that would hurt me. Honestly, I quite enjoy the peace their absence brings.
    On a deeper level, I have pity for these kinds of people. They're so weak! Playing their stupid games has to be exhausting. I hope they find something better to do with their short time here. I know I have.

    • @lisaz4411
      @lisaz4411 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      These people are sick and messed up in the head. They always ignore you when confronted

    • @lisaz4411
      @lisaz4411 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      They always ignore when confronted as they are messed up in the head

  • @fgallogallo7
    @fgallogallo7 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    I learned early in life about narcissist and controlling people. I found out the only way to deal with them is if you could don’t even get to know them, but if you have to get rid of them at all cost and don’t look back, I set boundaries in life and I’ve stuck with them. In my retirement years with my wife we pretty much just stay on our Homestead and are off grid cabin with the jobs we had we had enough drama good advice. You’re a very inspirational and knowledgeable person. Thank you for putting this out. A lot of people need this.

    • @Kharkovkid
      @Kharkovkid หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      From your mouth to God's ears...

    • @aubreyleonae4108
      @aubreyleonae4108 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Oh Yes !

    • @bradmcewen
      @bradmcewen 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Well said. Being silent gives them the paranoia jitters...

    • @JamilaJibril-e8h
      @JamilaJibril-e8h 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@bradmcewenimagine a mentally ill kid telling you your harmless cause simply you got 100 options to put them in jail and you ignored it .... Too much time to waste

  • @heleneholm7059
    @heleneholm7059 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    I had a super controlling, military style, narcissistic father. I’m just now at 50 really learning to set boundaries ! It is VERY empowering ! First make your boundaries clear to yourself -an then say to the other: I don’t want, I don’t need, I do not accept and so on. Don’t attack the other unless you like a fight -just say what YOU don’t tolerate anymore-and then stick to it over time. But controlling people are insecure deep down, and sometimes they can’t change, so we also have to prepare to remove ourselves completely if necessary. Good luck with your boundaries everyone ! 💪🏼💚🔥🐲😊

    • @sugarsnap1000
      @sugarsnap1000 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@heleneholm7059 great example as so many including me thought it best to express the actual boundary. The methodology you explained is the way.

  • @bettywinn8296
    @bettywinn8296 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    Yep. I am a survivor of DV. Planned my escape and did successfully. Went to a women's shelter & never looked back...I received great counseling while being in the shelter for two weeks then moved into a Women in Transition house for a year. Then got my own apartment. LOTS of counseling. There is help from YWCA's or from DV Shelters. Got to get out. All abuse "escalates!" It never gets better. Just sayin.

    • @Christine-j7b
      @Christine-j7b 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Well done and God speed! I worked as a support worker in DV shelter long after my own experience of domestic abuse.

  • @sandycarlyonroubal4898
    @sandycarlyonroubal4898 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I have grown up through using Al-anon to wake up from the denial. I have spent the last 13 years making small changes. Eventually, these changes have led to leaving systems and individuals who were uncomfortable with my changes. The people around me now are gold. My quality of life is filled with calm, ease, peace. Difficult times are handled with less stress. Life is good.

  • @jackblack3886
    @jackblack3886 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    Excellent topic! Few people teach this necessary skill in today's society. My dad taught me how to respect myself first. He spoke seldom but his quiet words were full of truth.

  • @susanleonard1621
    @susanleonard1621 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

    This should be taught in schools beginning in elementary through high school.

    • @rachelr8837
      @rachelr8837 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Yes to keep bullies away.

    • @kathypileggi7650
      @kathypileggi7650 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      never allow schools to teach FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES in your child ……THAT’S a PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY……..those government schools ruined children…..you all want America to stand tall again …..TAKE THE POWER BACK …..START WITH THE CHILDREN

    • @whiteyfisk9769
      @whiteyfisk9769 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Lol Thats the last thing the government wants

    • @andjelavuckovic8103
      @andjelavuckovic8103 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      This should be taught by parents. People tend to throw responsibility and blame on school for something the parents should've taught kids.

  • @Thomas116-m2n
    @Thomas116-m2n 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    For me, it started with learning to say "NO." You can do it politely but it's good to do it decisively and firmly. It can be an answer to a question or an expectation. People give you a script to read and see you as the actor in that role. Choose not to accept it if it doesn't fit you. They want you to play the part of the victim/the bullied. Don't play that role.

    • @jgfreer8322
      @jgfreer8322 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Try to remember that “No.” is a complete sentence - it doesn’t have to be aggressive, just firm or decisive. Also don’t be drawn into trying to explain or justify your decision - you have your reasons, stand by them and don’t elaborate because that’s when all stops are pulled to control & manipulate you. That’s been in my experience, anyway..

    • @FlamingCockatiel
      @FlamingCockatiel 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@jgfreer8322 I want to agree with you, but so often I have been told that I need to be tactful, even if it's not my desire. Do you have advice?

    • @jgfreer8322
      @jgfreer8322 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@FlamingCockatiel It can be very difficult but often people who tell you that are saying it to manipulate you and make you doubt yourself and your decision. The only advice I can offer is to maybe try regulating your tone of voice. “No” doesn’t have to sound angry or rude - if you say it friendly but firmly .. maybe with a smile in your voice .. and if they still push you, be patient don’t explain or get defensive, but stick to a firm but gently smiling “No.” If they insist on your reasons, smilingly ask them why it’s so important that they know? You have your reasons, your decision is No - and that is good enough. “Why”
      Is no one’s business but yours. The more you practise, the better you’ll get, have faith in yourself, it will get easier 💐

  • @ladyb7327
    @ladyb7327 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Since Birth I've Literally Lived
    With Toxic People
    My.Entire.Literal.Life...
    To.This.Day. I Choose Too
    LIVE In LOVE
    & LIVE ALIVE
    With LOVE
    & Now I Choose
    To LIVE
    &LOVE
    &ALONE
    &PEACE
    &JOY
    &From
    AFar
    💔
    🩸
    💃🏼
    ✝️

  • @rpm6391
    @rpm6391 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    A few things have been key for me: BOUNDARIES! Stand strong in them. Not caring what others may think. Those who know the real you and the real them should be able to navigate what's real. You don't need to J.A.D.E.: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. I'll explain my position once, and then I'm done. After once, they get referred back to previous without re-elaboration.

  • @KAli-dk6on
    @KAli-dk6on 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    WOW, this was well said! It is true, the fear is in not knowing how the other person will react. I'm a big non confrontational person. But, this was so clear for me, thank you.

  • @thomasodell5562
    @thomasodell5562 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I agree with that message BIG time, mental abuse was enormous,

  • @johnblackwood1337
    @johnblackwood1337 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    The best thing to do when you're dealing with a controlling individual is to walk away and never look back.
    It's a sad thing to say, but too many people in this world can't make decisions for themselves, and they'll follow anyone. Controlling people feed on those types of people, but I'm not one of those.
    I don't care to control or to lead anyone, but I sure do wish there were a lot more people in the world with common sense. It's a fruit that barely grows on any trees these days. It's rare!

    • @aubreyleonae4108
      @aubreyleonae4108 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Indeed . . .

    • @HISIAM888RUHIS888
      @HISIAM888RUHIS888 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Very Well Said!!👍👍🤗🙌🙌🙏🙏🥰

  • @TracyNewton-q3b
    @TracyNewton-q3b 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Thanks for this. I support an elderly man. As a friend. I wasn't on shift, but the son gets angry when I don't answer my phone, naturally if i on shift. So I just said don't get angry if I don't answer my phone it's in the bottom of my bag. As he just turned up, normally he's working I was visiting his dad. Well, all hell broke out!!!! I was met with, are you in a very sensitive mood today?? And he go so shout and angry, I just said, this is pointless and let them stew. He shouted in front of another person, his best friend that day who I was with. So basically he showed his true colours and god gave me a healthy warning😮😊👍

    • @ElizzzaB
      @ElizzzaB 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      They use anger as a weapon of control.....hoping you cave I to them.

  • @hannahgrazzini
    @hannahgrazzini 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    It’s not like she’s even loves me, she’s put my life at risk and my poor puppies and I are suffering.

  • @Ted-NJ
    @Ted-NJ หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    God used your algorithm to find me so that I can heal myself. I am in therapy for trauma I have been purging my life of poisonous abusive relationships.

    • @aubreyleonae4108
      @aubreyleonae4108 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      After many years of intense therapy I can say hang in there, you can heal. I blamed myself for the failures and evil of others. It is a lie, it is not your fault. I learned to forgive myself and realize I could only do the best I could do at the time and that is well enough. I don't know if that helps ...

    • @Ted-NJ
      @Ted-NJ 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@aubreyleonae4108 I have been in relationships with a narcissist and a sociopath. And I have a teenage daughter with one of them.

    • @juliefall2892
      @juliefall2892 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Boundaries can be , who you spend time with , how long you spend time with them , what you spend your money on, how long you are on a phone call, not justifying yourself to people, , who you allow into your home, who you tell personal things to. Practise observing and just listening to people and not giving your personal info away. Crappy childhood fairy is a good channel , I wish you all the best.

    • @Ted-NJ
      @Ted-NJ 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@juliefall2892 In all these toxic situations and especially in dealing with my daughter's mother...now I understand why everyone recommends No Contact. Any contact with a narcissist will be an opportunity for them to manipulate you. I am so traumatized and hypervigilant that I refuse to open my ex's emails and her messages. I refuse to engage any communications with her... unless God forbid there is an emergency for our daughter.

  • @chrishynes6091
    @chrishynes6091 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    I really don't take crap anymore since I realized that God is the only one in charge.

  • @chucknaill
    @chucknaill หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    As always, thank you for being willing to handle the complex and difficult life challenges. My experiences have been that if you do confront someone, even with gentle honesty, they may never get over it. There is a short-term loss and disappointment for having the ending of a relationship, but in the long run, your life will be improved. Perhaps later reconciliation can occur that is healthier for everyone involved. Sometimes practicing the discipline of not having the last word is beneficial. However, in all of this try to end it quickly. As my grandfather used to say, "the more you stir in horse manure the worse it stinks".

  • @AtheisticSatanist
    @AtheisticSatanist 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

    Narcissistic Personality Disorder Is What Drives People To Control Others
    And Is Also The Core Root Of Bullying

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  25 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Well said!

    • @BAnn123-v2s
      @BAnn123-v2s 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Fear, chronic insecurity, low self-esteem are roots

    • @BerylForrest
      @BerylForrest 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Oh yes! I have a horrible one in my life but the roof over my head can be at risk. I have learnt to shut it down when I have to, there's only so much crap anyone can take. Its like dealing with an out of control toddler. When you do confront it, typical bully runs away but then starts harassing other people to come & harass me. I have surgery coming up and for the 1st time, I've blocked the narcissist on my phone, my peace is my self care.

    • @lisaz4411
      @lisaz4411 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      True

  • @happyjack-1
    @happyjack-1 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    So good to hear a straight talking man. I lost my dad when I was 21. He would have talked like you. How I could have avoided so much toxicity in my life had he'd been there for me. You feel like my second dad when listening to you
    Hope you do more videos for women to protect themselves from predators both verbally and physically. From Jackie, England.

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  28 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Cheers! I surely will

  • @graylor1
    @graylor1 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Thank you for addressing one of those rarely addressed survival topics. I think of it as verbal jujitsu. I didn't enjoy learning those skills, but I'm glad that I did. In an emergency, you want even-tempered people around you, whether they are in your group or just people you interact with briefly, and the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

  • @roadking681
    @roadking681 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    People like that need to be told to stay away, and if they come back around you need to notify the authorities that way it's on paper and there's been a police report made that you asked the person to stay away, that way if they come back and try to do harm and you defend yourself it's been documented. That's how you deal with a person like that no if ands or buts. And sometimes it can be your own family. Good video thanks for sharing.

    • @LittleKitty22
      @LittleKitty22 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That doesn't work here in the UK when the abuser is one of the protected race. I tried. It was me that got arrested... more than once, and charged with the very crimes the abusers had committed against me (grape, false imprisonment, abduction, torture, attempted murder etc). I am a severely disabled girl, I cannot cope with any more arrests. They are worse than the grapes!!!

  • @beautypablotamarini7315
    @beautypablotamarini7315 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Not confront. But doing surprises...smt small, out of routine...this makes them confused and/or angry. That's how I open them!

  • @Prodrig817
    @Prodrig817 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Controlling behavior of parents. Exposure to the controlling behavior of others begins in younger years.
    Teaching our children to love themselves is a good defense against those that try to control them. It’s a good idea to provide guidance and tools, so that the person’s self esteem is aware of the danger of a controlling person

  • @CORINNATORRES-ut4ug
    @CORINNATORRES-ut4ug 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you for your realistic views and advice. I am being stalked, harassed and my property has been sneakily vandalized by a controlling narcissistic/psychopathic neighbor and I absolutely appreciate your knowledge and advice. Standing my ground. Thank you!

  • @Havenatthelittleoaks
    @Havenatthelittleoaks 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Value you own boundaries, values and opinions and take steps to defending that❤️.
    Confrontation is ok. It's ok to get help.
    Something I learned from this....
    Thanks, listening to this makes it seem like it doesn't have to be a big deal to be honest ❤️.

  • @bdcochran01
    @bdcochran01 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    1. I read the good comments. We all probably have controlling people in our families. Like other people have suggested, you just drop them out of your plans/family get-togethers. Just nod your head if you have to meet them in a family situation.
    2. We all have warring neighbors. I am the only one who gets along with his neighbors Read on and learn how.
    3. Understand that everyone thinks he is unappreciated in this world. Most people build up resentments. I decided that doing that was a waste of energy.
    No one is actually interested in your opinions, difficulties at work, family, accomplishments, experiences. They are self absorbed. So, I inquire about the other guy's opinion, family, accomplishments, experiences, education and goals. That translates into the person liking me. So, I don't volunteer information about myself.
    With disagreeable people, contrarians (I may not always be right, but I am never wrong), find something pleasant to make a comment about -like the disagreeable person's grandchildren - and thank God repeatedly that you are not married to him or her.

    • @juliemcdonald7210
      @juliemcdonald7210 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I used to do this too, be into everyone else’s lives and it completely burnt me out and made other people take my energy. When I changed this a lot of people didn’t like it and wouldn’t let me get away with not being into hearing about their lives. Watch out

  • @Kay-Rayzie
    @Kay-Rayzie หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    It was consciously recognising that the control was even occuring that I wasted the most time on. Very much the frog in boiling water analogy.
    I'm so grateful for advice like yours being available nowadays to guide people into healthy relationships with themselves and others. Thank you 😊🙏🏼

  • @elguapo2831
    @elguapo2831 หลายเดือนก่อน +54

    Proverbs 21:19
    “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

    • @letthereberight
      @letthereberight หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Funny you assumed it was a woman!!! LOL

    • @Bucephalus84
      @Bucephalus84 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@letthereberightprob is

    • @danae-rain3019
      @danae-rain3019 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Us women wish you would go into the wilderness and leave us alone.

    • @aubreyleonae4108
      @aubreyleonae4108 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Completely insane is really bad too.

    • @stonedoliveees
      @stonedoliveees 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ​@@aubreyleonae4108perhaps her words landed on deaf ears.....

  • @kavannahlight5378
    @kavannahlight5378 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    This is such an important topic, great timing before the holidays as well. I bet you are such a great Dad!

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you!

  • @artawhirler
    @artawhirler หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Excellent video as always! Thanks!

  • @mikel917
    @mikel917 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Dude. Thank you. Your channel is great. More about healthy coping skills than anything else. Keep up the good work

  • @MyNeurodiverseLife
    @MyNeurodiverseLife 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Thank you this was very helpful. Sometimes I feel like people like me but they don't respect me. Then some people just want to control me like their brain is trying to move my body. Sometimes it takes me 4 or 5 attempts to even get a complete thought out without being cut off or my thoughts being immediately rejected. I don't like confrontation but sometimes confrontation is necessary. I also have trouble telling who is my boss and who just is just telling me what to do with no authority. I've ended up taking orders in a work situation from someone who I'm in charge of and even ended up doing things that they were being paid to do. I also have a friend that we always end up doing the things he wants to do and never what I want to do. We eat where he wants and everything every time. Then when we go to his house he makes me take off my shoes and stands in the doorway blocking my entrance so I end up having to stand in his porch which he never sweeps so I get dirt and leaves all over my socks. Then after he does that he says, "You could have done that right inside the door." Then he gaslights me about every half an hour by saying, "Are you okay?" I'm like, "Uh yeah fine." To which he responds, "Oh okay. Just checking because you looked like someting wasn't okay. You got quiet." As if every second that were together needs to be filled with chatter. I can hang out with someone without talking constantly. Like he's watching my every move and trying to put a head trip on me. At least that's how it makes me feel. I like the dude but it bugs the hell out of me.

  • @denawolf5884
    @denawolf5884 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    when i expressed my feelings and tried to share what was painful or uncomfortable, it would start another cycle of anger, accusations & threats. finally i packed up and walked away leaving behind my possessions and nowhere to go. walking away allowed me to breath again and BE my authentic self. ☮️💙🙏🏼💫

  • @Referee006
    @Referee006 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thanks, guy. Great information from a real, down-to-earth man.

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I appreciate that!

  • @lukebrady3728
    @lukebrady3728 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Wise words,there, Daniel.
    The reason why I left an unhappy marriage years ago.
    Still dig your accent, mate.
    Greetings and blessings from Melbourne, Australia.

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Thanks my friend!

  • @orangewarm1
    @orangewarm1 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Damn son, the variety and depth of your advice is excellent. Respect from Oxford in the UK.

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      🫡 thank you!

    • @LogisticallyMisrepresented
      @LogisticallyMisrepresented หลายเดือนก่อน

      He's not just another pretty face on the Internet, @@orangewarm1 😺

  • @belleyupable
    @belleyupable 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Some folks are flat emotionally immature and never got passed the important value of morals. Be the one that cares enough to show them the difference but above all, never allow a toxic person to invade your personal peace. ✌️

  • @damianlopez7630
    @damianlopez7630 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thank You Sir 🙏❤🤝

  • @GlobalEnglishSupernaturals
    @GlobalEnglishSupernaturals หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    EXACTLY! what I was worry about! THANK YOU ❤

  • @David-ed4mk
    @David-ed4mk หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    The best way to deal with controlling people as to ignore them

    • @JamilaJibril-e8h
      @JamilaJibril-e8h 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      We did he's watching all over my family and keeps going on nonsense no one has time for it like he's mentally unstable ... Facing people is easy tell the truth face up

  • @TulindaCalitz
    @TulindaCalitz วันที่ผ่านมา

    Yeah it's gradual. If I don't love being around someone i don't spend time around them.
    I'm hoping to have friends again one day but this is my i prefer being alone era.
    ✨🌱💖🙏

  • @donnamoody9873
    @donnamoody9873 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Such great information!

  • @michelledirelle
    @michelledirelle 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Just knowing the exact rights and law in a situation and acting accordingly.
    But I understand: sometimes tricky with loved ones, but that isn't love when people don't grow out of their fears slowly but surely.
    Noone should carry too much for a too long time.
    Blessings ✨️

  • @rintintinman9223
    @rintintinman9223 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Love the content here.. the combative situations in life are 98%,, like this. The last 2% are maybe physical, (some would be only a lot of yelling).

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Thank you!

  • @Woketilyerbroke
    @Woketilyerbroke 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’m being medically manipulated in Canada just had my surgery canceled I desperately need for asking too many question. I’m disabled and being abused and the police tell me I’m lucky I’m not out in the snow . THIS IS A CRIME ABD THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO

  • @alanfreeman7374
    @alanfreeman7374 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    WOW! I just dealt with this type situation with a "friend" of mine a couple weeks ago. He's like a 🌋 volcano. About every 2 or 3 yrs he has an eruption. 😅😅. When he does he has a tendency to get mad over nothing. I just stopped talking to him. I figure that's the best way to deal with it. The end.

  • @OskinsBob
    @OskinsBob 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    LOVE THESE SURVIVAL TALKS THAT YOU DO..I TOTALLY AGREE WITH ALL U SAY.PROPERS 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿💎

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Awesome! Thank you

  • @barrybaldwin5535
    @barrybaldwin5535 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Excellent topic & talking points. At 74, I've known for most of my Adult life that I'm a caregiver in my relationships, meaning that I'm a giver not a taker. In my career, I had to take Manager Profiling testing on the 21 Manager traits most related to the job. I won't elaborate on them, but I found that my compromise, collaboration & punishment were my weakest scores, meaning that I had to work on boosting the points in those categories to please my CEO & business owner. After two failed marriages, one 25 years & one 19 years, I finally decided that I was done being controlled & manipulated & walked away from the situations, even though I had to excel in my career to be successful & effective as a Manager. Keep up the good content.

  • @OskinsBob
    @OskinsBob 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY THAT'S HOW I KNOW U SPOT ON. I'M SURE U GONNA HELP THOSE THAT HEAR YA.GOD BLESS YA

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You as well!

  • @esperansaloughran693
    @esperansaloughran693 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    You are talking about my husband, still angry because many yrs ago, i had to move to find a job, he coped with it, but now i have been home
    For 9 yrs, and i found out why he is always angry, in anger he told me that i left him to go to Baltimore, I was working as a teacher, now, he is angry. Both of us coped when i had to leave to go to work. We would meet up in baltimore or home. Things were fine until now? For 9 yrs i have finally found out that he has harbored hate in his heart. So, i told him it was time for him to go live in the farm house which we bought together but never fixed nor did he want me to fix it. Now, i realize he is a controlling, person. You described him, perfectly. Thankyou, for your video. I have done the right thing.❤

  • @murmulefy
    @murmulefy 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Best advice! Thank you!

  • @kerrygould1538
    @kerrygould1538 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love your life skills advice ❤love from Australia 🇦🇺

    • @411Outdoors
      @411Outdoors  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Much appreciated!

  • @brnrecluse2946
    @brnrecluse2946 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Great video, dude.

  • @Daily_Bread84
    @Daily_Bread84 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    When you say confrontation You are on point. When I disagree or as you say confront this person the response I get is 1. Agree tp disagree "is a copt out way of not listening" or 2. "you're so difficult to talk to. I don't get confrontation from anyone else I talk to and I deal with a lot of people everyday." (Which is not actually true as I have seen and heard the confrontations with others).

  • @Niueniue88
    @Niueniue88 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you so much for your helpful advice. It's gonna help a lot of people 💕

  • @danielroberto9183-w8j
    @danielroberto9183-w8j 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Very good topic and advise. Thank you!

  • @lynandrews4160
    @lynandrews4160 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    When confronted, some controlling people will simply leave the relationship to look for another relationship where they have control.

  • @amiradeshon5501
    @amiradeshon5501 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thanks for this very Important subject.

  • @chadbryson4252
    @chadbryson4252 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    "verbal judo" is extremely good skill to have.

  • @douglascartlidge4591
    @douglascartlidge4591 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Well said. Thank you.

  • @CarrieChapman-n2x
    @CarrieChapman-n2x 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Grew up in toxic family dynamic, floating down the river of denial. Never taught healthy boundaries. Narcissist Mother who emeshed her troubles on me, including her dissatisfaction with her marriage? I'm a kid? Father was passive/aggressive. I ended up with low self esteem, guilt, shame, codependency because I carried all the emotional shame of the family and did not want conflict because when my parents fought, it was always, "Well if you don't like it, leave", which brought fear of abandonment.

    • @PEGGYKEEHN
      @PEGGYKEEHN 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I was ALWAYS told that all their arguments was BECAUSE of ME!! I spent all my adult life trying to fix them and play a referee! When my mother was ill and dying all of a sudden she needed me. I took care of her until she passed but I've been NO CONTACT since then with the rest of the family! I've been reborn.

  • @lucilleengbert4197
    @lucilleengbert4197 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This is so complete and sound!! Thank You! ❤

  • @pharaohsmagician8329
    @pharaohsmagician8329 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great video! I greatly appreciate your channel and the dialogue it creates in the comments and in my mind, it really helps me out and helps better my life. Heres my thoughts on this.
    The only real change is possible through physical strength and the ability to be violent. Stop listening to all this forgive and mercy crap. Its weakness. Dont be a menace to innocents, but you can not forgive and shy from violence. Yes walk away first but the whole way to prevent this situation getting to that point, is by going to the Gym and becoming Strong and learning martial arts so you can be confident in your physical ability. Thats the ONLY way youre gonna feel strong enough to handle the Confrontation needed to defend yourself. How are you going to sit here having the exact same physical life, and make no physical changes, and expect others to treat you better? You cant do the same physical life and only make mental change. This is PHYSICAL and only defined by Confrontation. If youre afraid of Violence, you have already lost. They only think youre a weak easy victim because you lack the strength. Im not saying use violence first always, but if you hesitate to use it when disrespected then youre letting yourself be controlled. Violence NEEDS to be the natural logical conclusion of Confrontation. Hesitation to use violence is why youre seen as a victim. If you dont have the muscle to use violence you need to go to the gym and take martial arts for 1 year so you can. Thats why we tell people being bullied that walking away doesn't work its seen as weakness. Yeah if you can cut the person off sure. But many times you are required to see that person and like any bully victims know, violence is the only way. Even if youll never be strong enough to beat up a 6 foot muscle hunk, the confidence that you get from being prepared morally mentally and physically to use violence will STOP lots of evil people from even trying to make you a victim. Violence is not bad. Violence is necessary. Better than being a adult victim. The weak people who repeatedly forgive are the eternal victims and live far worse lives with little achievement. You need courage to handle the risks and overcome fear to live a good life. An okay life where you have no self respect or respect from others is not good enough. Forgiveness is only good when you dont keep on doing it and show the consequences for people who dont respect your forgiveness. Thats inherent in the whole process, forgiveness wouldnt even make sense otherwise if refusing to forgive wasnt an option. That other thing, the opposite of forgiveness, needs to be an option or it's not taken seriously and the abuse continues. The weak hand is clean, the hand of mercy is stained with dried blood. People who teach to always only forgive and forget and never get revenge are the ones who create repeat victims and ensure future generational trauma.

  • @DanasGardenRetreat
    @DanasGardenRetreat 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It’s hard when you are a strong person and realize that people maybe haven’t always treated you the best …

  • @kathypileggi7650
    @kathypileggi7650 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    RESPECT YOURSELF FIRST …………HAVE PERIMETERS ….HAVE COURGE IN YOUR RESPONSE TO THEM

  • @user-yo9oe5zd1m
    @user-yo9oe5zd1m 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    ❤ Perfect timing ❤ thank you so much for this video, Sir ❤

  • @janets-c7r
    @janets-c7r 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very wise information! I agree on all you said...
    A person really has to examine each situation they are dealing with. Make a plan to change. Fear is the bottom line.

  • @ladywindrush5464
    @ladywindrush5464 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you Sir wish i heard this years ago....better late than never.🙏

  • @effu9375
    @effu9375 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Brother....been there. My ex knew how to manipulate me. I stopped hanging out with my friends and they stopped calling for 4 years. I did everything for her...almost cost me my military career because she had trust issues. Everything she blamed me for....she was doing. I had....came to the point where my self esteem was at an all time low and didn't know how to love myself....so I finally broke up with her. I kepted blaming myself and then I realized It wasn't me the whole damn time.
    WV4GAA OEF 12 YR US Army Veteran....stay strong Gents.

  • @eribertoacedo9505
    @eribertoacedo9505 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I agree with you. I’ve dealt with a lot of people that were supposed to be friends but they weren’t. They smile at you turned out to be backstabbers. Talk crap about you why? I believe they’re jealous of who you are and what you’re about so my advice if anyone reads thischoose your friend wisely or be happy being a loner for a while from San Diego. 2:59

  • @jimscallen6452
    @jimscallen6452 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great points

  • @esperansaloughran693
    @esperansaloughran693 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I had to listen to your video a second time. You speak the truth.

  • @algoneby
    @algoneby หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I gave up on longtime friends, for being taken for granted. Hard Decision. P.S. Good Video !

  • @bettywinn8296
    @bettywinn8296 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Love ♥️ this advice.

  • @deylynn6280
    @deylynn6280 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I feel encouraged by your video. You out-lined the steps to take.

  • @DebraMooney-y3n
    @DebraMooney-y3n 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you for this video.

  • @Carl-x8y3c
    @Carl-x8y3c 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I met a person recently, and they gave me their phone number. I think this person is a controller. I think that they want to tell me how to live my life. I won't be contacting them. It's best for me to avoid this person. I follow my good intuition . I go with my gut feelings.

  • @icgreener
    @icgreener 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great advice! ❤️

  • @LisaY4yeshua
    @LisaY4yeshua 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    One of the best vodeos ever

  • @BrydeliCorven
    @BrydeliCorven 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you.

  • @Kim-kw7fo
    @Kim-kw7fo 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I'm a quiet person. I chose distance but had to leave a child aswell as the child was being used as a pawn. Truly heartbreaking. Some people have nolimits.

  • @beeu9841
    @beeu9841 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I'm learning how to step back more, think about my response, or lack thereof of.
    It may have a new perspective of a given day. Not let people pressure me. Best response is, that's interesting. I'll think about that. Or if they keep going on, and on, walk away. Thank you for sharing that again 😊bye, bye

  • @heatherheron-speirs8727
    @heatherheron-speirs8727 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    A very clear concise sensible and realistic summation of this topic. Valuable.

  • @sugarsnap1000
    @sugarsnap1000 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Problem is, in a relationship it’s difficult to see and ‘creeps’ in and ramps up, when you realize it can take a while to find the way out.

  • @nochka2206
    @nochka2206 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I would also say that things can get worse before they get better, when you put up a boundary they may push around it to test it, so keep holding out, pushy people are hard work they are used to getting their own way .