@@alfredpaquin3563 that’s hilarious for me, because I caught my former sister on security cam, stealing my mail. She claimed it wasn’t her, but the police didn’t believe her. Moral is, of course, “If you weren’t in the picture, you wouldn’t have gotten framed.”🤣🤣🤣
@privateprivate8366 YOU ARE NOT LYING!! 😬 It makes u start 2 become c🥶ld towards others 2 protect yourself, because u can't just be a normal civilized respectful decent human being 2 regular everyday people anymore it really seems😮💨
Im a native New Yorker. My mom taught me to walk with purpose, dont get distracted, and keep your head on a swivel. It works. You can spot trouble in time to avoid it.
My Mom always said keep your doors locked… Car, house etc. Sometimes when I talk to her on the phone she says… Are your doors locked! I’ve been married since I was 18, and 60 yrs. old now, she still says it!
Same. But I grew up in London. Walk fast and look as if you know where you’re going. Also look slightly pissed off but not too much. Don’t go round smiling. Change train carriages if you get a bad vibe about someone.
I will never forget an experience i had years ago. I was in a mall parking lot, daytime, walking to my car. Got in my car, and started the engine. I looked to my left, and saw a man walking guickly toward my car. He was a matter of four feet away from my car. I could hear him say, i'm not going to hurt you. My immediate reaction was, you're dam right, you're not going to hurt me. My foot was on that gas peddle, all the way to the floor. My tires screeched, and i flew passed him like a bat out of you know where. That was 25 yrs ago, and when i think of it now, i am glad i still have a heightened sense of fight or flight.
U.S. Army combat veteran here. The most important lesson I brought back from my military service was to always be “situationally aware” of one’s surroundings at all times!!! Go Army!!
My dad was seconded to British Special Ops in WWII. He would teach us to take care of ourselves when we were children, we were learning without our even knowing it. He would say if you fall off something "hit the ground rolling". I was thrown from a large stallion in my teens when the rein dropped as the person handing me the rein dropped it while handing it to me. The horse stepped forward as it dropped and yanked it's own head down and got a fright! It reared up and threw me to the ground in a second. I was airborne and in my head I was saying HIT THE GROUND ROLLING. I could hear my sister screaming on the other side of the horse as I was rolling. The horse was coming down on the spot I had landed and from where she stood she could not see me rolling and thought she was watching me being killed by the horse. You are never too cool for school. My dad also said that if anyone ever puts their hands on you and tries to move you DROP to the ground and become a ball. The things the UHNW people pay a lot of money for the children to be taught.
I totally deficiate in this category. Plus I do trust to a fault. I do have envy in you. My father was too tall to fly in the Air Force. I thought maybe I could follow in his steps. I guess I talked myself out of it because of my grades. I have bad life habits. I'm glad that I maintain employment.
But i like wearing the bling i take from people..,, you means to tell me some other mofo going to take my nearly acquired gold savings. damn it man i knew i should have stayed in school and become a fancy lawyer, they always stealing a brothers bling for bonds and shit,.... and yes I am trolling hard.
When I was a teen, I missed my train from Milwaukee to Chicago to visit my older sister. I called her, said I was at the bus station. Slhe told me to stand straight and tall, to walk with confidence, speak to no one and get on that bus. The station is filled with scary people. I learned a lot that day & no one bothered me.
This^ 1981. When I was fourteen, I went cross country on the bus from Utah to Georgia to live with my father. Waiting for my connecting bus in St Louis, I was sitting on a bench, reading a book when I heard someone going, "Pssst... Pssst...". I looked up to see some dude standing by the men's restroom, looking at me. He gestured for me to come over. Right then, I heard someone nearby clear their throat. I looked over to see a soldier in uniform. He was looking straight at me and ever so slightly shaking his head. No. I looked back towards the restroom and the dude was gone. I'd like to think that I wouldn't have gone, but I also know that I was very naive. That soldier saved me.
@@TonyaSearcherForTruth No. I wrote exactly what I meant to write. It's easy for one to say they would not have done something stupid, when looking back, but I know that I was far too trusting.
Growing up in Detroit, us five kids were taught to put a certain expression on our faces when on the street. It’s a look of kinda being on the verge of pissed off, unapproachable, and maybe just a bit unhinged without saying a single word. And eye contact, there’s a fine line between letting someone know you know they see you and not staring at them. This has served me well for my entire life.
I'm 76 yr. old female - I always park in the same place at my stores so that I don't have to "remember" where I parked. I keep my keys on me, never in my purse, incase my purse is snatched; I can still get home in my car. I have my keys ready before I leave the store. I never wear any jewelry. I only take the credit cards I'll be using that day. I wear my purse cross-body in the store and never put it in the basket. The moment I shut my car door I lock it. Someone here mentioned the book "The Gift of Fear" - everyone should read it.
Those handbags in the shopping cart infuriate me. It's STUPID to do that AND you are instigating a crime scene that I might become a part of because I'm here in the store with your stupid a$$.
My list: 1) Situational awareness (don't be distracted) 2) Never give out personal information (oversharing) 3) Don't show off money or jewelry (never let anyone see you pull out or put away a wad of cash) 4) If at all possible, be with a group of others (you're most vulnerable alone)
Came here to say this. You are under no obligation to be polite or accommodating to strangers. My sister is overly friendly and I find myself being much more vigilant when she actively engages with someone who should've been quickly dismissed or even ignored. Letting people know you are not that easygoing can often shut things down before they even start.
Being kind. This is one I learned from personal experience. If you’re too nice, people WILL take advantage of you. This can happen financially, emotionally. Hell, someone might just try to start a physical altercation with you because you’re nice and they assume you won’t hit back. This is why it’s nice to be the quiet, unassuming one in the room.
@@rasmustorkel9568 unfortunately my kindness knew no boundaries, meaning it went into me ending up being hurt a lot. Thankfully, I’m not like that anymore. It took learning the hard way a bunch of times for me to finally start telling people no.
@@kcm4511 Thanks for sharing. It is good that you learned to set boundaries. That is very important. However, I wish for you that you can find the right balance and remain a kind person.
Glad I found your channel. Almost 70 yr. old woman in small town who's walked for ten years. No slouching,or looking down. I carry a stun gun and pepper spray, locked and loaded for four legged beast or two legged. Head on a swivel 😂
When I was around 11 years, old, I was waiting for a bus to go to the mall when a man in a large, white car pulled up to the bus stop, swung open the passenger door and offered me a ride. It had started to rain and he used that as a reason to try and gently coax me into the car. My guts screamed no and I declined the ride, but he kept at it, more forcefully. My guts were still screaming and I suddenly looked at him and then pointed down the road, and I said "the bus is coming and I'm meeting my friend on the bus.". He gave me the angriest, frustrated look, slammed shut the passenger door and sped off. I really think I escaped a tragic situation that day. Always listen to your guts.
I grew up with an angry alcoholic father. I could sense from the sound of him walking up the front stairs what kind of a night it would be. I don't walk around in paranoid mode, but my early warning system (feeling in my gut) is still with me, and I always pay attention to it. When I was a young woman, I walked everywhere, sometimes late at night and even into the early morning hours. I remember a few times when I thought I might be at risk. My mindset was "Walk down the street like you own it."
So many people have lost the ability to listen to that sixth sense. Interview after interview of victims saying "Something felt off, but I ignored it and went ahead anyway."
The one and probably only good thing about being adult children of alcoholics are our ability to read a room or sense unease in an atmosphere or situation involving other humans. The school of hard knocks has at least given us a built in danger detector others are not naturally privy to.
I live in a big city thats currently full of addicts, mentally ill and criminals sadly . A huge amount of them are constantly on the hunt for their next mark. They are incredibly driven and will look for any instance that they can get the drop on somebody in some fashion . After months or years of living this life they are experts . I see a lot regular folks just trying to block all of it out by going into an emotional cocoon . They don't want to have to engage . Well all that reads as fear to a predator and will instead draw them to you. Learn to give a cold , dead stare that simply says "I can see you , I'm not afraid." If you smile and nod , you'll draw them. If you look confrontational , it may work, but it may also cause friction if say they are in a gang. You just want to send the message you are clocking them and aware . 2nd , use reflective surfaces as mirrors . They are all around you in a city .
As a 5” female engineer, I learned not to make my car look “female” as I could be leaving sites in the dark. A target vest and hard hat in the back seat helps.
I knew a predator type guy who could tell what a female, young and single car would look like. He would cruise the bars, but never go in, because he could tell who was there, by looking in their cars...
I went from being extremely healthy and confident to having a serious health problem for a long time. It astounded me how many people were rude to me, said nasty things to me ... People did not come up and offer to help, they offered their opinions and I could do without that. You really do become a target, for the weak, the rude and people who are much worse. I almost never go out after dark ANYWHERE now. It is just common sense to not put yourself in harm's way. Thanks for the talks. They are good reminders.
When I get out of my vehicle at the gas station, or store, or wherever, and see "shady" dudes hanging around, I always make eye contact and give them head nod and a "Hey, Brother"....or "How you doin'?" . For one, it makes them feel acknowledged, and shows that you're aware of them, and not afraid to engage with them.
Ha! As a woman I specifically don’t make eye contact with those kind of people. But I do watch them in reflections and in my peripheral vision. And never have my back to them. And all doors to the vehicle locked, even when standing right next to it.
@@annieontheroadMe, too. I’ve taken to driving with the doors locked, too. If I lower the windows when driving, I make sure that the windows are up high enough, that no one can reach in and grab my purse. It sucks, but we’ve got to be safe, right?
🎆 ~ 👍 👍 Agree 100% with annieontheroad & EternallyCurious. _Keep staying safe, girls, it's realllyyyyy hard now_ with guys of certain foreign cultures & religions living amongst us now whom believe we are for free-taking - _happened here in a flash_ to a convenience store middle-aged clerk & right in front of her wimpy male co-worker. The criminal *dragged her* from behind the counter & *locked themselves in the restroom* ... then refused to let the cops in ... TH-cam will delete my comm, if I say more ... E-VON though it's *true local news.* _Stay safe!!!_ ~ 💖
I know a female, Chinese-American, tiny (5' 3") Seattle police officer. No one would ever try to walk up on her, and in fact she is on a special protective detail. There is a bubble of force and charisma around her. To the channel host: You strike a wonderful balance between forcefulness and friendliness. You explain clearly and briefly, and you give off a vibe of concern for your audience. Well done, sir, and thank you.
Agree on all three... and here's one more: The taught stupidity of avoiding stereotypes which, by the way, is the most successful tool used by many law enforcement/security agencies in most countries. This leads some to place themselves in extremely vulnerable situations. “If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.”
When I was in college I took an assertiveness workshop taught by a woman to help women be less vulnerable - pretty much what is being described here. I think all woman and children need this information.
I'm old (78) and old fashioned.... I carry a 40 cal Glock, not opened carry, but in a holster that is inside my pants on the right front. The handle sticks out so I can grab in an instant (I have practiced at gun range a lot). Only two or three times have I had to put my hand on my handgun and once was walking out to my car in a parking lot when I noticed I was being watched. I stopped, turned directly faced to the potential bad guy, pulled my gun partially from the holster so that the dude and his friend a few feet away could see I was armed to the teeth.....they turned and departed instantly. I didn't have to say a single word...knowing I was armed plus the 'bring it on pricks" look was enough to diffuse any violent encounter.
God bless you sir. Be careful not to cross the line into “brandishing”. In today’s more regulated and litigious society it’s too easy to get into trouble. Unfortunately defending yourself is often perceived as you being the aggressor or a dangerous person. Ridiculous right? I live in Hawaii where we have no stand your ground or castle doctrine rights. Thanks to the Bruen decision now we can get concealed carry permits. Be safe and thank you for your helpful anecdote.
Am a small female have travelled to many countries by myself I was told when i was young always walk tall and full of confidence and be aware of who is around you. Did this and had no problems thankfully.
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! As it happened, when I was in my early teens, I was walking down 15A in Orlando because my mother did not drive (she was a widow, so no dad to drive me either). 15A was a long lonely stretch of road with palmetto scrubs on either side of the road for the most part. Now, it is all built up into a 4 lane, but back in the 1970’s it was just a 2 lane road which intersected Hyw 50. So, when I was already a good stretch away from the intersection, a new Toyota pulled along side of me and a very lawyerly looking man began to chide me for walking alone. His manner was very fatherly and gentle as he said something like: “It’s not safe for you to be out walking by yourself. Come on. You better get in and I will see that you get to your friend’s house.” I was suspicious, but not frightened at that point. He kept on and on in his charismatic way. He was in a dress suit, with the coat casually hung over his seat. His briefcase was in the back seat. I asked him if he was a lawyer. Against my intuition, I finally decided that he meant no harm as he chatted me up. So, I decided to accept that ride. As I opened the back door, he said: “NO! I want you to sit up front.” He said that a little more forceful than need be, I thought. I saw a roll of duct tape halfway underneath the back seat. My guard began to go up, but stupidly I began to open the front door & get in. It was then that I saw that the door handle was all covered over in duct tape on the inside. Odd for a brand new car. There would have been no way out. Then, in an instant: he saw the horror on my face and reached over from the driver’s seat and grabbed my left forearm. His face turned in one second from the concerned fatherly look to pure rage! It was the face of a real monster! It was all contorted. He was yanking me in. I still had my right foot (my best foot forward that day) on the ground which gave me the leverage I needed to hold on to something and yank away & scream with everything that was in me. I was jerking and wiggling my wrist & forearm all about so that he lost control of it as I jerked it away and ran back to the intersection ~ screaming my head off. God spared me that day & I have thanked Him ever since. I never told my mother, but as it happened: pictures of Ted Bundy began to appear in all of the papers. The Orange County Police Dept started issuing warnings about him on the radio stations. He was finally caught afterward and sentenced for the murder of Kimberly Leach, who lived in the Orlando/Kissimmee area. After I saw the clean cut/clean shaven pictures of him in a suit and tie, I saw that he looked EXACTLY like this stranger who tried to abduct me If it was not Ted Bundy: it was his twin. IDK for sure WHO he was, but I have carried this memory with me all of my life. I should have trusted my intuition. I do now, but in those early teenage years, life had more of a golden halo over it. We do not like to think that monsters walk among us, but they do. One could pull up next to you in a car someday ~ looking & acting so respectful ~ that your guard would not be up. Even his car was immaculate. So, for me, it was a very hard lesson to be wary of strangers and not to focus on their mannerisms or appearance, but to question what it is that they want & to weigh it against common sense. I thank God every time I think of it for the safety that surrounded me and that I lived to tell this very true story. Be careful out there everybody!
Oh honey . I lived in Orlando, 32 years. I am fighting tears , thinking what almost happened to this precious teen . Thinking of the ones who didn't get away fast enough. Their moms and dads had to live with that truth. Unbearable. Sometimes it's just a few seconds . I had a close encounter myself when I was 20, & my car broke down on the highway in NY. Predators are everywhere. God bless ~~~
@@dowth3 Amen! It has always stayed with me, rolling around in the back of my mind. I was SO CAREFUL to know where my teenagers were at all times later on. The thing that shocked me the most was (other than him grabbing my arm) was the way his face changed in a split second of time.
@tamararutland-mills9530 Wow, I heard Debbie Harry akc Blondie had a close encounter with Ted Bundy too. I had a similar encounter but not a famous serial killer. It was daytime at a bus stop, I'd just been to the doctor's and found out I was pregnant. I was with my toddler when a smart looking car drove up. The guy was telling me he was an MP, and he'd give me a lift. I accepted and went to the back seat with my son. He motioned me to sit with him in the front. That's when alarm bells went off, I got out quick. He was still trying to convince me what an upstanding citizen he was. I stood firm at refusing, so he drove off. Then a four-wheel drive ✋️ and the man asked if I'd like a lift, I said no thank you in no uncertain terms. Mine wasn't a serial killer as far as I know, but at least it taught me a lesson. I know that around that time there was a couple operating around Perth Western Australia, and they were David and Catherine Birnie.
Great list. To #1, I’d add “no earbuds in public.” I see people who aren’t looking at their phone, but they’re having a conversation with someone or listening to music. They aren’t aware. To #2 I’d add bumper stickers. If, for instance, I wanted to steal a gun, I’d find a vehicle with certain bumper stickers. To #3, I’d add “make eye contact and say hello”… appropriately. If I pass someone close, I always make eye contact and at least give them a friendly nod. It says, “I see you, I bear you no ill will and I’m not afraid of you.”
I listen to music in public but I'm very alert and aware of other people getting too close. I walk briskly and move away if anyone gets into my personal spade.
" I always make eye contact and at least give them a friendly nod. It says, “I see you, I bear you no ill will and I’m not afraid of you" Well to many it signals: "Hello, I want to go home with you...please nod back in approval."
Sadly, I’d add loud music in the car. Really sadly. Can’t hear your car either, which can be really harmful when mechanical issues arise. And don’t notice the police, a bad thing.
100% True buddy. I always pay super attention to my surroundings no matter what I'm doing or where I am. Most people are driving on Auto pilot and too complacent by making them unaware of everything going on around them. I like to be super observant and alert.
Ever since I could walk I've been a fast walker so I naturally walk with purpose. Even on a leisurely dog walk I'm hustling 😅 It's saved me from many unwanted interactions.
Great info. Thinking about 4 men I've noticed. All senior aged. None traditionally fit looking. But each looks strong physically and mentally, only one of them is loud and talkative, each confident, very watchful, very aware, like they're quietly noticing the people coming and going and are evaluating their motives, like they don't suffer fools gladly, and like they'd go down taking down the perp if that's what was required. One of the four is actually small, probably in his late 70s, wears his Marines jacket ... and I get this vibe that this man has seen and done it all - and would do it again. I learn a lot observing.
I used to work in corrections where the odds were 183 to 3. Pretty much a gonna loose situation but you always guarantee yourself that you're going home and their not mentally. If you think like a victim you'll most likely end up one. It's not a boxing match, its your life
I retired from a max joint. I walk through Walmart just like I'm the rock. Recently I had transportation problems and had to ride the bus. As I boarded I saw some weird guy was laughing inappropriately and trying to engage in conversation with people who were not interested. As soon as I sat down he started with me. I look him dead in the eye and said "Not me." He got real quiet and the other riders all relaxed.
@@chetisanhart3457 - I've done the same thing but with a slow head shake while staring directly into his eyes. The silence gives most people the creeps.
@@chetisanhart3457 I had a man (over 6’) rapidly approach me calling me by my name as if he knew me, like he was thrilled to see me. He was coming at a fast clip. When I saw his hand come across to lay it on my shoulder: I grabbed his pinky finger and twisted it backwards really hard. I flipped him at least 3 feet in the air & started yelling at him. He went flying! It was all so instinctual & happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think.
As a multiracial person with blue eyes in a brown face, I learned at an early age that I was never going to blend in no matter how hard I tried, so I decided to lean into it--but with a way to compensate for being a born target. I wear a cape. There is no way for a predator to get a good grip on me. He can't see where I've got my purse, he can't see whether I've got a gun under there, he sees a lot of fabric that he could easily get tangled in that could hinder his getaway. So he's going to look for easier prey. I've lived in slums where lots of other people got mugged, but not me.
At night personal space needs to extend out to about 50 feet. Anyone inside of that needs to know you're aware of them. You don't need to speak. In fact, its better if you don't, but make your awareness known in an assertive manner.
I think that’s the minimum circle at any time. Any person in your vision has to know you see them. And especially for women always make it clear that you are aware of the person. It doesn’t matter how far away.
Bad idea to have one distance in mind. Be aware, as far as matters. As closely or loosely as appropriate. For certain, walking home late in the Bronx, I was at least 100 yards out. Bullets travel, predators are looking from afar.
By assertive do you mean standing tall and walking with longer strides and purpose? Because I watched a video by Chase Hughes on exuding authority. He said the person who moves the slowest, has their head and eyes up, has a straight back and speaks the least will usually be the person perceived as the most authoritative. While that was more about conversations or close encounters, I have found that stamping my feet can get even a gang of youths walking towards me to split up or move to one side. The other thing I will do is punch the air and sing (they think you're nuts and want to avoid you--as if crazy is contagious!
Great observations, and advice, Daniel! I want to add "face". If your expression looks lost, confused, or timid, you are wearing a "VICTIM" sign. Most people don't seem to consider that your face is what is presented to the world, and can tell a predator all they need to know about you. Most of my life has been in violent, crime ridden, cities, so my "street face" comes on, automatically, when I walk outside. I look kind of angry, and just a little crazy (apparently. this is what people have told me, anyway, lol), so I don't get messed with much, except by the real crazies, and I've been dealing with some very crazy people for my whole life (some of my relatives... hoo, buddy! Ha ha.) so I can usually get rid of them quickly. If not, well, loonies CAN be fun, but I don't recommend most people to hang out with them, as they ARE dangerous.
When I'm out with my wife, be it a store, mall, restaurant, I'm always looking around. She says I look creepy but I'm checking out people, the exits, areas that offer protection, I don't care if it looks creepy cause you never know, something bad can happen anywhere. As a retired police officer i know all too well. Know your surroundings.
If you must answer or use your phone when on the street, put your back to a wall so that now you can see 180 degrees and see trouble coming and you don't have to worry about your "six".
The book the gift of fear mentions not to smile or say hi to random people. Growing up in the south you learn to be friendly and kind and polite to strangers. But you never know if you are the only connection that person has had and can cause them to lock in on you. I don’t smile or say hi to anyone anymore. I don’t owe them anything.
Very, very well said! I have witnessed this. I guess it depends on the time and place, but I could see this definitely being a problem on random city streets.
That's a tough one. Because I think basic socialization is what a lot of people really need, and actually allows people to be the best version of themselves. In a lot of ways, I think excess coldness and paranoia is actually causing a lot more problems then it's solving. But I understand the impulse to protect.
As a retired L.E.O. be aware of your surroundings. Remember to use 3 senses, sight ( looking around), hearing (listen for someone or something coming on you especially from behind) and smell (smell for alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc...). Learn self defense. Buy Pepper Spray, walking stick or a cane or purchase a firearm and get qualified using it. Stay safe folks....................
I just found your videos. Iam a 68 year healty but small widow. I never shop after dark and iam usually alone. I appreciate all your tips. I do make a point to be alert.
One thing I have to work on is not expressing my anger and frustration over small things that aren't going my way. Like dropping something, jamming my arm or elbow into something, yes, it sucks but not to my advantage to think out loud and let the world know about it. 30 years ago in martial arts my teacher said by telegraphing what causes you pain lets the enemy know where to strike.
I went to Walmart yesterday and I did the self-checkout and while I was sticking my credit card in the debit machine, someone came up behind me and took three bags out of my shopping cart. I was not being attentive to what was going on around me,my fault. A hard lesson to learn when your on a pension.
I have been stocked at a Wal-Mart one day. I had been very sick so I was using a powerchair. This big guy around 25 years old was with me everywhere I went. So, I started going different direction's to see if he was following me..I realized he was. Lucky for me I was with a few family members and found them in the store.when this man saw I was with family he quickly went away. I told the store manager. Now when I'm shopping I find someone who is shopping like me and befriend them.. Soon it can look !like you are not alone. I also look around and hunt for things that could be used as a weapon. I did not like feeling of being a easy mark.
I have a very well behaved dog who is big enough to protect me if I need her to. People love her. I take her everywhere with me. Just because she looks nice, doesn’t mean she won’t bite. She’s a deterrent.
My dog is a Labordoodle but she doesn’t have the curls. I needed a dog with some poodle because poodles are smart and they don’t shed. Labs are friendly and good with kids. She’s a good mix.
Be willing to quietly abandon your stuff, your meal, or dont finish filling your gas tank, etc if the situation you are in starts to look dangerous or suspicious. Avoid being overloaded with stuff you are buying. Be efficient in getting your task done, like loading car with your purchases.
Again, as a fellon familiar with these situations, you're exactly right. Confidence being the big one here, regardless of size, shape or anything else, walk and act with Confidence, criminals look for easy victims, don't act like one, whether you are or not. Be cautious of looking around too much, that can convey nosey behavior, often better to look straight ahead or slightly below eye level, no need to make anyone think you're challenging them.
I am 59 years old 45 years of trauma And I met my wife, just celebrated 15 year anniversary. She keeps me grounded but I never ever let my guard down. I trust no one but my fault, I expressed myeself to much. But I have been working on it. Especially know a days. Thank you for the video. Im in the right track.
I 100% agree! I'm an extremely happy go lucky person and I find that predators mistake my cheerful disposition as some kind of weakness to be exploited. I have experienced that if I'm in a good mood I am more likely to be approached by villains but if I'm not in the mood for trouble the bad people will usually avoid me because I lack the energy to disguise myself as a domesticated person. I'm a 240 lbs athletic caveman and yet when I'm exuding a harmless and friendly body language and attitude, the predatorial people who are far less capable of violence than I am somehow think it's a good idea to target me. It is my belief that around certain men with primitive minds, kindness is a weakness that blinds them to all the other warning signs of violence. I suggest you wear the stripes of a tiger rather than the wool of the sheep unless you're actively trying to lure in the bad guys. Predators are opportunistic creatures who lack the honor of a warrior so they are looking for vulnerable prey. Present yourself as a high risk target and they'll slink away like cowards to find an easier target.
I actually like appearing to be friendly and vulnerable, so that they willingly reveal themselves. You know what they say, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Maybe I just have trauma or something that I am making excuses for, I'm not sure
Quickly showing fear or hate to a potential bully or mugger seems to ensure that they will elevate their hostility. Instead, stay cool and act like they are no different from you.
Thank you for this advice. Absolutely agree with all of it. I live in a politically angry area, so avoid talking politics with anyone I don't know, or let myself be heard about it by same. I vote by mail. I keep my phone in my pocket while running errands, looking all around me, from natural curiosity and for self preservation. I've learned to walk with calm, confident posture, which isn't always easy for someone with ADHD's constant sensory overload. As a woman, I dress comfortably but not too revealingly; I don't want to broadcast for attention I don't want. I'm lucky to be healthy enough to keep bicycling, dancing, and working outdoors. At an active 71, when there's safety, there's still lots of fun.
My mother used to treat the voting booth like the Confessional. She never told anyone how she voted, not even her husband. Seemed stupid then, but smart now.
Same! I was at my lowest and it was like sharks came from the corners of the earth smelling blood. I never been bullied by so many family members, coworkers, “friends” in my life! It was horrifying and now that I’m strong again I have a whole new understanding of everyone around me. The human race genuinely is depraved and I’m now 100% convinced that not 1 person will escape eternity in Hell apart from repenting of their evil hearts and accepting the payment of Jesus Christ on the cross.
@@hangryturtle9006 That’s a great analogy of the sharks.,That’s exactly how it seems. I’ve not understood how many horrible people exist. And now. I trust no one, literally. Trust is earned and not quickly. But, it saddens me. What’s happened to humanity, that there are so many depraved people? One thing, I am really grateful that I have a heart. And empathy. And know how to use them. I’m grateful that I’ve helped others, friends and family along the way. Now, seeing how much they need it and how few people do.
@@hangryturtle9006I had your same experience. Dire illness, all of a sudden friends family everyone but the dog was taking liberties. It's disgusting. No sick person needs that.
Probably the greatest gift was being bullied up to about 3rd grade, always a quiet kid,had a growing spurt,became a very good athelet but never forgot how it felt,I spent the rest of my life educating my kids and grandkids about defending others,I'm 6,1 250 but I'm 65 now so you have to wonder how things got this far.love this video,set with ur back to the wall in public, exercise situational awareness,be kind, humble, vigilant,good stuff Sir.
this past july, i drove from Tennessee to Maine. for a couple weeks, to visit my sister. i was alone. as i was leaveing, my daughter asked why i was wearing those heavy cowboy boots and jeans in this heat. i said , cause in the middle of the night, while pumping gas in the middle of nowhere, and somebody wants to mess with me, i don't want to be in shorts and flipflops, trying to defend myself. also had on a sleeveless button down shirt, and a grungy straw cowboy hat. to make myself as intimidating as possible. look like someone you don't want to mess with. and in fact i am someone you don't want to mess with.
I move through social circles easily, cause I'm a musician who can take requests from anyone anywhere and with a single listen on the phone play almost any song for anyone. As you can imagine, I generally get a lot of positive surprised feedback. But listening to you reminds me of how dangerous putting your inner self out to the world at large can be. Thanks for the heads up.
Yeah but that beer gut did make it hard for you to actually catch em, i mean if they run you are not getting them.... we all have see mall cops the movie....
Number three is very important, and it even applies to larger people. I try to be aware and even make very brief eye contact with people, and especially people who I have a "feeling" about in public. Just to let them know I'm aware of their presence. I'm not talking about staring or anything, but a very brief eye contact and then I continue to scan. I think sometimes people who mean harm to us are looking to see if they're even "visible" to us, and by doing this it's letting them know that you're aware of them. Another great video man, thank you for this.
As a small elderly woman the key for me was carrying myself as not to be noticed, ( gray man), head on a swivel and acting as if I didn’t notice the drug addled insane lunatics. Eye contact or reacting to their weirdness would trigger them.
Great advice the only thing I would add is develop a survivor mindset. Look for threats don’t assume everyone is wonderful just because you want to think that way
What a great channel!. Once I got out of a very dangerous situation which could have gone very bad. I pretended to know Kempo Karate by assuming the fighting stance and the perpetrator backed off.
Agree with all that. I am a 65 yr old Australian in Melbourne and ok fit wise. Been in Law enforcement and security all my adult life. These days, more than ever in this environment we are in I am aware of danger and am prepared with a plan of action for most events possible. Have a plan in your head and never be surprised. Just the opposite expect danger and have a game plan ready to put into action.
Thanks Daniel for the advice. I find that looking people in the eye sometimes makes people angry, but at other times averts possible troubles. I've heard that on the streets the only one who will look you in the eye are criminals and cops.
Agree with all points; especially the third. I’m a small guy, but I have never once been a victim of bullying (there were attempts, of course) but these episodes normally fizzle out before they got serious. I spent 5 years in boarding schools where bullying was the norm, and I found it a bit weird how guys bigger (and smaller) than me allowed themselves to be bullied. To me, backing off when your rights are being undermined was simply not an option. 30 years later, now I’m working in an office environment, and these points still hold true. Those who are too timid, or too loud will become easy targets (now the threats are verbal/ mental instead of physical when i was growing up). There are plenty of people who get satisfaction from using/ imposing their whims on you; and if you let them, they will.
4:15: I have also discovered that if you look like you belong, and like you know where you are going (this is how you carry yourself), people are unlikely to question you, even in a somewhat restricted area. It also helps if you have a tool pouch or a clipboard.
Owning and handling a working dog like my Belgian Malinois, who I’ve had since she was 2 months old, has completely transformed my perspective. She’s incredibly smart and high-functioning, so I’ve had to stay super alert and aware. This awareness has translated into my work environment too. Recently, a fellow employee tried to harass me, but because I’ve trained myself to stay respectful and aware, I handled the situation appropriately. It’s important to walk with confidence and purpose and always show respect, as you never know what someone else might be going through.
Thank you. Autistic 49 year old woman who was diagnosed 8 years ago. I already knew all the things you pointed out, but hearing your words solidified that it is completely fine to cut people out of your life, if it drains you. Sometimes, we Tey to people-please and forget that we have needs, too! I have few friends. They are the same friends I had as a teenager. Most of them, male. As musicians we have mass respect for each other. My weak spot is female friends. They either expect me to be their social worker/ mother figure or want me to change because I am reclusive I, now, look at potential friendships like a psychopath haha as in, does this benefit me? Is this person draining me and encroaching on my personal, private space? Is there always drama around this person? It's cold, but it helps. Even good people drain you when they expect you to be their care giver.
Cell phones. I was on the Santa Monica City College campus and saw a student taking photographs. I inquired. He was doing a project of taking photographs of people on cell phones. Not one of students was aware of what was going on around him or her. This is the campus where a guy had killed a couple of people a mile away and engaged in a gun fight on campus several years ago. Not standing out. You cannot do two things at once. You can not talk and act or think. This is taught in OODALOOP classes. For example, the bad guy has a gun pointed at you with his brain saying "do not fire". If you get him to start talking, you have an advantage. So, I listen . . . A bad guy does not have to be trained in OODALOOP to understand that a flashy talker is at a disadvantage. Yes on posture. Something else. A guy in sandals can not move very fast. A gal in high heels is not going to run after anyone. The overweight hausfrau or the pregnant male aged 44 who played football 30 years before is not going to last long in a fight. When you stand, do not put your hands in your pockets, even if it is cold. Fold your fingers and rest them on the pocket of the pants. If you have to lean on something, lean with you back against a wall. When you are in a restaurant, don't position your back to the entrance.
Great advice. I don't know if you consider Chacos as sandals, but let me assure you that they permit high performance. I run, hike, climb rocks, bike, drag canoes over rocks in rivers, etc. They look like sandals to the unaware.
I agree. Be alert, aware, non confrontational, project strength, if not physically strong then develop and project psychological strength and determination.
All 3 are great advice but as a woman that last one no.3 is LEGIT! I have stopped quite a few attacks from happening to me just by how I walk and stand when in public. Alert , strong walk and eyes locked with a no nonsense glare at any person around me acting squirrely ,it was enough for them to get the message! Last person was an obvious drug addict looking for trouble..he thought twice!
Arrogance and confidence are next door neighbors. Be aware of your surroundings and observe people. And as the famous Gambler song goes "know when to hold them, know when to fold them.."
If you decide to "fold" be careful about how you go about doing so. Like a fish trying to get away from a shark, there are certain ways of doing things that actually *increase* someone's awareness of you when you're trying to create distance.
A relaxed attitude of casual awareness paired with a mindset to “take action” and be ruthless if I have to works for me. Constant awareness is borderline hyper vigilance and it opens the gates to anxiety and trouble. It’s important to save your energy for when you really need it. We are not in a constant conflict zone. Real world, real time situational awareness. As a woman on my own I’ve travelled to many countries safely, without fear and enjoyed meeting k’s of people from all walks of life.
My brother was incarcerated in a county jail in Pennsylvania in the early 1970s for about one year. I asked him how he was able to avoid getting jumped or abused (raped) while in jail. He said he had to quickly develop violent type demeanor and stood his ground (not starting fights but not backing down either) that earned him a reputation as basically a crazy, not-taking-shit from anyone person. It got to the point that he started protecting newly arriving in-mates that came to him for help. He said it was a reputation that saved him during his time there.
@@davidbooher5559 he didn't talk about himself. My point is he developed a reputation for not taking crap from any other inmate during his time there. Other people did the talking; he didn't need to say anything.
I’ve seen people walking with a cane, or with a leg brace or other apparatus. Don’t be fooled. Some are very defensive and can take care of themselves. But others can’t. You don’t know. Bad guys will target these people. If you’re in that position, prepare to take care of business!
Excellent advice - appreciated. I'm 69 and wouldn't feel safe walking around without my service dog, but even then I do what you recommend - situational awareness!
Shoes. I was taught by a London man to wear lace up shoes. We never know when we have to run ! I used to wear slip ons or sandels. Dropped the heels years ago but thought I was good to go. Ever seen a scene where people had to flee ( a mass shooting for instance)... so many shoes everywhere. I was in London in 2017 when the terrorists killed people and they had to run (on a busy street). All those shoes left behind. Its a rule now when I leave home. Tie the laces tight and double knot them.
Spot on. I can't tell you how many people I walk by downtown with their nose in their phone. Couple other ideas come to mind: Impairment - if you're high or drunk, you're not aware (or as aware) of your environment. Also, along the lines of being too loud or expressive, I would say to pick your battles wisely. If there are loud voices in your general area, either from someone drunk or deranged (or just a couple obnoxious bros), best to stand a bit further away. Obviously, if someone vulnerable is being targeted and harassed, you have the moral high ground to intervene. There is a lot of nuance to every situation, so I try to play the what-if scenarios in my head first.
Yes, situational awareness is definitely a great one to advise. Due to having lived in an apartment located in a bad part of our city, I know full well about this. I'm a small female (my fiance loves to mess with me by calling me a tiny person). Thankfully he's taught me ways to protect myself. However, if you don't stay aware of your surroundings, that makes you an easy target.
I have to say you are bang on with your assessments, I find people in general have become easy targets floating around through life with earphones and cell phone and not paying attention to the world around them.
Watch how a shark stalks his prey. They stay back and observe then cautiously move closer to assess their prey. They are observing for all the things mentioned in this video. They size you up and determine your disposition before striking. Classic predator behavior. Predators want to be at a safe advantage before they strike. Any of these factors mentioned would likely cause the predator to back off. To move on to softer targets. A predator likes to bet on sure things they are not much into risking their own safety to make an attack.
There is a balance. Predators very, very selectively choose the weak. But, they don’t want another predator in their territory, and sometimes they perceive a powerfully confident individual as competition. That happens to me far more often than being chosen as prey, and I really don’t like it. In fact, number 2 includes this idea!
🎆 ~ Methheads tweaking are different - they're always extremely unpredictable & dangerous. Lotza cases in my region - deady cases of targeted innocent people in all kinds of scenarios. ~ 💖
As a hiker, I’ve encountered bears. You can’t out run one. Standing still and silent might be the best option. Making lots of noise and waving a limb or something might be effective. Bear mace is a last resort. As always, thank you.
Bear mace often times merely angers a bear. If you are in bear country and do not carry an equalizer like an appropriate gun or guns, you are inviting your death.
Great presentation : God Bless. I do all the things you mention. Be aware of your surroundings, walk confidently, short statement, "good morning, God Bless", Be prepared to counter any threat. Do not walk talking to your cell phone. Also, know how to counter any attacker or attackers. Get down to business quickly.
I call it "scanning for bears, with eyes and ears"... an expression we used out on the trails. No distractions, no unnecessary conversation, purposeful walking, constant 180 scanning and regular 360s. And, of course, non-stop "spidey senses". Pay attention to everything.
I'm a person of color who lives with my wife in a nice suburban area. Since I stand out ,(I'm also tall) I make an effort to watch where I am. I try not to make any eye contact with anyone that I don't have any business with on a daily basis. I keep my head up but also keep my eyes forward, and I mind my own business.
When I'm in the Walmart parking lot I'm always amazed at the amount of people walking around with their faces stuck in their phones. We're easy picking for the border gang
Great video always learning, i have managed to carry myself a lot better as i gotten older. I was out today at a fair and so many people looking down at their phones not looking where they are going and quite often will bump into people. This will agrivate people and make you a target just by being complacent.
Ty Daniel for sharing ur knowledge with us. We all need to learn. None of us know everything. I love knowledge and research all the time. I so appreciate ppl teaching me something. Learning is a lifelong journey.
My father was a scout leader and trained all his kids including me to be aware of what's around you at all times. He taught us all to keep a "bug-out bag" and what to put in it. He was trained in wilderness survival, but we never went with him when he did that and I don't know much about it. I do know how to identify animal tracks and what to wear and bring with you on a hike or camping. I'm lucky to have had the training I did. These days you can take classes in wilderness survival, but what you're talking about here is urban survival, and that's something that no one taught about when I was growing up. I think there are classes for it now.
You're spot on Sir. I make it clear I dont want to fight. Secondly. If persistent I shout load to draw attention just in case I have to protect myself. This is for witnesses.Im 72 years if age and and always try to prevent provocation. I'll rather walk away if possible. I wouldnt suggest this if the aggressor has a weapon, rather run if possible. It's an awareness choice one must make. I can't do what I done years ago but 5 days a week I do excercise. I'm blessed and thankful. Thanks for your videos.
All of this really good advice good information I found in my years of experience to let the loud man continue to be loud he’s concentrating on himself rather than what he needs to be doing the quiet man usually prevails
Very good points. If you look beat down, you are really an easy target. Don't walk like you are under the "moon light" Don't park your car in isolated area away from the other cars.
I am a retired building inspector. Most of my time with the City, I worked in rough, scary neighborhoods. I always told new hires: A) walk like you know where you’re going. ( on a mission) B) know what’s behind you C) never mind what’s on your phone. Additional tip: I always wore a black rubber watch, worth about $20. Nothing anyone would jump me for.
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (3/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IVwR87OH0_A/mqdefault.jpg)
Tip #1, stay away from people as much as you can.
@@Xyz321jkl I do, and it seems to. Work.
Yeah, I find things like saying hello, being cordial, even civil, cause some very big problems. I am not exaggerating.
I like that idea the best. As "Mike Hammer" said, "If you're not in the picture, you can't get framed."😊
@@alfredpaquin3563 that’s hilarious for me, because I caught my former sister on security cam, stealing my mail. She claimed it wasn’t her, but the police didn’t believe her. Moral is, of course, “If you weren’t in the picture, you wouldn’t have gotten framed.”🤣🤣🤣
@privateprivate8366 YOU ARE NOT LYING!! 😬 It makes u start 2 become c🥶ld towards others 2 protect yourself, because u can't just be a normal civilized respectful decent human being 2 regular everyday people anymore it really seems😮💨
Im a native New Yorker. My mom taught me to walk with purpose, dont get distracted, and keep your head on a swivel.
It works. You can spot trouble in time to avoid it.
@@madelinemaize1426 what does it mean “ on a swivel?”
@LaurieTurner-n7o It means to be keeping your eyes out for what's going on all around you, not just what is in front of you.
My Mom always said keep your doors locked…
Car, house etc.
Sometimes when I talk to her on the phone she says…
Are your doors locked!
I’ve been married since I was 18, and 60 yrs. old now, she still says it!
😂that’s me in New York too!
Same. But I grew up in London. Walk fast and look as if you know where you’re going. Also look slightly pissed off but not too much. Don’t go round smiling. Change train carriages if you get a bad vibe about someone.
I will never forget an experience i had years ago. I was in a mall parking lot, daytime, walking to my car. Got in my car, and started the engine. I looked to my left, and saw a man walking guickly toward my car. He was a matter of four feet away from my car. I could hear him say, i'm not going to hurt you. My immediate reaction was, you're dam right, you're not going to hurt me. My foot was on that gas peddle, all the way to the floor. My tires screeched, and i flew passed him like a bat out of you know where. That was 25 yrs ago, and when i think of it now, i am glad i still have a heightened sense of fight or flight.
Wow! That’s terrible. Good on you! You go, gal!
That's what I'm talking about! Well done!
When they say they’re not going to do ‘specific thing’ that’s exactly what they’re going to do.
Excellent choice! You might not be here today if you hadn't reacted like you did.
Statement: “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Translation: “I’m gonna kill you.”
#4 Being very drunk, which makes it harder to defend yourself.
As a 54 year old bouncer, I whole heartily agree
I've seen so many people wasted get knocked out bad because they couldn't see what they were doing.
@@TheWolfe83 you ain't lying! 21 to 30 year old men are the worst. Social skills are at an all time low
Also, even a little drunk can take one from not talking too to talking too much.
Or using THC. I know people are walking around nowadays wasted on THC edibles, have no idea what's going on around them.
Where have I heard these things before? I know:
1. Lowered eyes fail to notice spies
2. Loose lips sink ships
3. Look alive
😂 Old wisdom is constantly resurfacing with new phraseology.
Walls have ears
Look like you know where you're going, OR alternatively, make yourself unpredictable.
These are my go-to's!
Loose lips sink ships.... comes from the UK ...in WW2...saying used alot during that time
U.S. Army combat veteran here. The most important lesson I brought back from my military service was to always be “situationally aware” of one’s surroundings at all times!!! Go Army!!
12b combat engineers demolition experts..bridge building
My dad was seconded to British Special Ops in WWII. He would teach us to take care of ourselves when we were children, we were learning without our even knowing it. He would say if you fall off something "hit the ground rolling". I was thrown from a large stallion in my teens when the rein dropped as the person handing me the rein dropped it while handing it to me. The horse stepped forward as it dropped and yanked it's own head down and got a fright! It reared up and threw me to the ground in a second. I was airborne and in my head I was saying HIT THE GROUND ROLLING. I could hear my sister screaming on the other side of the horse as I was rolling. The horse was coming down on the spot I had landed and from where she stood she could not see me rolling and thought she was watching me being killed by the horse.
You are never too cool for school.
My dad also said that if anyone ever puts their hands on you and tries to move you DROP to the ground and become a ball. The things the UHNW people pay a lot of money for the children to be taught.
"Always use 3 points of contact" has been gold for me.
That's one of my best take-aways from time in service.
Yup! I trust my spidey senses.
I totally deficiate in this category. Plus I do trust to a fault. I do have envy in you. My father was too tall to fly in the Air Force. I thought maybe I could follow in his steps. I guess I talked myself out of it because of my grades. I have bad life habits. I'm glad that I maintain employment.
#4 Don't wear bling in public. (Why do you even need bling?)
But i like wearing the bling i take from people..,, you means to tell me some other mofo going to take my nearly acquired gold savings. damn it man i knew i should have stayed in school and become a fancy lawyer, they always stealing a brothers bling for bonds and shit,.... and yes I am trolling hard.
Some have an " Bling Grille " so don't Smile, give them that " Tyson " Pendulum of Death Stare 😡🤬
I wear it to attract the ladies, its like honey to the bees.
@@paulkersey2179 Careful my friend . . . those bees can sting. :)
@@terry_willis Oh hell yeah
When I was a teen, I missed my train from Milwaukee to Chicago to visit my older sister. I called her, said I was at the bus station. Slhe told me to stand straight and tall, to walk with confidence, speak to no one and get on that bus. The station is filled with scary people. I learned a lot that day & no one bothered me.
This^ 1981. When I was fourteen, I went cross country on the bus from Utah to Georgia to live with my father. Waiting for my connecting bus in St Louis, I was sitting on a bench, reading a book when I heard someone going, "Pssst... Pssst...". I looked up to see some dude standing by the men's restroom, looking at me. He gestured for me to come over.
Right then, I heard someone nearby clear their throat. I looked over to see a soldier in uniform. He was looking straight at me and ever so slightly shaking his head. No.
I looked back towards the restroom and the dude was gone. I'd like to think that I wouldn't have gone, but I also know that I was very naive. That soldier saved me.
@@kurtkyreThank God!
@@kurtkyre And that soldier was none other than the young Chris Hansen, recently enlisted and heading back home for the holidays
@@kurtkyre I'd like to think that "if" I wouldn't have gone
@@TonyaSearcherForTruth No. I wrote exactly what I meant to write. It's easy for one to say they would not have done something stupid, when looking back, but I know that I was far too trusting.
Growing up in Detroit, us five kids were taught to put a certain expression on our faces when on the street. It’s a look of kinda being on the verge of pissed off, unapproachable, and maybe just a bit unhinged without saying a single word. And eye contact, there’s a fine line between letting someone know you know they see you and not staring at them. This has served me well for my entire life.
Ferndale here, same. Now in Dallas, still same.
Grew up in Houston in the late 70s/early 80s. Same.
It's called "game face".
That was learned behaviour for me in Chicago burbs.
Pittsburgher here, now in Los Angeles. Same
I'm 76 yr. old female - I always park in the same place at my stores so that I don't have to "remember" where I parked. I keep my keys on me, never in my purse, incase my purse is snatched; I can still get home in my car. I have my keys ready before I leave the store. I never wear any jewelry. I only take the credit cards I'll be using that day. I wear my purse cross-body in the store and never put it in the basket. The moment I shut my car door I lock it. Someone here mentioned the book "The Gift of Fear" - everyone should read it.
It's a fabulous book......
I AM AMAZED I DO ALL THESE THINGS YOU DO! 😊❤❤
Use the panic button. And mark your parking spot.
Those handbags in the shopping cart infuriate me. It's STUPID to do that AND you are instigating a crime scene that I might become a part of because I'm here in the store with your stupid a$$.
I do the same things that you listed, my key is between my fingers pointing out to use as a weapon also.
My list:
1) Situational awareness (don't be distracted)
2) Never give out personal information (oversharing)
3) Don't show off money or jewelry (never let anyone see you pull out or put away a wad of cash)
4) If at all possible, be with a group of others (you're most vulnerable alone)
The insights on people-pleasing behavior are so relatable; always trying to make others happy can sometimes lead to compromising our own boundaries
Came here to say this. You are under no obligation to be polite or accommodating to strangers. My sister is overly friendly and I find myself being much more vigilant when she actively engages with someone who should've been quickly dismissed or even ignored. Letting people know you are not that easygoing can often shut things down before they even start.
And safety
That thinking is killing Americans
The being so nice to people.
"being on a mission" - I figured that one out when I was a kid. It works.
Yep i totally agree,grab that shovel but dont just lean on it,look useful at all times.
I learned it as "walking with purpose."
Being kind. This is one I learned from personal experience. If you’re too nice, people WILL take advantage of you. This can happen financially, emotionally. Hell, someone might just try to start a physical altercation with you because you’re nice and they assume you won’t hit back. This is why it’s nice to be the quiet, unassuming one in the room.
You can be kind and polite without being submissive.
To some people nice equals dumb, better safe than sorry!@@rasmustorkel9568
Absolutely RIGHT
@@rasmustorkel9568 unfortunately my kindness knew no boundaries, meaning it went into me ending up being hurt a lot. Thankfully, I’m not like that anymore. It took learning the hard way a bunch of times for me to finally start telling people no.
@@kcm4511 Thanks for sharing. It is good that you learned to set boundaries. That is very important. However, I wish for you that you can find the right balance and remain a kind person.
Glad I found your channel. Almost 70 yr. old woman in small town who's walked for ten years. No slouching,or looking down. I carry a stun gun and pepper spray, locked and loaded for four legged beast or two legged. Head on a swivel 😂
🎆 ~ I always walk & bike with pepper GEL - better stuff ... lasts longer on 'em 😏 - & a personal alarm on me & at-the-ready. ~ 💖
Everyone standing or walking around with their face in their damn cell phones are a real target!
When I was around 11 years, old, I was waiting for a bus to go to the mall when a man in a large, white car pulled up to the bus stop, swung open the passenger door and offered me a ride. It had started to rain and he used that as a reason to try and gently coax me into the car. My guts screamed no and I declined the ride, but he kept at it, more forcefully. My guts were still screaming and I suddenly looked at him and then pointed down the road, and I said "the bus is coming and I'm meeting my friend on the bus.". He gave me the angriest, frustrated look, slammed shut the passenger door and sped off. I really think I escaped a tragic situation that day. Always listen to your guts.
❤❤❤❤yes. You did escape a trafficking situation..thank GOD😊😊😊
I grew up with an angry alcoholic father. I could sense from the sound of him walking up the front stairs what kind of a night it would be. I don't walk around in paranoid mode, but my early warning system (feeling in my gut) is still with me, and I always pay attention to it.
When I was a young woman, I walked everywhere, sometimes late at night and even into the early morning hours. I remember a few times when I thought I might be at risk. My mindset was "Walk down the street like you own it."
So many people have lost the ability to listen to that sixth sense. Interview after interview of victims saying "Something felt off, but I ignored it and went ahead anyway."
Yeah, I learned as 'Walking with purpose."
@@FlyingYellowPonyAgreed. Get out if you feel uncomfortable, never be afraid of looking foolish
The one and probably only good thing about being adult children of alcoholics are our ability to read a room or sense unease in an atmosphere or situation involving other humans. The school of hard knocks has at least given us a built in danger detector others are not naturally privy to.
As a child of an narcissistic alcoholic, I completely get it. We are always alert to any possible bull shit
I live in a big city thats currently full of addicts, mentally ill and criminals sadly . A huge amount of them are constantly on the hunt for their next mark. They are incredibly driven and will look for any instance that they can get the drop on somebody in some fashion . After months or years of living this life they are experts . I see a lot regular folks just trying to block all of it out by going into an emotional cocoon . They don't want to have to engage . Well all that reads as fear to a predator and will instead draw them to you. Learn to give a cold , dead stare that simply says "I can see you , I'm not afraid." If you smile and nod , you'll draw them. If you look confrontational , it may work, but it may also cause friction if say they are in a gang. You just want to send the message you are clocking them and aware . 2nd , use reflective surfaces as mirrors . They are all around you in a city .
You sound like an experienced new york sub way rider.
Always watch your shadow.
Time to mofe
That leaves us a wide range of cities to choose from. Mostly liberal cities.
My husband is always telling me to “Keep your head on a swivel when you go out!” Great advice for us older females.
As a 5” female engineer, I learned not to make my car look “female” as I could be leaving sites in the dark. A target vest and hard hat in the back seat helps.
Yes a man's cap on the rear shelf helps too
I knew a predator type guy who could tell what a female, young and single car would look like. He would cruise the bars, but never go in, because he could tell who was there, by looking in their cars...
paint your car pink and put a purple heart on the dashboard and wait with a stick at least. 😇
Head on a Swivel in Parking Lots, Convenience stores & basically any public space.
I went from being extremely healthy and confident to having a serious health problem for a long time. It astounded me how many people were rude to me, said nasty things to me ... People did not come up and offer to help, they offered their opinions and I could do without that. You really do become a target, for the weak, the rude and people who are much worse.
I almost never go out after dark ANYWHERE now. It is just common sense to not put yourself in harm's way. Thanks for the talks. They are good reminders.
When I get out of my vehicle at the gas station, or store, or wherever, and see "shady" dudes hanging around, I always make eye contact and give them head nod and a "Hey, Brother"....or "How you doin'?" . For one, it makes them feel acknowledged, and shows that you're aware of them, and not afraid to engage with them.
Ha! As a woman I specifically don’t make eye contact with those kind of people. But I do watch them in reflections and in my peripheral vision. And never have my back to them. And all doors to the vehicle locked, even when standing right next to it.
@@annieontheroadMe, too. I’ve taken to driving with the doors locked, too. If I lower the windows when driving, I make sure that the windows are up high enough, that no one can reach in and grab my purse. It sucks, but we’ve got to be safe, right?
🎆 ~ 👍 👍
Agree 100% with annieontheroad & EternallyCurious. _Keep staying safe, girls, it's realllyyyyy hard now_ with guys of certain foreign cultures & religions living amongst us now whom believe we are for free-taking - _happened here in a flash_ to a convenience store middle-aged clerk & right in front of her wimpy male co-worker. The criminal *dragged her* from behind the counter & *locked themselves in the restroom* ... then refused to let the cops in ... TH-cam will delete my comm, if I say more ... E-VON though it's *true local news.* _Stay safe!!!_ ~ 💖
That's really good thanks 😊
I think engaging with shady dudes can also be an invitation for victimization. Especially, if you appear nervous, so that's not always good advice!😮
I know a female, Chinese-American, tiny (5' 3") Seattle police officer. No one would ever try to walk up on her, and in fact she is on a special protective detail. There is a bubble of force and charisma around her.
To the channel host: You strike a wonderful balance between forcefulness and friendliness. You explain clearly and briefly, and you give off a vibe of concern for your audience. Well done, sir, and thank you.
A bubble of force and charisma? That sounds so bada$$, i'd like to have that for myself
Agree on all three... and here's one more: The taught stupidity of avoiding stereotypes which, by the way, is the most successful tool used by many law enforcement/security agencies in most countries. This leads some to place themselves in extremely vulnerable situations.
“If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.”
What is avoiding stereotypes?
@@gogogo26993 It means around blacks never relax
Agreed. Stereotypes exist for a reason. There are truths to them.
When I was in college I took an assertiveness workshop taught by a woman to help women be less vulnerable - pretty much what is being described here. I think all woman and children need this information.
I'm old (78) and old fashioned.... I carry a 40 cal Glock, not opened carry, but in a holster that is inside my pants on the right front. The handle sticks out so I can grab in an instant (I have practiced at gun range a lot). Only two or three times have I had to put my hand on my handgun and once was walking out to my car in a parking lot when I noticed I was being watched. I stopped, turned directly faced to the potential bad guy, pulled my gun partially from the holster so that the dude and his friend a few feet away could see I was armed to the teeth.....they turned and departed instantly. I didn't have to say a single word...knowing I was armed plus the 'bring it on pricks" look was enough to diffuse any violent encounter.
Haha, the same in South Africa. I can guess WH0 the bad guys were 🤓
God bless you sir. Be careful not to cross the line into “brandishing”. In today’s more regulated and litigious society it’s too easy to get into trouble. Unfortunately defending yourself is often perceived as you being the aggressor or a dangerous person. Ridiculous right? I live in Hawaii where we have no stand your ground or castle doctrine rights. Thanks to the Bruen decision now we can get concealed carry permits. Be safe and thank you for your helpful anecdote.
Also be aware of your surroundings.
Concealed Carry, 100%!! Always be prepared. 💯💪😘
😂😂👍👍
Am a small female have travelled to many countries by myself
I was told when i was young always walk tall and full of confidence and be aware of who is around you. Did this and had no problems thankfully.
#4 - keep your hands free, especially your strong hand.
the hand you fap with
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! As it happened, when I was in my early teens, I was walking down 15A in Orlando because my mother did not drive (she was a widow, so no dad to drive me either). 15A was a long lonely stretch of road with palmetto scrubs on either side of the road for the most part. Now, it is all built up into a 4 lane, but back in the 1970’s it was just a 2 lane road which intersected Hyw 50. So, when I was already a good stretch away from the intersection, a new Toyota pulled along side of me and a very lawyerly looking man began to chide me for walking alone. His manner was very fatherly and gentle as he said something like: “It’s not safe for you to be out walking by yourself. Come on. You better get in and I will see that you get to your friend’s house.” I was suspicious, but not frightened at that point. He kept on and on in his charismatic way. He was in a dress suit, with the coat casually hung over his seat. His briefcase was in the back seat. I asked him if he was a lawyer. Against my intuition, I finally decided that he meant no harm as he chatted me up. So, I decided to accept that ride. As I opened the back door, he said: “NO! I want you to sit up front.” He said that a little more forceful than need be, I thought. I saw a roll of duct tape halfway underneath the back seat. My guard began to go up, but stupidly I began to open the front door & get in. It was then that I saw that the door handle was all covered over in duct tape on the inside. Odd for a brand new car. There would have been no way out. Then, in an instant: he saw the horror on my face and reached over from the driver’s seat and grabbed my left forearm. His face turned in one second from the concerned fatherly look to pure rage! It was the face of a real monster! It was all contorted. He was yanking me in. I still had my right foot (my best foot forward that day) on the ground which gave me the leverage I needed to hold on to something and yank away & scream with everything that was in me. I was jerking and wiggling my wrist & forearm all about so that he lost control of it as I jerked it away and ran back to the intersection ~ screaming my head off. God spared me that day & I have thanked Him ever since. I never told my mother, but as it happened: pictures of Ted Bundy began to appear in all of the papers. The Orange County Police Dept started issuing warnings about him on the radio stations. He was finally caught afterward and sentenced for the murder of Kimberly Leach, who lived in the Orlando/Kissimmee area. After I saw the clean cut/clean shaven pictures of him in a suit and tie, I saw that he looked EXACTLY like this stranger who tried to abduct me If it was not Ted Bundy: it was his twin. IDK for sure WHO he was, but I have carried this memory with me all of my life. I should have trusted my intuition. I do now, but in those early teenage years, life had more of a golden halo over it. We do not like to think that monsters walk among us, but they do. One could pull up next to you in a car someday ~ looking & acting so respectful ~ that your guard would not be up. Even his car was immaculate. So, for me, it was a very hard lesson to be wary of strangers and not to focus on their mannerisms or appearance, but to question what it is that they want & to weigh it against common sense. I thank God every time I think of it for the safety that surrounded me and that I lived to tell this very true story. Be careful out there everybody!
Holy crap! My heart raced just reading your comment. YES you are blessed to still be walking on planet Earth!
Oh honey . I lived in Orlando, 32 years. I am fighting tears , thinking what almost happened to this precious teen .
Thinking of the ones who didn't get away fast enough. Their moms and dads had to live with that truth. Unbearable.
Sometimes it's just a few seconds .
I had a close encounter myself when I was 20, & my car broke down on the highway in NY. Predators are everywhere.
God bless ~~~
@@dowth3 Amen! It has always stayed with me, rolling around in the back of my mind. I was SO CAREFUL to know where my teenagers were at all times later on. The thing that shocked me the most was (other than him grabbing my arm) was the way his face changed in a split second of time.
@@Janette-l3w Yikes! I know. I lived in NY too, growing up. Be careful out there. Even senior citizens aren’t safe these days.
@tamararutland-mills9530 Wow, I heard Debbie Harry akc Blondie had a close encounter with Ted Bundy too.
I had a similar encounter but not a famous serial killer. It was daytime at a bus stop, I'd just been to the doctor's and found out I was pregnant. I was with my toddler when a smart looking car drove up. The guy was telling me he was an MP, and he'd give me a lift. I accepted and went to the back seat with my son. He motioned me to sit with him in the front. That's when alarm bells went off, I got out quick. He was still trying to convince me what an upstanding citizen he was. I stood firm at refusing, so he drove off. Then a four-wheel drive ✋️ and the man asked if I'd like a lift, I said no thank you in no uncertain terms. Mine wasn't a serial killer as far as I know, but at least it taught me a lesson. I know that around that time there was a couple operating around Perth Western Australia, and they were David and Catherine Birnie.
Great list. To #1, I’d add “no earbuds in public.” I see people who aren’t looking at their phone, but they’re having a conversation with someone or listening to music. They aren’t aware. To #2 I’d add bumper stickers. If, for instance, I wanted to steal a gun, I’d find a vehicle with certain bumper stickers. To #3, I’d add “make eye contact and say hello”… appropriately. If I pass someone close, I always make eye contact and at least give them a friendly nod. It says, “I see you, I bear you no ill will and I’m not afraid of you.”
I listen to music in public but I'm very alert and aware of other people getting too close. I walk briskly and move away if anyone gets into my personal spade.
" I always make eye contact and at least give them a friendly nod. It says, “I see you, I bear you no ill will and I’m not afraid of you"
Well to many it signals: "Hello, I want to go home with you...please nod back in approval."
Excellent rules of the road and public environments.
Sadly, I’d add loud music in the car. Really sadly. Can’t hear your car either, which can be really harmful when mechanical issues arise. And don’t notice the police, a bad thing.
100% True buddy. I always pay super attention to my surroundings no matter what I'm doing or where I am. Most people are driving on Auto pilot and too complacent by making them unaware of everything going on around them. I like to be super observant and alert.
Ever since I could walk I've been a fast walker so I naturally walk with purpose. Even on a leisurely dog walk I'm hustling 😅 It's saved me from many unwanted interactions.
Great info. Thinking about 4 men I've noticed. All senior aged. None traditionally fit looking. But each looks strong physically and mentally, only one of them is loud and talkative, each confident, very watchful, very aware, like they're quietly noticing the people coming and going and are evaluating their motives, like they don't suffer fools gladly, and like they'd go down taking down the perp if that's what was required. One of the four is actually small, probably in his late 70s, wears his Marines jacket ... and I get this vibe that this man has seen and done it all - and would do it again. I learn a lot observing.
I used to work in corrections where the odds were 183 to 3. Pretty much a gonna loose situation but you always guarantee yourself that you're going home and their not mentally. If you think like a victim you'll most likely end up one. It's not a boxing match, its your life
Lose
I retired from a max joint. I walk through Walmart just like I'm the rock.
Recently I had transportation problems and had to ride the bus. As I boarded I saw some weird guy was laughing inappropriately and trying to engage in conversation with people who were not interested.
As soon as I sat down he started with me. I look him dead in the eye and said "Not me."
He got real quiet and the other riders all relaxed.
I sit in the front of the bus.
@@chetisanhart3457 - I've done the same thing but with a slow head shake while staring directly into his eyes. The silence gives most people the creeps.
@@chetisanhart3457 I had a man (over 6’) rapidly approach me calling me by my name as if he knew me, like he was thrilled to see me. He was coming at a fast clip. When I saw his hand come across to lay it on my shoulder: I grabbed his pinky finger and twisted it backwards really hard. I flipped him at least 3 feet in the air & started yelling at him. He went flying! It was all so instinctual & happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think.
As a multiracial person with blue eyes in a brown face, I learned at an early age that I was never going to blend in no matter how hard I tried, so I decided to lean into it--but with a way to compensate for being a born target. I wear a cape. There is no way for a predator to get a good grip on me. He can't see where I've got my purse, he can't see whether I've got a gun under there, he sees a lot of fabric that he could easily get tangled in that could hinder his getaway. So he's going to look for easier prey. I've lived in slums where lots of other people got mugged, but not me.
At night personal space needs to extend out to about 50 feet. Anyone inside of that needs to know you're aware of them. You don't need to speak. In fact, its better if you don't, but make your awareness known in an assertive manner.
Ima sub. Your topics are on point. Life isn't flashlights an gear
I think that’s the minimum circle at any time. Any person in your vision has to know you see them. And especially for women always make it clear that you are aware of the person. It doesn’t matter how far away.
Bad idea to have one distance in mind. Be aware, as far as matters. As closely or loosely as appropriate. For certain, walking home late in the Bronx, I was at least 100 yards out. Bullets travel, predators are looking from afar.
As someone who ritually exercises during witching hours, this is what I do. I'm also very vigilant with cars during this time.
By assertive do you mean standing tall and walking with longer strides and purpose? Because I watched a video by Chase Hughes on exuding authority. He said the person who moves the slowest, has their head and eyes up, has a straight back and speaks the least will usually be the person perceived as the most authoritative. While that was more about conversations or close encounters, I have found that stamping my feet can get even a gang of youths walking towards me to split up or move to one side. The other thing I will do is punch the air and sing (they think you're nuts and want to avoid you--as if crazy is contagious!
Great observations, and advice, Daniel! I want to add "face". If your expression looks lost, confused, or timid, you are wearing a "VICTIM" sign. Most people don't seem to consider that your face is what is presented to the world, and can tell a predator all they need to know about you. Most of my life has been in violent, crime ridden, cities, so my "street face" comes on, automatically, when I walk outside. I look kind of angry, and just a little crazy (apparently. this is what people have told me, anyway, lol), so I don't get messed with much, except by the real crazies, and I've been dealing with some very crazy people for my whole life (some of my relatives... hoo, buddy! Ha ha.) so I can usually get rid of them quickly. If not, well, loonies CAN be fun, but I don't recommend most people to hang out with them, as they ARE dangerous.
Same in South Africa🤣
When I'm out with my wife, be it a store, mall, restaurant, I'm always looking around. She says I look creepy but I'm checking out people, the exits, areas that offer protection, I don't care if it looks creepy cause you never know, something bad can happen anywhere. As a retired police officer i know all too well. Know your surroundings.
Especially with public shootings.
I wish I had somone talking to me like this when I was growing up. ❤
If you must answer or use your phone when on the street, put your back to a wall so that now you can see 180 degrees and see trouble coming and you don't have to worry about your "six".
?#1 always watch your 6.
@@Ivan-cr3vc That means your "Six O'Clock" or behind you. It's an old
fighter pilot slang for watch your back. Always know what's going on behind you.
Thats what I do and I'm ready to slip phone in my cross carried bag in one second and zip up on the second second!
@@debkuhlman2934 I know, I'm a Navy veteran.
@@Ivan-cr3vcThank you for your service.
🙏
It’s so true. Someone’s body language speaks volumes, especially to those with a bit of wisdom.
The book the gift of fear mentions not to smile or say hi to random people. Growing up in the south you learn to be friendly and kind and polite to strangers. But you never know if you are the only connection that person has had and can cause them to lock in on you. I don’t smile or say hi to anyone anymore. I don’t owe them anything.
Very, very well said! I have witnessed this. I guess it depends on the time and place, but I could see this definitely being a problem on random city streets.
Wow. That is a huge change for me. 😮
That's a tough one. Because I think basic socialization is what a lot of people really need, and actually allows people to be the best version of themselves. In a lot of ways, I think excess coldness and paranoia is actually causing a lot more problems then it's solving. But I understand the impulse to protect.
As a retired L.E.O. be aware of your surroundings. Remember to use 3 senses, sight ( looking around), hearing (listen for someone or something coming on you especially from behind) and smell (smell for alcohol, drugs, cigarettes etc...). Learn self defense. Buy Pepper Spray, walking stick or a cane or purchase a firearm and get qualified using it. Stay safe folks....................
I just found your videos. Iam a 68 year healty but small widow. I never shop after dark and iam usually alone. I appreciate all your tips. I do make a point to be alert.
You sound like a wonderful sweet girl 💘, knowing Jesus is a absolute blessing for a happy life imho. God Bless my Lady, Ty
One thing I have to work on is not expressing my anger and frustration over small things that aren't going my way. Like dropping something, jamming my arm or elbow into something, yes, it sucks but not to my advantage to think out loud and let the world know about it. 30 years ago in martial arts my teacher said by telegraphing what causes you pain lets the enemy know where to strike.
I went to Walmart yesterday and I did the self-checkout and while I was sticking my credit card in the debit machine, someone came up behind me and took three bags out of my shopping cart. I was not being attentive to what was going on around me,my fault. A hard lesson to learn when your on a pension.
"Recognition is absolution". Next time you won't be so careless.
I have been stocked at a Wal-Mart one day. I had been very sick so I was using a powerchair. This big guy around 25 years old was with me everywhere I went. So, I started going different direction's to see if he was following me..I realized he was. Lucky for me I was with a few family members and found them in the store.when this man saw I was with family he quickly went away. I told the store manager. Now when I'm shopping I find someone who is shopping like me and befriend them.. Soon it can look !like you are not alone. I also look around and hunt for things that could be used as a weapon. I did not like feeling of being a easy mark.
I have a very well behaved dog who is big enough to protect me if I need her to. People love her. I take her everywhere with me. Just because she looks nice, doesn’t mean she won’t bite. She’s a deterrent.
What is the race of your dog please?
My dog is a Labordoodle but she doesn’t have the curls. I needed a dog with some poodle because poodles are smart and they don’t shed. Labs are friendly and good with kids. She’s a good mix.
Be willing to quietly abandon your stuff, your meal, or dont finish filling your gas tank, etc if the situation you are in starts to look dangerous or suspicious. Avoid being overloaded with stuff you are buying. Be efficient in getting your task done, like loading car with your purchases.
Exactly, don't trip over a dollar to grab a nickel is what my grandad used to say.
Again, as a fellon familiar with these situations, you're exactly right. Confidence being the big one here, regardless of size, shape or anything else, walk and act with Confidence, criminals look for easy victims, don't act like one, whether you are or not. Be cautious of looking around too much, that can convey nosey behavior, often better to look straight ahead or slightly below eye level, no need to make anyone think you're challenging them.
💯
Be aware, without looking for it
I am 59 years old 45 years of trauma And I met my wife, just celebrated 15 year anniversary. She keeps me grounded but I never ever let my guard down. I trust no one but my fault, I expressed myeself to much. But I have been working on it. Especially know a days. Thank you for the video. Im in the right track.
#1 BE aware of your surroundings!! Keep eyes and ears open. I agree with not attracting attention to yourself. All great advice. Thank you.
I 100% agree! I'm an extremely happy go lucky person and I find that predators mistake my cheerful disposition as some kind of weakness to be exploited. I have experienced that if I'm in a good mood I am more likely to be approached by villains but if I'm not in the mood for trouble the bad people will usually avoid me because I lack the energy to disguise myself as a domesticated person. I'm a 240 lbs athletic caveman and yet when I'm exuding a harmless and friendly body language and attitude, the predatorial people who are far less capable of violence than I am somehow think it's a good idea to target me. It is my belief that around certain men with primitive minds, kindness is a weakness that blinds them to all the other warning signs of violence. I suggest you wear the stripes of a tiger rather than the wool of the sheep unless you're actively trying to lure in the bad guys. Predators are opportunistic creatures who lack the honor of a warrior so they are looking for vulnerable prey. Present yourself as a high risk target and they'll slink away like cowards to find an easier target.
I actually like appearing to be friendly and vulnerable, so that they willingly reveal themselves. You know what they say, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Maybe I just have trauma or something that I am making excuses for, I'm not sure
Quickly showing fear or hate to a potential bully or mugger seems to ensure that they will elevate their hostility. Instead, stay cool and act like they are no different from you.
Thank you for this advice. Absolutely agree with all of it. I live in a politically angry area, so avoid talking politics with anyone I don't know, or let myself be heard about it by same. I vote by mail. I keep my phone in my pocket while running errands, looking all around me, from natural curiosity and for self preservation. I've learned to walk with calm, confident posture, which isn't always easy for someone with ADHD's constant sensory overload. As a woman, I dress comfortably but not too revealingly; I don't want to broadcast for attention I don't want. I'm lucky to be healthy enough to keep bicycling, dancing, and working outdoors. At an active 71, when there's safety, there's still lots of fun.
My mother used to treat the voting booth like the Confessional. She never told anyone how she voted, not even her husband. Seemed stupid then, but smart now.
As l dealt with an illness, I found people targeting me, if not just to bully. It’s really disturbing to me the lack of human compassion.
Same! I was at my lowest and it was like sharks came from the corners of the earth smelling blood. I never been bullied by so many family members, coworkers, “friends” in my life! It was horrifying and now that I’m strong again I have a whole new understanding of everyone around me. The human race genuinely is depraved and I’m now 100% convinced that not 1 person will escape eternity in Hell apart from repenting of their evil hearts and accepting the payment of Jesus Christ on the cross.
@@hangryturtle9006 That’s a great analogy of the sharks.,That’s exactly how it seems. I’ve not understood how many horrible people exist. And now. I trust no one, literally. Trust is earned and not quickly. But, it saddens me. What’s happened to humanity, that there are so many depraved people? One thing, I am really grateful that I have a heart. And empathy. And know how to use them. I’m grateful that I’ve helped others, friends and family along the way. Now, seeing how much they need it and how few people do.
@@hangryturtle9006I had your same experience. Dire illness, all of a sudden friends family everyone but the dog was taking liberties. It's disgusting. No sick person needs that.
Probably the greatest gift was being bullied up to about 3rd grade, always a quiet kid,had a growing spurt,became a very good athelet but never forgot how it felt,I spent the rest of my life educating my kids and grandkids about defending others,I'm 6,1 250 but I'm 65 now so you have to wonder how things got this far.love this video,set with ur back to the wall in public, exercise situational awareness,be kind, humble, vigilant,good stuff Sir.
Wow I'm 6 ft 2 and 175 lbs and athletic you must be out of shape no offense
this past july, i drove from Tennessee to Maine. for a couple weeks, to visit my sister. i was alone. as i was leaveing, my daughter asked why i was wearing those heavy cowboy boots and jeans in this heat. i said , cause in the middle of the night, while pumping gas in the middle of nowhere, and somebody wants to mess with me, i don't want to be in shorts and flipflops, trying to defend myself. also had on a sleeveless button down shirt, and a grungy straw cowboy hat. to make myself as intimidating as possible. look like someone you don't want to mess with. and in fact i am someone you don't want to mess with.
I move through social circles easily, cause I'm a musician who can take requests from anyone anywhere and with a single listen on the phone play almost any song for anyone. As you can imagine, I generally get a lot of positive surprised feedback. But listening to you reminds me of how dangerous putting your inner self out to the world at large can be. Thanks for the heads up.
I used to be a security guard and I would actually make like I wasn't paying attention on my phone so I could catch people 😉
Yeah but that beer gut did make it hard for you to actually catch em, i mean if they run you are not getting them.... we all have see mall cops the movie....
@@ntal5859 not a Mall cop don't smoke drink or do drugs
@@ntal5859 don't have a beer gut don't use drugs don't smoke
Catch and Release = good tactics which is now universal.
Sometimes, I confuse being a good neighbor with being too friendly, and i can see how this could be making myself a target.
LOL. People are definitely more paranoid than ever before.
😮
With neighbors you're kind of stuck there together. It's good to be on good terms with them. Just have appropriate boundaries.
@@grumylynn yeap me to
Number three is very important, and it even applies to larger people. I try to be aware and even make very brief eye contact with people, and especially people who I have a "feeling" about in public. Just to let them know I'm aware of their presence. I'm not talking about staring or anything, but a very brief eye contact and then I continue to scan. I think sometimes people who mean harm to us are looking to see if they're even "visible" to us, and by doing this it's letting them know that you're aware of them. Another great video man, thank you for this.
As a small elderly woman the key for me was carrying myself as not to be noticed, ( gray man), head on a swivel and acting as if I didn’t notice the drug addled insane lunatics. Eye contact or reacting to their weirdness would trigger them.
Yes, I agree with you my friend! Vulnerability attracts predators to the preys! Let us not show the enemy that false sense vulnerability for them!
Great advice the only thing I would add is develop a survivor mindset. Look for threats don’t assume everyone is wonderful just because you want to think that way
What a great channel!. Once I got out of a very dangerous situation which could have gone very bad. I pretended to know Kempo Karate by assuming the fighting stance and the perpetrator backed off.
Agree with all that. I am a 65 yr old Australian in Melbourne and ok fit wise. Been in Law enforcement and security all my adult life. These days, more than ever in this environment we are in I am aware of danger and am prepared with a plan of action for most events possible. Have a plan in your head and never be surprised. Just the opposite expect danger and have a game plan ready to put into action.
Thanks Daniel for the advice. I find that looking people in the eye sometimes makes people angry, but at other times averts possible troubles. I've heard that on the streets the only one who will look you in the eye are criminals and cops.
Agree with all points; especially the third.
I’m a small guy, but I have never once been a victim of bullying (there were attempts, of course) but these episodes normally fizzle out before they got serious.
I spent 5 years in boarding schools where bullying was the norm, and I found it a bit weird how guys bigger (and smaller) than me allowed themselves to be bullied. To me, backing off when your rights are being undermined was simply not an option.
30 years later, now I’m working in an office environment, and these points still hold true. Those who are too timid, or too loud will become easy targets (now the threats are verbal/ mental instead of physical when i was growing up).
There are plenty of people who get satisfaction from using/ imposing their whims on you; and if you let them, they will.
4:15: I have also discovered that if you look like you belong, and like you know where you are going (this is how you carry yourself), people are unlikely to question you, even in a somewhat restricted area. It also helps if you have a tool pouch or a clipboard.
Owning and handling a working dog like my Belgian Malinois, who I’ve had since she was 2 months old, has completely transformed my perspective. She’s incredibly smart and high-functioning, so I’ve had to stay super alert and aware. This awareness has translated into my work environment too. Recently, a fellow employee tried to harass me, but because I’ve trained myself to stay respectful and aware, I handled the situation appropriately. It’s important to walk with confidence and purpose and always show respect, as you never know what someone else might be going through.
Thank you. Autistic 49 year old woman who was diagnosed 8 years ago. I already knew all the things you pointed out, but hearing your words solidified that it is completely fine to cut people out of your life, if it drains you.
Sometimes, we Tey to people-please and forget that we have needs, too!
I have few friends. They are the same friends I had as a teenager. Most of them, male. As musicians we have mass respect for each other. My weak spot is female friends. They either expect me to be their social worker/ mother figure or want me to change because I am reclusive
I, now, look at potential friendships like a psychopath haha as in, does this benefit me? Is this person draining me and encroaching on my personal, private space? Is there always drama around this person?
It's cold, but it helps. Even good people drain you when they expect you to be their care giver.
Cell phones. I was on the Santa Monica City College campus and saw a student taking photographs. I inquired. He was doing a project of taking photographs of people on cell phones. Not one of students was aware of what was going on around him or her. This is the campus where a guy had killed a couple of people a mile away and engaged in a gun fight on campus several years ago.
Not standing out. You cannot do two things at once. You can not talk and act or think. This is taught in OODALOOP classes. For example, the bad guy has a gun pointed at you with his brain saying "do not fire". If you get him to start talking, you have an advantage. So, I listen . . . A bad guy does not have to be trained in OODALOOP to understand that a flashy talker is at a disadvantage.
Yes on posture. Something else. A guy in sandals can not move very fast. A gal in high heels is not going to run after anyone. The overweight hausfrau or the pregnant male aged 44 who played football 30 years before is not going to last long in a fight.
When you stand, do not put your hands in your pockets, even if it is cold. Fold your fingers and rest them on the pocket of the pants. If you have to lean on something, lean with you back against a wall. When you are in a restaurant, don't position your back to the entrance.
Great advice.
I don't know if you consider Chacos as sandals, but let me assure you that they permit high performance. I run, hike, climb rocks, bike, drag canoes over rocks in rivers, etc. They look like sandals to the unaware.
In a restaurant. Sit with your back to the wall if you have to sit in a chair.
I always stay a alert buddy and I watch behind my back making sure nobody is following me day or night
This. Try to glance backwards occasionally when walking outside.
Same. I get uncomfortable when I get comfortable. ;-]
I agree. Be alert, aware, non confrontational, project strength, if not physically strong then develop and project psychological strength and determination.
All 3 are great advice but as a woman that last one no.3 is LEGIT! I have stopped quite a few attacks from happening to me just by how I walk and stand when in public.
Alert , strong walk and eyes locked with a no nonsense glare at any person around me acting squirrely ,it was enough for them to get the message! Last person was an obvious drug addict looking for trouble..he thought twice!
Arrogance and confidence are next door neighbors. Be aware of your surroundings and observe people. And as the famous Gambler song goes "know when to hold them, know when to fold them.."
If you decide to "fold" be careful about how you go about doing so. Like a fish trying to get away from a shark, there are certain ways of doing things that actually *increase* someone's awareness of you when you're trying to create distance.
A relaxed attitude of casual awareness paired with a mindset to “take action” and be ruthless if I have to works for me.
Constant awareness is borderline hyper vigilance and it opens the gates to anxiety and trouble.
It’s important to save your energy for when you really need it.
We are not in a constant conflict zone.
Real world, real time situational awareness.
As a woman on my own I’ve travelled to many countries safely, without fear and enjoyed meeting k’s of people from all walks of life.
My brother was incarcerated in a county jail in Pennsylvania in the early 1970s for about one year. I asked him how he was able to avoid getting jumped or abused (raped) while in jail. He said he had to quickly develop violent type demeanor and stood his ground (not starting fights but not backing down either) that earned him a reputation as basically a crazy, not-taking-shit from anyone person. It got to the point that he started protecting newly arriving in-mates that came to him for help. He said it was a reputation that saved him during his time there.
I did the same thing thru four marriages.
In the penitentiary talking too much, especially about yourself is a bad idea
@@mikejohn0088 4 😂😂😂😂😂
@@mikejohn0088 😅
@@davidbooher5559 he didn't talk about himself. My point is he developed a reputation for not taking crap from any other inmate during his time there. Other people did the talking; he didn't need to say anything.
This is a Great Truth !!!!! Being More quiet is a big one also.
I’ve seen people walking with a cane, or with a leg brace or other apparatus. Don’t be fooled. Some are very defensive and can take care of themselves. But others can’t. You don’t know. Bad guys will target these people. If you’re in that position, prepare to take care of business!
Ted Bundy was notorious for wearing a fake, broken arm cast.
@@WarriorPoet54 Yea, but he was the predator, not the prey.
Excellent advice - appreciated. I'm 69 and wouldn't feel safe walking around without my service dog, but even then I do what you recommend - situational awareness!
Shoes. I was taught by a London man to wear lace up shoes. We never know when we have to run !
I used to wear slip ons or sandels. Dropped the heels years ago but thought I was good to go.
Ever seen a scene where people had to flee ( a mass shooting for instance)... so many shoes everywhere.
I was in London in 2017 when the terrorists killed people and they had to run (on a busy street).
All those shoes left behind.
Its a rule now when I leave home.
Tie the laces tight and double knot them.
Spot on. I can't tell you how many people I walk by downtown with their nose in their phone. Couple other ideas come to mind: Impairment - if you're high or drunk, you're not aware (or as aware) of your environment. Also, along the lines of being too loud or expressive, I would say to pick your battles wisely. If there are loud voices in your general area, either from someone drunk or deranged (or just a couple obnoxious bros), best to stand a bit further away. Obviously, if someone vulnerable is being targeted and harassed, you have the moral high ground to intervene. There is a lot of nuance to every situation, so I try to play the what-if scenarios in my head first.
Yes, situational awareness is definitely a great one to advise. Due to having lived in an apartment located in a bad part of our city, I know full well about this. I'm a small female (my fiance loves to mess with me by calling me a tiny person). Thankfully he's taught me ways to protect myself. However, if you don't stay aware of your surroundings, that makes you an easy target.
I have to say you are bang on with your assessments, I find people in general have become easy targets floating around through life with earphones and cell phone and not paying attention to the world around them.
Positive , Valuable information and knowledge. Thank You so much. Keep spreading the word brotha.. Every smiling face isn't truly friendly..
Watch how a shark stalks his prey. They stay back and observe then cautiously move closer to assess their prey. They are observing for all the things mentioned in this video. They size you up and determine your disposition before striking. Classic predator behavior. Predators want to be at a safe advantage before they strike. Any of these factors mentioned would likely cause the predator to back off. To move on to softer targets. A predator likes to bet on sure things they are not much into risking their own safety to make an attack.
There is a balance. Predators very, very selectively choose the weak. But, they don’t want another predator in their territory, and sometimes they perceive a powerfully confident individual as competition. That happens to me far more often than being chosen as prey, and I really don’t like it. In fact, number 2 includes this idea!
🎆 ~ Methheads tweaking are different - they're always extremely unpredictable & dangerous. Lotza cases in my region - deady cases of targeted innocent people in all kinds of scenarios. ~ 💖
As a hiker, I’ve encountered bears. You can’t out run one. Standing still and silent might be the best option. Making lots of noise and waving a limb or something might be effective. Bear mace is a last resort. As always, thank you.
Bear mace often times merely angers a bear. If you are in bear country and do not carry an equalizer like an appropriate gun or guns, you are inviting your death.
Great presentation : God Bless. I do all the things you mention. Be aware of your surroundings, walk confidently, short statement, "good morning, God Bless", Be prepared to counter any threat. Do not walk talking to your cell phone. Also, know how to counter any attacker or attackers. Get down to business quickly.
I call it "scanning for bears, with eyes and ears"... an expression we used out on the trails. No distractions, no unnecessary conversation, purposeful walking, constant 180 scanning and regular 360s. And, of course, non-stop "spidey senses". Pay attention to everything.
Many people assume that silent people are ignorant and stupid. This is not always the case.
I'm a person of color who lives with my wife in a nice suburban area. Since I stand out ,(I'm also tall) I make an effort to watch where I am. I try not to make any eye contact with anyone that I don't have any business with on a daily basis. I keep my head up but also keep my eyes forward, and I mind my own business.
How tall are you if you don’t mind saying so ?
It’s sad that you just cannot be yourself in a minority situation.
When I'm in the Walmart parking lot I'm always amazed at the amount of people walking around with their faces stuck in their phones. We're easy picking for the border gang
Agreed!! I’ve noticed that too.
Okay...
I never use my phone in public or rather when I'm walking
So true. I don't own a "smart phone." never will. I have a flip phone for emergencies only. Yes, I'm an old fart.
The border gang?
Border crossers, illegals
Great video always learning, i have managed to carry myself a lot better as i gotten older. I was out today at a fair and so many people looking down at their phones not looking where they are going and quite often will bump into people. This will agrivate people and make you a target just by being complacent.
Ty Daniel for sharing ur knowledge with us. We all need to learn. None of us know everything. I love knowledge and research all the time. I so appreciate ppl teaching me something. Learning is a lifelong journey.
My father was a scout leader and trained all his kids including me to be aware of what's around you at all times. He taught us all to keep a "bug-out bag" and what to put in it. He was trained in wilderness survival, but we never went with him when he did that and I don't know much about it. I do know how to identify animal tracks and what to wear and bring with you on a hike or camping. I'm lucky to have had the training I did. These days you can take classes in wilderness survival, but what you're talking about here is urban survival, and that's something that no one taught about when I was growing up. I think there are classes for it now.
You're spot on Sir. I make it clear I dont want to fight. Secondly. If persistent I shout load to draw attention just in case I have to protect myself. This is for witnesses.Im 72 years if age and and always try to prevent provocation. I'll rather walk away if possible. I wouldnt suggest this if the aggressor has a weapon, rather run if possible. It's an awareness choice one must make. I can't do what I done years ago but 5 days a week I do excercise. I'm blessed and thankful. Thanks for your videos.
All of this really good advice good information I found in my years of experience to let the loud man continue to be loud he’s concentrating on himself rather than what he needs to be doing the quiet man usually prevails
Very good points. If you look beat down, you are really an easy target. Don't walk like you are under the "moon light" Don't park your car in isolated area away from the other cars.
I. Agree100 % being an ex boxer and bouncer in london for many years what you said is spot on..
I am a retired building inspector. Most of my time with the City, I worked in rough, scary neighborhoods. I always told new hires:
A) walk like you know where you’re going. ( on a mission)
B) know what’s behind you
C) never mind what’s on your phone.
Additional tip: I always wore a black rubber watch, worth about $20. Nothing anyone would jump me for.
P.S. -- I usually carried a three-cell Maglite. It was heavy, made of metal, and would have made a decent billyclub if push came to shove.