Worst Times Criminals WROTE DOWN Their Crimes...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 มิ.ย. 2021
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Not only have you been reading them for like a year they were around for a bit more than a year before l. So yeah your right it's not new.
Simon I live in the Netherlands, my brother killed his then younger brother while both intoxicated and he got 5 years with another 5 or perole.
Our justice system is fucked.
Simon, just get on with it...
Unless Sam made those blurbs in your Magellan ad read, you need to tell them to proofread. "Experienced" is misspelled.
Magellan is awesome, (sorry I already got it, I think it was from Mega Projects’s though). BB is the beat though, AM I RIGHT PETER!!!
When Casual Criminalist meets Blaze Boy
Roll out of bed, commit some random crimes and end up on Maga projects.. Lol
Casual Blaze Criminalist Boy.
I love Simon's mashups...
Casual Blaze? Or Criminalist Boy?
CASUAL BLAZE , BOY!
Business Blaze: Death isn't funny.😢
Casual Criminalist: Death is hilarious!😆
On Tuesdays, he swaps those.
@@oracleofdelphi4533 Yep, on Tuesdays it's Murder Blaze and Business Casual
Well, only if the victim died a long time ago. Then, it's ok to laugh (?)
Literally, every episode of the Casual Criminalist.
It's amazing. (That people write down their murders. Not the show.)
@@brainblaze6526 the show is pretty awesome and we'll done too
@@brainblaze6526 The rumor says that the "Blaze" stands for the Blazer you wear...allegendly
@@brainblaze6526 I guess that makes this episode O.G.C.C? 😅
@@brainblaze6526 why question yourself? You did the math immediately and got it right then you thought about it and got it wrong 😂
0:07:40 "Why was I so CRINGE in the past?"
Because the past was the worst!
MERCH!
@@___LC___ And you can purchase that merch at purchthemerch!
I can relate. I burned all my childhood diaries
Unfortunately you can't do the same with the internet
Business Blaze episodes are so long you need to add the hour to the time stamp, lol
@@light-master I know right? I thought it might help 😆
I gotta say, though, that nothing brightens my day more than an epic Blaze
I love how the cup is still on the floor from the last episode
You bet it is
@@DAD5447 Simons lazynes in Business blaze is a fine art
@@savejeff15 Business Blaziness
@@theveryworstluck1894 good one
It was recorded 5 minutes ago. So yeah, cleaning lady hasn't shown up yet.
Simon : wants fun criminals to roast
Danny : here's murder
Sam: on our side with the north Korea cut
Sam bout to release that video so he can get out of the basement when North Korea comes for Simon
Sam’s always on our side.
O.J. got it published but, the victims' families heard and stopped it. After the lawsuit, the families received all rights to the proceeds and were able to design cover so that the "If I'd done it" part was so small the title ended up as a confession. LEGENDARY
Lol isn’t it like “if *_I DID IT_* “
This should be illegal. He was found innocent by a jury of his peers in a US court of law.
@@AldrickExGladiusyes but that doesn't mean he gets to make money from writing a book like that.
It's a catch 22 your not allowed to make money writing exploitive fiction about real murder victims (without family permission) but to cliam it wasn't fiction is but fact (how media generally gets away with it well that or change the names which OJ also did not do) would be a confession for OJ.
@@AldrickExGladius OJ was found liable for the wrongful death of Ron Goldman in a civil lawsuit. OJ was ordered to pay more than $30 million. The Goldmans were given the “If I Did It” book rights in order to satisfy part of the settlement.
@@AldrickExGladiusmoney talks in courtrooms you know damn well he ain’t innocent
Danny's Headmaster: "Don't write it down, Danny"
Adult Danny becomes a writer.
Problems with authority Danny?
Can you do a Business Blaze episode on times it wasn't ghosts? Times ghosts were blamed for stuff and turned out not to be ghosts.
I remember a show called Paranormal Home Inspector that was mostly a dude going through haunted houses saying "this room is always cold and drafty because you put a dresser on top of the heading vent." Or telling people those footsteps they hear are mice.
@asdrubale bisanzio nah, it was old man Wilson. Scooby Doo sniffed him out.
Or goats for that matter. There's an innumerable amount of times where goats were captured and sentenced to jail time, because people though the criminal had shape shifted into the specific goat and refused to shape shift back so they could be tried. Thus they had to sentence the goat. I kid you not. Here's an example from Daily Mail. The article is from 2009:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127012/Police-arrest-goat-accused-armed-robbery.html
@@Arterexius that story definitely belongs on Business Blaze
i would have gotten away with it if it wasnt for the meddling bald man
I love when these end up being a one-sided conversation between Fact Boi and Danny. You know, because Danny is ball-gagged and chained in the corner of the Blazement.
The BLAZEMENT🔥
Petition to force Simon to never again not call it the Blazement!!
true
"Danny is ball-gagged and chained"
Well that got kinky fast.
ALLEGEDLY!!
"I just like digging holes..." As excuses go, that's not a very good one.
In all fairness, I can’t think of a better one. It’s very hard to explain digging a shallow grave in the woods behind your house that doesn’t look really suspicious
@@mollywantshugs5944 maybe digging them for 2-stage composting? 😅
It reminds me of a joke Reginald D Hunter made. It was about Joseph Fritzl, an absolute monster, he kept his daughter in a sex dungeon that he built himself under his house. She got to have children and siblings during her time in there... like I said, dude was a monster, anyway, and I'm paraphrasing, the comedian said he was impressed no one questioned what Fritzl was doing with enough building supplies to build a dungeon. And how he would probably panic when asked "Reginald? What you doing with all that wood?"
As someone who actually dug a hole for fun as a teen, that was close.
@@chaosreaver3597 Reginald D Hunter goes on to use a batman quote, (to beat fear you need to become fear) but Reginald says to beat Fritzl you have to become Fritzl 😂🤣😂🤣
I unfortunately went to school with Alyssa Bustamante from 2008 up until she was arrested for murder.
In 2008 the school locker I was assigned too was directly next to hers, and after a few days she creeped me out so much because she was so weird, like she cut herself in the back of class on the very first day of school in 2008. After a few days of that I asked my buddy if I could he could share his locker with me since his was on the other side of the building just so I would be farther away from her.
The group of friends I hung out with all got weird vibes from her. I remember one time, I was telling a few of them I felt like she was the type to be a school shooter. I didn’t really see many people bully her or anything. I know I was always nice to her if she ever tried to say anything to me because I didn’t want to be on her bad list if she ever did try to be a school shooter.
When she was arrested for the murder, the rumor went through the school so quickly that they had arrested someone from the school for the murder of the little young girl Elizabeth Olten, but no one knew who exactly they had arrested. We later found out it was her and myself along with many others weren’t that surprised tbh.
Don't tell people that... sell your story to Netflix instead 😉
lmao, when the fear of being on the "bad list" of a possible school shooter is more effective than every anti bullying campaing togheter XD
Heavy
I'm a generation older than you, Columbine happened 7 years after I graduated HS. It's interesting. We had the kids who were obviously troubled. However, "school shooter," wouldn't have been how we described them. Tbh, I can't remember what we thought was going on there. But the upper end of bad stuff going down was a fist fight.
@@jamesoverholt878 I graduated the year columbine happened and we had those weird kids too, but never thought much about it since school shootings just weren't a thing yet. As an adult I assume they had a shitty home life and never learned how to be social because of bad role models. I hope none went on to do horrible things... but the kid who filed all his teeth into points, I'm not sure about that guy.
"Don't write down your crimes"
Says the man who actively mentions his prisoner(s) in the basement
“Allegedly.”
FINALLY! BEST ONE EVER! ISN'T THAT RIGHT PETER?
NO.
AM I RIGHT PETER?
Red Solo cup falls due to Blaze Boy shouting
@@darkangel21892 I'm glad commenters are keeping the fallen cup alive as a meme
I watch Simon's videos to improve my english vocabulary and listening skills.(it's not my mother tongue). Now everytime I read something in English , I do it with Simon's voice in my head. I can't help it.
Oh dear, you do know that his pronunciations are notoriously bad right?
May god help you... And good wishes 👍
@@morrigan191 You beat me to it.. intentionally bad pronunciation.
And which native speaker doesn’t play with the language for effect? Be gone idiots, he covers all sorts of weird shit and would definitely provide good coverage for new vocab and idiom.
@@morrigan191 Approximately 100% of native English speakers have terrible pronounciation and roughly 99.9% of nonnative speakers.
For each English speaker there is at least one who despises the pronounciation/accent.
Who else thinks we need a "AM I RIGHT PETER!" tshirt.
Simon make it happen
I'd totally buy that! And only blaze fans will know what it means and have. A grin on their face when they see mile wearing it
I’d buy that in a heartbeat
😎 Oh yeah! I’d buy that shirt! And a sticker…coffee cup…beard oil…cologne…
I was thinking this just the other day!! I pictured it with a side silhouette of Simon, with his head tilted back some and the text looking like he shouted it out. What do you guys think??
I'd suggest a least a sticker but they're so expensive Simon, doesn't want us to buy them. 🤷♀️
The most memorable would be that government official who was expecting to be pardoned by trump, so he wrote down all of his crimes
Joel Greenburg, Florida tax collector, friend and associate of Representative Matt Gaetz.
Vlou 13 😂👊🏼😝
Damn.
@@levilandes1719 Woah, I just read that guys Wikipedia page. He's like a shitty batman villain.
@@brainblaze6526 Allegedly - but, yeah. Read Gaetz’s when you have a few spare minutes. 🤯
Sam's use of race cars for Simon groaning is amazing lol.
Fun fact: If you commit a crime you don't need to write it down. Just get the news paper for the next couple days, your crime will be recorded *_for_* you there.
What newspaper?
@@joelellis7035 the underlying goal of all crime is to commit a crime so big that you’re written about in every paper. very competitive good luck to all participants!
@gz5405 no, the underlying goal of a crime is to get away with it. The best way to do that is by not being conspicuous.
I like that you put the Ad Read right after Danny’s enormous intro. Really shows just how long they are 😂
truth
my friends' (they are twins) father told them before the graduation party: "guys, about drinking...." , one of them said: "we know, dad, we won't drink too much... " he said: "no no no, tuck you tie into your pants before you vomit into the toilet, that way you won't puke on it"
24:23 When your inside jokes are so good even the host doesn't catch them. 🤣
15:25
Simon: "for every day that she behaves well in prison, she gets 2 YEARS off."
Me: wait wat
Wait, she could be out in 8 days!, 🤔 or Simon mis spoke
Out in a week
It's for every good day, she get two days off. So if she behaves/doesn't get caught, she is out in 1/3 of her sentence.
@@philvanderlaan5942 it would 7.5 days, but since a full day would count for 2 years and a half day counts as nill, its 8 days
@@Nakahat01
I think it depends on what they mean by 1 good means two days, but if I’m remembering this correctly, sentence reductions go from the release date backwards and if so, for each day she’s good, they take two days off the end of the sentence; she’d serve a minimum of 5 years if this is the case.
Sam, one day don't add any memes. It'll be gold when Simon says "sprinkles some fine vintage memes" then silence. Business blaze gold!
Simon records several of these videos in one day, so take two and make one an endless stream of memes but none in the second.
@@razz1166 This would be fun. Also I want an episode where every meme clip/interjection is a clip of Simon from other episodes/channels
Imagine if someone goes into the great grandparents house when having to clean it after passing away and find out that they were related to Jack the Ripper from a journal hidden behind a fake wall
That shit would be burned so fast. No one be like, "OMG my grandpa was Jack the Ripper!". Everyone be like, "BURN THE WHOLE HOUSE DOWN"
@@brainblaze6526 either that or donate to museum anonymously so history can be known
I feel like a whole lot of therapy would be involved as well.
Didn’t this actually happen? Where someone claimed they found an old journal that revealed who Jack the Ripper was? I dunno, I listen to so much true crime it all blends together.
The race car footage with Simon making noises got me good, brilliant!
Feels like we missed a Danny wtf when Danny revealed his trophy sabotage
"Wednesday mince day" is called like that because butchers in the Netherlands used to make minced meat on wednesday using leftover meat from the previous days. Klinkhamer used this as a double or even triple title; a mince day, or "gehaktdag" alludes also to getting retribution or revenge.
That's a cool little detail.
"Skull in the Garden" is a good name for a band.
Simon *creates Casual Criminalist to cover crime stories*
Danny *he-man meme* "I work here now"
Simon beginning to read out “make a personal recommendation” during the Magellan ad reminds me of the clip of Kevin Sorbo yelling out “disappointed!” Instead of taking it as a stage direction
Lmfao that zoom in on the skull though 🤣😂 holy crap this had me rolling!
Funny how just now 800 criminals found out they had been using an FBI operated messaging service to olot their crimes.
I love that Peter's cup hat is still on the floor 😂
I always cringe when I go back and hear a recording of myself. I think, "This is what everyone else hears? She sounds like a very handsome woman."
If it makes you feel any better, I just listened to a recording of my husband of 20 years talking the other day, and it sounds nothing like he does in real life.
I was a paramedic and had to retrieve a recording of a call from dispatch.....I sounded like a 12 year old, casually asking for a helicopter to fly over my tea party with Mrs. Nesbit......
I’m 55 and I still get asked if my “Mommy is home” when I answer the phone...”I don’t know, call her house!” Click. 🙄😂
When Danny first got his request for this episode he asked"Are you sure this wasn't meant for cell C?"
Yeah, Callum and Jen are in the next dungeon on the right.
Not a Lawyer, just an enthusiast, but the concepts of 'loopholes' in the law have always interested me.
Double Jeopardy, which not all countries have by the way, creates a whole bunch in and of itself!
Putting aside a lot of them, and focusing on the 'can I write a book afterwards?' element, my answer would always be - NO!
Double Jeopardy does not make it so all possible prosecution stemming from a single action can no longer can be brought forth. Prosecutors can use the book you just wrote to locate additional evidence, which can then be used to cement a conviction for one of those additional charges. It might also raise the possibility of them successfully appealing the verdict, should that additional evidence show some serious 'due process' violations in the original court case....
In the USA, double jeopardy exists but being tried by the government of the state you are in is not the same thing as being tried by the federal government (see the dual sovereign doctrine). So if the law broken violates both sets of laws, you can be tried separately for the crime by each government.
The OJ Simpson book actually has a pretty funny story attached. The name of the book is "If I did it confessions of the killer" on the cover, the word "if" is in like typeface size 8 and inside the "I" where as the rest of the title is so big it takes up the middle half of the cover, so it just looks like "I did it" in big black letters with a tiny red dot in the top of the "I". Legendary publisher.
That actually wasn't the original cover. The one that OJ made had all block lettering that was the same size. However, when his murdered wife's family sued him for her murder, they won and received all money that he would ever get from his sports career (American Football). After he wrote the book, her family sued again and won the rights to the book. They then changed the cover to the one that you were describing. They also added the subtitle "Confession of the Killer".
Danny always brings it home. Brilliant writing as always
Thinking about my old teachers is a trip, it's weird to think that somewhere Mr Mackenzie has already forgotten how he helped me develop my own taste in music, or Mr Cully who actually took an interest and taught us what we wanted to learn. Shout-out to teachers who actually know how impactful they are in a kid's life
Love 28 baby!! I just appreciate how consistently entertaining & somewhat educational the Blaze is. Danny, I feel like I know you. Sam, just from your references I feel like I know you too. You were referencing Coming to America a year before it was cool. Thank you for giving me something to look forward too🙏
So, merch idea:
A design with Simon dressed up as a stereotypical bank robber standing in front of a blackboard that has a sentence written in bold and underlined:
“DON’T WRITE DOWN YOUR CRIMES”
Danny writing his own in-joke that Simon didn't get is my favorite part of this video 😂 with the chimera fertility doctor joke, cannottt
I've lost count of how many channels you have, but I enjoy your energy here, you let rip, you swear, I'm here for it truly I am.
“it’s hard to stop watching when you start” has been the story of my life for the past two years with today i found out
You have to wonder how many times Simon gets ready to record and forgets which channel's content he is supposed to be making. I'd love to see some outtakes and bloopers from you, Simon!
We want bloopers!
We want bloopers!
Come on, everyone!
WE WANT BLOOPERS!
WE WANT BLOOPERS!
Yes!
I am just starting to watch the video but hopefully he will mention Amok. A novel detailing the life of a serial killer... written by an actual serial killer.
I love how Simon is literally talking about murder while the cutesy business blaze music plays in the background
This channel is so good and Simon whipping Danny forces him to write multiple scripts every week for us. Crazy how much content for a channel that's only got 266k followers atm.
2 Days off - For ever 1 good day... Literally 1/3 of the time served... Divide it like a 10 year old SIMON
Omg I did the same thing in Prep (first year of Aussie schooling). Couldn’t think of anything to write so write about going to see a movie with my sisters, just plucked a movie name out of what I’d seen ads for on tv. Next day my parents, sisters, and me, in the teacher’s office asking why they’d let me see such an inappropriate film. Didn’t want to cop to it at that early age so claimed it was my other sisters who only visited me at night sometimes. Whole room of adults packed up laughing.
Joke’s on them, still get birthday cards from my vampire sisters to this day.
:D haha
One of the coolest/intersting things a teacher ever did. Was while studying programing in Islamabad Pakistan a few months after graduating from high school in Halifax, Nova Scotia. While try to get over the culture shock of living in a small Canadian city/town and now being in Isbad. My grads where slipping so the teacher (who funny enough didn't speak a word of English me with little to no Urdu we always had a hard time with communication, but a really nice guy none the less). Antway my grads where slipping so one day after class. The teacher and my friend called me over, when the teacher gave me about 15 grams of hash. Saying my grads are not good this is good hash it will help. I was ..ok...humm yeah thank and all that. IT was good hash .
Lmfaoooooo
I remember the OJ thing being a joke before he even released his book. It was surreal to see it actually happening.
The best part is that the Goldmans (parents of Ron, who was murdered with Nicole) were determined to be entitled to get all the profits after he lost their civil suit against him, and they had the title "If I Did It" put on the cover with "if" super tiny, so it just looked like "I DID IT."
"I had to go to jail for being a knob!" - Every criminal ever, probably.
Allegedly.
21:47, I love how Simon is talking about, DNA is gonna find you…”, when the whole video is about people who got caught for leaving a written record.
Nothing beats Razzlekahn. Had a bag full of phones labeled "burner phones"
The way the American penal system works, your first day you walk in with enough points to only serve half your sentence. Along with programming (going to school, working, addiction counselling etc) they can earn enough points to get out after 1/3 of their sentence is served. So an 15yo psychopath could take a 2nd degree murder charge for 99y and technically be out when they’re 48.
Peter's cup hat is still on the floor, poor Peter not getting any love between videos :(
Simon,
When you find a skull, you *do* keep digging.
Sincerely,
Every Archaeologist ever.
i love that one of his catch phrases is “what are you up to” when 99% of the time the answer is murder. they are up to murder
Gettin blazed with the blaze.
Nice.. Dont loose focus..
I’m now glad for my father having me do a lot of landscaping and yard work as a child. I have always been able to dig a deep hole without complaint.
I learned my business law professor doesn't check my lies when I turned in watching business blaze for extra credit and got approved. Thanks Simon, Danny and Sam!
He probably watches it too 🤣
I love how all of your channels are bleeding into each other! 😂. Casual Criminalist Meets Business Blaze!
Mega projects: having a giant collection of YT channels.
I'm with Sam on this one!!! #releasethenorthkoreacut
I love that the red party cup fell off in a previous episode and is still on the floor! Danny obviously hasn't been let out of the basement to clean the studio yet
Glory to Magellan, the most glorious of all documentary services!
When the ogbb memes are too deep even for the ogbb
Writing down your crimes? That's as bad as talking about your cocaine habit on TH-cam!
“Allegedly”
Mr. Pearson recognizes a future criminal. "Danny, don't write down your crimes" bahahahaha!!! LEGEND
Hoo Lee Sheet Danny!! Great script and references 👏
Adorable host
Never stop adding those silly reactions
I love how Simon's version of an IQ test includes questions about violent crime and prison sentences...
Just watched the intro and wondering whether any of the stories will beat Danny's Knobhead story.
I love it when Simon reads a Business Blaze reference in the script and then has no idea what the reference is to.
I've always wanted to see a collab between the two of you! CC + BB!
When you’re smoking and all of a sudden hear Austin, Tx and go oh shit that’s not far away from me 😂
This explains why Simon doesn't bring up the basement dungeon anymore.
I really appreciate the atmosphere we created in the studio today.
Sam, refreshing the memes. The mclaren f1 groan was amazing.
SIMON: Who survived being stabbed twenty-one times?
Me: Not Julius Caesar that's for sure.
I love it when Simon is just like STOP WRITING IT DOWN... yelling it to the void
Danny with the triple callback, Simon with the whoosh.
Just what I needed to watch before bed. Simon & Danny are absolute legends!! Very humble indeed. Cheers!!
0:19 - Simons introduces today's sponsor while letting one rip. Classic!
Legend!
The zoom in on Peter. 🤣😂🤣
"Death isn't funny" also Simon makes jokes on Casual Criminalist which is almost entirely dedicated to murder
I thought this was going to be about like quirky crimes, then got dark real quick 😳 Danny, to start with his own story of prank calls, then turns to murder stories... is Danny trying to tell us something 😅
Do a Casual Criminalist on OJ! Or a Business Blaze, then Sam could meme the crap out of it
Never thought one of my suggestions would be here. Thanks!
Love the editing
That cup is still on the floor lmao
When the OG Business Blaze memes are so OG not even Simon gets them.
Watching Simon struggle with 1 day:2days math was great. The answer is she can end up serving 1/3 of her sentence if she's good every day. She'd serve 1 out of every 3 days. Honestly tho, this is the kind of logic-puzzle thing I do a lot and Simon's confusion almost confused me.
To be fair he got the right answer right away when he said so it’d be 5 years but then got confused when Danny said it could be less than half instead of saying it could be a third
The moment you understand an OGBB joke and Simon doesn’t.
The Casual Criminalist Blaze! I've been hoping for this for so long!
Samuel was on the fire today!!
Wanna say LOVE the thumbnail... 😆 "WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!"
So, Richard Klinkhamer 1937-2016) was the child of an Austrian maid who moved to the Netherlands to find a job, and a Dutchman.
His mother sent him away to his uncle in Austria when he was 3 years old, because she had divorced his father and Richard resembled him too much :/
After WW2 he saw his aunt get raped and his uncle put in shackles for having had Polish forced laborers on their farm. He was 8 at the time, and was put on a train back to the Netherlands, where his mother was in prison for colllaborating with the Nazis.
During the few years until she got out,
Richard was bounced between foster homes (which were definitely very unkind to children of collaborators, often punishing them for the horrors their parents had inflicted on others), and lived with the widow of his bio father for a while, after witnessing his death.
When his mum got out of prison, they traveled around a bit until she met a rich Swiss, to whom she introduced him as her nephew. She sent him away to live with his paternal uncle, getting him out of the way of her new relationship.
Completely f’d up childhood if you ask me, almost a miracle he made it so long without getting himself in prison for something or other.
After that some time in the army of sorts, desertion, and some time at sea. Owning a hostel, getting rich investing the profit of selling the hostel, going bankrupt during the recession in 1987.
By the time he went to prison for murder he was 70 years old. Probably got out not only for good behavior, but also because of health issues.
He had an interesting life in the way of the Chinese saying; may you live in interesting times... I almost feel he served his sentence for the manslaughter of his wife preemptively.
24:40 when you already forgot the subject of the last blaze you made 😂
Cracked me up!