Simon is a presenter. Other people research and write what he dramatically reads. He's just got an accent that makes us think he is clever. It's his schtick and just clever enough.
Sam is becoming the real Da'vinci of editing, new level achieved with each epizode, I hope Simon gave him at least a pillow to the basement as a reward.
Wishful thinking. I dread more more hours of slaving away, as if Danny had much rest time... His Tyrant, chipping away on any crumbs of D's free time. Only a miracle will save him... Bts, how and where is ETA ?
If you think about it, Business Blaze is just Danny reacting to a topic, then Simon reacts to what Danny is reacting to, with Sam reacting on top of Simon's reaction to Danny's reaction. This is a tri-reaction channel.
Yet all that is for us to react to and then the consequent reaction of the TH-cam algorithm. The bankers react to that which probably triggers a reaction from Simon's drug dealers. This in turn makes him blaze with the fury of a thousand greedy suns and gets him to coerce his captive writers into producing more topic reactions. Simon is a bit of a maniac when you stop to consider things. One day another TH-cam content provider that specializes in crime tales will probably recount his miserable spiral into addiction and then murder as he slowly gets corrupted and then driven to complete insanity. It is great viewing. His originally dubious moral compass started spinning a few years ago. Not too long to wait now I'd imagine. A few years tops.
Gotta say. Sam was absolutely on point with the editing in this one. Several legit laugh out loud, slap the knee moments. Well done. Well done, indeed.
Me: opens a business blaze video Simon: welcome to business blaze Me: *goes to get some water, do my workout, watch the synder's cut, makes love to my wife, takes a shower Simon: now let's get into it
Back in the '80s, someone broke into my coworker Janice's car in Queens, NY and stole the radio. It was an aftermarket radio that was hard to find. Janice eventually went to a downtown Manhattan neighborhood known for many cheap (and sometimes sketchy) electronics shops. She finally found a used radio that fit her car. When she installed it, she noticed a scratch just like one on her old radio. Then, she found that the program buttons were already set to her favorite stations. Against all odds, Janice had bought back her own stolen car radio!
"that pile of mess was organized in a very specific way" is a very relatable feeling. I hate when people mess up my mess by organizing it in a logical fashion.
There was a US (I think ) case months ago where a person came home from work to find someone had cleaned their entire house, with nothing missing. They called the police, and it turned out a neighbors had hired some cleaners, and they just got the address wrong.
There was an episode of the show COPS where someone called the cops for buying fake crack. When they questioned the dealer she said "I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute" It was beautiful.
Honestly before I started this I scrolled down to the comments, and having finished it I can confirm that Sam has unlocked a whole new level of memerical arts and I am HERE FOR IT
1) I would be very upset if someone broke into my house and snorted my dog's ashes. 2) I love how every new inside joke becomes an OGBB reference no matter how recent. xD
I've just realized, Business Blaze is like the typical business. Simon the middle man gets all the money and Danny is stuck in his basement. Brilliant!
I'd like to see an episode where everybody switches rolls. Like have Danny present, Sam write, and Simon meme. I'm not sure if it'd be any good good, but I think it would be pretty funny.
7:30 - Chapter 1 - No returns policy 10:10 - Chapter 2 - Snort burglary 13:05 - Mid roll ads 15:40 - Chapter 3 - The man who slipped up 19:00 - Chapter 4 - The man who defended himself 21:35 - Chapter 5 - Florida man executes perfect robbery...foiled by bad luck
Currently sitting in a hospital waiting on tests to see if my mom has had a stroke... Business Blaze is the only thing keeping me from breaking down and losing it completely. Love you guys!
Back when I was in retail management I also had a brain fart or two about the alarm code. Definitely not some of my finest moments. But hearing Simon had the same problem makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone.
Yes! Raise you voice and publicly shame those who litter! I know of one person who particularly despised smokers who littered their cigarette butts. He was fond of returning them to the rightful owner by tossing them, lit or not, back into the offenders vehicles. Maybe not the best approach (don't do that) but I expect that the holes in the vehicle interiors and associated diminished resale value were regular reminders.
18:55 To answer your question, the FBI gets involved on any bank robbery, no matter how minor because just about every bank account is insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC, which makes it a federal crime and gets it instantly passed up to them.
@@mangonel 😂Well I prefer to watch and laugh but however you like to enjoy your Blaze as long as you watch until the very end for that sweet sweet watchtime 😇or well inject all of the Blaze and don't leave out the end
The infamous Australian serial killer Ivan Milat was caught out by a similar outburst in court. The prosecutors were deliberately trying to provoke that kind of outburst, they were constantly asking him about the gloves he wore during his crimes, and where he disposed of them. He screamed at the courtroom "I didn't wear no..." and stopped, realising what he'd done.
to Sam and Danny. you do realize Simon can be replaced with a text to speech reader? lastly there are a ton of great online tutorials on getting rid of bodies.
🔥 BEST BLAZE BIT 🔥 "Danny I'll see about passing a new candle down to you if that one I sent last month has run out. I can't believe it's run out already. What are you doing? Burning it all the time? When you're not writing, BLOW IT OUT DANNY." 😆😂☠
My car was broken into a couple weeks ago. They snipped my battery cables and tried to yank the battery out but it was bolted down. They didn't think to use the tool box they stole from my trunk to remove the bolts 🤦🏻♀️ they also stole 50+ weed jars (I work at a dispensary) from my trunk. It makes me feel slightly better when I imagine their immense disappointment when they realize every single one of those were empty 😂
I laughed at that. I'm absolutely the sort of person who uses words like that at random and gets weird looks from my friends. However, Danny is just fucking around. Legend! 😎
"He knew the alarm code". More likely, he knew his own code. I was a restaurant manager and was in charge of getting alarm codes for newly hired/promoted supervisors and managers. Everyone had their own code that came from the company in a sealed envelope. Same with the safe, everyone got their own key and set their own personal code to open the safe. So the robbery still probably could've been tied back to him
I know I got no way of proving this 100% but this one time when my late grandma was alone in the house, a couple thugs showed up with guns (the only thing between them was this big sliding gate thing we had back then) they demanded money/to be let in and my grandma just deadass told them to fuck off saying "Im just an old woman. I dont have anything you want. leave."
Simon FYI bank robbery in the USA is a federal crime and the FBI is always the lead investigational agency for those crimes. They do tend to work in conjunction with local law enforcement agencies during those investigations, but they are the lead.
GET ON THAT SURFSHARK AY: Surfshark.deals/blaze
TIME TO BLAZE
Better check that small closet you have Simon you never know who might be lurking...
We need part 3
Never heard of Tears for Fears? You uncultured swine!
This is the only way Simon will be safe letting Danny and Sam on the internet, nobody can track that IP address and try to free them.
Simon: "My geography is terrible"
Also Simon: "Welcome to Geographics"
When your brain is so big you have to constantly cycle new information and forget the old stuff.
I like how he can say or record a video on a certain subject and retain absolutely nothing from it :0
🤣🤣🤣
Yes and im an Aussie and know where Burnley is but maybe coz my british family live near it
Simon is a presenter. Other people research and write what he dramatically reads. He's just got an accent that makes us think he is clever. It's his schtick and just clever enough.
"The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter. Hosted by VSauce"
OMG I CAN'T BREATH
"Quick revolt in the blazement". Sam, you're a genius.
"My Geography is terrible" says the man who has a Geography channel...
Simon, you absolute LEGEND!
When you yelled HEY PICK THAT UP!!!
My dog picked up his bowl. He is still confused as to why though. 😆
Haha quality.
Good boi.
Bestest Boi. Even your dog Blazes
Sam is becoming the real Da'vinci of editing, new level achieved with each epizode, I hope Simon gave him at least a pillow to the basement as a reward.
Wishful thinking. I dread more more hours of slaving away, as if Danny had much rest time...
His Tyrant, chipping away on any crumbs of D's free time.
Only a miracle will save him...
Bts, how and where is ETA ?
You and me, on the same page.
sam brings his own pillow...he's in the basement by choice, simon forces danny to be there
Just an extra change of straw.
Same page.
If you think about it, Business Blaze is just Danny reacting to a topic, then Simon reacts to what Danny is reacting to, with Sam reacting on top of Simon's reaction to Danny's reaction.
This is a tri-reaction channel.
Yet all that is for us to react to and then the consequent reaction of the TH-cam algorithm. The bankers react to that which probably triggers a reaction from Simon's drug dealers.
This in turn makes him blaze with the fury of a thousand greedy suns and gets him to coerce his captive writers into producing more topic reactions.
Simon is a bit of a maniac when you stop to consider things. One day another TH-cam content provider that specializes in crime tales will probably recount his miserable spiral into addiction and then murder as he slowly gets corrupted and then driven to complete insanity. It is great viewing. His originally dubious moral compass started spinning a few years ago.
Not too long to wait now I'd imagine. A few years tops.
Cocaine is AMAZING, allegedly…
Don’t know what kind of crazy juice “Bell End” fed Danny and Sam, but this was an outstanding Blaze.
Damn it! you beat me to calling him a ballend.
Here here
I got an Indiana Jones style whip.
Devo.. whip it good..
@@brainblaze6526 then who gets the time homered tradition of getting to wear the Zebra Mask?
Sam stepped up his game on this video with some inspired work. When we finally get that Danny Bio that intro graphic can definitely be reused.
Gotta say. Sam was absolutely on point with the editing in this one. Several legit laugh out loud, slap the knee moments.
Well done. Well done, indeed.
Me: opens a business blaze video
Simon: welcome to business blaze
Me: *goes to get some water, do my workout, watch the synder's cut, makes love to my wife, takes a shower
Simon: now let's get into it
Yeah rename this channel to The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter, that's what we're here for.
And get VSauce to middle man!
Tales From The Basement: The “Fantastic Life” of Danny Salter
@@mulattoraver "Tales From The Blazement" It was better then you remembered it.
Ideas influenced by drugs
A fantastic life, ending in life imprisonment. Like most fantastic lives actually.
I feel like the longer sam memes the exponentially more powerful he becomes at making memes
Sam has powers he didn’t know he had when he started this job
His power grows with the square of frequency
The oblivion meme made me happy. 🙂
The next blaze could be a list on the top 5 most epic Introductions by danny
nah, that will be on Megaprojects
@@noth606 ha! That's the Only channel that would make sense for a video about that.
How about a toptenznet on the most rambling introductions by Danny.
Sam deserves all the love we can give him. He's a treasure.
Was that an OG warcraft 3 meme followed by an Eldar scrolls meme? Dear God that made my cocaine bags tingle.
Amen
Yoooo. That was epic.
And you kinda gotta be an OG to fully appreciate them
Sam is at his finest when hes trolling Simon!
The amazing life of Danny Salter. Well done Sam I actually laughed out loud at that one
Back in the '80s, someone broke into my coworker Janice's car in Queens, NY and stole the radio. It was an aftermarket radio that was hard to find. Janice eventually went to a downtown Manhattan neighborhood known for many cheap (and sometimes sketchy) electronics shops. She finally found a used radio that fit her car. When she installed it, she noticed a scratch just like one on her old radio. Then, she found that the program buttons were already set to her favorite stations. Against all odds, Janice had bought back her own stolen car radio!
To Sam: The Fantastic Life of Danny Salter title card is a thing of beauty.
Hosted by Vsauce lol
@@dudebucket60 featuring Count Dankula
We gotta see that again. 😅
At the appropriate time, of course. Eh, comrades?
Best joke of 2021 so far
This could be merch its so good.
Sam was on point in this episode
"that pile of mess was organized in a very specific way" is a very relatable feeling. I hate when people mess up my mess by organizing it in a logical fashion.
My mother has this problem with me all the time.
There was a US (I think ) case months ago where a person came home from work to find someone had cleaned their entire house, with nothing missing. They called the police, and it turned out a neighbors had hired some cleaners, and they just got the address wrong.
There was an episode of the show COPS where someone called the cops for buying fake crack. When they questioned the dealer she said "I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute"
It was beautiful.
m.th-cam.com/video/_JkwZUk3Kng/w-d-xo.html
Here's the video.
Honestly before I started this I scrolled down to the comments, and having finished it I can confirm that Sam has unlocked a whole new level of memerical arts and I am HERE FOR IT
"Goldilocks on coccaine"... Surely that's just Simons Street gang name?? 😅🤣
Venomous
I laughed hard.
Usually abbreviated too "Coccaine-Goldilocks". 🤘😆
@@wut274 Still a bit long. How about Cocca-locks?
@@linkesocke4533 CokieLocks
Sam should get an award for this ep.
1) I would be very upset if someone broke into my house and snorted my dog's ashes.
2) I love how every new inside joke becomes an OGBB reference no matter how recent. xD
The references to inside jokes from videos yet to be released are by far some of the best. Those hit in that special way when the time comes.
16:41 oh my God Sam. You absolute LEGEND. That gets you free entry into NZ.
The Blazement, genius! Sam's been super on his meme game recently
I've just realized, Business Blaze is like the typical business. Simon the middle man gets all the money and Danny is stuck in his basement.
Brilliant!
Simon: My geography is terrible.
Also Simon: hosts Geographics
I'd like to see an episode where everybody switches rolls. Like have Danny present, Sam write, and Simon meme. I'm not sure if it'd be any good good, but I think it would be pretty funny.
set in the basement, chained to the heater
Gimme some more felonious figures, fact boy, and send Danny some candles so he can write more scripts.
The Casual Criminalist is for you.
@@andiward7068 I'm subscribed to all his channels.
Danny doesn't need candles. He glows from the heavily discounted potatoes harvested from the Chernobyl exclusion zone
I never thought that I would hear S3RL-Dealer business blaze at the same time. Best channel ever
7:30 - Chapter 1 - No returns policy
10:10 - Chapter 2 - Snort burglary
13:05 - Mid roll ads
15:40 - Chapter 3 - The man who slipped up
19:00 - Chapter 4 - The man who defended himself
21:35 - Chapter 5 - Florida man executes perfect robbery...foiled by bad luck
My husband named our new cat Blaze. I keep watching her when Simon yells out BLAZE to see if she reacts.
What a good gaurd dog- protecting the house even after cremation!
6:36 “hosted by vsauce” damn sam shots fired
The TIFO bit floored me 🤣🤣
Yet another brilliant Blaze!
Currently sitting in a hospital waiting on tests to see if my mom has had a stroke... Business Blaze is the only thing keeping me from breaking down and losing it completely. Love you guys!
How’s your mom doing now?
6:32 😂🙌🙌🏻👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏🏼absolutely brilliant Sam
I loved this SO MUCH!
"Hosted by VSauce" genius xDD
@@henriquelopes5080 absolutely 😂😂😂
I am really a fan of Danny's work on this episode.
Don’t forget about Sam, the editor
@@SievertSchreiber of course! Sam's edits also had me laughing lots
Feels like Sam is upping his memeification game!
Sam this is some of your finest work. Job well done
The memes on this one are particularly refined
The awesome life of Danny presented by VSAUCE! 😂 😂 🤣
Only half way through the episode and Sam is absolutely owning it! Thumbs up to the resident memeologist
9:45 this is the best thing I’ve seen and will see all week
Back when I was in retail management I also had a brain fart or two about the alarm code. Definitely not some of my finest moments. But hearing Simon had the same problem makes me feel a little better that I'm not alone.
I'm very happy to see the Kiwi 'no surprises here' ad get used on my fave channel. Good taste meme master
OMG: "Today I Found Out"/Perspicacious was an excellent touch! Touche. :)
Good to see Danny's home is now called the Blazement. It fits.
Sam lives there as well
Yes! Raise you voice and publicly shame those who litter!
I know of one person who particularly despised smokers who littered their cigarette butts. He was fond of returning them to the rightful owner by tossing them, lit or not, back into the offenders vehicles. Maybe not the best approach (don't do that) but I expect that the holes in the vehicle interiors and associated diminished resale value were regular reminders.
I think you guys need a slogan - "Business Blaze - What's going on?!"
18:55 To answer your question, the FBI gets involved on any bank robbery, no matter how minor because just about every bank account is insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC, which makes it a federal crime and gets it instantly passed up to them.
Great editing as always Samuel. Love the Big Lebowski memes ~ speaking of stupid criminals.
Sam is an absolute LEGEND!!!
Sam, you legend. Imma need a link to that drug song thank you very much.
nevermind found it
@@KlaximumSkroeft Care to share? :)
@@Rickrrrt “Dealer” by S3RL
@@SenoraCardgage Thanks my dude
Great episode overall, but by far Sam’s finest work yet. Keep it up buddy and we may even talk to Simon about letting you out of the basement
Gotta say Sam, absolutely crushing it with the memes/editing on this one!
I'm just waiting for the day we get a Danny chained in the basement t shirt.
Hey, Simon. Love the videos. Could you do one where you read a list of the most outrageous ways people have quit their jobs?
He could do a five part series on that one.
I hope you’re healed up Sam!! 💚💚
FROM THE BLAZEMENT!
Petition for Simon to change the name of his basement to blazement
@@gertbester1169 Blazement Media Corp.
It's now canon in my opinion. Simon has a blazement.
These never stop getting better
Sam officially reached legendary status with Kerry King.
Props to Simon for correctly pronouncing 5/3 Bank. It's a regional bank so most Americans have trouble saying it
Memes on point in this one.
Well done sam.
Yes! I needed to Blaze today
There are days were you don't need the Blaze?? 😳
Hope your day is alright and your evening better whatever timezone your in
@@mangonel 😂Well I prefer to watch and laugh but however you like to enjoy your Blaze as long as you watch until the very end for that sweet sweet watchtime 😇or well inject all of the Blaze and don't leave out the end
@@stephjovi
Always need the Blaze, but we had a snowstorm and a hit of the boi's makes the day better!
@@bevoss7573 damn that sucks. It's April can we get spring already?
6:33 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my lord I’m gone. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Love the 90s educational business video intro music. I’m guess the “more you know” chime was copyrighted?
I haven't watched the video yet But I can tell Simon is probably going to be happy Because he gets to talk about cocaine!
Legit made me lol 👍
@Warren Shetler allegedly
I second that emotion
Simon is secretly Doctor Rockso the rock n' roll clown.
Allegedly
The infamous Australian serial killer Ivan Milat was caught out by a similar outburst in court. The prosecutors were deliberately trying to provoke that kind of outburst, they were constantly asking him about the gloves he wore during his crimes, and where he disposed of them. He screamed at the courtroom "I didn't wear no..." and stopped, realising what he'd done.
12:44 I haven't seen Arthur in a long time, but that's a funny clip!
The memes!!!! Damn, Sammy!! You are on fire!
The memes were off the chain in this one. Loved when the "today I found out" came on screen lol.
to Sam and Danny. you do realize Simon can be replaced with a text to speech reader? lastly there are a ton of great online tutorials on getting rid of bodies.
But where would we get our off the cuff meandering anecdotes and sudden outbursts and quirky gestures then? It’s basically half the content. Haha
Text to speech robot voices make me want to self lobotamize
they can't do much chained up in the basement
They should have done this for April fools. Just a video of an empty chair. Ending with a cut scene to Simon chained and gagged the closet.
“What, again?”
I would listen to Business Blaze all the time if it were a podcast :)
🔥 BEST BLAZE BIT 🔥
"Danny I'll see about passing a new candle down to you if that one I sent last month has run out. I can't believe it's run out already. What are you doing? Burning it all the time? When you're not writing, BLOW IT OUT DANNY."
😆😂☠
Sam, as usual, PERFECTION. 😍😍😍
This one seemed SHORT or something? Definitely need part 47....
Sam has outdone himself 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Damn Sam! You're 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 today.
Blazement..... yesss... Sam, the memes though! Hope you’re doing better!
My car was broken into a couple weeks ago. They snipped my battery cables and tried to yank the battery out but it was bolted down. They didn't think to use the tool box they stole from my trunk to remove the bolts 🤦🏻♀️ they also stole 50+ weed jars (I work at a dispensary) from my trunk. It makes me feel slightly better when I imagine their immense disappointment when they realize every single one of those were empty 😂
damn, this editing hit a new level here
Hey. Sam. I saw that Warcraft3 Necromancer. Well played. Nerd. 😎
definitely we need a part three!!
Using perspicacious instead of shrewd to fuck with Simon and his difficulty in pronouncing words... Danny is a trolling legend!
I laughed at that. I'm absolutely the sort of person who uses words like that at random and gets weird looks from my friends. However, Danny is just fucking around. Legend! 😎
"The deriff sheputy" -Simon Whistler
More oblivion memes please, Sam. They’re wonderful.
We need...Danny to write a bio on Simon with all sorts of BS that Simon then spends years trying to dispel
He used Keeps when he was younger. It's why he has no hair. Recommending it is his revenge. To see others loose their hair.
@@221b-l3t _"I rely on Keeps to Keeps Me Bald™As A Whistler"_ - Vin Diesel
"He knew the alarm code". More likely, he knew his own code. I was a restaurant manager and was in charge of getting alarm codes for newly hired/promoted supervisors and managers. Everyone had their own code that came from the company in a sealed envelope. Same with the safe, everyone got their own key and set their own personal code to open the safe. So the robbery still probably could've been tied back to him
I know I got no way of proving this 100% but
this one time when my late grandma was alone in the house, a couple thugs showed up with guns
(the only thing between them was this big sliding gate thing we had back then)
they demanded money/to be let in
and my grandma just deadass told them to fuck off saying "Im just an old woman. I dont have anything you want. leave."
Sam epic work good man
Dude, this is my best entertainment.
"That pile of mess was arranged in a very specific way" is a notion I know all too well.
OMG OMG OMG "THE FABULOUS LIFE OF DANNY SALTER" ... "HOSTED BY VSAUCE" ... OOOOOOOHHHH!
-EDEN WOLF
Yes we need the Fantastic Lives of Danny, Sam and Jen
Simon FYI bank robbery in the USA is a federal crime and the FBI is always the lead investigational agency for those crimes. They do tend to work in conjunction with local law enforcement agencies during those investigations, but they are the lead.