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In Pennsylvania we still legally have to dismantle our cars and hide them in the bushes so as not to startle the horses....at least it's not enforced. Our horses aren't that jumpy.
The number of memes on this video is certainly a lot higher than most of the previous videos. Edit: And I now think Dan is by going to use the word "Clerk/Clark" more in future videos.
I worked security for a large Insurance company and part of my job was to patrol the exterior of the building and "remove undesirables". So, it was windy and raining one weekend, and I was just walking along and this homeless guy was just trying to get out of the rain in one of the bus shelters, he saw me coming in my uniform and the look on his face was just crestfallen, but he said "alright, alright, I'm moving" and he goes to move along, and I look at him, "bosses aren't around, I don't care if you stay." And I just walked along my route. Normally my bosses would be breathing down my neck to get rid of him but nobody had noticed him, my supervisor on the weekend didn't care, so why should I be cruel? If you can't help someone, at least do your best to not hurt them.
I've done the same. As long as they're keeping to themselves and not causing any problems i'll tell them its fine to stay awhile, especially to shelter from the canadian weather
Your admirable show of humanity aside, unless that bus stop is owned by the company, and is directly on company property, you'd have no authority to move anyone on.
@@the_once-and-future_king. The bus stop was on company property, The company was responsible for all maintenance for it, they put it up because they wanted to play nice in the city. But the company owned the bus stop.
Sam is the king of making my family hear only children's show memes at 10 decibel louder than Simon's dialogue. Me mum thinks I'm watching Blues Clues at 22yrs now.
I'd love to see Simon interact with a store clerk now: - Simon: 'hey clark, how much does this cost?' - Clark: 'my name is Peter... - Simon: 'who cares. AM I RIGHT, PETER!?
Simon on Australia: "they all just broke free and had babies and voila Australia!" Simon you forgot the emu wars but other than that, ya, pretty much. 🤣👏👌
I've been homeless many times in the past, a lot of other homeless people I knew have been arrested for vagrancy, I've not myself but I was threatened with it once, sleeping outside a church in Liverpool and at about 2 or 3 in the morning half a dozen cops woke me up telling me to go away or risk being arrested for vagrancy, the really stupid part was that it was the middle of the winter, freezing cold and raining and I had nothing to cover myself with so I was soaking wet, I pointed this out to them and offered them to arrest me, at least I could finish my sleep in a warm dry cell ffs! 🤣 But unfortunately they clearly realised how pathetic they were being and walked off leaving me there tired and shivering... 🤦💥 Bastards...
Yep I hear that. I’ve been in and out of bad situation’s… And at times… The only way to describe myself was “homeless as FUUUUUCK“…. I live in the states and there were a lot of years where I was living in and out of a vehicle….. And they still gave me shit even though I parked at places like Walmart where 24 hour business is going on and where they specifically state that they don’t mind “urban campers“ as long as they don’t cause trouble. The cops that are mean can eat my ass
@@hullinstruments yeah, they are, that's the human condition unfortunately, give anyone a little bit of power and it goes straight to their heads, it's actually quite sad imo 😔
Old joke , but here we go . When entring Australia , you will be asked " Have you got a criminal record ? . The correct answer to this , is " I did nt know you still needed one "
Send all traitors and severe criminals to a remote island, they won't rebel at any point in time I'm sure 😊 Australians still holding onto the monarchy is interesting though. Probably back in the days they were like "yeah come on, let granny think we still listen to her advice, whilst she's on the other side of the world and can't do sh**"
Would that prohibit native Nebraskan's from leaving the state to take up employment on a whaling vessel or is it only within the states border's that you can't do it?
There's probably another law that forbids owning a whale as a pet, but even if your neighbor breaks that law, and is keeping a whale in their swimming pool, thanks to this law, it's not legal to sneak over into their backyard in the middle of the night and harpoon it.
@@Tazza81 I am pretty sure it's illegal to take most other animals into a theater, as well, unless you have a disability and they are a guide dog or emotional support animal and you have a certificate to prove it. And this would be the case for most places, not just Baltimore.
In LA they just put spikes and where they dont want homeless people to sleep. Including on benches, where you pay a quarter for 15 minutes to sit as a citizen if you aren't homeless. Other places play constant loud music so no one can sleep. Even though fixing the homelessness problem for good would be cheaper than not. I'm sure it is in other cities too. And 40% of the homeless population are vets. The US is very good at being cruel to the homeless.
Sam dropping the Blue's Clues 😍😍😍😍 Between laughing hysterically with every Clark and randomly bursting out the "we just got a letter" song I'm worried my family might have me committed 😅
Let's mix it up more. Everytime he swears has to have a sip of wine, a mispronunciation of a name or words a shot of whiskey and stumbling over words is a shot of tequila.
Sam, once again the memes were superb. The last thing I expected was Steve from Blue's Clues. I watched that show with my kids when they were babies. For such a job well done you deserve a few minutes out of the Blazement.
@@user-hv6wb5gk8p I'd think living in the Southeastern U.S. where frying is basically a staple of life, itself, would be good enough... officer... ...or are you pretending??? ;o)
I have an intermittent tremor (though I'm only 43) & sometimes handwriting is difficult / illegible. So I sometimes ask people to fill out forms for me. They often seem irritated. Oh well. 😄
I used to work at motor vehicle. I gladly filled in forms for people who couldn't read. Explaining what is in the form as I did so, and witnessing their signature when they write an x or other scribble. I have no issue taking time to explain things to people who need help. To the point that I've gotten in trouble with management at that job. My response was the lady on the phone lost her husband and needed my help with the legal property transfer forms. I am not cutting her off and telling her to go away. I never got in to any trouble.
Simon, if you think that it's crazy to make it illegal to be homeless, there's also cities who are making (or in some cases already have made) it illegal to feed the homeless publicly. The biggest city in my state is doing that just as it gets to Christmas, which is just sickening, IMO.
There are some laws I feel it ny duty as a human beingbto break. This is one I most assuredly would. I won't give money but I will buy food for pan handlers. I offered to buy a woman diapers and milk once, however. She fervently refused. Later I saw her getting into a hrand new Cadillac. It is illlegal to dance Hokey Pokey in California, or to take a bite from someone elses sandwich in public in Oklahoma. There are thousands of stupid laws on the books in the US. Books have been written about them.
The Staff of the City Manager were going through the charter and laws of the City of Norfolk (Virginia) to find and eliminate terminology that wasn't properly inclusive (like references to Department Heads in ways that clearly suggest that they must be male) and made an accidental discovery of a law that hadn't been enforced in decades and is almost certainly unenforceable and unconstitutional. It made it illegal to be a pauper. It defined a pauper as someone having no money or property, and made it the duty of the police to remove such people from the city. It also had a fine of $20 for any ship captain or master (later amended to include railroads) who transported a pauper to the city, and half that fine paid to anyone who turned such a person in. The City Council voted unanimously to repeal that law and remove it from the charter, with the only controversy being some members' surprise that the word "pauper" had actually been used.
I was raised in Longmeadow Massachusetts USA where I was amazed to learn in grade school there was still a law on the town law books that it was "illegal to go to church without a rifle". Apparently, it dated back to the mid-1600s when a group of pacifists moved into town and refused to use weapons, and carry them when leaving their property to go to church. They also refused to carry weapons to protect themselves or join town members to protect the town in warding off Indian attacks. If the head of the household was killed in an Indian attack, on their way to church, the law stated the surviving family could not become a burden on the township. People don't usually think of " Indian Wars" in Western Massachusetts.....But in fact, the First Indian Wars were in New England and they were devastating.
Simon doesn't realise how important the law about not getting drunk in a pub is to people who work in pubs. I have had to stop serving people so many times who have been too drunk, and while you can just refuse service the law helps in putting the foot down.
My Grandad made us stand to listen to the Queen's speech. Apparently Her Majesty would be deeply offended if she knew kids 20,000 kms away were sitting while she spoke. 😂😂
After a heavy night on the drink I took a piss in a doorway and got arrested. Turned out the building was a police station. They just opened the door and arrested me.
"Hey man, ya finished up there? Ok cool. Can you step inside for a second so we can talk to you about something real quick? It'll only be a second"😂they had to have been laughing
I know this is an old video but I’ve only just started watching brain blaze and OMG the chaos is just what I need! My little ADHD brain is eating this up. Thank you Danny, Simon, & Sam for a great show
My surname is Macgregor. There's an old law from 1617 saying that any MacGregor's found by police standing together in a greater number than 4 , would be arrested on pain off death, due to the horse and cow stealings and murders. Thanks ancestors lol. The law still stands.
Some TH-cam Channels: We can't put out videos that are longer than 15 minutes, no one will watch it Simon & Brain Blaze: Epic blaze's do surprisingly well, and watch times are really, really strong on this channel Danny: Here's a 20 minute introduction Blaze Boi, can I be fed my once weekly meal in the dungeon, it's Christmas this month and I was hoping for a spoonful or two of magic spoon. Simon: *_For the 1,000th time! We don't get Magic Spoon in the Czech Republic, YOU GET WHAT YOU GET_*
Don't know if it is an old myth or a genuine bylaw, but I was told that in Cornwall, you are required to throw rocks at crows if you see them on someone's land and can be fined if you fail to do so. Apparently they were deemed to be the harbingers of the devil, bad luck to have them there and hence your civic duty to chase them off. It was supposedly also the origin of the phrase "stone the crows". Also, don't know if this is still on the books, but it used to be that all British men, except clergymen, of ages 15-45 were required to engage in two hours of longbow practice at least once a week and it was the responsibility of the clergymen to make sure you did. It was a medieval law, so it didn't say if women we also required, but it didn't say they couldn't join in either.
My grandma made us all watch the queen on Christmas speach. We're Irish. My dad and I would nearly loose our minds. The funny thing is that his dad was English. God bless family
Actually, the queen does a lot. Every single thing that is passed by parliament has to also be approved of by the queen. She HAS TO read it all and she has the right to refuse her approval of it. She does however approve of the democratic system and approves of everything that has gone through the workings of the government because that is the democratic system. She also runs several charities, and is required to attend certain ceremonies or send her representative, usually another of the royal family. She literally manages the country because if she decided not to approve of something, it cannot become law. I am surprised at how many British people don't know what the queen does. Instead of just believing that she sits around all day doing nothing and getting paid for it you should investigate exactly what she does before putting her down.
Leaving a nightclub my mate took a piss in an alley, 2 police saw him and he ended up on the sex offenders register for indecent exposure in public. This was 22 years ago.
Mrs Richards: "I paid for a room with a view !" Basil: (pointing to the lovely view) "That is Torquay, Madam ." Mrs Richards: "It's not good enough!" Basil: "May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically past?..." Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea!" Basil: "You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky. " Mrs Richards: "I'm not satisfied. But I shall stay. But I expect a reduction." Basil: "Why?! Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?"
I noticed the phrase "England, Scotland, and Wales" a couple times, is that a giveaway that the law in question predates the establishment of N Ireland, or is it just a lawless, anarchic utopia?
Northern Ireland itself is fairly young. Ireland only separated officially in the 1920s. (I believe 1921 or 1922 but I'd have to look it up). Beyond that, the history gets pretty complicated. Ireland's own government got abolished in the 1800s so again laws predating that may have been rejected. Northern Ireland gained it back again in the 1990s Basically Ireland is its own country (or countries) and isn't always required to have a copy paste of English laws
No, that's how Australia happened, we organised a breakout with messages written on boomerangs, then wrangled some kangaroos to ride off into the sunset while the dropbears held up the guards, then we all got together with the rainbow serpent and the goanna that drunk the billabong and had a sing and a laugh as we ate out of our tukkerbags, and that's the truth.
Us in Australia have to serve a mandatory 5 years in prison under the "Imprisonment service Act 1894" as a requirement to enter adult hood. We are also allowed to substitute the 5 years by going over sea's and getting at least 10 STI's but that option is usually taken up by wankers and politicians kids.
The only reason you didn't get in trouble with the Queen for dressing in camouflage is because she couldn't see you. Also in highschool I had a friend take a piss in the corner of another friends bedroom because he didn't know where the bathroom and was too afraid to ask. No alcohol was involved and he was never invited back. Man I have weird friends.
Not even dude. I stayed the night at this kids house one time. Kid had ADHD and was a Lil weird fs. But he was alright, ya know? Yea, fuck that. I stayed the night ONE time. It's midnight, we are playing games, and I pause and say that I'm heading to the bathroom. He said "no need. Look, my parents gave me these for when I don't want to leave my room when I'm playing with friends or at night". It was a goddamn pee pad for potty training dogs. He laid one in the corner, turned his back to me, and peed on the pad. I was so uncomfortable that I just walked out before he finished, and then went to the kitchen to try to get some distance for a moment. I didn't even have to pee anymore. IIl never forget that shit. WHO DOES THAT!? PARENTS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We have the same law about dressing up in military uniform. The way movies and tv get around it is the uniforms are always not exact us military uniforms
I've been a baker for 7 years and where I did my apprenticeship had the issue of no que we had a great big long counter to display all our cakes and pastries and people would just walk up to any part of it and start ordering we had a till on either end but people would just pile up all along the counter and customers would always argue with each other which it ended up being we don't care as long as we weren't being yelled at. One of the few good things about covid was we had to put down social distance markers and while there was no where near enough space for people to distance properly at least the markers helped them form an actual queue
Best Australian tourist advertisements; at least it's warm. Also Simon, you don't have to be sober to beat your poor workers, but it helps so as to not become maimed by the very same equipment your being beaten to work at fast Holy crap, you can urinate in public in the UK? In the USA that gets you on the sex offenders registry
Depends on the state. In Oregon it’s perfectly legal to walk around completely naked as long as you are not aroused and you are not trying to arouse anybody else. There isn’t a law about specifically urinating in public. But some cities have their own rules about it.
There's a lot of officer discretion involved in how public urination is charged, if at all. 2am behind a bar is different than 2pm next to a school playground. Apologetic person in need vs. belligerent AH.
@@andiward7068 also toddler who probably needed to go for ages, but only decided to tell you when they can't hold it anymore, or grown adult who is intoxicated.
@@DBurpees1 also in New York City it's perfectly legal for women to go around topless as long they don't act in a lewd manner... Not sure about the rest of New York state, however
@@lisaamerson1547 high heels in New York? never heard that one... I think somewhere there's a law about spitting on the sidewalk(my guess is that it would be related to chewing tobacco). I've heard another one where it's illegal to bathe an elephant in a river and I'm guessing that has to do with something that happened while the circus was in town. usually if you think hard enough it might seem absurd on the surface without context, but if you consider that it's an old law you can probably think of some context in which it would make sense. for instance the "spitting on the sidewalk" law, in the context of a town in the old west where everybody was chewing tobacco and just spitting everywhere they walked, the sidewalks would get pretty gross pretty quickly. I can easily see coming up with such a law as a way to make a Town more tourist friendly, or all the wives banding together and brow beating the local mayor into cleaning up the sidewalks to make trips to the grocery more pleasant for them
@@pokeydot1975 just gotta train them to flick the respective ear to the turning direction. Really complete the look. Also, are there Amish there? Do they have hand operated turn signals?
Texas alcoholic beverage commission laws make it a class b misdemeanor if you serve alcohol to someone who is legally drunk (.08 bac). If your establishment has served more than one or two drinks an hour to a patron, you're risking a lot. They also send people in to try and get you to do so to catch you. And they have people watching for it. If a patron leaves your bar and is caught driving drunk or drunk in public shortly after, and they say they were just at your bar and have a receipt, you can be liable. It's nuts.
I have never understood what's the catch on this channel. Simon getting unhinged? Simon shouting? Simon fcking it up? Don't know but it has been quite entertaining since start of this channel... Would like to see Simon unhinge and make more mess in the future. Usually watching more documentaries etc, but this is just the best
Vagrancy laws have in some countries been used to round up the homeless in autumn and giving them sentences that will release them in late spring so that they wouldn't die
@@xpinkbunnieinwonderlandx8454 yea. Especially jail...at least you get some freedoms in prison. But jail? It's like school. But class is all day, interrupted by three "meals" throughout, and a bunch of other annoying ass people in the pod. Some going up, some coming down, and some stuck there along with you. Fuuuuuuck that
Actually, in the US something like 75% of the homeless actually have jobs, just not jobs that pay them enough to afford a place to live. So imprisoning them would lose them their jobs.
I bet Sam could create some wonderful memes to illustrate how far down into madness Simon has descended at various points with the end screen being a grat finishing picture of the chaos in simons brain
There was an odd law in New Mexico, USA, That allowed red light running, as long as you discharge your revolver as you pass thru 😂 was in fact a law 80 years ago
You can laugh about the murder being illegal, but Northern Ireland once trued to clean up their drug laws, and resulted in all drugs being legal for 4 days
Many years ago I saw two one legged men start a fight in my local post office. They hit each other with their walking aids, and it may have been a racist attack by one on the other. I couldn't believe what I was watching, it was insane. It was also a rainy day and the floor was dirty and slippery, in places which they were trying to avoid while fighting. 😁
Heres 10 that are still on the books in Ohio theres 49 other states 1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. 2. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. 3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk. 4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. 5. It is illegal for more than five woman to live in a house. 6. Posting signs at swimming pools is illegal in Akron. 7. It is also illegal in Akron to display colored chickens for sale. 8. It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road in Bay Village. 9. The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited in Bexley. 10. If someone loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.
10 years from now when Simon goes completely insane the videos on this channel will be used by researchers to look at his descent into madness and wonder how hundreds of thousands of people managed to watch it without getting him help. :)
Talking about old laws. I'm a MacGregor, there is a law from 16 17, saying that no more than 4 MacGregors can meet, by the Scots Parliament "on pain of death". Following a series of murders and outrages. Honestly, look it up
These are seriously the best ad reads ever. Simon dicking around, we love it, and the sponsors realize that we love it and continue to let him cut loose a little.
Christmas? I celebrate Blazemas, and its always a white Blazemas because it involves cocaine, screaming about communists and roasting Yoko albums over an open fire. Allegedly.
When I was 12, the police pulled us over in a Tesco carpark because they thought I was too young to be driving, obviously they were correct but then they asked my father if he thought it was responsible of him, his reply was that because we were driving a range rover we would be fine in the event of an accident so it wasn't irresponsible as all we would hit would be a trolley park, can't argue with that apparently because my dad got away with it.
I had to send a letter a few months back. I have been working from home since the first lockdown and legitimately didn't know where to buy envelopes. I was right, Asda had some, but I realised that 100% of all my stationary since I left school has been stolen from the office supply cupboard. I have one paperclip in my desk at home AND IT'S MINE!
Fun pointless fact about getting permission from the queen to wear uniforms. The Caledonian, bagpipes and drums, band that I played with. Needed to get written permission to wear the Royal Stewart tartan from the queen herself.
I think that could be if that particular unit is still around. From what I understand (American here) the wear of tartans by someone not of the clan is a major faux paux.
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In Oklahoma it is officially illegal to hunt WHALES!!! Like real whales, not the chunky monkeys at Walmart 🤣
In Pennsylvania we still legally have to dismantle our cars and hide them in the bushes so as not to startle the horses....at least it's not enforced. Our horses aren't that jumpy.
You should do a blaze on civil asset forfeiture
Clerk clark who cares. Clark has more emotion i like it 🤔
Yeah I feel as if the law here in Oklahoma pertains more to dating than it does hunting LOL 🤣🤣🤣
Danny now just needs to make a script where he can randomly intersperse the words Clark and Clerk to drive Simon insane 🤣
Leclerq's clerk, Clark, claimed that quarks were not, in fact, quarts, but actually made of quartz.
This.
@@timothyoswald8618 wow.
Yes!!
We'll soon be treated to one of Danny's characters named Clark the clerk.
I appreciate Sam's ability to translate Simon's ramblings to something we all can understand
It's kind of difficult to edit someone who is allegedly on coke
The number of memes on this video is certainly a lot higher than most of the previous videos.
Edit: And I now think Dan is by going to use the word "Clerk/Clark" more in future videos.
I read this comment raise that Arnold Schwarzenegger in the forest image but the transformer pun credits was coming up. Truly apt timing.
@@jonathansue-ho7506 Skeletor - "What?"
Sam is, indeed, a gift to humanity.
I don't know why I enjoy watching this so much. Watching Fact Boi screaming "Am I right, Peter!?" is just extremely satisfying.
Do you? PETER!
Still waiting on Peter's response 🤔
PETER?!
There must be a fan named Peter who eagerly waits for that.
This "show" and community around it is amazing
My name's not even Peter and I feel "called out" when he does that. ;o)
I worked security for a large Insurance company and part of my job was to patrol the exterior of the building and "remove undesirables". So, it was windy and raining one weekend, and I was just walking along and this homeless guy was just trying to get out of the rain in one of the bus shelters, he saw me coming in my uniform and the look on his face was just crestfallen, but he said "alright, alright, I'm moving" and he goes to move along, and I look at him, "bosses aren't around, I don't care if you stay." And I just walked along my route. Normally my bosses would be breathing down my neck to get rid of him but nobody had noticed him, my supervisor on the weekend didn't care, so why should I be cruel? If you can't help someone, at least do your best to not hurt them.
You legend. Thank you for demonstrating a bit of compassion.
I've done the same. As long as they're keeping to themselves and not causing any problems i'll tell them its fine to stay awhile, especially to shelter from the canadian weather
@avalanche that's like the least polite Ive ever heard a Canadian compose themselves. What no bed in breakfast
Your admirable show of humanity aside, unless that bus stop is owned by the company, and is directly on company property, you'd have no authority to move anyone on.
@@the_once-and-future_king. The bus stop was on company property, The company was responsible for all maintenance for it, they put it up because they wanted to play nice in the city. But the company owned the bus stop.
As an Australian I can confirm your history of our country is 100% correct. For a given value of “correct”.
From "a certain point of view"?
A usually _very_ certain point of view…
2 + 2 = 5*
*for large values of 2
@@tongboy187 I've thought about it and I'm intrigued. Where can I learn more?
@@TheGelasiaBlythe I’ve just finished reading Bertrand Russell’s Western Philosophy! Coincidence? Well, yes…
7:40 The urge to pronounce clerk 'clark' is called standard British pronunciation, Simon. That's how the other 67 million of us say it.
Sam is the king of making my family hear only children's show memes at 10 decibel louder than Simon's dialogue. Me mum thinks I'm watching Blues Clues at 22yrs now.
Just roll with the Blues Clues assumption. It's easier than explaining.
I mean...are you not?
@@SpencerGD fair
If I still lived with my mom, I would have heard a screaming "no!!!" 😂😂😂😂 My little brother loved that show as a kid.....
I'd love to see Simon interact with a store clerk now:
- Simon: 'hey clark, how much does this cost?'
- Clark: 'my name is Peter...
- Simon: 'who cares. AM I RIGHT, PETER!?
😅😂 That scenario is outrageous, ridiculous, and solidly within the realm of possibility!😂
i care.
Did you call? 🤔
Simon on Australia: "they all just broke free and had babies and voila Australia!" Simon you forgot the emu wars but other than that, ya, pretty much. 🤣👏👌
And all the murder of the locals....
Just a little genocide swept under the rug along the way.
@@gabrielpartanen1194 standard British tradition.
I've been homeless many times in the past, a lot of other homeless people I knew have been arrested for vagrancy, I've not myself but I was threatened with it once, sleeping outside a church in Liverpool and at about 2 or 3 in the morning half a dozen cops woke me up telling me to go away or risk being arrested for vagrancy, the really stupid part was that it was the middle of the winter, freezing cold and raining and I had nothing to cover myself with so I was soaking wet, I pointed this out to them and offered them to arrest me, at least I could finish my sleep in a warm dry cell ffs! 🤣
But unfortunately they clearly realised how pathetic they were being and walked off leaving me there tired and shivering... 🤦💥
Bastards...
Yep I hear that.
I’ve been in and out of bad situation’s… And at times… The only way to describe myself was “homeless as FUUUUUCK“….
I live in the states and there were a lot of years where I was living in and out of a vehicle….. And they still gave me shit even though I parked at places like Walmart where 24 hour business is going on and where they specifically state that they don’t mind “urban campers“ as long as they don’t cause trouble.
The cops that are mean can eat my ass
The least they could do was give you a ride to somewhere dry. I'm sorry, bruh.
@@Crossword131 Thank you 🤗 ♥
@@hullinstruments yeah, they are, that's the human condition unfortunately, give anyone a little bit of power and it goes straight to their heads, it's actually quite sad imo 😔
Crappy night, funny story.
I mean, if I didn't laugh; I'd cry...
Hope everything is well for you now :)
Old joke , but here we go . When entring Australia , you will be asked " Have you got a criminal record ? . The correct answer to this , is " I did nt know you still needed one "
And then they give you a free Jason Donovan album... 😆
Send all traitors and severe criminals to a remote island, they won't rebel at any point in time I'm sure 😊 Australians still holding onto the monarchy is interesting though. Probably back in the days they were like "yeah come on, let granny think we still listen to her advice, whilst she's on the other side of the world and can't do sh**"
Fun fact: in the state of Nebraska, it’s illegal to hunt whales.
Nebraska is triple landlocked.
I guess it's in case a whale manages to swim up the Missouri River. Or it's just the principle.
Would that prohibit native Nebraskan's from leaving the state to take up employment on a whaling vessel or is it only within the states border's that you can't do it?
There's probably another law that forbids owning a whale as a pet, but even if your neighbor breaks that law, and is keeping a whale in their swimming pool, thanks to this law, it's not legal to sneak over into their backyard in the middle of the night and harpoon it.
In Baltimore it is illegal to take a lion to the cinema
@@Tazza81 I am pretty sure it's illegal to take most other animals into a theater, as well, unless you have a disability and they are a guide dog or emotional support animal and you have a certificate to prove it. And this would be the case for most places, not just Baltimore.
Danny is a master word jockey and I love it. Who else has ever strung together the words "second helping of quintuplets"? My hero!
Danny is the only reason I view this channel
Simon out here grinding. This legend keeps me on youtube. You got this King.
What's he up to now? 10 channels?
@@ladykoiwolfe At least. His work ethic is impressive.
12.... for now ;)
@@brainblaze6526 I don’t suppose you plan on downsizing anytime soon. So it is only up from here?
@@brainblaze6526 damn boi!
In LA they just put spikes and where they dont want homeless people to sleep. Including on benches, where you pay a quarter for 15 minutes to sit as a citizen if you aren't homeless. Other places play constant loud music so no one can sleep. Even though fixing the homelessness problem for good would be cheaper than not. I'm sure it is in other cities too. And 40% of the homeless population are vets. The US is very good at being cruel to the homeless.
Sam dropping the Blue's Clues 😍😍😍😍
Between laughing hysterically with every Clark and randomly bursting out the "we just got a letter" song I'm worried my family might have me committed 😅
SAME how can you not sing that song?!?!
Simon describing memes to Sam, the One True Meme Lord, is my kink.
Memesplaining.
Holidays Challenge: A king size Brain Blaze with Simon taking a whiskey shot every half page.
u want to kill the man but it would make the show more fun
I'll second that.
Why am I the only person getting reply offers from the shady "party girl" site?
@@audreysark at least you're in demand. Got to look on the bright side.
Let's mix it up more. Everytime he swears has to have a sip of wine, a mispronunciation of a name or words a shot of whiskey and stumbling over words is a shot of tequila.
Sam, once again the memes were superb. The last thing I expected was Steve from Blue's Clues. I watched that show with my kids when they were babies. For such a job well done you deserve a few minutes out of the Blazement.
Nien! They are truly heroes but they work better amongst the shrooms and chained to the radiator. SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE!
I actually was a kid when blues clues was on, and throughly enjoyed it!
There are homeless veterans here in the states. Why it isn't more of a scandal I have no idea.
Simon : make the wording clearer, 'it's an offense to handle poached salmon'
Me to my wife: quick, put down the pan
BUT as long as I fry the stuff, it's okay... RIGHT??
*kicks in door*
Oi, I hope ya got a frying license on ya!
@@user-hv6wb5gk8p I'd think living in the Southeastern U.S. where frying is basically a staple of life, itself, would be good enough... officer...
...or are you pretending??? ;o)
The proposed wording still seems a bit fishy to me.
I have an intermittent tremor (though I'm only 43) & sometimes handwriting is difficult / illegible. So I sometimes ask people to fill out forms for me. They often seem irritated. Oh well. 😄
@V60 Stanles Gee thanks.
Jokes on you, my handwriting is also illegible
@@gerardmontgomery280 😆 Yeah but at least you could get it done quickly
I used to work at motor vehicle. I gladly filled in forms for people who couldn't read. Explaining what is in the form as I did so, and witnessing their signature when they write an x or other scribble.
I have no issue taking time to explain things to people who need help. To the point that I've gotten in trouble with management at that job. My response was the lady on the phone lost her husband and needed my help with the legal property transfer forms. I am not cutting her off and telling her to go away. I never got in to any trouble.
Simon, if you think that it's crazy to make it illegal to be homeless, there's also cities who are making (or in some cases already have made) it illegal to feed the homeless publicly. The biggest city in my state is doing that just as it gets to Christmas, which is just sickening, IMO.
It is sickening indeed.
Break that law every chance you get, fuck that law honestly ✌
There are some laws I feel it ny duty as a human beingbto break. This is one I most assuredly would. I won't give money but I will buy food for pan handlers. I offered to buy a woman diapers and milk once, however. She fervently refused. Later I saw her getting into a hrand new Cadillac.
It is illlegal to dance Hokey Pokey in California, or to take a bite from someone elses sandwich in public in Oklahoma. There are thousands of stupid laws on the books in the US. Books have been written about them.
The Staff of the City Manager were going through the charter and laws of the City of Norfolk (Virginia) to find and eliminate terminology that wasn't properly inclusive (like references to Department Heads in ways that clearly suggest that they must be male) and made an accidental discovery of a law that hadn't been enforced in decades and is almost certainly unenforceable and unconstitutional.
It made it illegal to be a pauper.
It defined a pauper as someone having no money or property, and made it the duty of the police to remove such people from the city. It also had a fine of $20 for any ship captain or master (later amended to include railroads) who transported a pauper to the city, and half that fine paid to anyone who turned such a person in.
The City Council voted unanimously to repeal that law and remove it from the charter, with the only controversy being some members' surprise that the word "pauper" had actually been used.
@@spyone4828 I have a friend in Norfolk I need to mention this to, now.
I was raised in Longmeadow Massachusetts USA where I was amazed to learn in grade school there was still a law on the town law books that it was "illegal to go to church without a rifle". Apparently, it dated back to the mid-1600s when a group of pacifists moved into town and refused to use weapons, and carry them when leaving their property to go to church. They also refused to carry weapons to protect themselves or join town members to protect the town in warding off Indian attacks. If the head of the household was killed in an Indian attack, on their way to church, the law stated the surviving family could not become a burden on the township. People don't usually think of " Indian Wars" in Western Massachusetts.....But in fact, the First Indian Wars were in New England and they were devastating.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Philip%27s_War
Simon doesn't realise how important the law about not getting drunk in a pub is to people who work in pubs. I have had to stop serving people so many times who have been too drunk, and while you can just refuse service the law helps in putting the foot down.
He's naming his chairs and lamps! The basement has finally driven him insane.
My Grandad made us stand to listen to the Queen's speech. Apparently Her Majesty would be deeply offended if she knew kids 20,000 kms away were sitting while she spoke. 😂😂
We have some stupid laws in the US too. In Rhode Island, You can't legally buy toothpaste and a toothbrush on the same Sunday.
The irony is the clerk at my post office is named Clark...
Just move here Simon. Save face that way. 😆
OMG the add read had me rolling "Santa, or COMBAT MACHINES!!!" Lol
After a heavy night on the drink I took a piss in a doorway and got arrested. Turned out the building was a police station. They just opened the door and arrested me.
Hahaha. That’s brilliant!
Highly efficient
"Hey man, ya finished up there? Ok cool. Can you step inside for a second so we can talk to you about something real quick? It'll only be a second"😂they had to have been laughing
You've outdone yourself, Danny. 20 minutes. Best intro ever. Keep up the good work! #freedanny
Simon needs to make a Geographics episode on Australia appearantly. "Australia - The history of Britain's marsupial storage".
I know this is an old video but I’ve only just started watching brain blaze and OMG the chaos is just what I need! My little ADHD brain is eating this up. Thank you Danny, Simon, & Sam for a great show
Can’t wait to see how often Danny puts “clerk” in random scripts just to F with Simon now. 😂
Just have to say the comedy cutaways are top quality 😂😂 especially skeletor!
My surname is Macgregor. There's an old law from 1617 saying that any MacGregor's found by police standing together in a greater number than 4 , would be arrested on pain off death, due to the horse and cow stealings and murders. Thanks ancestors lol. The law still stands.
Some TH-cam Channels: We can't put out videos that are longer than 15 minutes, no one will watch it
Simon & Brain Blaze: Epic blaze's do surprisingly well, and watch times are really, really strong on this channel
Danny: Here's a 20 minute introduction Blaze Boi, can I be fed my once weekly meal in the dungeon, it's Christmas this month and I was hoping for a spoonful or two of magic spoon.
Simon: *_For the 1,000th time! We don't get Magic Spoon in the Czech Republic, YOU GET WHAT YOU GET_*
Don't know if it is an old myth or a genuine bylaw, but I was told that in Cornwall, you are required to throw rocks at crows if you see them on someone's land and can be fined if you fail to do so. Apparently they were deemed to be the harbingers of the devil, bad luck to have them there and hence your civic duty to chase them off. It was supposedly also the origin of the phrase "stone the crows".
Also, don't know if this is still on the books, but it used to be that all British men, except clergymen, of ages 15-45 were required to engage in two hours of longbow practice at least once a week and it was the responsibility of the clergymen to make sure you did. It was a medieval law, so it didn't say if women we also required, but it didn't say they couldn't join in either.
My grandma made us all watch the queen on Christmas speach. We're Irish. My dad and I would nearly loose our minds.
The funny thing is that his dad was English.
God bless family
I'm glad to see that Factboi has accepted that Danny and Sam are in control.
Actually, the queen does a lot. Every single thing that is passed by parliament has to also be approved of by the queen. She HAS TO read it all and she has the right to refuse her approval of it. She does however approve of the democratic system and approves of everything that has gone through the workings of the government because that is the democratic system. She also runs several charities, and is required to attend certain ceremonies or send her representative, usually another of the royal family. She literally manages the country because if she decided not to approve of something, it cannot become law. I am surprised at how many British people don't know what the queen does. Instead of just believing that she sits around all day doing nothing and getting paid for it you should investigate exactly what she does before putting her down.
Leaving a nightclub my mate took a piss in an alley, 2 police saw him and he ended up on the sex offenders register for indecent exposure in public. This was 22 years ago.
I absolutely LOVE Simons’s craziness on this channel. Crazy but very informative. Real fun to watch. 😂👍😜
Mrs Richards: "I paid for a room with a view !"
Basil: (pointing to the lovely view) "That is Torquay, Madam ."
Mrs Richards: "It's not good enough!"
Basil: "May I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? the Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically past?..."
Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea!"
Basil: "You can see the sea, it's over there between the land and the sky. "
Mrs Richards: "I'm not satisfied. But I shall stay. But I expect a reduction."
Basil: "Why?! Because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment?"
I noticed the phrase "England, Scotland, and Wales" a couple times, is that a giveaway that the law in question predates the establishment of N Ireland, or is it just a lawless, anarchic utopia?
Northern Ireland itself is fairly young. Ireland only separated officially in the 1920s. (I believe 1921 or 1922 but I'd have to look it up). Beyond that, the history gets pretty complicated. Ireland's own government got abolished in the 1800s so again laws predating that may have been rejected. Northern Ireland gained it back again in the 1990s
Basically Ireland is its own country (or countries) and isn't always required to have a copy paste of English laws
Lawless, anarchic utopia? Two out of three ain't bad.
England and Wales normally have the same laws, Scotland often has their own.
In my home state -- Maine -- was illegal to ride a horse within the Augusta city limits until the nineteen nineties.
Rant about disorderly queuing: Yep, Simon is still British. 👌
Its one of the few things we still lead the world in. 😆
Thanks for naming your chair after me. I'm truly honored.
When I was in a petrol station the amount of people that would ask me to load their phones after they brought their vouchers
Fact boy @7:08 calls it Business Blaze!!! LONG LIVE BUSINESS BLAZE & again @ 21:46 And a Glorious 3rd time @45:46 Long live business blaze. Laptedooma
"My wife Allegedly"
Wow Simon, even your wife falls under "Allegedly"?
No, that's how Australia happened, we organised a breakout with messages written on boomerangs, then wrangled some kangaroos to ride off into the sunset while the dropbears held up the guards, then we all got together with the rainbow serpent and the goanna that drunk the billabong and had a sing and a laugh as we ate out of our tukkerbags, and that's the truth.
Us in Australia have to serve a mandatory 5 years in prison under the "Imprisonment service Act 1894" as a requirement to enter adult hood. We are also allowed to substitute the 5 years by going over sea's and getting at least 10 STI's but that option is usually taken up by wankers and politicians kids.
The wording must be tricky. Every Aussie I've met seems sure his duty is to *spread* all those STIs.
@@benjaminsagan5861 were not to sure what we are meant to do, usually getting and spreading is hand in hand at that point
@@jaycobgoodliffe8781 Hand in hand? Not the appendages I use, but to each his own!
How did Peter Andre slip through the net? 🙂
“Why am I clapping? For myself? Wtf....” 🤣
The only reason you didn't get in trouble with the Queen for dressing in camouflage is because she couldn't see you.
Also in highschool I had a friend take a piss in the corner of another friends bedroom because he didn't know where the bathroom and was too afraid to ask. No alcohol was involved and he was never invited back. Man I have weird friends.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not even dude. I stayed the night at this kids house one time. Kid had ADHD and was a Lil weird fs. But he was alright, ya know? Yea, fuck that. I stayed the night ONE time. It's midnight, we are playing games, and I pause and say that I'm heading to the bathroom. He said "no need. Look, my parents gave me these for when I don't want to leave my room when I'm playing with friends or at night". It was a goddamn pee pad for potty training dogs. He laid one in the corner, turned his back to me, and peed on the pad. I was so uncomfortable that I just walked out before he finished, and then went to the kitchen to try to get some distance for a moment. I didn't even have to pee anymore. IIl never forget that shit. WHO DOES THAT!? PARENTS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nah Whistler my mate, you're welcome in Australia anytime. Love the channels.
Fact Boi going on a deeply British rant about queuing was the center tile of my imaginary BB Bingo Card.
🤣 I have one for Casual Criminalist! 🥂
We have the same law about dressing up in military uniform. The way movies and tv get around it is the uniforms are always not exact us military uniforms
I've been a baker for 7 years and where I did my apprenticeship had the issue of no que we had a great big long counter to display all our cakes and pastries and people would just walk up to any part of it and start ordering we had a till on either end but people would just pile up all along the counter and customers would always argue with each other which it ended up being we don't care as long as we weren't being yelled at.
One of the few good things about covid was we had to put down social distance markers and while there was no where near enough space for people to distance properly at least the markers helped them form an actual queue
Best Australian tourist advertisements; at least it's warm.
Also Simon, you don't have to be sober to beat your poor workers, but it helps so as to not become maimed by the very same equipment your being beaten to work at fast
Holy crap, you can urinate in public in the UK? In the USA that gets you on the sex offenders registry
Depends on the state. In Oregon it’s perfectly legal to walk around completely naked as long as you are not aroused and you are not trying to arouse anybody else. There isn’t a law about specifically urinating in public. But some cities have their own rules about it.
There's a lot of officer discretion involved in how public urination is charged, if at all. 2am behind a bar is different than 2pm next to a school playground. Apologetic person in need vs. belligerent AH.
@@andiward7068 also toddler who probably needed to go for ages, but only decided to tell you when they can't hold it anymore, or grown adult who is intoxicated.
@@DBurpees1 also in New York City it's perfectly legal for women to go around topless as long they don't act in a lewd manner... Not sure about the rest of New York state, however
@@bobbyanderson1054 I support this. I’ve always been supportive of the free the nipple movement.
I love apocryphal laws. It's still illegal to sell a used bathtub in Ohio... or look up while eating an ice cream cone in NYC.
There is some funny pig related laws and ordinances in Toronto (old hogtown)
And let a mule sleep in a bathtub in Arizona ,,,,,,,,,, high heels in New York ,,,,,, sex in Utah is illegal,,,,,
@@lisaamerson1547 high heels in New York? never heard that one... I think somewhere there's a law about spitting on the sidewalk(my guess is that it would be related to chewing tobacco). I've heard another one where it's illegal to bathe an elephant in a river and I'm guessing that has to do with something that happened while the circus was in town. usually if you think hard enough it might seem absurd on the surface without context, but if you consider that it's an old law you can probably think of some context in which it would make sense. for instance the "spitting on the sidewalk" law, in the context of a town in the old west where everybody was chewing tobacco and just spitting everywhere they walked, the sidewalks would get pretty gross pretty quickly. I can easily see coming up with such a law as a way to make a Town more tourist friendly, or all the wives banding together and brow beating the local mayor into cleaning up the sidewalks to make trips to the grocery more pleasant for them
In Texas your horse has to have turn signals if being ridden on the road
@@pokeydot1975 just gotta train them to flick the respective ear to the turning direction. Really complete the look.
Also, are there Amish there? Do they have hand operated turn signals?
Saw a story about a Canadian man who got drunk while plowing a parking lot, and throwing snowballs at drivers.
Sam's just gone beyond himself with this one. At least we know that our Fact Boi still descends into madness with every passing day
Texas alcoholic beverage commission laws make it a class b misdemeanor if you serve alcohol to someone who is legally drunk (.08 bac). If your establishment has served more than one or two drinks an hour to a patron, you're risking a lot. They also send people in to try and get you to do so to catch you. And they have people watching for it. If a patron leaves your bar and is caught driving drunk or drunk in public shortly after, and they say they were just at your bar and have a receipt, you can be liable. It's nuts.
He kisses the lamp, but ETA is rotting in the basement with Danny.
I literally finished getting caught up to all of the content and was sad like an hour ago and then I see this and got happy!
I have never understood what's the catch on this channel. Simon getting unhinged? Simon shouting? Simon fcking it up? Don't know but it has been quite entertaining since start of this channel... Would like to see Simon unhinge and make more mess in the future.
Usually watching more documentaries etc, but this is just the best
Good question. No idea. Danny's intros?
I haven't watched a Brain Blaze video before. I just came here after a binge of Into the Shadows. My brain hurts.
Vagrancy laws have in some countries been used to round up the homeless in autumn and giving them sentences that will release them in late spring so that they wouldn't die
Or to make them some other cities problem
As someone who has been homeless and been in prison, I'd rather take my chances on the street and die from exposure than go back behind bars again.
@@xpinkbunnieinwonderlandx8454 yea. Especially jail...at least you get some freedoms in prison. But jail? It's like school. But class is all day, interrupted by three "meals" throughout, and a bunch of other annoying ass people in the pod. Some going up, some coming down, and some stuck there along with you. Fuuuuuuck that
Actually, in the US something like 75% of the homeless actually have jobs, just not jobs that pay them enough to afford a place to live. So imprisoning them would lose them their jobs.
@@anna9072 that's actually so depressing I wish you didn't write it :-/
13 minutes in......wake me up when it starts!! I've forgotten what I'm watching....! Love it!
Yeah, those comments about Putin and the Queen didn't age that well, did they....
Editing had me rolling in this episode. When the cowbell came in, I already knew it was Blue's Clues and it slayed me.
Okay Danny, now you know his weakness! Just need to come up with a tongue twister with clerk in it and you'll trip him up!
I bet Sam could create some wonderful memes to illustrate how far down into madness Simon has descended at various points with the end screen being a grat finishing picture of the chaos in simons brain
I'm too British for this.
The most British sentence ever. You should add that to your merch.
There was an odd law in New Mexico, USA, That allowed red light running, as long as you discharge your revolver as you pass thru 😂 was in fact a law 80 years ago
You can laugh about the murder being illegal, but Northern Ireland once trued to clean up their drug laws, and resulted in all drugs being legal for 4 days
It finally happened, I've watch so much Simon he has started talking directly to me (and all other Peters), that really freaked me out
He's right you know
New Friday game: Drink everytime Simon says "Clark".... got hammered before the intro was over....
Many years ago I saw two one legged men start a fight in my local post office. They hit each other with their walking aids, and it may have been a racist attack by one on the other. I couldn't believe what I was watching, it was insane. It was also a rainy day and the floor was dirty and slippery, in places which they were trying to avoid while fighting. 😁
All I hear in my head while reading this post is Cartman screaming "cripple fiiiiiight!"
@@lux.illuminaughty 😆
Heres 10 that are still on the books in Ohio theres 49 other states
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
2. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
5. It is illegal for more than five woman to live in a house.
6. Posting signs at swimming pools is illegal in Akron.
7. It is also illegal in Akron to display colored chickens for sale.
8. It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road in Bay Village.
9. The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited in Bexley.
10. If someone loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.
Gotta say, I love that Simon gives the inanimate objects a name.
10 years from now when Simon goes completely insane the videos on this channel will be used by researchers to look at his descent into madness and wonder how hundreds of thousands of people managed to watch it without getting him help. :)
We need an animated tv show about Johnny Sausage & Billy Pancake
Talking about old laws. I'm a MacGregor, there is a law from 16 17, saying that no more than 4 MacGregors can meet, by the Scots Parliament "on pain of death". Following a series of murders and outrages. Honestly, look it up
These are seriously the best ad reads ever. Simon dicking around, we love it, and the sponsors realize that we love it and continue to let him cut loose a little.
Why is it so much more fun to learn stuff from someone who has very little idea what they are talking about?
Christmas? I celebrate Blazemas, and its always a white Blazemas because it involves cocaine, screaming about communists and roasting Yoko albums over an open fire. Allegedly.
Nice call back to oz with the chunder reference 🤣
Learning that British call costume parties "fancy dress parties" was my favorite part of this video
Watching this on the 25th of February 2022 feels very surreal (re Simon's story about Putin's 2020 NY speech).
That moment when Simon gets stage right correct, but then corrects it to the wrong way round
When I was 12, the police pulled us over in a Tesco carpark because they thought I was too young to be driving, obviously they were correct but then they asked my father if he thought it was responsible of him, his reply was that because we were driving a range rover we would be fine in the event of an accident so it wasn't irresponsible as all we would hit would be a trolley park, can't argue with that apparently because my dad got away with it.
I feel like a lot of British audiobook narrators that I listen to say "clark" for clerk, too.
Id say clark for clerk too (am a brit)
Yeah, that's the correct way to say it...
Clerk is prounounced "Clark" in English. That is, British English.
I had to send a letter a few months back. I have been working from home since the first lockdown and legitimately didn't know where to buy envelopes. I was right, Asda had some, but I realised that 100% of all my stationary since I left school has been stolen from the office supply cupboard.
I have one paperclip in my desk at home AND IT'S MINE!
Danny! A Brain Blaze of 'true-or-false' stories on Australian history maybe?!
Fun pointless fact about getting permission from the queen to wear uniforms.
The Caledonian, bagpipes and drums, band that I played with. Needed to get written permission to wear the Royal Stewart tartan from the queen herself.
I think that could be if that particular unit is still around. From what I understand (American here) the wear of tartans by someone not of the clan is a major faux paux.