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Fun fact in the UK the finance industry TRIED to scrap Cheques and Cheque books and phase them out by 2008 but faced so much public and private backlash they changed they had to change their minds. They also had a load of backlash from America about it because they are still in the 1970's. How do I know? Worked in finance industry (unfortunately) for 18 years.
That was Elisha, not Elijah. Elijah had been taken up and they were mocking Elisha telling him "Go up you bald head". Because they were essentially calling him a false prophet...
Sam should make a scale to categorize Simon's tangents like scientists do with earthquakes and hurricanes. It'd be great when one starts to see in the corner of the screen something like, "Warning: Category 4 Tangent in progress".
We don't have a fig tree in our yard, but the apple tree didn't care about me yelling and cursing at it one bit. The neighbours however, didn't approve.
My fig tree is just as unfazed as your apple tree. Also it's been growing figs like crazy for the past few weeks (in Australia, so it's late spring), and I'm going to have absolutely tons of fig jam soon.
3 points of note 1. Love your channels 2. There's an old "romance" novel called "Naked Came the Stranger" where each chapter was written by a different person because it was a bunch of journalists trying to write a terrible harlequin romance novel but it ended up becoming a best seller. 3. I work in the mortgage industry, specifically in calculating self employed income, we approve TH-camrs for mortgages all the time :)
I love how different Sam and Jen’s editing styles are. Sam really hits us with the dankest of memes, and Jen really knows how to use a meme to elevate/move along a story
I 100% have four fig trees in the back yard. After more than a few beers thanks to Simon and Sam and the person who posted the Whistler drinking game on Reddit, I turned out to be a bit drunk. After trying several conversational tactics it turns out I was unable to produce figs or dead trees. However when I returned to the kitchen to trade empty cans for full, it seems I had produced a particularly humorous video with my wife as cinematographer and narrator. I found the film to be a bit amateur and in bad taste but it seems to have made our local social media rounds to rave review. So if you see a fat man in sandals drinking a large beer and lecturing a stand of fig trees please be kind. And also remember that this was Simon’s fault in every way.
"This has been an episode of Business Blaze!" Simon shouts at the end. I'll admit, I'm most impressed that you reckon around 100,000 people are watching your continuing descent into madness
I went out as you said to a fig tree and cursed it to death i said "May you wither and die" the tree sprang to life pointed at me and said "NO, YOU!" Instantly I ran, it began to chase after. That was hours ago I'm cold and alone in the wilderness I don't think I've managed to lose the tree. The other plants, i have reason to believe they are in league with my fig tree... Feeding info on my whereabouts. My phone is on 5% I think this is the end for me... At least I was able to get away for this long....
How, in the name of all that’s holy, did Danny’s point of *All Dogs Go To Heaven* not get more attention. That was fucking BRILLIANT writing Danny. I may even have to buy the Free Danny shirt now
I want to see Simon come in with a stack of tablets, read 1 page of the script per tablet, and then chuck the tablet over his shoulder and pick up the next one like he used to do to the paper script.
Probably just a couple of hell's angels, that he met out at toy drive, and now they just keep stopping in to hang out since he told them he makes internet videos, and they either thought cool he's got no job, or cool he's shooting porno in the ol basement
Love the Skeletor “wat” and “joke’s on you, I’m into that shit” memes. F**king awesome. Sam, the Brain Blaze Memeologist, don’t ever stop putting those in.
Love how “for every 10 dogs we have to consider letting a human through” was immediately interpreted as “need the 10 dogs per person, or else the humans are left in the cold” instead of the more likely “we have so many good boys coming through every day that I estimate that this is the ratio.”
I think this wins the award for Danny’s Best Intro, and Simon’s hard rock breakdown about having to actually comprehend his scripts ranks up there with Sam’s Magic Spoon edit. Out-fucking-standing work.
Usually train wrecks are painful to watch. That's the complete opposite on this channel, I don't think I would enjoy a plain, linear episode. I love watching how far Simon can just do whatever he feels like for almost an hour. All three of you are super talented and awesome, keep doing what you do. Thanks for sharing with us!
Was not ready for Metal Simon, but, I kinda liked it. I was good seeing the Barbie meme again after not seeing it for awhile. Simon, congrats on your mortgage approval. More room for your family. New basement for Danny, Callum, et cetera.
To be fair, turning Lot's wife into salt would've made Lot an extremely rich man. As salt was worth as much if not more than gold. You win some, you lose some.
FYI, that's completely false. There is no known point in all of human history where salt was more valuable than gold. Salt was valuable, yes, but not to that level. Salt is a relatively common mineral that can be easily obtained in many parts of the world with rudimentary technology. Most of the cost in many areas was merely shipping it from the ocean/salt lakes to wherever it's sold - that still never got close to the cost of gold. Not only that, the city of sodom was near the dead sea, one of the most famous salt lakes in the world. One of the easiest places to harvest salt - and since transportation was usually the largest cost involved with salt, it would be worth very little in such close proximity to such a cheap source of salt.
For a couple of months now I've been humoring myself with the idea of Simon being a harsh Metal vocalist because of how he sometimes slips into what sounds like a fry scream. It's most noticeable when he does his Southern 'Murican accent, which brought me a tiny mote of personal joy. Then I watched this. I am not displeased. Thank you, Sam. \m/ Harder than rock hard hard rock granite block, straight to top notch pure titanium ingot block stock chock full of hellfire thunderbolt touched by the crimson lightning justice for rust in peace sells but the world needs a far beyond driven seventh son of a world coming down countdown to blessings from a blackened sky infused Heavy Metal.
You want real craziness, you gotta go for the "non-canon" Biblical texts. Like the one where young Jesus straight up kills a guy. Gnostic texts, and texts like the Gospel of Thomas.
@@johnmcm7690 ummmm yeah there is. there are at least a dozen books that were considered Canon but were later removed. You clearly don't know anything about biblical history do you clearly don't know that there are several denominations that still use these non-canonical books to this day.
Simon regails us with the story of kids mocking a baldy. Would've been great if this episode was sponsored by that balding cream (can't remember the name of the product) that he's always pedaling. 😁
@@IsiAurinkoinen Obviously, someone here isn't very imaginative. Just put a jar of Keeps in your bike's bottle cage and rub it in while you're commuting to work or exercising! 😉
@@IsiAurinkoinen Subtlety is wasted on the internet. Just say something like "Wrong word, darling. *Pedaling* is what you do to something with pedals; *peddling* is trying to sell something." Unless you were just amused by the image of Simon pedaling cream? Cheers!
My coworkers probably get tired of me busting out laughing, but this is my favorite Brain Blaze that I always come back to. The tangents plus Sam’s memes are perfect 😂
"Star Trek is immaculate and devoid of plot holes!" Except for every single episode involving Q because an omniscient and omnipotent character breaks any story you put them in... Much like the Bible...
I have such mixed feelings about the Q episodes. Because on one hand... it's cool. On the other hands, it's basically: 'So he's a fantasy wizard in a sci-fi show'.
Star Trek has alternative universes. You can't have plot holes if you can make up aditional worlds were everything could happen...or you can use Q to explain the plot hole away.
@@dirkvandaele4466 Except why an omnipotent being would ever be seen actually doing anything. If Q gets whatever he wants simply by wishing it so then why isn't the universe already exactly the way he wants it? You can't even claim "boredom" because he could directly wish himself to be entertained. This is why an omnipotent character will break every story they're in. Parallel universes work just fine, and I quite like the Terran Empire episodes. Just not Q.
@@brainblaze6526 With all the Star Trek content that's been made over as long of a time as it's been around - they can't all be masterpieces. Still, overall I love it enough to have given my son the middle name "Tiberius" after the obviously-best captain. ;)
You missed the story of Jephthah. The guy wins a battle, and to give thanks to God he vows to sacrifice the first creature to greet him when he gets home. That first creature turns out to be his daughter.
And then when he was repeatedly told to not sacrifice his daughter, go to a sage and annul his vow, he was like "Nah." Like, seriously!? Also a lesson on wording your vows better, but seriously, there were good ways out of that situation. Additionally, since it is forbidden to murder people and that overrides keeping a vow, he might have just been able to get away with giving her market value to charity or something. Like he messed up big time and he gets no slack for it.
@@613aristocrat Honestly that is one of favorite stories, a general begging for help to commit murder has to sacrifice something dear to him is so poetic. Maybe if all generals were forced to murder their kids when they won they wouldn't be so hasty to order the taking of lives for a bit of dirt.
Thoroughly enjoyed this, favourite part is that Danny finally escaped the basement only to be sent back for “misinterpreting” the book of contradictions.
Sam, just so you know, you are my everything. Your exemplary editing of Simon and Danny should earn you a reward of some type. As I have very little, I can only offer my adoration. You dudes blaze on. I am.
I've commented about this before but id like to formally declare I'm no longer working out while watching Business/Brain Blaze. "Yo god, while you're controlling those bears where's my fucking hair. Bring it back". I've never been closer to crushing myself with weights this has to stop.
My favorite Bible story is, when Noah (yes, the Noah), after the flood, got himself super drunk and passed out naked. One of his sons found him and went to the other sons to ask them to help him clean Noah up, they refused. So all by himself, he cleaned his father and carried him to his bed. Once Noah awoke, he was very pissed at this one son for seeing him naked and banished him xD
Congratulations on the mortgage, Fact Boi. You're a *REAL* adult now. You're Factman now. Am I RIGHT, St Peter? Edit: Yes, Conkers is the most British Schoolboy Thing Ever.
The priest joke you wish you had remembered, Simon: Q: What's the difference between a priest and acne? A: Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's at least 13.
The OG PlayStation boot at 5:34 is so good. You have good editors brain boy! Edit: I'm saying pay them more. Edit 2: sorry, your editor for this video is an absolute legend
Sam that metal remix was amazing!! You've got real talent. I would buy it as a ringtone. Simon's story about the fig and chestnut trees were definitely only funny to him, I'm glad he realised at the end. Overall, another cracking video, keep up the good work everyone
I have a suggestion for a future BB episode that SIMON WILL LOVE! "CEOs and heads of state who chose to rely on astrology/voodoo/fortune cookies/etc." (For example, the President of Haiti in 1963 claimed he had caused the assassination of JFK using the power of voodoo! (Allegedly.))
As a Pastafarian, I would love an equivalent critique of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and look forward to the time when you have enough money to pay for the close protection necessary to do Islam. :-)
@@Triggernlfrl All religions are weaponized. It's why they were created. All armies have a god on their side. Even Stalin reinstated the Russian orthodox church to get more cannon fodder in WW2.
Like a fine wine, BB only gets better as time goes on! Lol At least I know that Danny has been working and refining his loooong (Pikachu meme here Sam, pls) intro skills! Makes it better! LOL!
As a Muslim, I want to see Simon talk smack about the Quran. Cause "God, what the fuck?" is the slogan of my life with the amount of shit thrown my way. It'll be fun, a little compilation of weird stories from the Quran and Simon and Danny's take on them. Guess the past really is the worst.
But isn't it really only the second half of the Quran that's gets "weird"? After Mohammed's family was lost to him? I thought he was reasonably moderate before that (which tbh is understandable, going a bit postal after what he allegedly went through).
Um... "your channel?" As in... a single channel? You might want to sit down. I have... news for you. . . . Are you seated, yet? . . . Simon has a HUGE number of channels! He has Biographics, Geographics, Side Projects, Megaprojects, Casual Criminalist, and more. Multiple more. Those are just the ones I could rattle off off the top of my head. 😄 Now, none of them have the same flavor as BB does, though sometimes a bit of the Simon from here sneaks in, but they are all top quality channels. Check them out! I imagine this channel's about tab or the community tab list several of them with links, though I haven't really looked.
I just went down into the comments to look for the comments about how Simon/Dan could've missed the completely insane story of Jephtah, who killed his own daughter as a thank you to god or allowing him to kill all his enemies
how about Phinehas too? He pleased god and ended a plague against the israelites by grabbing a spear and impaling a man and woman who were publicly boning.
God damn Sam has really been bringing the pain lately. I laugh initially at the bit itself then a second time when I think about Simons reaction when he's watching how far off the rails Sam has taken it to side note congratulations on the mortgage approval Simon.
11:00 - Chapter 1 - Never insult a generic baldy 16:35 - Chapter 2 - A gift for the in laws 23:05 - Chapter 3 - Don't diss the talking donkey 30:50 - Chapter 4 - The curse of the fig tree 39:15 - Chapter 5 - Pass the salt darling 46:15 - Chapter 6 - Epilogue, provocation
Maybe Simon should pause his subscription to Shaker and Spoon. 😂 Just kidding, I cried laughing when he couldn’t think of the donkey’s name from Shrek… 🧐
Watching this video while visiting my mom, who's highly religious, oddly enough she has a fig tree. She wouldn't curse it though, said it would hurt its feelings
Sam gets edit rooms and a desk in the basement? I figured he's getting to use one hand to edit and search memes, while the other is chained to the radiator. Who was at the door? Angels?
It was the police, coming to investigate the reports of prisoners in the basement. Sadly, they'll never find the hidden hatch door that leads to Simon's secret hallway.
it’s amazing how people obsess over these stories about people stabbing each other in the desert when in China they’re already reading, writing, and embracing diverse philosophies
Nobody is talking about the “please help us he’s making us read the Bible and dress like furries so he can channel his hatred of dogs thought us” at the end!!!
Get your SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER for MagellanTV here: try.magellantv.com/businessblaze. It's an exclusive offer for our viewers! Buy one, get one free gift card for an annual membership today. MagellanTV is a new kind of streaming service run by filmmakers with 3,000+ documentaries! Check out our personal recommendation and MagellanTV’s exclusive playlists: www.magellantv.com/explore/history
All I want Santa to give me for Christmas is Business Blaze
Fun fact in the UK the finance industry TRIED to scrap Cheques and Cheque books and phase them out by 2008 but faced so much public and private backlash they changed they had to change their minds. They also had a load of backlash from America about it because they are still in the 1970's. How do I know? Worked in finance industry (unfortunately) for 18 years.
That was Elisha, not Elijah. Elijah had been taken up and they were mocking Elisha telling him "Go up you bald head". Because they were essentially calling him a false prophet...
That was Balam's ass... Not a horse... And it was female... And there was an angel who talked to Balam after the she-ass talked to him...
@@DoveGirl Ah we found the person who had the King James's Bible on their Gameboy! :)
Sam should make a scale to categorize Simon's tangents like scientists do with earthquakes and hurricanes. It'd be great when one starts to see in the corner of the screen something like, "Warning: Category 4 Tangent in progress".
Please and yes!!
Yes, brilliant idea! Sam, make it happen!
This measured 6.8 on the Ávila Scale
Yes! We need this
This is one of the only "10/10" ideas I've ever heard in my life.
I love how Sam pretty much talks to us and Simon through memes
the entertainment WITHIN the entertainment is on point over here
@@missconstrued827 always is
She must have a great Twitter.
Memes are pretty much a language itself.
He's amazing at getting his point across in meme form. A true artist Sam is...
We don't have a fig tree in our yard, but the apple tree didn't care about me yelling and cursing at it one bit. The neighbours however, didn't approve.
I just pictured that and now im hurting from laughing lmao 🤣
My fig tree is just as unfazed as your apple tree. Also it's been growing figs like crazy for the past few weeks (in Australia, so it's late spring), and I'm going to have absolutely tons of fig jam soon.
@@SassyGirl822006 fig jam sounds so good!
Yeah.. my neighbors weren't thrilled when I started yelling at their Apple tree either
3 points of note
1. Love your channels
2. There's an old "romance" novel called "Naked Came the Stranger" where each chapter was written by a different person because it was a bunch of journalists trying to write a terrible harlequin romance novel but it ended up becoming a best seller.
3. I work in the mortgage industry, specifically in calculating self employed income, we approve TH-camrs for mortgages all the time :)
I love how different Sam and Jen’s editing styles are. Sam really hits us with the dankest of memes, and Jen really knows how to use a meme to elevate/move along a story
and both are glorious, except when you want it to be a background podcast xd...
Simon: "I think this will have a higher dislike percentage than usual."
TH-cam: "No... i don't think it will."
HIGHER....the key word.
I still see them, don't you guys?
@@han5vk you are mistaken, magic mushrooms
@@ir0nknight721 There's 120 dislikes at the moment
SMASH!! That dislike button!
Na, I hit like.
I 100% have four fig trees in the back yard. After more than a few beers thanks to Simon and Sam and the person who posted the Whistler drinking game on Reddit, I turned out to be a bit drunk. After trying several conversational tactics it turns out I was unable to produce figs or dead trees. However when I returned to the kitchen to trade empty cans for full, it seems I had produced a particularly humorous video with my wife as cinematographer and narrator. I found the film to be a bit amateur and in bad taste but it seems to have made our local social media rounds to rave review. So if you see a fat man in sandals drinking a large beer and lecturing a stand of fig trees please be kind. And also remember that this was Simon’s fault in every way.
Oh, dear, we NEED the link to that! Please, please, and pretty please!
Simon, get ahold of this guy to get the video, andhave Jen re-edit this video with his added in.
Please post a link to the vid or at least the name of the account we can find it on. I need to see this.
Link or it didn't happen
🤣🤣🤣
"This has been an episode of Business Blaze!" Simon shouts at the end. I'll admit, I'm most impressed that you reckon around 100,000 people are watching your continuing descent into madness
Shouldn't that be through madness, he is well into madness already. ( I think it was the ghosts in the criminalist vids ).
It's all the cocaine
@@CassyBug allegedly
These videos have become as watchable as click bait FB stories.
Who is Brian Blaze?
I went out as you said to a fig tree and cursed it to death i said "May you wither and die" the tree sprang to life pointed at me and said "NO, YOU!" Instantly I ran, it began to chase after. That was hours ago I'm cold and alone in the wilderness I don't think I've managed to lose the tree. The other plants, i have reason to believe they are in league with my fig tree... Feeding info on my whereabouts. My phone is on 5% I think this is the end for me... At least I was able to get away for this long....
I love southern accent Simon when justifying crazy bible violence lol so apropos 🤣
I don't think you understand what that word means
@@dimadobrik4516 apropos has two meanings. She is using it correctly as an adjective
@@dimadobrik4516 ... I have bad news for you.
@@dimadobrik4516 I don't think YOU understand what that word means lol
Simon: "I make videos on the internet." Loan Officer: "*wink wink*, I get it..."
*slides a tenner* link please
more like "Oh I know you! You are Johny Sins!"
"Oh shit, I'm sorry."
Bow Chicka Brown Cow...
well, Simon does live in Prague...
Why is nobody talking about the fine editing? This is so bloody funny!!!
Oh Jesus, where is this? x'D
welcome to sam and factboi ft. danny
Every other comment is talking about the fine editing
Literally every comment is about the editing
How, in the name of all that’s holy, did Danny’s point of *All Dogs Go To Heaven* not get more attention. That was fucking BRILLIANT writing Danny. I may even have to buy the Free Danny shirt now
It's because you love dogs more than people! #OGBB
All dogs do get a pass even the bad ones that pee everywhere
Simon has never seen nor heard of "All dogs go to heaven".
He might be just too young for it to have been a thing.
I did and Feel great about it! It’s occurred to me that Danny might be my favorite living writer. I categorize him in my head with Wilde & Adams.
I want to see Simon come in with a stack of tablets, read 1 page of the script per tablet, and then chuck the tablet over his shoulder and pick up the next one like he used to do to the paper script.
“I wasn’t expecting any deliveries…”
*returns*
“Don’t invite angels to your house!”
I’m just gonna assume it was angels ringing the doorbell.
God works in mysterious ways lmao
Nope just a couple of Mormons.😸
Probably just a couple of hell's angels, that he met out at toy drive, and now they just keep stopping in to hang out since he told them he makes internet videos, and they either thought cool he's got no job, or cool he's shooting porno in the ol basement
Love the Skeletor “wat” and “joke’s on you, I’m into that shit” memes. F**king awesome. Sam, the Brain Blaze Memeologist, don’t ever stop putting those in.
I saw that it was a 50 minute episode and knew that Simon was going to go off big time. So far not disappointed. Sam strike's again!
Yet the North Korea video is further off the rails
Felt like about five minutes. Can’t believe it was 50!
Love how “for every 10 dogs we have to consider letting a human through”
was immediately interpreted as “need the 10 dogs per person, or else the humans are left in the cold”
instead of the more likely “we have so many good boys coming through every day that I estimate that this is the ratio.”
lol at that point were back to sacrificing animals to get into heaven lol
Yeah, people brains work differently.
Simon: *"Lot is complicated, he has layers"*
Donkey: *"Everybody likes parfait."*
We need more of these, there's a lot of crazy Bible stories.
Simon’s “bah I got to go back and read it” is this week’s “it came to me in a dream”
Also, I think I'd be down to buy a "Fact Boy Goes Metal" album.
The world needs more heavy metal Simon...
Have to make these sharable!
This is why I watch all Blaze Boy's shit. Every channel. It makes this stuff even more epic.
@@brianwillis3892 yes, absofreakinglutely! The world needs more metal, period, really. 😉😁
“Why don’t you accept me as king”
…”yeah disappointing” 😂😂😂 pure gold Simon keep it up
“I’ve been to a few places”
*chum bucket and casting couch pop up
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- Sam deserves a raise
A higher chair, but the chain wont reach that far.
yep that was amazing hehe
The metal cut of Simon raging about gotta go back and read it gets me every time…. I’m into that shit…
Sam your treatment of the video starting around 18:00 is chef's kiss. I had to hold my sides when I was laughing.
7:29 Simon is every kid who has ever given a school presentation, only to realize halfway through they horribly misunderstood the assignment.
I think this wins the award for Danny’s Best Intro, and Simon’s hard rock breakdown about having to actually comprehend his scripts ranks up there with Sam’s Magic Spoon edit. Out-fucking-standing work.
You forgot about the plead for help from Danny and Sam at the end 49:50
I LOVED this one! So much! Entirely.
Can we get a playlist of Sam's music. The read it song was nice.
We don't want to push anyone off the charts guys...
@@brainblaze6526 we need the blaze on the billboard top 100, fact boy
We need the playlist
LONG LIVE FACT BOY KING OF KINGS
I'd buy that album!
This is the song if anyone is wondering:
Vans in Japan - Higher Octane
th-cam.com/video/0HU_CDYBK_s/w-d-xo.html
Usually train wrecks are painful to watch. That's the complete opposite on this channel, I don't think I would enjoy a plain, linear episode. I love watching how far Simon can just do whatever he feels like for almost an hour. All three of you are super talented and awesome, keep doing what you do. Thanks for sharing with us!
I remember in middle school some religious group was standing just off school property handing out pocket bibles. So. We had a Bible fight.
LOL. See… the bible IS useful!
Bibles also come in very handy if you run out of papers for your joint. Apparently….
Mmmm.
Sam hitting us with a full-fat OG PS bootup sequence. Very well done.
I do believe having two young children and buying a house is dipping into Simon's sleep schedule. 😀
Simon sleeps?
@@gkarenko9593 of course he does he records these videos while sleepwalking
Was not ready for Metal Simon, but, I kinda liked it.
I was good seeing the Barbie meme again after not seeing it for awhile.
Simon, congrats on your mortgage approval. More room for your family. New basement for Danny, Callum, et cetera.
17:53 - 18:29 made my week infinitely more enjoyable. I need this as a text message alert on my phone
Sam needs a medal for editing extra spicy high intensity ADHD Factboi.
Can't believe you didn't wait to upload this on Christmas day
He'll have no problem finding Xmas-related material
To be fair, turning Lot's wife into salt would've made Lot an extremely rich man. As salt was worth as much if not more than gold.
You win some, you lose some.
So break the rules and become worth more than gold is the real moral of the story. Yessss
FYI, that's completely false. There is no known point in all of human history where salt was more valuable than gold. Salt was valuable, yes, but not to that level.
Salt is a relatively common mineral that can be easily obtained in many parts of the world with rudimentary technology. Most of the cost in many areas was merely shipping it from the ocean/salt lakes to wherever it's sold - that still never got close to the cost of gold.
Not only that, the city of sodom was near the dead sea, one of the most famous salt lakes in the world. One of the easiest places to harvest salt - and since transportation was usually the largest cost involved with salt, it would be worth very little in such close proximity to such a cheap source of salt.
Great job Sam. I had tears in my eyes at 18 minutes.
For a couple of months now I've been humoring myself with the idea of Simon being a harsh Metal vocalist because of how he sometimes slips into what sounds like a fry scream. It's most noticeable when he does his Southern 'Murican accent, which brought me a tiny mote of personal joy.
Then I watched this. I am not displeased. Thank you, Sam. \m/
Harder than rock hard hard rock granite block, straight to top notch pure titanium ingot block stock chock full of hellfire thunderbolt touched by the crimson lightning justice for rust in peace sells but the world needs a far beyond driven seventh son of a world coming down countdown to blessings from a blackened sky infused Heavy Metal.
You want real craziness, you gotta go for the "non-canon" Biblical texts. Like the one where young Jesus straight up kills a guy. Gnostic texts, and texts like the Gospel of Thomas.
Still not as crazy as the Samson story
There is no non cannon biblical texts.
@@johnmcm7690 ummmm yeah there is. there are at least a dozen books that were considered Canon but were later removed. You clearly don't know anything about biblical history do you clearly don't know that there are several denominations that still use these non-canonical books to this day.
@@johnmcm7690 there was literally a whole documentary series about them called Banned From the Bible you vacant walnut
@@misszombiequeen yeah people are not smart
Man that OG Playstation sound just gave me a rush of nostalgia!
Simon regails us with the story of kids mocking a baldy. Would've been great if this episode was sponsored by that balding cream (can't remember the name of the product) that he's always pedaling. 😁
Keeps!
@@AmberLie Thank you. Now I can comply with Simon's overlords! 👍🏾
I don't know how you could pedal a balding cream. It doesn't have any pedals! 🤔
@@IsiAurinkoinen Obviously, someone here isn't very imaginative. Just put a jar of Keeps in your bike's bottle cage and rub it in while you're commuting to work or exercising! 😉
@@IsiAurinkoinen Subtlety is wasted on the internet. Just say something like "Wrong word, darling. *Pedaling* is what you do to something with pedals; *peddling* is trying to sell something." Unless you were just amused by the image of Simon pedaling cream? Cheers!
This is my Fav Chanel of the Whistler Catalog, way more fun seeing him be him over another narrator
My coworkers probably get tired of me busting out laughing, but this is my favorite Brain Blaze that I always come back to. The tangents plus Sam’s memes are perfect 😂
This video is a result of Danny's unanswered prayers for freedom.
😂😂😂🤣 I can’t help but totally agree
@Owoade Dolu Clones and slave labor
"Star Trek is immaculate and devoid of plot holes!"
Except for every single episode involving Q because an omniscient and omnipotent character breaks any story you put them in... Much like the Bible...
I have such mixed feelings about the Q episodes. Because on one hand... it's cool. On the other hands, it's basically: 'So he's a fantasy wizard in a sci-fi show'.
Star Trek has alternative universes. You can't have plot holes if you can make up aditional worlds were everything could happen...or you can use Q to explain the plot hole away.
@@dirkvandaele4466 Except why an omnipotent being would ever be seen actually doing anything.
If Q gets whatever he wants simply by wishing it so then why isn't the universe already exactly the way he wants it? You can't even claim "boredom" because he could directly wish himself to be entertained. This is why an omnipotent character will break every story they're in.
Parallel universes work just fine, and I quite like the Terran Empire episodes. Just not Q.
@@brainblaze6526 With all the Star Trek content that's been made over as long of a time as it's been around - they can't all be masterpieces. Still, overall I love it enough to have given my son the middle name "Tiberius" after the obviously-best captain. ;)
@@harrisonjodeit4340 But the best captain’s middle name is Lafayette
You missed the story of Jephthah. The guy wins a battle, and to give thanks to God he vows to sacrifice the first creature to greet him when he gets home. That first creature turns out to be his daughter.
And then when he was repeatedly told to not sacrifice his daughter, go to a sage and annul his vow, he was like "Nah." Like, seriously!?
Also a lesson on wording your vows better, but seriously, there were good ways out of that situation.
Additionally, since it is forbidden to murder people and that overrides keeping a vow, he might have just been able to get away with giving her market value to charity or something. Like he messed up big time and he gets no slack for it.
@@613aristocrat Honestly that is one of favorite stories, a general begging for help to commit murder has to sacrifice something dear to him is so poetic. Maybe if all generals were forced to murder their kids when they won they wouldn't be so hasty to order the taking of lives for a bit of dirt.
Seems like a damn dumb vow to make
The bible phrases it the same way as Abraham's would be one. Aka a burning one.
Is it just me or do a lot of Bible stories just seem like a series of bad decisions.
Thoroughly enjoyed this, favourite part is that Danny finally escaped the basement only to be sent back for “misinterpreting” the book of contradictions.
Sam, just so you know, you are my everything. Your exemplary editing of Simon and Danny should earn you a reward of some type. As I have very little, I can only offer my adoration. You dudes blaze on. I am.
Sam, you are indeed the best editor! Thank you so much for that fantastically metal edit of Simon! 💜💚💜
I’ve been looking forward to this one! Can’t wait to see the Quran episode!
It's comming out right after the Episode on North Korea!
Right, that's gonna happen.
Was looking for this comment!
hopefully there'll be some good memes!
Im gonna have to disappoint you all.
Its mostly just the same stories.
I've commented about this before but id like to formally declare I'm no longer working out while watching Business/Brain Blaze. "Yo god, while you're controlling those bears where's my fucking hair. Bring it back". I've never been closer to crushing myself with weights this has to stop.
My favorite Bible story is, when Noah (yes, the Noah), after the flood, got himself super drunk and passed out naked.
One of his sons found him and went to the other sons to ask them to help him clean Noah up, they refused.
So all by himself, he cleaned his father and carried him to his bed.
Once Noah awoke, he was very pissed at this one son for seeing him naked and banished him xD
You always screw up and call it Business Blaze at the end! We love you tho Simon! Guess i dont have to miss the OGBB outro! Am I RIGHT Peter?!
Congratulations on the mortgage, Fact Boi. You're a *REAL* adult now.
You're Factman now. Am I RIGHT, St Peter?
Edit: Yes, Conkers is the most British Schoolboy Thing Ever.
The only thing more British than school children playing conkers is school teachers attempting to ban it!!
The Aqua Teen Hunger Force meme had me in stitches. It's been so long since I've seen that...Thank you, Sam. Thank you...
The priest joke you wish you had remembered, Simon:
Q: What's the difference between a priest and acne?
A: Acne doesn't come on a boy's face until he's at least 13.
Fucking nice
One of my priests waited until I was 14
Noice
@@ctakitimu Lucky =(
O snap, I’m going to have to remember this one for damn sure!! Haha
Sam, I absolutely LOVE the 'demon rock video"! Danny, the script was excellent! Simon was OK too
SAM- Thank you for musical interlude!
We need more guitar 🎸 riffs!!
I always want to listen to these podcast style but Sam's vintage memes always pull me!
Please do a Brain Blaze video about the origins of many commonly used memes on the show. It would be hilarious.
Nooo.
The mystery must never be revealed. It would be like a magician showing the secrets of his tricks
The “have to go back and read it” song was great 👍🏻.
The OG PlayStation boot at 5:34 is so good.
You have good editors brain boy!
Edit: I'm saying pay them more.
Edit 2: sorry, your editor for this video is an absolute legend
Omg Simon! How much coffee have you had? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you go off on so many tangents in such a short length before! 9:38
WHOL-E-SCHITT
that heavy-metal bit was absolutely fucking hilarious sam!!!!
Timestamp is 18:00
18÷3=6
3×6, or 666
Sam that metal remix was amazing!! You've got real talent. I would buy it as a ringtone.
Simon's story about the fig and chestnut trees were definitely only funny to him, I'm glad he realised at the end.
Overall, another cracking video, keep up the good work everyone
Congratulations on the house Simon. I get to close on my first home tomorrow
Mmmmm Good Sir! I do believe your edits have just nostalgia'd me with that PS1 intro.
My juicy juices be flowin
Simon, you legend, I've never discovered a podcast better in my entire life up until this point and this show is what I now live for.
@17:55 is absolutely amazing metal mix! I smell a new channel.
The Simon gotta go back and read it song is hands down one of the best things ever done on this channel. Well done Sam
I have a suggestion for a future BB episode that SIMON WILL LOVE!
"CEOs and heads of state who chose to rely on astrology/voodoo/fortune cookies/etc."
(For example, the President of Haiti in 1963 claimed he had caused the assassination of JFK using the power of voodoo! (Allegedly.))
Banger idea
That sounds good!!
The president of Myanmar makes rules based on dreams
The CURRENT Prime Minister of Australia "talks to God"....
Steve Jobs would end up in there
As a Pastafarian, I would love an equivalent critique of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and look forward to the time when you have enough money to pay for the close protection necessary to do Islam. :-)
Islam the religion weaponized by the west.....
@@Triggernlfrl are you smoking Crack? Mohammed attacked his own tribe, nearby Jewish tribes, and eventually even the Byzantine Empire.
@@Triggernlfrl All religions are weaponized. It's why they were created. All armies have a god on their side. Even Stalin reinstated the Russian orthodox church to get more cannon fodder in WW2.
By any chance have you watched the Whitney Avalon video of her singing about the glorious Spagetti monster?
@@melindoranightsilver9298 You bet, you bet he flies!
Like a fine wine, BB only gets better as time goes on! Lol
At least I know that Danny has been working and refining his loooong (Pikachu meme here Sam, pls) intro skills! Makes it better! LOL!
I love the way your sense of humour jels with each others.
As a Muslim, I want to see Simon talk smack about the Quran. Cause "God, what the fuck?" is the slogan of my life with the amount of shit thrown my way. It'll be fun, a little compilation of weird stories from the Quran and Simon and Danny's take on them. Guess the past really is the worst.
seems to me it would be only fair.
I doubt he has the guts to do so, just look at the North Korean episode
He can't, you can only make fun of christians or Jews otherwise you are a phobe of some sort.
But isn't it really only the second half of the Quran that's gets "weird"? After Mohammed's family was lost to him? I thought he was reasonably moderate before that (which tbh is understandable, going a bit postal after what he allegedly went through).
You tend not to get beheaded for talking shit about god
😂”Gotta go back and read it...arrg! 🤣 Sam, that was great!!😂 Danny, your scripts are great! Mr. Whistler, your channel is the best! Blaze on, dudes!
Um... "your channel?" As in... a single channel? You might want to sit down. I have... news for you.
.
.
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Are you seated, yet?
.
.
.
Simon has a HUGE number of channels! He has Biographics, Geographics, Side Projects, Megaprojects, Casual Criminalist, and more. Multiple more. Those are just the ones I could rattle off off the top of my head. 😄
Now, none of them have the same flavor as BB does, though sometimes a bit of the Simon from here sneaks in, but they are all top quality channels. Check them out! I imagine this channel's about tab or the community tab list several of them with links, though I haven't really looked.
I actually was wearing my "ask me about my pyramid scheme" sweatshirt while watching this!!!! OGBB!
I just went down into the comments to look for the comments about how Simon/Dan could've missed the completely insane story of Jephtah, who killed his own daughter as a thank you to god or allowing him to kill all his enemies
how about Phinehas too? He pleased god and ended a plague against the israelites by grabbing a spear and impaling a man and woman who were publicly boning.
The editing of this video is superb! 👍👏
*Queue Simon using his Southern accent all the time *
God damn Sam has really been bringing the pain lately. I laugh initially at the bit itself then a second time when I think about Simons reaction when he's watching how far off the rails Sam has taken it to side note congratulations on the mortgage approval Simon.
"A cheeky wiggle as he wanders into the distance" Epic!!!
This channel just gets better and better.
11:00 - Chapter 1 - Never insult a generic baldy
16:35 - Chapter 2 - A gift for the in laws
23:05 - Chapter 3 - Don't diss the talking donkey
30:50 - Chapter 4 - The curse of the fig tree
39:15 - Chapter 5 - Pass the salt darling
46:15 - Chapter 6 - Epilogue, provocation
Always love how I'm usually about 4 minutes into an episode of Brain Blaze before TH-cam tells me there's a new one.
Shame on TH-cam
Yeah, same for me. Also a lot of the time I'll just find a new video while scrolling before I even get the notification.
This is his best EVER! What was the topic again. LEGEND!
Satan only kills ten people in the entire Bible (Job's children), and that was only after God gave him permission.
Maybe Simon should pause his subscription to Shaker and Spoon. 😂
Just kidding, I cried laughing when he couldn’t think of the donkey’s name from Shrek… 🧐
Please more of these. Sam &:Danny one of your best!!!!
Watching this video while visiting my mom, who's highly religious, oddly enough she has a fig tree. She wouldn't curse it though, said it would hurt its feelings
Sam gets edit rooms and a desk in the basement? I figured he's getting to use one hand to edit and search memes, while the other is chained to the radiator.
Who was at the door? Angels?
It was the police, coming to investigate the reports of prisoners in the basement. Sadly, they'll never find the hidden hatch door that leads to Simon's secret hallway.
@@andrelunaisatuna he bribes them in magic spoon and they go away 😸
@@stephjovi "Officer, have you tried the peanut butter one? It's my absolute favorite"
Editing in this blaze is absolute gold as usual Sam. Also another great script by Danny
GREAT Roundabout cue. You're the best there is Sam, well done.
*EDIT: Also, respect 32:58
it’s amazing how people obsess over these stories about people stabbing each other in the desert when in China they’re already reading, writing, and embracing diverse philosophies
That breakdown was epic as fuck.
Nobody is talking about the “please help us he’s making us read the Bible and dress like furries so he can channel his hatred of dogs thought us” at the end!!!
Real legends watch the whole thing!
Only 7 mins in & this is already one of absolute favorites ❤️
This one was both EPIC & FUNNY!!!
BUT SAM WITH HIS SLAYER FACTBOY REMIX TAKES THE CAKE!!